#to make the dialogue between wolf and dawnfrost feel a little more natural

[cj-writes-things]

Love over Law chapter 5

Series tw: animal death, violence, trauma, parental neglect

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Chapter 1 • Chapter 4

Once they were outside the tunnel, Wolfpaw tentatively mumbled, "Dawnfrost, can I ask you something?"

"What's troubling you?"

"I... I was thinking, my mother doesn't really seem interested in, well, being my mother. She's so... moody and disinterested. Why?"

Dawnfrost sighed heavily, wishing she knew how to answer the young cat's question, how to take the sting from her experience of being virtually rejected. Wolfpaw was bound to have asked this question sooner or later.

"Sparrowthorn... was never a very affectionate cat; it just isn't in her nature. She also didn't take too kindly to responsibility."

Dawnfrost paused, a guilty look crossing her face as she spoke of her daughter in such a way, to her kit no less. But the kit in question deserved an explanation.

"But beyond that, some things happened when she was younger that... changed her," she continued, more gently.

"She became more distant and reckless after that, until eventually she had all but cut ties with me. I worried, if I'm being completely honest, when I found out she was expecting kits. I wish things could have been different for you, but what Sparrowthorn went through, the choices she made, they were beyond my control- some of it remains even beyond my knowledge. I'm sure it's hard to understand, but I want you to know that it has nothing to do with you. It's not your fault, and the rest of the clan and I love you very much."

Wolfpaw's ears were low, her golden eyes downcast. She knew Dawnfrost was trying her best to make her feel better, and she was grateful, but she still felt as though she had more questions than answers. Questions that were heavy in her chest and left a sour taste in her mouth, like some part of her knew the answers might be just as painful as the not knowing.

"Thanks, Grandma," she murmured, nonetheless, slowly sweeping her tail back and forth. She nuzzled her head against the older she-cat, who whispered, "Anytime you need to talk, or have questions to ask, I'm here, okay?"

Wolfpaw nodded, her nose touching Dawnfrost's so the elder could sense the motion. Against her will, she yawned. She couldn't help it; the sun had sunk below the horizon, and she had had an exhausting day. Dawnfrost huffed in faint amusement. "You must be tired, young one. Why don't you go to the apprentice den and rest, maybe talk to your friends before dinner?"

"Okay," came the sleepy response. "Goodbye, Dawnfrost."

"Goodbye, my little warrior."

Wolfpaw trudged over to the stack of hollow logs used by the apprentices as a den, her drowsiness fading as she realized she was about to spend her first night sleeping here instead of in the nursery.

This den wasn't the same as it had been when the elders were young; she had known it had been replaced, but now she was fairly sure she knew why.

The old one must have been torn up by that fox.

She was wondering where the clan had found all the hollow logs when she was startled to see a head poking out of one of them. She quickly recovered though as she recognized her friend; Fawnpaw had been waiting inside to greet her.

"Hi, Fawnpaw."

"Hey Wolfpaw!" the perky young she-cat called. "Welcome to the apprentice den! I already set up your new nest; it's beside mine in this log up here. I hope that's okay."

"That's great, thanks!"

"So, how's apprenticeship treating you?"

"Today was pretty easy; I practiced stalking and cleaned out the elders' bedding. But Duskstar says my training will get harder and harder, so they can make sure I'm 'fully prepared for the challenges I will face in the difficult life of a warrior.'" She did her best to imitate the solemn tone her mentor had used.

"Yeah, that sounds pretty similar to my first day. I think they tell all the apprentices that," Fawnpaw giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"Well, it's a rather dramatic way to put it, isn't it? And as far as I've seen, it doesn't really get that much harder, as long as you pay attention and do as you're told. I bet you'll ace your training, Wolfpaw. You're good at everything."

That got a smile.

"Thanks, Fawn."

The light brown she-cat slowly swished her tail for a moment, thinking.

"So, hey, you want me to give you the tour?" she asked.

Wolfpaw tilted her head and responded, "Sure."

"All right, come on then!"

Fawnpaw leapt down from inside her log and beckoned Wolfpaw to follow her. She circled around to the end of one of the bottom logs of the stack, peering into its dark interior.

"This is where Splinterpaw sleeps; he wanted a log to himself, something about personal space. Kinda stinks for Claypaw though, he would have liked having a... logmate? This one here is his," she pointed at the log next to Splinterpaw's with her nose.

"It gets a little more sunlight. I think Splinterpaw likes the darkness in his, but Claypaw prefers the warmth. It's really nice how there aren't too many apprentices; we each got to choose whichever log we wanted. Anyway, I've been saving a spot for you in my log since we moved in. I think Claypaw was hoping Lilacpaw could share his den, but, well, she's the medicine cat apprentice, so, that's not gonna happen. Kinda sad, I guess. We were both looking forward to you two moving in with us."

Wolfpaw froze.

"Wait, Lilacpaw won't be in the apprentice den?"

Fawnpaw tilted her head, meeting her younger friend's concerned gaze.

"No, silly. Don't you know? She'll sleep in the medicine den with Canyonbreeze," she explained.

"Oh," Wolfpaw muttered, her bushy black tail drooping sadly.

"Yeah, it really sucks," added a voice from behind them.

Wolfpaw whipped her head around to see Claypaw padding over to join the two she-cats. His chipper attitude from before was gone; he seemed pretty upset that he wouldn't be seeing his friend as often as he had hoped.

Wolfpaw knew how he felt. She and Lilacpaw had grown up together. Her mother, Silverbreeze, had been a major part of Wolfpaw's upbringing, and the two kits had come to be more like sisters than just denmates. She sighed, realizing that, for the first time in her short life, she wouldn't be sharing a den with the small gray-and-white cat.

"Hey, cheer up," Fawnpaw said comfortingly, noticing her friend's saddened state. "You've still got us, remember? And it's not like you can't see her everyday. She just won't be sleeping in the same place as us."

"Yeah... I guess you're right."

"Of course I am. Now come on," she said, brightening. "It's time for the clan to eat dinner, and you get to join us and pick your own prey for once!"

"All right, I'm coming. Hey! Wait up!"

Fawnpaw had already turned around and raced toward the center of camp, glancing back as if daring the others to try to beat her to the clearing.

Oh, that's how you wanna play it, huh? Okay, I'm game!

Wolfpaw gathered her legs beneath her and threw herself forward, ignoring the prickle of apprehension in the back of her mind and taking off after Fawnpaw. She shortened the gap between them, her paws flying across the rocky ground. At last she caught up, skidding to a halt just as they reached their destination. It felt unpleasantly familiar.

"Whoa," Fawnpaw panted. "You're still faster than me? Like I said, good at everything."

Wolfpaw, trying not to let her thoughts wander to past races, glanced around at the gathered cats. She saw her mentor sitting across the clearing; with a nod to her fellow apprentices, she dashed over to Duskstar's side.

"Greetings, Wolfpaw. Did you tend to the elders' bedding as you were told?"

The little she-cat dipped her head respectfully. "Yes, Duskstar," she answered.

"Good," the blue-gray tabby purred. "I thought as much. Well, now that your duties for the day are done, you may select something from the fresh-kill pile for dinner."

Wolfpaw padded slowly to the boulder in the center of the clearing where warriors deposited the fruits of their hunts throughout the day, letting her gaze drift over the warriors around her.

Almost everyone was there, except Canyonbreeze and Lilacpaw, who were still in the medicine den, and Goldenbrook, whose minor wounds they were tending. The she-cat had tripped over some rocks while hunting and had scratched herself up. Nothing serious, but she had gone to get checked over just in case.

There was one other cat missing, however. One warrior was unaccounted for, and this particular cat's absence stood out to the young apprentice.

Where are you, Sparrowthorn?

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Chapter 6