#to no longer be the inaccessible inhuman sculpture behind the barrier myself. the object on display that should be at your feet instead | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

skunkes · 13 hours ago

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on one hand the current state of internal and external mindsets means i dont think ill ever be in a relationship and realistically speaking, thats truly fine. On the other hand if i dont get to plunge my hands into a man's abdominal cavity and crawl in soon i may die. Right now or I'll die.

#talkys #i both enjoy my alone time too much and also turn into less of myself to be in a likely to fail impossible to even find relationship #but then also on the other other hand ive gone too long without it to start doing things casually. i cant do things casually.#but i neeeeeeeeeed to crawl into someone's body so badly to pull and shape and mold to unhook the stanchion belt and climb the sculpture #to no longer be the inaccessible inhuman sculpture behind the barrier myself. the object on display that should be at your feet instead #tearing my hair out but it will continue of course...it has already been a few years of ''even looking at a photo or drawing of #a man leaves me prone to going into a frenzy because I should be there pounding at his ribcage demanding to be let inside!!!!!!!!#<- saying all this while being a hermit all my life knowing if i somehow did get the chance itd be the most embarrassing thing ever #its so humiliating to Want. and yet.#ugh im like a cultist with nothing in the picture frame hanging on the shrine wall #excessive devotion to hypothetical Man who takes many forms but never a physical one + maybe thags for the best #but i still want it. i need a target to strike with my devotion and all encompassing worship #a target divine in their humanness. i qill never be either of these so i need a taste of it in somebody else #does anyone need a dog

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