#to me‚ going to that school in new mexico would be worth all the student loan debt but my parents say otherwise

[brothersonahotelbed]

every day i am more and more tempted to send in an application to this 4-year college in new mexico that is my ideal school bc i want the thrill of being on my own for once and for something drastic to change in my life (positive), but then my parents are like 'ohh you Have to go to community college bc it's cheaper, do you Want to be in debt till you're 30 trying to pay off your student loans??' and i'm like. well you got me there.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Here's some good people I know. It got a little bit long, but they're just great, and I love them, so... it's worth all the words, in my opinion.

I live on a college campus year-round and can't afford a lot of things because I am poor, so I go to the food pantry that's on campus about once a week. The lady who works there is very nice, and I love her very much. She always asks how I'm doing, and we have a chat about the latest things that have happened on and off campus. She's always genuinely happy to see me, and it's good to know she cares about me and other students.

I have a friend who lives in the same building as me, but on the next floor down, and he's just wonderful. Such a fantastic human being in general. I know I can always talk to him or even cry on his shoulder, and he's told me his door is always open for me. I'm allowed to come over and just hang out in his apartment anytime. He's a good cook and likes to make Japanese food and share it with me when I visit.

One of my aunts is a pilot, and she likes to get things for me. Once, she got this really, really good hot chocolate from Mexico and let me try it. This past week she sent me a care package with a rice cooker, my favorite candy, my favorite ramen, a snack she remembered I like, and a new snack that's super tasty.

And of course, there's my Beloved. She's just something else. She just got her pre-med studies done, and she's planning to be a cardiologist once she's through with med school. I think she wants to be a pediatric cardiologist, but I don't remember. She's been such a wonderful source of encouragement for the past couple of years, a steady, calm presence to constant with my turbulent anxiety. She gives the best hugs, and fantastic advice. She carries a first aid kit on her all the time, just in case. She works as a lifeguard at her university. She volunteers as a TA because she likes cardio phys that much. I just love her so much, she's the most important companion in my life, and I would throw hands for her because anyone who's rude to her is being rude to the nicest person alive.

It’s so great to hear about people looking out for each other ❤️ Thank you for sharing ❤️

[healthyhorns]

Counseling and Mental Health Center Announces Leadership Transition

In January 2023, Dr. Chris Brownson was named Associate Vice President for Health and Well-being. With this shift, the Counseling and Mental Health Center named Dr. Marla Craig as Executive Director and Dr. Melissa Eshelman as Senior Associate Director.

After serving as Clinical Director since 2007, Dr. Marla Craig has now transitioned to the Counseling and Mental Health Center Executive Director. Craig, who is a first-generation college student, studied psychology and criminology at The University of New Mexico.

After graduating, she went on to graduate school at Washington State University and then transferred to the University of Texas at Austin where she received her master’s degree in sociology with an emphasis on criminology and juvenile delinquency. As Craig worked to receive her master’s degree at UT, she decided that she ultimately wanted to study psychology instead of sociology.

After receiving her master’s degree at UT Austin, Craig was accepted to Texas A&M University where she earned her doctorate in counseling psychology. She then returned to UT Austin as a psychology intern at the Counseling and Mental Health Center and did an additional year of post-doctoral work to accumulate the hours toward her psychology licensure.

She then moved to St. Edward’s University where she worked in their counseling center doing individual and group counseling. She also worked with the college migrant program, taught undergraduate and graduate courses, and was the director of outreach.

In December of 2007, Craig came back to UT to continue her career at the Counseling and Mental Health Center as Clinical Director, a role she held for 15 years.

“I knew my background had set me up for success in the clinical director role,” Craig said. “I was in a place where I was hesitant to begin, but I knew that it was going to be worth it and I would be doing the work I had always wanted to do."

In Craig’s new role, she said she is excited about her focus on innovation.

“I like to think through a lens of creativity,” Craig said. “I ask myself ‘what do our students need and how can we provide that service and ultimately access to that service?’ I want to do whatever I can to provide that safe space, even if it isn’t in a traditional way.’”

Craig said she is passionate about making sure students have a counseling outlet, even if they do not come to the CMHC.

“We have already been providing services to students through our Counselors in Academic Residence (CARE) program where they can get the things they need out on campus,” Craig said. “We have so many people doing crucial work with our students: our Diversity and Counseling and Outreach Specialists (DCOS) who provide counseling, support, and outreach for student populations with marginalized and underrepresented identities, the Longhorn Wellness Center with their prevention strategies and efforts, and our Peer Education program and Longhorns SHARE program, where students are able to work directly with their peers. These are the things I hope we can continue to grow.”

Craig explained that when she thinks about goals for the future and the impact she wants to have in her new role, she thinks of what future students will need most.

“When I look to the future and think about what it is that we will need in the next five to ten years, I think of the students that are in middle school and high school right now,” Craig said. “I am always thinking about what they will be needing by the time they get here.”

Craig also expressed her gratitude for the opportunity she has been given.

“I really appreciate the confidence and trust that has been put on me to make this transition as smooth as possible,” Craig said. “That confidence and the support from Dr. Lilly, Dr. Brownson, all my colleagues and the people on our team means a lot to me. Without significant people in my life, I wouldn't be where I am today. I can’t wait to see what we can accomplish together.”

Dr. Melissa Eshelman has now transitioned from Associate Director for Psychiatric Services to Counseling and Mental Health Center Senior Associate Director & Chief Psychiatrist.

Eshelman is a Latina, first-generation college student and received her undergraduate degree in microbiology from Texas A&M University. From there she went on to medical school at UT Southwestern and pursued completing her residency in psychiatry in Los Angeles, California, and ultimately finished with the completion of a fellowship in child and adolescent psychiatry and a fellowship in forensic psychiatry.

Eshelman then landed in Portland, Oregon where she worked for 14 years for the Providence Medical System as a medical director for a crisis triage center, provided treatment for adolescents and adults with psychiatric and eating disorders. She also worked in an emergency psychiatry setting, and was an in-patient child psychiatrist. Eshelman joined the CMHC staff in 2009.

“I love working with college students,” Eshelman said. “I still see new patients and established patients, and it brings me such joy to be able to make a difference in their lives and assist them with their mental health challenges so that they can go on and do wonderful things in the world.”

Eshelman said working with Craig has been an honor and she is excited to see what the future will bring for them in their new roles.

“We can have visits with students, but I want to truly be able to reach them,” Eshelman said. “I want to see what else we can do. I am so proud that CMHC has expanded and includes new things to help students in different ways, and I am excited to watch that grow and hope we can continue to add to that.”

Dr. Chris Brownson will still play an integral role in CMHC as he transitions from Director to Associate Vice President for Health and Well-being.

“I am grateful to Dr. Lilly for constructing this portfolio of units centered around health and well-being,” Brownson said. “Although CMHC, RecSports, and UHS have collaborated on different projects together over many years, I have already seen a renewed energy and more intentional effort on working together for student well-being.”

Brownson said he is eager to ensure that these coordinated efforts are infusing expertise into all of the programs and services these units provide, expanding the impact for the benefit of students’ health and well-being.

“I am excited about the expanded opportunities to infuse movement, exercise, and community into the programs and services offered by Healthyhorns,” Brownson said. “RecSports offers amazing opportunities that directly impact the health and well-being of our students, and making them easier to access for the patients and clients of Healthyhorns will help them more effectively achieve their health and mental health goals.”

Brownson expressed his excitement for this new era.

"I couldn’t be more excited for CMHC to be under Marla and Melissa’s leadership,” Brownson said. “Both have dedicated their careers to college student mental health, and there is no one more capable of leading a large and complex organization like CMHC.”

-Erin Garcia, Healthyhorns Outreach and Social Media Coordinator

[pineslycan]

Theory About Stanley Pines in his Twenties

When rewatching “A Tale of Two Stans” I simply couldn’t get over the peso in Stan’s pocket and lack of information thereof why it’s there. We already know he can speak fluent Spanish, so what on Earth was he doing in Mexico? Stan’s number one goal is stated, “to get rich” so why is he in Mexico? I have a plausible answer.

The majority of crime in Mexico, given that Gravity Falls refers to real places a lot, is assault and theft. Now, I’m a betting canine, and I’m going to guess that theft would more than likely be the reason Stan would be in the area. What could he be stealing though? Money? An artifact? Either way, he’s obviously broke once he’s back in the US and staying in New Mexico - a penny is worth much more than a single peso. So he’s not partaking in these types of crime. 

If Stan was close to the border, which I have suspicions he must have been, then there is reason to believe that at one point the man was a part of a cartel; a Mexican Mafia. The majority of cartels are drug operated, and with the pun of “pug trafficking”, this makes it even more solid. Many can also include extortion, insider trading, and illegal gambling. How does any of this work to make money though? 

No matter what branch Stan had done (drugs, most definitely), it had to do with money laundering. This is where money is gained by illegally-gained proceeds (dirty money) and made to appear legal, clean. Typically, it involves three steps: placement, layering, and integration. First, the illegitimate money is put into legitimate financial systems, then the money is moved around to create confusion, sometimes by wiring or transferring through numerous accounts. It will be integrated into the financial system multiple times until eventually it appears clean through additional transactions; both national and international. (Even more of those fake ids are making sense now.)

There are MANY ways to do this, but for the sake of an educated guess, I’m willing to say that Stan was in on a shelling company. Now before anyone takes this as “wow Stan is a mob boss,” he most certainly is not. He would be regarded as a Straw Man, which is someone who has no value whatsoever that criminals basically rent out to make these fake little companies to shell in the dirty money. A business that goes like this, “Hey I have wet towels for sale! Also cocaine if you wink at me a few times!” Who was making a lot of little companies during his twenties? Stanley Pines. Seems like the kind of thing he would be good at.

Networks of cartels will use ordinary people strapped for cash for this kind of work all the time, every time- housewives, students, a twenty something year old with a criminal background that’s trying to make it rich. In no means, though, was Stan ever going to make it rich. People like that, like him, are picked because they are disposable. 

These little fish swimming in such a big pond usually end up murdered by actual respected members of the cartel, or arrested because they simply weren’t very good at being criminals. Well, Stanley is good at it. SO, in the scene where he’s talking about paying back “Rico’s goons” and he immediately is grabbing a bat, to me, is super dark. This can be viewed as Alex’s humor, yes, but it is actually the exact kind of move we see in serious movies about drug cartels - where the boss, or some affiliate, comes knocking on the motel/dead end flats door late one night where our anti-hero is staying. 

Stanley without a doubt was a part of one of these schemes. I don’t think he was really borrowing money like the scene will have you believe without some thought and I don’t think the word “goons” is thrown in there just as Stan’s dialect. No, I think Stanley jumped ship, crossed the border, and he was holding onto what little he could when he did. There’s a reason most members of a cartel end up dead; because they know and also they owe. The money earned via shelling is never yours to keep - it’s dirty money to be put into the scheme. 

The takeaway just makes me feel more sympathetic to Stanley and what he went through versus Stanford “I didn’t get my dream school” petty Pines. Both valid in their hurt, but seriously so immature. 

Of course, all of this is speculation, but that postcard sure came in at a good time. 

[stories-sometimes]

I’ve Made A Huge Mistake {2/?}

Peter Parker x Reader, Quentin Beck x Reader

Summary: Peter just wanted to enjoy his trip to Europe, maybe even confess his feelings to his best friends.But along came a mysterious new hero to ruin those plans. Peter and his class are aged up and in college.

Warnings: Violence in later chapters, manipulation, age gap

Word Count: 1819

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

She was sat on the rickety stairs of the hotel, closely watching the news coverage of the earlier events along with the rest of her class. She’d since dried off, changed clothes but still held on tightly to the cape. She felt conflicted, to say the least. For as long as she could remember she felt an enthralling connection to Peter and thought this trip could be the perfect time to make her move. Yet ever since that mysterious man saved her from the river, he was all she could think about. Every thought was consumed by him. Who he was? Where did he come from? Would she ever see him again?

“What is it with you and Spider-Man?” MJ asked Flash, snapping her out of her trance.

“What? He’s just awesome, okay? He protects the neighbourhood, and you know, he’s inspiring. He inspires me to be a better man.” Flash explained, she smirked to herself as she watched Peter walk into the conversation. “Sup dickward. Thought you drown with her.”

“Not funny Flash.” She glared at him.

“I’m kidding sweetheart, my heart would be broken if your pretty little ass drowned.” Peter went to step towards Flash, she put her up to stop him.

“Don’t, he’s not worth it.” Flash smirked at Peter’s angry expression, knowing he’d won in pissing Peter off.

“Sounds like the guy’s called Mysterio.” Brad said, drawing the attention back to the news broadcast.

“L’uomo del Misterio is Italian for man of mystery. They don’t actually know who he is.” MJ explained. Brad stared admiringly at her, once again impressed by her brain.

“Mysterio.”

“Cool name,” Ned and Betty said at the same time, “babe.” They glanced at each other, the puppy love clear in their eyes. MJ rolled her eyes at the two of them. 

As soon as the show was over Peter and Ned retired to their room. Peter had to listen to a minute of Ned’s lovesick ramblings about Betty before he was suddenly cut off. He collapsed onto the bed in front of him. Peter looked around, shocked to see Nick Fury sat in the corner of his hotel room.

“You’re a very difficult man to contact, Spiderman.” Fury said, the same deadpan voice as always. Peter finally saw in person just how intimidating the man truly was.

“Your Nick Fury.” Peter said, staring wide-eyed at him. “You, you shot Ned.” He pointed exasperatedly to his unconscious friend.

“It’s a mild tranquilliser, he’ll be fine.” Fury replied, clearly unfazed by knocking an innocent bystander out. “I used to know everything. Then, I come back five years later and now, I know nothing. No intel, no team, and a high school kid is dodging my calls.” He carried on, growing increasingly more frustrated.

“I’m sorry.”

“Here’s what I do know... a week ago, a village in Mexico was wiped out by a cyclone.” He pulled up a hologram of the scene. “Witnesses say that cyclone had a face. A village was destroyed by what may well be another world-threatening. Today a whirlpool knocked out half a city. We need you to step up and help.”

“I can’t, I'm here for …”

“Get your suit, meet me outside in 10.” Fury stood up, leaving Peter no room for arguing. “Oh, and bring your friend.”

“You knocked him out.”

“The girl.” Fury said before promptly leaving the room. Peter stood in place, eyes fixed on the seat Fury was sat in. Why the hell did they want her there? On one hand, he wanted to keep her as far away from superhero duties as possible, but on the other, he thought it would be an even worse idea to face Fury without her. He went down to her room, knocking on the door.

“Peter, what are you doing here.” She asked.

“Can anyone else hear?” Peter glanced hastily into the room.

“No, Betty passed out a few minutes after Ned stopped responding to her texts. Why what’s happened?”

“Nick Fury just talked to me.”

“No way, I thought you were avoiding his calls.”

“I was, until he showed up in my room, knocked out Ned and demanded I go with him.”

“Then why are you still here?”

“He said you need to come as well.”

“What?” She looked shocked.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s cause you came in contact with one of those monsters.”

“Maybe, give me a couple of minutes and I’ll meet you in your room.” Peter nodded before running back, rummaging through his suitcase to find the suit May packed for him. He’d just put it on when he heard her come into his room.

“You ready?” Peter asked as he opened the window.

“Is Ned gonna be alright?”

“Yeah, it’s just a mild tranquilliser.” He responded. He climbed out the window, sitting on the windowsill, holding out his arm for her. She quickly climbed out to sit beside him, wrapping herself around his waist and bracing herself for the drop. Peter shot out a web and swung down to where Fury was waiting for them.

“I’m never gonna get used to that.”

The three of them sat on a gondola, floating down the river to an unknown location.

“Stark left you these.” Fury said, passing Peter a case containing Tony’s signature glasses. “Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.  Stark said you wouldn't get that because it's not a Star Wars reference.” Fury scoffed. Peter looked longingly at the glasses, after noticing his discomfort she reached out to wrap an arm around his shoulder. He instantly leaned into her touch. They finally reached an underground base. “You breathe a word of this to anyone and no one will find your body.” Fury warned her. “This is Mr Beck.” Fury said. A man wearing the same suit as earlier, only without the fishbowl helmet on. He’s older than her or Peter, a good ten years on the both of them. He had a handsome, rugged face with worn-out eyes.

“Mysterio.” The two college students said in unison.

“What?”

“It’s just what my friends have been calling you.” Peter explained.

“Well, you can call me Beck,” he said, holding out his hand for Peter to shake. Quentin then turned to her, shaking her hand but holding on for a few seconds too long, before Fury cleared his throat. “You handled yourself well out there today.” He turned his attention back to Peter. “I saw what you did with the tower. We could use someone like you on my world.”

“Thanks, wait, your world?”

“Mr Beck is from earth, just not our one.” Fury revealed.

“Multiple realities, I’m from Earth 833, this is Earth 616.”

“I'm sorry, you're saying there's a multiverse? Cause I thought that was just theoretical. That completely changes how we understand the initial singularity. We're talking about an internal inflation system and how does that even work with all the quantum? It's insane …” He trailed off as he noticed Fury’s stare. While she was in no way stupid, she had always admired how much more intelligent Peter was than her, then everyone. “I’m sorry, it’s just really cool.”

“Don’t ever apologise for being the smartest person in the room,” Beck reassured Peter. “But my earth’s gone now, they destroyed it, took my family.”

“I’m sorry,” Peter said, Beck shrugged it off, trying not to look downcast for too long.

“Anyway,” Fury said, pulling out another hologram, explaining to Peter about the next monster attack, elementals as he called them. He filled Peter in on their plan. As he did that, Beck pulled her to the side.

“You’re probably wondering why you’re here.” Beck said to her, holding onto her arms lightly. She nodded quickly. “Well, you probably won’t believe me, but,” he paused, “you look exactly like my wife from my dimension.”

“What?” She said confused.

“I’m sorry for springing that on to you, and I don’t want to make you feel obligated to do anything, or even to deal with me. But I just had to see your face again.” Tears began to form in his eyes. His grip grew tighter, as though he was scared she’d vanish if he let go.

“No, it’s fine,” she reached up, cupped his cheeks and wiped away the tears that threatened to fall. She smiled as he leaned into her touch, placing his hand above her.

“Thank you,” He whispered softly.

“Tell me about her.”

“She was the most perfect person I’ve ever met. She was older than you, closer to my age. But we met in college, so she was around your age then. She looked exactly like you, so beautiful,” she blushed deeply and looked down, Beck quickly placed his hand under her chin, making her look back up at him, “she was kind, the most selfless person I ever had the pleasure of knowing. You sound like her, you’ve been acting like her, hell, you even dress like her.” He laughed. She felt an odd sense of pride being compared to this woman, being admired by a man like Beck.

“She sounds wonderful.”

“She was. This might be a bit of a long shot, but, meeting you has set something alight in me. Something I haven’t since she died. But is there any chance I could get your number, or something so I can talk to you again.” She nodded, smiling as she pulled out her phone to give him her details.

Peter overheard everything, a green-eyed monster erupting inside him. He was already against the idea of joining this mission and hearing her and Beck talk only made him want to distance himself (and in turn her) from this.

“Sir, look, I really wanna help. But if my aunt finds out that I left my class trip, she's gonna kill me. And if I'm seen like this in Europe, after the Washington Monument, my whole class will figure out who I am and then, and then the whole world will figure out who I am, then I'm done.” Peter rambled as soon as Fury was done explaining.

“Okay.”

“Wait, really.”

“Why don't you get back before your teachers miss you and become suspicious.” Peter tried to read Fury’s expression, but once again it was impossible to know what the man was thinking.

“Thank you, Mr Fury, and good luck.” He looked over to her, watching as she reluctantly pulled away from Beck.

“See you kid.” Beck waved to Peter. He knew Beck meant no harm by the nickname, but he couldn’t help but feel lesser to him. What if he was still that kid from Queens in her eyes? Suddenly he had this man, this hero, openly showing his interest. Competing with his classmates for her attention was hard enough, let alone introducing this new superhero.

“I hope to see you again soon.” Beck said affectionately before she could fully leave his grip.

“Me too.”

@cool-ontherun-world 

@eleventhdoctorsangel 

@chubby-tink 

[ionova]

( emily browning, 27, cis female, she/her ) Have you seen MIRA IONOVA around ? I hear they’re an BALLET INSTRUCTOR AT SWAG who can sometimes be MELANCHOLY & DYSFUNCTIONAL But I also heard they can be EMPATHETIC & PERCEPTIVE if you catch them on a good day. They’re usually hanging around LINCOLN PARK ZOO in their spare time. I sure hope they’re alright ! ( crow, she/they, 26yo, gmt-5) 

— BASICS

Full Name: Mira Ionova Nickname(s): Mir Age: 27 Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Religion: Lapsed Catholic Birth Place: A village with a name she can’t remember  Languages: English, Russian, Basque, Catalan Alignment: Chaotic Good

— PHYSICAL

Face claim: Emily Browning Eye Color: Brown Hair Color: Brown Height: 5′ Distinguishing Features/Marks: freckles; a snake tattoo on the back of her arm, covered up with flowers; a scar on her knee, ankle; scar on her neck

— PERSONALITY

Habits: flexing her ankle and foot when thinking; absentmindedly drawing swirls on napkins; staring off into space; going home, making a simple dinner, and soaking in a bath; stretching before bed & in the morning Likes: dance, long baths, film, sketching, insects, costume design, the unusual & odd, making complicated drinks, baroque art, when her students perfect a step, strong coffee & tea Dislikes: artificial sweets, rain, strong scents, sleeping, brain fog, the cold, loud noises, cruelty Strengths:  marksmanship, fist-fighting Weaknesses: chronic pain, reckless Traits: thoughtful, sociable, determined, loyal, melancholy, closed-off, wary, dysfunctional, caring

— BACKGROUND [TW DEATH, TW MURDER, TW VOMITING, TW CHILD ABUSE]

Mira barely remembers who she was before she became the daughter of Claudia Ionova. In Spain, she had another name, another life but that might have just been a dream.

She was seven when her mother died. Claudia adopted her, called her Mira. What Mira wanted was a family, and what she got was a pair of ribboned shoes and a gun. Her new mother doted on her when she did well, but was cruel when she slipped on the floor, and when she couldn’t shoot straight, her hand shaking. To be Ionova was to be perfect, and to not be perfect was to be dead.

The first time she killed someone, Mira threw up on the floor and scratched the skin from her hands. “It gets easier,” Claudia said, but it didn’t. To be Ionova means to be an assassin means to live your life in the service of the Zmeya. Mira never had a choice.

When she was fifteen, she entered the New York Academy of Ballet. It was her chance to leave the world she’d never been meant for, to make some friends who didn’t know how to kill a moving target. But she still felt isolated, alone. At nineteen she suffered a fall, sustaining injuries to her left leg and ankle - she didn’t really get back up after that. After physical therapy, she was back to what most people thought of as normal, but her leg protested whenever she lifted it into a passé, and in ciseaux, she wasn’t half as graceful.

Two years later, Claudia was assassinated. She was the one to find her mother. A friend helped her escape the ensuing chaos that erupted in Zmeya ranks when she was targeted, shuffling her to different states, before dropping her in New Mexico. She adapted, taking different jobs bartending and serving, before going back to school for her bachelors in Theater Arts.

She’d finally settled down when he returned five years later and told her, “You made me a promise.” and that gun was still in the back of her closet, locked in a safe with a combination she didn’t know. His gambling caused problems with the wrong crowd. It was $50,000 on the line, and the head of one of this gang’s most important members, but somehow it didn’t feel like it was worth the risk of her life. But she owed a debt.

A year after entering a relationship with her target, she was caught when finally she finally found out where the money was held and was taken captive, where she met Konstantin Vasile. He managed to get out. She didn’t.

She refused to sell out her friend, and they decided that they wouldn’t kill her. Not if she killed Konstantin. Her life for his - it should be an easy trade, they told her. After all, he’d left her behind.

Now she’s in Chicago, under someone else’s thumb. And she wants out.

— WANTED CONNECTIONS

Friends. Any kind of friends, really, from people Mira interacts on a daily basis with to casual acquaintances. She’s able to carry a conversation, but isn’t necessarily a chatterbox. It would be hard to get close to her on an emotional level, but she needs people to keep her company when drinking, visiting art museums, the zoo, and seeing movies.

Students. People she teaches in more intermediate classes, and any parents with children who she teaches. She can seem harsh sometimes, but only because of how important precision is in dance, and otherwise she maintains a good relationship with those she instructs.

Enemies. These will likely be people she’s known in the past, but I’m open to anything here. There’s a strong possibility of her not liking certain people, or at least not trusting them, and we love a little friction, don’t we?

Love interests. I have no concrete ideas for this area, but it’d be fun to have, whether they’re as fucked up as she is, or someone who’s functional (and whose life she can fuck up.)

Other: People she knew from back in New Mexico, people from NYC, those familiar with the Zmeya crime family, people who enjoy the fine taste of theater popcorn, friendly giant spiders

[friday1econlive]

19 Observations I made during Covid-19 - Bobby Xiao

1. I’ve been trying very hard to get vaccinated recently, however after contacting the health departments and local drug stores. I found out that the elderly and health workers have an advantage of getting the vaccine first. Me, a young student is ineligible to get vaccinated early and have to wait for more vaccines to arrive. This is a case of scarcity, since there are only limited amounts of vaccines available.

2. The supplies of covid-19 vaccines are limited and the demand for it is very high, almost everyone. In this case it leads to a shortage of vaccines and leads to an equilibrium that’s below ideal. I would be considered one of the people that demands for a vaccine but cannot be supplied.

3. When the pandemic had just begun, everyone was mandated to quarantine at their home. It led to a high demand for toilet paper. Every local marketplace ran out of supplies of toilet paper. This is an example of demand shock, during normal times toilet paper has sufficient supplies however because of a sudden change in demand, it led to a shortage.

4. Another example that I observed and similar to observation number three is in the case of oranges. The regular price of oranges before the pandemic was about 52 cents, however during the beginning of Covid-19 the price went up almost 130% to about 67 cents. This was caused by health organizations suggesting oranges have nutrients that empowers the immune system and protect ourselves from diseases. As people heard this, the demand for oranges became higher and there’s not enough supply for oranges. Which caused the drastic increase in price and this is also a case of demand shock.

5. When I go out of my home to a public place, I am required to wear a mask by law. Masks have been a necessity during the pandemic. Thus, the price of masks have gone up. This is a case of masks being inelastic, since the price of masks varies during normal times vs. pandemic times and despite the increase in price for masks, the demand is still high.

6. When masks are needed for anywhere that I go, it is something that cannot be replaced with during Covid-19, which makes it a case of necessity good, and it is considered a type of normal good.

7. Sellers for masks increased all prices for masks during the beginning of the pandemic when everyone started purchasing them. In this case, masks are scarce goods and sellers change the price of the goods because change in supply and demand causes the seller to adjust to the market. For example if the price of masks are $5 and everyone demands it, the seller would sell all of them. If the price were $20, since everyone is still demanding it, the seller would be able to make 4 times the profit by adjusting the price.

8. As I received my new masks I paid a high price for from Amazon, I can’t help but notice that they were made in China and Vietnam. Which made me wonder why an American website would sell products that were imported from another country and why China or Vietnam would export these products out to other countries such as the United States.

9. As I did further research on the topic of observation number 7, I realized that the average labor for China and Vietnam is a lot lower than the United States. Which gives countries such as China and Vietnam an absolute advantage when it comes to producing masks for the price of labor is much lower.

10. My friend Robby who lives in Mexico visited me during Covid-19, he told me that the price of the flight was three times cheaper than it used to be. This is because the demand for flights is low during the pandemic, which leads to a surplus and causes the price of flights to decrease.

11. When Robby was visiting me during the pandemic, we went out to a restaurant and Robby forgot to bring his mask. We had to wear masks to enter the restaurant: coincidentally I forgot my wallet, but I had an extra mask. So I gave him a mask and he paid for my meal, both of us benefited from this trade. I was able to dine for free and he was able to dine. This is a case of trades can make everyone better off.

12. During Covid-19, the United States government started an emergency unemployment program that gave people who lost their jobs caused by the pandemic a temporary fund. The government was able to give out a large amount of funds through its tax revenue and money printing.

13. When the new president Joe Biden and Kamala Harris ran for office, he planned a lot of new policies to make for helping the people struggling because of the pandemic. One of their policies was to raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour. After learning in Economics, I realized that this policy could potentially cause inflation, especially in states that have much lower minimum wage at the moment. For example, in Texas, the current minimum wage is $7.25, this new policy would more than double Texas’ minimum wage which could cause more unemployment and rise in prices.

14. As a college student, a policy that affects me by far the most is the pause in student loan payments. This was a policy made during Covid-19 to help students relieve their finances. In this case, the loans are delayed and the interest rate would be different because of the delay.

15. Not only were people able to get unemployment benefits and funds, some small businesses were able to get benefits from the government as well. Since small businesses such as restaurants were forced to close, and many businesses failed during the pandemic. This is a case of market failure, and the government intervenes by supporting them with funds.

16. I moved in as a first year student to University of California Irvine, and after receiving my first bill from the financial aid office. I realized that the price for college didn’t change because of the pandemic, although everything is online instead of in person. Supposedly the price should decrease, however the price remained the same because college tuition is inelastic: people go to college to get the degree and education, so however the price - the demand remains the same.

17. At the moment, I thought the prices were unreasonable for online classes. So I was thinking about taking a gap year for my first year of college and return when there’s in person classes. However after further thinking, I evaluated my opportunity cost for taking a gap year wouldn’t be worth it, since I will be graduating one year late and it would cause me to have a beginning level job at a later age.

18. The concept of opportunity cost has been in my head many times during the pandemic. Another case that involves this concept is the school’s weekly mandatory covid test: if I were not to take it, I get to have one more hour every week, and I will have extra time to work on my homework. However if I don’t take the covid test, I’ll not be able to eat at the dining hall since it requires me to show proof of my covid test. The price of food is expensive at University of California Irvine, so I would be losing a lot if I were to choose not to take the covid test.

19. As I researched the amount of students enrolled in University of California Irvine, I realized that not only the school didn’t decrease in the amount of new students enrolled, it increased. This was highly surprising to me since I thought a lot of students would choose not to enroll in the school because nothing is in person. This is because colleges are in a monopolistically competitive industry, all of them provide a product of education but none of them are identical. Which explains why it is highly inelastic.

[babygirlizz]

Movies and TV shows of 2019

Okay so a couple or few years ago I did a review of movies that had released that year because I was super into movies that year. I am still into movies, but I have been watching a lot more shows this year. So, I will be reviewing movies and tv shows. Furthermore, I will be including stuff released this year, that I found this year, or that has a new season this year. Basically just anything that I have loved this year. Also, I don’t feel like ranking, so no particular order. Also, SPOILERS AHEAD - if you see a title of something you have not seen, and don’t want spoilers, please feel free to skip that section. Also, some of these I haven’t seen in a hot minute so if I get a detail messed up, we won’t speak on it. And finally, trigger warning - if you have struggled with sexual assault and may have an issue reading about it, either skip this post entirely or skip over the review of “Unbelievable.”

MOVIES -

1. After

I have been waiting for this since middle school. I read the after books on wattpad because what teenager in love with harry styles didn’t. Now I will be real with y'all. The acting could use some work in specific scenes, and some of the actors aren't MY favorite picks for certain roles, but I’m not gonna hate on actors. Ok so, Tessa (Josephine Langford) is an incoming freshman in college and is rooming with an upperclassmen, Steph (Khadijha Red Thunder) who has a friend named Hardin (Hero Fiennes-Tiffin). Steph wants Tessa to branch out and do new things, so she invites her to a party, where they play the stereotypical games, and thats when Hardin is kind of dared to make Tessa fall in love with him. ALSO, Tessa has a high school boyfriend named Noah (Dylan Arnold). She starts seeing Hardin, her boyfriend finds out, she falls in love with Hardin, and finds out it was all a dare. Buuuuuuut, pLoT tWiSt he actually loves her.

2. Avengers: Endgame

Ok listen, Infinity War was heartbreaking bc Bucky duh, but y'all are really gonna take Tony (RDJ) and Steve (Chris Evans) away from me? Shut up. Still, this was a really good movie and I’m not just saying that because I’m a marvel hoe. FRICK Thanos and thats on Ant Man. Thats literally all I have to say.

3. Annabelle Comes Home

I am a whore for scary movies. I love them so much and this one was *chefs kiss*. I love Mckenna Grace, she's such a good young actress and she fits so well in scary moves. There’s not much to say about the plot in this one, and ya really need to see it. Also, Bob (Michael Cimino) is so heckin cute what the heck.

4. Let It Snow

Ok this is a lot to unpack so grab ya snacks. Let’s talk about couple number 1 (of 3), Tobin (Mitchell Hope) and Angie (Kiernan Shipka) who are best friends. Tobin is in love with Angie but doesn’t know how to tell her, and gets lots of unwanted encouragement from his best friend Keon (Jacob Batalon) who just wants to throw a heckin good party, is that too much to ask for? So Angie gets invited to a party by some cute guy, JP (M and Tobin is jealous but goes with her anyways and they steal a keg for Keon’s party and run from the scary hosts of the party and end up stranded in a church after his car spins out of control. They finally make it to the party and kiss on the roof with the waffle town sign shining bright behind them. NEXT - we have Julie (Isabela Merced) and Stuart (Shameik Moore). This is kind of really cliche with the whole “he’s-famous-she-doesn’t-care-he-finds-that-attractive-lets-fall-in-love” aspect, but its also hella cute uwu. They meet on a train and the train stops so they go eat at the waffle town and go sledding and do a bunch of cute coupley shit. His manager comes to get him and basically tells her that nothing will ever really happen between them and he leaves. Then, he shows up at the party and they fall in love. NEXT- we have Dorrie (Liv Hewson) who is a lesbian that constantly struggles with the gay panic. Her best friend Addie (Odeya Rush) doesn't help much either because she's having her own relationship problems. Dorrie works at Waffle Town and when she's working the girl she's talking to, Kerry (Anna Akana) comes in with her dance team, and she's not out of the closet. A bunch of shit goes down, but they end up together and Dorrie learns that she’s worth more than she thinks and that’s all that matters. Also, Billy (Miles Robbins) and Tin Foil Woman (Joan Cusack) make wonderful additions to this movie.

5. The King

First of all - Timothée Chalamet and Robert Pattinson in the same movie? Sign me the HECK up. But they’re also historical, frick yea. Not too much to say about this movie other than it’s good. Super graphic (don’t watch if you don’t like decapitation lol) and super long, but good nonetheless.

6. Falling Inn Love

This movie is super freaking cute. Gabriela (Christina Milian) decides that she needs a change and enters a contest to win an Inn in New Zealand. She wins the Inn and is shocked when she realizes the Inn needs a LOT of work. She goes around town to get stuff to fix up the Inn and constantly runs into Jake (Adam Demos) and they have this flirty but we don’t like each other relationship, but then ya know, they fall in(n) love. 

SHOWS -

1. The Society

I could talk about this show for hours, literally. I love it so much it’s insane. Ok, so lets start from the beginning. A town called West Ham is being plagued by a disgusting smell. Due to this, the town decides to send busloads of teenagers to the mountains while they try and resolve the smell situation. All of the teenagers fall asleep on the bus and wake up to the announcement that they had to go back home due to road blocks. When they get off the buses, its late and no one is there to pick them up. They think that it may just be a sense of miscommunication, so they head home, only to find that none of their families are there, and they can’t get ahold of any of them over the phone. They finally decide to investigate and find that all exits out of town are completely blocked off. They then decide to find a way to survive without their families. This causes a lot of tension within the town including the death of a main character. This shows also includes gay representation!!!! This is my favorite couple, Sam (Sean Birdy) and Grizz (Jack Mulhern). Sam is deaf and gay and his brother, Campbell (Toby Wallace), makes fun of him for both reasons, and when the whole issue with the town happens, he believes he will never find love because he doesn’t think anyone else is gay, until Grizz comes along, and tries to learn ASL and loves him for him.

2. Roswell New Mexico

Alright, to be completely honest, I did not want to watch this. I have no idea why I just didn’t. I saw an edit on like instagram or something of the couples in the show and I was like, alright I can give it a chance. And spoiler alert I loved it. The series starts off with Liz Ortecho (Jeanine Mason) comes back to her hometown of Roswell around the time of her the anniversary of her sister, Rosa’s (Amber Midthunder), death. She gets pulled over on her way in and the officer that pulled her over was Max Evans (Nathan Parsons), who has had a crush on her since they first met, and just so happens to be an alien. After Liz gets shot in her families restaurant, Max uses his healing powers to save her, but leaves behind a hand print on her that makes her suspicious. She continues to investigate until he tells her the truth. She also finds out that her sister was actually murdered, and has the same hand print on her that she did when Max healed her. Turns out, his sister, Isobel (Lily Cowels) killed her, but it was actually another alien possessing her (which they didn’t know was possible when she killed her). When they landed on earth they also landed with their “brother” Michael (Michael Vlamis) who starts off the series with an on and off relationship with Alex (Tyler Blackburn) and I love them together. Alex is the son of one of the guys trying to find and take down the aliens and he also went to war and lost his leg. Anyways, towards the end of the season Alex starts seeing Maria (Heather Hemmens), which is a couple I don’t really like, but also bi representation is good! Anyways I don’t really wanna spoil this one too much I just love it a lot.

3. Elite

This is a show that came out in 2018, but they released a second season this year. All I’m saying is please watch the original version, not the dubbed over version. Elite is a spanish show about a few students that get a scholarship to the private school after their school gets demolished. This shows is in the fashion of present and past which includes a lot of flashbacks leading up to the the murder of one of the students. My favorite part of this show is the relationship between Ander (Arón Piper) and Omar (Omar Ayuso). Ander is the son of the head of the school and Omar is the brother of one of the students that got a scholarship. Not only are they of different socioeconomic status’, but Omar is also Muslim, and his family would not approve of him being gay. He finally finds the courage to tell his family, but thats not until season 2. Also, his sister Nadia (Mina El Hammani) falls in love with the “bad boy” of the school, Guzmán (Miguel Bernardeau) and starts going against her parents wishes as well.

4. The Umbrella Academy 

Y’all mind if I confuse y'all real quick. So, a bunch of women all of the sudden give birth out of nowhere at the same time even tho none of them were pregnant? Yea I know weird. Anyways, so this dude tries to adopt as many of them as possible and ends up adopting like 7. They all have powers and they try and stop the apocalypse. That’s literally all I can tell y'all. 

5. Unbelievable

I swear I didn’t mean to get y’all upset right now. This show made me angry and sad and so many other feelings all at once. So the show beings with a girl named Marie (Kaitlyn Dever) getting raped in her home. When she reports it, they can’t find any evidence, as he cleaned the apartment and made her shower. This mixed with the fact that she struggles remembering parts of her experience (which is common with sexual assault), the police don’t believe her and force her to retract her statement. This in itself is awful, but they also charge her with false statement, which adds on to the fact that people already believe that she is a liar. Years later, two female detectives, Karen and Grace, piece together rapes in their precincts and once they find the rapist, they find Marie’s picture in with his belongings, proving that she was telling the truth the entire time.

6. Sailor Moon

I just got into anime and all I have to say is that I love this. That is all.

[bamon4bamily]

TVD 9x10 - Spinnin’ round and round... (part 1) Enjoy! =)

Cut to – The secret facility, Edward’s cell which, unlike Matt’s, is quite luxurious. He is lying on his bed, sedated, having flashbacks from his past. 

Cut to- 3 years ago, the Powell’s NYC mansion.

TAMARA: Moy malen’kiy geroy, I’m happy you are home; I was getting worried.

EDWARD: Oh, come on mom, I was only gone for a couple of hours.

TAMARA: Come, sit with me, have some wine. (Pours him a glass) So, how did she take it?

EDWARD: Not very well, but that had more to do with her ego than her feelings.

TAMARA: You made the right decision, I never liked her.

EDWARD: I know, you made that quite clear any time she was around.

TAMARA: Well, I tried my best to behave but I just couldn’t stand seeing you with someone that didn’t deserve you; let alone a Luxford. What else did you expect, my dear?

EDWARD: (Smiles in complicity) That’s true. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I thought she might be different given that she actually studied a dignified career, instead of being just another socialite.

TAMARA: Oh, my dear, you can be so naive sometimes. The only reason she got into Harvard medical is because of who her father is, nothing more. Now, let’s forget about her and move on to you. Have you thought about your father’s proposal?

EDWARD: Mother, how can you even ask me that after everything he has put us through? Especially you…

TAMARA: I know, and I will hate him for the rest of my life for what he has done to us, but this is not about him, it’s about the order, and your god-given right to be at the top of that pyramid.

EDWARD: I don’t know if I want that… is it even worth it? I mean, for the price one has to pay… I really don’t think it is.

TAMARA: If I didn’t know what they were capable of, I would agree with you, but unfortunately, whether you like it or not, you were born into this, and there is no escaping that.

EDWARD: You managed to get away from him…

TAMARA: Oh, my dear boy, you have it all wrong. I might have been able to get him away from us, but by no means have I escaped him. Just like you, whether I like it or not, I married into this and there is no way out… except death, of course.

EDWARD: Don’t say that, god, mother, you can be so dark sometimes!

TAMARA: I’m sorry, moy malen'kiy geroy, I didn’t mean to upset you. Why don’t we change the subject and lighten the mood. How about we start planning for Anthony’s surprise birthday party, it’s coming soon, and we need to start preparing.

EDWARD: That, I can get on board with.

TAMARA: How about a Gatsby theme? He loves Fitzgerald.

EDWARD: That’s perfect!

TAMARA: The Madame arrives tomorrow; we can ask her to help; she has so many memorabilia from the ’20s, it will come in handy.

EDWARD: If anyone knows how to throw a party, it’s her.

TAMARA: Tell me about it! Wildest days of my life have been with her (they laugh). Alright, my love, it’s getting late and I need my beauty sleep. We’ll get into the planning details tomorrow.

EDWARD: I’m going to stay for a bit longer.

TAMARA: Okay, but don’t stay up too late, sleep is important. (Kisses his cheek) I love you.

EDWARD: I love you too, have a good rest.

Cut to – Akumal, Mexico. Bonnie, Damon, Stefan, and Caroline are at a beautiful cenote, getting ready to scuba dive.

BONNIE: Wow, Care, I have to say, I’m so proud of you! Just a few days ago you wouldn’t even get near the ocean, and now you are suiting up to explore the deep waters!

CAROLINE: I know! I’m a changed woman, that’s for sure! Also, Alfredo (their dive instructor) said there are no sharks in these waters…

ALFREDO: That’s right, nothing to worry about. Now, if you see a pair of red-eyes shine… let me know.

CAROLINE: What!!!!!

ALFREDO: (Laughs) Just kidding! It’s fine, only thing you might see, if you are lucky, is some fish. Now, everyone, ready?

DAMON: (All suited up) Let’s do this!!

ALFREDO: Remember what I taught you, and stay close. It can get very dark at some points inside the caves, so don’t let go of the lifeline.

STEFAN: I think I’m regretting this decision…  

BONNIE: Oh, come on, Stefan, you love the dark.

STEFAN: But not underwater…

CAROLINE: Let’s give it a try, if we don’t like it, we can abort mission (turns to Alfredo), right?

ALFREDO: Of course, you know the signal, so if you want out, let me know and I’ll bring you right back up; no worries. 

STEFAN: What the hell, let’s do it!

ALFREDO: Excellent, my friend! You won’t regret it.  Okay, on the count of three, we’ll jump in. One… two… three!

Cut to – The Salvatore school, Alaric’s study. After many unsuccessful tries, Radka, Alaric, Lexi and Tyler are still trying to figure out how to undo the body switch spell. Katherine is getting desperate; the student seems to be enjoying this new body, just a tad much…

 KATHERINE: (Catches the student touching his boobs) Hey!!! Hands off perv!!!

THE STUDENT: I’m sorry Miss Pierce! I swear it won’t happen again; I was just curious.

KATHERINE: Oh yes, I’m sure that’s what that was! I have my eye on you! (Turns to Lexi and Tyler who can’t stop laughing) And you two... I swear, I’ll get you back!

TYLER: Oh, come on, Katherine, have a little sense of humor. You have to see the irony in all of this.

KATHERINE: Not when my body smells like a testosterone-filled locker room and I have a thing hanging between my legs!!

LEXI: (Mocking) As long as it’s not stiff…

KATHERINE: Shut up, Lexi!! (Throws the couch pillow at her face, Lexi catches it with her vamp reflexes).

ALARIC: (With a grin, trying to contain the laughter) Relax, Katherine, I’m sure we’ll find a way to revert this… at some point.  

RADKA: (Scrolling through different spellbooks) Well, even if we do, we’ll need to find a different witch to do the spell, an experienced one, Ivan (the traveler student) or any other witch student won’t be able to pull it off without guidance. And, Margo (the witchcraft teacher) is on sick leave, and Bonnie on vacation, so it might take more time than we had hoped.

KATHERINE: Are you kidding me??! I can’t be trapped in this body any longer!! Look at me!! I’m hideous and hormonal!!!

LEXI: (Looking at her package, smirking) And excited, I see...

KATHERINE: Oh, damn!! 

(Looking at Alaric, Tyler, and Ivan) How do you live like this??!! It’s disgusting! (Gets up to go to the bathroom, as she walks out, they all crack up).

Cut to- Munich Medical Lab, inside an old operating theatre; first day of the program. Sam, Elena, Alex and Sage, along with the rest of the students, are waiting for the program’s sponsor to arrive for the welcoming speech. After an hour, he finally arrives; absolutely no rush or apology for his tardiness.

PIETRO: Welcome everyone. If you are here you are one of the chosen, and you better be very grateful for that. From this point on, your life is about to change. Those who survive the program will be transformed, from pathetic wannabes to legends. Good luck (He leaves).

ELENA: That’s it? That’s what we waited an hour for? Speech didn’t even last a minute! No introduction, nothing! How rude!

SAGE: You really are lost, aren’t you? Don’t you know who that is? We should be thankful he even gave us 30 seconds of his time.

SAM: Drop it, Sage. She doesn’t have to know who he is. And you give him too much credit, he’s just an asshole with a shit load of money, that’s all.  

SAGE: Are you serious, Sam?! God, going small-town really affected you… the old Sam would have been fanboying at the mere glimpse of him.

ALEX:  Oh, please, Sage, just stop. The only reason you worship him is because he’s powerful, and “supposedly” a far relative of yours; which I doubt.

SAGE: No, the only reason I worship him is because he is a true legend, far more than Grayson was. And we are related.

ELENA: Wow, your are a bitch...

SAGE: I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I am being a bitch...Sorry about that, I get very defensive when it comes to him, I’m a huge fan. I’ll stop, I swear. I really am sorry for saying that. Truce?

ELENA: Just keep my father’s name out of your mouth, and we’ll be fine.

SAGE: Done.

SAM: Okay… let’s head to our first course before this gets even more uncomfortable.

ELENA: (As they are heading out) So, what’s the big shots name?

SAM: Pietro Salvatore (Elena holds him back; Sage and Alex keep walking).

ELENA: Salvatore… 

SAM: I know, what a coincidence! Seems like you can’t escape that name…(Teasing) Good thing this one is much older, I mean, in real-time, so I have nothing to worry about.

ELENA: As for him, or any other Salvatore in the world, you don’t; but if your “friend” keeps up with her snarky commentary, you will have something to be worried about.

SAM: I’m sorry, she can be a hand full, but that’s not who she really is. She puts up this tough bitchy exterior as a defense mechanism; but once she puts her guard down, she’s a completely different person; trust me.

ELENA: I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt because I love you. But if she doesn’t stop, she’ll know just how bitchy I can be too.

SAM: I’ll keep her in line, I swear.

ELENA: Good.

SAM: Just to be sure, there is no way Damon and Stefan are related to him, right? You told me they were the last ones in their bloodline.

ELENA: They are; the last remaining Salvatore, Sara, was killed by Damon.

SAM: Seriously? Wow, your ex is really fucked up.  

ELENA: Well, he was under some siren’s psychic mind control thing, so it wasn’t his fault.

SAM: I know it’s your home an all, but I’m glad we got away.

ELENA: Me too. Although, I really miss my friends.

SAM: I know (kisses her), let’s hope they come visit soon.

 Cut to – The Powell mansion. Anthony knocks on The Madame’s bedroom door.

ANTHONY: Madame, I am sorry to disturb you at this hour, but Mr. Powell did not come home last night, and he still hasn’t arrived. I am becoming concerned. Do you happen to know where he might be?

THE MADAME: Anthony, love. I think we both know where, or rather who he is with. Trouble is, Augustus has some very annoying tech thta is blocking my ability to track Edward. I’ve been trying to get a reach on him, but nothing.

ANTHONY: I knew this was a mistake, I warned you both.

THE MADAME: I know. I thought we had it under control, was not expecting Augustus’ toys getting in the way.  

ANTHONY: You were sworn to protect him, and if I must say, you are not doing a good job.

THE MADAME: Anthony, as much as I respect and appreciate you, be careful with your words. We wouldn’t want this situation escalating…

ANTHONY: Am I supposed to take that as a threat?

THE MADAME: Not at all. I would never hurt you. Just take it as advice to be more empathetic to those that love Edward, just as much as you do. And, FYI, you also failed to protect him, so if there is blood, it will be on both of our hands.

ANTHONY: Pardon me, Madame. I understand what you are saying; and you speak the truth. I’m just desperate, and very scared for him.

THE MADAME: As am I. I’ve dealt with all sorts of supernatural things for years, but I have never been faced with this kind of enemy, mostly because I can’t really comprehend it; I despise technology. But you have my word, I will not rest until I find him and bring him home safely.

ANTHONY: Thank you, Madame. And, once again, I do apologize for my behavior, I was out of line.

THE MADAME: You were being a father, I understand.

ANTHONY: And you, a mother.

THE MADAME: We will find him, I promise.

ANTHONY: I’ll leave you to your duties, Madame. Let me know if I can be of any assistance.

THE MADAME: I will, Anthony. Have a goodnight.

ANTHONY: You too, Madame.

 Cut to – New Orleans, a downtown bar. Klaus and Danae are having a drink. A familiar face walks in.

 KLAUS: (His eyes light up as if they were on fire) Are my eyes deceiving me again?

ABBY: They’re not.

KLAUS: You returned…

ABBY: (Smirks) I told you I would …

TVD 9x10 (part 2) coming soon! Hope you stop by, read and enjoy! =)

[blackfreethinkers]

Two kindergartners in Utah told a Latino boy that President Trump would send him back to Mexico, and teenagers in Maine sneered "Ban Muslims" at a classmate wearing a hijab. In Tennessee, a group of middle-schoolers linked arms, imitating the president's proposed border wall as they refused to let nonwhite students pass. In Ohio, another group of middle-schoolers surrounded a mixed-race sixth-grader and, as she confided to her mother, told the girl: "This is Trump country."

Since Trump's rise to the nation’s highest office, his inflammatory language — often condemned as racist and xenophobic — has seeped into schools across America. Many bullies now target other children differently than they used to, with kids as young as 6 mimicking the president’s insults and the cruel way he delivers them.

Trump’s words, those chanted by his followers at campaign rallies and even his last name have been wielded by students and school staff members to harass children more than 300 times since the start of 2016, a Washington Post review of 28,000 news stories found. At least three-quarters of the attacks were directed at kids who are Hispanic, black or Muslim, according to the analysis. Students have also been victimized because they support the president — more than 45 times during the same period.

Although many hateful episodes garnered coverage just after the election, The Post found that Trump-connected persecution of children has never stopped. Even without the huge total from November 2016, an average of nearly two incidents per school week have been publicly reported over the past four years. Still, because so much of the bullying never appears in the news, The Post’s figure represents a small fraction of the actual total. It also doesn’t include the thousands of slurs, swastikas and racial epithets that aren’t directly linked to Trump but that the president’s detractors argue his behavior has exacerbated.

“It’s gotten way worse since Trump got elected,” said Ashanty Bonilla, 17, a Mexican American high school junior in Idaho who faced so much ridicule from classmates last year that she transferred. “They hear it. They think it’s okay. The president says it. . . . Why can’t they?”

Asked about Trump’s effect on student behavior, White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham noted that first lady Melania Trump — whose “Be Best” campaign denounces online harassment — had encouraged kids worldwide to treat one another with respect.

First lady Melania Trump speaks at the White House in May 2018 about her “Be Best” campaign, which denounces online harassment. (Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post)

“She knows that bullying is a universal problem for children that will be difficult to stop in its entirety,” Grisham wrote in an email, “but Mrs. Trump will continue her work on behalf of the next generation despite the media’s appetite to blame her for actions and situations outside of her control.”

Most schools don’t track the Trump bullying phenomenon, and researchers didn’t ask about it in a federal survey of 6,100 students in 2017, the most recent year with available data. One in five of those children, ages 12 to 18, reported being bullied at school, a rate unchanged since the previous count in 2015.

However, a 2016 online survey of over 10,000 kindergarten through 12th-grade educators by the Southern Poverty Law Center found that more than 2,500 “described specific incidents of bigotry and harassment that can be directly traced to election rhetoric,” although the overwhelming majority never made the news. In 476 cases, offenders used the phrase “build the wall.” In 672, they mentioned deportation.

Withrow University High School

Someone sprayed hateful graffiti across campus, declaring "F- - - N-words and Faggots" and "Trump." The graffiti also threatened gay and black students and featured multiple swastikas -- the latter often painted alongside the president's last name.

Lewiston High School

After Ashanty Bonilla, 17, tweeted criticism of Trump supporters who visit Mexico, a classmate posted her message on Snapchat alongside a racist response and a Confederate flag. The next day, classmates heckled the teen with racist jeers, tied a rope to the back of her car and wrote "Republican Trump 2020" on the back window.

Amon Carter-Riverside High School

Georgia Clark, an English teacher in Fort Worth, tweeted at President Trump asking him to remove undocumented immigrants from her high school. She mistakenly believed her messages were private.

For Cielo Castor, who is Mexican American, the experience at Kamiakin High in Kennewick, Wash., was searing. The day after the election, a friend told Cielo, then a sophomore, that he was glad Trump won because Mexicans were stealing American jobs. A year later, when the president was mentioned during her American literature course, she said she didn't support him and a classmate who did refused to sit next to her. “‘I don’t want to be around her,’ ” Cielo recalled him announcing as he opted for the floor instead. Then, on “America night” at a football game in October 2018 during Cielo’s senior year, schoolmates in the student section unfurled a “Make America Great Again” flag. Led by the boy who wouldn’t sit beside Cielo, the teenagers began to chant: “Build — the — wall!” Horrified, she confronted the instigator. “You can’t be doing that,” Cielo told him. He ignored her, she recalled, and the teenagers around him booed her. A cheerleading coach was the lone adult who tried to make them stop. “I felt like I was personally attacked. And it wasn’t like they were attacking my character. They were attacking my ethnicity, and it’s not like I can do anything about that.”

— Cielo Castor

After a photo of the teenagers with the flag appeared on social media, news about what had happened infuriated many of the school’s Latinos, who made up about a quarter of the 1,700-member student body. Cielo, then 17, hoped school officials would address the tension. When they didn’t, she attended that Wednesday’s school board meeting. “I don’t feel cared for,” she told the members, crying. A day later, the superintendent consoled her and the principal asked how he could help, recalled Cielo, now a college freshman. Afterward, school staff members addressed every class, but Hispanic students were still so angry that they organized a walkout. Some students heckled the protesters, waving MAGA caps at them. At the end of the day, Cielo left the school with a white friend who’d attended the protest; they passed an underclassman she didn’t know. “Look,” the boy said, “it’s one of those f---ing Mexicans.” She heard that school administrators — who declined to be interviewed for this article — suspended the teenager who had led the chant, but she doubts he has changed. Reached on Instagram, the teenager refused to talk about what happened, writing in a message that he didn’t want to discuss the incident “because it is in the past and everyone has moved on from it.” At the end, he added a sign-off: “Trump 2020.”

President Trump’s rhetoric has been condemned as racist and xenophobic since his candidacy began in 2015. Here is what he’s said. (The Washington Post)

Just as the president has repeatedly targeted Latinos, so, too, have school bullies. Of the incidents The Post tallied, half targeted Hispanics.

In one of the most extreme cases of abuse, a 13-year-old in New Jersey told a Mexican American schoolmate, who was 12, that “all Mexicans should go back behind the wall.” A day later, on June 19, 2019, the 13-year-old assaulted the boy and his mother, Beronica Ruiz, punching him and beating her unconscious, said the family’s attorney, Daniel Santiago. He wonders to what extent Trump’s repeated vilification of certain minorities played a role.

More than 300 Trump-inspired harassment incidents reported by news outlets from 2016-2019

Anti-Hispanic: 45%

Anti-black: 23%

Anti-Semitic: 7%

Anti-Muslim: 8%

Anti-LGBT: 4%

Anti-Trump: 14%

Note: Some incidents targeted multiple groups and, in other cases, the ethnicity/gender/religion of the intended target was unclear. Figures may not precisely add up because of rounding.

“When the president goes on TV and is saying things like Mexicans are rapists, Mexicans are criminals — these children don’t have the cognitive ability to say, ‘He’s just playing the role of a politician,’ ” Santiago argued. “The language that he’s using matters.” Ruiz’s son, who is now seeing a therapist, continues to endure nightmares from an experience that may take years to overcome. But experts say that discriminatory language can, on its own, harm children, especially those of color who may already feel marginalized. “It causes grave damage, as much physical as psychological,” said Elsa Barajas, who has counseled more than 1,000 children in her job at the Los Angeles Department of Mental Health. As a result, she has seen Hispanic students suffer from sleeplessness, lose interest in school, and experience inexplicable stomach pain and headaches.

For Ashanty Bonilla, the damage began with the response to a single tweet she shared 10 months ago. “Unpopular opinion,” Ashanty, then 16 and a sophomore at Lewiston High School in rural Idaho, wrote on April 9. “People who support Trump and go to Mexico for vacation really piss me off. Sorry not sorry.” Some of Ashanty Bonilla’s classmates at Lewiston High in rural Idaho harassed her last April after she tweeted a comment critical of Trump supporters. (Rajah Bose/For The Washington Post) A schoolmate, who is white, took a screen shot of her tweet and posted it to Snapchat, along with a Confederate flag. “Unpopular opinion but: people that are from Mexico and come in to America illegally or at all really piss me off,” he added in a message that spread rapidly among students. The next morning, as Ashanty arrived at school, half a dozen boys, including the one who had written the message, stood nearby. “You’re illegal. Go back to Mexico,” she heard one of them say. “F--- Mexicans.” Ashanty, shaken but silent, walked past as a friend yelled at the boys to shut up. In a 33,000-person town that is 94 percent white, Ashanty, whose father is half-black and whose mother is Mexican American, had always worked to fit in. She attended every football game and won a school spirit award as a freshman. She straightened her hair and dyed it blond, hoping to look more like her friends. “It’s gotten way worse since Trump got elected. They hear it. They think it’s okay. The president says it. . . . Why can’t they?”

— Ashanty Bonilla

She had known those boys who’d heckled her since they were little. For her 15th birthday the year before, some had danced at her quinceañera. A friend drove her off campus for lunch, but when they pulled back into the parking lot, Ashanty spotted people standing around her car. A rope had been tied from the back of the Honda Pilot to a pickup truck. “Republican Trump 2020,” someone had written in the dust on her back window. Hands trembling, Ashanty tried to untie the rope but couldn’t. She heard the laughing, sensed the cellphone cameras pointed at her. She began to weep. Lewiston’s principal, Kevin Driskill, said he and his staff met with the boys they knew were involved, making clear that “we have zero tolerance for any kind of actions like that.” The incidents, he suspected, stemmed mostly from ignorance. “Our lack of diversity probably comes with a lack of understanding,” Driskill said, but he added that he’s encouraged by the school district’s recent creation of a community group — following racist incidents on other campuses — meant to address those issues. That effort came too late for Ashanty. Some friends supported her, but others told her the boys were just joking. Don’t ruin their lives. She seldom attended classes the last month of school. That summer, she started having migraines and panic attacks. In August, amid her spiraling despair, Ashanty swallowed 27 pills from a bottle of antidepressants. A helicopter rushed her to a hospital in Spokane, Wash., 100 miles away. After that, she began seeing a therapist and, along with the friend who defended her, transferred to another school. Sometimes, she imagines how different life might be had she never written that tweet, but Ashanty tries not to blame herself and has learned to take more pride in her heritage. She just wishes the president understood the harm his words inflict. Even Trump’s last name has become something of a slur to many children of color, whether they’ve heard it shouted at them in hallways or, in her case, seen it written on the back window of a car. “It means,” she said, “you don’t belong.”

Georgia Clark taught English at Amon Carter-Riverside High School in Fort Worth, where a student accused her of racism. (Allison V. Smith/For The Washington Post) Three weeks into the 2018-19 school year, Miracle Slover's English teacher, she alleges, ordered black and Hispanic students to sit in the back of the classroom at their Fort Worth high school. At the time, Miracle was a junior. Georgia Clark, her teacher at Amon Carter-Riverside, often brought up Trump, Miracle said. He was a good person, she told the class, because he wanted to build a wall. “Every day was something new with immigration,” said Miracle, now 18, who has a black mother and a mixed-race father. “That Trump needs to take [immigrants] away. They do drugs, they bring drugs over here. They cause violence.” Some students tried to film Clark, and others complained to administrators, but none of it made a difference, Miracle said. Clark, an employee of the Fort Worth system since 1998, kept talking. Clark, who denies the teenager’s allegations, is one of more than 30 educators across the country accused of using the president’s name or rhetoric to harass students since he announced his candidacy, the Post analysis found. In Clark’s class, Miracle stayed quiet until late spring 2019. That day, she walked in wearing her hair “puffy,” split into two high buns. Clark, she said, told her it looked “nappy, like Marge off ‘The Simpsons.’ ” Unable to smother an angry reply, Miracle landed in the principal’s office. An administrator asked her to write a witness statement, and in it, she finally let go, scrawling her frustration across seven pages. “I just got tired of it,” she said. “I wrote a ton.” Still, Miracle said, school officials took no action until six weeks later, when Clark, 69, tweeted at Trump — in what she thought were private messages — requesting help deporting undocumented immigrants in Fort Worth schools. The posts went viral, drawing national condemnation. Clark was fired. “Every day was something new with immigration. That Trump needs to take [immigrants] away. They do drugs, they bring drugs over here. They cause violence.”

— Miracle Slover, referring to Georgia Clark, her former English teacher

Not always, though, are offenders removed from the classroom. The day after the 2016 election, Donnie Jones Jr.’s daughter was walking down a hallway at her Florida high school when, she says, a teacher warned her and two friends — all sophomores, all black — that Trump would “send you back to Africa.” The district suspended the teacher for three days and transferred him to another school. Just a few days later in California, a physical education teacher told a student that he would be deported under Trump. Two years ago in Maine, a substitute teacher referenced the president’s wall and promised a Lebanese American student, “You’re getting kicked out of my country.” More than a year later in Texas, a school employee flashed a coin bearing the word “ICE” at a Hispanic student. “Trump,” he said, “is working on a law where he can deport you.” Sometimes, Jones said, he doesn’t recognize America. “People now will say stuff that a couple of years ago they would not dare say,” Jones argued. He fears what his two youngest children, ages 11 and 9, might hear in their school hallways, especially if Trump is reelected. Now a senior, Miracle doesn’t regret what she wrote about Clark. Although the furor that followed forced Miracle to switch schools and quit her beloved dance team, she would do it again, she said. Clark’s punishment, her public disgrace, was worth it. About a week before Miracle’s 18th birthday, her mother checked Facebook to find a flurry of notifications. Friends were messaging to say that Clark had appealed her firing, and that the Texas education commissioner had intervened. Reluctant to spoil the birthday, Jowona Powell waited several days to tell her daughter, who doesn’t use social media. Citing a minor misstep in the school board’s firing process, the commissioner had ordered Carter-Riverside to pay Clark one year’s salary — or give the former teacher her job back.

A snapshot of the harassment in 2019

In the three months after the president tweeted on July 14, 2019, that four minority congresswomen should "go back” to the countries they came from, more than a dozen incidents of Trump-related school bullying — including several that used his exact language — were reported in the press.

Mahtomedi High School & Como Park Senior High School

During a soccer game, students taunted a majority Asian-American team (which also included at least one Hispanic player) by telling them to go back to their countries and calling them "Asian food names."

Baldwin High School & Piper High School

During a volleyball game, students told black players on the court to go back to where they came from and made monkey noises at them.

Barack and Michelle Obama Ninth Grade Center

After a 14-year-old failed to address a staffer with "Yes, sir," the man showed the student a coin with "ICE" written on it and said, "Even though you are a citizen, Trump is working on a law where he can deport you, too, because of your mom’s status." The man later lost his job.

Everett Alvarez High School

In an apparent prank against a schoolmate, students created a fake Twitter account — which praised Adolf Hitler and Trump in its bio — and tweeted out racist remarks against a black high school coach.

Frontier High School

Students waving "Make America Great Again" flags disrupted a meeting of the school's Gay Straight Alliance, breaking up the gathering by shouting slurs before following the group's members to the parking lot.

Edward Little High School

Students yelled "Build the wall!" and "Ban Muslims!" as a 16-year-old Muslim girl walked through the hallways.

A 16-year-old student was arrested after posting on social media -- shortly after the deadly mass shootings in Dayton and El Paso — a photo of a pickup displaying a Trump flag, a Confederate flag and several guns. He captioned the post, "west harrison ain't ready for round 2."

Fans told one Hispanic player on the opposing team to “go back to your country” and called others “f---ing beaner” and "wetback" during a soccer game.

During a game in which a student was accused of using a racial slur againt a black player, fans also waved a Trump sign and chanted "America" when their team scored.

Cheerleaders from a largely white school held up a sign that read "Make America Great Again" and "Trump the Leopards" before a football game against a much more diverse school.

Before a football game, players ran through a banner reading "Make America Great Again Trump Those Patriots," triggering a backlash.

At least two minority students were bullied — in separate incidents — because the district allowed students to display a Trump banner at a high school football game, according to parents and school board members.

After students painted the school rock with rainbows to celebrate National Coming Out Day, someone painted over it with "Trump 2020," "MAGA 2020," "NRA" and an expletive. Later, two students — one black, one white — got into a fight about the issue.

During a soccer game, students taunted a majority Asian-American team (which also included at least one Hispanic player) by telling them to go back to their countries and calling them "Asian food names."

During a volleyball game, students told black players on the court to go back to where they came from and made monkey noises at them.

After a 14-year-old failed to address a staffer with "Yes, sir," the man showed the student a coin with "ICE" written on it and said, "Even though you are a citizen, Trump is working on a law where he can deport you, too, because of your mom’s status." The man later lost his job.

In an apparent prank against a schoolmate, students created a fake Twitter account — which praised Adolf Hitler and Trump in its bio — and tweeted out racist remarks against a black high school coach. Jordyn Covington stood when she heard the jeers. “Monkeys!” “You don’t belong here.” “Go back to where you came from!” From atop the bleachers that day in October, Jordyn, 15, could see her Piper High School volleyball teammates on the court in tears. The sobbing varsity players were all black, all from Kansas City, Kan., like her. Who was yelling? Jordyn wondered. She peered at the students in the opposing section. Most of them were white. “It was just sad,” said Jordyn, who plays for Piper’s junior varsity team. “And why? Why did it have to happen to us? We weren’t doing anything. We were simply playing volleyball.” Go back? To where? Jordyn, her friends and Piper’s nine black players were all born in the United States. “Just like everyone else,” Jordyn said. “Just like white people.” “It was just sad. And why? Why did it have to happen to us? We weren’t doing anything. We were simply playing volleyball.” The game, played at an overwhelmingly white rural high school, came three months after Trump tweeted that four minority congresswomen should “go back” to the “totally broken and crime infested places from which they came.” It was Jordyn’s first experience with racism, she said. But it was not the first time that fans at a school sports game had used the president to target students of color.

The Post found that players, parents or fans have used his name or words in at least 48 publicly reported cases, hurling hateful slogans at students competing in elementary, middle and high school games in 26 states. The venom has been shouted on football gridirons and soccer fields, on basketball and volleyball courts. Nearly 90 percent of incidents identified by The Post targeted players and fans of color, or teams fielded by schools with large minority populations. More than half focused on Hispanics.

In one of the earliest examples, students at a Wisconsin high school soccer game in April 2016 chanted “Trump, build a wall!” at black and Hispanic players. A few months later, students at a high school basketball game in Missouri turned their backs and hoisted a Trump/Pence campaign sign as the majority-black opposing team walked onto the court. In 2017, two high school girls in Alabama showed up at a football game pep rally with a sign reading “Put the Panic back in Hispanic” and a “Trump Make America Great Again” banner. In late 2017, two radio hosts announcing a high school basketball game in Iowa were caught on a hot mic describing Hispanic players as “español people.” “As Trump would say,” one broadcaster suggested, “go back where they came from.” Both announcers were fired. After the volleyball incident in Kansas, though, the fallout was more muted. The opposing school district, Baldwin City, commissioned an investigation and subsequently asserted that there was “no evidence” of racist jeers. Administrators from Piper’s school system dismissed that claim and countered with a statement supporting their students. An hour after the game, Jordyn fought to keep her eyes dry as she boarded the team bus home. When white players insisted that everything would be okay, she slipped in ear buds and selected “my mood playlist,” a collection of somber nighttime songs. She wiped her cheeks. Jordyn had long ago concluded that Trump didn’t want her — or “anyone who is just not white” — in the United States. But hearing other students shout it was different. Days later, her English teacher assigned an essay asking about “what’s right and what’s wrong.” At first, Jordyn thought she might write about the challenges transgender people face. Then she had another idea. “The students were making fun of us because we were different, like our hair and skin tone,” Jordyn wrote. “How are you gonna be mad at me and my friends for being black. . . . I love myself and so should all of you.” She read it aloud to the class. She finished, then looked up. Everyone began to applaud.

It's not just young Trump supporters who torment classmates because of who they are or what they believe. As one boy in North Carolina has come to understand, kids who oppose the president — kids like him — can be just as vicious. By Gavin Trump’s estimation, nearly everyone at his middle school in Chapel Hill comes from a Democratic family. So when the kids insist on calling him by his last name — even after he demands that they stop — the 13-year-old knows they want to provoke him, by trying to link the boy to the president they despise. In fifth grade, classmates would ask if he was related to the president, knowing he wasn’t. They would insinuate that Gavin agreed with the president on immigration and other polarizing issues. “They saw my last name as Trump, and we all hate Trump, so it was like, ‘We all hate you,’ ” he said. “I was like, ‘Why are you teasing me? I have no relationship to Trump at all. We just ended up with the same last name.’ ” Beyond kids like Gavin, the Post analysis also identified dozens of children across the country who were bullied, or even assaulted, because of their allegiance to the president. School staff members in at least 18 states, from Washington to West Virginia, have picked on students for wearing Trump gear or voicing support for him. Among teenagers, the confrontations have at times turned physical. A high school student in Northern California said that after she celebrated the 2016 election results on social media, a classmate accused her of hating Mexicans and attacked her, leaving the girl with a bloodied nose. Last February, a teenager at an Oklahoma high school was caught on video ripping a Trump sign out of a student’s hands and knocking a red MAGA cap off his head. And in the nation’s capital — where only 4 percent of voters cast ballots for Trump in 2016 — an outspoken conservative teenager said she had to leave her prestigious public school because she felt threatened. In a YouTube video, Jayne Zirkle, a high school senior, said that the trouble started when classmates at the School Without Walls discovered an online photo of her campaigning for Trump. She said students circulated the photo, harassed her online and called her a white supremacist. A D.C. school system official said they investigated the allegations and allowed Jayne to study from home to ensure she felt safe. “A lot of people who I thought were my best friends just all of a sudden totally turned their backs on me,” Jayne said. “People wouldn’t even look at me or talk to me.” For Gavin, the teasing began in fourth grade, soon after Trump announced his candidacy. After more than a year of schoolyard taunts, Gavin decided to go by his mother’s last name, Mather, when he started middle school. The teenager has been proactive, requesting that teachers call him by the new name, but it gets trickier, and more stressful, when substitutes fill in. He didn’t legally change his last name, so “Trump” still appears on the roster. The teasing has subsided, but the switch wasn’t easy. Gavin likes his real last name and feared that changing it would hurt his father’s feelings. His dad understood, but for Gavin, the guilt remains. “This is my name,” he said. “And I am abandoning my name.”

Maritza Avalos knows what's coming. It's 2020. The next presidential election is nine months away. She remembers what happened during the last one, when she was just 11. “Pack your bags,” kids told her. “You get a free trip to Mexico.” She’s now a freshman at Kamiakin High, the same Washington state school where her older sister, Cielo, confronted the teenagers who chanted “Build the wall” at a football game in late 2018. Maritza, 14, assumes the taunts that accompanied Trump’s last campaign will intensify with this one, too. “I try not to think about it,” she said, but for educators nationwide, the ongoing threat of politically charged harassment has been impossible to ignore. In response, schools have canceled mock elections, banned political gear, trained teachers, increased security, formed student-led mediation groups and created committees to develop anti-discrimination policies.

In California, the staff at Riverside Polytechnic High School has been preparing for this year’s presidential election since the day after the last one. On Nov. 9, 2016, counselors held a workshop in the library for students to share their feelings. Trump supporters feared they would be singled out for their beliefs, while girls who had heard the president brag about sexually assaulting women worried that boys would be emboldened to do the same to them. “We treated it almost like a crisis,” said Yuri Nava, a counselor who has since helped expand a student club devoted to improving the school’s culture and climate. Riverside, which is 60 percent Hispanic, also offers three courses — African American, Chicano and ethnic studies — meant to help students better understand one another, Nava said. And instead of punishing students when they use race or politics to bully, counselors first try to bring them together with their victims to talk through what happened. Often, they leave as friends.

In Gambrills, Md., Arundel High School has taken a similar approach. Even before a student was caught scribbling the n-word in his notebook in early 2017, Gina Davenport, the principal, worried about the effect of the election’s rhetoric. At the school, where about half of the 2,200 students are minorities, she heard their concerns every day. But the racist slur, discovered the same month as Trump’s inauguration, led to a concrete response. A “Global Community Citizenship” class, now mandatory for all freshmen in the district, pushes students to explore their differences. A recent lesson delved into Trump’s use of Twitter. “The focus wasn’t Donald Trump, the focus was listening: How do we convey our ideas in order for someone to listen?” Davenport said. “We teach that we can disagree with each other without walking away being enemies — which we don’t see play out in the press, or in today’s political debates.”

Since the class debuted in fall 2017, disciplinary referrals for disruption and disrespect have decreased by 25 percent each school year, Davenport said. Membership in the school’s speech and debate team has doubled. The course has eased Davenport’s anxiety heading into the next election. She doesn’t expect an uptick in racist bullying. “Civil conversation,” she said. “The kids know what that means now.” Many schools haven’t made such progress, and on those campuses, students are bracing for more abuse. Maritza’s sister, Cielo, told her to stand up for herself if classmates use Trump’s words to harass her, but Maritza is quieter than her sibling. The freshman doesn’t like confrontation. She knows, though, that eventually someone will say something — about the wall, maybe, or about how kids who look like her don’t belong in this country — and when that day comes, the girl hopes that she’ll be strong.

[newstfionline]

Headlines

Canada requires air passengers to wear masks to curb coronavirus (Reuters) Transport Canada said on Friday that all airline passengers would be required to wear a non-medical mask or face covering during travel to curb the spread of coronavirus. The regulator said travellers must cover their mouth and nose during the boarding process and flights. The rule goes into effect at noon ET on Monday.

Record government, corporate debt could lead to ‘tipping point’ after pandemic passes (Washington Post) The federal government is on its way this year to spending $4 trillion more than it collects in revenue, analysts say. The reliance on so much debt will leave scars after the pandemic passes, economists say, making it difficult for policymakers to withdraw support and leaving the economy more vulnerable than before this crisis began.

Pandemic provokes spike in demand for food pantries in US (AP) Brooklyn Dotson needed food. Her first unemployment check had yet to arrive after she was let go by the warehouse where she used to work. So the 25-year-old Nashville woman scrounged up some gas money and drove 30 miles (48 kilometers) to the GraceWorks Ministries food pantry in Franklin. There, at the pantry’s new drive-thru, workers wearing masks and gloves loaded her van with about $350 worth of groceries. “I don’t have any income coming in, I don’t get any food stamps, so it’s just hard to get any help right now,” Dotson said while waiting in line at GraceWorks. Food pantries stay busy even in the best of economic times; the coronavirus pandemic has prompted a spike in demand as millions of people like Dotson find themselves furloughed, laid off or with businesses that have suffered huge financial blows. “About 50% of the people coming through our lines have never been here before,” said GraceWorks President and CEO Valencia A. Breckenridge.

Zoom marriages are now legal in New York, Cuomo says (AP) In the coronavirus pandemic, there are Zoom happy hours, Zoom concerts, Zoom classrooms--even Zoom “Saturday Night Live” episodes. And now, in New York, there will be Zoom weddings. Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo (D) on Saturday issued an executive order allowing residents to get marriage licenses remotely and permitting clerks to perform ceremonies via video conference. “There is now no excuse when the question comes up for marriage,” he said at a coronavirus press briefing. “You can do it by Zoom.”

Teachers on TV: Classes hit the airwaves during pandemic (AP) Using his cat’s blanket as green screen, history teacher Bill Smith recorded himself teaching a lesson on New Jersey’s underground railroad, taking student viewers on a tour of sites including a river where slave hunters would try to reenslave people attempting crossings. The lesson was broadcast over television airwaves for the state’s homebound students, part of an effort to keep children engaged in learning during the coronavirus outbreak. Teachers have begun recording classes at home, using whatever technology they can, for television in places including New Jersey, Nebraska and New Mexico, where officials have partnered with broadcasters to help students feel connected and to overcome hurdles with access to the technology needed for distance learning. It’s one approach among many that public media stations around the country are taking to boost the availability of educational programming while schools are closed.

Virus snarls global drug trade (AP) Coronavirus is dealing a gut punch to the illegal drug trade, paralyzing economies, closing borders and severing supply chains in China that traffickers rely on for the chemicals to make such profitable drugs as methamphetamine and fentanyl. Associated Press interviews with nearly two dozen law enforcement officials and trafficking experts found Mexican and Colombian cartels are still plying their trade as evidenced by recent drug seizures but the lockdowns that have turned cities into ghost towns are disrupting everything from production to transport to sales. Along the 2,000-mile U.S.-Mexico border through which the vast majority of illegal drugs cross, the normally bustling vehicle traffic that smugglers use for cover has slowed to a trickle. Bars, nightclubs and motels across the country that are ordinarily fertile marketplaces for drug dealers have shuttered. And prices for drugs in short supply have soared to gouging levels. “They are facing a supply problem and a demand problem,” said Alejandro Hope, a security analyst and former official with CISEN, the Mexican intelligence agency. “Once you get them to the market, who are you going to sell to?”

Coronavirus outbreaks at Mexico’s hospitals raise alarm, protests (Washington Post) The coronavirus outbreak in Mexico’s steel capital started at the very place that was supposed to help stop it. Social Security Hospital No. 7, a towering 240-bed facility, is the main public medical center in the northern city of Monclova. But when a 42-year-old truck driver arrived with pneumonia-like symptoms last month, the hospital didn’t isolate him. Within two weeks, he was dead of covid-19. Soon, a doctor and administrator had also perished. Ultimately, 41 employees of the hospital wound up testing positive for the virus. It was the first in a series of outbreaks at hospitals that have rattled Mexicans and raised questions about the Social Security Institute, the country’s biggest public health network. Nurses and doctors have held protests around the country. The governor of Baja California, Jaime Bonilla, lashed out at federal authorities for the lack of protective gear in his border state, saying doctors were “dropping like flies.” Medical personnel in other pandemic hot spots, such as Italy and Spain, have also expressed outrage about working without proper equipment. But Mexico is particularly vulnerable, because it has many fewer doctors and nurses per capita.

Pope Francis says ‘selfish indifference’ in pandemic response would be worse than virus itself (AP) Pope Francis, the leader of the Catholic Church, ventured outside the Vatican for the first time in more than a month to give a sermon this Divine Mercy Sunday. At the Santo Spirito in Sassia church in Rome, the pope spoke at length about the coronavirus pandemic and inequality, warning that forgetting the less fortunate during a recovery would be a “worse virus” than the outbreak itself. “The risk is that we may then be struck by an even worse virus, that of selfish indifference,” Francis said, according to a translation from Crux. This attitude is spread “by the thought that life is better if it is better for me, and that everything will be fine if it is fine for me,” he continued. He added that the “time has come to eliminate inequalities, to heal the injustice that is undermining the health of the entire human family.”

10 African Countries Have No Ventilators. That’s Only Part of the Problem. (NYT) South Sudan, a nation of 11 million, has more vice presidents (five) than ventilators (four). The Central African Republic has three ventilators for its five million people. In Liberia, which is similar in size, there are six working machines--and one of them sits behind the gates of the United States Embassy. In all, fewer than 2,000 working ventilators have to serve hundreds of millions of people in public hospitals across 41 African countries, the World Health Organization says, compared with more than 170,000 in the United States. Ten countries in Africa have none at all. Many experts are worried about chronic shortages of much more basic supplies needed to slow the spread of the disease and treat the sick on the continent--things like masks, oxygen and, even more fundamentally, soap and water. Clean running water and soap are in such short supply that only 15 percent of sub-Saharan Africans had access to basic hand-washing facilities in 2015, according to the United Nations. In Liberia, it is even worse--97 percent of homes did not have clean water and soap in 2017, the U.N. says. “The things that people need are simple things,” said Kalipso Chalkidou, the director of global health policy at the Center for Global Development, a research group. “Not high-tech things.”

[homiegeesus]

The Year of Magical Thinking, Ch. 2

Summary: Francis Sinclair believed Arthur Morgan had not finished living. In a second chance at life, Arthur discovers what it means to love himself.

At the edge of a precipice and nowhere to run, Arthur concedes defeat. In an extraordinary turn of events, he is sent through the ether to another time where his path crosses with a group not too unlike his own family. After discovering the fate of those he loved before, he races to find a way back. But what if he realizes that there is something worth staying for in this new world? Can two people separated by nearly a hundred and twenty years of living find their happily ever after?

AO3 Link

The Year of Magical Thinking

Chapter 2 - Spelunking, and Other Wacky Ideas

Somewhere in East Texas – August 2018

It was hot. Typical for this time of year, but this heat was on another level oppressive. Surrounded by tall pines and thick shrubbery, there wasn’t much of a breeze. Dr. Steven Nichols removed his aviators and wiped his brow. God, what he wouldn’t give to work in a cubicle with glorious air conditioning right now. As it were, he was stuck on a worksite at a cave in the middle of bumfuck-nowhere Texas. Deep down, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

An anthropologist by trade, since leaving graduate school he had been researching a series of interesting rock carvings discovered in the late 1930s to early 1950s. Found all throughout the country, one even in Mexico, they had baffled the most seasoned scientists. Originally abandoned and nearly forgotten, that is until a mysterious benefactor funded their little department at Blackwater College. With that funding came a series of government grants that had the operation surviving somewhat comfortably. It became apparent that whoever this person was, they were well connected.

Grabbing the front of his white t-shirt, Steven tried fruitlessly to generate some cool air. Nick was going to flay him alive for most likely ruining yet another shirt. His fiancé was nothing if not particular about his dressings-down. Tempted to grab the closest water bottle and pour it down his front, he watched as one of his student-assistants walked towards him.

“Got the lights set up if you want to go in.” Sweat dewing at his upper lip, Jeremy looked about as miserable as Steven felt.

“Thank you, sir,” Steven replied airily as he hopped up from his perch on a picnic table and tucked his sunglasses into the collar of his shirt. He squinted. “Is it at least a little cooler in there?”

“More humid, but yeah, quite a bit cooler,” Jeremy shrugged.

Steven just smiled, “Take what you can get, am I right?” He placed a hardhat on his sweaty mahogany-haired head then began the short trek to the cave entrance.

“Oh,” Jeremy called out, and Steven turned to face him. “I’m gonna head into town real quick to grab some lunch. You want anything?”

“Uh –,” Steven furrowed his brow and bowed his head in thought. He looked back to Jeremy, “Ooh, get me somethin’ from Taco Bell. A, uh – oh, a big burrito. Doesn’t matter which one.”

Jeremy laughed, “Nick gonna be alright with that?”

Steven just gave the kid a bright smile and said, “Nick can kiss my ass.” He turned again towards the cave.

Jeremy called after him, “You sure you’re gonna be okay alone?” Steven just raised an arm with a thumb’s up.

“I’ll be fine. Now, go get lunch.”

Walking through the entrance, and true to Jeremy’s word Steven felt the cool, damp air wash over him. Stopping at the fork where the cavern split into two directions, he took a moment to wipe the sweat from his face with the bottom of his shirt. As he prepared to restart his journey, he heard what sounded like a gust of wind come through the narrow corridor to his right. Odd, he thought, since the hall led to a small chamber with no exits or vents. Brushing it off, he began his walk through the passage. This time, a sound, unnatural in its characteristics, entered his ears causing him to halt. Steven quickly reached to turn on the headlamp attached to his hardhat. Seeing nothing except thick electrical cables and darkness beyond the scope of his light, he held his breath and turned his ear fractionally toward the source of the noise. Again, a tinkling sound reverberated lightly along the cave walls.

Thoroughly creeped out and thinking of turning back, Steven called out unsure, “Hello?”

When the echo of quick shuffling sounded out, Steven shrinked back. “Who’s there?” In a series of jerky movements, he tried to shine the light anywhere and everywhere. Then, as if in cadence with the beating of his heart, heavy footfalls combined with the same tinkling noise inched quickly closer. Steven’s fight or flight instinct seemingly left him at that moment, as he stood rooted in the spot, unable to move. Until a shadowy figure appeared in his line of sight.

“Jesus Christ!” Shocked, Steven jumped back, falling against the cave wall behind him. The shadowy figure, a man to be precise, then became more detailed. Steven first noticed his peculiar attire. Dressed in dirty western wear, the man at first glance looked like a John Wayne caricature. If not for the setting, Steven would have laughed at the absurdity. “What the hell, man! What’re you doing in here?!” Then, he noticed the gun. “The hell – ”

The man seemed to catch on and slowly raised his hands halfway. “I ain’t gonna hurt ya,” a deep voice echoed through the corridor. “I jus’ – well you see, mister, I am slightly confused.”

Steven scoffed, “You? You’re ‘slightly confused’? How in the hell did you get in here? We’ve had it closed off – ”

“Mister, I do not rightly know. I cannot even begin to explain.” The strange man looked around, and then back to Steven, “Where we at?”

Confused, Steven replied, “Wha – ”

Cutting him off, the man tilted his hands forward slightly, “Jus’, please, humor me.”

Growing even more uncomfortable, Steven responded, “Uh, Texas. We’re in East Texas.”

“Texas?” he questioned, sounding disbelieving. “Tha’s impossible. I was just in Roanoke Valley, in New Hanover – ”

“New Hanover?” Steven exhaled a laugh. “There hasn’t been a New Hanover in like, a hundred years.”

Silence engulfed the hall. The stranger audibly swallowed and shifted on his feet.

“What, uh – what year is it?” He asked quietly.

“What are you playing at, man? Is this a joke, or something?” In obvious frustration, the stranger took a step forward and Steven shrunk back once more. Seemingly noticing the frightened look on the other man’s face, the cowboy raised his hands higher and curled each into fists. He closed his eyes and clinched his jaw.

“Jus’ please.” Feeling an odd sense of sympathy, Steven relaxed slightly at the small desperate tone.

Steven responded in a similar way, “It’s 2018. Um, August.” A little louder, he expanded, “August 15th, 2018.”

The cowboy looked to the side, his clinched jaw slackened.

“Jesus Christ,” he sighed.

Not knowing what to say to that, Steven went for the basics. “What’s your name?” He offered lamely.

“Arthur Morgan,” he replied, distracted.

Without thinking, Steven joked, “Right, and I’m Billy the Kid.”

The man finally turned his eyes to him. “I seen Billy the Kid, an’ you don’ much look like ‘em. Additionally, I believe he is dead,” he shot back, tone dripping with sarcasm.

“Right,” Steven nodded and volleyed the sarcastic tone back at him. “If you’re the –,” he gestured wildly in the air, “famed outlaw Arthur Morgan, then how did ya end up here?” Maneuvering his arms into a questioning stance, he awaited an answer.

The man’s eyes narrowed fractionally. Steven’s confidence dropped with his arms. ‘Arthur’ just let out a sigh, “Look, I’ll tell ya everythin’, can ya jus’ please get that light outta my eyes? I’ll show ya the carvin’s I – “

“Wait, carvings?” Steven said quickly.

“Yeah, ‘car-vings’,” he enunciated. “I’m assumin’ that’s what yer here for, considerin’ the lights I saw back there?” He pointed a thumb over his shoulder towards the chamber behind him.

“Uh, yeah it is.” Steven’s brow furrowed, “I meant, what do they have to do with – ”

“Mister, like I said,” he gritted out, patience obviously wearing thin, “I’ll tell ya everythin’; show ya what happen’d.”

All was quiet as Steven studied the man. “Look, my assistant is coming back soon, and – ”

“Please.”

Said so quietly, Steven could feel as desperation came off the man in waves, and something inside said to hear him out.

He sighed, “Okay, just please – please don’t shoot me or attack me or whatever a crazy dude in a cave might want to do to me, okay?”

The cowboy stood straighter and cocked a slight one-sided grin, “I ain’t gonna hurtcha.”

Steven stared a moment and then nodded. “Alright then,” he stuck out his hand in an abortive gesture. “Lead the way.” With a nod, the stranger turned and started walking.

“You gotta name?” He asked unexpectedly.

“Uh, yeah. Steven. Steven Nichols.” He amended, “Dr. Steven Nichols.”

The man hummed, “Doctor, huh?”

“Yeah,” he quickly elucidated, “I have a doctorate in anthropology.”

“What’s that now?” He sounded confused.

“Anthropology. Um, it’s the study of humans, in a broad sense. There are multiple fields,” Steven explained.

The cowboy just hummed in reply.

Steven continued, “Like I, personally, am an archaeologist with a focus in parietal – um, cave art.”

“Heh, I knew a scientist once. Well, a couple, but this lady in particular was somethin’. Kinda batty but meant well. She was diggin’ up dinosaur bones.” The man shook his head, “Wonder if she ended up findin’ ‘em.”

Curious, Steven asked, “What was her name?”

The cowboy pondered, “Oh, MacGuiness somethin’ or other.”

Steven laughed and looked over at the other man, “MacGuiness? Deborah MacGuiness?”

He nodded, “Yup, tha’s the one.” The corridor gradually gave way to a larger but still intimate room. Work lights cast the flowstone in the rear of the chamber in a muted orange tint. The pièce de résistance, however, was the large carving illuminated on the wall sat between two rock columns. The men stopped within feet of the insculpture. Steven removed his hardhat and looked back at him.

“You know of Deborah MacGuiness?” He asked incredulously.

“Mmhmm,” the stranger ran a thumb over the stubble of his chin. “Met ‘er, oh, I reckon it was in New Hanover thereabouts.” He looked to Steven, “In 1899.”

Deborah MacGuiness was ‘batty’ by all accounts but well respected by modern paleontologists. Unfortunately, women of the time were not taken seriously in a field dominated by men. She may have had some outlandish ideas, but many of her hypotheses were proven in the decades that followed her death from Spanish flu in 1918. Steven still could not believe this man actually knew her. He was a scientist, for Christ’s sake. He needed proof.

Steven started, “So, you were going to tell me how you ended up here?”

The other man nodded. “Well –,” he looked to the carvings, “I was knockin’ on death’s door, dyin’, an’ this feller I met awhile back showed up from God knows where. He took me to a cave with these carvin’s o’er near Roanoke Valley. Don’t know wh – ”

“Wait, what?” Steven interrupted. He furrowed his brow and held up a hand, “A carving in Roanoke Valley? In Appalachia?”

Arthur nodded, “I reckon.”

Steven huffed out a humorless laugh, “There aren’t any carvings in the southeast. Well, I mean, we haven’t found any, at least.” He was quiet a moment, and the other man just looked at him in waiting. “Ok, so let’s say that I maybe – maybe,” he emphasized, “believe you. Would you be able to find this cave on a map?”

The cowboy again nodded, “I reckon I could. I don’ know exactly whereabouts it is, but I reckon I could look.”

“Okay. Okay,” Steven replied, more to himself than Arthur. He glanced from the carving to the man beside him. “What else happened?”

Arthur continued, “So, this feller took me to this cave. Again, I’m dyin’, an’ he drags me to this carvin’. I remembered it lookin’ like the others I found for ‘em.”

“Do you remember what it looked like?” Steven asked.

“Like I said, I was very sick an’ waitin’ to die. I ain’t sure – it ain’t too clear.” He looked to the carving in front of him and shook his head, “It looked a lot like this, but different, ya know?”

Steven just nodded, “So, what happened when you got to the carving?”

“Well, Mr. Sinclair,” he looked to Steven. “That was the feller’s name, Francis Sinclair. Odd feller, with red hair an’ a birthmark over his eye.” He briefly pointed to the side of his face. “Had a funny way of talkin’. Said a bunch o’ words I ain’t never heard before. Anyways, he grabbed my wrists, an’ – now I’m in an’ out, can’t really understand what’s happenin’ or what he’s sayin’, but he grabs my hands an’ puts ‘em up against this carvin’. I dunno what in the hell happened or what he said, but –,” he then placed his hand against the wall, “this all started glowin’, like a blue color.” His arm dropped to his side. “Ain’t never seen anythin’ like it. Then, everythin’ went black.”

He was quiet a moment as if pondering something. He turned his eyes back to Steven and continued, “I saw my entire life flash ‘fore my eyes, like one a them picture shows.” A rueful smile formed on his face, “Trust me, Mister, I know how this sounds. Like somethin’ you’d read in a book by that English feller, but this is the God’s honest truth. Dunno how else to convince ya.”

Steven stared at him, slightly awed, as he absorbed the information. Then, something occurred to him.

“Your – Arthur Morgan’s,” he amended, “grave is a tourist trap on an interstate in Kentucky, or wherever. If you’re him, then –”

“Mister,” the cowboy laughed humorlessly, “I don’ know anythin’ ‘bout that, but I guaran-damn-tee ya there ain’t no body in that grave.”

Steven placed a hand over his eyes and held the other in the air. He sighed, “I gotta think.” He turned around and began the trek out of the cave, not caring if he was being followed.

[trysomecats]

Caught in a Web Part 5

Summary: Dan was offered to join Willow Grove Academy, Britain’s most prestigious and renowned private school, on a full scholarship. All of the other students are rich, unlike Dan who comes from a modern lower class society. Things become complicated when he lies about his background to Phil Lester, the most popular and richest boy in the school.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

The confession happened before the food had even arrived. They were at a small Italian restaurant with prices that were thankfully affordable. Dan viewed it as a small victory, considering that Phil was going to hate his guts when he revealed the fact that he was nothing but a pathetic liar.

Dan had initially planned on confessing before they even went inside the restaurant, but it was hard to interrupt Phil’s bright eyes and cheerful babbling. It was only after they had sat down at their table and ordered drinks when he spoke the truth.

“-and we can go on vacation together when our next school breaks comes around. I figured the four of us could go somewhere new, an adventure, you know? There’s this place in America called Roswell - it’s in New Mexico I think - and there’s this conspiracy theory that aliens landed there one time. And it got me thinking that we could go there and, well, who knows, maybe-”

“I lied.”

“What’s that?” Phil asked, eyes still crinkled with happiness as he sipped his cider.

Dan’s mouth was dry. Despite this, once he began speaking, it was impossible to stop. He was a fly making his last stand before the spider came to kill him. Everything came pouring out, right there in the middle of the most expensive dinner he had ever eaten, with the first boy he had ever loved.

“I lied,” he repeated. “I lied about everything. My dad doesn’t work in India, he works in a shitty cubicle copying papers all day. I was never homeschooled, I went to public school instead. The headmaster at Willow Grove was feeling charitable and gave me a full scholarship to attend. I don’t have any money to my name, most of my clothes and games are second-hand. I’ve lied about everything, Phil, everything...”

‘I lied because I was scared you’d judge me,’ were Dan’s unspoken thoughts. ‘I lied because you were the first people besides Louis who talked to me, and I never had any friends before you, Pj, and Chris.’

Phil was staring at him, his mouth open. All traces of happiness were gone and replaced by obvious shock and anger. His eyes, usually so beautiful and blue, were wide and glinted darker than usual.

“I’m really sorry,” Dan spoke, when the silence became suffocating. He felt like he was going to vomit.

“I’d like for you to leave,” Phil finally spoke. His voice was so soft, but it sounded as if he struggled to get the words out. It was as if he were seething with anger on the inside, but trying desperately to keep calm on the outside. “I’d like for you to leave right now.”

Dan didn’t need to be told twice. He shoved his chair back and stood up quickly, knocking over his glass of sparkling cider. The waiter rushed over to help with the spill, but Dan only pushed passed him. People from nearby tables shot him glares as he ran through the restaurant and created disturbance, but he couldn’t have cared less.

He left without turning back, so that Phil wouldn’t see the tears streaming down his cheeks.

Somehow, word had got around by the time Dan went back to school the next day. He arrived at the very last minute, when the bell had already rung. There was no use coming early, because he knew that Phil would never talk to him again, and neither PJ nor Chris either. Oh God, he dreaded having to face Chris, who was easily the most tempered out of the trio.

Louise was one of the first people to give him an icy glare when he walked into French class.

“I guess I was wrong about you this whole time,” She spoke loud enough for the whole class to hear.

“I guess you were,” Dan found his words, but he didn’t dare look at her. His heart was pounding fast, and it took all of his willpower to remain seated rather than leaving the classroom.

Louise wasn’t done with him.

“You might not be rich, but you’re just as greedy and snotty as everyone else in this school! I didn’t take you as the kind of guy to use someone for their money. I mean, do you even have anything to say?”

“No,” Dan told her, his throat too tight. His hands clenched his pen tightly, and tears were pooling in his eyes once again. Before coming to school today he’d sworn to himself that he wouldn’t cry, but evidently that was not going to happen. “No, I don’t have anything to say Louise, so just don’t talk to me.”

She gladly took him up on that offer for the rest of French class, as well as Arithmetic too. In fact not one person offered him any sort of greeting. Joe made brief eye contact with him, but it wasn’t friendly, and Zoe didn’t look at him even once.

It took Dan a great amount of courage to step into his Advanced Literature classroom, and when he did, he immediately regretted it. His usual spot, the one next to Phil, was taken by another student who Dan recognized as Anthony Padilla. Phil didn’t even spare a glance at Dan, talking with Anthony as if he always sat there.

Dan’s face felt hot as he hurried to an empty seat in the back of the room. Phil might have not been looking at him, but the rest of the class certainly was. The entire school had obviously known by now about his lie.

But there was nothing more he could do; Dan knew that he had been slowly digging his own grave at Willow Academy from the very start. In a way, he had known from the beginning that sooner or later his life here would end in disaster.

Dan made it three days before everything became too much for him to handle. In his old school he had been used to being ignored, but this was a lot different. People who used to talk to him on a regular basis now either gave him the cold shoulder or blatant scorching glares.

After hours and hours of pleading with his mother, she had agreed to set up a meeting with the headmaster to discuss his transferring back to public school, but she wasn’t happy about it in the least.

Now he would be looked down upon in school and at home.

When lunchtime on Wednesday rolled around, he skipped it yet again to hide in the library. There was no way he could possibly eat; his stomach had felt too tight and uneasy every since PJ has discovered his secret.

His thoughts lingered back to the conversation he’d had with his mother this morning.

“This could completely change your future Dan,” She’d said with a shake of her head. “I hope you know what a wasted opportunity this will have been. And you won’t even tell me why! I was under the impression that you were coming to like Willow Grove....”

His breath felt too short as he thought about how badly he’d messed up. The look of pure disappointment on Phil’s face was impossible to forget about. Dan had been the cause of it….

Because that’s what he was, a disappointment. If he knew how to talk to people, or was smart of good looking, or had something to counter against his awkward, pathetic personality, then maybe things would be different. Maybe he would have been able to befriend Phil without having to lie. There were so many opportunities to confess early on, before the web had grown too big. But he had wasted those opportunities, and now the web was wound tightly across his throat, choking him.

Dan realized that he wasn’t in the library anymore. His feet were taking him down the winding hallways, so he could be somewhere alone, somewhere where he could hide forever…

His breath was still short as he reached the bathroom, and as soon as he reached a stall his stomach lurched. He heaved his meager breakfast into the toilet, over and over again until there was nothing left to come up, not even caring that the door was still wide open.

He felt shaky and his heartbeat was thunderous.

He wanted to be anywhere rather than here, but home was almost just as bad, and there was no safe place to go. His only comforts were Phil, Chris, and PJ, but he didn’t have them anymore, and now he couldn’t breathe.

An immeasurable amount of time passed before Dan became aware that someone was speaking to him.

“Dan? Hey- what’s the matter?”

“C-Cant-,” Dan struggled to find his voice, the dizziness becoming overwhelming at this point in time. “Can’t breathe, I-”

His stomach twisted again and he was back to dry heaving. His knuckles were white as they gripped the porcelain. There were black dots interfering with his vision, mingled with the hot tears that had built up in his eyes.

“Try to take some deep breaths Dan,” Chris encouraged, but his voice was distant and Dan could hardly focus on it. The voice became sharper and more desperate.  “Dan! Come on, you have to breathe!”

It was easier said than done.

“Fuck,” Chris was swearing, and Dan realized that he had collapsed onto his knees.

It took several minutes, but Dan managed to evade passing out. As soon as his breathing was back to normal, Chris took him by the arm and led him outside the school before he could protest.

Dan was completely silent during the whole ride to Chris’ house, and the other boy didn’t say anything to him. When they finally got inside, the mansion big and empty and unbearable, Chris sat him down on a sofa worth more than Dan’s house and handed him a bottle of water.

“Drink it,” Chris demanded, watching with sharp attentiveness until Dan had taken several gulps of the clear and refreshing liquid. Chris, meanwhile, had taken a seat next to him.

“Jesus, just look at you. When’s the last time you’ve slept?”

Dan spared him a response, because they both knew the answer to that one.

“You have to give me some answers Dan,” Chris finally said. “We both know that you didn’t lie to take advantage of us.”

What?

Dan looked up at Chris in confusion. “H-How do you know that?”

“Well, obviously I was pissed as fuck when Phil and PJ told me the truth about you. But then when I calmed down, I got to thinking about things. You never once asked for...well, anything. If you were really just friends with us for our wealth, surely you would have tried to get some, yeah?”

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Dan finally muttered after a moment of silence. “I lied, and that’s the real problem here.”

“It matters to me,” Chris said, folding his arms. “I want an answer, Dan.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Dan began to feel desperate for some sort of way out of this. “I mean, I don’t even know why I did it! I was an idiot, okay? I’d never been to such a fancy school before, with chandeliers and school lunches too expensive to afford! I didn’t have any friends in my old school, so I certainly didn’t expect to have friends at Willow Grove! When you guys actually started talking to me, poor insignificant me, I panicked! Does that answer your fucking question? Does it!?”

“Yeah,” Chris said sharply. “It does! Dan, you need to talk to Phil about this as soon as possible.”

“What are you talking about? Phil doesn’t want anything to do with me, and I completely understand why!”

“No Dan, you don’t get it. Phil loves you!” Christ took a hold of his shirt collar. “I don’t understand why you’re just letting everyone assume that you were after our money!”

Dan pulled away from him. “What’s the point of trying to explain? I lied!”

“But you didn’t lie to hurt us; you didn’t lie to hurt Phil!”

“It doesn’t matter Chris! The whole point is that I wasn’t honest with Phil, or any of you! I have a meeting with the headmaster tomorrow, so I can make arrangements to go back to my old school.”

“You can’t do that. Dan, you have to talk to Phil!”

“No I don’t!”

“Yes you do!” Chris said, gripping Dan’s sleeve so he couldn’t rise. “Besides, you have to whether you want to or not. I called him and told him about your panic attack, and he’s on his way now.”

i’m sorry for taking SEVERAL YEARS to update. If there’s anyone left who still remembers this ol’ fic, then you have my gratitude as well as my sincerest apologies! 

[nyadere]

Reposting this bc the link got messed up when I changed URLs!!

My all time favorite Destiel fics, in no particular order. (More to be added over time) {last updated 10/08/2019}

Too Much TV Will Rot Your Brain by EndlessRain Rating: G Words: 7397 Summary: “Angel?” John asked. He had been in Heaven for a pretty long time, and had been hunting even longer, and he never had heard of angels actually existing.

“Oh for God’s sake,” Ellen said, “That’s your kid’s boyfriend!”

Notes: A short, sweet fic with mostly humor and a bit of angst mixed in. – How (thanks to Gabriel) Dean and Castiel (accidentally) raised each other (and Sam). by Vera Rating: E Words: 69693 Summary: In which, Gabriel meddles with the time line and Castiel becomes Dean’s angel rather sooner than intended.

Notes: This is a must-read, the writing is perfect and the idea is also perfect. Throwing Castiel into the boy’s lives from the start and the dynamic it brings is such an interesting take on the story.

–

Destiel, Actually by Bloodism Rating: E Words: 15973 Summary: Picture your typical rom-com cliché. Now picture Dean stuck in that rom-com cliché. With Castiel. Because that’s what happening to him - a crazy whirlwind of your typical-and-not-so-typical cliché’s. He’s playing the main lead in all of them and Castiel’s his counterpart. Of course, the culprit is obvious. Gabe’s enjoying himself too much, lying back on his favourite cloud with a tub of salted popcorn.

It was about time someone kicked the two knuckleheads into gear.

“And… ACTION!”

Notes: Funny & light-hearted, featuring everyone’s favorite trickster.

–

Angel’s Wild by LimonadeGaby, riseofthefallenone Rating: E Words: 389271 Summary: But that’s the whole reason he’s here, isn’t it? He’s not out here hunting Humans. He’s not even hunting deer, or bears, or anything else that featured in Bambi. He’s out here, freezing his nuts off every night, because he’s hunting Angels.

Sometimes Dean wishes that Angels were like how they’re described in the Bible. How people from time too old for him to care much about thought Angels were messengers and warriors of God, protectors of Humans. He knows that how they’re really described in the Bible is actually pretty terrifying, but at least they were told by God that they’re supposed to love Humans, right?

That’s a thousand times better than what Angels really turned out to be.

Notes: Another must-read. This fic is a huge, long and a bit of a slow-burn but its so worth it. One of the first destiel fics I fell in love with, an immersive AU with fanart included.

–

Things Dean Winchester Loves by tuesday Rating: M Words: 3623 Summary: Castiel makes a list, Sam gives good advice, and Dean takes a while to catch on.

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In the Shadow of your Wings by Enochian Things Rating: M Words: 57268 Summary: Dean drains his bottle of beer, sets it on the table and gets up, heading for the kitchen. Maybe to fetch another, maybe to leave. But Castiel doesn’t want him to go, doesn’t want to leave this conversation unfinished; he remembers his regret of just a few hours ago, that Dean had never known how he loved him.

“Wait,” he says and gets to his feet as Dean passes by. They’re standing close – close enough that Castiel can feel the heat of Dean’s body, the vibrancy of his soul brushing against his grace. “Dean, I have to tell you something…”

Set after the S11 finale.

Notes: another long, slow-burn. The buildup in this fic is fantastic, dealing with a jealous and in-denial Dean while poor Cas is dealing with his own feelings. This fic is so in-character I can see it happening in the actual show.

– Everything Comes Back To You by VioletHaze Rating: E Words: 32970 Summary: Dean knew better. Of course he did. But Cas seemed so charmed by the antique-filled bed and breakfast that Dean went along with it when the proprietor mistook them for a couple. Telling himself it gave them a strategic advantage to be so close to the crime scene, he agreed to the weekend special she offered them. When the case ended up being a bust, they stuck around anyhow because hey, the second night was free…

Notes: I love love loveeee this fic. Canon!verse with fake/pretend relationship. Dean in denial with mutual pining? Yes please. – Sam Winchester Sees the Light (And Dean’s Awkward Boner Face) by YamiTami Rating: G Words: 2447 Summary: Castiel is falling and he has to start doing human things to save energy. That means eating for sustenance, sleeping, and learning how to use a washing machine. This leads to a revelation.

Shamelessly inspired by a gifset of Misha putting a shirt on.

–

The Mirror by cloudyjenn Rating: M Words: 24568 Summary: When Dean touches a strange mirror, he’s whisked away to one alternate reality after another and it doesn’t take him long to realize the universe is trying to tell him something.

Notes: This. fic. is. amazing. I love reading about AU versions of the boys and this one has plenty of variety. Cute with a bit of angst mixed in.

–

In Your Sweet Little Bungalow by annodominique Rating: E Words: 13680 Summary: All things considered, Castiel has a house. All things considered, Castiel has a life. Without Dean.

It has been seven years since Sam died, seven years since Dean left Castiel, broken and human, and disconnected from humanity. Cas had to cope on his own somewhere along the way. He chose a little town of Oregon to settle in.

Seven years, and Dean shows up at his door on a chilly February night, saying the stupidest set of words to ever be said to Castiel’s face.

“I was–just passing by the neighborhood. Thought I’d drop by…to see you.”

And Cas doesn’t know what to do.

Notes: This fic is so angsty but so worth it.

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When the Bough Breaks by captainshakespear, deanisthesun Rating: M Words: 73963 Summary: Years after the Darkness has been defeated, Dean and Cas are living the apple pie life in small-town Kansas. They don’t hunt anymore, and would like to keep it that way, but some young hunters knocking at their door have different plans.

Dean, Cas and Sam reluctantly agree to help out, but what ought to be a simple case becomes way more complicated and dangerous than they counted on. And when the hunt starts to invade the normal lives they’ve carved out for themselves and their kids, Dean and Cas begin to wonder if escaping the hunting life altogether might have been wishful thinking.

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Home is Where by ChasingRabbits Rating: E Words: 15170 Summary: Casual vagrant Dean Winchester blows into Palo Alto to check on his little brother. What is meant to be a quick visit ends up drawing out when he meets and accidentally ends up clicking with Sam’s strange, grad student roommate Castiel.

Notes: non-canon verse AU where Cas has Asperger’s and is Sam’s roommate, this fic is very cute.

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Out of the Deep by riseofthefallenone Rating: E Words: 488608 Summary: Stay away from the light-beds. Stay in the deep.

It is the first thing hatchlings are taught the moment their fans unfurl and they can swim without their parents to buoy them along. It is the first rule, the first law. It is the beginning of every boogey-monster bedtime story told when they settle against the cliffs to sleep.

Castiel should have listened better.

Notes: I cannot express how much I love this fic. Another huge AU with copious amounts of fanart and detail. Slow-burn, Merfolk AU. I will admit I was hesitant to read this at first as I don’t usually like mermaid/merfolk AUs but this story is so beautifully written and the attention to detail is amazing. Riseofthefallenone never ceases to amaze me.

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Going Postal by captainbarnes Rating: Not Rated Words: 6799 Summary: Castiel,

Hi. My name’s Dean, just Dean — that’s all you’re getting out of me.

I don’t really know what else to say, I’m not good at this and I really don’t want to talk much. But it’s for a grade, and I’m already flunking English, so I guess I don’t have a choice.

Your name is weird as fuck.

— Dean

Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak became pen pals because of a school assignment, and they tried not to get attached to one another. They really did. Sort of. Barely.

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King of the Road by loversantiquities Rating: E Words: 15890 Summary: Contracted out by the local police in Moriarty, New Mexico, Dean is sent to investigate the happenings around a church outside of town, the Angel-worshiping congregation reportedly flocking to the location in recent days. As it turns out, though, instead of snake charmers or devil worshipers, Dean finds an Angel crucified to the cross, said Angel unreasonably snarky despite being tied up against his will.

Turning over Castiel to the authorities, though, doesn’t work in Dean’s favor. With nowhere to go and Heaven having abandoned him, Dean agrees to haul Castiel across the country on two conditions–he doesn’t smoke in the car, and he doesn’t rob convenience stores in broad daylight.

God, Dean might actually kill him before this is over.

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Rock of Ages by winter_of_our_Discontent Rating: T Words: 7430 Summary: It starts because they need a rock. Not, of course, just any rock, but apparently this particular critter needs an Aztec-style obsidian-and-jade dagger right through its human-teeth-and-eyeball-eating heart to actually kill it.

In which Cas gets a ring, and Dean (finally) gets a clue.

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So There It Is, I’ve Said It All by PorcupineGirl Rating: G Words: 3898 Summary: “Why, do you have something you need to say to me that you don’t think I’ll like?”

I think I’m in love with you.

“Yeah. I guess so.“

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Receipts by surlybobbies Rating: T Words: 1391 Summary: He’s about to put the receipt down, no harm done, when something about it catches his eye. Pen ink, on the back. He flips it around and reads:

With Dean. He shared his pie with me. His smile was radiant.

Dean stares. Reads it again. Nothing’s changed.

What? -

The Fourth Wall by entanglednow

Rating: T-E (this is a series so different parts have different ratings)  Words: 40,339 Summary:  (There’s not an exact summary for the whole thing since its a series of 15 different works but basically the boys discover fanfiction about themselves and things get wild) I can’t believe I didn’t add this one before but its one of my all time favorites! I’ve read it multiple times because its just that good. Lighthearted and funny. This series also includes Samifer which I’m a big fan of (but if you’re not into that each part is appropriately tagged so you can skip over it). 

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Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark Rating: M  Words: 45,876 Summary:  Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight. Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away. Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.  Notes: Lots of pining, supportive Sam, angst with a happy ending, the good shit.  - Everyone is Trying to Get to the Bar by Balder12 Rating: E Words: 8,111 Summary:  Dean still has enemies in Heaven. True!form Castiel to the rescue!

Notes: I love true!form cas fics and this one is written beautifully, the ending seemed a little rushed to me but other than that I really enjoyed this fic.

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As You Pass Through Me by wannaliveindeansdimples Rating: E Words: 30,548 Summary: Cas has lived in this house all his life... and since his untimely death. The last thing he wants is a new roommate, but it seems he's getting one anyway.

Notes: a wonderful non-canonverse AU with ghost!Cas....but there’s a twist! This fic is incredibly cute and entertaining and makes me smile everytime I read it. There’s a little bit of what could be considered dub-con in a few chapters but before said chapters the author usually has a note at the beginning.

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[malexfan10]

I absolutely love Tyler Blackburn

New article today

He is such a gem ❤

So genuine. Deserves all the love and support!

You can tell how much Alex means to him.

Please don't destroy this amazing character or this wonderful ship Carina!

It's a long read but well worth it

https://www.playboy.com/read/down-to-earth

❤

Down to Earth With Tyler Blackburn

The star of the CW's 'Roswell' reboot isn't a poster child of anything but his own path

Written by Ryan Gajewski

Photography by Graham Dunn

Published onJune 11, 2019

I’ve never met Tyler Blackburn before—except that I have. Maybe it would be more accurate to say I’ve met versions of Tyler Blackburn. I’ve spent time with the actor on multiple occasions while covering his TV series Pretty Little Liars, the soapy teen-centered murder mystery that regularly generated more than a million tweets throughout its seven-season run. Just two weeks ago I reconnected with him in a lush meadow of flowering mustard outside Angeles National Forest, the site of his PLAYBOY photo shoot. But the Tyler Blackburn I’m meeting today at his home in the Atwater Village neighborhood of Los Angeles is in many ways an entirely different man.

When he greets me at the front door, Blackburn is relaxed, barefoot and still wearing what appears to be bed head. His disposition is unmistakably freer—lighter—than it’s been during our previous encounters. Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised by this. Six days earlier the 32-year-old actor came out publicly as bisexual in an online interview with The Advocate. The announcement is clearly at the forefront of his mind as we sit down at his dining room table.

Almost immediately he starts to gush about the positive, and at times overwhelming, feedback he has received over the past few days. Within minutes he’s in tears. He tries to lighten the mood with a self-effacing quip, but now I’m in tears too. Then he tells me he can’t remember my question.

I haven’t even asked one yet, I reply.

“It just makes me feel, Wow, the world’s a little bit safer than I thought it was,” Blackburn says.

The most affecting response he’s received thus far has been from his father, whom Blackburn didn’t meet until he was five years old. Although he avoids offering any more details about that early chapter, he says, “Feeling like I’m a little bit different always made me wonder if he likes me, approves of me, loves me. He called, and it was just every single thing you would want to hear from your dad: ‘That was a bold move. I’m so proud of you.’ It was wild.” 

Blackburn can’t pinpoint the exact moment he knew he was bisexual but says he was curious from the age of 16. It wasn’t until two years ago, though, that he decided to approach his publicity team about coming out publicly. At that point, Pretty Little Liarshad wrapped, and the actor was without a job. So Blackburn and his team agreed they needed to hold off on making an announcement until his career was stable again. The lack of resolution weighed on him.

“A year ago I was in a very bad place,” he says, adding that he has struggled with depression and anxiety. “I didn’t know what my career was going to be or where it was going. My personal life—my relationship with myself—was in a really bad place.”

His casting on the CW’s Roswell, New Mexico, adapted from the same Melinda Metz book series as the WB’s 1999 cult favorite Roswell, seems to have come at the right time. Blackburn portrays Alex, a gay Army veteran whose relationship with Michael, a bisexual alien, has attracted legions of “Malex” devotees since the show’s January debut. Roswell, New Mexico has already been renewed for a second season—a feat for any series in this era of streaming, let alone one involving gay exophilia.

Playing a character whose queerness has been so widely embraced by fans no doubt nudged Blackburn closer to revealing his truth for the first time since becoming an actor 15 years ago. (As he told The Advocate, “I’m so tired of caring so much. I just want to…feel okay with experiencing love and experiencing self-love.”) Still, he was somewhat reluctant. His hesitation was rooted in the fact that he wouldn’t be able to control what came next: the social pressures that often come with being one of the first—in his case, one of the first openly bisexual male actors to lead a prime-time television series.

“If you stand for this thing, and you say it publicly, there’s suddenly the expectation of ‘Now your job is this,’ ” he says. “Even if someone’s like, ‘Now you’re going to go be the spokesperson’—well, no. If I don’t want to, I don’t want to. And that doesn’t mean I’m a half-assed queer.”

Full disclosure: I previously wrote for a Pretty Little Liars fan site. In 2012 I published a listicle that ranked the show’s hottest male characters. Blackburn cracks up when I tell him this and wants to know whether he bested Ian Harding, his former co-star. After I inform him that his character (hacker with a heart of gold Caleb Rivers) finished second behind Harding’s (Ezra Fitz, a student-dating teacher) I promise to organize a recount. The always-modest Blackburn concedes that Harding is the rightful winner. (If anyone ever compiles a BuzzFeed article titled “Most Embarrassing Moments for Former Bloggers,” I’ll be offended if I’m not in the mix.)

Blackburn makes it clear that he has not always been comfortable with his status as a teen heartthrob. Knowing he was queer made it “hard to embrace it and enjoy it.” Growing up, he was bullied for being perceived as effeminate and was frequently subjected to slurs and homophobic jokes. He describes himself as a late bloomer who took longer than usual to shed his baby fat. He didn’t have many friends, nor did he date much in high school. 

A lifelong fan of musical theater and the performing arts, Blackburn signed with a Hollywood management company at the age of 17. His team at the time warned him that projecting femininity would hinder his success. An especially painful moment came after he’d auditioned for a role as a soldier and the producers wrote back that Blackburn had seemed “a little gay.” 

“Those two managers were so twisted in their advice to me,” Blackburn says. “They just said, ‘We don’t care if you are, but no one can know. You can’t walk into these rooms and seem gay. It’s not gonna work.’ I remember the shame, because I’ve been dealing with the feeling that I’m not a normal boy for my entire life.”

After landing a recurring role on Days of Our Lives in 2010, Blackburn scored his big break when he appeared midway through the first season of Pretty Little Liars. “I was in Tyler’s first scene, so I got to be one of the first to work with him,” Shay Mitchell, who starred opposite Blackburn, tells PLAYBOY. “Right away, I knew he was special. Since the day I met him, Tyler always struck me as very authentic and very true to himself.” 

Fans instantly adored his on-screen love affair with Hanna Marin, played by Ashley Benson. The pair became known as “Haleb,” and Blackburn went on to win three Teen Choice Awards—surfboard trophies that solidify one’s status as a teen idol—in categories including Choice TV: Chemistry.

According to Blackburn, during the show’s seven years on the air, he and Benson bonded over their mutual distaste for the tabloid stardom that comes with headlining a TV phenomenon lapped up by teens. Today he fondly reflects on their on-camera chemistry. “It felt good,” he says. “It felt real.”

Of course, rumors swirled that the pair’s romance was actually quite real. “We never officially dated,” he tells me. “In navigating our relationship—as co-workers but also as friends—sometimes the lines blurred a little. We had periods when we felt more for each other, but ultimately we’re good buds. For the most part, those rumors made us laugh. But then sometimes we’d be like, ‘Did someone see us hugging the other night?’ She was a huge part of a huge change in my life, so I’ll always hold her dear.” 

Blackburn also shares a unique connection with Mitchell outside their friendship. Similar to what Blackburn is now experiencing with Roswell, Mitchell was embraced by the LGBTQ community for playing a lesbian character, Emily Fields, whose same-sex romances on Pretty Little Liars were among the first on ABC Family (the former name of the Freeform network).

Over the years, Blackburn had come out to select members of the Pretty Little Liars cast and crew, including creator I. Marlene King. But as the show approached its swan song, he started to recognize how hiding a part of himself was negatively affecting his life. He entered his first serious relationship with a man while filming the show’s final season. Not knowing how to tell co-workers—or whether to, say, invite his boyfriend to an afterparty—caused him to “go into a little bit of a shell” on the set.

“My boyfriend was hanging out with me at a Pretty Little Liars convention, and some of the fans were like, ‘Are you Tyler’s brother?’ ” Blackburn says. “He was very patient, but then afterward he was like, ‘That kind of hurt me.’ It was a big part of why we didn’t work out, just because he was at a different place than I was. Unfortunately, we don’t really talk anymore, but if he reads this, I hope he knows that he helped me so much in so many ways.” At that, Blackburn tearfully excuses himself and takes a private moment to regain his composure. 

“I never remember a time when I didn’t enjoy being with him,” says Harding, Blackburn’s former co-star. He says he saw the actor “start to become the person he is now when we worked together” but believes Blackburn needed to first come to terms with the idea that he could become “the face” of bisexuality. “Tyler’s discovering a way to bring real meaning with his presence in the world,” Harding says, “as an actor and as a whole human.”

Once the teenage Blackburn realized he was attracted to guys, he began “experimenting” with men while taking care not to become too emotionally attached. “I just didn’t feel I had the inner strength or the certainty that it was okay,” he says. It wasn’t until a decade later, at the age of 26, that he began to “actively embrace my bisexuality and start dating men, or at least open myself up to the idea.” He says he’s been in love with two women and had great relationships with both, but he “just knew that wasn’t the whole story.”

He was able to enjoy being single in his 20s in part because he wasn’t confident enough in his identity to commit to any one person in a relationship. “I had to really be patient with myself—and more so with men,” he says. “Certain things are much easier with women, just anatomically, and there’s a freedom in that.” He came out of that period with an appreciation for romance and intimacy. Sex without an emotional component, he discovered, didn’t have much appeal.

“As I got older, I realized good sex is when you really have something between the two of you,” says Blackburn, who’s now dating an “amazing” guy. “It’s not just a body. The more I’ve realized that, the more able I am to be settled in my sexuality. I’m freer in my sexuality now. I’m very sexual; it’s a beautiful aspect of life.”

Blackburn has, however, felt resistance from the LGBTQ community, particularly when bisexual women have questioned his orientation. “Once I decided to date men, I was like, Please just let me be gay and be okay with that, because it would be a lot fucking easier. At times, bisexuality feels like a big gray zone,” he says. (For example, Blackburn knows his sexuality may complicate how he becomes a father.) “I’ve had to check myself and say, I know how I felt when I was in love with women and when I slept with women. That was true and real. Don’t discredit that, because you’re feeding into what other people think about bisexuality.”

He clearly isn't the first rising star who's had to deal with outside opinions of how to handle his Hollywood coming-out. I spoke to Brianna Hildebrand just before the release of 2018's smash hit Deadpool 2, and she explained that she had previously met with publicists who had offered to keep her sexuality under wraps, even though the actress herself had never suggested this. Meanwhile, ahead of the launch of last fall's Fantastic Beasts sequel, Ezra Miller told methat he's "been in audition situations where sexuality was totally being leveraged."

Fortunately for Blackburn, his recent experiences with colleagues have largely been supportive ones. He came out to Roswell, New Mexico showrunner Carina Adly Mackenzie when he first arrived in N.M. to shoot the pilot but after he had earned the role of Alex, which for him was the ideal sequence. "I think he takes the responsibility of being queer in the public eye very seriously, and waiting to come out was just about waiting until he was ready to share a private matter—not about being dishonest to his fans," Mackenzie tells PLAYBOY. "I have always known how important Alex is to Tyler, and I know that Tyler trusts me to do right by him, ultimately, and that’s really special."

Blackburn finds it funny that he’s known for young-skewing TV shows; the question is, What might define him next? He’s grateful for his career, but he grew up wanting to make edgy dramas like the young Leonardo DiCaprio. He also cites an admiration for Miller, the queer actor who plays the Flash. “I most definitely want to be a fucking superhero one day,” Blackburn says a bit wistfully. 

His path to cape wearing does look more tenable. The day before his Advocateinterview was posted, he booked a lead role in a fact-based disaster-survival film opposite Josh Duhamel. Blackburn jokes that his movie career was previously nonexistent, though his résumé features such thoughtful indie fare as 2017’s vignette-driven Hello Again. There, he plays a love interest to T.R. Knight, who tells PLAYBOY that Blackburn “embraces the challenge to stretch and not choose the easy path.” 

For now, Blackburn’s path appears to be just where he needs it to be. “I may never want to be a spokesperson in a huge way, but honestly, being truthful and authentic sets a great example,” he says. “To continue on a path of fulfillment and happiness is going to make people feel like they too can have that and it doesn’t need to be some spectacle.” As it turns out, he may already be a superhero.

[parniarazi]

2 0 1 9

A few days into the fresh energy of the new year, I’m still processing a lot from 2019 because it was a huge year for me. I think it’s a big missed opportunity for self-growth if you don’t take some time to reflect on your year, what it taught you, how it shaped you, and what your goals are moving into a new year. Resolutions can be cheesy and cheap, but serious self-reflection and actions towards your goals are what will move you forward.

In 2019, I got to experience a lot of things I love. I photographed one of my favorite artists, I went to 6 music festivals (including my first SXSW and EDCLV), I traveled to Vegas, Italy, Germany, France, Colorado, and Mexico (not to mention a few weekends away in the lovely Austin, Texas). I connected with many different people this year, a few of whom have stuck around to be good friends. I graduated college surrounded by the support of my amazing family, started my first semester of grad school and my first real job, and I fell even more in love with Pavel after we made the decision to move in together.

Whew. Talk about self-growth. Years like this that are filled with change are definitely among the most difficult ones I remember, but getting older is cool sometimes because I recall other similar times when I felt challenged, pushed, and even frustrated, but then ended up getting through it and life being way better on the other side. For example, when I first moved to Houston in 2016. Another similarly big transition year, 2019 didn’t come without its struggles, but those have been incredible learning moments and just as important as my highs. 

Overall though, growing up is hard. I think this is something I say often, but I really feel that in my soul. Sometimes I feel like I have a grip on adulthood, I’m now financing larger trips and travel plans for Pavel and I, I’m seeing more of the world, I’m less afraid of doing adult things alone and less afraid of the unknown general. At the same time though, so much of my identity is rooted in my youth. Young, wild, and free, you know? Nothing is better. So in many ways, feeling this slip away from me year by year as I get older and have to handle more and more of my own responsibilities really sucks. Not being able to be as carefree or have as much free time can be a challenge that comes with adulthood, but fortunately having the level of self-awareness I’ve developed, I’m also realizing that I don’t actually have to buy into that narrative anymore. Can I be a fully responsible, independent adult and still create time for myself and give myself breaks to play, dance, and rest? Absolutely. Can I be a smart, professional, respectable person while still being funny and quirky and myself? Hell yeah. Getting settled into adulthood by moving out and going through all these changes I did this year has helped me realize that my life is really my own to shape and create however I want. I’ve learned that no matter what advice others give me or see fit for me, the decisions are mine to make at the end of the day and I’m the one who has to live my life every day. As the indecisive libra I am, this was hard at first but I can literally feel myself growing into my power and that feels fucking amazing. 

Major shifts also happened in my academic/professional life that were extremely difficult to go through, but I have a feeling were a huge plunge in the right direction for me. For most of undergrad (which was only 3 years), I was committed to staying in academia to get my Ph.D. in political science and then working as a professor. This was mainly for 3 reasons — I was always good at school so I thought putting off finding a job to stay in school longer would be an easy solution, I wanted to stay in an area I excelled in and felt comfortable in, and I didn’t explore my other interests/options enough at the time. I also couldn’t see myself dressing in business clothes, working in an office or corporate-type job. Essentially, I settled for something I thought would be more comfortable, but it turned out my undergrad program had not challenged me or prepared me for this grad program at all. Instead of being comfortable, I was thrown to the wolves in classes and material I was completely unprepared for and not even interested in. Not to mention, I felt incredibly alone and isolated from my classmates because many of them were older, already had a Master’s degree, and their lives revolved completely around the department because most of them worked as TAs while being full-time students. Meanwhile, I was working outside of academics, wanted to maintain my personal life and hobbies, and simply could not keep up with the pace and demands of the program. Nor did I want to, because seeing both the Ph.D. student and professor life up and close as a grad student made me realize that’s not the life I want as a professional. Academia can be incredibly stifling of new ideas, very bureaucratic, and has cookie-cutter ways to ‘making it’ in your given field. I learned that it is not an environment where my skills and personality would flourish, and I deserve better than that. I realized it’s unfair to both myself and the people who could benefit from my skills to force myself to fit into a box I simply don’t fit into.

That doesn’t go to say I have it all figured out now because I surely don’t. In fact, I’m on a whole new journey of finding jobs and fields I’m interested in, then gaining the right experiences and connections to get those jobs. Fortunately, I saved my grad school career by advocating for myself. Last semester, I immediately realized I hated the poli sci program, started exploring other related degree options, dropped my most difficult class after midterms, and then pushed and begged my advisors to actually do something to help me do something about my situation. After exploring and talking to people a bit, I realized my skillset would be a lot more applicable for something in Communications, like Public Relations or Mass Communications. I’ve always had a mind for communication, media, and relating to others as a deep empath. With broad applications in the world, I also realized this is a degree that I can make, not one that makes me. I can apply it and use it to do anything I'm interested in — from entertainment PR and marketing, to journalism and writing, to leadership and team management. My advisors were able to transfer me into the Communications MA for this spring, even though technically I would have had to apply and start in the fall. An important consideration about leaving political science was that they had given me a full scholarship covering my tuition, but since I’ve transferred I’ll now have to figure out paying for this semester myself and then finding scholarships or other ways to pay for the next 2 years (because I’ve made it this far and I refuse to have student loans). I’m so glad I didn’t let the money stop me because I would have lost that scholarship anyway since I dropped a class and didn’t get the most impressive grades, plus no scholarship is worth suffering in something you don’t want to be in and that won’t get you where you want to be.

Aside from the whirlwind that was this last semester, I am incredibly proud of myself for getting through all these crazy changes and still managing to be my joyful and best self (at least most of the time). I had my days where I cried hard after school and work, and some dark weeks this semester, but I made still doing things that make me happy a priority. Yoga, music, travel, going to festivals, going out with friends, seeing my family, and just slowing down for self-care. Finding familiarity and comfort in these things that bring me joy, combined with support from Pavel, are what got me through my hardest times this semester. Now I feel more settled into my new life being moved out, I feel more confident and powerful because I made my own decisions, and I feel excited about this new journey and the fulfillment and abundance this new path will bring me. 

Speaking of Pavel, it’s actually unreal how seamless and perfect moving in with him has been. Of course, we are immensely privileged because we aren’t dealing with rent, bills, or even cleaning much. But nonetheless, we’ve dealt with challenging times together but just going to bed together and waking up together makes life better. He’s my best friend in every way, living with him and sharing a space together is so magical and beautiful. I feel so safe, welcomed, and open to create the space and life I want here. I feel so cared for, valued, and loved with Pavel. We work so well together, it feels effortless and deliciously perfect. He grounds me, and this space has become home so quickly because of the way he makes me feel here. Moving out has taught me so much, helped me start overcoming a lot of fear and anxiety, and just allowed me to blossom more into myself. I will be forever grateful for Pavel helping make that happen with me at this point in our lives where it was so perfectly needed. I respect and love him endlessly for being the mature, intelligent, caring, patient partner that I need in my life. 

2019 was also a year of letting go of a lot of friendships, people, and energies that no longer serve me. I realized that I am a wonderful friend who is ready to give support, love, guidance, hugs, and my whole heart to someone who is willing to give all of that back and who is deserving of receiving that from me. Even though I’m in a healthy and happy long-term relationship, I still feel myself holding space in my heart for deep friendships and connections with other people (specifically with women/feminine energy), but I haven’t been able to fill that space since moving to Texas. I miss the friendships I grew up having, and I put a lot of pressure on filling that space for a while, but I realizing forcing it gets me nowhere and a lot of people simply aren’t in a place to be able to reciprocate my energy in a meaningful way. A lot of people are really caught up in their own lives (which is totally understandable), already have other people filling the space for friendship in their lives, or simply aren’t at the level of maturity and growth that I am so they can’t connect with me on a deep level. Making close friends as an adult is way harder, people are just busier, but I really do trust that I will attract the right people and they will come into my life at the right time.

Continuing to expand and grow into my spirituality and spiritual practices by meditating, journaling, listening to podcasts, and practicing yoga has also brought me solace and internal happiness. It’s hard to describe and most people my age/similar to me are really disconnected from having their own authentic beliefs/practices because they either go with what they’re taught or dismiss it altogether. For me, having a career path I find exciting and fulfilling, a stable romantic relationship, healthy friendships, a spiritual practice, and fun hobbies are all areas of my life that I need to satisfy to feel balanced and genuinely happy. Knowing this, and after reflecting on all of these areas within the past year, I’m manifesting the following for each area in 2020, but I also know the Universe knows more than me and things may go differently for a reason (like my poli sci program not working out) so I trust that I will receive this, or something better...

☽ Career — I will get a second job/start a side hustle that will help fund my school and travels this year, I will start learning exciting new things that prepare me for a field/job I’m passionate about, I will secure an internship that pays well and allows me to practice/gain useful skills, I will get scholarships for next school year, I will feel a sense of belonging and make friends in my new program, I will continue learning and exploring different options/opportunities, and I will make connections with people who can mentor me and help me grow into starting my career.  

☽ Relationship — Pavel and I will continue to support, love, and care for each other in all aspects. Our love will continue to grow and flourish as we grow in life together. We will go on adventures that make us feel happy, excited, exhausted and refreshed. We will add to our stories and crazy experiences. We will continue treating each other with love and respect, supporting each others’ growth as individuals while also growing together in a really beautiful way. 

☽ Friendship — I will continue to grow my valuable friendships with people who are on the same wavelength as me. I will have a lot of laughs and good memories with people I care about. I will get deeper into the communities of like-minded people around me (music, yoga). I will find more friends who inspire me and actively support my creative ideas/work. I will develop deeper and more fulfilling friendships with people who reciprocate my energy, and I will extend myself in new ways by being the person I needed for others. 

☽ Spirituality — I will continue practicing meditation and yoga as much as I can. I will also continue to read one book per month and listen to one podcast per week to grow the value in my practice. I will journal and synchronize my self-growth with lunar and astrological cycles, which allows me to tap into my higher power and divine connection with the universe. I will also consider doing a YTT this summer or winter, but regardless I will find outlets to be of assistance to others and give back in this area that has been of such deep value in my life. I will practice breathing, mindfulness, and presence to feel grounded during stressful times. I will get better at protecting my energy and staying rooted in my own positive energy and affirmations (aka, not letting other people’s BS or toxic energy affect me). 

☽ Fun — I will continue going to events that surround me with good energy and good people. I will continue doing what brings me joy, allows me to move and release tension and energy, and that brings me closer with like-minded friends. I will continue to make the incredible trips and experiences I desire a reality by saving money and smart planning. I make more of an effort to bring this good energy with me into my every day by being myself and sharing my laughs and joy with the people around me. I will continue to feed my inner child, my creativity, and my natural human existence on this earth.

I have no doubt that 2020 will continue this amazing momentum and growth that I have cultivated over the past year. I am beyond blissful and grateful for the incredible year I had and all it taught me, but I’m also ready to move forward feeling more prepared, confident, and capable of making everything I can imagine a reality.