#to transition is to disembowel yourself so beautifully that even god would tongue your taint if he could

[gwendolyn-of-loxley]

Transfemininity is lycanthropy.

The snapping of bones. The tearing of skin. The annihilation of the self, replaced by something so intoxicating that your younger self and all your ancestors would vomit at the sight of. The realizing of the true self, the pure jubilation of being a freak. A hateful thing.

And all the while the girl who turned you holds your face in her hands and talks about how hot you are and how much she wants to lick your heart and chew your ribs.

Being transfeminine is being a werewolf. A primal, ravenous beast thing that has teeth too sharp and too yellow to ever let your smile be treasured by the dumb shit-covered villagers who call for the Huntsman. Your outstretched hands for your sister's new baby are clamped in irons for having claws so sharp that they will surely destroy the next generation's fragile identity. Your fur is ugly and your face is that not of a trainable puppy but of an undomesticated wild animal. You stink and you can't be trusted to dress yourself.

All of it, every single fear, every single horror, is 100% true. And you love it, because it finally means you can escape the desire to die in order to stop being something that you aren't.

I love being a monster.