#today i have no ic replies to offer only this long rambling about cersei and marg that i didn't proofread

[rosethroned]

throughout the series we see how cersei resents womanhood and the role westerosi society pushes on her as a result several times. she outright thinks she should've been born a man, or that she should be the one with a sword instead of jaime.

perhaps more importantly, she fails to see how her role as a woman could be of any value beyond using her beauty and sex to manipulate men around her to do her bidding. i think the battle of the blackwater has an exchange that makes it pretty blatant:

"Jaime told me once that he only feels truly alive in battle and in bed." She lifted her cup and took a long swallow. Her salad was untouched. "I would sooner face any number of swords than sit helpless like this, pretending to enjoy the company of this flock of frightened hens."

she knows what she has to do and she resents it, and she doesn't even see the value in the women themselves beyond what they mean to the men around them. given power later on, cersei emulates the men who held power over her. she doesn't seem to understand there is a form of power to be wielded in the spheres she has to play a role as queen.

margaery presents a contrast to that. where cersei chafes against femininity, she leans hard on it as a form of power. in one of her very first scenes (seen from the perspective of someone who didn't know her and to who margaery would want to project a certain image), it's her sweet and soft behavior that is noted.

King Renly looked surprised. "Lady Catelyn? We are most pleased." He turned to his young queen. "Margaery my sweet, this is the Lady Catelyn Stark of Winterfell." "You are most welcome here, Lady Stark," the girl said, all soft courtesy. "I am sorry for your loss."

the same goes for sansa, when they meet, and is generally true for how she's portrayed (except cersei is being a hater every time she's mentioned in her povs). margaery doesn't want to seem dangerous; she's energic and can be rather assertive when it suits her (she's very direct about sansa marrying willas, to the point of calling her sister after a couple days; she can definitely press the matters she wishes to press very directly), but she's also kind and sweet and soft. she leans on these qualities that westerosi society deems womanly, and she endears herself to others through them. this includes the way she is perceived by the commonfolk.

 Such a restless girl, our little queen. She seldom let more than three days pass without going off for a ride. Some days they would ride along the Rosby road to hunt for shells and eat beside the sea. Other times she would take her entourage across the river for an afternoon of hawking. The little queen was fond of going out on boats as well, sailing up and down the Blackwater Rush to no particular purpose. When she was feeling pious she would leave the castle to pray at Baelor's Sept. She gave her custom to a dozen different seamstresses, was well-known amongst the city's goldsmiths, and had even been known to visit the fish market by the Mud Gate for a look at the day's catch. Wherever she went, the smallfolk fawned on her, and Lady Margaery did all she could to fan their ardor. She was forever giving alms to beggars, buying hot pies off bakers' carts, and reining up to speak to common tradesmen.

she's active, friendly, sweet, kind, approachable. cersei doesn't seem to notice it, but this perceived restlessness is about how she exerts her power. women aren't expected to rule in the sense of sitting on the throne (or even the council) or making decisions. so she uses the spheres where women are allowed to (or welcomed to) act to make herself powerful.

she's out and about with her ladies (which might be a group comprised mostly of tyrell adjacent ladies, but is also useful to influence ladies at court. if they have such visibility, wouldn't it grow to be prestigious to be invited to be part of the queen's entourage?), she shows herself to be pious (and leaves the castle to pray at the same sept commonfolk can go to!), she interacts with crafters and traders (which is yet another way to bring her closer to them; not the individuals alone, but everyone that'll hear about the little queen treating them as, you know, people who matter instead of pretending they don't exist). a baker will remember that the queen bought from him and he'll talk about it. a beggar will remember her kindness. the commonfolk will take note of her presence as someone who listens and smiles and gives them her patronage.

the lannisters neglect it, but there is power in having the love of common people, and margaery ensures she has that on her side. and later on, when she's imprisoned by the faith, there's people shouting for her to be released, because she endeared herself to the people. the high sparrow couldn't get rid of her without causing a commotion, even should he want to. and that's just the tiniest example off of the top of my head.

she works similarly with nobility. margaery is pleasant and kind and considerate (the kettlebacks mistake it for her showing some sort of romantic/sexual interest, but giving them attention or defending them when other people tease is just what she'd do for anyone. it makes people like her! and people liking her is crucial to how she operates!). she tries to make people feel important and cared for because that in turn makes people either more pliable or more blind to her thorns.

margaery is not all sweetness; far from it. i personally don't think she's even that far from having a temper similar to loras, except he was socialized in a way that did not curb it, while she learned to bite back the anger and keep her cool because a lady must be pleasant at all times (the venom is just stored for later, really). but she doesn't resent having to pretend she is. she's great at it. femininity is her weapon to seem harmless and to influence others, without truly having to use her body (flirting is something else! there is influence in that, too, and she's not ignorant to it, but margaery only ever keeps things to teasing and empty promises of what could be.) instead of chafing against its constraints, she bends them to better suit her, unlike cersei.