#to clarify this is about nothing canon and nothing irl i’m just on the painful end of my own ideas
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You know, that would be ANGSTY COMICAL if we mixed that in the aftermath of the reveal of who is the real creator, since it could be taken as the creator REPLACING characters who hurt them.
-🥘Stew
that was the intent!
i think diluc would have it easiest. red is from a hateful part of his past, and he knows that he’s grown beyond that stage. if it weren’t for red’s temperament, he’d want to try and connect, if only to gain his trust. it still hurts, knowing that even after all this time he still failed to be what you needed, but it burns him the least.
fischl would be worse. night is everything she tried so badly to be, down to her own oz. to make it worse, night couldn’t care less about fischl, ignoring her monologues about who’s the real princess. the only one she needs the approval of is you, and she’d gotten that the second she was first summoned. she does fischl the mercy of letting her keep her name, but even that is mostly at your discretion. ‘fischl,’ ‘night,’ whatever. she just needs to protect you where amy failed.
and kaeya… my poor beloved. if night is what fischl wanted to be, shade is what kaeya has to be. night is a persona that fischl copied, shade is the very mask kaeya had put on for all his life. he’d entirely remade himself, down to the name he used and the way he treated his fellow knights, and it still wasn’t enough. all of his effort was poured into making himself something that could be accepted, that could be good enough. he’d thought he’d done a good job when he was first marked as a vessel, but now in the hunt it’s clear that his palatability only ran skin deep. shade is what you need, shade is what you want, and he’s genuine about it. shade’s entire life is yours, and he was rewarded for that devotion with your affection, earning a place at your side. and kaeya had devoted himself to the hunt instead, was so blinded by his own desires that he’d ignored the resistance of his vision. diluc may hate his past and fischl may hate night, but kaeya can only really hate himself.
#m1d : [chats]#m1d : [secrets]#stew🥘 anon#the shining nikki saga#the dark side of dawn#sailwind shadow#hello. i need a moment to be emotional about venti really quick sorry#hey siri put on my yearning playlist#fucking. destroyed. on the floor reminiscing about something that never happened.#me when i’m the victim of an idea of my own making#me when i’m the cause and the cure. me when ventis stuck in a problem that isn’t there. obliterated.#no words for this feeling rn. venti i’d like to formally apologize for the shit i’m about to put you through#‘it’s just a video game’ well your honor. it’s giving me shrimp emotions. so jot that down.#to clarify this is about nothing canon and nothing irl i’m just on the painful end of my own ideas#the author that writes the words and the reader that’s bound by them you know.#don’t worry if all goes well you’ll be inflicted with my pain too. provided i can pull it off.#pull it off as in convey it right not pull off the weight of it. i should shut up now.
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BoB liveblog ep 7
Episode 7: The Breaking Point. YEAH, OF MY FUCKING HEART
I HATE THIS EPISODE. I HATE IT WITH THE FIERY INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND BURNING SUNS.
00:00 I really don’t wanna do this you guys.
00:38 Can’t we just pretend this episode doesn’t exist?
01:22 OMFG I CAN’T ALL THE SWEET IRL MEN ARE CRYING NOOOO IT HURRRTS
04:05 RICH! Ok I feel a little better. Ahaha, he’s growing a beard. It’s got nothing on the quarantine beard he’s rocking nowadays tho
04:22 That whole scene is hilarious but I’m too distracted by Rich to appreciate it properly
05:18 Horsie
05:30 Hey Fassy
05:57 He’s so obsessed with the Luger, oh Hoob ☹
06:07 Ahhh that second where he looks into the camera and fires ☹ He’s so happy
06:31 IT’S SHIFTY MY ANGEL SON, MY ANGEL CHILD, LOOK AT HIIIIIMMMM!!!! MY BABY! I’M SO HAPPY! THIS IS THE ONLY GOOD PART OF THE EPISODE! HE’S SO HUMBLE AND PERF ILY SHIFTY
06:51 He is such a fucking angel, I swear. “What happened to the horse?” PETA would be pleased you care, baby.
07:01 Look at my son, look at his little angel face
07:27 Buck seems a little better??
07:47 Gold.
“Shut up boys.”
“Shutting up, Sarge.”
But notice my angel is perfectly well-behaved
08:00 “That was no rifle.” Shifty just Knows Things.
“What do you see, Shift?”
“Nobody out there.” HE’S JUST A BOSS SNIPER ANGEL ELF BABY OK
08:15 Oh Hoob
08:43 Oh God
09:03 ROE OMG NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES “Did you think it was a German leg, Hoob?” I MEAN LMAO BUT NO
09:33 Nooooooooooo
09:44 Oh God, the way Buck and Perco are cradling his face ☹
10:04 Husbands, do something, reincarnate him or something
10:32 Oh Dick is shivering aw
10:38 Lip, baby, no, do not cover for than incompetent POS
10:48 The husbands are unimpressed
11:39 Nice gloves tho Dike
11:57 “At present, as per usual, but I’ll clarify that with you at a later time.” No. No. He’s asking now. He needs to know now. Wtf.
12:39 IS THAT RICH??
13:12 RICH! BEARDED RICH!
13:23 I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU GUYS
13:26 Just gonna pause here a little while, excuse me
13:47 Lip is such a boss. We love you Lip
14:13 Bill’s laugh <3 RICH’S SMILE <333
14:48 Dick omg your flirting, so cute. They are in love.
15:20 Fassy is judging you… that means Alicia Vikander is coming for you…
15:50 Omg Nix knows his husband so well
16:24 Aw, Bill and Babe <3 BROTP
17:33 Bill, sweetie, no, I’m sorry but Buck is not fine!
17:58 Oh God the foreboding. Rich ☹ <3
18:01 WTF is Luz smoking LMAO
18:33 RIIIIICH
19:08 “Well, they had a point. You’re an idiot.” Oh Penk. I’ll miss you Penk.
19:31 UGH GTFO. To be fair the actor does a great job with this role.
20:01 Dike is so random. But it’s nice he’s taking an interest??
21:20 NIX LMAO
21:33 Ugh, Dick. Stop. I know it’s to establish a sense of normalcy and ritual but Come. On. Buddy. Lol I love how Nix is just like LMAO NO I’M NOT GOING. I wish I could just say no when asked to do things by my bosses. We know it’s cos Nix can’t bear to be apart from his husband for so long <3
22:33 Guys, don’t be mean. Fassy, no, come on.
22:53 Wtf are Penk and Rich doing…
23:05 LMAO @ Dick and Sink.
“Got to keep the morale up for the folks back home.”
“Why?”
“Damned if I know.”
Iconic. Valid.
23:34 Lol my Joe/Charlie thought he was gonna get in trouble, but Dad just wanted to nag <3
24:24 Oh Bill <3 “Tied me own boots once last week, all by meself.” <3333 Bill please never change.
24:30 Rich <3333
24:36 Riiiiichhhhhh <3
24:48 Johhny ‘unimpressed’ Martin is already looking unimpressed, new kid, watch out, you’re not off to a great start.
24:56 Rich’s helmet still has bullet holes from the last episode, love the continuity <3
25:07 “You’ll find out, son.” Oh, Alley <3
25:17 Rich is hilarious in this scene, he’s having so much fun <3
25:22 Hey Lieb, I’ve missed you
25:46 Riichhh <3
25:53 OMFG that exchange!
“How are those nuts, sarge?”
“Doin fine, Bill, nice of you to ask.”
Wtf Lip!!
26:05 Bye, Fassy!
26:26 Even when he’s blurred by snow, Speirs is intimidatingly good-looking.
27:01 He’s so polite but so scary
27:23 You’re hot, Speirs, so I automatically trust you. Not sure what that says about me but it’s probably not good tbh
27:57 Joe/Charlie has been back five seconds and he’s already out for blood.
28:58 Hey Lee
30:00 Oh God
31:33 Oh no, Joe/Charlie, my baby ☹
33:39 Bill’s here, baby, it’s OK
34:10 I can’t deal with the hilarity of Babe blocked in by the tree while Joe/Charlie is in such a bad way and being done so dirty
34:56 Oh GOD
35:28 Bill </3
36:11 My thoughts exactly, Luz
36:42 Buck ☹
37:41 “Hey Joe, I told you I’d beat you back to the states.” Bill don’t me laugh while I’m crying. Aw, we’ll miss you <3
37:59 Not really the time but fuck it, I am totally digging Luz’s hair now
38:26 I’m so shook. I’ve watched this series a billion times but it still hurts me. Scene after scene, Joe/Charlie in pain, Buck screaming for a medic, God Neal and Kirk are so good.
39:18 Oh God, Buck
40:00 Rich I love you
40:44 Rich <3 ☹
41:22 Noooooooo </3
41:44 No. No. NO.
41:59 NO. NOPE. CANON NOT ACCEPTED. They’re fine. They’re fine, they’re just off-screen for the rest of the series, chillin with Hoob and Renee on like a nice beach somewhere. Drinking maitais and maragaritas and building sandcastles and shit.
44:00 Hit Malarkey the hardest? NO FUCKING WAY, LIP, HIT ME THE HARDEST, MORE LIKE! But in all seriousness, can you imagine losing your friends, not having a body to bury or time to grieve ugh ☹ </3 OK I concede that Malarkey and I can share the grief 50/50. No wait. 60/40. In favour of me.
45:15 Malark, it’s what Hoob would have wanted. I’d ask him but he’s busy sunbathing and keeping the drinks topped up
46:57 We love you Buck
47:14 Bull <3
47:43 Lieb <333
48:10 Hang on, sweetie, Dad isn’t back yet
48:50 It’s OK, Lip, sweetie, you can do it.
49:38 Lip, listen to me, your Dad’s going to fix everything in about ten, fifteen minutes. And he’ll get you a hot boyfriend in the process. It’s all going to be OK.
50:05 Dick, honey, Dike doesn’t understand a thing you’re saying
50:25 Dike’s like lol who the fuck was that guy?
51:17 Lieb is so blood-thirsty <3
51:23 DON’T STOP RUNNING, IDIOT. NEVER STOP RUNNING! THE REST OF US LEARNT THAT IN THE FIRST EPISODE! GOD!
51:40 WTF ARE YOU DOING, YOU FUCKING WASTE OF OXYGEN
52:09 Poor Lee
52:22 NO, FUCK, OMG
53:14 Don’t send my Lee alone!
53:33 Bull. A cigar. Right now? I like Johnny’s beard, suits him.
54:13 “THEY SHOT ME IN MY ASS, BOYS!” Aw Perco. Iconic.
54:36 Legit one of my fave scenes in the history of television. Dick is just so beside himself and desperate and helpless watching his sons stuck and in so much trouble. He’s in full Dad mode, about to run in there to save his boys. Then, and this is so subtle but it’s my fave bit, HE CUTS OFF SINK. HE IGNORES/SPEAKS OVER SINK. DICK! SPEAKS! OVER! SINK! IN WHAT UNIVERSE WOULD HE EVER DO THAT?! ON WHAT PLANET WOULD HE EVER BE SO DISRESPCTFUL?! THIS ONE, COS HIS SONS NEED HIM NOW AND BEING POLITE AND ADHERRING TO PRINCIPLE AND RANK DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER WHEN EASY IS IN TROUBLE! AND THEN HE CALLS UP OUR BOY SPEIRS. AND SPEIRS IS SO FUCKING GUNG-HO, BOUNCING ABOUT READY TO SLAUGHTER EVERYONE, SO FUCKIN EXCITED!!
And then there’s Nix, lmao, chillin with his binoculars, super relaxed as long as his husband stays safe, tbh.
55:06 Oh that was the new boy, aw
55:12 BOSS BAMF ICONIC WE STAN
55:20 Here you go, Lip, one BF courtesy of your Dad lol
55:48 Oh GOD I MISS RICH
56:24 LMFAO was that the haystack Dike was behind??
57:00 I.C.O.N.I.C.
57:23 “The astounding thing was, that after he hooked up with I company, he came back.” Annnnnd Lip’s in love.
57:49 Aw happy boys
58:09 Noooooo they’ve been through enough! I’VE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH THIS EPISODE OK, FUCK!
58:23 Go on, my angel son, you can do it.
58:36 Go, son. I love you.
58:43 Yes. Good boy.
59:26 Aw Bull piggybacking Perco <3
1:00:23 Oh yay! The church scene!
1:00:39 Look at my angel son <3
1:00:48 Hey Lieb
1:00:54 IT’S TAB! HEY TAB!
1:01:09 Babe <3 GRANT <3
1:01:29 Ahahaha Roe, I see you strategically placed yourself where you could stare at Babe 😉
1:01:59 Only 63 men left? Oh </3
1:02:00 Ahh Joe/Charlie <3 Bill <3 We love and miss you
1:02:20 RICH <333333 I LOVE YOU RICH <3333333 GOODBYE RICH <333333333333
1:02:39 Fuck Speirs is hot
1:02:53 The flirting <3 shooting looks at each other aw
1:03:09 Boys, stop checking each other out. You’re literally in a church full of nuns, go somewhere else to expend your sexual tension, jeez.
1:03:41 Flirting via talk of Roman soldiers, I dig it
1:04:28 Oh God, guys, this bit. Other than the propensity of my angel son, compared to usual, this is the only good part of the episode, I am here for the Speirton!
“You don’t have any idea who I’m talking about, do you?” HIS FACE IS SO SOFT
“No, Sir.” Lip, sweetie.
“Hell, it was you, first sergeant.”
Speirs’ is in love right back. And his continued flirting re battlefield commission GOD. The way he looks at Lip… you deserve the hottest guy in the whole show, Lip, proud of you sweetie.
1:06:48 Annnnnd everything fucking hurts.
To summarise, I am kinda appeased by the glorious glory that is Spierton. Rich and Penk and Hoob and Renee are FINE. THEY JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE OFF-SCREEN. IT’S FINE. I’M FINE ABOUT IT.
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SUF as a whole just left me with an empty feeling.
I feel you there, anon. In Dreams aside, I could take or leave the rest of this series (and in most cases, leaning well towards the latter sentiment).
But I guess that’s to be expected when 90% of SUF focused squarely on Steven’s PTSD and need for therapy and the many, many red flags shown as early on as the beginning that signaled his eventual breakdown to where he ended up in the climax.
Especially with the fanbase itself constantly screeching that Steven needs therapy, Steven has PTSD, Steven’s gonna corrupt, et cetera… like, it was all laid on far too thick. So when we got to Growing Pains, it really didn’t move me like it did so many others because it came off as such a “No shit, Sherlock” moment for me when Priyanka finally addressed the underlying issues the show itself really didn’t even bother trying to be subtle about.
Don’t get me wrong; a lot of people who have suffered (or are presently suffering) from the same problems as Steven irl have been helped a lot by these kinds of episodes, and I do appreciate that.
But from my personal standpoint, yeah… I knew from the start that Steven’s underlying issues alone were not gonna be enough to sustain a full series, and sure enough, it wasn’t. We got to see some bits here and there with the other characters, but we also had a few choice characters be really shitty people in season 5 that never got properly addressed before it concluded, and with the timeskip in SUF, all of that just got handwaved off as “dealt with offscreen”, which is the laziest BS ever.
And worst of all, at the end, they really didn’t stick the landing well at all. I’ll at least say SUF’s resolution wasn’t the mega levels of offensively terrible as Change Your Mind - but then again, it’s hard to out-do giving totalitarian space dictators with countless lives lost under their watch a fucking FACE-TURN out of nowhere.
Like, really, the Diamonds’ presence (White especially) in SUF actively made my viewing experience even worse towards the end. Yes, I should be glad they’re establishing that the Diamonds are at least starting to use their powers for good and rebuild some of the lives they ruined.
But, y’know… doesn’t change the fact that they’re all responsible for multiple counts of global genocide. Like, any living creatures native to their colony planets? They’re still fucking gone. And the Diamonds themselves just come off VERY unnatural as “nice” guys - and in many cases, they’re even creepier now than they were as villains. Good god, White’s blubbering in the climax was fucking insufferable, though.
Partially I think this comes from SU being a “kids show” so there’s this pressing need to end things as cleanly as possible. I’m more miffed that in the end, Steven still got pretty much everything he wanted.
They had some admittedly good set-ups to Steven’s growth, like having him accept that people grow up, change, and move on with their lives. We see the clear evidence that Steven’s got an unhealthy clinginess towards his human friends - and Connie’s no exception.
And considering they took the time to establish that:
Connie has friends other than Steven. She gets along with them just fine, so it’s not like she’s totally lonely or isolated without him.
Connie is ambitious with many goals and aspirations when it comes to her education and potential career paths. She’s shown to have put a lot of thought into her options and at no point comes off as feeling pressured by her parents or friends into this.
Connie knows she has to work hard and often to achieve her dreams, and despite that rigid lifestyle, it doesn’t seem to bother her in the least. That would imply she really wants to reach these goals she set for herself, whether or not Steven’s in the picture at all.
Connie and Steven’s dynamic is a far cry from how it was when they started out in the original series. You can tell Steven has no clue what Connie’s talking about when it comes to her goals and just plays along, pretending he understands anything coming out of her mouth.
Connie, despite what her speech would lead you to believe, has been every bit as insufferably dense as the gems in SUF when it comes to Steven’s issues. In Bismuth Casual, Steven’s very specifically-worded concerns were misconstrued as a fear of skating (or his inability to, whatever) - and in the end, they just became Stevonnie rather than properly talked things through. You know, something PERIDOT 100% did in the prior episode.
Connie is very firm about wanting to live her life as herself. She’s not against being Stevonnie from time to time, but like hell does she want to be Stevonnie for the long term.
Connie knows marrying in general at her age is a stupid-stupid-stupid idea, even if it is Steven. And considering her well-established commitment to her studies and reaching her lofty goals, Connie - at least at the time - seemed to know a relationship with anyone just wasn’t in the cards for her at this point in her life. There’s no need to rush that shit, and she won’t compromise her life just to give her needy friend this thing he wants that he doesn’t even fully understand truly is.
Or, you know… just have Connie backpedal hard on a good chunk of that and date Steven so that he won’t become a monster again. I’m mostly kidding with that - but by kissing his monstrous self and that triggering his restoration, then soon later we see that even though Steven and Connie can only have a long-distance relationship at best, she’s dating him right now anyway even though this needlessly makes her life way more complicated than it needed to be - like seriously, how can I not take that as Canon Connverse being founded on the condition of “Okay, if it’ll keep you from losing your shit, going pink, and turning into a monster, I’ll date you”?!
And in the end it yet again gives Steven more-or-less exactly what he wants, even if it isn’t something he really needs.
I’m glad Rebecca clarified that Steven would still visit Beach City often, because I had a very hard time buying him just traveling by himself on the road. And maybe it would have worked better if he was just doing it short-term to “find himself” or something along those lines, but nope! They’re basically saying this is what Steven wants to do.
And honestly, even that is dampened with his clearly-stated intention of visiting Connie way more than he intends to visit the gems. Even though Connie’s gonna be busy. With college.
This just… wasn’t a good ending. It had plenty of good moments - his goodbye to Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot especially was very well-executed and the closest this finale came to drawing out any real emotion out of me. I loved the scene of Steven giving Greg his room; that was adorable. The last meeting with Tsundere Jasper was amusing.
But everything else… ehhh.
I mean, what can we really take from this season that I haven’t already outlined? The biggest takeaways were the plot points everyone saw coming a mile away that weren’t even executed all that well.
In Dreams, as great at is was, might as well have not even happened - because what really carried over from that episode through to the end? Even though Peridot was the only one who got through to Steven, legitimately comforted him and addressed his fears, and the episode for once ended with Steven being happy with no underlying concerns about his problems - immediately he’s back to being awkward and depressed and frustrated by Bismuth Casual.
And I get that shit like trauma shouldn’t be resolved so easily, but for what In Dreams accomplished, I expected there to at least be a semblance of progress. Steven’s known since that episode he can hang out with Peridot and talk to her about whatever without needing a reason to do it, but he never ever takes her up on that again.
So again, what was the point?
You really get the impression that the quality of writing took a backseat just to emphasize the symbolism of an issue people commonly have, but SUF’s execution stretched my suspension of disbelief far beyond its limits.
And nothing stretched that farther than Connie’s insufferable fucking speech in I Am My Monster; that pretty much completely made In Dreams feel like it never really happened in SUF’s continuity.
In some ways, I just prefer to believe In Dreams was just a dream itself. An AU offshoot in SUF itself. Considering it’s so ridiculously good compared to the other nineteen episodes and by far the most pure and wholesome, maybe that’s the best way to see it.
In Dreams was too good for its own series. That’s literally the only thing I personally took from SUF as a whole (at least in terms of lasting impact).
So yeah, I guess for only one episode of twenty to really hit me in the feels, “empty” is an apt way to describe the series, anon.
Seriously, if I didn’t have my own massive SU-AU to mess around in and do things properly, this probably would have upset me more.
Instead, I just chuckle at Rebecca’s Monster Steven and raise her to what I’m putting my version of Steven through in my current story. Where I’m pulling all the stops to make other characters matter even though the stars are undoubtedly Peridot and Steven.
And I’m actually making actions yield serious, lasting consequences.
(yeah, part of me wishes Jasper wasn’t revived - or alternatively, have Steven accidentally shatter White Diamond instead of Jasper since he came awfully close in canon
or even better, shatter Jasper and revive her, then accidentally shatter White and not be able to revive her since Steven used up ALL that diamond essence on Jasper…
yeah I’m kind of a monster)
Your pain is mutually felt, anon. So I’ll prescribe you endless refills of better-written and better-executed SU fanon to heal the emptiness SUF left inside you.
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