#to someone who is very clearly finally and SO deservedly in that spot i'd love to be in is like. wow i really AM miserable huh
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#really gotta go to bed but i realized why i do still relate to fine line more and why it still remains my number 1 harry album#(although harry's house is a very close second don't get me wrong ok it has made me very tender and soft on this day)#and i know i said why earlier but i'm gonna add onto that and that is because: i am unhappy! i am miserable and unaccomplished !!#how can i relate to domestic bliss and self acceptance and love in many different forms when i'm so unhappy like this shit doesn't add up!#not to say fine line is at all about Misery but it is about the in between you know like finding your footing and reflecting on#yourself and your relationship and assessing the good and hard times alike etc etc like we know what it's about#and i feel as if i'm constantly stuck in the in between yk like a wip that just gets started over and over again the second it gets close t#*to being completed so little to no progress is actually being made#(like. all my actual attempts at artwork lmao)#and i want nothing more to be in that happy contented finally comfortable and at peace w myself and (nonexistent) relationship#period in my life but alas i have no money i hate my job i can't finish any piece of art i start for shit because i have awful imposter#syndrome and i am still loveless living with my parents who i am convinced do not like me very much!#i just don't know what to do anymore because i want to get just that much closer to finding a spot of happiness/contentment in my life#and i don't know if or when that'll happen anymore and i've been festering in this mindset for awhile not but sitting down and listening#to someone who is very clearly finally and SO deservedly in that spot i'd love to be in is like. wow i really AM miserable huh#anyway. perhaps i'm just hormonal and feeling a little too tender but perhaps i'm also onto something. not sure yet but def not feeling#great so ! i must sleep now as i have to be up at 4am#sorry for the emo post i'll probably delete it later and good night#alex talks
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