#tobisays

[thelittleamethystcat]

Alright so cause I’m hot of the press of A:EG I’ve got some thoughts on Steven motherfucking Rogers. 

a) Yes. His ending was disappointing. It was reductionistic for him as a character and only emotionally satisfying if you’re maybe under the age of ten. If you want emotional complexity in your character arc resolution, sorry charlie, it’s not to be found here. 

b) I’m okay with it. Why am I okay with it? Because I’m gonna be real, all emotional complexity and true, deep, potent character development for Steve Rogers was laid softly to rest after the Winter Soldier. I say this as someone who loves Steve with my entire heart as soul, but his complexity and persuasion died the moment Marvel picked up on the fact that Stucky was gaining a popular following and no-homo’d him directly back into the forties (by the end of Endgame, quite literally) The Steve I love was already gone. He had a good two movie run and that was enough to carry me though even if I was only going to be sustained by snippets and suggestions of the character I would die for. 

c) All that being said, I’m okay with Steve’s ending because he’s still alive. Because they could have taken Steve’s heartbreaking, self-sacrificing life and culminated his story with one more sad, hollow sacrifice that would finally take the character I loved away with no emotional fulfillment. But because we get this little gift- the little bit of wiggle room- I can continue doing with Steve’s story what I’ve been doing since the winter soldier: filling in the gaps the way Steve would be proud to have them filled in. It’s not much. it’s a little hollow- it’s a little “dissapointed-not-surprised,” but if I want to bend the rules of time travel a little bit and imagine that Steve went back and had his dance with Peggy and then went on to raise hell fighting for what was right in a time when a lot was wrong, I can do that. I can believe he saved Bucky and spent his life with him. I can imagine he and Bucky and Peggy lived in happy, healthy polyamory if that’s what I’m in the mood to entertain. Even beyond the past, I can imagine Steve grocery shopping in the background of Sam and Bucky’s co-adventures, and clipping in to their coms to make shitty jokes to them while they’re in the middle of battles. I can still do that because Steve’s still alive. Because I don’t have to say “what if he wasn’t dead.” I can just say what if he did whatever the hell he wanted? 

Which is really what Steve deserves.

[radtricksandpixiesticks-blog]

You Don't Have To Be Anything To Be Cute

You guys I hate the idea that you need to be a certain anything to be cute like-

my Senpai and I, we stay up until I can't stand it anymore (because I go to school and she doesn't) and and its like

I'm sitting on my side of the phone; my eyes are all tired and I'm wearing an old ratty t-shirt whose origin I forget for jamas, nuzzling my pillow with messy braids, stupid glasses and a slightly swollen ear with a new bar in it.

she's sitting on her side of the phone, still in her jeans and bra and shirt and all of her many knives, on her old squished checkered couch, flopped out and still tense and paranoid at the same time, with crazy, fluffy, curly hair that is a bewildering mix of green, blonde, white, blue, and red with freckles and a slightly angry frown.

I'm tired so I'm mumbling and being demanding, making her promise things she doesn't really have to,telling her I love her and that she's great and pretty with all of my brash bi-ness. I inform her in all seriousness that I am awful and that the world is ending and "boats" and "cheerleaders"

She's not tired yet, too hyped up on her constant cup of coffee, but she's still kind of whispers and talks to me sweetly in this special little tone that I hate in everyone's voice but hers. She tells me in all of her firm asexual glory that I'm very cute.

Every night when I get too sleepy and go too quiet she counts. "That's one, Tobi." "Dude, that's two." And when she gets to three, she tells me sternly, but still nicely, that it's time for bed. I whine a little and I know if I press hard enough, I can talk her out of making me sleep, but I usually don't.

I sulk and mumble "fiiiiine."

She'll ask me if I want a lullaby.

I'll always say yes.

And she'll sing, awkwardly and in some cases, kind of badly, weaving her way on and off key, but it doesn't matter, because she always sings a special song, one that she and I both know and love and cherish. It makes me happy and sleepy.

And then she'll say in her slightly bad and ridiculously charming impression of a British accent that I love so much . "I love you and I miss you. Goodnight for now and good morning for when it comes. I love you princess. Bye bye. Bye." There's almost always three byes. Then, when I wake up, I'll hate myself for not staying up longer, to keep her company until she falls asleep at like 6 AM. But it's okay, because I know we'll talk again that night. We always do, every night, even though we live two towns apart and we see each other every weekend and any week day we can manage.

We're fucking adorable I think. We're not "kawaii kawaii", we're not distressed in major emotional trauma, our lives are not ending, and we are not in love.

We're just two people who love each other more than we love ourselves or anything else.

And we're still cute I think.

Or at least..she is. ;)

[thelittleamethystcat]

So after thinking on it for a hot minute, I know why Steve's ending didnt cause me the frustration and anger and grief that it might have (and has rightfully given a lot of Steve fans) and please bear in mind, this thought is meant to inform, not excuse the descisions.

It was the only way Steve was getting out alive

In the hands of creators with more vision for emotional complexity and less motive on churning out the next big money manker, there would have been HUNDREDS of options for out Steve's storyline. In any of these story lines, Steve could have continued moving forward with his life instead of litterally backwards, giving his fans the emotional satisfaction they wanted from his arc.

Marvels problem is that a character cant sleep till they're dead.

They have no concept of hanging up a sword. They can't let characters retire or move on because they would always feel pressure to pull them back in to the next big fight and with contract constraints that wasnt an option for RDJ or Chris. The solution? One in the grave and one with a foot already in it. Without killing Steve this was as close as they could get to a happy ending.

It's sad. It's cheap, and it shows a fatal lack of understanding of the character they've been building for years, but it was the only way Steve was coming out alive.

Maybe as time goes on, we'll get new creatives with vision and empathy who can know when to let a character rest but as long as we have marvel we can know that the characters we love will be there to be broken down further and further until eventually they're in the ground too.

[thelittleamethystcat]

Theres something so goddamn spiritual about being outside at night even if that's just sitting on a porch or balcony. Even if you're listening to cars instead of crickets.

[thelittleamethystcat]

Had to be a little indulgent with my coffee today 🥰☕🌱

[thelittleamethystcat]

I’m never going to believe that kindness doesn’t take you places ever again

I just met with my boss for the first time for a brand new job. I’m fresh out of college, I have next to no experience in the field, and I wasn’t the only applicant for this position. By all accounts, the numbers don’t add up, but when I met with my supervisor today she told me that one thing had put me ahead.

Compassion.

I was being hired to lighten the load for an employee who was ill, and I was the candidate who’d responded to that with compassion instead of being opportunistic. It gives me a good feeling about this job, and a little bit about the world too. Kindness and compassion don’t always stack up against the ways the world can be nasty, but they’re qualities always worth exercising. 

[thelittleamethystcat]

Just cause it's a new year doesn't mean the shitty things you did last year disappear, SUSAN

[thelittleamethystcat]

So I just finished a book illustration job for a guy who works in my office today and when he turned to the page with the character representing his wife he gave this tiny little gasp of "Sunshine!" And if that's not goals idk what is

[thelittleamethystcat]

Two more days!! 🐈🐈🐈

[thelittleamethystcat]

I love his soulful teddy bear eyes

[thelittleamethystcat]

Fun fact: 'four hours of sleep' is a physical and spiritual sensation and its the only one I have

[thelittleamethystcat]

I'm an adult

Which means I deffo didnt buy 2 pounds of discount oatmeal cookies to eat for dinner

[thelittleamethystcat]

It was gonna be a rough day but no day I get to see this angel could be bad

[thelittleamethystcat]

So I was gonna get dressed up and do my hair and makeup for Halloween but instead my alarm didnt go off and I ended up wearing my shirt backwards and being late to class

[thelittleamethystcat]

Jesus god im going to put my ass on the line at work tomorrow for a student I've never even met gimme some good karma universe

[thelittleamethystcat]

Ya girl's twenty one! 🎁🎂🎉🎈