#toji smu

[fuwushiguro]

I Can Be The Eye Of The Storm

chapter six | masterlist | chapter eight

Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader | Megumi Fushiguro x f!Reader

Genre: Smut & Angst with horror/thriller elements Notes: thank u everyone who sent love about this series it’s been fun to get back into it! hope this chapter was worth the wait hehe 💕 Warnings: 18+, rape/noncon, major character death, false imprisonment, violence, attempted murder, blood mention, misogyny. Words: 4.4k

Synopsis: You meet a handsome older man while partying in Paris with your best friend. Going home with a man you've just met isn't usually your style, but looking at him is more than enough to dispel any doubts. But maybe you should have listened to your intuition.

“Toji please!” you cry, pounding against the door. “PLEASE!”

You keep hammering at the wood, you assume it will break if you carry on. But in truth you know you’re the one who’s going to break. You’re exhausted, you’re hurt, you haven’t fully processed everything that’s happened. And now the man who said he loves you is keeping you locked up in a room in the same building as your attacker.

And still, you can’t stop.

No matter how much your arms ache. Despite your voice becoming hoarse and your legs wanting to give out from under you.

You don’t stop.

“She needs a muzzle.” Gojo smirks, flipping through a deck of cards as he sits comfortably on a couch in the living room. The spot you’d been sitting in eating hashbrowns hours earlier without a care in the world.

Toji gawps at him. A little dumbfounded by his sheer audacity.

“What’s wrong, big man?” he asks as he starts to organise the cards. “Didn’t realise she was such a handful? I knew she was trouble from the second I saw her.”

And now, Toji has had enough. He hadn’t been able to sit down, instead pacing around as he heard your pleas and cries of his name. This is so fucked, but he couldn’t think of another way. But hearing what Satoru has to say is making his blood boil, and he’s no better than a caveman despite wanting to be.

“Shut the fuck up!” he lashes out, he approaches Gojo so quickly he’s barely registered their close proximity. He just looks up, and Toji is towering before him. And another second later, the cards are flying out of his hands as Toji begins to throw punches. “You raped my fucking girlfriend and you’re wondering why she’s screaming. Are you fucking kidding me?!” he yells.

“That’s enough.” Nanami breaks them up.

“Easy…” Gojo replies, his face bloody with a busted lip as he tries to regain his composure. “You sound like a pathetic old man, girlfriend? Please, you’re twice her age. It’s embarrassing.”

“I love her. I let you hurt her.” he rakes his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t invite you here for this.”

“So… why did you invite us?” Gojo stands up now, levelling his stare with Toji’s. “You said she’s slutty, and you’re willing to share. I took advantage of what you said and fucked her.”

“Not like this.” Toji responds immediately. “You did take fucking advantage. And you’re not even sorry. You’re not even fucking sorry about what you’ve done to that poor girl.” he argues. He begins to pant out of frustration. Nanami can do nothing but watch the two men argue. Gojo runs his tongue along his top row of teeth before deciding to speak again.

“Either way, we can’t leave her locked in there forever.” Gojo reminds him.

“I should let her call the police. I cannot fucking believe you’ve done this you stupid fuck.” Toji carries on with his barrage of insults. His gaze keeps flitting between the men he’s with and the stairs to the bedroom you’re locked in. “I don’t think a little bit of coke is going to matter to the police when there are bigger things to focus on.”

“You’re not calling the police.” Nanami speaks.

“Right, you’re not going to call them. Because you know it’ll blow all of our shit up and it’ll fuck yours up the most. So shut the fuck up, sit down and shuffle the cards. We can think about what to do in the morning.” Gojo orders him.

“I’m not fuckin’ playing.” Toji tells him. He retreats to the kitchen and grabs himself a beer, cracking off the top with his teeth. He’s only just realised his knuckles are bleeding and his hands are shaking. He puts down his beer and holds his head in his hands, his head pounding with the gravity of the situation.

Nanami picks up the cards that Gojo had dropped and begins to shuffle again. He hands them all out between to two of them, thinking snap is probably the easiest and low effort game to play.

“How can you sit there and play cards knowing what you’ve done?” Toji asks, emerald eyes vibrating as he stares over to Gojo.

“Just having fun, Toji.” he smirks again, “Just a little fun.”

A few hours pass and you know Toji isn’t coming. He’s hiding from you, he’s ashamed. Not that you know that, though. To you, he’s having fun with his friends and laughing at your expense.

You gave up kicking and punching the door a while ago. Now, you’re crumpled in a heap on the bedroom floor. Is this all you can do? Give up and accept this is it for you? That Toji might keep you locked up in this place until you agree to their terms? They can’t… they can’t make you.

And then a harrowing thought crosses your mind.

No one knows you’re here.

One of them alone could easily shut you up for good.

And there are three of them.

“To—” you stop yourself before his name becomes louder than a whisper. He doesn’t care about you. He isn’t going to help you. It’s all about self-preservation, for him. Toji is too scared of facing prison to help you out of this mess.

It’s got to be you.

You pull yourself to your feet using the bed frame, your legs are still shaky, but you know you’ll have to find your nerve soon. There’s no one coming to save you, nobody is going to undo the damage that has been done. If those three are all about self-preservation, you have to be to.

But nothing is catching your eye. There isn’t a single thing you can use to your advantage. You think about battering the door down using the armchair in the corner of the room, but you can’t imagine you have enough strength to keep repeatedly hammering away at it.

You instinctively reach for your phone, forgetting Toji had taken it from you.

“Fuck.” you mutter and begin to pace around the room. All you can think about is Nobara. What would she do in this situation? But that question immediately vanishes when you remember she wouldn’t be stupid enough to get herself into this mess. She didn’t trust Toji from the get-go and you shouldn’t have either. Tears begin to well in your eyes and spill over as you realise your momentary injection of heroism has been snuffed out. You’re stuck here like the useless idiot you are.

Your breath hitches as you look at the windows in the room. The same windows Gojo attacked you against. Your heart race quickens as you replay it in your mind. You can’t help but feel sick. It’s as though you can physically feel the weight of a bowling ball in your stomach as you relive the incident that occurred hours ago and think about the only thing people will see you as if you manage to escape.

A victim.

You place your hands against the window, and then your forehead, closing your eyes and beginning to sob violently. What had you done to deserve this? You know you’re stupid. You’re gullible and a fool and you’re just so fucking useless. But is that really a crime that deserves such a severe punishment? Is being a failure truly worthy of what Satoru Gojo had done to you?

As your eyes slowly begin to flutter open, you notice the pool illuminating your skin as it had with Gojo in his room earlier. It’s dark outside now, the cyan water even more bold than it was this morning. It looks so inviting…

It looks so… warm.

“Snap, I win.”

“You’ve gotta be cheating, Kento. You’re killing me.” Gojo laughs.

Toji is still leaning over the breakfast bar as he watches them both play their tedious little game of snap. He’s thinking about going to see you now. Checking on you, seeing where your head is at. He thinks maybe if he grovels, you two might be able to work something out. He’s drunk, he’s coked up, everyone is coked up. But surely there is some arrangement you can come to so that he can make things right without involving the police.

“I’m gonna head up.” Toji announces, shoving his fifth bottle of beer to the edge of the counter. “I need to check on her… try and do some damage contro—”

The three men pause, almost frozen in time as they look at one another to confirm they all heard that. Did they all really hear the sound of glass shattering from upstairs? They can’t move. None of them can bring themselves to snap out of their daze and move. What the hell was that?

And then, the sound of the crashing glass is followed by the familiar sound of water splashing. Toji finally manages to move himself, standing with Nanami and Gojo as they rise to their feet and stare at the bubbling blue water they can see out of the window.

Nobody says a word. They just stare and continue to stare.

Suddenly, you rise. The water is wiped from your eyes, and you see all of their eyes fixed on you. You too, are frozen. All you can do is kick your legs to keep you afloat. You know that your fear of them chasing you will be realised as soon as you make a break for it.

But you can’t stay here.

You swim as fast as you can to the edge of the pool, and your prediction comes true. As soon as you start swimming, they’re running for the front door. They’re scared, they’re panicking, this turn of events hadn’t even been in the equation for them.

Before they can unlock the front door, you’re already out of the pool and sprinting in the wrong direction. You’ve become disorientated but you know that you can’t double back on yourself, you’ll only fall into one of their arms and end up locked in a room without a method of escape. You have one chance to get away, and this is it.

Despite running through the wilderness in your underwear, you’d been smart enough to put on a pair of trainers and a jacket. You’d have covered yourself more, but you thought the water would weigh you down and give them more of a chance to catch you. That’s not a chance you can take.

“Princess!” you hear Toji bellow in the distance. There’s a gap between you for now, but you know it won’t be long before they close the distance. You don’t think hiding is an option, you have to keep running.

You run.

You fucking run until you feel your lungs empty.

You run until your legs are cut to shreds by the brambles and thorns through the trees.

You run… until you can’t.

You’re staring over the edge of a cliff; another step would mean certain death and your stomach plummets at the thought of accidentally falling over. Looking left and right does little good as you know you’ll ultimately be met with the same fate no matter which way you go. The snow begins to nip at your skin. The adrenaline is wearing off and you’re starting to feel hopeless once more.

As you take a deep breath and contemplate your next move, you feel a strong grip on your wrist.

“Caught ya.” Gojo smiles, menacingly. You let out a scream and try to yank your arm from him, but it does no good. Toji and Nanami aren’t around, they must have split up to search for you. It’s just you and Satoru. And your legs begin to give out under you once again. “Squeezing your thighs f’me, hm? That excited to see me again?”

“L-Let go.” you try to sound confident, but your stuttering earns a pitiful laugh. This is the worst-case scenario. You can barely process what he did to you let alone what is about to happen. And Toji, once again, isn’t here to stop him.

“You’re no victim, look at you. Even now you’re running around in your underwear like a slut. Do you love the attention that much? You know anyone could be out here, waiting to fuck you. But that’s exciting to you, right? I get it, being desirable is the greatest feeling in the world. That’s why I couldn’t keep my hands off ya.”

“You raped me.” you say, your voice refusing to falter. “You know what you did, and you have to live with that until the day you die.”

“It doesn’t bother me, sweetheart. I wanted something and I got it, that’s how I am. It’s my right. And you were begging for me to fuck you.”

“No—”

“Yes.” he interjects. “Girls like you are good for one thing, and you know it. You’re just a cunt to be fucked. You’re barely a person. You’re a hole to be filled and make men feel good about themselves. You don’t think Toji loved you, do you? He loved having a pretty young thing wrapped around him and being able to brag about it. You’re nothing.”

“I— I’m…” you don’t know what to say. Partly because you think he might be right. You’ve always known it was ridiculous for Toji to be saying he loved you after barely knowing each other. It was some Disney romance you’d built up in your head to be more than it was. It wasn’t and isn’t love. It’s just lust.

You’re nothing.

You’re nothing.

“At least I’m not a rapist.” you tell him, your eyes focusing on his as you refuse to back down. “I’ve never had to have sex by force. I have loved and been loved. You just hurt people.” he grunts, forcing you closer to the edge of the mountain. It makes you smile, laugh, even. Knowing that you’re getting under his skin.

“You should be careful how you speak to people when you’re in such precarious situations.” he warns you. It’s a threat, and you see the gleam in his eye which tells you he isn’t afraid to follow through.

“I don’t give a fuck.” you smile. “You can’t do anything worse to me than you already have.”

“Wanna bet?”

“If I die, if you murder me, I promise… I’m going to haunt you until the end of time.” you start. “Whether I’m the first, only, or last of the people you’ve hurt like this. I will fucking haunt you until you lose your mind. I’ll always be with you, like your own personal stalker. And I won’t stop until you get what’s coming to you.” you speak with so much conviction, you hear a shallow and panicked grunt settle in his throat. He finds his steel once more, looking at you with disdain before allowing himself to smile.

“Go ahead and try,” he pushes you away from him. “I don’t believe in ghosts.” and with a final kick to your abdomen, a harrowing, involuntary scream tells you both that you’re not long for the world.

The air bites at your skin as you fall. He watches in horror as he realises what he’s done. What he has actually done. He’s killed you. Your eyes lock as you continue to fall. There’s no reading either of your expressions. Though he imagines you’re in shock, he is too, after all. He can’t turn away until he hears a thud, a disgusted gasp leaving him before he turns to look again. The white snow around you has been stained red, and your eyes are staring daggers up at him.

“Shit.” he speaks, pacing around as he tries to contemplate what to do.

For the first time in his life, he thinks he might actually be experiencing regret. His knees buckle, just as yours had after he assaulted you. His eyes fill with tears as he crawls on his hands and knees to peer over the edge and see your lifeless body staring back at him. He covers his mouth with a hand as he tries to keep it together.

You’d spoken with so much conviction and certainty. And now Satoru Gojo is experiencing… remorse? For the first time in his fucking life. Could you have been right about haunting him? Is this your doing?

“Have you found her?” Nanami asks, emerging from behind.

“Her footprints disappeared, she’s smarter than we’ve given her credit for.” Toji announces.

They both look confused as Gojo can’t pull himself away from the edge of the cliff. All they see is a pathetic, snivelling man on all fours. A sight neither of them had ever expected to see before. Toji’s brows furrow, and Nanami’s eyes widen as he realises what’s going on in record time.

“Try to stay calm.” he puts his arm across Toji’s chest, doing what he can to calm the situation before things get out of hand. But Toji is confused, he doesn’t understand why Nanami said something so random. He is calm. But they need to find you before things escalate even further.

It finally hits Toji when Gojo turns to look at them. Cheeks sparkling with tears in the winter moonlight.

“I f-found her like this.” he lies, effortlessly.

“No, no no…” Toji panics and hurries to look over the edge with Gojo. “FUCK!” he bellows as he witnesses the same sight Gojo had been staring at for quite some time. Nanami joins the two of them, standing on the other side of Toji as all three men look down at you with nothing but contempt.

“It’s regrettable, but I doubt anyone will find her out here. It seems we’re in the clear.” Nanami tells them, cool and collected as always.

Toji can’t stop himself from crying, his lip quivering as he stares down at you. He can’t feel the sting of the freezing wind and nothing else is happening between him and the woman he genuinely fell in love with, in a bloody puddle beneath him.

“I didn’t do it…” Gojo sniffles. It’s the only thing that can break Toji out of his trance as he starts to see red other than the blood surrounding your body.

“Is that what you think?” he mutters, his lips in a tight line as he feels more tears spill over and down his cheeks as he carries on staring at you. “You think you didn’t cause this?”

“She must have slipped while she was running.” Gojo lies, again, it comes too easy to him and Toji can see right through his crocodile tears. He kicks him to the ground so he’s flat on his back, and he can’t stop himself from delivering a multitude of brutal, heavy-handed punches directly into his face.

“You think this isn’t your fucking fault?!” he yells as he continues. He warns Nanami to back off when he tries to separate them again. “I should fucking kill you, you think she’d be running for her life out here if not for you? You think she’d be dead if you hadn’t—” he can’t even say it, covering his sorrow with more anger as he beats Gojo to a bloody pulp.

“You made your point.” Nanami interjects, consequences be damned. “The last thing we need is another dead body out here. We need to get back and figure out what we’re going to do about this.” he speaks, managing to tear Toji away from Gojo.

“Fuck sake, fine.” Toji grunts, walking ahead of them both. Nanami helps Gojo to his feet and helps him walk back to the house.

You’re so still. So statuesque as their voices fade from being clear to quiet mumbles. And then finally to nothing. But you don’t move, you just continue to lie still, soon to be a memory to all who knew you.

The atmosphere in the cabin is damn near disgusting. Nobody has spoken a word in hours, and the black sky is starting to fade. Toji can’t tear his gaze from the crackling fire while Gojo continuously dabs tissue on his gushing wounds and bleeding nose.

“I fucking loved her.” Toji grimaces, not sure if he’s talking to himself or letting Gojo know what he’s taken from him. “I don’t really give a shit what you thought of her or us�� I know how I feel, and I loved her.” he finishes, wiping a lone tear from his eye as he tries to wrap his head around the fact that he brought you here and you’ve been murdered for it.

“Please try not to kill each other.” Nanami orders the two of them as he takes his cup of coffee and a cigarette outside. The two men watch him go before their eyes return to the aggressive flames in the fireplace.

“Sure you did.”

“Don’t push me, Satoru, or I’m gonna turn your face inside out.” he warns him.

“Whatever. It’s done now, she’s gone. What’s happened, has happened. We need to think about what we do next.” he tries to reason with him. “We’re going to have to pretend everything is fine and normal. We’re going to have to make sure nobody knows this ever happened.”

“I’ve got her phone so I can cover things for a while… and her car keys are—” he thinks for a moment as he tries to recall the last place he saw them. He checks inside the bowl at the entrance only to discover they’re not there. “They must be in our room.” he runs upstairs to check. The reality of how much covering up they’re going to have to do hits him as he sees your luggage littered around the room. But he tries to focus on searching for the keys. “Shit.” he speaks quietly as it dawns on him that you’ve taken them. He leaves the room, spotting Gojo at the bottom of the stairs.

“Well?”

“She must have taken them.” he alerts him. “She must have been planning on going for the car but ran the wrong way.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, shit. We’ve got to burn her stuff and figure out a way to dump the fucking car.” Toji speaks, visibly getting agitated again. “You’ve fucked us.” he yells at Gojo.

“This is not my fault! It was you who—”

Again.

Another splash in the pool.

You watch on in horror as Nanami’s lifeless body falls into the pool. That beautiful aqua colour becoming stained with red. But you don’t have time to watch this. You don’t have time to stand around and watch a dead man drown. You drop the heavy log you found on your way back to the cabin, the edge stained with Nanami’s blood. You knew it would kill him. You knew you’d become a murderer the second you picked it up no matter who you struck with it. He hadn’t bothered to save you when he could have. He decided to be ignorant, and he had no qualms in leaving you for dead back there.

Why would you grant him anything but the same?

You flee before you can be spotted, getting your car keys from your pocket, and hurrying inside. Once Gojo and Toji see Nanami’s body gushing blood in the pool, they know what’s happening. As they rush outside, they both spot you behind the wheel of your car, headlights beaming as you prepare to pull away. Toji rushes over to slam on the hood, begging you to get out so you can talk. You shake your head, barely able to look at him. Your eyes are more focused on Satoru Gojo.

He’s horrified.

You’d think he’d just seen an honest to God ghost before his very eyes.

And you will fucking haunt him.

You flip them both off before reversing as fast as you can and driving away.

Toji drops to his knees, he thinks he might be having a panic attack. He has emotional whiplash from everything that’s just unfolded. He was convinced you were dead, everybody was. And now… Nanami is gone.

“This isn’t over. She’s not going to let this go.” Toji practically heaves as he explains through panicked breaths.

“She’s really going to haunt me.”

“Yeah, we need to count our fucking days.” Toji continues. “You’ve fucked us.”

“I’m sorry.” Gojo answers.

“What good is sorry now, Gojo? We’re dead men walking.”

You drove, you don’t know how long for. So long that you thought you might crash if you had to keep your eyes open any longer. For some reason, you thought you’d been driving home. To the safety of your father and brothers. The security of your home and the money your father would ultimately use to guarantee justice for what you’ve been through and shield you from you suffering the consequences of what you did to Nanami.

But you’re not home. You’re parking at a house that you recognise, though. Your legs are moving on auto pilot as you get out of the car, not even bothering to close the door behind you as you approach the front door.

You don’t even know what time it is, so you can’t find it in you to care as you press the doorbell and begin to pound on the door repeatedly. There’s not a word you can say, not a single thing to speak of as you continue what you’re doing and wait for somebody to answer.

“I’m coming! Do you know what time it is?” you hear from inside as the stairs creak beneath their feet. “What is it?” she asks as the door opens.

“Nobara…” you manage to speak, your voice absolutely shredded to pieces. “Do you have a cigarette?” you ask before collapsing into her arms.

“Oh my God… Oh fuck, hey, hey hey. Don’t die on me!” she begins to cry as she tries to lower you carefully to the ground and hold you in her arms. “Maki! MAKI! CALL AN AMBULANCE!” she screams before turning to look at you again. Your eyes begin to flutter, and you can’t keep them open anymore.

“I love you…” you whisper, before fully closing them.

“Please don’t die!” she sobs, cradling your body close to hers. “I love you too, dummy. Hear me? I love you so much… so please don’t die.”

© 2023 fuwushiguro

[saintobio]

Hi Ai! SN asks are one of the things I love reading here on tumblr everyone having their own theories so creative. At this point I really think MC knowing what Gojo did to Sera and might got her damn pregnant will be the last blow on her😭

on god it will be 😭 and speaking of theories, i shall compile them all under here <33 i hope u don’t mind

@fusheeguro said

Ok ik i said i wanted gojo and y/n to be endgame, and strangely i was happy reading this bc gojo finally got his ass denied?? and despite knowing that home girl has a life threatening disease and could die??? I SWEAR I AM NOT A WEIRDO!! this chapter just made sense!! i was soooo satisfied with the way things were handled. also, the way i see our home girl becoming a noble fashion designer? like yes y/n, chase yo dreams!! make them clothes for all the zen’in teens. get your paper. don’t let that booty ass crusty ass hoe hold you down!! (p.s. i sent that y/n gojo endgame ask b4 i read chap 8 and by the time i was done writing and ready to send it YOU UPDATED LANSJWBSHS I AM NOT A GOJO APOLOGIST NOR SIMP)

also can i just take a second to say SLAYYY SLAYYYYYY AI. YOUR WRITING JUST BUILT DIFF. YOU KNOW SHE’S A GOOD WRITER WHEN SHE MAKES YOUR FEEL SUMN! THIS SHIT IS SOME GOOD BIRD FOOD FOR MY PIGEON ASS!! but dw i am a delivery pigeon who knows how to drop off mail and i am omw to tell my notes how satisfied i am with chapter 9 🚪✨

Anonymous said

first off would like to tell u that this fic is so captivating and i lit binge read the first five and could not wait for the other chapters to release

like although all the main characters (sera gojo and yn) have something to hate abt them they’re really well developed and idk how u keep up with writing this without being slightly biased or annoyed 😭

and honestly the chap 8 ended in such a cliffhanger and i couldn’t wait for this next chapter

chap 9 was honestly so good but the only thing that made me meh was yn getting a heart condition (b/c i really don’t want this to be the cliche im abt to die and u j confessed ur love type thing if that makes sense)

but other than that thank u so much for everything and i am looking forward to the rest of the series!!!

(btw j wanna shout out ur chapter five cause i genuinely think it’s a masterpiece… it really hyped 😭)

@t2iara said

HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK

so we were the one who said 'u qanna make it up to me, u hv to do it for the rest of your life ' OMGDJJG AND GOJOU WAS THE ONE WHO SAID 'you're not valuable wnough to ruin my life' TO SERA AHHAHA CHILLS, sera is so inconsiderate.. shawty its ok to imagine what you would look like with a baby bump😢 just dont regret it when i take you to court😠😠 obviously you have some brain problems if you think you're still the victim here. mc is literally bound to die but its ok you didnt know😀 i hope u still don't think im faking my heart problems for attention!!1!!1!1 FSCKING BITAKDH i will let you know your place next time hahahah yk you cant be in the sidelines forever because one day satoru is gonna wake up and decide that oh im gonna end things w my mistress today because i need to make things right😯 then you'll experience more struggles in your life and maybe MAYBE thatll change your mindset and i hope you change for the better and realize that you just need to "let things be" 🤰🏌 lol

pointing fingers at us wont do you any good💔💔 affsdsd sera probably thinks that if she gets pregnant by gojous baby then he has to divorce us and marry her instead because mostly in shows thats how it works.. as if satoru will divorce us lol he doesnt have the balls to do it💓 toji toji i love you thx for the small talk😭 looking forward for our meetings w the zen'ins !!!! <3 HAHA MIWA HEY HEYYY👋👋👋 i rlly hope she wont be a problem here (like being a second mistress SORRY) because doesnt she like gojou in the anime and shes gojous type when utahime asked him😳😳 and omg i didnt even notice that gjou didnt ask us if we want a baby bc i was focused on the smut ajsjjsjs, the ring🤩 first step if we're gonna ignore satoru bc last chapter our ring was the reason why y/n considered going after his ring in the ocean. thanks for the sera going home pov💗💗 i rem you included asking us if we want to see her pov going home in my last ask💗💗

@honouredsatoru said

i am still on a hiatus but i come back every friday just to catch up with your series. its so beautifully, painfully, frustratingl written and it gets my soul all riled up whenever y/n is being mistreated bcs she doesnt deserve this. but as a fellow writer, i know you have it planned and only the best for her.

sincerely, not started out as a typical series for me but i think i can confidently say that i am emotionall, mentally and spiritually attached to this series. thank you so much for working so damn hard. do take good care of yourself and please dont mind the negative messages, we all love you <3

also something for cuntjo 😌 may your coffee taste absolutely bitter with loads of coffee grounds still in it, maybe your socks get ripped out. may your presentation slides suddenly stopped whilst attending a crucial meeting, may your airpods break by the 2nd night you bought them. to y/n, you're doing great sweetheart! i love youuu.

Anonymous said

hi!!! amazing chapter once more!!!! i love this fic w all my heart it's beyond amazing. also i have a thought??? lol but idk if you've ever mentioned it bc i have poor memory but did gojo and sera get together before or after sera got the job at gojo's company??? bc like i feel like to a certain extent, being at the company and having strong ties w a person in power is kinda feeding into sera's little fantasy about having a rich life. granted, i do empathize w her on her family life because no one ever deserves to have to struggle so much just to have a barely livable lifestyle. however, the more she's involved in the business and family things, the more she's submerged into this little delusion that all rich people are blessed w no problems (again not always 100% true and has a lot of nuance but at least rich ppl don't rlly have to work EXTREMELY extremely hard to live a comfortable lifestyle). like the fact that sera believes that y/n can't have any problems and issues bc everything has been handed to her on a silver platter and disregards everything y/n went through. and she's been always disregarding gojo's past and trauma. it's like she doesn't want that "rich image and lifestyle" to be tainted. idk if i'm making sense since english is not my first language. i'm not rlly good w words and theories. but hopefully u understood what i said. that again, i thoroughly enjoyed this chapter and all other chapters!!! will be continuously reading it until the next one comes heheheeh <33333

Anonymous said

Hello Ai! This is my first time asking something through here so I'm a bit nervous😭but feel free to ignore this since i know that you have 300+ more ask and your probably busy! :)

Anyways, before I carry on I'd like to say how much I love your writing, its ✨MUaH✨ chefs kiss😩✋

Your story's with angst are all always top tier💕 so keep at it! You're doing great

Anyways to stop my heart from hurting through all the angst I've been reading on your Sn story(especially chapter 8/9). I had this silly headcanon that came into mind when I read someone's ask about y/n and satoru's kid 'sachiro' (or sum like that I can't remember) and I'd like to know what your interpretation would be like(as the writer/author) if y/n ended re-marrying toji(in the whole co-parenting thing), and how he would be as a step-dad towards sachiro.

[So yes step daddy toji in the house yall😩]

I personally think Satoru's pettiness levels would be extremely high since y/n married his rival company and be low-key jealous of how close he is to sachiro///

(again this is totally dumb thing that came into my mind when the whole 'co-parenting' ask appeared and I totally need something to ease the pain rn 😭lookey cryin with the homies rn and sera you better be sleeping with an eye open cuz theses anons are ready to throw hands///me included)

Anonymous said

Wow just wow 😳 Did not expect that ?? But like I’m glad ?!!?? It took a heart condition for mc to cut hoejo out of her life ?? Also I desperately want mc’s dad and sis to know everything and I mean everything sera and slutoru did too her( hope they destroy his company )

Why do so many want mc and hoejo to get together in the end ? That makes no sense to me ? Like how do you get past that, the pain and trauma and cheating? How can you trust ? Also I don’t believe he’s in love with her. Love is a actions , not words. If he loved her he’d give the divorce papers with a generous gift or something. He’s still so selfish plus I think he only really likes her coz of how much she does for him ? He likes how she keeps the house tidy, how she comforts him,how she takes care of his nightmares, how she’s so sweet and submissive for him? How she helps with his image and status? They’re all so superficial. Like what is 10yrs down the line he likes his sweet secretary who’s had similar trauma (to him) who just seems to understand him yadda yadda. He knows nothing about mc, he doesn’t know her quirks doesn’t care about her sketches or passions ?, her grief with her moms death,her friends etc? Those things could have been done on the side abs subtly. I just don’t believe he loves her at all, it’s basically him losing his second mommy. I don’t know why anyone hasn’t said this yet but mc needs to settle down with firefighter best boy yuuji itadori. The only one who’d treat her well. Ik people are rooting for Toji but he loves his wife still, don’t want to stomp on that, it feels more mentor/ mentee relationship anyway

Ending this by fangirling over how goood of a writer you are. I am in awe. Plus the suspense , I randomly think about what’s going happen next Friday or I’ll just get a bout of anger thinking about hoejo while furiously eating yougurt.

Thank you for this amazing series

-🍱

@dora-the-grownup said

HEHEHEHEHE YALL HEAR THAT?? TOJIS VOICE THRU YNS PHONE SPARKED ELECTRICITYYYYYYYYYY 😆⚡️🦋💘💖✨ #mrszenin #tojicalledusmrszenin #zeninclan #WEREMEETINGMEGUMI shejkskmdmdmdnfm sir i am in love w u

for the baby’s sake, i hope sera isn’t pregnant. i rlly dont vibe with sera like,, she’s kinda immature,, and she’s lowkey materialistic?? idealistic?? that’s her downfall rlly. plus she’s so self centered like bae </3 the world doesn’t revolve around u 😭 if she had a kid, i’m scared she’d be one of those moms who blame all their troubles in life on the child. i feel like she’d be the type to have high expectations of her kid and if they don’t fulfill it, she’d get so disappointed and antagonize them and go into another whirl of “here we go again with why my life isn’t perfect”. i definitely am scared that sera would look at a child as a way to start over her own life and project her own shit onto them

sera’s mom seemed so nice thooo :( she didn’t deserve sera’s angry words i felt so bad for her :( it must have been so awkward for her fam to eat at the table after her outburst too lol it’s giving very childhood trauma vibes for her siblings rip

okok so toji fushiguro 💓💗💕💖💘💕💘💞 but idk gojo this chapter is making me feel a lil smthsmth 🤨❤️‍🩹(?)… i’ve said before that he needed time alone for self reflection because he’s just been dragged around by sera and his pride that he can’t rlly think for himself anymore, and i’m honestly so glad he’s had a week to think (and suffer alone but whatever he had it coming). i love that he’s rlly trying now and that he’s realizing the weight of his past actions AND I LOVE YN GIRLBOSSING HER WAY THRU IT OH YES THAT LAST LINE 🙌👏 YEA BESTIE 💪💅

i’m rlly looking forward to finally seeing yn in action with her passion when she goes to the zenin estate 🙈 i jus know that shits gonna make me so giddy HAHAHAHA anywayyy thank u so much for this chapter! no lie, sn makes my saturday mornings so exciting and it’s what i look forward to all week 😩

Anonymous said

this chapter was so heartbreaking for me to read /lh /pos(??)

like, just the part of mc's heart disease made me cry like idk??? like a baby? because when i was 5, i was diagnosed with one (and thank god is cured bc i had surgery when i was 8) but i stopped to think if i hadn't gone to the hospital that day, maybe i wouldn't have discovered this and i wouldn't have had the surgery annnd like, this made me cry a lot,,,,, your work is amazing, it makes me think about a lot of things in my life i didn't really paid attention, i guess

@katsulovee said

hii!! I don’t really have much to say but I’m glad that yn is starting to take care of herself now and focus on herself worth!! I really hope she does so after her dream on running her own little company one day with help from mr toji.

I also love yn and toji’s relationship!! I love how she can really open up to him, even about her condition and kinda treats her like family too!! I really wish yn the best in future happiness because she really deserves it from all the pain and suffering she’s been put through.

thatminniechick said

YESSSS Y/N MAKE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS LETS GO!!! Design them clothes line! Also there's no real way for Goji to start making it up to her until he breaks it off with Sera and minimizes contact, and that'd just be the beginning. It's upsetting to read that Sera blames Y/N for her misfortunes that Y/N isnt even aware off. She's so clouded in bitterness that she doesnt realize that she is as toxic as her parents are to her. It's tragic. Beautifully written chapter! Cant wait for the next one.

@m3gumiis said

Hiiii i know you have a shit ton of asks but I truthfully could not hold back on sending this.

First and foremost, you did it again!! This chapter was done beautifully as well as the others, I’m looking forward for the future angst and satoru redemption arc.

Second, “To know that you might end up six feet under and be forgotten in this world like your mom did was an experience that left blisters on your heart.”

Jesus. this was so heartbreaking. I didn’t realize this was a fear of mine until I read that line i’m just wow. Hypothetically speaking, if MC does end up dying, I honestly hope she is not forgotten easily.

also this line, “M-My heart’s already suffering,” WAS GENUIS!! the way MC is being so literal about it is scary because satoru doesn’t even realize it. like GOOSEBUMPS FR.

and I have a question, so you mentioned that sera’s family was given money by Gojo’s so does that mean they are aware she is in a secret relationship with him? and i’m glad you included her POV, as a first gen here i understand having to be the breadwinner in the family. although it might be the pisces in me, i do sympathize with her and understand why she views the world the way she does.

Thank you for taking the time to not only answer asks but update on such a tight schedule. You deserve all the love to come!!! :D

Anonymous said

Only you can make a 9k chapter feel so short 😭😭 I always want to know more everytime I finish a chapter

Gojo is finally getting what was coming for him and he deserves it. He's in denial about it, but he absolutely was just as abusive as his dad, even if he would never get physically violent. It makes me have so many encountered feelings, bc I'm a gojo simp and kinda want mc and him to have their happy ever after, but realistically that kind of emotional abuse is extremely hard to look past and move on from, and in real life I would absolutely beg mc to get away from him as fast as possible.

I also find it so hard to empathize with sera lol girl I'm poor too but i've never gone after a married man. We really saw also how she loves the idealized version of gojo, and doesn't like when her picture perfect boyfriend is anything but. I can see how she desperately wants something perfect after dealing with her family but still #SeraGetTherapyChallenge

Love how we all camp waiting for your asks to open! Keep taking care of yourself first though, we love you ❤️

@dol-house said

i usually don't go after the other women when it comes to cheating after all she didn't swear to be loyal,but this bitch sera makes it so hard not to, like she seen the mc being extremely lenient with her and still have the nerve to play the victim. If it was me i would have walked out on Gojo the moment he and his dumb bitch tried to villainize me. idk maybe im speaking from the fact that its incredibly hard for me to make meaningful emotional relationships or its probably because i have no tolerance for toxic relationships.( mostly because almost all the women in my family had been in one and i have been a witness to my parents own abusiveness) but all in all im glad that the mc is getting her shit together and walking away from the stress. But the sadist in me is fucking giggling i truly hope that gojo beg on his knees for the mc to come back i just wish the worst for him right now i hope that sera bady traps him i hope that the mc divorces his ass and (she) get with someone that truly cares for her and makes her happy the poor girl needs a happy ending.

Anonymous said

Why am i a whore? First of all i was crying the whole time while reading this chapter and that’s really strange because of all chapters this one hurt me the least but it’s the one i cried about the most because it was just too emotional😭

ok back to the topic why am i a whore? I literally made a whole speech about how i am so disgusted about gojo and that i could never forgive him no matter what and how he must suffer but now i feel a little bad for him🧍🏻‍♀️ but i shouldn’t let my whore emotions take the best of me he must suffer like how his wife suffered or even more because i might feel a little bad of him but it's nothing compared to how much i feel bad for y/n especially after i found that she has heart condition 😭💔

@peachiekookie said

Hello Hello 💜 I just got done reading Chapter Nine of SN and tears were falling already! There’s a few things I’ve had in mind while reading this chapter.

The conversation between Sera and Gojo - I felt mixed emotions. Anger? Remorse? Anxious? Too much happening since Gojo finally confronted Sera about what’s going on but Sera was pulling another trick up her sleeve. Will she use the pregnancy as a bridge to success or failure? She’s making me angry but also curious because sometimes the second female leads somehow manage to royally screw everything up anyways so I’m just waiting for that specific chapter to come up. And the relationship she has with her family made me feel so bad honestly. I can’t imagine yelling at my parents but in her case, since the dad is acting that way, Sera should just kick him out if he’s not providing financially. The mom I see her as a housewife watching the kids while Sera’s working so that’s okay. If anything, she didn’t have to yell at her siblings for caring about their older sister 🥺

Second concern was the conversation between MC and Gojo. That was a tear jerker (but it won’t top Ch.9) and I just wish for happy MC 💜 Gojo has abused her verbally and mentally (physically too bc of the ring situation), so I don’t think there will be a happy ending between them..? Maybe so maybe not but as far as the story goes, Gojo has a lot to make up for this marriage. MC won’t file for a divorce maybe because of the business relationship but if she had the power to, then she would’ve ended it without thinking twice. Now that we know MC has CAD, there’s no doubt in my mind the divorce will come with a happy ending like “Gojo, I’m sorry for the divorce but just know that regardless of what happens between us, I’ll still wish for happiness for you. It may not be with me but I don’t want you to suffer as much as I did,” type of divorce, ya know? Like pull the trigger with her own happiness and it makes him suffer in the end? Too much lol? However the story goes I will still love it anyways!

Last, Toji and MC. IN MY OPINION(!), I’m not wanting Toji and MC to become a couple. At first when he came up to MC at the bar my heart did backflips and I was like “oh yes she gonna get drunk and have a liquid courage hookup with him!” But as the story progressed and their relationship to, I see their relationship becoming a Brother-Sister type of bond . . I see Toji caring for his baby sister and wanting nothing but happiness for her while MC leans towards him as a escape zone for comfort. The way Toji makes her smile without much effort makes my heart melt but I don’t feel butterflies like that. I don’t think MC looks at him in that sense and is most likely using him (well not ‘using’ him) as an asset to begin her career. Like it’s a friend looking out for a friend :) I’m sorry to everyone who supports the Toji x MC trope but I support their relationship whatever if is our Author plans in the end!

This whole story got me going nuts and this is my first time sending in an Ask to you! Thank you again for making Friday’s interesting since all my family sees from me are tears and a runny nose 🥲💜

Anonymous said

After that emotional ending in chapter 8, I went to listened to the SN song playlist to comfort my heart and soul. The song that stood out was Harry Styles’ Falling and I decided to watch the music video as well. Someone in the comment section interpreted the music video, saying, “And after drowning himself, he realizes how he can try to start again, even when it’s really hard to recover from what he’s been through. That’s why the beginning is actually the end, with the water in the room going down, he playing the wet piano again and resting.”

It made me think, what if SN’s open ending is like that? Very simply, Gojo and y/n do separate, the merging wouldn’t happen, Gojo would lose y/n and his chance at being CEO, and Sera seems like she wouldn’t stick with him through all of this (seeing that she only likes the idea of his perfect self). Gojo will essentially hit rock bottom and wallow in regret as y/n moves on. In my mind, y/n wouldn’t necessarily move on to another relationship but move on with her career and loving/caring for herself. At some point, Gojo will find a way to forgive himself and move on from the past as well; he’ll find it in himself to let go of the agony that has tormented him (i.e. reconcile with his mom). And maybe years later, a mentally healthy Gojo and a heart healthy y/n would cross paths again, and it’ll be an open ending to whether or not they end up together again. But ultimately, they both are at peace and have forgiven each other. I also like to think that even during the time they were apart, they continued to have love for each other.

@sourpatchdweebs said

Sheeesh as someone who’s been through an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship. And had a snapping point JUST LIKE THIS… This is hitting home so so much wow. The way you’ve written the emotions of wanting that familiarity of a relationship but feeling like you’re not good enough is spot on scarily so. You’re an amazing author I hope you know. Just like y/n here I had a snapping point where I went OFF on my abuser; except I was at a safe position to leave since he was leaving for the navy. It’s just so interesting to see a toxic relationship being portrayed at extreme accurately like this. I’m hoping to see y/n live the life she deservesss !!

@bbykita said

can we talk abt seras stankin ass and her home life? i get that she is frustrated and upset abt her dads drinking which caused the dinner not to be good but she didnt have to be as rude abt it as she was. also with the 10 million yen thing didnt it all go to waste on her fathers debt? so how do they have a nicer place now? in conclusion i hate that fucking stanking dumb ass btich. also gojo, your to late with the apologies baby.( putting all this aside, how r u? i hope your keeping up with your mental health, getting enough sleep, and overall taking care of yourself! )

hey guys i’m sorry i can’t respond to u all but i just thought it’d be nice to publish these asks for anyone who’s interested to see <33 thank u for the support and for leaving all these messages !!