#to feel like his miserable life has any meaning
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aewon · 1 day ago
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all night, in love — YJW
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pairing- jungwon x fmr genre: fluff, e2l, fake dating ⚠️: kissing, cursing, slight slight very tiny angst (practically nonexistent) wc: 3k
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You hate Yang Jungwon, and he hates you too.
The reason? You ACCIDENTALLY tripped him in front of his crush in 9th grade. You never knew someone could hold such a grudge for something that wasn’t on purpose.
Ever since that day, Jungwon has made it his life mission to make you miserable.
He doesn’t do anything physical, he just makes annoying, mean jabs at you whenever he can, which you don’t hesitate to fire back.
What you never expected was for him to come up to you, asking for a favor.
“A favor? Why would I ever want to help you?” You scoff at his audacity, turning away from him on the bench you’re currently occupying.
He doesn’t go away, instead sitting next to you on the other side, facing you.
“Please, I’ll do anything!” When you look at him, he’s pouting, something that’s never been directed toward you.
He almost looks…cute?
“Anything?” You ask, not concealing the smirk gracing your face.
“… As long as it’s nothing super crazy, yes.”
You ponder for a moment, what could you possibly need from Yang Jungwon.
“I’ll help you, but I’m not telling you what you’re doing until after we’re done! So what exactly is it that you need?”
Jungwon suddenly looks away from you, biting his lip as if he’s afraid to say it.
“Well? We don’t have all day.”
He looks down at the ground, twiddling his thumbs before finally speaking, “I need you to date me.”
You almost spit out the sip of coffee you just took.
“What?”
“Look, you know Yoona, right?”
You nod, having met the girl before in science class.
“I have a huge crush on her but she never notices any of my attempts to talk to her or engage so I figured if I’m dating someone, that’ll make her notice. Everyone knows we don’t like each other so it’ll make a huge spectacle.”
Your eyebrows furrow at his rhetoric.
“Everyone knows we don’t like each other, so they’ll definitely believe we just started dating? That makes no sense, Jungwon. Come on, you’re smarter than that.”
“We can say it was all a ruse! We just didn’t want people knowing how much we like each other so we pretended to have a fued instead.”
“Still doesn’t make sense. Our friends and peers aren’t stupid, they’ll see right through us.”
“Not if we’re convincing! We’re talking right now, right? Not arguing. We’ll just tell everyone we decided to come clean. Please do this for me, you know I’d never bother you with something like this otherwise.”
That is true, and although you can’t ever imagine yourself liking someone like Jungwon, it’s fake.
“Fine, I’ll do it.”
Jungwon, for the first time, gives you a genuine smile. One that’s not devolving into a sneer or fake.
“So, what do we do now?” He asks.
“Do you have any boundaries you don’t want crossed?”
He shakes his head, “I want this to be believable.”
Without warning, you tug him forward by his shirt, planting your lips on his.
You don’t open your eyes to see if he’s shocked or not, but soon you feel his lips moving with yours.
His large hand travels to cup the side of your face.
You don’t know how long you’re kissing for, or rather making out at this point, but you’re interrupted by the bell ringing.
As you pull away, Jungwon looks as if he’s in a daze.
Your eyes look around the courtyard and multiple people are staring at you, looking away quickly when they realize they’ve been caught.
“Bye boyfriend, I’ll see you later.” You wink, getting up from the bench and leaving to go to class.
The end of the school day comes quicker than not, and you wait outside for your friend Ningning so you can drive her home.
A hand comes to rest on your waist, and you turn to find Jungwon standing beside you.
“I figured I’d get your number now so none of our friends suspect us.”
You nod, taking his phone and putting your number in, texting yourself quickly.
You save his number in your own phone as “wonnie ❤️” while he saves yours as “babe 🩷.”
“You drive Ningning to school right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I’ll start driving the both of you, just text me your address and I’ll pick you up first tomorrow.”
“Sounds good, we should also figure out some kind of timeline for this relationship. When do we wanna say this started?”
Jungwon ponders for a moment, “A few months ago? Not too specific but not suspicious either. We could say after a while the dislike toward one another became tired and we decided to be friends which then developed into a relationship.”
“And why did we hide it?”
“Because we were embarrassed.” He shrugs and you nod along.
“Sounds good, we can figure out details later.”
Out in the parking lot, his group of friends are all staring at you. “I should get home,” Jungwon says, “we’re all hanging at my place and I know they’re dying to ask me about us.”
“Call me tonight?”
He nods, wrapping you up in a hug, pulling away to kiss your lips.
You can’t help but like the feeling of his lips on yours, or maybe it’s because you haven’t felt the kiss of someone in so long.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re obsessed with my lips. You like kissing me.” Jungwon smirks at your reddening cheeks.
“Please, it’s just been a while. The feeling is nice is all,” you respond, pushing him lightly.
He raises his hands in surrender before walking away, toward his friends whose eyes are on him like a hawk.
“What the actual fuck is going on!” You hear Ningning from a mile away as she quickly approaches you, “Why the hell did I have to find out from Minji that you and Jungwon are dating?”
“I’ll explain in the car.”
Ningning doesn’t hesitate to ask a million and one questions about your newfound relationship, and you answer to the best of your abilities without making too many plot holes.
You tell her about the new arrangement with Jungwon picking you both up which she agrees to easily.
After dropping her off, you make your way home to relax and de-stress.
You shower before changing into more comfortable clothes.
Your parents won’t be home for a while so you sit on the couch, watching Netflix with an after school snack.
You must’ve fallen asleep on the couch because when you open your eyes, you’re in your room and not on the couch.
You check for your phone, finding it on the nightstand beside you.
The time reads 8:00pm and you sigh. Now you’ll be up all night.
Your phone begins to ring, Jungwon’s name popping up.
“Hello,” you say, grogginess evident in your voice.
“Did I wake you?”
“No, I just woke up. I fell asleep after school, my dad must’ve moved me from the couch to my bed.”
“Okay, good. Did Ningning bombard you with questions? Because my friends did.”
“She absolutely did. I stuck with our plan and tried to avoid any personal questions.”
“Speaking of, I figured we should learn more about each other if we’re gonna make this work.”
You agree and begin asking each other questions.
Favorite color, hobbies, family info, things that a couple should know about one another.
You learn that you and Jungwon actually have a lot in common. You both love action movies, dogs, cats, food of course among other things.
It feels very normal talking to him like this, and not arguing or making jabs at each other.
It feels like you’ve been on the phone forever, checking the time as it reads 10:00pm.
“We’ve been on the phone for 2 hours. It’s crazy how quickly time passes.”
You hum, feeling yourself start to get tired again.
“Are you sleepy?” Jungwon asks, and you hum once more.
“Then we should cut this call here, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
The only response Jungwon gets is your quiet breathing on the other end, knowing you’ve fallen asleep.
He smiles on his end, ending the call before going to sleep himself.
The next morning, Jungwon texts you that he’ll be there to pick you up at 7:15, then you’ll swing by Ningning’s.
You get ready quietly, deciding to dress up a bit.
When Jungwon arrives, you get in the passenger's side of his car, wishing him good morning.
“Morning,” he says before kissing your cheek.
You smile, side eyeing him slightly, “You know you don’t have to kiss me when we’re not around others.”
You see his cheeks flush pink, “I know, but I figured it’s better to be as natural as possible.”
“Ah, okay. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you just like kissing me,” you say, throwing his words from yesterday back at him.
“Pft!”
You playfully argue all the way to Ningning’s house.
When she gets in the car, she greets you and Jungwon like this is a normal occurrence.
You talk with Ningning the rest of the way to school, with Jungwon chiming in every once in a while.
When you arrive, Ningning leaves first, needing to see a teacher before class.
You and Jungwon get out, and he takes your hand in his larger one while he carries both your bag and his.
“Who knew you were such a sweetheart?” You laugh as he glares at you halfheartedly.
The cafeteria is where students wait for class to start if they’re at school early, so you and Jungwon find a quiet corner to occupy.
His friends come in and make their way to you.
They all greet you, albeit hesitantly as if this is all still one big prank.
You realize you’ve never taken the time to get to know any of them either, just associating them with Jungwon.
They’re actually very funny, making you laugh freely.
When the bell rings, everyone disperses.
Jungwon kisses you goodbye before handing you your bag and making his way to class while you do the same.
In class, you’re just doing self work, but people still talk quietly.
“Hey, Y/N,” a voice says from beside you.
You look up to see Yoona, the girl Jungwon was talking about.
“Hey Yoona, what’s up?” You whisper, trying not to draw any attention.
“I just wanted to ask you… since when have you and Jungwon been dating?”
She’s asking, that must mean she’s at least somewhat interested, right? This could be good for Jungwon.
“A few months. We just didn’t tell anyone cause we were kinda embarrassed.”
“Ah, I see. Good for you.”
You thank her and she goes back to her work while you do the same.
During lunch, which you unfortunately don’t share with Jungwon, you text him about Yoona.
“That’s cool, our plan must be working 😈,” he responds.
You eat with Ningning, gossiping as you always do.
Later on, Ningning texts you to tell you she won’t need a ride home. She has a project to work on with a classmate so they’re going to her house.
That leaves you and Jungwon alone in his car at the end of the day.
“Do you wanna come over?” He asks.
“Sure.”
The drive to his home is quiet, but he stops at the coffee shop to get you both something.
Your large caramel macchiato is delicious and you promise to pay Jungwon back but he dismisses you with a wave of his hand.
“Nothing’s too much for my girl.”
You don’t know why your heart beats so fast when he says that.
Arriving at his home, you leave your backpack in his car. He invites you inside and a white ball of fluff greets you eagerly.
It’s a dog and it sniffs you before jumping on your legs.
“This is Maeum,” Jungwon says, picking up the dog. “He likes meeting new people.”
“Hi Maeum!” You take the dog into your arms and he nuzzles into you immediately.
After he’s been put down, Jungwon takes you to his room.
“Do you wanna watch a movie?” He asks, and you agree.
He lets you choose and you pick a recently released action film.
As you lay on his bed, Jungwon puts his arm around you, pulling you close.
The sunlight from outside shines into the room, illuminating it in a beautiful glow.
As Jungwon seems to be entirely grossed in the movie, you take the opportunity to look at him.
His dark hair is fluffy, his bangs laying on his forehead.
His jaw is sharp even as he’s relaxed and his eyes are big and wide, watching the screen intently.
You admire his face, his nose is long and big, something you’ve always found attractive.
His lips are plump and so, so kissable as you already know.
You can’t help it, you take his face into your hand, turning it towards you.
“What?” He asks, staring into your eyes.
You lean forward, connecting your lips with his.
He responds immediately, pressing harder.
You move before you even realize it, swinging your leg over his lap to straddle him.
You’re making out eagerly, running your hands through his hair while his hands travel down your back to eventually rest on your thighs.
His tongue meets yours as it gets hotter inside the room.
You don’t know how long you spend there, your body pressed against his.
By the time you separate, both your lips and his are red and swollen.
Jungwon’s eyes are narrowed as they stare at you.
“What?”
“You must really like me or something,” he says, giggling as you hit his chest before moving to get off him.
“No,” he stops you, “stay here.”
You end up laying on top of him.
It’s quiet and he’s playing with your hair, gently, trying not to disturb you.
Time passes and before you know it, it’s 8:00 pm.
“I have to go home,” you tell Jungwon, who whines in protest.
“Don’t want you to go.”
“I know, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Jungwon concedes, and you both get up so he can drive you home.
The drive is quick and he’s bidding you goodbye, not before giving you a kiss.
After doing your night routine, you lay in bed, thoughts full of Jungwon.
It’s only been two days since your plan started but you feel different.
You feel happier, happier than you already were.
Is it because of Jungwon? You feel like the answer is obvious but you’re too afraid to admit it.
The next couple of days follow the same routine. You and Jungwon meet in the morning and hang out after school.
He takes you out for ice cream and coffee, takes you to the local park to have a picnic and more.
This fake relationship starts to feel more and more real everyday.
“Heeseung is hosting a party tomorrow, do you wanna go?” Jungwon asks, watching the tv while you pay attention to your phone.
You look up, “Sure.”
Jungwon hums in acknowledgment, his arm coming to wrap around your shoulders.
You unknowingly lean into his chest.
The next day, Saturday, you do nothing until it’s time to get ready for the party.
You find a pretty dress in your closet, one that’s not too revealing but just enough.
You text Jungwon a picture.
y/n: what do you think :p
wonnie ❤️: you look beautiful 🥰 i’ll be there in 5
In the car, you and Jungwon agree to stick together and send a text if you get separated.
The party is already thriving by the time you arrive.
You and Jungwon hold hands, walking through and greeting people.
You find the other guys in the kitchen, pouring drinks.
They greet you cheerfully, handing you a drink of something. You don’t know what it is, but it tastes good so you don’t complain.
You and Jungwon make your way to the dance floor, where your bodies are pressed against one another tightly.
After some time, you excuse yourself to the bathroom.
“Do you want me to come with you? I’ll stand outside?” Jungwon asks but you shake your head.
“I’ll be fine.”
Heeseung directs you to the bathroom upstairs.
You pass by people on your way there.
The light isn’t on and you knock, no one answers.
Once you deem it safe, you enter.
You lock the door and do your business.
After washing your hands, you make your way back downstairs.
Before you re-enter the living room, you hear two voices that sound familiar.
You choose to ignore it, wanting to find Jungwon.
You search for him for 5 minutes before giving up.
Making your way to the backyard, it’s empty, to your relief.
You sit on the outside table, breathing in the fresh air.
“Hey, I was looking for you,” Jungwon says from behind you.
“I was looking for you too but I got impatient after 5 minutes.” You laugh as he takes a seat beside you.
“Yoona came up to me,” he says.
“Oh? What’d she have to say?”
Jungwon takes a deep breath in, “She confessed to me.”
Oh.
“Oh? That’s…great, no? This is what you wanted. That means we can end this whole thing and—”
“I rejected her,” Jungwon says firmly.
Your eyebrows furrow in confusion, “But the whole plan was to get her to fall for you, I don’t understand?”
“I rejected her because I realized that I really like you. I know it’s only been a couple of days but you’re nothing like I thought you were. We feuded because I was being petty. I never took the time to really get to know you. You’re…amazing, to put it lightly. You’re smart and kind, funny, we have so much in common and at this point I don’t see myself with anyone except you.”
You reel in Jungwon’s confession. Here you thought he was going to break everything off.
“Jungwon, I like you too, a lot.”
He lets out a breath you didn’t realize he was holding, “You do?”
“Yeah, I’ve realized how sweet and kind you are. The thought of you being with Yoona made me crazy but I didn’t want to get hurt by rejection.”
“Well you don’t have to worry. You have me, no matter what.”
He kisses you, fiery and passionately.
The next day as you walk hand in hand with Jungwon around town, you think you’ve hit the jackpot.
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© AEWON 2024
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sk3tch404 · 2 days ago
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Yandere Weeping Clown Thoughts!!
CW: Nothing too bad, just your usual creeper, manipulation, and analysis(?) on his character. Tbh hes so yandere coded that everything blurs together atp (and I'm using "yandere coded" sort of loosely bc that makes me sound like a yandere enabler or smth, which like, lol no but in fiction yeah funne). Called him Joker bc it was easier to use/remember than Weepy, and also bc they called them that in all the lore drop so 🤷‍♀️
A/n: Just saw the new Hullabaloo lore drop and IDV has taken me back into its clutches. He is so yandere material 🫶 Proof read enough to go "that's postable."
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Joker is quite sensitive to his darlings perception of him. He always tries to do the right thing, tries to please you so that when you smile at him, that strangely unfamiliar warmth spreads through his chest. A smile tugging on the corners of his mouth, stringing his lips up as if he were a puppet. And a puppet of your design he shall be if you wished it so.
Joker is definitely a worshipping sort of yandere. He'll do most of anything for his darling if it made them just a teeny bit closer. Any progress is better than no progress. Even if it means visiting you in the dead of night to "check on you," or often "bumping into you" in places that you frequent at the manor. He'll stop bothering you if you reject his advances, but he'll come back around sooner or later. Joker doesn't want you to hate him, but he also doesn't want to be away from you! Although you may say some hurtful things like, "It's making me uncomfortable, sorry," or, "Can you leave me alone for a while," he knows deep down that if he teeters around the boundaries you set for long enough, he can wiggle his way through and to your heart. At least, that's what he hopes.
Despite his subservient nature to his darling, Joker isn't so obedient around others. He has his more introverted traits for sure, but his sensitivity to anger is fragile, especially when it comes to you. Joker doesn't have many qualms about taking a stand for you or himself if it came to it. He wants to be your protector, so he isn't very afraid to say something if he feels the need to. It can become quite the scene if the other party doesn't back down, making either you or someone else the mediator of the debacle. It's exhausting to have to manage your persistent follower, but it's better to handle a situation rather than let it spiral out of control, leaving the consequences of his mental break to you.
With his fragility also comes his keen eye for any chances to take advantage of a situation. Joker isn't very intimidating physically or feared for being calculating, but he is usually dismissed, and that makes for perfect cover if he plays his cards right. Framing people for his crimes can be a walk in the park depending on the situation, and manipulating those weaker than him isn't something he wholeheartedly takes pride in, but if it's for you, if it's for you, the singular most important person and one he adores most in his rotten life, then he's happy to oblige. If it wins you over in the end, then that's all that matters, right?
Joker will try to convince his darling to stay by his side and will get more desperate depending on the circumstances. He's not a kidnapper type, more of an idealist. Not to confuse that with delusional though. Joker knows full well how you probably feel about your strained relationship, but if he doesn't try now, he'll never get to be with you, and that's unacceptable. He wants to live a romantic and sweet life with you day in and day out, so he'd hate to see you miserable and locked up. If he can't love you the way he wants to, then what would be the point?
Even with that, Joker isn't above guilt tripping or petty manipulation tactics like that. He really can be unpredictable at times and can become very dangerous if his darling constantly shows no interest. Although he is a romantic idealist in his mind with you, he's also the type to slip into the "if I can't have you, no one can" mentality. He might just end up hurting his darling, but it won't be anything too drastic by the time it happens. Joker would feel terrible, terrified, and utterly disgusted with himself after seeing your petrified state. He'd drop to his knees and attempt to mutter consoling words, somewhat even begging for your forgiveness.
"Y- Y/n, no, oh no, no... Y/n, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please. Don't cry, I didn't mean to. I truly am sorry. I had just- I wasn't thinking straight. I would never hurt you. If only you hadn't done this, then... No, just come back to me Y/n."
He is still quite demanding even while apologizing, which would make your fear even greater. Joker doesn't want to force his darling's hand, but if it really came down to it, he'd give his darling a grade A verbally manipulative beat down. He'll use anything and everything against you so that all else but him looks ugly in that moment. Sure being at the receiving end of his unstable anger was horrifying, but be honest with yourself, were it not for him who has saved you countless times in both matches and inside the manor, you would be long dead by now. Anything is on the table, anything just so you will come back to him once more. He has little to no guilt in it, just the fear that he will seriously break if you're still in a right state of mind. So, in turn, he'll unfortunately have to break you first.
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slaaverin · 1 day ago
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Jikook came home today and I couldn't be happier 💜🥺 They will be insufferable once they get out I can already feel it 😂😅 I missed them 😭
Today I wanted to talk about something that was showcased on AYS, I call it The Smugness of Mr. Jeon Jungkook™
Smugness of what you may ask?
The absolute cocky pride of having The Park Jimin Extraordinaire as a boyfriend.
I can't say I didn't love it when I watched.
Jungkook couldn't help to show him off on every occasions
This is the man in question showcased plainly by Jungkook:
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Also very important to include him between food shots in case we didn't know Park Jimin was also part of his "special" food regimen *cough*
He felt the urge to inform us that his crush gives him the most attention:
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"Look at my boyfriend, he's doing very boyfriendy stuff with me because he is mine, my crush, mine only and his attention is just for me, look at him good because you're having none of it"
Ok 🤨
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He's really rubbing it in our faces that only he has the Ultimate Boyfriend Privilege™
Jungkook, this is a bit cruel
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He even reached peak smugness. The pride. The power move. The "We're Kings of the world" attitude. We get it, he is yours. Jungkook really is a fool in love 💜
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Still keeping his little smirk.
"Look at my boyfriend, he's sick and miserable but look how good he still looks, how both of us look absolutely stunning together, I'm having the time of my life, stay mad losers"
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Of course Jimin looks good even sick and at any time as a matter of fact, even while he sleeps, and Jungkook is still stunned by it. What a sight indeed.
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Because Jeon Jungkook thinks Jimin is prettier than clouds and can't help but scream it to the world. It's all very natural. So obviously he is proud that Jimin is his boyfriend.
Jimin is not just anybody. He's so special and the fact jungkook has him makes him one of the luckiest man in the world (and vice versa) but he really put the nail in the coffin about this in AYS. Just in case we didn't get it.
DON'T WORRY JK GOD WE GET IT WE LEAVE HIM TO YOU
Do you get how insane is that growth? From 2015-2016 when Jungkook was so shy and sometimes closed off? To THIS TODAY?
That escalated quickly.
Now he has no fear anymore and doesn't hesitate to tell and show and express his love he has for Jimin and his pride to have him.
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Jimin is funny because he didn't do it as often like Jungkook during AYS, he was more lowkey, but the one time he actually did the same it was PURE INSANITY
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I mean Jimin doesn't play often but when he does he plays big game. Like go big or go home. He literally spelled it out for us.
Yes he is your boyfriend. Yes. Yes yes yes. We know he looks cute.
I also love how they both took time to film each other as well. This was clearly their main focus.
Aahhhh it makes my heart so happy for them. They admire each other. They are glad to be together and they show it to us freely.
What a time to be a jikooker, what a journey.
They aren't the ace duo for nothing and will always be a power couple 🔥
Good for them 😌
Take care everybody 💜
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ashlynnfall · 2 days ago
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group project with jayce and vi - arcane x reader
summary: blurb about you being stuck with vi and jayce for a group project
tags: arcane fluff (because we deserve it after this show), no spoilers (but mentions of s2 scenes and characters), silly, stupid, reader insert, school au, no trauma au, hextech exists in this world, somewhat ooc vi and jayce
warnings: cussing
word count: about 2.4k
a/n: this is inspired by the current vi and jayce accomplishing nothing memes. i love that joke so much, so i decided to write a little story about it! also jinx remains as powder in this since no tragedy has happened. this is my first fic ever, so any advice on how to be a better writer would be greatly appreciated! thanks for reading, and i hope you enjoy <3
------------------------------------------------------------------------------it's your favorite class about your favorite subject full of your favorite people, so what could go wrong?
literally everything, apparently.
your teacher, mr. heimerdinger, announces a group project to the class. soon after, everyone chatters in excitement because you all like each other, so no matter what, you'll all end up with a good group. he starts calling names and organizing people into groups of three. as the options for your group narrow down, you look around to see who hasn't been called yet.
vi...ekko...ooh mel would be great for this, you think to yourself as you survey the crowd.
"mel, ekko, and caitlyn! you're a group," heimerdinger calls out, causing you and the class to frown.
"ugh, talk about unfair," one student murmurs.
"viktor, skylar, and elora, you're a group."
the options keep getting smaller, and as you look to see who hasn't been grouped yet, a horrible realization hits you. all that's left is you, vi, and...
no.
"jayce," heimerdinger says.
stop it now.
"vi."
this isn't happening.
to your dismay, heimerdinger calls your name. you turn to look at vi and jayce who are sitting next to each other, currently celebrating the pair up.
"hell yeah!" vi exclaims, raising a hand up to high five jayce. jayce enthusiastically moves his hand to hers-
and misses her hand.
seriously, how do you miss an unmoving target?
you watch as these bumbling fools try two more times before they can actually hit the high five.
you've got to be fucking kidding me.
jayce talis, the golden boy of the grade. he's a genius inventor with incredible ideas that will take him far in life. known to be smart and charismatic, most people would love to be grouped up with him for any assignment. as one of heimerdinger's star pupils, being his partner should be good news right?
wrong.
vi, the cool girl of the grade. she's not the most academically gifted person, but she does all of her work and tries her hardest to contribute to the group. she's known to be an amazing fighter and has a gift for making people feel better. rumor has it that caitlyn kiramman once went on a total rampage after losing her mother's expensive necklace. she was a raging asshole for a week, spewing mean things to anyone who stood in her way. vi was out sick for that week, so there was no one to console caitlyn.
when vi returned to school, she called caitlyn "cupcake" one time, causing her to switch sides immediately, reverting back to the sweet girl she's known to be. oh, and vi found the necklace too!
so a team up between a boy genius and a girl with a big heart should be amazing news. however, despite all of their incredible traits, when jayce and vi work together, all of that shit disappears.
they've been paired up together for projects before, and they're the only ones who love this match up. everyone else reacts in horror.
they're always onto absolutely nothing, cooking up plans and ideas that fail so miserably, it's almost impressive. during a lesson on hextech, they had the simple task of using a comically large hammer to aim and hit a target. the hammer was too big for vi to hold alone, so they used the power of friendship to hold it up together. they aimed for the target, and shot a blast.
it completely missed.
in fact, they missed so bad, that it ended up shooting through a window, resulting in it completely shattering. students had to dive for cover from flying glass shards. this prompted a severe tongue lashing from a very angry heimerdinger, who now had to pay for window repairs and do paperwork.
there was another time where they were sparring with some older classmates, got way too into the fight. they were in the middle of hyping each other up when a kid accidentally got in the way of their brawl. they totally knocked him on his ass, the poor thing got sent straight to the ground.
he recovered soon after, but he went home with a bloody nose the day of the impact. jayce was the one who dealt the punch, so he was wracked with guilt for the child he just injured. he sent the family some flowers as an apology, to which the mom responded with dead roses and a note saying: "eat shit".
he is not popular in that family.
knowing you're in for a disaster, you accept your fate, and walk over to a beaming jayce and vi. they are so excited to be partnered up with you, and it would be sweet sight if they weren't, well, them.
"this project is due next class, so please decide on a time outside of school to complete this. we have a lecture to finish," heimerdinger instructs.
vi offers her house, to which you and jayce agree. you're supposed to meet there about four hours from now, which isn't nearly enough time for you to prepare for the bullshit.
here we go.
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four hours later, you're knocking on vi's door, trying to calm your already spiked nerves. it swings open to reveal a small girl with two blue braids.
"hi!" powder exclaims as she wraps you into a tight hug. it's been a while since you've seen vi's little sister, and you're relieved to know that at least one person in this house has sanity.
the two of you catch up for a bit while you wait for vi to bring you upstairs. powder tells you about her little crush on ekko, rambling happily about their adventures while you laugh at their antics.
ten minutes pass and vi still hasn't come down to get you, so now you're annoyed. that annoyance quickly turns into concern as a loud bang from upstairs shakes the entire house.
what the hell?
you and powder rush upstairs to see what the commotion is about. nearly ripping vi's bedroom door off its hinges in fear, you two run inside to make sure everyone's alright.
you look at the scene with disappointment as you see dumb and dumber standing in shock, eyes directed to the damage they just created. there's a giant dent in the floor, no doubt made by the hammer in jayce's hand. vi's giant gauntlets are at her side, which leads you to infer that they were sparring before the impact.
jayce is always doing some type of extreme damage with that hammer, you facepalm as you take in the scene.
you give them both a withering glare then yell at their foolishness.
"you idiots do realize that we're supposed to improve the hextech, not destroy buildings with it, right?"
powder runs downstairs to tell uncle vander what happened, and you sigh in frustration while the other two carefully set their weapons onto the ground.
"sooo...we should get started on the project now, yeah?" jayce offers as his hand rubs the back of his neck, clearly trying to fix the mood.
you let out an exasperated sigh.
"yeah, let's get started."
vi and jayce add another disastrous duo moment to their record. you've lost count of all their failures at this point.
during the entire project, they say stupid ideas or do reckless things. jayce swings the hammer around with zero regard for his surroundings, and laughs whenever vi sticks up her middle finger in the gauntlets. whenever one of them says something that sounds remotely smart, the other one says, "EXACTLYYYYY."
"do you think if we wrap the hammer in foam, we can prevent it from breaking things?" vi asks jayce, who shoots her a look of disbelief.
"you can't be serious," he responds in a critical tone.
you nearly jump for joy as you watch their interaction. for the first time ever, there's hope that one of them will finally be smart in the other one's presence.
"we should wrap it in air pillows, not foam. regardless, that's a great idea! we should test it out," jayce enthuses as he reaches for the hammer.
your hope shatters into a million pieces, just like that window they destroyed.
"no, no, no, no, no!" you interject as you swat his hand away, preventing them from causing more destruction.
"what crawled up your ass today?" jayce asks, offended by your behavior.
"heimerdinger's foot definitely did because you keep screwing up on his exams. don't hate on us because you have a D in this class," vi insults as she completely airs out your business in front of jayce.
jayce yells "OHHHHH" in response, then goes to dap up vi for flaming you. putting your head in your hands, you practice deep breathing so you don't completely lose your shit. it's not your fault that runes and hex crystals are so confusing!
uncle vander stops by shortly after the argument to inspect the damage, loses his mind, then goes to call uncle silco for assistance. you, vi, and jayce continue the project and pretend like vander isn't infuriated with all of you. you didn't even do anything but you still get wrapped up in this mess.
halfway through the project, vi gets a facetime call from caitlyn, to which she immediately responds. if you had a dime for every time vi called her "cupcake", you'd be a millionaire.
things get even more annoying when jayce gets a facetime call from mel, who he also immediately responds to. your friends yap to their girlfriends while you continue working on the project, silently reflecting on how terrible your luck is.
despite their annoying tendencies and horrific performance as a duo, they're somewhat helpful during the project. jayce uses his hextech knowledge to create solid ideas for improving the weapons. the secret to getting him to be his genius self? tell vi she isn't allowed to speak or be in the room while he works. you gave the same rule to jayce when it was vi's turn to contribute, and she actually came up with solid ideas for weapon functionality and protection.
turns out, separating them is a brilliant idea. you mentally pat yourself on the back for your effective plan.
the three of you finish the project and decide to do a movie night in celebration. jayce and vi miraculously land a high five first try, which makes you smile. they then take turns giving you a high five, making your smile wider. the pair gets too confident and tries to do a complicated handshake, which per usual, goes terribly.
jayce accidentally smacks vi (how does this even happen?), and vi punches his arm in return. the two playfully duke it out while you pull out your phone to record them for your private story. you caption the video "mfs when they horrifically fumble a situationship".
when they finish the fight, you realize you can't be their babysitter anymore. desperate to not be stuck with the moron brigade, you ask to invite the rest of the friend group, and vi agrees, complimenting you for coming up with a great idea.
"it's pretty easy to have great ideas when you two are full of terrible ones," powder shouts from the kitchen.
even though vi is taller, older, and arguably stronger, she is always getting destroyed by powder in a verbal battle. it's what makes their dynamic so amazing. vi opens her mouth to shout something back, but you put your hand on her shoulder and shake your head, letting her know it's no use arguing back.
about thirty minutes later, you're sitting in the living room with vi, jayce, mel, caitlyn, ekko, viktor, skylar, elora, powder and her new friend isha, claggor, and milo. you all watch a comedy movie to unwind from the stress of the day, and soon become thoroughly entertained by the movie's ridiculous humor. jayce and vi throw popcorn at each other, which annoys everyone. knowing there was no stopping them, you and mel make a bet on who will win. you choose vi and she chooses jayce like a supportive girlfriend.
mel slides you a crisp five dollar bill halfway through the movie.
as you sit and watch, surrounded by your friends who are full of the happiness and light that they deserve, you decide that maybe a group project with vi and jayce didn't turn out to be such a bad thing after all.
the hangout is full of jokes, silly arguments, laughs, and unbridled joy. even vander and silco stop by to check in on everyone from time to time, smiling at each other as they reminisce about their days as students. whenever those two enter the room, vi and jayce's bodies go rigid with stillness, trying to attract as little attention as possible from the angry set of uncles.
it was an amazing night of bonding with your friends and basking in the comfort of good company. you make a mental note to plan more of these, hoping to give your friends the enjoyment they deserve. when the movie ends, everyone gets off the couches to clean up as they discuss their thoughts on the movie. vi approaches you with a big grin on her face, then has the audacity to deliver the following line:
"this was so fun, the three of us should totally be partners again!"
since you're in such high spirits, you consider giving jayce and vi another chance. maybe they aren't all that disastrous, and maybe, just maybe, they can prove to be a competent duo-
"totally! for our next project we should try seeing how powerful a hextech blast can get! maybe we should go to the park and shoot it into the sky?" jayce schemes while vi's face lights up in excitement at the prospect of another hextech hangout.
never mind, you roll your eyes and mentally chastise yourself for even thinking of giving this another shot. these morons couldn't find a way out of their own asses if they were handed a map.
you fervently shut down their plan before they try making any more.
"absolutely not."
jayce and vi are definitely going down in history as one of the worst duos of all time.
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1moreff-creator · 2 days ago
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Do you have any Teruvid headcanons??? If so... *Grabby hands* 🥺👉👈
Hey! Man, Teruvid, huh? Well, I have to be honest and say I don’t know if I fully grasp what the dynamic would be like, but I’ll see what I can do! Non-despair AU as always, just to keep consistency with my other ship posts :v Or, perhaps a better term would be "non-killing game AU"; it's hard to imagine Teruvid without despair lmao.
CW: Toxic relationship, gaslighting.
How this relationship would start is hard to imagine, really. Especially outside the stress of the killing game. Teruko never believed David’s cheery persona was real, so she didn’t like the guy from the start.
However, outside of the killing game, David wouldn’t be actively trying to kill anyone, and Xander and Teruko would probably still be friends, so it actually works out better than expected. Presumably, the way this works outside the killing game is that David eventually realizes Teruko doesn’t believe his façade and chooses to start dropping it around her, eventually enjoying her company just because he doesn’t have to keep up a tiring act. Teruko doesn’t like him at first, so I imagine it would be David confessing. Something like, uh...
David: We both know no one will ever love us the way we are. And we won’t love each other either, and this is going to end horribly.  Teruko: Then why the hell are you even asking? David: It’s for your benefit, you know. More than anyone else, you must be well aware your luck will ruin any relationship you ever have. Teruko: … David (fake smiling, stars in eyes): But most of them will try to be optimistic, won’t they? Thinking themselves above your luck, wishing that if they just try hard enough, this time, it will work out. How hopeful~. Teruko: … And? David (smirking): And that just means it will hurt them all the worse when it all comes crashing down. And you'll feel even more miserable after all's said and done than you did in the first place. That wouldn't happen with me. Not that I'll let you, but you wouldn't care if you hurt me anyways.
Yeah I can’t see this relationship being healthy in any way lmao.
Like, they hate each other even together, that’s the Vision of Teruvid shippers right? They would both be miserable the entire time it’s happening, since they both reinforce the worst and most damaging views the other holds. If the Ultimate Inspirational Speaker can’t even inspire himself to think things can get better, then Teruko has no reason to believe they will. And if Teruko never tries to change despite hating her life, then that confirms to David that people can’t change. The relationship is held together by the illusory comfort of confirmation bias; neither has to challenge their worldviews like they would in a relationship that genuinely made them happy, so they feel at peace in their shared misery.
Speaking of, the most common intimate interaction is venting to each other about whatever bullshit they got going on, be it unfortunate events or Speaker business annoyance. Now, neither is particularly good at giving comfort, but they’re also both bad at receiving it (they don’t understand the concept that people can feel genuine affection towards them, of course), so they settle on just… not comforting each other. Just a simple “sucks” after a long rant, or even laughing at each other’s misery, but again, illusory comfort in being able to vent out their issues without having someone actually worry and care for them, because they don’t know how to handle that.
Other than that, lots of just cuddling while doing random shit. They’re both horrendously touch starved, so they never stay physically apart if possible.
That said, though, they’re not very public with their relationship. Obviously; if Teruko never seemed to like David, then they’re suddenly together, that’s gonna raise a few eyebrows. And David still tries to keep up the Speaker persona outside his one on one interactions with Teruko, a persona that Teruko dislikes due to its disingenuity, so they never really hang out in the presence of others.
Their closest friends know, except none of them actually realize that David’s persona is a lie. They think they’re keeping it quiet not to attract attention to Teruko, given David is a public figure and all. Because of that, they actually think they’re good for each other, thinking that David’s optimism and Teruko’s pessimism balance out to be pretty functional. This fundamental misunderstanding of their relationship makes David and Teruko both feel even more alienated from their friends, which feeds into the codependency. They need each other, because they’re the only ones that get it.
Indeed, this is a serious “they would make each other so much worse” situation, I can’t see Teruvid in any other way. Unless they both get some serious therapy, and even then, the way I’ve described the relationship, it would fall apart if either of them were any more stable. So, uh, yeah.
I kinda struggle to come up with much more than this for these two, so I hope that was okay! Thanks for the ask!
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sabine-smitten-obviously · 2 days ago
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And YOU will feel healed of the last 15
... when you read this fic. That is, as long as you suffered from an abandonement wound like i did.
Ello lovelies, i have another wonderful fanfic-rec for you! 🤓
But you are an ocean by @ineffably-good
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Coverart by @ineffableclassics
What it is about:
After Aziraphale's defection, Crowley tries to figure out how to live life for himself.
Notes:
Ok so, the end of season two broke me. Figured I was maybe done writing stories about these two after that. And yet, several hours later, a sentence appeared in my head, and then this happened. Guessing at chapter totals… I'm finding I like the idea of Crowley going off in a different direction than what I'd initially expect. Not just raging, not sleeping for a century, but actually trying to move on. And why the hell shouldn't he just move to the South Downs by himself? So here we are.
What i like about it:
🩷This fic doesn´t jump in on pushing the story - their story - forward. Instead it goes a totally different path. A quite big part of it is dedicated to Crowley mending the pieces of his broken heart. It´s endearing, it´s breathtaking and it will have you cry. Not only for Crowley but for every single person who ever had to endure heartbreak.
🩷Fun fact no.1: in real life I am a relationship-coach specialised in toxic relationships and heartbreak. And the way Crowley´s heartbreak is described couldn´t be any more accurate. Every thought, every pain, every action he takes, the strength it costs him, the weight of it all - its written absolutely to the point. I could have copied several pages for the "most beloved quote".
🩷So Crowley tries to build a life for himself. Not just living without the angel and rotting in a pit, but really trying to carve out a nice little existence for himself. He is doing his work, he is healing and you can follow along with him, as he learns to build at least new "friendships" - though he would never call it that himself, thanks a lot.
🩷This healing-journey takes quite some time and somewhere in the middle of it i started to think - he could do it. He COULD heal his hurt, mourn the loss and still somehow at least live a life on his own. Maybe feeling the missing part of himself for the rest of his existence, but not being miserable about it the whole time. And that is a thought - a wish - i would have for my dark angel.
I could see him living that life and at one point i almost thought - i would love to see how that would´ve played out for him. A life without Aziraphale. What connections would Crowley have made? How would he have coped with the loss of those humanly connections lifespan after lifespan? Would he have relocated each century? Would he have moved to Australia and learned surfing at one time? Would he have become a timelord and travelled - i mean seriously, Crowley could do that probably?
But you, my dear, are an ocean.
And oceans are ancient
And can survive everything,
Even the wrath of weather and planets.
-- Nikita Gill
SPOILERS AHEAD - if you don´t want to know the plot, stop reading here.
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Stop reading if you dont want spoilers!
Ok - you´ve been warned! Here we go: 🤗
🩷Fun fact no.2: I actually downloaded this fic some time ago but had another fic in mind i wanted to start next. So after i finished the last one (also really brilliant, i wrote a rec on it too), i started my e-reader the next day, THIS fic was already open instead on page 1. Huh?
I have absolutely no idea how this is possible, but i DO believe in hints-of-the-universe. Or little demonic miracles on their own. Because i needed this fic.
🩷Because of course - this is a Good Omens fanfic and eventually the other angel arrives. And without giving away to much: Aziraphale has to fight for Crowley. A long long time. He has to be steadfast and consistent and earn the trust of his has-been-companion-for-millenia. Nothing is a given any more.
And i am NOT saying that this is what Aziraphale needs to do or that he was wrong in any way. (The fic doesnt say that either by the way.) But what cracked ME personally about the last 15 was my own abandonement-wound which got triggered massively. I felt retraumatised even.
So reading and feeling that Crowley does not jump on the next best possibility to be back with the angel was a big thing. Having the Angel slowly earning his trust and simply showing up again and again - I needed that. I needed Crowley to take his time, not be the sick lovefool he is often proclaimed to be. For him to have doubts, to feel conflicted, to feel love and the need to self-preserve at the same time.
All these ambiguities we all have. And to take the steps with him. Watch the turning point, when the fear of losing Aziraphale again becomes less and less and the fear of wasting time gets stronger. Taking one step at a time, sometimes even backwards. All those things, typical for a healing process, which is never straight forward but most of the time a rollercoaster instead. I loved this. I needed this. I could sit back, breathe and watch my own heart grow. Just. Wow.
Most beloved quote:
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So if you feel like maybe you need a fic in which Aziraphale really shows up and cares while Crowley really takes his time to learn to trust again... And not because one of them has been an idiot, but to experience them both learning and growing together ... and that might be something for your own healing journey, this might be just THE fic for you. I absolutely loved it and so will you.
Reading is therapy! 🤗
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hoicacti · 1 day ago
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(will be using he/she for Dazai in this post(
Transfem Dazai where he discovered she was transfem when she had to disguise as a girl for an infiltration mission and was just freaking out the whole time wonderful why he felt less miserable during the mission
When Dazai came back from the mission, he didn't change out of the disguise until after giving her report to Mori. Chuuya saw and wanted to lightly tease him a little and called her a very pretty girl
Dazai played it cool but was internally freaking out because that felt nice. Why did it feel nice? He wants more of it. He wants all of it
She tried to figure out how to get Chuuya to tease him that way more but the only way would be to be direct about it because Chuuya is very firm on misgendering not being funny (I know this is contradicting what I said earlier but hush. There is a timeline in my brain and this bit is set after Kouyou teaches Chuuya about trans people and misgendering bad, the earlier bit was not)
After a week of Dazai being extra miserable and frustrated Chuuya intervened
By intervened I mean corralling him into a gaming binge
Chuuya mentions how Dazai always picks the girl avatars and she's like "yeah, who wouldn't want to be a pretty lady." Chuuya just stares before teasing him like "you aren't a very pretty lady."
Dazai has mixed feelings about that because on one hand, she got called a lady, on the other that stung more for some reason
Chuuya worries a bit because "oh shit he's upset" and vows to never call her a lady again
Dazai eventually confronts him in her own way because Chuuya was acting weird
Dazai confesses that he doesn't mind being called a girl
Chuuya can see that she means she likes it and asks if he's transfem
Dazai's like wtf what's that
Chuuya explains and Dazai is like "oh. Maybe. Kinda"
Chuuya's like "cool. Any pronoun changes?" Dazai stares, classic fish expression
Chuuya sighs. "I'll check in on you in a week while you process this"
And he does
Knock knock knock Chuuya has arrived. He threatens to destroy the container if he ain't ain't let in
Badabing badaboom they're both crouched around a small laptop researching pronouns
After a talk on how pronouns don't equal gender, Dazai is rocking her he/she pronoun and living his best life as transfem
And Chuuya calls her a very pretty lady
He thinks that being more comfortable in her identity is a good look on him
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pizzazz-party · 1 year ago
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trying to formulate my opinions on The Spot by holding my sister as a captive audience while i loudly rant around her apartment
#it is a cold fucking day in hell when i let a middleaged white man take credit for a black teenager’s accomplishments and choices.#i don’t care if he’s fictional#i can’t believe some of you are eating what he’s saying. if we’re rejecting miguel o’haras idea of destiny then why are we accepting#this monologue from a dumbass who can’t accept that he’s the way that he is because of his own fucking choices#you CHOSE to work for those labs YOU CHOSE not to evacuate sooner#he couldn’t have predicted what happened next. but don’t pretend you didn’t choose this#anyone can be spiderman but miles had to CHOOSE this#your fake ass had nothing to do with his leap of faith in the first movie…#miles is made of everyone he has ever loved and respected#fuck this destiny nonsense. the spot sees Miles spark and CHOOSES to mold himself into its shadow in a desperate bid#to feel like his miserable life has any meaning#he’s a threat he’s a narrative foil he’s got the insane visuals to mirror miles. but he is NOT destiny incarnate.#the next movie is going to be about Miles rejecting The Spot as much as he rejects O’haras rules#he said it himself he’s sick of other people telling him what his story’s supposed to be about#damn what is it about writing in the tags that makes things more cohesive.#across the spiderverse spoilers#atsv spoilers#spiderverse spoilers#pizzazz meta#edit: for the record i think The Spot is a great villain and i do appreciate what he does for the narrative#but i dont believe him like i believe in miles
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dragzo · 10 months ago
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oh Red Son no-
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buttercup-barf · 2 years ago
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NEW FAVOURITE TOY!
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phoenixcatch7 · 1 year ago
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If there's one thing I like more than time travel it's crossover reincarnation, so.
Botk link reincarnated as Damian Wayne.
An incredible weapon master of all types, but especially prodigious with a sword - he was beating knights at the age of 4 and with his memories as intact as they get for him I can see that goalpost moving even further (probably with traps and tricks, a 3yo doesn't exactly have great bodily control).
He's an excellent survivalist, agile, strong, durable, cunning and creative. He can move like a feather in the breeze, strike from behind with ease. His first kill, an animal, did not stir him as it did the other children. With his poise, grace, skills, obedience, he ought to be ra'as' finest assassin in the making, a jewel in the crown of the league.
Except he never speaks a word. Half his targets escape unscathed. He skates by true punishment on the merit of his skills and achievements in other missions. Testing has shown it is not a physical deformity that prevents his speech, but not even talia has been able to coaxe a word from him past his second birthday.
It is a defect ra'as is growing more and more frustrated by, as each attempt to fix these two final flaws ends in resounding failure. Less extreme solutions are running dry.
Talia fears those solutions. Her child does too, she knows. For them, there is a possible solution, more extreme than anything ra'as would tolerate.
She sends him out of the league. To his father.
To Gotham.
#'gee phoenix that sure sounds like that dp x dc you're normally rattling on about' yeah lol I steal tropes and sell them on the black market#Anyway this has been slowly rotisserie-ing in my head for a while I just like shaking canon like a magic 8 ball#I'd love to explore how link would react to Gotham and how he might see getting suddenly dumped in a found family as the youngest#And how that contrasts with both his expectations in the league and his role as the saviour last hope of a whole country#Because that kid cannot have a modern interpretation of killing. Like monsters? Kill with prejudice loot the corpses.#The yiga might have a little more hindsight understanding and he never killed them anyway but zero hesitation blowing them up#And ganon is so far removed from the concept of 'killing is bad' because a) human??? Monster??? B) literally the problem#C) he's been killing people so it'd even out d) everyone wants him dead So Bad e) been killed already like a dozen times what's one more#I get the feeling he'd assign the same role to the joker like 'widely considered the source of all evil. 'died' several times and came back#personal source of absolute misery for several heroes. Killed many' = slay the monster. Straightforward.#Like yes link always chooses kindness and has a strong morality and Opinion on killing people it's just a lot would be solved#By hitting the joker until he stopped making life miserable for everyone and if that means permanently well that's kind of link's job.#And like with Jason the bats understand that a lot better than they pretend to. But that is a 10yo who should not be thinking like that.#I think it'd be interesting to see how that'd change their reactions to 'Damian'. Like he holds a very similar opinion to og and Jason he#Just goes about it completely differently.#And I'd love to explore the differences between two fictional worlds and how they can go from pretty much the most black/white morality#To probably one of the greyest areas while still holding near identical themes and methods of dealing with that.#Found family compassion as a weapon against evil and copious amounts of weapons and cool gear lol#Also link should keep the arm he's earned it. Reincarnating with all his memories knocked a few other things loose I'd imagine#Mostly because all the loz games I've played have absolutely altered the way I view any link and also I love referencing them.#Damian with telekinesis and infinite glue would be great. A tiny 10yo sword master choosing instead to drop a dumpster on you#In between hurt comfort link beginning to bond with his family and begin to speak and learn sign language from cass#There's also the sound of explosives and a small figure clinging to a flying door as it crosses the Gotham night skies#Speaking of cass I bet her and link would be great friends in this au.#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#loz au#Loz#loz totk
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spitblaze · 1 year ago
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i know that interpretation is an individual thing and our conclusions are formed by our experiences and no two people will come away with the same conclusion from the same piece of art. i know that. i know that. it still feels bad when I add a song to a character/story playlist because my interpretation of it is thematically relevant when the original intent is very much like. not that
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mutalune · 5 months ago
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hey siri how do I stop feeling gutwrenchingly anxious in the guilt way for using the treatment methods available to me to not be in constant misery
#starlight personal#it’s very bizarre to have my life going objectively well - work is good! personal life is good! family is good!#and still be very mentally ill and feel like I’m faking it even though I know damn well I ain’t scream-sobbing every couple of days alone in#my apartment for attention because What Attention??? my cat????? Bug is never moved by my tears she cares only for string and wires#like I know that cannabis has been immensely helpful to getting me to fucking sleep on a regular schedule and that’s integral to -#my functioning and I know that having emergency klonopin in the event of a total breakout is helpful#and I KNOW that my PMDD and depression and anxiety are very treatment resistant and ketamine is the only thing that’s provided any -#meaningful relief and logically I know I’m not abusing any of these#I’m getting a promotion at work I still go out to see friends regularly I have hobbies I have a girlfriend (??? Wild right)#like clearly these things are working because i’m better now than i was for years leading up to now#SO LIKE. DON’T STOP USING THE THINGS THAT HELP. LOGICALLY THIS MEANS THESE ARE GOOD FOR ME#I always roll my eyes when ppl go off their meds b/c they’re feeling better like babes that’s what the meds are meant to do#if you stop taking them you stop feeling better - but it’s REALLY HARD to get past the cultural conditioning#the feeling that ‘but I can white knuckle my way through this I can force myself to live without’ like WHY BITCH#WE DON’T HAVE TO LIVE WITHOUT#AND ALSO. WE’RE STILL GENERALLY MISERABLE BRO. EVEN WITH OUR LIFE IN A BETTER PLACE!!!#DO YOU NOT THINK THIS MEANS THAT WE SHOULD USE WHAT WE KNOW WORKS TO BE LESS MISERABLE#basically it’s really hard to not feel like a loser when the only things that help are ‘fun’ drugs like weed and psychedelics#I feel like I’m being a hedonistic reprobate which 1) is actually kinda cool now that I wrote it out#2) @ myself were not a good enough liar-faker that every medical professional we see wouldn’t pick up on that if that was our motivation#time to remind myself that it’s arrogant to think I could trick many trained professionals without actively trying tbh#that generally helps me get out of my self-pitying ‘ohhhhh I’m awful and lazy and bad and abusing substances’ spiral#to be very mentally ill on main it is weirdly reassuring to be like ‘just as my fanon interpretation of obi wan kinda hates himself but is -#practical enough to take care of himself even when it makes him cringe and want to scratch his face off; I too am aware that self-care is -#radical and punk and In Fact Necessary to beat back the dark and live in the light with hope so yes even though I doubt and -#feel squiggly and guilty about it I’m not going to NOT prioritize my health and well-being b/c self-hatred and self-denial benefits no one’#thank you inner obi wan i love projecting my issues onto you mwah mwah mwah smooches for my favorite boy!!!!!#and smooches for me I’m going to be proud of myself gosh darn it even if I have to fake it at first#see I wouldn’t be able to be nice to myself like this if I hadn’t been doing ketamine treatment for a year IT WORKS BRO KEEP IT UP#SCHEDULE THE DAMN APPOINTMENT AND CLEAN YOUR BONG
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llycaons · 6 months ago
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'jiang cheng would like a strong woman' have you considered she would probably not like him
#if a woman who demands to be treated by respect/maturity/communication meets jc it would be over before it begins#if she has a low tolerance for being yelled at mocked etc. etc. well you can see how short it'll be. even personalized gifts he failed at#he has so much to work on. the only exception is if she likes hot messes I guess and she doesn't mind being yelled at#OR if she wanted to study him like a bug. if she truly sweeps in take control of LP and starts issuing orders#AND likes jc for whatever reason. maybe THAT could work. but it HAS to be a good reason it cannot be 🥺🥺🥺 he had a sad life#or thinks his inability to communicate is sexy or whatever. man idk. I feel like any woman with the independence to choose#would see the red flags immediately and gtfo. as a sect leader he has so much authority. his wife wld possibly bein a rly dangerous positio#actually we have canonical evidence. hi wq. in a lifetime of being legendary your refusal to marry this guy#even tho it meant you'd die a starving enemy of the state is up there as one of the best <3 rest in peace#and yes living a short happy life with wn and granny and a-yuan and wwx and her family#WAS more gratifying and better for her than a long and probably miserable life being jc's obligation wife while he awkwardly does his best#to be a good husband. and fails. because I mean. he needs help and a wife is not gonna fix him. also her family and wwx are dead :/#however our girl made her choice and was spared that fate love and light rest in peace#not that she made it for herself like we know she did it for her family. but I imagine she was like WHEW dodged a bullet there#cql txp
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ningningkittie · 7 months ago
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🦨💭
#even if idk what's going on#it FEELS like i've lost him as a friend. even if he said that like oh you're my friend or whatever. it doesnt feel like it#we havent talked as often lately (not my choice........) anyway and now .. bruh this last week has been AWFUL.#now idek if and how we will talk. like i feel like he doesnt want me annoying him. so i cant even use sending pics of my cat or asking him#random things as an excuse to talk because like... i feel awkward#i've gone from feeling 90% comfortable with him to like 10% lmaoooo#i just feel like he is bothered by me and that i annoy him and i feel stupid and awkward talking to him#so like.....now when idek if we are friends or how we talk#i cant suddenly be like hiiiiii the rain reminded me of you hiihihihihi#not talking to him even a little makes me miserable#but he isnt replying and i dont know what is going on with any of it with him and me so idk#also ://#i cant help but freak out bc of him not following me anymore bc that means that there will be MORE distance between us#i will become even less and less present in his life and world. he will start forgetting me more and more. he will realize that the world#without me is better!!!! he will spend more time andbe more attentive towards everyone else and realize that not having me close is much#better. and that his life is happier and better without me close by T-T plus it's...#i cant lie... it makes me jealous that he had favorite blogs and mutuals who arent me 😭😭#and all of them are better than me in every aspect...... 😭#this will only make the gap between us bigger and he will forget about me!!!!!!!! 🥲#little by little he is reducing the amount of me in his life and since it'll be better he'll keep going until im out of it completely#im gonna die just thinking about it bc i know i know that i dont bringANYTHING good into ppl's lives and im just lucky that it lasts at all
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kindacreepy-kindaugly · 7 months ago
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So. Turns out he hates me (in part) cause I'm the reason he's here
#cause i 'trapped him in my miserable little life'#like ummmmm no offense but you don't actually think if i had ANY control over it it woulda been _you_?#......he took offense#i mean i guess technically he's not wrong he is here cause i need him but#actin like it was intentional? like i specifically wanted him here so he has to experience firsthand the shit he's put me through#as payback#made sure i know he still doesn't regret a single thing he's done to me. as if i didn't already#to him i'm the one who took _him_ away from _his_ life#what do i even say to that?? technically he's not wrong#n whether i meant for somethin to happen never mattered to him#you could always try to make the best of what you're stuck w/ instead of actively makin everything worse but......#i guess the vindication is more important#'ohh of course you woulda rather had your little bf here' like yea? obviously? why does that piss you off so much#also he's not my bf but you know that you just wanted to be condescending#never gonna understand how he's gonna get jealous about someone who isn't even here when he literally hates my guts#i don't want you but no one else can have you either kinda mentality#i guess he don't want me thinkin i have some kinda value aside from my body to someone n not need him anymore#i already have people who value me but emotionally that's not sinkin in#n i guess if i fell in love n was actually loved back i'd be givin someone a part of me that's only ever been his#five minute long groan#can you like. try not bein like this#it's kinda funny though it's so fucking backwards. i took away everything he had? i trapped him here??#i'm makin _him_ feel these things?#babe you only feel em cause _you're_ makin _me_ feel that way n we share a goddamn brain#wrap your head around that one maybe#spdrvent
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