#tochiro's hand would definitely be as small as mine

[mikurulucky]

Made a screencap edit of me and my f/o because why not? ^w^

[talesofzero]

Daiba/Yama #7, Bulge/Zero #12, Zero/Wataru(???!?!?!?!?!) #19

Modern AU; Already did the other two, but here’s Bulge/Zero for 12 - Love Bite. Featuring Harlock having a bad time. It’s all very silly.

Mildly inappropriate warning

~1600 words

I must have been cursed. After several unlucky roundsof Rock, Paper, Scissors, I was slapped with the designated driver position forthe night. As if things weren’t bad enough already, everyone got wasted. Unusuallywasted.

I had no proof that anything had been spiked, but Zerocould hold his alcohol better than anyone I knew, and he was laughing with hischeek against our table after just a few drinks. Even when Zero did get drunk,he was always all moody about it. Seeing him giggling like a little kid made mewonder if someone had slipped something in my water too.

Bulge, usually our designated driver, never drankmuch. Said he didn’t like to get drunk, but he was collapsed against Zero’s sidecackling about whatever stupid thing had riled the two of them up.

Everyone was having a good time, sure. I just didn’ttrust the place. After twenty minutes of coaxing, begging, bribing, anddragging, I got them all back to the car. At each apartment stop, I made surethey made it through their door alright after making them promise they’d neverhave me as a designated driver again. Not like they’d remember.

Bulge and Zero’s shared apartment was last, theclosest to mine and Tochiro’s and furthest from the bar I didn’t think I’d begoing back to. Their heads were knocked together in the backseat, lookingasleep except for the occasional murmur from one of them.

“Alright, come on,” I called back as I parked by theircars. “Let’s get you useless drunks inside.”

The car’s overhead light kicked on as I opened mydoor, and I found them squinting as I popped their door open for them. Theyboth wore pouts but complied when I grabbed them by the arm and dragged theminto the parking lot.

“Are you staying the night, Harlock?” Bulge asked in asweet, sleepy slur of a voice as though dripping with honey. He got all sappyand affectionate when drunk.

I expected Zero to object, but he was too busy tryingto find where he put his front door key in his million coat pockets.

“I’m not staying,” I said. “I’m just dropping you off.There’s only so much being around drunk people I can stand without being drunkmyself.”

“Sorry,” Bulge said like a kicked puppy. “Do you wantsome food or something? I’m real sorry. You were so helpful.”

I was starting to see why he didn’t like to get drunkoften. “It’s fine,” I said. “Let’s just get you both inside.”

Zero continued fumbling for his keys even as wereached the door, until I was tapping my foot and sighing. Before I could offerto just kick the door in, Bulge shoved his hand into one of the coat’s lowerpockets with a slurred, “Babe, you always put it in the same pocket.”

Zero looked as startled as I did, though he may havebeen more shocked by the awkward placement of Bulge’s grabby hand. I wasconcerned with Bulge calling him babe. Bulge didn’t call anyone babe, not hisoccasional dates, not any hapless baby animals, and especially not hisroommate.

I hoped neither of them would remember this in themorning because I was already hurting knowing that I would. It was all tooweird.

I snatched the keys from Bulge, knowing how long we’dbe there if I let them try to put the key in the lock. Once I had the dooropen, I turned on the lights for them and made sure there weren’t any strayshoes on the floor they could trip over. There weren’t, of course. Bulge andZero were both too neat for that. They both looked like something was crawling aroundon them when they visited my apartment. Bulge was too polite to comment, butZero always said, “Clean your goddamn house, Harlock.”

I tried to hang on the door and let them stumble pastme into the apartment, but Bulge pushed me farther in. “You should eatsomething,” he said. “Or get a drink. We have lots of things.”

If by “lots of things,” he meant water, then they suredid.

He seemed so anxious about it that I figured I wouldhave to take some crackers and a water bottle to make him happy. With a sigh, Iclosed the door behind me, muttering, “Fine-fine.”

Bulge’s eyes lit up as though it were his birthday,and I turned into their small kitchen area. I swear, I was in there for tenseconds tops. I thought I heard something like one of them stubbing their toeagainst the couch, but I sure as hell was not prepared to come back to themmaking out on the couch.

Something had definitely been slipped into my water.

For a minute, I could only stare, my whole body lockedup against me. It looked like Zero had shoved Bulge over the armrest, boththeir knees resting on it. Bulge had his arms locked around Zero’s back, hisfingers digging into that damn coat. Zero hands were latched on Bulge’ssquirming hips, and damn the two of them were going at it. Even when my bodystill wouldn’t move, my eyes flicked away on their own as my mind whirled.

I felt the need to stop them, but I would have muchpreferred just running out the door and leaving them to their devices. Ifsomething had been slipped into their drinks, this was not good. They wouldn’trealize what they were doing. Unless they did? Maybe they did this all the time.I didn’t know. They could have been fuck buddies. Neither of them were thetypes to go around advertising it.

But if that weren’t true, I had to pry them apartsomehow. And then what if they just climbed back on top of each other as soonas I left? Dammit, I was not staying here all night playing chastity belt.

I opened my mouth to say something. I hadn’t plannedout whatever it was, but when Zero’s hand shoved into Bulge’s pants, my voice justcame out as a yell.

Sure didn’t stop them. Bulge just moaned over me. Heactually moaned. Bulge. Oh my god. He was so loud and unrestrained, they weregoing to wake the damn neighbors.

When they broke away gasping for air, their faces allflushed – goddamn, I needed a drink – I finally kicked my legs into motion. Myhand outstretched, I was ready to put a stop to these useless, drunk,starting-to-get-me-grossly-turned-on idiots.

But Bulge did that for me. Sweet, stupid, Bulge.Something got ahold of him – probably Zero’s hand. He leaned up and bit downhard on the side of Zero’s neck. Zero yelped and rolled off of Bulge, hittingthe floor with a thunk.

“Oh thank god,” I said through a wheeze.

Zero had his hand on his neck, his brows furrowed ashe stared up at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry!” Bulge howled, held up on one arm as helooked to Zero in horror. “Did I bite too hard? I thought you liked biting! I’msorry!”

I blinked. Bulge hadn’t done that intentionally. “Idon’t know what I expected,” I muttered, rubbing a hand across my face.

When Zero pulled his hand back to look, his palm was coveredwith blood like a fresh coat of red paint. Bulge broke into a yell and a dozenscreamed apologies.

If the neighbors weren’talready awake, they sure as hell were up now.

I woke with a splitting headache which drowned out theache in my back. After a few minutes of trying to pull my eyes open, I was ableto squint enough to realize I’d slept on the couch. For some reason, Harlockwas curled up on the recliner across the room. The bottle of water on the floornear him entranced me too much to care, and I rolled off the couch to dragmyself toward it.

A quiet “oof,” reached my ears as my knee landed onsomething that wasn’t the floor. Looking down, I found Zero, his expressionscrewed up with pain and his hand against his head.

“Sorry,” I mumbled in a hoarse voice that must havebeen mine, and I pulled myself off of him.

“S’okay,” he answered, his eyelids heavy. As heyawned, I noticed a huge adhesive bandage slapped against his neck, the kindusually reserved for kids who scraped their knees. Our first aid kit sat openon the floor nearby.

“We must have done something stupid,” I said.

“Yes,” a voice hissed behind me.

I turned to find Harlock glaring from his seat, thoughhe didn’t look all that threatening with how he’d curled up. He reminded me ofa puffed-up cat.

“I am never, nevergoing to be a designated driver for you two again,” he said.

“What happened?” Zero asked as I padded over on allfours to the water bottle.

When I looked up at Harlock’s silence, I found himredder than Zero’s favorite sweater. He couldn’t look at either of us.

Oh.

I looked at Zero, who was trying to hide his smile ashe looked back to me.

“And you didn’t even join in?” Zero asked.

I wished he wouldn’t taunt Harlock like that. The poorguy looked close to a heart attack. “I’m leaving,” he said like the wind hadbeen knocked out of him.

“At least take some food or water before you go,” Icalled as he rushed to the door.

He just gave a shortscream and slammed it behind him.