#to process pls god why are you giving me your hardest battles

[confessiononadancefloor]

i think i might be entering a triangle dyke situationship....

[jazzforthecaptain]

hi I know you’ve just finished field work so pls dont take this the wrong way kay, I'm only asking out of love. Do you have any sastiel fics planned for the future? Regardless of your answer to that, tell me about your favorite tropes or just like, general Stuff, when it comes to both writing and reading those two together. Everyone’s got different tastes right & i think is always fun to see people explaining (or trying to explain) why they're into certain stuff

Oh heck yes I have more sastiel I want to write, don’t you worry.

I want to try some canon!verse scenes. I’ve spent a lot of time writing Castiel, but didn’t study Sam’s character closely until I launched off on the first draft of Field Work. That story was posted this year, but the process of finishing and editing it was about two years’ worth of work.

If there’s a story concept or an AU you’d really like to see me tackle, I’m all ears! Just let me know. After all, Field Work came from a random request on the sastiel tag - I saw it, and in a few minutes the scenes from the first chapter were in my head.

This ask tickled me so much, because I would love to talk about sastiel but I’m better at answering questions than trying to write an organized Ship Manifesto. So now I have a relatively narrow avenue of attack!

That said? I’m still gonna write paragraphs.

I’m busily working my way through the sastiel available on ao3, but I can tell you right now that I’m always a slut for Castiel reassuring Sam that he’s Worthy and Lovable and A Good Person (and for Sam to do the same for Cas). I’m also a big, BIG fan of anytime Castiel gets to talk to Sam about the Big Bad Shit that’s happened in a way that gives them both relief and bonds them, if not absolution (because sometimes absolution just… well… isn’t appropriate or possible). Castiel getting to apologize/explain himself for the choices he made that negatively impacted Sam, and vice versa, and each discovering that they’re still loved and valued by the other because they have a similar tendency to judge themselves more harshly, and fail to forgive themselves, while forgiving their loved ones even when the consequences of poor choices were horrific. Good God these two need a confidante and a champion (and a mitigating voice), and I love it when they find it in one another.

Also, it should be noted, I prefer to take my Castiel the way I take my coffee; that is to say hot, strong, and bitter af. I love it when Castiel is characterized as the soldier he is, with real doubts about the chain of command he came from and a massive distrust of authority. I love it when his battle scars are as relevant to who he is as Sam’s are to him. I love it when Castiel is a sarcastic shit who struggles to take orders even if they came straight from the Big Man himself. And I love it when Sam is internally rage-y, fighting his own temper and his own demons, when he’s drowning in self-loathing, when he takes zero shit, when he questions Castiel and comes back at him and stands up for himself (and others). Trust is slow coming between a couple paranoid war vets with PTSD and a Complicated History so fraught with lies and broken promises you could write a soap opera on it. And yet. Both of these guys are the grand fucking champions of giving people second chances and letting past offenses go - I think they need each other. To help one another heal. To remind each other that they’re not monsters. To remind each other that there are good goddamned reasons to keep on keepin’ on even when the skeletons in their respective closets are dancing the fucking samba. Being a good man isn’t something you’re born as. It’s not something you lose with a single mistake. Being a good man means taking responsibility for and the consequences of your actions, actively caring, and trying hard not to repeat past mistakes - and those are things they both already do. Red_River’s story “Light Up the Sky” has a fantastic quote from Castiel that I think succinctly sums this up:

“You are no monster, Sam Winchester,” Castiel told him, the words less than a whisper.  “You are not the best man I have ever known, but you try the hardest to be.” 

So, spiraling off into AU territory, there’s a couple things I really like in that regard. I’m a sucker for Magical!Sam (thank @awabubbles!), and she’s got a story series started where White Magic Sam accidentally summons a badly wounded Soldier of God Castiel (have I mentioned I love Soldier of God Cas? Because I so fucking do, omg). Just, you know, think about Sam tending his hothouse full of rare plants while Castiel (who isn’t healing as fast as he expects to be healing, dammit) follows him around like an irritated cat. Don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t touch me, wait don’t leave my sight dammit don’t touch me, wait okay rub my ears while I shove my face into your lilies.

Insert deflowering joke here.

I also adore non-paranormal contemporary romances (Castiel is a firefighter responding to a minor fire in Sam’s apartment building, aaaaand go~), high fantasy sword and sorcery (especially if it involves Castiel as a knight, have I mentioned I like soldier Cas? I have, haven’t I?), historical romances, and I hear there’s some excellent merfolk fiction but I haven’t as yet gotten to it. To be honest, I’ll give anything a fair shake at this point. I’m still discovering the fanfiction that’s out there, so in six months Idk, I could be begging for locked-room mysteries or something.

The thing I love the most about sastiel is how supportive the fandom is. Everyone is so encouraging about everyone else’s work - if you wanna write a thing there’s always someone else like ‘YEAH! Do the thing!’ And y’all show the fuck up. I cannot begin to express how much it meant that people were reading what I wrote and telling me about it. It’s renewed my commitment to leave feedback on works as well, because I want to pay it forward.

Sure, there are things I’m definitely not interested in reading that are out there in the sastiel tag, but I’m not here to throw down a list of Stuff That Annoys Me - I’d rather talk about the stuff I love. That seems to be the modus operandi of the community as a whole, and that gives me so much life. I hope it never changes.

Don’t worry - I’m slow as fuck but I’m not going anywhere.