#to be very clear im extremly happy writing and working :) !!!!

[girl-bateman]

Write at a café. Don't apply for jobs. Forget to eat lunch because youre busy writing. Go to work while still thinking about your writing. Eat a proteinbar to keep your blood sugar from going crazy. Be miserable at work. Return home while thinking about how writing is a waste of time and that you’ll never get published anyway so whats the point. Cry because you hate your work and dont want to go back. Make dinner. Write some more. Watch an episode of the L word. Go to sleep and stay up fantasising about being a famous author who is widely criticised for their mediocre writing style and problematic themes. Fall asleep and have nightmares about your writing.

Repeat.

[nobaraisalive]

Jujutsu Kaisen ep 149 spoilers, analysis and maybe theories about what Gege is doing

In my opinion it wasn't a romantic kiss, was a CPR. She was unconscious and the kiss came after Mao hited her chest. Is a CPR move to me.

About incest in Jujutsu Kaisen

First i will like bring this post wich im agree with it. Write about incest or abuse is not wrong. What is wrong is romanticize. In my perspective incest is not romanticize in JJK.

Mei and Ui: Mei character is built as someone who has no values or etic at the point where she doesnt even understand it. She even says to Satoru that she does not understand any issue not related to money. She is also potrayed like someone who only cares for herself and we saw that when she ask Ui to sacrifice for her and quickly left Japan in Shibuya incident leaving everyone behind and taking only the money with her (and Ui who is more like a tool to her). It is clear that she has an abusive relationship with his brother. Ui is potrayed like someone who is absolute caught in Mei web. I think there is an effort to show this relantionship like something twisted, abusive and sick. So its clear to me that there is no intention from Gege to romanticize it.

Maki and Mai: first i have to say that kiss looked more like a CPR than a romantic kiss. But i going for the way where this kiss is a romantic kiss to express my point. If there is a romantic feeling between this two (wich i believe not), we have to understand it in the context of their shitty family. There is high chances that cousin x cousin marriage is happening inside the clan. This interfamily marriage are common in clans, dynasty, etc., to protect to blood line and all that shit. Main clans in Jujutsu society are very interested in keep their inherited technique so nobody would be surprised that they practice this type of incestuos marriage. The fact that they look alike so much in Zenin clan could point to this. So Maki and Mai grow up in a context where incest happen. Also the amount of physical and mental abuse in them and the fact that they only have each other to gain support could make this incest feeling possible. As they didn't grow up in a healthy environment and didn't have anyone to teach them about healthy feelings or even love in any form (their mother is totally caught in patriarchy). Again, there is an effort to show that all the problems that Toji, Maki and Mai have are because their shitty family. If incest is happening here is becaue this two girls never learned how to love in a healty way and they are confussed about their feelings. If May really kissed Maki is more like she doesnt know how to express herself because she grow up in abuse and there is no single healthy relationship in her family to look up.

Conclusion: incest is not romanticize in JJK. Maybe need to be portrayed more like a "trouble", maybe. But i think is enough portrayed like a trouble.

Mai's death: I know everyone is hurted because her death. But, lets be honest. We could see that comming. I predicted in my JJK Oracle serie but is not like im super smart or anything, is something we could see comming from how JJK story is build and the meaning of pass deaths in the manga.

"Mai deserve better": of course she did. But I dont think this story is about give what people deserve, is not about make justice for them. Real life and real world is extremly unfair. A story with any kind verisimilitude would potray unjustice.

"Gege is killing all his characters": In the same line of verisimilitude if some big events happen like shibuya incident we can not expect that everyone comeback alive. If all characters always comeback is more like a plot armor.

"Pointless dead" "Mai's arc wasted": All dead in JJK until now have a meaning and Mai's arc was this one from the start. Let try to figure out this.

In the story Maki is the main character, Mai (sorry to say) was auxiliary to her story. Mai is presented to develoment Maki story. To go deep in the patriarchal structures of Jujutsu world and to present the shitty dinamic of the Zenin clan from inside. Mai personal develoment was to understand that Maki actions wasnt the problem, but her all family itself. When the break point comes (Ougi desition to kill both) she realize that live peacefull in the clan dont depends on her obedience, it dependence in what the clan need from her from a moment to other. That there is no way to live peacefully in such an environment. That is when she can finally understand her sister action, reconcile with it and her, and support her sister road. Sadly she can only support with her death. But she doesnt die like subordinate person (like she was in pass episode or like her mother is) she die free, she is not simply killed, she gives her life in order to save her sister and destroy the clan. She emancipates at the end. Of course is sad that she has to die, but again, life is unfair and this story is not about make justice.

In jujutsu kaisen "death" works to build the living characters that go trought that lost.

Suguru -> Satoru

Junpei and Nanami -> Yuuji

Also, it establishes the situation where the characters are. Like Yaga's death wich leave the students in their own.

"Kill another female strong character": Well, i go for this one. There is no much female strong characters so Gege do something for gender equality and stop killing them.

-------------------

In my opinion, and this is in some way a theory, what Gege is trying to do is reverse the typical shonen story.

He brought the typical elements from a shonen: a regular boy who discover that he is not so regular, lots of fights, power up, and even some kind of tournament (just to name a few one).

But at the same time Gege is slowly deconstructing the elements of shonen genre:

The hero is the strongest character and save everyones. We have Satoru is the strongest character and he fails to save people at the point when he realize that "save" dont depends on him. That is why he goes for the teaching/supporting role. Help others to save themselves. However situations keeps going in a way where he losses his closes people and he cant do anything to stop that.

So we can say this: in JJK heros cant save others.

In regular shonen the social structures are never questioned. In JJK we can see how those structures are the villain. We have the conservative structures of jujutsu society wich higher up keep against everything because their privilege depends on it. And the patriarcal structures. Even if JJK is stil away from being "feminist" is one step in the right direction from most regular shonen. Specially those shonen where the main female character is there just to be cute and she cant even speak her mind

We all feel like fell in some kind of trap in JJK. Because in firsts episodes we were like "oh, how cute and fun. look there is a speaking panda" and then we fell in angst. I think this is part of how Gege builds the story to reverse the genre.

Dont expect a happy ending, expect a end with meaning. Dont expect to see your fav getting what they deserve, expect to understand why they went through that.

And remember one thing: Yuuji death is not in discussion in the plot, what is in discussion is how he is going to live what he has left of live.

[nemesisadraste]

Good Omens : What if Shadwell had never enter the bookshop that day?

This is a little OS fanfic im which Shadwell has accepted Madame Tracy's money and even went to Newt rescue with her. Therephore, he never went to Aziraphale bookshop resulting his entrance in the portal and the fire. So how does thing goes in this setting?

Aziraphale had just tells the Metatron he was on his way and called Crowley. He was really suprise about how Crowley ended the call saying "Not a good time I have a friend over." ... What did that mean? Why would he had friends over at a time like this when the world was ending in a few hours and he had planned to go to Alpha Century?... Were they really a friend? Was it a way to tell him he wasn't his friend anymore after the bandstand fight and his multiple refusal to go off with him? Was he in danger?... All those questions were running around his head and he needed an awnser... The only way to have them is to go check himself.

So he tooks Agnes book and he was on his way... But just as he was opening the door he reminds of the portal... It was still open. The angel couldn't possibly leave it that way unsupervise it could be dangerous. The only way for it to close was that someone or something with enough power went inside it and as there was no way he ever goes back to Heaven, he add to think of something else... Something like... Yes exactly this!

He took a piece of old paper and write something on it with an as old ink. Then he trows the paper in the portal. The energy of the portal shatter it in thousend of pieces but the message on it rest intact and arrive perfectly at it's destination :

Count me out.

Three little words. Probably he scariest he had ever write but it was a relief to finally express them. He was now on his own but that didn't matter. Cause for the first time he was free and for the first time he aknowledge he wasn't alone. Well... If Crowley could forgive him this time.

A few minutes later he was at the Demon's flat and he catch him on his way out. He didn't had the time to knock that the door opened to revels a familiar face

Crowley : Angel!

Aziraphale : Hello dear! Everything is allright? our last call was a bit strange to me... Hope I'm not actually disrupting a friends reunion...

Crowley : Oh that? No don't worry it was just Ligur and Hastur being their usual assholes selves I took care of them.

Aziraphale : What?! Hell sended them to get you?! Did they hurt you?! Hownyou allright?!

Crowley : Relax Angel everything is just fine. Ligur got a taste of the Holy water you gave me in 1967 and Hastur is having a blast in my message recorder tape.

Aziraphale : Oh... Ok... anyway I wanted to apologies, I lied to you about the Antechrist, I know where it is and it was so foolish of me cause you were absolutly there is no one to reach out to up there. She didn't even take my call I only had the Metatron and he is as pro armageddon than all the others Archangels, nothing else never mattered to them, not the humans, nor the earth, nor anything else in the whole creation... Nor even me, but thats not really a shocker.

Crowley : I'm sorry to hear that. All of that really matter to me though youvknow that right?

Aziraphale : Really? Even me? After all I did to you?

Crowley : Espetially you angel. You have nothing to apologise for I swear. In fact I'm the one who own you an apologie. I should have been more comprehensive of what you were getting trough... I putted you in probably the biggest loyalty conflict ever and then harass you to choose me and give up when I know how much this world mean to you... You're a guardian afterall... Very sorry for that.

Aziraphale : Well everything is tickety-boo now! After my chat with the Metatron I message Heaven to count me out so there is no conflict anymore. In fact I think that in my heart there never was. (He smile after the last line. It is the sweetest, the purest and the quickest smile to ever exist).

There is a pause after that as they both need to fully realise was that mean. What this whole conversation means.

Crowley : Does that mean you changed your mind for Alpha Century?

Aziraphale : Well no. At least not before we try something to stop all that!

Crowley : Ok... What do you suggest? He got his full powers now he won't be that easy to stop.

Aziraphale : I know someone who might have just what we need.

Crowley : Really who?

Aziraphale : Sergent Shadwell, he is the commander of the humans I told you about the...

Crowley : The witchfinder army?

Aziraphale : Yes you know them?

Crowley : Well yeah those are my guys too!

Aziraphale : Seriously?! What an odd coïncidence... Anyway let go see him. We have to be quick tough if we wanna be able to get out of London.

Crowley : What do you mean?

Aziraphale take Agnes book and opens it to prophecy 4781 and show it to Crowley. The prophecy says :

Prophecy 4781 On the final day when the home of the Big Ben will be 3 hours late of their noon appointements, a ring of evil fire will trap the old smoke in it's center. Thou can all thank the snake for that (ok the last sentence I'm not sure Agnes would actually write that I just wanted to add it for the fun lol 🤣)

Crowley : Shit, shit, shit I had totally forgot about the M25 thing... Shit!

Aziraphale : Well no time to stop this part now so we gotta hurry. We only have half an hour to go search for a weapon and go out of London.

Crowley : A weapon you mean...

Aziraphale : Exactly. We don't have other options now. Not if he decide to go on with it.

Crowley : Ok.

Aziraphale : What?

Crowley : Nothing I'm just suprise this comes from you.

Aziraphale : Yeah me too.

They take the Bentley (of curse) and go too Shadwell apartment but find it empty of it's occupant. They enter regardless (no time to wait) and take the weapon (the same they tok on the show I don't remember the name). When they are out they only got 10 minutes left before the M25 cast in fire so Aziraphale doesn't mind Crowley speed at all. He does miracle the Bentley to be gost like so he doesn't hit anything on the way. Crowley finds it funny and take advantage of it to show his angel how fast the Bentley can really go and he is extremly happy about it. When they finnaly go out he break as a reflex after all the adrenaline and thats when the fire rings light up. Crowley looks back and say :

Crowley : Wow... It worked! Shit... You imagine being stuck in this like an idiot? 🤣🤣🤣

Crowley starts driving again and they arrive in Taddefield american airbase in advance for Armageddon despite having to ask directions to a nice old man. The Horsepeople are already there, but not the Them. Not the Antechrist.

Aziraphale was going to talk to the security guard who was waithing for their explanations when suddently the Bentley cast in fire and explode to ashes and everyone turns to look at the pile of burning metals.

Crowley : MY CAR!!!!!... 90 years without a single crash and now this!!! How?! What?! Who?!

An evil form gets out of the shadow smiling better than it never had. With it's hidious dark grey-green raincoat and a literraly frog on his head he was immediatly recognisable.

Crowley : Hastur. How was your time in my message tape?

Hastur : Not fun. But not as not fun as will be the rest of your existance. (He add this while smiling even better, eviler) Hell will...

Security guard (shacking, affraid and unconfident just like in the show) : Ok all of you stay right where you are and put your hands in the air! I will call backups and they'll take care of you! In the mean time if you dare move I swear I'll shoot you! Starting by you red hair guy with the explosive car!

Hastur had no time for humans bullshit and cast the human to a painfull instant combustion in the horrored eyes of the angel and the other demon. The frog then return to the matter that had him here to begin with.

Hastur : I hate to be interrupted... Now where was I... Oh yeah! Hell will not forgive, Hell will not forget and you know it Crawly. The great war and our victory won't clear your record. From now on the only being to interact with you will be me and trust me it won't be the pleasent kind of interractions for you I'll make sure of that.

Crowley : Oh I trust you on that all right... Come get me then.

He had said that provocativly and was now slowly stepping back has Hastur was slowly stepping foward, his eyes lock with his preys'' waiting for the moment to strike. Aziraphale was between them and he steps in the way to block Hastur's path.

Hastur : Stay out of this sunshine this is an Hellish matter. Your time will come soon enough.

Aziraphale : Is it really? An Hellish matter Inkean cause I am very suprise that your boss sended two of their dukes to catch a renegate so close to armageddon... Aren't you suppose to get your plattons ready for the fight right now?

Hastur : Well,... Yes but Michaël called Ligur to tell us about Crowley not being trustworthy and we never liked the guy so we took the initiative to go catch him before he do more damage. It was a buissness initiative but now he destroyed Ligur wih Holy water right in front of me, trap me in his stupid machine and nownI'm seeing him with you, an angel! So this is personnal.

Aziraphale : A secret personnal initiative?... Oh dear.. I don't know how things work down there but if an angel had did that kind of initiative so close to armageddon they would be in a lot of trouble... Espetially if that said initiative had cause the lost of one of their greatest warrior... I don't think they could ever leave that unpunished... But if Hell is cool with that...

Hastur (laughing badly) : You think you can scare me that way? 🤣 I'm not stupid! Inknow hownHell work sweetie. And the is that if I don't even get this traitor snake back as an apologie present that things will be bad for me. So good try, but now move!

Aziraphale : Or what?

Hastur cast a fireball in his hand and show it to the angel as a reminder : What he did to the human, he could do it to the angel.

Aziraphale : Oh please, thats all you got?

Aziraphale open his wings and "power up" (hope I am clear here 😅) resulting in the extinction of Hastur Fireball. This time it was Hastur who back away as Aziraphale step foward.

Aziraphale : My previous logic wasn't scary enough, ok... How about this one : (his voice was deeper, stronger, but always stays clam) If you back in Hell right now without Crowley and take your position as you should have never leave it to begin with, you migth not be that badly hurt. I mean Before Heaven cruchs you all of curse. Am I clear?

Hastur (Terrified but tried to hide it) : I guess this can wait after the war... I'll go now but Crowley, don't think it mean you'll get out of it cause when we'll won, you'll see that the Universe is not that big compare to the eternity I'll have to find you treat you has you deserve!

On those enlighting words, Hastur sink down to Hell and Aziraphale release a relief breath. Not that he had been scare of Hastur, no. He was releave that he didn't had to actually hurt him for him to go. He hated display of violence and would never do any unless extreme necessity.

Crowley (he had run to his angel sides) : Angel you're allright?

Aziraphale : Of curse dear. I'm a Principality and he a Duke of Hell. In a one/one combat based on brut power he didn't stand a chance against me. He is not stupid he knows it too thats why he left when he saw he couldn't scare me.

Crowley : Sure thing. He's right though, I can't get out of it... If your lot win they gonna chase me down cause they want to destroy all demons, if we stop armageddon for happening Hastur and probably other demons will also chase me down to punish me and if my lot win, they will alo chase you for being an angel. There is no alternative where I'm left alone.

Aziraphale : Yes thats true. But either way I'll be with you. We'll be together. I won't let you alone in this. And I know you won't leave me alone either. So let go in there and see how things turns out cause I'm extremly tire to play "guess what will happen if..." all the time.

Crowley : Angel... Sorry but I can't help it...

Crowley rushs into Aziraphales' arms and hug him for the first time ever. Aziraphale was shock for a second but then he took his wings that was still out and cover his dearest demon in it as a shelter and a promise : He will always be there for him.

The hug was interrupted by the arrival of the Them who enter in the airbase. After that everything that happened is exactly as the show... Or is it?