#to draw that shit ���. I also have another drawing of mk based on one specific frame during his fight with azure. like he’s sort of crouching

[puppyeared]

Forever and ever

[rip-a-dip-dip-you-potato-chip]

what have I created?

idk if yall like this, but they just exist not i guess :/

ok the the first one is Royalty AU

first things first, when I say Royalty AU, I don't mean the classic shit we've all become accustomed to. Im talking about the good old Chinese royalty! And I want to emphasize that these guys will/should be dressed in century appropriate attire. As someone thats read a handful of 'marinette, princess of china' fics from the ML Fandom, I've noticed a common trend. Marinette wouldn't be in the culturally appropriate clothes, always ballgowns. Not that there's something wrong with it, its just most of if not all these fic are set in China, so I'd expect Chinese royalty to dress as THERE dress code calls for. And since this AU takes place far in the past like, it won't make sense for any of the characters to be in royal clothing that wasn't from there region. I'm not trying to white knight/gatekeeping. Im Guyanese not Chinese. But since JTTW and Monkie Kid take place in China, it's only right. In my opinion that it. You don't have to outright agree with me.

With out of the way, it's time for that good old AU crack

- Wukong is the king of the Flower Fruit kingdom(or a different one if you'd like, again I'm only familiar with what western culture has taught me, but I'll try my hardest) 

- he’s single but rumor has it he used to/still is dating the Vigilante/thief The Six Eared Macaque

- *chants ShadowPeach violently* 

- no one know whether it true or not

- On of his wanders around the kingdom he finds an abandoned baby in a basket. 

- and no shit sherlock it's fucking baby Xiaotian 

- I think we all know where this is going because i'm a simp for Monkey Dad & Monkie Son shenanigans

- Xiaotian becomes prince

Shit, ill be referring to Xiaotian as Mk from now on, I mentioned this before in a fic I wrote for lmk that Mk's a nickname for Xiaotian for some reason- wait i don't have to explain my self to you people!

- Sun loves his son

- MK is treated differently by staff and others because he's not blood related to the king

- no one mistreats MK per say, because there King loved his adopted son, but words are said behind his back

- Sometimes MK hears what’s said, and he feels as if he won't live up to his dad’s legacy.

- He meets Mei during a festival

- Mei is from a noble family, that wouldn't mind if they got a connection into the royal family.

- but it becomes hella clear to Mei’s family very fast that the two are just friends, and will always will be. but hey there daughter is bffs with the prince so that's a plus.       

_

- the Demon Bull Family is rules a kingdom as well, I dont/am not creative enough to think of a name I leave that to you.

- It's a common misconception that DBK is a tyrant, when he’s not. 

- most of the time...

- they have been at war with the Monkey King for some time now and settled for a peace agreement.

- that agreement being there sons to marry

- oooo original i know

- MK and Red Son are roughly the same age, Mk being 20 and RS 22

- RS is revolted/disgusted at the idea of being wed to the Monkey Kings child, even more so when he realizes MK is adopted,

- but, that all changes the second he meets MK while he meets him by accident when he gets kinda lost in the palace when he and his parents go to discuss the arrangements.

- the second he looks at MK, he's instantly in love. MK less so, he's nervous and honestly kinda bummed he's not marrying someone he loves but it's for the good of his ppl, and he'll do anything for them.

- RS isn't even aware that MK is Suns adopted son until MK walks him back to the meeting room.

"Oh There you are MK! I was about to have a servant go fetch you!" Sun Wukong says, gesturing for his boy to come sit with him.

"S-sorry for keeping you waiting I got caught up in my lessons with Mr. Tang" MK responds, sitting next to his father. Red Son looked gobsmacked. The beautiful young man he had bumped into, was the prince of this land? Damn, life truly blessed him. Or cursed him depending on how you looked at it.

- the two are left alone in a separate room for a while.

- And MK straight up tells RS why he's agreeing to this union.

"Look Red Son. I've dreamed about meeting my one true love for a while. And I would give almost anything for that dram to be real. But I wouldn't ever dare give up my people, for as there price they mean more to me. I'm doing this for them, no other reason" MK says, his back straight and hands folded neatly in his lap. The look in his eyes was a mix of sadness, but that was drowned out by loyalty and determination. It just made Red Son fall for him even harder. Clearing his throat Red spoke.

"I understand, for im doing this for the betterment of my people to. But I propose a wager"

"A wager?"

"Yes, if i can make you fall in love with me by years end, before our marriage, we can live together like in the fairy tales from far away. But if I fail, in a years time afterwards you will be permitted to find your own path in life" Red Son stated. MK took a moment to process what was happening.

"So, if you succeed in making me fall in love with you, before our marriage we can live happily ever after?" Red Son nodded in response, letting the younger continue.

"And if I shouldn't fall for you, in a years time after our union, im free to leave?" Red Son nodded once more.

"So, what do you say?"

...

"Deal"

In the end, your free to choose their fate, should Red Son win the hart of Mk? Will he fail? Or will he let him go, and let him travel the country, after all Mk's a free spirit and keeping him trapped in a big house is like keeping a cannery trapped in a cage only for its song, only for it to dul. Or will the unthinkable happen and will both boys find their freedom? together or appart? I don't know, because that's all up to you 😉

personally, I’m partial to where MK and Red Son both find freedom together. Like they straight up run away together to somewhere far away and just live out there lives together. 

this could also be genderbent thing as well. MK or Red as their respective counterparts. Again it doesn't have to be, but it’s whatever bro. im just spitting out the idea. 

Also, there is a main side plot that they fight the WBS throughout the year as well, along with other shenanigans you wanna throw in.

____

The second is a My Hero Academia/BNH/MHA AU

truth be told i'm not a big fan of MHA i think it to over hyped(this is also coming from the same person that’s a Fairy Tail fan lol), and the fandom i don't even know how to describe that mess, but I will admit not the whole of its toxic since every fandom has some toxic members, some even more so. 

I just sometimes find myself enjoying MHA AUs like the Fullmetal Alchemist, Danny Phantom, Evil!Deuk AU and several others. 

to make it clear I don't see this AU taking place the same time as the main plot of the actual Anime/Manga. This could be either like 6-10 years before or after the plot idk bro. But i’ll do this after the main story plot of MHA, so keep that in mind ya? another thing, the gang is still in China, the top hero school in the world just so happens to be in Japan, and it’s only ever mentioned by Sun wukong and other pro heros. So MK never attended AU. in short it’s only ever mention/ reference.  

_

- Mk was considered Quirkless as a kid. 

- he was just a late blumer, i swear  

- Mai’s Quirk is called Dragon. 

- it pretty much works the same way as it does in the show(duh)

- Tang’s got a knowledge Quirk, 

- my man can retain information and he’s basically an archive of information drawback being his personality lol 

- Piggsy is a Animal that gained a Quirk

- in cannon to my current knowledge, there are two other characters that can confirm animals can become sentient. the characters being Fumikage Tokoyami, & Nezu the principal at the school UA.  

- Sandy is just Conner Kent, aka he like superman but can't fly, or shoot lasers from his eyes. And blue.  

I have two scenarios for Macaque and Wukong  

*- The first one is that, Sun Wukong & Macaque are brothers. twins to be exact. 

- they where legit people, but have mutation quirks that made them too like monkeys. 

- the added powers were just a boues. 

- Sun and Mac are close growing up, like there brothers but also best friends.

- the draw back to there quirks could honestly be whatever you want bro idk, same with the others tbh. Personally I like to think Sun just has lack of motivation, and Macaque needs to draw on other people's energy.

- Sun is a hero, Monkey KIng and Mac is a villain Six Eared.

- Sun was always treated has the golden child in the family, Mac always resented that, but there shitty up bring didn’t stop the two from being good brothers to one another.

- soon tho the resentment became hatred when Sun was able to attend UA in Japan, while Mac didn't.

- Mac be angy 

- so he became a villain, and joined the Chinese branch of the LOV(league of villains)

- Sun doesn't know this till he finds out during the all out war during the main story. and by that time he’s a full on hero with is own agency(The Flower Fruit agency)    

- when the hero's ultimately win and Mac is arrested 

- This ultimately hurts Sun a lot, his brother was in jail now, arrested for his involvement and wrong doings, he knew nothing about this! this brother, his blood. A bad guy? why? he hadn't seen his brother since he left for UA, he hadn’t seen him when he came home, and started his agency. 

- this just puts Sun into a funk so he’s not as active as he used to be, and he starts thinking he might need a successor 

*- The second one is that they were two separate people that had similar quirks and both attended UA but Sun ended up in the hero corse. so 1A.

- Both Macaque and Sun have similar quirks, Sun’s is obviously more light based while Macaque’s is more shadow based(this applies to the first one as well)    

- Macaque was placed in class 1B, U.A.’s High's Heroics Department, I believe, you can correct me. 

- In cannon Class 1A and 1B both went to the training camp. I can see the teachers pinning Sun and Macaque against each other to hone their skills. 

- And because of that they become great friends    

- In fact when they graduate they both co-found there hero agency together in China and are a duo.

- But due to Monkey King’s popularity and Six Eared's association with shadows(people sometimes saying he has more of a villains quirk than a heros) the public see’s Macaque as Sun’s sidekick when thats far from the truth. 

- now it’s up to you whether you think that Wukong and Macaque would be in a relationship together, but knowing how cooked we all are, ShadowPeach is a thing here more than likely. 

- If you do or don’t support/ like the ShadowPeach aspect, the two would be living together regardless since its more cost efficient. 

- They my be heroes but living costs are expensive!   

- I would imagine there would have been a huge fight/argument between the two in privet of course, at there home.(or in there shared office if you want the extra angst of the other people they work with hearing them fight)   

- If the two are dating, then this would either lead to an out right breakup, or Macaque just up and leaving with Wukong thinking he’ll come back once he’s cooled off. But after a week, with no sign of his partner, or him answering texts or calls, not even coming into work. Wukong gets worried that something might have happened to him. so there wouldn't be a confirmation if they were still a thing or not. 

- But Wukong remains hopeful, despite the nagging at the back of his head, and gut telling him to go find Macaque, or atleast make a public statement, or even just tell another pro hero about it.   

- on the not so shippy side, Macaque and Wukong still have there argument, and much like the ShadowPeach esc side, Macaque up and leaves, and isn't seen for weeks. the only difference here is that when Wukong comes home one night to there flat, most if not all of Macaques stuff is gone. 

- where as if this was the ShadowPeach side, Macaque leaves all of his possession in the flat he and wukong share. for the simple reason being, he still loves him and wants to go back, but Macaque being Macaque can’t bring himself to do it, especially after seeing just how hurt Wukong looked when he yelled at him just before he left.  

- in other words, ANGST DIALED UP TO A 10 BABY  

- in either case, its a news report that confirms Wukong's suspicions that he desperately didn’t want to believe, and that is Macaque turning into a villain.

- much like if the two were brothers, Wukong just can’t take it and is no longer as active as he once was, and is thinking about, either A) Retirement  B) Saying, “Fuck Society, Be Gay Do Crime” and join Macaque as a villain himself, or C) find a successor, and a way to bring Macaque back to there side, but most importantly, back to him.    

- also extra points if you're after people's hearts and want to make them suffer;  - If there dating, Wukong curle’s up in the bed he and Macaque shared, holding/wearing something of great value to Macaque and just crying himself to sleep, where as Macaque is getting wasted on alcohol, as he stumbles out of the bar he’s in, he either see’s something that reminds him of Wukong or while he’s trying to put his wallet back into his pocket, a photo of them on their first date fall’s out. and Macaque just cries in a nearby alley way. And it’s there where he gets indoctrinated into the League.

       - If there just friends, macaque heads to the nearest forest and just levels it, where as Wukong just gets engrossed into his work, trying not to think about it. you could add you own spin on this, again i'm just spitballing.             

- NOW BACK TO MK! :D     

- Obviously MK is a huge Monkey King fan     

- at Twenty MK has come to terms he's quirkless (HE’S NOT)

-for ANGST reasons MKs fokes kicked him out at this realization at 13.

- he works at Piggsy's Noodle shop, and has been since he was 14.

- don't need a quirk to drive or cook!

- the boy lives a content life with his new family, till DBK happens :D

- DBK runs a Mafia(in conjunction with TLOV) and has been in jail for like 5 years thanks to Monkey King, PIF and RS brake him out one night when MK's out making a late night delivery since Piggsy had the bright idea to go 24/7 service!

- one thing leads to another and Mk somehow manifest what looks like the Monkey King's staff, but its not, it’s MKs powers, it just so happens to be the same power the Monkey King has. And it practically goes down the same way in the pilot. 

- but unlike the pilot Mk and Mei go straight to the FF Agency, after making a panicked call to Pigsy and Tang.

- one way or another Mk are lead into Wukongs office. Mei being forced to stay in the lobby.

- they have there convo, butterfly monkey squishing included.

- "And so, I want you do be my success-" BOOM 💥

- from there they rush downstairs and see that the lobby has been infiltrated by the DB fam, and you know fight.

- once the DB family seems like there down, PIF wisks them away. Much to Monkey King’s displeasure.

From there stuff kind plays out like cannon, the calabash ep is just a conjoint quirk the Demon bros have. As for EP9, ill have to script that one out myself lol. I'll get onto it as soon as my will to commit stabs me in the face. Till then have a dancing Kermit the frog.

Now if you'll excuse me, am about to Kermit a felony :D

(For legal reasons thats a joke)

Psst @writingamongther0ses its done

[kagrenacs]

Explaining the Iceberg #5

*Not everything is covered, take note of trigger warnings before the links

Altmeri Poetic-Architecture: Referencing a response by Lawrence Shick to a question about Alinor buildings resembling insect wings and glass. There was a lot of criticism directed towards the appearance of Altmeri buildings in ESO when it first debuted, and then again when Summerset launched. Shick commented that, despite fanciful descriptions, their materials are still practical, and that architects can’t create buildings from poetry.

Megalomoths: Similar to the Sunbirds of Alinor, Megalomoths are spaceships that look like moths.

Dreugh Undersea Cities: From Mankar Cameron’s and Vivec’s writings. Both indicate the dreugh have (or had) their own empire, or other sorts of colonies that exist underwater.

Possi/impossipoint: Some more MK jargon, an impossipoint is a point in time where nothing suddenly becomes something. Likewise, a possipoint is where something that exists, can become something else. Essentially moments in time where something changes.

Night Mother is Mephala: A well known theory by this point. An in-universe and out of universe theory that Mephala is actually the Night Mother, and that the animosity between the DB and Morag Tong is her own creation.

The Oghma: Presuming this references to the Oghma Infinium. A book created by the wizard Xarxes, he named it after his wife, Oghma, who he made from his favorite moments in history. In general, an Oghma seems to refer to a journal or a recorded history.

Sovngarde on the moon: Shor/Lorkhan is the ruler of Sovngarde. His corpse is also said to be the two moons. This theory ties the two together and proposes Sovngarde is/is on the moons.

Misanthropic Space: Not much on this one. Taken together, Misanthropic means dislike of humanity. The book Sithis mentions that Sithis the god is sometimes thought of as misanthropic. Considering he’s also considered the void itself, Misanthropic space may refer to this.

Tharnatos: The Cyrodillic sect of the Mythic Dawn, mentioned in the Redguard forums. As a side note, tharn-atos probably refers to the Tharn family, of which Jagar Tharn had ties to Mehrunes Dagon

Continental Time: This draws from MK’s C0da and other threads. At the end of c0da a new universe is born, in a later thread (since deleted, it was a jab at the Otherkin community), MK states that this universe is Akavir, and that Yokuda (misspoken as Hammerfell) was the past (this might be a reference to timezones in the real world, but judging from previous comments from MK regarding his writing on the Redguard history I doubt this). This would mean the Redguards are from an entirely different universe and not related to the other humans, which is racist! This lore has since been disowned by MK and LadyN, but fans still perpetuate this theory. This post discusses racism within the writing. (PLEASE NOTE, that if you click the final link or search for MK’s statements on the Redguard lore, there are some anti-indigenous statements by him) https://betterbemeta.tumblr.com/post/190628347692/corsairesix-fallout-new-vegas-2010

The Marukhaki Selective: A sect of the Alessian Order that was named after the First Era prophet Markuh. They caused the Middle Dawn, an especially long Dragon Break, by trying to remove Auri-El from Akatosh.

The Prime Gesalt: Another name for the Numidium. Gestalt comes from the german word for shape, and refers to a school of psychology that essentially looks at behavior and consciousness as a whole. Essentially this is probably referencing the theory that the souls of the Dwemer became the ‘skin’ of the Numidium, like cells in a body.

The Jills: Described as ‘female dragons’ (why they’re female when dragons traditionally have no gender, and not just a subset of dragons/Aka, is an unfortunate product of cis writers). They’re agents of Akatosh(more attributed to Alkosh, the dragon-cat) who mend tears in time. They’re described sometimes as sub-gradients which essentially means they’re small shards of Akatosh’s soul.

Versidue-Shaie still alive: Not much was found on this, but i don’t think much is needed. Probably a theory that the Tsaesci Potenate of the 1st Era wasn’t assassinated and is alive.

Molag Bal Destroyed Tamriel: Not much found on this either, I didn’t look particularly hard however, because there’s a lot of nasty shit people write about Molag Bal! If I had to take a stab at it, I'd assume it looks at the fragments of Nirn in Coldharbour and theorizes these may be from previous Kalpas. Possibly from Kalpas Molag Bal himself destroyed.

Seekers and Ascended Seekers: A possible (if flimsy) connection between Hermaeus Mora’s Seekers (seen in Dragonborn) and the Ascended Seekers of Morrowind. The book, Sithis has a line that states ‘Come unto the Sharmat Dagoth Ur as a friend AE HERMA MORA ALTADOON PADHOME LRKHAN AE AI’   This thread discusses this theory and why there’s probably no connection better than I can.

Ordinated Receptile: Possibly another name for the Eye of Magnus. The King of the Kamal from Akavir landed at Winterhold stating he was searching for the ordinated receptacle 

Varlinance+ No results from any site, there seems to be a typo in this entry

Rorikstead: A theory stating that Rorikstead is actually a cultist hotspot. Based on the fact that one of the characters seen in Skyrim, Rorik, states he founded the town. Previously in this area there was a town named Rorik’s Steading, founded by a man named Rorik. There are other key points, Rorikstead having good crop production and soul gems found in every house.

Sovengarde Shor’s Kalpic Army: Sovengarde is described as a hall where the spirits of Nords wait until the ‘final reckoning’ If taken with the obscure text ‘Shor, son of Shor.’ This is explained by the Kalpa cycle, where the universe is reborn and the Ehlnofey wars begin again. Also, this resembles the Norse mythology of Ragnarok.

World-Refusals/Anti-Creation: A primarily Dwemeri school of thought. Basically the denial of the world and existence, either to return to the state prior to the creation of Mundus (godhood essentially) or the nothingness/collective unity of souls before things learned to be separate. 

Mathematical Atheism: In the context of tes, this is probably another Dwemer belief. Mathematical Atheism is used to describe a couple different things over the years, but taken in context, I’m guessing it’s comparable to the irl philosophy that math isn’t something fundamentally woven into the universe. It’s more like a language humans have came up with to describe what we see, and aliens may have a totally different language of math than us.

Many Ysgramors: As if one wasn’t enough, a theory based on the fact that Ysgramor exists as a Draugr, and as a Soul in Sovengarde. Either the deeds of multiple people got attributed to his name, or there were multiple people named Ysgramor.

The Crux of Transcendence: another name for the Mantella (the big old soul gem that powers the Numidium when the heart doesn’t)

(D)aedric artifacts sentient: Fairly straightforward, artifacts are the essence of a d/aedra, condensed into an object, they also change hands fairly often, appearing in random locations, possibly by a mechanism inherent to the artifacts themselves. Excluding special cases like Umbra, this theory proposes the artifacts may make conscious choices to jump around.

Paleonumerology: A field of study within tes. Numbers carry significant symbolic value (the sharmat, 1+1, the tower being a 1, ect). Paleonumerology is studying these numbers, their historic basis, and their relation to the physical world. Remember when I said math is the language of the universe? Well this would be it.

Jagar Tharn was good: An argument supporting Jagar Tharn. If he was such a powerful mage, there’s a chance he knew Uriel Septim would be the last heir, and imprisoned him to keep the dragonfires lit. There’s more to it than that, here’s the full thread if you’re interested.

Aldmeris was real (in my mind): The ingame theory that Aldmeris is nothing more than a myth, acting as a setting for ancient stories, or a previous name for the Summerset Isles and/or Tamriel.

Vivec killed Moraelyn: Moraelyn, a member of the Ra’athim clan, was called the witch-king of Ebonheart, during the first era. He has no notable connection to Vivec, so i’m a little confused at this one. My best guess is Moraelyn was likely a proto-version of Nerevar, therefore this might be a roundabout statement regarding Foul Murder

Divine Skin/Dwemer Numidium Skin: A noncanonical statement by MK saying he believes the Dwemer’s souls were collectively absorbed, becoming the Numidium’s ‘skin’ 

The Dream: The thought that the entirety of the TES universe is either metaphorically, or literally, a dream. Metaphorically speaking, it’s a way to conceptualize the universe, everyone is a character playing a part in the dream, an individual in their own right, but ultimately a part of a greater whole. Literally speaking, the universe may be the Dream of Anu, who is using the universe to comprehend his grief at the loss of Nir and Padomay. It may also be the dream of an entity higher than Anu, called The Godhead. And even beyond this, the Godhead might be a metaphor for the creators of The Elder Scrolls, the world being their creation/drea

True Nords are all Bandits: The observation that bandits within Skyrim often call the gods by their Nordic names, rather than acknowledging their imperialized counterparts. 

Sotha Sil’s Last words: An obscure text written BEFORE the release of Morrowind. The author is anonymous, but many speculate that a dev wrote this.

Deep ones: In oblivion, in the town of Hackdirt there are books mentioning the worship of ‘The Deep Ones’ as you descend into the town you can see where the townsfolk worship these entities. There are a good deal of theories about what the Deep ones are, but they’re probably taken from the Cthulhu Mythos, specifically the Shadow over Innsmouth and the short story ‘Dagon’. 

Nirnroot tiny towers: https://www.reddit.com/r/teslore/comments/4qdw78/tiny_towers_a_nirnroot_theory/ A half-serious theory that states Nirnroots are created by the Hist to reinforce the towers and prevent them from ‘erroding’ 

The Loveletter from the Fifth-Era: A noncanonical MK text that acts as the precursor to C0da. A letter sent from the future discussing Landfall and the events afterwards.

Kagrenac possessed Dagoth Ur/Sharmat: Dagoth Ur was said to hold the same motivations as Kagrenac, ie: remove colonizers from their home. Going a step further to look at non canonical sources, specifically the Dwemer Numidium Skin statement, Kagrenac was attempting to share godhood among the Dwemer, and may have succeeded. Morrowind shows us that Dagoth Ur was attempting to do the same. The main theory here is that Kagrenac’s spirit may have possessed Dagoth Ur and was the source of his motivations, or that an entity more powerful than both of them, the Sharmat, possessed them/took them over. The Sharmat may be metaphorical or literal, either a desire for power, a hunger for something more (which is comparable to Lorkhan creating Nirn, in an effort to find something more/enlighten everyone, or to his darker manifestations, the Greedy man, the thief, ect.)

Cuhlecain Reman Bloodline: In universe speculation that Emperor Cuhlecain (the ‘emperor’ before Tiber) and Reman are related.

Cyrodiil Spread to the Stars: Found within ‘Where were you when the Dragon Broke?” Empress Hestra of the Alessian Order, who ruled during the Middle Dawn, stated that the Cyrodiil empire spread to the stars. This could refer to the goals of the Marukhati Selectives in ‘removing Auri-el from Akatosh’, effectively exerting will upon the gods(stars) themselves. Or more likely, a reference to the out of game texts discussing space travel during the Middle Dawn.

Anti-CHIM: Separate from Zero-Summing (having an existential crisis so hard you disappear) although the two are sometimes used synonymously. While CHIM is realizing you’re just one part of a larger whole, while retaining individuality, and Zero-Summing is realizing you’re one part of a whole, but unable to accept that, Anti-CHIM is a person realizing their part in the universe, but refusing to accept it, instead gaining the ability to manipulate the universe but essentially seeing themselves as the center of it, instead of another part. https://teslore.fandom.com/wiki/Anti-CHIM:_A_Concept_and_Theory

Thalmor and Jygalagg: A theory that states that the Thalmor worship Jygalagg due to his nature as the prince of ‘order’

Dibella=Y’ffre: A thought that these two deities of nature and beauty are the same entity. This theory is mostly hinged on the (very cishet) thought that mer are feminine and have the masculine god Y’ffre (who is described as female in lore occasionally), and men are masculine and have Dibella who is feminine.

The Void Ghost: Described as the lost spirit of Lorkhan, who remains because his work isn’t done. 

House cats are Khajiit spies: Referring to the Afliq, a form of Khajiit that resembles a housecat. Because of this they’re often used as spies.

TEM (Warspore Tiberia): From the text Cyrus vs.Tiber Septim, either a battleship or battlespire.

The Athedorix Conundrums: A book that is never actually seen in game, and only mentioned briefly. Said to contain 9 riddles that drive people mad.

Aetherius Dream Visitation: Pretty much what it sounds like. The ability to travel to one another’s dreams (probably through the Dreamsleeve)

Revelation at the Death of Alesh: While this doesn’t directly refer to anything I've found, I'm guessing it’s discussing Marukh the Prophet, who in a state of near death was visited by Alessia’s spirit.

Empire ended in 3E 417: This year could be seen as a beginning to an end. The warp in the west occurred, allowing the Underking to die, keening and sunder were lost to Dagoth Ur, which eventually lead to the empire taking an interest in Morrowind and the Heart being ‘destroyed’ leading up to the events of Morrowind and Oblivion and the end of the Septims. As a side note, this seems to be an original theory by the original author of the iceberg, as i can only find it in association with discussions like these.

Coldharbour is the remains of Lyg: The only discussion on this is on 4pleb, while I don’t give enough shits to read that thread, if I had to guess this would be a theory connecting Coldharbours mimicry of Tamriel, to Lyg being a parallel to Tamriel

Falmer White souls: An observation that in Skyrim, the Falmer souls fit into white soul gems, instead of black soul gems. Some theorize this is a result of the Dwemer’s curse upon them, shrinking their souls.

[puttingfingerstokeys]

honor among thieves

Okay this one came from a conversation with @sxvethelastdance, as usual, about MK rarepairs and idk what the fuck else... I legitimately thought I invented this shit. Evidently I did not. 

If age difference squicks you, don’t read this ‘cause it’s Kung Jin and Erron Black--I’m calling the ship Honor Among Thieves. There’s no, like, actual sex happening in this right here right now, but since they’re both grown ass adult men, one might infer. 

Uh quick context, Jin is SF liaison in Outworld, works closely with Kotal’s Kourt. Erron still works for Kotal. This kind of connects with some other shit I’m doin’ so, idk... see if you can spot the common threads and I cannot believe I’m sayin’ this shit but (a la ff.net), don’t like, don’t read? Is that a thing anymore? 

Broken AND Prevented Timeline--this happens in both in some fashion

The soft, warm light of celebratory bonfires flickered outside the window and the sound of voices and merriment filtered up over the balcony railing, diaphanous curtains flowing inward in the gentle, Outworld breeze. Stars shone far above and the glow of a lunar body had begun to creep its way across the breadth of the bed, having already made a silvery path along piles of clothing, strewn almost violently here and there. 

Kung Jin stretched out on his side, rolling his shoulders and sighing audibly. His eyes, long having adjusted to the darkness, watched those curtains, saw the sky outside, wondered what it was like to be out there, up above it all, observing everything. It was a flight of fancy for a few precious moments before reality began to close in on him, squeezing tightly. The buzz of whatever he’d had to drink had begun to wear off and he was, in a word, terrified.

A sudden, multi-pointed pressure at his back brought gooseflesh to every inch of him, radiating outward. They were rough fingers, of course, drawing themselves up and down his back in various, gentle patterns. Jin sighed, surprised and oddly pleased that Erron Black, the mercenary cowboy, had not simply dropped off afterward. 

“Where’d you learn that?” 

“Which bit?” The fingers stopped. Jin wiggled and they continued. He laughed through his nose.

“This.”

“You’re never gunna believe it.”

“Try me.” Never one to back down from a challenge, Jin was certain nothing Erron could say would surprise him in any way. The chuckle from the man behind him, that lazy, whiskey smooth sound, brought still more gooseflesh to his skin and Jin began to wonder if he couldn’t go another round.

“Kano,” he grunted, “back in the Black Dragon. He says t’me, ‘Erron,’ he says, ‘blokes who drop off—blow an’ go’ his words, ‘are right cunts. They never see that tail again. You wanna keep a Sheila, tickle ‘er back. Gets ‘em ev’rytime.’ So I figured, hell, why not? S’worth a shot.”

The impression of Kano, what little Jin knew of him… recordings and the late General Blade’s descriptions, was spot on. He pulled a face at the curtains and grunted out a “hm” at the mention of “Sheilas”.

“Listen, I know he was a chauvinist fuck, bless his worthless, piece of crap soul,” Erron declared, “but… yer still here, right? An’ I’m still here, so… maybe there’s some’n to that.”

Jin considered Erron’s words. He had not gone into this with the thought that he could do this again. Truthfully, he had not even been certain Erron would be interested in him, or this, or anything. The man was inscrutable, even without the mask.

“Did you… want there to be something?” Jin turned over now, facing Erron, who had removed his mask and set it aside. For a man Cassie’s father’s age, he was beautiful. The years had been kind, even if his job had not. Maybe it was something in the Outworld air; it could not have been his work with the Black Dragon. “I mean… I get it… We’re busy. I’m liaising for SF and the emperor, and you’re like, what, on the council now?”

“Yeah...guess I am.” Erron seemed almost embarrassed to admit this. Kotal Kahn had bestowed the honor upon him at the ceremony the previous evening, which had also honored Edenia as a separate nation and began negotiations to carve out proper territory for Kitana and her people. Separating the realms was, regrettably, impossible at this point, but Kotal was ready, willing, and able to facilitate the best alternative. With an Edenian empress, he was doubly motivated. 

Jin pushed some hair, which had come free of his otherwise orderly ponytail, out of his face to better observe the other man’s eyes. The ponytail itself had made for an excellent handle, once he had shown Erron Black where to grab. He would not be forgetting that. 

“You earned it, you know...” Jin said, reaching out and grasping one of Erron’s hands in both of his own. “I’m not stupid. You care about this place… about what Kotal’s doing. You believe in it. He can see that… I can see it too.”

Erron grunted. He was not about to admit that, not even to Jin and certainly not to himself. His mind was a sharp, strategic one and Kotal Kahn had seen the value in it. That was all. Earthrealmer or not, Erron Black was an asset… a well-paid asset. 

“Turn over,” he said, gruffly, pulling his hand away. Jin’s eyes widened a moment before he complied, surprised at the tone. He had not been expecting round two so soon, but he would not protest. He had run Erron through the ringer this evening. The least he could do was comply with a little turnabout.

Rather than hands upon his body, however, he felt those strong fingers close about the base of his ponytail instead. With the other hand, Erron grabbed the band itself and began gently to extract it, taking care not to pull or strain any hair unnecessarily. The motion was fluid, slow, and deliberate, but before long, he had it free and was handing the elastic band over Jin’s shoulder. 

“Did ah… Kano teach you that, too?” Jin chuckled, laying the band on the carved wooden side table. 

“Nah,” said the cowboy, “that was all me. It… looked tight, is all.”

Jin was flabbergasted. He truly had not known what to expect when he had first made a move (or several) on Erron Black, but this was not it. At most, he had figured the guy would reject him, if gently because he didn’t seem like the type of person who favored violence for its own sake. Getting him all the way here, to a room he thought was most likely his, though in the drunken haze, it was hard to tell, had been miracle two for the evening.

The rest of it was fuzzy, but not unpleasant. He had a certain satisfied ache in his backside that told the tale of pleasures unremembered but which must have been exactly what he wanted. Groaning, he turned over again and this time, emboldened by Erron’s words along with his unexpected sweetness, Jin leaned in and, for the first time that night (now approaching morning), laid his lips upon the other man’s and kissed him, long and slow.

[incognitowetrust]

I finally got this done. Now I can move on.

Bruhs I guess this technically has been, like, a month, huh? Fuck. 

Well, I know for most of you following me, this won’t be very relevant, but because I got into MK, I had to make two OCs. It took me a long ass time to make the references, because I wanted to have decent enough shading/coloring. I often spend a lot longer on the 1st drawing of a character, because I’ll be designing the character as I go along, and it’s all about planning out and making an idea into a actual image, which is why I often add a lot of detail, because it’s another thing that’s part of me thinking out and processing what I want the smaller details of a character to be like. 

Well... I hope you can get some enjoyment outta this friggin’ mess. Lol, now proceed to watch me never draw or use these characters again. Jk Jk... probably. 

Adding the text details and backstory garbage under the “read more”.

Naknada OC, “Strayer” also known as “Mama”:

Personality: Difficulty trusting others, solitary, critical, resentful towards greed, resentful towards Outworld, respects the shaolin, soft spot for children and young adults, surprisingly caring.

Fighting style: She doesn’t like opponents to get within stabbing or grabbing distance, that’s probably why she gravitated towards using a halberd, which has some reach to it, as well as a whip, which can be used to snag or snap at foes. Knives always have their uses, so she carries those as well. Due to being self-preservative, she would rather avoid dangerous situations, but she’s no coward, and will fight tooth and nail if she has to. 

Overview: Strayer is a female naknada who was originally a slave in Outworld. She once had a son, and though being slaves is obviously a rough life, Strayer wasn’t willing to attempt an escape or something of that sort in fear of the punishments she or her son could face. Her son was quicker to break obedience, and became extremely defiant, as well as being a troublemaker, which ultimately caused him to get killed. Distraught, and deciding she had nothing left to lose, Strayer lost much of the fear that kept her in line, and decided she was going to leave her slave life one way or another, even if it was death. She managed to escape, and, figuring she was pretty much done with Outworld altogether, decided she’d be better off if she fled to Earthrealm. Not that she expected to meld with human groups or anything, far from it, it was more of a matter of her believing Earthrealm would be an easier place for her to be safe in. Before she did move to Earthrealm, she spent a while gathering and stealing supplies, some of which included items with magic properties, so that when she left Outworld to be a loner she would feel at least a bit more prepared. 

It had only been in earthrealm a matter of days before Strayer encountered Kitty, who was only around 6 years old at the time. Strayer’s reaction to Kitty was perhaps comparable to how humans react to finding orphaned baby animals (in fact, based off of this and Kitty’s name, Strayer sometimes refers to Kitty as “kitten”). Other species babies are always cuter after all. It wouldn’t be hard to argue that as a naknada, Strayer’s decision to take in Kitty could have been motivated by greed, but she would have helped Kitty regardless, she is far from heartless and if she acts selfish, it is likely from self preservation and survival, not greed. After all, Strayer was once a mother, she doesn’t want to see children getting hurt, and wasn’t willing to assume that the next person who might stumble across Kitty would be benevolent. 

Strayer would have returned Kitty to her family, but upon inquiring to the young girl about the circumstances of her situation, Kitty confirmed that she didn’t really have anyone she could turn to (or at least, that’s what she thought. Jun Shi had a lot of recovery to do, and was a lot more of a brotherly than fatherly figure, but he would have attempted to watch over her). With that, Strayer basically adopted Kitty right then and there. She isn’t an outwardly affectionate type, but got attached to her new weird daughter very quickly. At first, she attempted to discourage Kitty from calling her “Mama”, but when she got used to it, she simply accepted it as another name. 

Mama now takes her protective role pretty seriously. Sure, there is technically some selfishness in how she is overprotective of Kitty, sometimes it may be difficult to decide if some of her behaviors are protective or possessive, but ultimately she cares a lot about Kitty, and does make efforts to keep her happy. She does feel some guilt around the fact that due to their lifestyle, and often strict rules, contributes to Kitty often feeling lonely from being largely isolated from other people, but Strayer tries to do whatever she feels is best for both of them. She is distrusting towards the world (er… worlds), having had come from such a rough background, and does not believe she can rely on others to help or protect her. 

Knowing that there very well could be a time when she cannot keep Kitty safe herself, Mama Strayer at one point made the decision to move to and stay around the Henan province. Strayer isn’t exactly someone who socializes easily, so she doesn’t like to get “too” close to where the shaolin monks are… but she actually has a bit of a soft spot for them, considering them a trustworthy group of people. Strayer has instructed Kitty that if a dire situation should arise, she should flee to the shaolin. 

Human/earthrealmer OC, “Kitty”, also known as “Kit”, “Kitten”, and “Gilder”: 

Personality: Open, friendly, fearful of loss, fearful of electricity and deep water, lonely, blunt, well-meaning, innocent and a little naive but not entirely dumb, can be goofy and flirty, dislikes blatantly selfish people. 

Fighting style: She uses her gold magic to smash, pound, burn, melt, and jab her opponents. She’ll throw whatever she’s got. Opponents within close proximity had best watch out for her molten metal vomit, she can spew it at will. She has a habit of going all-out, but over time will tire, which will leave her with more vulnerable openings to be countered by an opponent who has high endurance or evasive skills. 

Overview: Kitty Gow Gilder was originally born in Scotland. Her mother (Maisie Gilder) also had magic to manipulate metal, but didn’t produce gold. However, it’s safe to assume that Kitty most likely inherited the gold trait from somewhere in her family line. Her parents weren’t fighters, instead opting to use metal magic to assist in their metal smithing/crafting. Kitty’s father (Gavin Gow) passed away when she was a toddler, and her mother remarried a few years later. The stepfather was Chinese (Cheng Li), and, seeing the idea of moving to a new region as a good way to have a new start, Kitty’s family moved to China, and took up residence in a modest village, where Kitty’s mother continued metalworking, and Kitty’s stepfather made elixirs with all sorts of uses, as well as overseeing the growth of two pupils. The stepfather didn’t have any children of his own, and was perfectly happy to see his stepdaughter and pupils as his children. 

Kitty’s young childhood was stable and decent for a few more years, but when she was six, both her mother and stepfather died via a betrayal from one of the stepfather’s pupils (Qi Fan), who attempted to frame the other pupil (Jun Shi) so he could succeed their master. Kitty’s mother got sick, which wasn’t all serious, but Jun Shi wanted to make her feel better anyway so made an elixir to do just that, however, Qi Fan poisoned it, resulting in Maisie dying. But things didn’t really go as planned, and Kitty’s stepfather and Jun Shi figured out that something was up… so, long story short-ish, “shit went down” at Kitty’s family’s house, and during the skirmish Cheng Li was killed. Kitty was present for the event, and was beyond a state of panic and confusion. She hardly knew how to use her magic yet, but the surge of adrenaline and fear caused her to projectile vomit a large amount of molten metal, which nearly killed Qi Fan, but he survived, and was driven away to flee in agony. Jun Shi has been terribly injured by Qi Fan, and though he did survive after his fellow villagers came to his aid, he had fallen unconscious, to Kitty appearing dead, and she didn’t stay around long enough to see him be safe.

Confused, disoriented, and so frightened she hardly understood what was going on or what to do, she fled from her house and into the forest outside of the village, and subsequently wandered aimlessly, and became lost. Though, she did not believe she had anyone to turn to regardless. 

She found aid from an unlikely source when she crossed paths with Strayer by accident. Both were pretty surprised at each other, but considering how scary a naknada look to some children, Kitty wasn’t startled at all. Due to the fresh trauma, it took her time to climb out of a shocked, exhausted, and frightened shell that had left her struggling to even think or speak straight, but her condition improved dramatically after Strayer took her into her tent, fed her, and allowed her a safe place to have a hard sleep. 

Kitty struggled with stress and grief early on in Strayer’s care, by no fault of Strayer of course, she was troubled from what she had to go through. Over time, she found happiness again as she and Strayer became comfortable around one another, and slowly developed their own type of family. The first times Kitty referred to Strayer as “Mama” were actually accidental, the same way a kid might slip up and call a teacher “mom”, but after a few years Kitty started saying it in earnest. 

Her life wasn’t perfect, but Kitty settled into her new existence pretty well. She and Mama Strayer took care of one another, and lived in their own sense of “normal”. Having a good deal of spare time on her hands, Kitty spent hours a day self-educating herself on how to use her gold magic through experience. She never received much in terms of formal training to fight besides whatever advice and guidance Mama could offer, but she gained enough self control to which she could fight and hold her own. Since she has reached adulthood, Strayer has allowed Kitty to have a little more independence, though she is strongly discouraged from being overly friendly towards strangers. She is especially discouraged from flirting… yeah, no bringing dudes home to the tent or staying overnight anywhere. Kitty complies with most of Mama’s rules, with the understanding that Mama has a lot more life experience, and has never really done anything to her that would give her a reason to distrust her, so she tries to keep a good level of self-awareness with her actions. Despite not being able to know a lot of people, Kitty still wants to be friendly, so does this by secretly giving people gifts, often gold, or made of gold. She has a want to be helpful and kind, or to at least make people happy, even if she doesn’t get to see it all the time. Like Mama Strayer. She has a strong dislike for greed, if someone was to hound her for gold, namely if that person doesn’t need it, she may possibly respond with violence. If someone in need comes to her out of desperation, she will likely not respond with aggression, but demand that if she grants the person the gold they ask for, that they do not speak of it or her. 

 Item guide. 

1 and 2- Bags

Strayer/Mama and Kitty each have their own bag they use to carry useful items in. While the bags' space is not infinite, they bear a magic property that allows them to carry a lot more than they look like they should. Strayer/Mama is not above stealing items she feels like she needs to. After meeting Kitty, her need to steal in order to get by decreased significantly, since the two can use gold to trade for pretty much whatever necessities they need. Though, ol' Mama Strayer still maintains a certain level of social avoidance. Despite the often distrusting naknada being overprotective towards Kitty, as an earthrealmer if the two gotta speak with earthrealmers, Kitty naturally has the home field (and resting friendly-face) advantage, and Strayer accepts that being glued to Kitty 100% of the time may do more damage than good. The two only part ways for short periods of time when they do, and remain within a reasonable distance. They're rather nomadic, as well as preferring to keep a low profile. Kitty often feels lonely and isolated, due to the lack of people she actually gets to be friendly towards. 

3- Peanut butter and honey

Kitty has a fondness for honey and peanut butter. When Kit was younger, Mama would let her have a spoonful here and there as a treat for good behavior. 

4- Some whistles

A whistle is a good item to have if you need to get someone’s attention in a pinch. Sometimes it’s easier than yelling, and Strayer and Kitty don’t want an avoidable accident killing or badly hurting either of them, so they usually each bring a whistle with them if they have to be out of eyesight of each other, so that if one gets hurt, the other can rush to help. 

5- “eyebaubles”

A pair of magic trinkets. Two people each carrying one can see what the other is doing, or at least get an idea, because one eye shows what’s in eyesight of the other, and vice versa. 

6- Tenthouse

The set up tent that Strayer and Kitty use as a house a good deal of the time. Like the bags, it is bigger on the inside than the outside. Strayer doesn’t bother collecting tons of items she does not consider useful, but she has collected some wall hangings to make the makeshift house more customized and homey. The tent cannot be taken down while there are sentient beings occupying it. Otherwise, when the tent needs to be moved, it will disappear when the anchoring spikes are removed. To set up the tent, someone simply needs to get one spike in the ground, and the other three will move to the appropriate placement on their own. 

7- Purification flask

A container with magic properties. It purifies water to a crystal clear high quality. Water filtered in this flask may assist in keeping wounds safe from infection if poured on, or soaked into the wound. 

8- Sewing and knitting

Both Mama Strayer and Kitty know how to sew and knit, though Mama is better at it. 

9 and 10- Bouncey ball, and Kitty’s doodlepad and crayons 

Strayer wasn’t always obvious about gestures of affection towards Kitty, but one thing she did regular give Kitty as a child were toy balls with a good bounce (because Kitty liked seeing how high she could launch them), and basic drawing supplies. Though grown up, Kitty still enjoys making drawings with crayons. 

11- Gold objects

While a lot of the gold Kitty produces comes in the form of molten metal and chunky nuggets, she is able to manipulate her gold with a decent level of skill. She likes making little figurines of people and animals, and she can also mimic/print her own coins. Though she does not get to socialize a ton, sometimes she’ll sneak little gifts to people in the form of objects she has made, or non-specific shaped gold if she is not carrying a region’s usual currency and feels like someone deserves a bit of money. Strayer has mixed feelings about Kitty secretly gifting people, because she likes that Kitty is good hearted, but is concerned that Kitty may draw unwanted attention to herself if she isn’t careful. 

12- Kitty’s gold magic

Kitty is by no means a violent person, and she does not look particularly threatening either. However, over the years she has figured out and honed her magic pretty well, and if she ever needed to defend herself from an attacker, she’s far from completely helpless. Gold, being a heavy but soft metal, is not the best metal to make stabby things with, but because she can mix in an alloy of other metals, she can harden her gold up enough where she could make a good jabbin’ spike. She is better at simply forming big chunks of heavy gold and battering foes with it, because she can lift her gold with a good deal of ease even if she couldn’t lift another object of the same weight. One of her more nasty offensive moves would be related to her magic also being able to manipulate molten gold. She can spew large amounts of the hot melted material from her mouth, and will willingly projectile vomit on someone she deems as being too much of a threat. She will “clean up” after herself and cause gold to break down and poof into dust, which could be needed if she had to hide any evidence of her having been somewhere. She doesn’t typically wear footwear, since keeping metal on her feet acts as a makeshift shoe via being harder than skin. 

Kitty’s hands, feet, mouth, and insides can heat up. She is more temperature resistant than an unprotected average human, but extreme temperatures aside from her own can pose a threat to her without much trouble. She has a fear of lightning and electricity, because she is naturally a strong conductor. 

[soul-music-is-life]

I'm kind of with you on the lackluster Pilot episode of "The Perfectionists". I don't know whether or not I'm into it either. And not because of Emison (I'm more of an Emaya fan myself). I just thought it was cheesy and boring. I don't know if I should keep watching. What about you?

I have actually gotten several asks about whether I plan tokeep watching and why/why not. So I’m going to answer it here and just referback to it if it keeps coming up.

I don’t mind the asks at all. I love conversing, but because of the volume of asks about thisparticular opinion this is another long driveling post, and I’m sorry. You can mute my ass if you’re sick of me. I get it.

First of all OP, thank you for not ripping into me about notliking it. Also, Emaya had my heart. I loved them, too. Maya deserved better.

Second, this is a full-scale look at the show from a critic’svantage point. I watched the first episode twice because I thought maybe I hadn’tgiven it a fair shake the first time because I was in a weird mood. But even onthe second viewing I found a lot more that I disliked than I liked. Lots ofpeople are going to disagree, and that’s fine. Just don’t @ me. I’m legit notlooking for that. I’m just a girl (cue NottingHill music) standing in front her ask inbox asking those askers to love her.

Will I keep watching? I doubt it. Given that it only got a10-episode order and The Pilot wasn’t that interesting to me, I don’t see myselfsitting through it for 9 more episodes. My reasoning is two-tiered. Part of itis disinterest and the other part is the creative aspect of it in the media. Saddleup for my “truths” (I can’t remember who said that. Marlene maybe). I gave it afew days and considered it, and what I ended up with was this:

1) I’m just not into it. For the same reasons you (OP) stated.But I’ll also add that for me…it was predictable. I called the twists longbefore they happened. If I’m already doing that in The Pilot I can guarantee I’dbe doing that as the show went on. I’m like 93% sure I know exactly how it’sgoing to end this season. I tend to do that to myself. Being a writer suckssometimes. Because you see the way things are going to go from the beginning. You just have to decide if you want to go on the journey anyway.

2) While the characters were likable (I was surprised by howmuch I liked Ava), they are a bit one-sided and kind of bland (except I foundNolan’s duality extremely intriguing). There is the argument that can be madehere that they will grow, and I do agree with that. But when I watch a show’sPilot I need to care about at least one character to see what’s going to happenand where they are going to go (In PLL it was Em/Aria for me). None of the characters in TP did that for me (noteven Mona and Alison, which surprised me, because I’ve been super-hype for thisshow not only for them, but for the newbies, too).  

3) The plot (so far) just feels like a rehash of everysingle YA mystery novel/TV show that is hot right now. And I am aware that thisis based loosely on exactly that (Sara’s series), but I think maybe I’ve justbecome desensitized to the same cheesy soap-opera-y murder mystery plots. Or perhaps I’m just desensitized to this particular kind of storytelling. It doesn’tfeel new and different to me and it was very strangely paced with too muchgoing on and not enough time to care about it. It just felt disjointed. Everythingabout the first episode just fell flat for me.

4) And lastly, yes, I’d say there is a tiny part of me…likemaybe…6% that doesn’t want to watch because I’m not about that off-screenEmison drama. I knew it was going to happen and I’m not mad about them beingsplit. I’m disappointed (hears “that’sjust ‘mom speak’ for mad!” echoing somewhere) that the marketing team isusing it for ratings. When you have decent writing you don’t need to play games like that to try andget viewers. It would be one thing to be decisive about what happened toEmily/Alison (Split them. Don’t split them. I don’t care. Just make a fuckingdecision because you’re creating a war between fans and you know it). It’sanother thing entirely to draw it out because you need people to watch and talkabout it.

I am also particularly bothered by hearing the excuse (several times by MK) that “Shay was busy”because Marlene literally planned the spin-off in season 6 (confirmed by bothher and Sasha). It. Was. Planned. I say this as a critic and not an Emison fan: Everything about the way they’ve tried to use Emison to generate buzz was underhanded. And saying shit like that opens the door for people to hate on Shay, and that’s really not cool.

Personally, I think it speaks volumes that the producers felt the need to addthe off-screen drama on top of the really decent plot they already had. Theycould have kept it unproblematic with simple writing choices and less inflammatorycommentary. They could have left the PLL drama in the PLL-verse and given thespotlight to the new drama. I don’tagree with creating old off-screen drama with zero chance of satisfactoryresolution all in the name of ratings. I hate marketing shit like that. It’s acheap amateur tactic and it turns me off.

I think the show could have been something special had theynot marketed it as PLL. But they did, so of course there was a certainexpectation. And of course there is some backlash. Because there are these twoworlds that have nothing to do with each other and so far I don’t feel likethey’ve blended it together well. For me, it was like watching PLL, but with less magic and less chemistry. If I had to describe it I’d say it feels alot like a recipe where you’re just throwing a bunch of ingredients into a bowlwith no idea what you’re making and you’re just hoping it’ll be edible by theend. Rather than focusing on the new universe the marketing team chose to focuson Ali/Mona’s new world and the drama that comes with them. And to me that almost says they don’t have faith that TPwould have been able to stand on its own without the PLL universe. Part of methinks I’d be more interested if this had been a completely fresh start. I wasactually more compelled by the newbies than I was Alison/Mona (though I adorethem, too).

That being said, I really wish the best for the cast/crew. I’llcontinue to watch the behind the scenes games/cast antics. I’ve been a fan ofSasha since I discovered PLL (everything about her seems very sweet and genuine andjust positive all around). And Janel as Mona was one of my favorite castingchoices of all time. In fact, I think my very first PLL post here was praisefor Janel. I’ve been following Sydney since she was a smol lil bean on theDisney Channel (and loved her in Tia’s Mowry’s show “Instant Mom”). Sofia seemslike a sweet girl, and I have enjoyed her other work. And Eli honestly justseems like he’d be a cool dude to kick back and have a drink with (is he evenold enough to drink? Jesus, they’re all babies). I love them all. In fact, I’veenjoyed the fun behind the scenes stuff more than I enjoyed the show. I’dwatch a reality show of them all day. That’s where I’ll get my fill. Watching them being goofy.

Final verdict: No, the show will not be getting my views. I’llprobably just watch the absurdity of Riverdale instead. Cheryl is fucking wild,y’all. And I’m kind of living for mean-dark-snarky Betty. And Sweet Pea is like…myfavorite character ever. My dumb asshole child.

As far as whether or not youshould watch it, I have no idea. I have a lot of people asking me my opinion onthat (which, I’m like the worstperson to ask, please don’t give me that responsibility. I don’t even likebeing responsible in the real world. I literally had a cookie and Cocoa Puffsfor dinner). I will say that if you’re only watching for Emison then I’d changethe channel. Because guaranteed it’s just going to make you rage. You’re not going to get anything out of it. Fill yourevenings with something more pleasant and positive for you.

And be nice to others on social media. At the end of the day, it’s only a show. You like it or you don’t.

[hoodieimp]

My initial reactions + thoughts on Chapter 5 ((SPOILERS AHOY!))

waking up in Gay Animator Jail, we're off to a great start

well fuck you too Tom

The Lens of Truth Seeing Tool mechanic is really neat! My only gripe is that it doesn’t get a ton of use in the chapter it was introduced in?

“you draw beautifully" aww thanks

Allison’s wall doodles are my favorite (“WASH THE DISHES”, the little Searchers going “boo!” at each other, HER AND TOM HOLDING HANDS W A LITTLE HEART OVER THEIR HEADS AAA)

They have an aquarium?? With sepia toned cartoon fish??? I love it

Please tell me there's a way to pick up that axe somehow

THAT GIANT HAND LEGITIMATELY TERRIFIES ME

How did they get those fairy lights up in the tunnels anyway

(have I mentioned how much I absolutely adore the environments in this game? The Lost One’s little town…outpost…thing is cool as hell and I literally spent ten minutes wandering around & exploring)

SAMMY?!?!???!!?!????

WHOAWHOAWHOA SETTLE DOWN THERE PAL WATCH WHERE YOU’RE SWINGIN THAT–aw fuck I died

oh my god the battle music even incorporates all of the instruments from his sanctuary puzzle in Chapter 2

*AGGRESSIVE BANJO STRUMMING*

That distorted voice caught me even more off guard...I wasn't even sure whether it was still Aaron Landon voicing him lmao

how many times is Henry gonna watch someone get killed in front of him

Man this game is really not designed for combat, it's impossible to judge where you're being attacked from with all the music n sfx jesus christ

I KNEW WE WEREN’T GONNA MAKE IT TO THE END OF THAT HALLWAY (also rip Henry’s ankles)

That smooth jazz is some of my favorite music so far

Quick question: whose idea was it to have the Administration offices 500 miles underground in a giant freaking cave??? (Unless maybe it started out attached to the building but the earth caved in from all the excavations they were doing and that whole section sank underground..or something)

Aw tits it’s another stealth mission

My bois are back and they’re as stupid as ever!!

(Seriously Edgar kept walking into the same closed door for five minutes straight in Morgan and I’s first playthrough)

Joey you egotistical prick

oh god S u s i e

is this game making fun of itself for all the fetch quests it puts you through (also holy fuck remind me to never piss Tom off)

I’m 900% convinced that the big plush chair Inky uses for a throne was taken from Joey’s office, considering that that's the one detail missing when you enter it earlier on

TIMETHEHOBO ACTUALLY ANIMATED LITTLE CARTOON SNIPPETS BASED ON THE FAN POSTERS I’M SO HAPPY

Joey you had better not pull a fucking Bertrum on me I swear to God

OH HEL-LO THERE INKY

OH MY GOD IT'S FUCKHANDS MCMIKE

(Seriously I could NOT stop laughing at Beast Bendy's design it's so goofy looking and unscary)

what the funk is this boss fight

does this even count as a fight?? 

I feel like Wile E Coyote getting his ass mowed down by the Roadrunner over and over

Oh wait it’s over already?? That was fast

(I do like how showing Bendy the endcard of his own cartoon is what finally defeats him; after all, what better way to fight back against a toon demon than to use toon logic?)

So what happens now--holy fuck colors

I love all the little details in Joey’s house???

Wally actually got outta there! and is happily retired in Florida with a wife(?) n grandkids!! God bless!!!

Allison & Thomas got together…can’t say I was expecting that but Nice

Oh shit we actually get to meet Joey face to face

Don’t you quote your own letters at me old man, what’re you planning–

wait what

whAT

WHAT THE FUCK

W H A T  T H E  F U C K

ok at least these credits are really cool and the music is killer

Ohjesus Sammy’s face reveal actually made me jump

…wait there’s more?

is that the fuckin Mk 1 Ink Machine???

“UNCLE JOEY”?????????

oh shit Henry finally gets a canon last name nice

k but seriously WHAT THE FUCK

[fapangel]

foxtrotalpha jalopnik com/-1544383008 But why?

… not sure, actually. The theory presented in that article (which I’ve seen before) as to the F-117 being used as a benchmark aircraft for testing new anti-stealth/counter-stealth radars confuses for one reason - the F-117′s stealth is based on a rather different concept than the stealth in use on all subsequent aircraft. The F-117 was based on the Have Blue program, whereas the B-2 Spirit, and every aircraft that followed (including the F-22 and the F-35,) have utilized the designs pioneered by the Tacit Blue program. You can easily see the big difference between the designs - whereas Have Blue had those funky angles all over to redirect and scatter incoming radar energy, Tacit Blue accomplished much the same, but with shapes that were a hell of a lot easier to make aerodynamic. Hence why the F-22 and F-35 now use that design - they allow for a great deal of stealth without steeply compromising flight performance. An anon has asked me to do a rundown of stealth tech and I intend to, so that’s all for another post, but suffice to say that with the Chinese stealing a goodly chunk of F-35 related research - enough that their J-20 stealth fighter clearly shows the inheritance in its lines - and the Russian PAK-FA clearly taking the same approach - it begs the question of just how much value the F-117 would have as a testbed aircraft for modern radars.  I don’t know nearly enough about the relevant engineering to say for sure - perhaps Tacit Blue really does just accomplish the same scattering of radio waves with smooth curves rather than sharp angles, and that’s it - but somehow I doubt it’s that simple. 

To wit, Tacit Blue is - from everything I’ve seen and read - truly a different technological approach to the challenges of reducing radar cross-section, compared to the Have Blue method. (This fascinating article on the origins of the RQ-170 covers this pretty well -  in addition to the much better aerodynamic performance, the article notes that Tacit Blue’s “curvilinear” design is far better for “all-aspect” stealth; i.e. it reduces RCS against radio waves hitting the plane from almost any angle.) Again, I might be wrong on this, but I’m pretty sure that has consequences past just “smaller effective RCS.” Radars - and computer algorithms both controlling their beam-forming and analyzing the received data - would be carefully designed to account for just how radio energy is scattered off an aircraft. This’d be especially important when you take radar networks into account, for instance, radar A could pick up radio waves bouncing off the stealth aircraft at a 45 degree angle, because they were actually emitted by radar B, forty to sixty miles away from radar A. Again, I’m no physicist and I might be completely wrong here, but just looking at these aircraft, I’d expect the Tacit Blue “curvilinear” approach to scatter the radio waves less discretely. Imagine taking a high-pressure fire hose and blasting an F-117s skin with it, and then a B-2. Before you were ripped limb from limb by screaming, weeping ground crew, you’d notice the water stream hitting the flat angles of the F-117 tended to deflect in a more coherent stream, but the constantly-curving surface of the B-2 would diffuse the deflected water more evenly. Now swap the water hose analogy for radio waves, and you can get an idea of what I’m saying. That’s why curvilinear is better for “all-aspect,” I think - because those angled facets on the F-117 deflect that energy somewhere, and if you happen to have a shit-hot radar set and you’re in the right place when that plane makes a turn, you’ll notice that smaller beam of energy as it crosses your dish - if your radar’s software is coded to recognize that kind of signal and pick it out from the background noise. Radars pick up everything, and the software - and the operators - have to make a lot of judgement calls on what is a legitimate contact and what needs to be ignored. A ton of what radars do rely on this - for instance, look-down/shoot-down ability requires a radar to ignore the radio waves bouncing off the ground itself (congratulations, you found the planet,) and focus on stuff with a high Doppler shift; i.e. those radar returns that are clearly moving at a few hundred knots. So it seems unlikely to me that they’d find the F-117s of much value as a theoretical “stealth aggressor” aircraft for testing next-gen radars - unless they’re simply testing stuff from a head-on detection standpoint against single radars, and the F-117s extensively-studied RCS characteristics make for a useful standpoint. It’s possible… but as another FoxtrotAlpha article notes, the rarely-espied playdates between B-2 Spirits and a highly-advanced radar aircraft stationed at Tonopah with the F-117s is much more likely to be advanced radar/stealth testing.

The other possibility suggested by the article - that they’re being used for Red Flag aerial exercises (where the highly directional nature of their stealth would be of less import, being pitted against modern fighter aircraft radars at closer ranges,) seems more likely to me - and their further assertion that said program is just an excuse to retain airframes, personnel and experience for more direct uses of the airframes seems very plausible. For starters, the Air Force has already directly confirmed that the F-117 fleet is being maintained for possible return to service. But what kind of service? 

Now it’s no secret that the ChairFarce keeps a massive boneyard of mothballed aircraft in Arizona just in case we get into another serious shooting war where quantity gains a quality all its own - in fact, a B-52 kept in that same “Type 1000″ storage as the F-117s was recently returned to service. As that article notes, even in “near-flyaway condition,” restoring a military aircraft isn’t easy. My neighbor, a mechanic by trade, once told me that old cars are like old men - they retire, they sit down in an armchair, and they die. When something full of moving mechanical parts sits still, it degrades - seals stiffen, gaskets dry out, lubricants stagnate, parts stick, etc. And then it all has to be replaced. So the USAF rotating their Nighthawks out to take walkies every now and then make perfect sense. 

But I still doubt that the F-117 will be sent into combat - at least, with pilots aboard. This National Interest article (yes, I know) does a fairly succinct job of comparing the F-117 to the F-22 and F-35. The F-22 and F-35 benefit from tremendous advances in computer, sensor and software tech that make them much better at steering around radars - the computers can quickly re-calculate the probability of detection in X airspace against Y detected radar signature, and quickly re-route the pilot to keep him out of “red zones.” (Gathering the empirical data used for this is exactly why the B-2 and that nifty super-secret radar plane would be playing tag over the Arizona desert.) Combined with the all-aspect stealth of the curvilinear design (which lets you turn - i.e. alter course - much more freely without flashing some radar your skirts) this gives the F-35 a big advantage. In other words, the F-117s design isn’t just compromised after the Serbian shoot-down… it’s also obsolete. 

In other words, it’s expendable. 

“Expendable” isn’t a word used lightly with any combat aircraft, much less a hideously expensive stealth aircraft covered with sensitive and temperamental RAM coatings that need to be carefully swaddled in environmentally-controlled hangars. The dated stealth characteristics, low performance and above all, the significant superiority of more modern stealth fighters are all fine reasons against risking pilot’s lives flying the F-117 against a near-peer opponent like China or Russia. 

But those exact same reasons - especially the compromised and obsolete nature of the tech - mean that if you remove the pilot from the equation, you stand to lose little if an F-117 is shot down. You’re not losing a modern aircraft that can penetrate modern air-defense systems, you’re not losing highly-classified tech that will fall into enemy hands, and it’s one less quirky, expensive aircraft thirty years old and falling further behind the curve (literally) every year. Moreover, the F-117 is still well-optimized for stealth against high-frequency fire-control radars from the frontal aspect. In other words, it’s still a much better option for attacking a SAM site than an F-16, F-18 or F-15E (unless you’re going for BALLS TO THE WALL CLUSTER BOMBS IN FREE FALL HEY IT’S WILD WEASELS Y’ALL which was never sane or safe against farmers with hand-trained eyeball-aimed AA guns, much less modern SHORAD.) And then there’s the numbers - we only have 20 B-2s, which is why they’re jealously guarded, not enough F-22 Raptors and the F-35 won’t be serving in high numbers for many years yet. Moreover, the F-22 has limited payload options - despite some amazing things being accomplished with the Small Diameter Bomb program, it’s still a small bomb. Until the F-35 shows up in force, there’s a shortage of aircraft that can sling big, heavy Mk-84 based PGMs and bunker busters - and lo-observable standoff attack weapons like the JASSM and SLAM-ER, while fantastic, are expensive, and even our copious stockpiles must be judiciously used…. and their standoff reach greatly increases the utility of old aircraft like the F-117, since instead of being tasked with “penetrate airspace pumped with so much radio energy it practically glows without being detected” it’ll be asked to “get within 100 miles of this border without being detected and drawing sixty fucking Flankers down on you, so we don’t have to assign half our escort fighters to hold your hand.” 

“The F-117 is being turned into a drone guies!!1!” has been a meme/rumor for a while now, I know - but there’s a few good reasons to think it has merit. For starters, you don’t just slap a computer into the pilots seat and hey presto, drone! It’s difficult, time-consuming and fucking expensive to re-wire electronics, especially purpose-built fly-by-wire systems dating from the pre-COTS era… but they’ve already done it with the F-16, and I’ve both seen mention of F-18s turned into drones, and seen that the government replacement program for the F-18 has called for “manned, unmanned, and optionally manned platforms.” The AIr Force has openly stated they want autonomous fighter jets  - not just Global Hawks flying circles in permissive airspace, mind you, but autonomous fighter jets - to work in concert with the F-35. And I quote: 

“You take an F-16 and make it totally unmanned,” Work said. “The F-16 is a fourth-generation fighter, and pair it with an F-35, a fifth-generation battle network node, and have those two operating together.”

Battle network node. That’s not just a buzzphrase, that’s an indicator of how they hope to translate that massive information advantage into a force advantage. The F-16 fleet is really showing its age (as are our original F-18s) and even if we bought brand new souped-up conformal-tank hauling F-16 Block-Eleventy-Billions, the old aircraft are plain worn out. Traditionally we take old fighter planes and convert them into radio-controlled target drones till they’re all blown up, which is where all our F-4 Phantoms went. As long as we’re blowing them up anyway… this isn’t the first time someone realized that something built to be difficult for our own pilots to hit might be difficult for the enemy to hit, as well. But these aren’t purpose-built wee target drones that can only carry cameras - they’re fully-functional warplanes that can carry almost any modern munition you want to put on them. Even if the enemy shoots them all down, you’re only out aircraft destined for the scrapyard anyway - and they still have to deal with the goddamned F-35!

The Navy seems to agree with this approach - they’re already practicing integrating their new XB-47 carrier-capable drone into flight ops by having it land on aircraft carriers alongside manned aircraft. The Navy has also invested heavily in the “swarm” concept. First seen with their little pushy robo-RIGs meant to drive off Dinghies of Peace getting too cozy, they’re now applying it aggressively to aerial applications, like the much-publicized swarm of minidrones launched out of an F-18s flare dispensers. Swarms like this serve two purposes - one, they are much harder to kill (quite literally swatting flies one by one, if you can even see them,) and two, the software required for a “swarm” to work is by nature a “decentralized network,” which means it’s much more capable of thinking - and reacting - without centralized command and control. This means that “swarm” style logic - which is all about communicating with the fellow swarmers and making decisions for itself, and in accord with The Swarm - is inherently quite capable even if their communications are jammed. Even if it can’t phone home for instructions, The Swarm is fairly autonomous, by its very nature. The Swarm provides each member with sensor input from all platforms, “brain”power from each member, and if one gets swatted, they still have the rest of The Swarm. In fact, the military is now focusing on ensuring each node of The Swarm can operate independently of even its fellows if the jamming is so heavy they can’t even talk with one another, as they openly stated recently: 

One thrust will be equipping drones and other autonomous systems with bigger brains and better networking so that they can function even when an enemy jams their ability to radio back to a human controller for direction… "When you don’t have bandwidth, when you’re under cyber attack, when you’re being jammed. That’s the problem we’re trying to address.”

That’s Cool Planefag, but what does this have to do with F-117s? 

This big thrust towards distributed drone networks - using older, even obsolete manned aircraft as reworked drones - applies specifically to the F-117′s case because the driving impetus behind these efforts has a lot to do with our old friend: 

Triumf-chan is just the latest evolution in the constant battle between ground-based anti-air and air-based long-range strike that began in earnest in WWII and has never let up. On the left, we have the reigning champion, the rich-as-hell Free World who need to project tons of FREEDOM into the bitch faces of the dictator of the week. On the right, the challenger, who’s lost every round so far but has made the champions victories horrifically costly anyways and has driven the champion to the ropes so many times he can taste that maddeningly elusive victory. It’s an arms race that hit the ground running in 1945 and hasn’t slowed since… 

… and the Reigning Champion’s current efforts in that direction are turning more and more to unmanned weapons. There’s of course the plethora of standoff weapons, that began with the Shrike in Vietnam and is now evolving into crazy shit like radar-frying Masers mounted on cruise missiles.… but the most interesting thing, to me, is that they’re mirroring the Navy’s effort to, ah, distribute lethality by presenting the enemy with more threats - for instance, the MALD-J standoff jamming drone, already an amazing anti-IADS weapon, is being upgraded with an optional home-on-jam kamikaze attack. Since they’re expendable drones, they’re not coming back anyway, so they may as well finish the day by executing steep dives into some Triumf operator’s bitch face. This is being enabled by the addition of a datalink which lets them - stop me if you’ve heard this before - be tied into the combat network the rest of our aircraft and weapons use. This would also let them work in concert with their fellows to coordinate jamming and terminal attacks even if their communications back to base were disrupted by any means - jamming, “cyber attacks” or a whirlwind MILSTARS-meets-killsat romance. Now the enemy can’t simply dismiss them once they figure out they’re flying a pre-mapped path that’s not responding to pop-up threats - not only do they move, but they might fucking come after you. Or… they could release a swarm of those nasty little mini-drones that navy F-18 dropped - think of them as affectionate, self-aware sub-munitions. Or don’t - I’m sure the Russians stay up at night thinking about them enough for all of us.

This is an example of the ultimate ends all this network-swarm-drone shit is being aimed at - saturating, flummoxing and defeating the modern Integrated Air Defense Network. Now when you consider the obvious utility of using older, worn-out 4th generation fighters as pawns in this game - pawns you can afford to lose, but usually come back after a mission, unlike million-dollar-a-shot missiles - and apply it to the F-117, which actually has an RCS smaller than a freight-train flying broadside, and you can start to see the real potential here. If an aging multi-role fighter makes a good drone gunman, than an aging stealth bomber makes an even better one. The F-117 can get closer to SAMs than 4th gens of similar age, the drastically improved communications and battle management nodes make it possible to very quickly and cohesively react as a team to developing situations and threats, allowing them to cover their weaknesses, and as an obsolete, unmanned platform they can be risked further forward than much more expensive and valuable modern, manned fighters, or even very expensive unmanned platforms. 

So that’s Planefags Rambling Explanation of Shit Everyone Knows Anyway If They Read Defense Blogs Instead Of Dating. For those looking for the tl;dr: the F-117 is basically the Terminator. 

“The F-16 series had aluminum skin. We spotted them easy, but these are new. They look like interference… radar ghosts, diffused returns, everything. Very hard to spot. I had to wait till he opened his bomb-bay doors before I could zero him.” – Kyle Radoslav

“The Nighthawk’s an infiltration unit - part manned aircraft, part autonomous machine. Underneath, it’s a titanium-alloy combat airframe, microprocessor-controlled. Triple-redundant, very tough. But outside it’s faceted aluminum: RAM coated ,designed for the stealth bombers.”   – Kyle Radoslav 

All right. You stay down by day, but at night, you can move around. The F-16s use FLIR so you still have to watch out. But they’re not too bright. Dani taught us ways to dust them. That’s when the infiltrators started to appear. The Nighthawks were the newest and the worst…– Kyle Radoslav

“You’re spiked, motherfucker!” – Sara Cveta

Hey buddy, did you just see a real bright light? – KC-135 pilot over Bosnia

“These were taken by a SA-6′s TV camera in Belgrade, in 1999. It killed sixteen TV techs that night. Men with families, children.”

[the cop lays two new pictures on the table.]

“These were taken near the Macedonian border… today.” 

“I’LL BE BACK.” – Nighthawk

[operationrainfall]

Title Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes Developer Grasshopper Manufacture Inc. Publisher Grasshopper Manufacture Inc. Release Date January 18th, 2019 Genre Action Platform Nintendo Switch Age Rating M for Mature 17+ – Blood, Drug Reference, Partial Nudity, Strong Language, Violence Official Website

Let me clarify something really quick. Travis Strikes Again is NOT No More Heroes 3. That was my initial assumption, and it’s important that those of you reading this understand the difference. See, Travis Strikes Again is a gaiden game, and that shows in many ways. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still very much No More Heroes, and is pungent with that insane musk the series is known for. Suda51 has crafted an entry that often defies expectations and regularly defies logic. But in some ways, it’s very much the first of its kind. The question then, is if that’s a good thing? And more importantly, does Travis Strikes Again make up for the nine-year hiatus since the Wii?

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Travis Strikes Again starts with an epic cutscene that I’m sure most of you have already seen. Badman, the father of the murderous, bat-wielding Bad Girl, wants revenge on Travis for her death. He hunts him down, and finds Travis roughing it in his outdoor trailer. Banter is exchanged, winks are made at the audience, and then things get especially weird. Apparently, at some point Travis found a nigh impossible to locate game console called the Death Drive Mk II. Think the Virtual Boy combined with VR and you’re on the right track. Somehow the game machine suddenly comes to life and sucks both Travis and his assailant into a strange game world, and thus begins our story.

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In the first world, Electric Thunder Tiger II, Travis quickly finds out that the Death Drive games are all full of dangerous bugs, who are all out to kill you. The system itself was created by an ahead of her time genius, Dr. Juvenile. Not only does her system draw in the players, but there’s also a myth about the game cartridges, called Death Balls. By collecting six of them, the owner can have their dearest wish granted. If that sounds familiar, then just wait, cause Travis Strikes Again has a shit ton of references to popular culture, from anime to other video games and much more.

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While I was drawn in quickly by the opening sequence, once you beat the first world the plot meanders unexpectedly. Badman was initially hellbent on murdering Travis, but after they both come out of the game, it seems things have changed. The game doesn’t really address this change of heart, mind you, and you’ll see Badman wandering the trailer between stages. Though his presence does serve a functional purpose for co-op, his sudden lack of menace really hurts the urgency of the story. It wasn’t clear to me what exactly was happening, and it isn’t til much later that it seems apparent Travis and Badman are suddenly working together. It’s possible I missed something in the copious amount of dialogue in the game, but if not this sudden shift was puzzling. Thankfully, while the story in no way is actually about Travis vs Badman, the other tangents it goes on are pretty interesting by themselves.

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Each of the Death Ball titles is a reference to popular culture’s past. For example, Life is Destroy starts off with a bloody sequence that made me instantly think of Night Trap. Another, Golden Dragon GP, has vector graphics that strongly reminded me of Tron. They all have their own vibe, and that goes double for the epic Archive material about them. These materials are a nod to old Nintendo Power style magazine coverage, and feature commentary, art and even secrets that you can check out in each level. I was frankly stunned by how much work went into making a bunch of flavor text that the majority of gamers won’t even bother reading, though I’d say those gamers are missing out. The essential flavor of this game is one that embraces and parodies the video game phenomenon. I loved all the little nods to classics, both obvious and more esoteric.

My only real complaint is that the stages themselves don’t start offering really standout features until later in the game, about four stages in. Keeping in mind there are only six stages in the game, that was a bit of a letdown. Mostly because without unique aspects like Golden Dragon GP’s racing, stages mostly break down to ‘fight all the enemies, kill the boss, rinse and repeat.’ I guess part of my issue with the relative monotony of the experience is I have fond memories of the NES-styled minigames from No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle. The amount of diversity in those was really great, and though they could get frustrating, I enjoyed their inclusion. Which brings us to the combat in Travis Strikes Again, and how different it feels from the rest of the series. Note that I didn’t say worse, but it is worth covering how significant a departure it is from the first two games.

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More Travis on Page 2 ->

While the first No More Heroes games were action adventure games more in the vein of Bayonetta or Devil May Cry, it would be easier to compare Travis Strikes Again to Gauntlet. You’ll wander forward, get gated in areas with enemies, and need to kill them to proceed. Don’t get me wrong, there are still recognizable features like how Travis “charges” his Beam Katana and flashy super attacks, but in every other way they are something different. For one thing, you have zero control over the camera now, and Suda likes to move it around to display the action in unique ways. Some stages will have a top-down view, others you’ll be able to see a more open area, and some function like 2D platformers. Another stark departure? There are no wrestling moves (well, almost), no blocking and no QTEs during regular combat.

Things have been stripped down in many ways, though perhaps not bad ones. Yes, I had fond nostalgic memories of the combat in the first games, but after watching them again, I realized something: there was a lot of unnecessary and frustrating elements to the combat before. I don’t miss playing around with the camera, I don’t miss blocking tons of attacks and I don’t miss the QTEs, but I do still wish there was a bit more nuance to combat here. You have a weak attack you can literally swing rapidly in succession, a heavy attack, jumping attacks, a dodge and that’s pretty much it. Beyond that, there is a feature where you fill up your katana charge meter and, when full, can unleash a massively powerful series of attacks, as well as skills. Skills are totally new to the series. As you progress, you’ll unlock skill chips, and can equip up to four to any of the directional buttons. By holding L and pressing a directional input, you’ll unleash the skill. There’s a wide range, from lightning blasts that stun foes to bombs that detonate after a set amount of time to a healing field and much, much more. Each of them has a cooldown until you can use them again, so it behooves you to use them sparingly and carefully.

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Point being, it probably doesn’t sound much like a No More Heroes game right now. And that’s both good and bad. While I did grow to enjoy the combat, it tends to get a little monotonous, at least for fighting regular enemies. The variety comes from the enemy diversity (there are a lot of different types) and playing around with your skill loadout. Another unique aspect is that Travis gains EXP and can use it to level up. Sadly, all that does is increase his ATK and HP. I really would have loved a skill tree or something similar. I also miss learning optional techniques in the first games. But having said that, there is one area where Travis Strikes Again truly feels like a Suda51 game: the epic boss fights. Though there are only six total, they each are dripping with style and creativity. From a teleporting serial killer to a old man in a wooden mech suit to a supernatural skeletal avenger, you won’t get bored with any of them. Best of all, they all battle very differently, which requires you to fight smart, pay attention to attack patterns and not rush in blindly. I tried hack-and-slash a couple times, and was always met with painful failure. While it goes double for the boss fights, all these tactics are also important for regular combat.

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You’d think this review was almost done, having covered the plot, style and combat, but there’s another area that I need to spend more time: the references. Earlier I talked about some of the popular culture nods, but I doubt you understand the extent of them yet. One example? Practically all of the T-shirts Travis can buy in this game are from indie games. Even some that aren’t out yet, like Wargroove. I had a blast rocking out with Bit. Trip. Runner, Hollow Knight and Dandara shirts, but there’s so many more. Despite having beaten the game, I still need more cash to purchase all of them, as there’s 60+. But that’s not all. Another area where you see Suda’s love for gaming is in the text-based interludes between stages. No, you didn’t hear me wrong. There are many sections where Travis rides on his Schpeltiger with his kitty Jeanne and searches for more Death Balls. These segments are completely linear, but god are they entertaining. All sorts of crazy cameos abound, such as Travis searching in a Romanian Castle for a certain Count, to characters popping in from The Sliver Case and The 25th Ward, to even more I’m afraid to ruin. Best of all, during these sections Jeanne is magically able to talk, and she’s one sassy feline, even for a fat cat. One of my favorite nods is whenever you boot up a Death Ball, and the Death Drive logo sounds, reminding me of Sega’s old tune. Point being, if you love fourth wall breaking shennanigans and referential nods to pop culture, Travis Strikes Again is chock full of it.

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As for the aesthetic design, for the most part I love it. There’s a purposefully grungy, old school vibe to the way every stage is presented. While it may seem primitive, I suspect it’s a completely intentional move on Suda’s part. After all, the Death Drive Mk II is supposed to be an old, esoteric game system, so why wouldn’t the stages on it look like old games? Having said that, there’s a lot of beautiful art in the game. While the bosses are all full of color and chaos, the enemies are also varied and strange. Going with the “death” theme, each of the bugs has a skull face, and their bodies can be wildly different. Some are humanoid, others have tentacles and some are gargantuan hulking beasts. I also loved the variety of art used in the game introductions, as well as the green-hued art in the Travis Strikes Again text segments. The one area I felt that the art fell short, however, was how small the character models generally were. Often that was due to the camera placement, but when comparing it to the older games, it was really striking. Musically, the game is a wonder. Each stage has their own tunes, and the sound effects are perfect. Travis grunts, swears and yells as he fights, which does a great job of conveying his intensity. While there is a bit less profanity than in previous games, there’s also less voiced dialogue. While unfortunate, again it makes sense given the focus of the game taking place in a old game system. After all, most older games didn’t have voice acting. Overall though, the art and music come together beautifully to represent this strange game.

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Most of my 14 or so hours with Travis Strikes Again were positive, but there are some areas I feel it could have improved. A more minor complaint is the load times. Frankly, they are way too long, lasting upwards of more than a minute. Another complaint regards the combat. Though it’s pretty simple, there is real satisfaction to be had when you’re going for a high score, since doing so requires smart dodging to retain your katana charge. The problem is that a couple of factors work against you: the camera placement and enemy aggression. If you take too much damage, you’ll lose your charge level, and many times I would get hit by a projectile from off screen doing just that. Later in the game, they introduce some rather aggressive foes, including one that fires a barrage of bullets at you. That same enemy also likes to rush you, pushing you into the corner, and attack you frenetically to keep you from responding. This made it very hard to retain my full katana charge for extended periods, and of course the game grades you on exactly that.

A similar complaint is that your chip attacks can be interrupted by enemies, and then you have to wait for them to recharge. This was beyond irritating, especially when the game gets super frantic later on (and I played on Mild). Also, apparently some skills don’t work on some enemies. Once I tried using my standby Wing Chip at a foe, which fires a paralyzing bolt of electricity, only for it to be unaffected. It would seem some foes have elemental protection to certain attacks, but given there’s no bestiary, I was never clear on that. And while this last one isn’t about something Travis Strikes Again does wrong, it is about something shockingly absent from the game: the gratuitous violence. I remember blood gushing, beheadings and all sorts of mayhem in the first games, but that’s barely present. Again, that may be an intentional thematic choice by Suda, but if so it was a bit perplexing.

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In the end, I did enjoy Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes, but it felt like a placeholder until we get No More Heroes 3. It’s not all bad, and I did enjoy a lot of it, but when everything is coupled with a very perplexing ending, I wasn’t sure what to think. Thankfully, it’s pretty inexpensive at $29.99 for the digital version, and if you are a completionist, there’s a lot to do after you beat the game, such as finding secrets, buying T-shirts and getting better scores. I only managed to get one A in my time with the game, and many Cs and a couple Bs. If that wasn’t enough, a recent update added New Game+ and the Spicy difficulty, if you feel like a tough guy. And if you bought the physical version, you’ll be able to try out two DLC adventures in coming months (or pay for them individually digitally). Sure, the game didn’t go at all where I expected, and played rather differently from previous games, but it’s also a good reminder of the mad genius of Suda51. His capacity to constantly take risks and reinvent his games is impressive, even if it does occasionally provide mixed results. If nothing else, at least it seems likely we won’t have to wait too much longer for the next game…

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[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”3.5″]

Review Copy Purchased by Author

REVIEW: Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes Title Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes