#to say nothing of the random screws and bolts on Cloud's singular pauldron

[sparrowsabre7]

Shinra armourer: OK so our elite team of warriors for our new SOLDIER program, what should we outfit them with? I expect they will be largely engaging in close quarters combat so let's start with pauldrons at minimum, yes? What else were you thinking?

Shinra exec, drunk off his ass: Give them woollen sweater vests and an unholy union of cargo shorts and parachute pants then pour the rest of the budget into hair gel.