#to be less fair Odin's speaking like 'the truth' is something bad which is the same thing Frigga does

[worstloki]

this is NOT the ideal response to the question 'You took me for a purpose, what was it?' btw

Favourite Marvel Cinematic Universe scenes: 1/∞ ⟶ Thor (2011) dir. Kenneth Branagh

In the aftermath of the battle I went into the temple and I found a baby. Small for a giant’s offspring. Abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey’s son. Laufey’s son. Yes. Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood, why would you take me? You were an innocent child. No. You took me for a purpose. What was it?

[iamanartichoke]

[please blacklist spoiler tags: #loki tv series spoilers, #loki series spoilers, #loki spoilers] 

I know I have missed a lot of people’s takes and reactions, there’s just - there’s so many. So I’m sorry if I’m inadvertantly repeating anyone or whatnot when I proceed to make my own posts. 

Cut for length and spoilers.

Which is a segue into - I feel legitimately concerned, based on how many people are reading the TVA as being the moral authority and/or being on Loki’s side, and Mobius Dick’s interrogation being therapeutic for Loki (and how gross that is), along with an emphasis on ooc-ness for Loki and just overall cracks and fractures in the (what I thought was a) more or less solid episode - 

I feel legitimately concerned that I may have wildly misinterpreted, like, everything, up to and including Loki’s characterization. And it’s actually kind of hilarious bc like - 

Me: All opinions and interpretations are valid! No worries! Also I’m open-minded! Also I have no issue admitting I’m wrong! 

Also me: *feels physically ill at the idea that my interpretation is so very wrong* 

I’m not even lying, guys, my stomach is in knots. And I guess it’s because, like - I thought that it was pretty straightforward that the TVA are the antagonists here?? That Mobius isn’t Loki’s friend - he’s Loki’s interrogator and handler bc he needs Loki for his own purposes. That the “single sacred timeline” is not only nonsensical but also kinda fucked up (as Loki rightfully points out). 

Like I’m watching these scenes and it doesn’t even occur to me to take the TVA’s word as the correct one here. Why would I? I’m taking Loki’s word as the correct one - Loki, the one who’s calling out everything that is stupid and ridiculous about the concept of the Timekeepers and the TVA, the one who is being scape-goated and is aware of it. 

To touch on the ooc-ness of Loki - I mean, the first half of the episode was cringey and ooc, yeah; Loki was too over-the-top and the “comedic” tone didn’t quite land (I’m honestly wondering if Tom’s just not good at comedy? I mean, Betrayal was a genuinely funny play (and heartwrenching) but besides that, I can’t think of anything really comedic that he’s done.) but I’m willing to overlook that because when we got into the second half of the episode, he began to feel much more like the Loki I love.  

Historically, Loki has consistently been the one to see the truth for what it really is and either saying or doing something about it. He actively tries to delay Thor’s coronation because he recognizes, when no one else does, that Thor is not ready to be king. He knows that Odin isn’t as righteous and wise as he pretends to be (and, in fact, he knows that Odin is guilty of more than Loki could ever be, and he calls that out too). He sees SHIELD as the farce it is (and possibly knows Hydra has infiltrated it; I headcanon that he knew but just didn’t care bc why would he?), and he sees Earth and the humans in a much more accurate light than Thor could hope to. You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers; the humans slaughter each other in droves while you idly fret. Etc. Here, it’s the clowns are playing their parts to perfection (that’s the only quote I can remember right now). 

And I mean, yeah, the narrative has never acknowledged that Loki is right about everything. It’s a huge source of frustration for me bc the narrative continues to be so black-and-white about heroes and villains and, being villain-coded, Loki doesn’t get to be validated no matter how right he is. 

But I don’t think that’s the case here. I think, as the protagonist, his word holds a bit more weight. It should, at least, and I personally didn’t see anything that made me think that we shouldn’t consider Loki the authoritative voice in all of this. Loki, not the TVA. 

Mobius’s interrogation? Was very clearly cruel and fucked up, to me. The sham of a fake ass trial that Loki had to endure, with the implication being that no one who stands trial is actually getting a fair trial bc the TVA has no intention of judging anyone not guilty? Fucked up, with horrifying implications. The process of deleting people from existence being literally as detached and soulless as a trip to the DMV (complete with tickets!)? Very disturbing. Like, none of these things are the traits that I would look at and say, hmm, yeah, these guys seem legit and totally correct about everything, too bad for Loki. 

And Loki’s reactions to Mobius - his frustration, his defiance, and his eventual emotional breakdown (which we only saw when Loki was completely alone) all felt accurate to me. Again, there were a lot of over the top aspects of Tom’s performance here but I think what makes me more willing to overlook them is that, in general, we’re getting a more animated Loki than we’ve gotten to see him before, in a way that feels true to him as opposed to whatever was going on with him in Ragnarok. 

He’s not in the middle of a mental breakdown/identity crisis. He’s not being mind-controlled anymore (or influenced). He’s not being villain-coded while Thor is propped up as the hero and the ideal which, to me, means that we are actually getting to see Loki’s personality when all of that is taken away and the only thing he’s got left is himself. It’s a really shitty situation and I hate that he’s in it, but after the initial exaggerated reactions, his response to it worked for me. 

So - yeah. And now I’m like, biting my nails and my stomach is in knots bc I thought I knew Loki and I had a comfortable idea of Loki, and I thought I was more or less decent at interpreting things - but, so, clearly there were things happening and being picked up on that just whooshed right over my head bc it never occurred to me to be on the lookout for them in the first place. Does that make sense? I don’t even know what I’m saying. 

Just - I am really, really doubting my own perception of what this series is attempting to do with Loki and it does not feel good at all. So I guess ultimately I am not capable of putting my money where my mouth is and treating all interpretations as valid, when it comes to myself. (I didn’t realize I was that far up my own ass so as to speak confidently about validity while telling myself that my idea is pretty correct.) Soo there we are. 

Idk if I even want to post this but it’s time for me to clock out now so, for better or for worse, *hits post button* 

[astridthevalkyrie]

My Companion: Chapter 3

"Maybe, somewhere along the way, Astrid had fallen in love with her husband, and now she had to pay the price." Or, they have an arranged marriage and Astrid isn't sure how dedicated Hiccup is to her. Oneshot. {Now a series of oneshots!}

Read it on FF.net or A03

Time to come back to Arranged Hiccstrid! I was watching the show for which this fic was named and naturally, felt inspired. Have a little looky into Hiccup and Astrid’s early days!

The Night of the Wedding

Astrid felt like a stranger in her own dress.

She wanted to take it off. Technically, she could. Hiccup Haddock was her husband, as was made official in the past few hours, and it would be appropriate to undress and change in front of him.

In fact, it’d be expected. The night of their wedding...a night to conceive the heir.

Odin curse all of the expectations! If she wanted to make a fuss about propriety and wanted to keep herself clothed in front of him, then she reserved her damn right to do just that.

The chief was not a cruel man, that much she knew. Still, his new and tolerant approach to dragons hardly meant that he’d give the same respect to a woman.

She grit her teeth furiously. The idea that a dragon could be respected more than her on this island filled her entire being with anger. It wasn’t fair.

Hiccup walked into the bedroom behind her, closing the door. Astrid’s heart drummed painfully, and she thought longingly of the boat that Rosie had prepared for her. She could have taken it. She should have taken it. But the thought of bringing such shame on the Hofferson name was one she couldn’t bear.

“This is your room,” Hiccup said quietly.

“My room?” Astrid turned and looked him in the eye for the first time since they had abruptly kissed at the ceremony. “Not...ours?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, a light blush on his cheeks. Astrid found it rather awkward. “No, I can’t imagine you want to sleep with me. As in, in the same bed! Thor, I’m not even - not even talking about…”

He trailed off, coughing into his fist and averting his eyes.

Astrid bit her lip, unsure of what to say. She hadn’t considered that he would give her a choice.

“But this is your room, isn’t it? Your father’s before you?”

“Yeah. It’s okay, though. The bed is new and fresh. I made it myself - not that it matters. The point is, you can take it.”

“Kicking my chief out of his own room would be...dishonorable.” She took a deep breath and sat down. “You may stay.”

Her permission sounded more like a demand, and she thought she saw the briefest flash of a smile on his face, but it was gone so soon that she must have imagined it. He sat down next to her hesitantly, clearly nervous about crossing the line.

Frankly, Astrid found his hesitancy made her feel safe.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Every few seconds Astrid wanted to say something, anything, to get rid of the torturous silence, but every time she opened her mouth to speak, the words died on her tongue. She knew an injustice had been done upon her when she was forced to marry a man she didn’t know. But it was the first time she considered it unfair for him as well. What made her certain that he had wanted to marry a woman he didn’t know?

Astrid looked at him, really looked at him, and felt unsure. He was an attractive man, to put it simply. With a sharp - sharp - jawline, striking emerald eyes, and auburn hair that fell into his eyes, she could gaze at him for hours if it was appropriate. It wasn’t unlikely that he had been courting someone before this.

“I’m not your chief, right?”

“What?” She snapped out of her daydreaming in an instant, looking away to pretend like she hadn’t been looking at him. 

“I’m not your chief. You’re not a Berkian.”

Astrid frowned, not having expected to hear such harsh words so soon. And not from him. She had figured the people would not accept her right away, but would her husband resent her because of her blood too? That was hardly fair.

Hiccup’s eyes widened at her dejected look. “That’s not what I meant. I mean - I just thought...I thought you’d want to remain loyal to your own tribe. You don’t have to think of me as your chief just because I’m your husband. I don’t want to be - ” here he winced - “forceful.”

Astrid breathed a sigh of relief.

“You’re really not like most vikings, are you?”

Hiccup laughed, an open laugh that didn’t sound too horrible. “No, but I’ve learned to be okay with it.” He gazed at her hopefully. “Will you be? Okay with it, with me.”

“That’s…” She bit her lip, thinking carefully. “Don’t ask me tonight. Ask me...later.”

He gave her a long, hard look, but nodded. “That’s reasonable.”

With that, they both stood up, and Hiccup stepped out to change into his clothes, leaving her to do the same.

Astrid stared at the door. She didn’t feel...wooed. Or even understood. Nothing in her indicated that she could ever love the chief of Berk.

But marrying wouldn’t be the worst decision of her life.

------------------------------------------------

The Day After They Slept Together

“You know, I’ve been wondering for ages what that noodle has been hiding.”

“Ruffnut,” Astrid said sternly. “I hardly think that’s appropriate.”

“Which is precisely why we’re in your house, and not the Great Hall. So?”

Astrid sighed, exasperated. “I never should have told you we were planning to do it yesterday.”

“Yeah,” Ruff snorted, “You really shouldn’t have.”

She sighed, blowing on her bangs childishly and leaning against the wall. “He was...nice about it.”

Ruff whistled. “That bad, huh?”

“I didn’t say it was bad...”

“There is no good meaning to what you said.”

“I don’t know, Ruffnut!” Astrid slid down the wall dramatically until she was on her knees. “You’re the only person I can talk to about this, but even then I can’t find the words for it. It was good.” At Ruffnut’s dubious look, she doubled down. “It was really good. I don’t have anything to compare to, but it felt good. And that was more than I needed. The point is to conceive an heir.”

All of a sudden, Ruff’s eyes narrowed. It was an unusual look for her - in the few months Astrid had known her, the other woman had rarely ever been angry or upset. “He didn’t pester you about this, did he? He didn’t force you?”

“No! Gods, no.” She took her hand and tugged so she’d sit down. “I brought it up, and asked him if he wanted to, and so we did. It was fine. It was good.”

“No one who actually had a good experience says that, Astrid,” said Ruffnut, giving her a deadpan look. 

“What do you want me to say? How magnificent and thrilling the experience was? Of course I can’t, there were no feelings behind it.”

Well, Astrid thought privately, that wasn’t entirely true. There had definitely been a slight bit of sadness. She had imagined that her first time would be, at the very least, with someone she loved. She hadn’t needed it to be amazing, as long as it had been special. But her and Hiccup...what they had done last night had been duty, not love. It struck her as tragic, as much as she tried to get the thought out of her head.

Still, there was no reason to tell Ruffnut that, so she put on a smile and changed the subject.

------------------------------------------------

The First Fight

Hiccup had always struck Astrid as...calm. He didn’t act on his first emotion (which was a stark difference from his childhood, as Snotlout and Fishlegs had told her). He tried to find the good side to every situation, and he rarely got upset. Anger never clouded his judgement.

She must have caught him on an off day, then.

Astrid knew there was something wrong when he came in and didn’t bother to spare her a glance before going up to their room to change. Usually, they would exchange meaningless niceties, while, while grating, had become a part of her routine. Still, she brushed the uneasy feeling off and told herself that he was probably just tired.

When Hiccup came back down, she chanced a glance at his eyes, and was stricken by the intensity in them.

He sat down on the chair opposite from her and without missing a beat, asked, “What did you tell my people today?”

The possessive way he spoke was the final warning, and Astrid got ready to defend herself.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Hoark said you told them we were going to war.”

Astrid frowned, leaning back. “I did not say that. I said it was likely, but I certainly did not give a declaration in that way.”

“You,” he spoke with barely contained venom, “are the chieftess. Everything you say is a declaration. I’ve had to tell everyone that you were exaggerating.”

“I - so what if they did take it as a declaration? It is the truth. I believe in telling the truth. We probably will be going to war with the Lava Louts, so people should be prepared -”

“That wasn’t your choice to make,” Hiccup snapped, and for the first time since she had met him, Astrid felt some passion from him towards her. Too bad it was negative.

Digging her nails into her skin under the table, Astrid answered in her most monotone voice. “I apologize. I did not realize that talking to your people would be against the rules.”

Hiccup had looked like he was going to fire back, but instead, he opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, oddly reminding her of a blubbering fish.

“Is that what you think I’m doing right now?” he finally muttered. “That I’m setting down the law? That I’m restricting you?”

Even before she spoke, she knew it was a dirty blow, but she couldn’t help it.

“Well, that is what people do with their prizes, isn’t it?”

She knew it wasn’t fair. She knew that Hiccup had never treated her like a prize, or anything less than her own person. But the conversation she had had with the people today had been the closest she had ever felt to them, with a similar sense of pride. She had felt like a Berkian. And Hiccup was once again telling her that she wasn’t.

Hiccup stood up so quickly that the chair fell back behind him. “Hel of a prize, Hofferson. I thought they were supposed to be rewarding.”

Astrid scoffed, standing up as well. “You don’t even deny it. You don’t like me talking to the people, you just want me sitting in here everyday, smiling and knitting a-and cooking you a nice dinner, isn’t that it?”

“That is exactly it!” Hiccup said, his words laced with cutting sarcasm. “Didn’t you read the prisoner’s pamphlet the night of our wedding? Or did you miss it under the guide on how to act like a victim?”

“Oh, right, because I should be happy! I should be thanking you, Chief.” She spat out his title like it was a curse. “For giving me the honor of marrying me and taking me away from my home!”

“You think I wanted this!?”

“No, Hiccup, clearly you didn’t!”

“Oh, for the love of - I don’t want you telling people unconfirmed things so that they don’t go around calling my wife a liar and a gossip!”

“I’d rather be a gossip than an enemy!” she cried.

“Dammit, Astrid, I’m looking out for your reputation!”

“Well I think you’re just looking out for yours!”

They both glared at each other. Astrid realized her fists were clenched, while Hiccup’s hair was unruly and there was a fresh cut on his neck.

She swallowed, not liking the feeling of her anger thawing out. She wanted to be angry. This was the most passionate she had felt in ages. Anger had always been her strong suit. Still, she couldn’t in good conscience ignore the cut either.

So in the most uncaring tone she could muster, Astrid said, “You should probably go get that checked by Gothi.“

“What are you - oh.” Hiccup put a hand over the cut as though she hadn’t already seen it. “I...I meant to go anyway.”

“Then go.”

Hiccup stared at her for a few seconds with an unreadable expression. “Yeah. I think I should.”

He brushed past her, their shoulders knocking into each other. Her heart felt...heavy, and when she heard the door shut, she desperately wanted to go open it and run after him, just to yell some more.

That couldn’t be what love felt like. No, this was just her anger issues. They had always been pretty bad.

Astrid sunk back into her chair, and buried her face in her hands, wondering why arguing with him had been more pleasant than any nicety they had ever exchanged.

------------------------------------------------

That Time They Got Drunk

Hiccup hiccupped, and the sight and irony of it sent Astrid over the edge. She giggled, her head falling on Ruffnut’s shoulder. Ruff shrugged her off, but only so she could stand up and pull Astrid to her feet to dance.

“Here’s to...er…” Snotlout looked around for help but when no one offered any, he shrugged and went on. “Here’s to Berk’s nine hundredth anniversary!”

“It’s Berk’s four hundredth anniversary, you knucklehead,” said Fishlegs, who definitely held his alcohol better than the rest of them.

“Come o-o-o-n, Astrid, you can dance better than that!”

“Here’s to the greatest chief Berk has ever seen!” Tuffnut shouted. Him and Snotlout hollered and congratulated Hiccup with affectionate punches. While usually more serious than this, Hiccup laughed, taking another swig of his mead. 

The music that they were playing in the Great Hall seemed to grow louder. Astrid, who had grumbled about the dress she had to wear only a few hours before, now twirled magnificently in it, her steps becoming lighter and her rather mesmerizing dance getting the attention of several people across the room, including Hiccup, who was all of a sudden looking at her rather appreciatively.

“Here’s to...here’s to Gobber!” Snotlout shouted, looking around wildly. The man in question was fast asleep, slumped over Grump in the middle of the hall.

Astrid’s eyes locked with Hiccup’s, and her heart pounded. His gaze was intense, and something inside her thrummed with anticipation. There was something intoxicating about having the most powerful man in the room watching you with such a hungry gaze. And there was nothing anyone could say about it either, he was her husband.

“Here’s to Astrid’s dancing skills!” Snotlout cheered, sloshing a bit of mead over himself.

She finished grandly and got similar cheers of approval. Only Hiccup remained quiet, and their eyes stayed glued on each other, drinking up all the mead allowed them to see.

“That was amazing, Astrid.” Fishlegs smiled. “Very fluid.”

“Yeah, I bet Hiccup thinks so too,” Snotlout muttered not-so-quietly with a snicker.

The two of them broke out of their trance and shot similar dry looks to Snotlout, who shrugged. “What? I’m just saying, Hiccup thinks you’re beautiful, Astrid.” Then he laughed as though he had just said the funniest thing ever. “Isn’t that right, Hiccup?”

Everyone looked at the chief, who looked up at his wife.

“Of course I think she’s beautiful,” Hiccup said easily, and Astrid’s cheeks flushed.

Hiccup and Astrid left much later, still heavily drunk. Tuff and Ruff had kept them drinking, with their constant dares and challenges. Stumbling and giggling at nothing in particular, they finally reached their hut. 

Hiccup placed his hand on the handle, but before he had a chance to open it, Astrid grabbed his arm and tugged him back.

He looked at her, completely bewildered. “What?”

Feeling ridiculously bold and giddy, Astrid leaned in as close as she could and whispered, “I did that dance for you.”

Immediately, Hiccup’s eyes darkened, and he trapped her against the walls of the hut, a hand on each side, just as she had planned. His gaze went from her eyes, slowly, teasingly down to her lips. Astrid saw his throat bob, but without another moment of hesitation, he leaned down and kissed her.

It wasn’t their first kiss. But, Astrid knew as she tugged him closer, this was what she had wanted to feel the first time she kissed her husband. He wasn’t suffocating, but he was there, overwhelming her senses. The quiet possessive growl he let out drove her crazy, but Astrid remembered to pull back for air. She let herself have a second before kissing him again. One of his hands snaked around her waist and pulled her even closer, before he pulled back only to pepper hot kisses down her neck.

Astrid let her head fall back against the wall, panting excitedly.

They went inside, only pulling away from each other to take off articles of clothing…

Astrid climbed into the bed, with Hiccup only a few steps behind her…

She gripped the sheets in excited frustration...

Her head hit the pillow….

And the two of them were asleep in minutes.

Turned out, they really were very bad at holding their mead.

------------------------------------------------

The First Time They Were In Sync

Spitelout’s voice grated on Astrid so much that she was ready to jump across the table and smack the man. Gods, he ran his mouth as though he actually had anything meaningful to say. And Sven! Odin help her, the man only saw fit to screech at the most unimportant of issues. 

“I say we cut them off entirely!”

Hiccup sighed, and she saw his lips twitch in annoyance. “As I’ve said about six times” - not that anyone was counting - “that seems more like a punishment than a compromise.”

Astrid could predict what Spitelout was going to say next the second he opened his mouth.

“Vikings do not compromise! That isn’t our way!”

Astrid stared sadly at Stormfly, the Nadder she had bonded with recently. Flying, surprisingly, was an extremely fun pastime, it was no wonder Hiccup did it so often. She longed to get on Stormfly’s back and fly away from this council meeting. It wasn’t like anyone but her husband cared what she had to say anyway.

“Just because something has been done a certain way for ages, does not mean that it’s how it has to be done. Just take -”

“The dragons, Spitelout,” she drawled. “You do have one, do you not? Or is it a sheep you so joyously fly? If we stuck to what Vikings did, then we’d have that dragon’s head on a stick.”

“Exactly the point, if a little crude.” Hiccup snapped his fingers and pointed dorkily. “We’re friends with the dragons, and better off because of it.”

“The dragons,” Spitelout began nastily, “are the reason why other tribes mistrust us.”

“And they are also the reason that none of them would actually be mad enough to attack us. Which means there is no need to punish them for something they haven’t and won’t do.”

Hiccup looked like he was desperately trying to hide a smile. “I don’t think I have anything to add to that. Now, if you’ll excuse us, I believe I have to attend to the forge, and Astrid - have you done the perimeter check today? You should get on that.”

Astrid, who had certainly done the perimeter check that day, stood up eagerly. “Yes, I should definitely get to that. Very important business.”

Hiccup disguised his laugh with a cough. 

“The council is adjourned.”

------------------------------------------------

When Hiccup Got Injured

“Get in, get in, get in! What happened!?”

“It’s not that big of a deal, honestly,” Hiccup said, waving a dismissing hand as though his armor and tunic weren’t torn and there wasn’t a cut on his torso. “Just a wild dragon acting...well, wild.”

“I’m not a medic, Hiccup. Why didn’t you go straight to Gothi?” She directed him to sit on one of the chairs before using one of the fire prevention stations that Hiccup kept around to fill a bucket with water.

“Because it’s a small cut?”

Astrid sat in front of him, hesitantly wetting a rag before pressing it to his torso. Hiccup hissed in pain and she winced. It hardly seemed like a “small cut.”

They sat in silence as Astrid dabbed the wound gently, hoping Hiccup wouldn’t realize how thoroughly inexperienced she was at this sort of thing. She bit her lip and continued awkwardly pressing the wound until their eyes met.

Hiccup smiled, genuinely. “Thank you, Astrid.”

She found herself smiling a little too. For some reason, the typical uncomfortable tension wasn’t in the air tonight, and Astrid felt a little...relaxed. There was a comforting aura in the room that she faintly realized had not been there before he came in. It was strange, almost as if him being there put her at ease. But that sounded ridiculous, they weren’t even friends.

Astrid stood up, brushing the distracting thoughts out of her head. She started to head for the stairs, until Hiccup quietly murmured, “Astrid?”

She turned around. “Yes?”

Hiccup looked like he was struggling to ask her something, but so quickly that she nearly missed it, he asked, “Is it later?”

Astrid could have pretended she didn’t know what he was talking about, but the second he said it, she knew. She knew he was referring to the night of their wedding, when she told him to ask her later whether or not she’d be okay with him. With all of it.

She had a fleeting fantasy, one where she said that she was more than okay with him. She was happy! She was in love with him! She would embrace him and they would go up to their room together, lay by each other, and bask in each other’s love.

“Not yet,” she responded truthfully.

Hiccup did not look disappointed. He did not look happy. But he looked like he understood, and nodded. They exchanged a meaningful look, before Hiccup stood up, yawning. “I actually have to go back to the forge, I have a few things to work on.”

Astrid hesitated only a second before blurting out, “Do you need help?”

His head snapped up to her gazing hopefully, fiddling with the wet rag still in her hands. 

“I’d appreciate it.”

Astrid smiled again.

I hope you liked it! Remember, in these moments, they don’t love each other, they barely know each other. For the cute romance, I’d read the previous two chapters. 

Until next time!

[emeraldspiral]

Part 4 of my Thor rewatch thoughts:

The Jotenheim incident:

Heimdall says “You’re not dressed warmly enough”, but setting aside the fact that Loki and Thor can change their outfits into whatever they want, I always assumed they weren’t really affected by temperature since they don’t end up bundling up when they do go to Jotenheim, and can survive in the vacuum of space.

Did they pitch-shift Heimdall’s voice down? Why would they do that when Idris’s voice is already pretty deep?

Honestly, what even was up with Loki freezing in front of Heimdall? Was it part of his plan to make himself seem like Thor’s reluctant accomplice, or was he worried Heimdall had caught on to his plan?

Also, Heimdall doesn’t know for sure Loki can conceal himself from him until he goes to Jotenheim alone and Heimdall knows exactly where to look but doesn’t see him. But if Loki’s had this ability for a while, then surely Heimdall’s noticed that there have been times he tried to spot him and failed. So it’s not unreasonable for him to put two-and-two together and figure out that if Loki could sneak around behind his back, he might be able to conceal others from him as well. So I don’t think it’s fair to suggest, as I’ve seen others do, that Heimdall’s just always been prejudiced against Loki.

Really tho, the entire plot of this movie could’ve been averted if Heimdall had actually done his job. Imagine if the son of the South Korean president just waltzed up to the border and told the guards to open up the gate so he could punch Kim Jong Un in the face. Like, couldn’t they have had Loki do a Jedi Mind Trick or forge Odin’s signature on a fake permission slip or something to make Heimdall look like less of an irresponsible jackass?

The bifrost dome gives me deep body flashbacks to playing Riven in the 90s.

IMAGINE the conversation Heimdall would’ve had to have with Odin if his warning actually came to fruition. “Yeah, I knowingly transported your sons and their friends into enemy territory against your wishes and in violation of the tenuous truce you have with Laufey and they all died a horrible frozen death because I couldn’t bring them home without risking the security of Asgard. Hope Frigga’s baby-maker is still working because you’re gonna need a new heir ASAP to take care of Hela once your crusty-old ass kicks the bucket. You can handle delaying your Odinsleep and inevitable death another millennium-and-a-half until they’re old enough though, right?”

LMAO. One of the warriors says “We shouldn’t be here IMMEDIATELY upon landing. Like, doesn’t even wait for things to go sour. He got all the way down the bridge and through the trippy-space tunnel and then suddenly had second thoughts about 30 seconds too late.

“Your father is a murderer and a thief”. Wow, they were setting up that reveal since the beginning.

“You long for battle. You crave it. You're nothing but a boy trying to prove himself a man.” Okay, but Laufey’s not wrong tho.

Once again Thor, really not endearing yourself to me by telling Loki to shut up in just about the most disrespectful manner possible when he and Laufey are being completely reasonable.

I feel like I recall Laufey being pretty cold-blooded, and I guess he’d have to be to abandon Loki to die, but he’s honestly acting about as sensibly as Odin was before. He’s choosing to let Thor’s insolence slide to avoid war, rather than being eager to slay his enemy’s son even when it wouldn’t be the best thing for his people, as you’d expect a villain like him to do.

So here’s where it gets a little murky on what Loki was trying to accomplish. Like, he clearly set Thor up to go to Jotenheim and stir up trouble. But could he have predicted what happened after they arrived? Did he plan for Thor to start a fight and then chicken out and try to dissuade him when he realized they were outnumbered, or was he counting on being able to talk Thor down, thinking just the fact that they went to Jotenheim against Odin’s wishes would be enough to get him in trouble with their dad? At first I thought maybe the giant could’ve been an illusion Loki created to goad Thor into fighting. But no, that was a real giant, and Loki’s “damn” was a genuine reaction.

Also, Thor starting a goddamned war after Laufey very graciously offered to let him go scott-free because someone called him “Princess” is the epitome of not endearing me to this character. Neither does the line “At least make it a challenge for me!” Like, I thought it couldn’t get any worse than Superman beating the shit out of an ordinary human first thing after regaining his powers in Superman II, but Thor’s taking it to a whole other level. Like, he caves a guy’s face in with his hammer and says “That’s more like it!” Like, this isn’t a bar room brawl. People are dying and he’s loving it. He’s like a full-blown sadist. Also, Chris’s delivery of these lines sounds so much like “But I was going to Tosche station to pick up some power converters!”

Odin was absolutely right when he told Thor “You are unworthy of the loved ones you’ve betrayed”. Thor’s friends should hate his guts after this incident. He nearly got discount Westley from the Princess Bride and the rest of them killed. It makes no damn sense that they’re still all over his dick lamenting the unfairness of his punishment and trying to get him back when they have no evidence of Loki being up to anything.

Honestly, even if Loki felt bad about goading him into going to Jotenheim, Thor was still the one who chose to pick a fight instead of leaving peacefully. If I were Loki, I wouldn’t have even tried to speak up, cause Odin was saying nothing but the truth. I can’t tell if it’s a testament to Loki’s character that he loves his brother so much that even when he proves him entirely correct about not being ready for the throne (which was his whole plan all along) he still feels compelled to defend Thor, or if it’s a testament to how poor the writing is that they actually think Loki should feel bad and try to defend Thor, as if what Thor did wasn’t completely indefensible and he brought Odin’s reprimands upon himself. Loki may have provided the bait, but Thor didn’t have to take it.

I feel like 90% of the reason I, and everyone else, hate Odin is because of TDW, not this movie. Like, he seems level-headed enough with the wisdom he tries to bestow and he’s clearly distraught and on the verge of tears as he prepares to banish Thor. You can tell he’s disappointed and reluctant, but has to do his duty as king by giving Thor the punishment he absolutely deserves for his crimes. But in TDW he’s suddenly making a lot of bad decisions regarding how to deal with the Dark Elves and is absolutely stone cold toward Loki. He doesn’t show a hint of heartache over what his son has become or what he is duty-bound to do to him, and even seems to relish letting Loki know he’s essentially dead to him and he’s going to make the rest of his life as miserable as possible. I feel like this might’ve been done because they wanted Frigga to be the only one who hadn’t given up on Loki, so it’d be sadder when she died. But it had the side-effect of making it seem like Loki’s perception of being less-loved was a lot more valid than I think it was intended to be.

Thor has no way of knowing about the enchantment Odin put on the hammer because he wasn’t present for it, so how does he know later that the reason he can’t pick it up is because he isn’t “worthy” rather than just because he’s now mortal? Also, could anyone have picked up the hammer before, or was the enchantment always there and Odin just changed the conditions of what “worthy” was? Or could Thor have picked up the hammer before because he had his powers, but then couldn’t because he was stripped of them and reduced to mortal strength and only got the godly strength he need to be able to lift the hammer when the hammer deemed him worthy?

Also, how does making Thor mortal work exactly? Do Asgardians have some equivalent of the heart-shaped herb from Black Panther that gives them their superpowers or are they actually born that way and Odin can somehow suppress their super strength and other magical powers?

[lowkeyorloki]

Mythology Nerd

Anonymous requested: Could I request a Loki x reader where the reader is secretly a Mythology nerd and so they don't talk to Loki very much (either because they're a fan or intimidated or something else) even though they talk to Thor (bonus points if thor knows about their love of mythology) but then one day Loki catches them reading a norse Mythology book super late at night? Anyhow, I love you! Your work is amazing and I hope you're having an amazing day!

A/N: Thank you sm I love you too!!! I loved doing this request! I actually studied Norse Mythology for a year (that’s why I love Loki so much) so... !!!!

~

It was bad enough Thor knew.

The book of Norse Gods had been given to you by a history teacher a long time ago after they saw you tearing through Greek myths. It was old, bound by  leather, and had been one of the few personal items you had brought with you to Avengers Tower. 

Which had been before Thor moved in. 

He had found you reading the book in the kitchen one day and smiled. He jokingly asked if you wanted his autograph.

“That,” you said, “Is exactly why I didn’t want you to know. You knowing I like these myths is like me being a creepy fan for a teen show... It’s weird.”

Thor shrugged. “Honestly, Y/N, it’s comforting. You Midgardians seem to have forgotten the truth ever since my brother and I arrived. My people are more than my own family squabble.” You smile at this. “Speaking of my brother...” Thor continues, wriggling his eyebrows. “I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to hear of your disposition of us. I’ll just-” 

“No!” you lept forward, grabbing Thor’s hands. “Please, don’t tell Loki.” you beg. Thor looks confused.

“Why not?” he asked. You stutter, knowing no matter how hard he tried, Thor would tell Loki of your feelings for him if he knew.

“I... Can you imagine what this would do to his self-image?” you say. “It would be higher than it already is... We don’t want that.” Thor nods, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

“You’re right.” he says. “My lips are sealed.” you nod, and pots and pans crash behind Thor in the sink. When he goes to see what happened, you scurry out of the room, berating yourself for being stupid the whole way. 

~

“Have you been reading anything good lately Y/N?” Loki asks you the next night over dinner. You nearly choke on your food, coughing so much Thor slaps his hand on your back. Loki looks unamused.

“Um,” you say after downing a glass of water. “Nope... Just training as much as I can.” you nod, praying Loki will turn his gaze elsewhere.

You quickly excuse yourself. As you walk out of the dining hall, Thor is (not so) subtly mouthing ‘good save’ to you. Through gritted teeth, you smile and give him a thumbs-up. 

~

When you’re certain everyone, especially Loki Laufeyson, have gone to their rooms, you go to the couch with your book in hand. The couch has the softest blanket ever, as well as an amazing view of New York.

You’ve been sitting for around fifteen minutes, the floorboards creak, and you look up suddenly. 

Shit. you think. Loki stands in front of you, wearing no expression.

“Mind if I sit?” he asks, gesturing to the seat next to you. You pull your knees to your chest, wordlessly saying yes. Loki sits and stays silent for a few minutes, breaking it with “Is there a reason you avoid me?” 

You scoff, shutting the book on your lap.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you tell him, knowing exactly what he was talking about. Loki turns so his whole body faces you, and you notice how relaxed his arms look in just a simple tee shirt.

“Is that so? Y/N, you talk to me less than you talk to Hawkeye. And he’s retired.”

“That’s not true.”

“Really? Tell me, what’s the difference between me and my brother? I at first thought you were intimidated by a god, by you aren’t scared of Thor at all. What’s different about me?”

“Um, maybe your criminal record?” you retort. Loki chuckles. 

“Fair enough.”

There’s quiet once more, before Loki points at (godamnit, godamnit) at the book in your lap.

“What are you reading?” you quickly drop the book on the ground.

“Oh, just an old classic. Nothing important.” you say. 

“Hm.” Loki tuts. “Because I could have sworn it was-” he snaps, the book appearing in his hands. “My history, yes.” he opens the book to the drawing of Yggdrasil, flashing it at you. You groan, upset you’ve been caught.

“I’m sorry I kept it from you, it’s just that-”

“There’s no need to be sorry Y/N.” Loki interrupts you with what sounds like feigned innocence. “I understand. It would do horrors to my self-image. “ he smirks at you. “You wouldn’t want that, would you?”

“How...?” you ask, trying to figure out how Loki could have heard you say that. “The pans! Were you in the room with us?!” Loki shrugs once more.

“You should know from these, I am a shape-shifter.” he says.

“I’m sorry.” you admit. “I... Shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t nice.” Loki smiles.

“Well, Y/N, I’ll accept your apology on one condition: You tell me why you didn’t want me knowing about your penchant for the tales of my people.” You freeze. All the time Loki had been in the the Tower, you’d manage to keep your feelings for him hidden. You weren’t going to throw all the stolen glances and secret swooning away for some banter happening at 12:03 a.m. 

“No.” you say. Loki’s expression hardens for just a moment before returning to normal.

“Very well.” he says. “Hm, what myth are you reading now? I hope you don’t mind if I...” Loki begins to open the book to the page you have marked.

“No, Loki, wait!” you jump closer to Loki than you’ve ever been, but it’s to late: Loki’s eyes narrow, and his knuckles have turned white as he grasps the old leather.

“Ah.” he says. “My torture.”

You look to the page, the image of Loki chained to a rock as a snake dripped venom into his eyes. 

“That was one of Odin’s worst punishments, I’ll admit.” he says. Loki begins to get up. “I think I’ll leave now-”

“It’s my least favorite myth.” you say. Loki looks at you, your faces so close your noses almost touch. You shake your head.

“Why?” he asks.

“I’ve always hated the idea of you being in so much pain.” you whisper. Loki’s face begins to relax, but soon looks distressed. “Odin intended to leave you there forever.” you rest your hand on Loki’s knee. He does nothing.

“I always dread that part of the book.” you continue. “And for what? You’ve been so mistreated Loki, and I’m so sorry.” you’re combing through Loki’s hair now, moving your thumb up and down his leg. “I’m sorry.” you repeat. “They won’t even accept they’ve wronged you... It’s always made me upset.” Loki looks into your eyes, and you bring your other hand up so you’re holding his face. Slowly, you lean forward and press a kiss on each of the god’s eyelids, where the venom had dripped so long ago.

Loki breathes out, grabbing your wrist.

“I want to kiss you.” he tells you. “I have since I arrived...” he pauses. “Odin’s punishment was horrible, but I’d take it any day over denying myself of you.”

“You don’t have to.” you tell Loki.

Loki closes the little space that had been between you, pulling you onto his lap. He smiles, which makes you do the same into your kiss. 

“What was it you didn’t want to be?” he asks. “A creepy fan, was it?” you rolls your eyes and swat at Loki’s chest.

“Shut up.” you say.

“Make me.”

You do.

[a-random-viking-blog]

Loki’s Therapy

this is a short piece I did as part of the writing exercises from Neil Gaiman's art of storytelling masterclass, so without further ado, I give you Loki’s therapy

Intorductions and Baldur's death

“This is going to be an unusual client.” Dr Fliberwitz thought to himself, he had been going down steps deeper into the earth for almost twenty minutes. He had first suspected something was off when he had been told to meet the client at a cave, but the money was good so Fliberwitz had agreed without question, in hindsight that had been a bad idea.

Upon thinking this, he noticed an ear piercing screaming coming from a little further down, Fliberwitz increased his pace down the stairs, in a rush, he slipped on the damp rocky steps and fell down the last few stairs.

Upon recovering from the fall, he looked around, it was not a huge room, but it was still a sizeable cavern. He could just about see the opposite walls in the dim torchlight, with a pale silhouette moving against it, but this was something to think about later. His eyes were drawn to the source of the scream, a man, chained to a rock in the centre of the room. A snake's head barely visible in the darkness above him, Fliberwitz stood watching in shock as a drop of venom slid slowly down the snake’s fang, and fell almost, to Fliberwitz at least, in slow motion, followed immediately by a blood-curdling scream.

Dr Fliberwitz hurried over “Don’t worry I’ll get you out” he said, panic clear in his voice.

“Its pointless” came a breathless reply in between the agonised screams. Fliberwitz couldn't stand to see someone in such a torturous position and tried his best to undo the chains, as he fumbled he stopped as the silhouetted figure drew closer. Upon closer inspection, he could make out a feminine figure carrying a bowl, which moved swiftly towards the man chained to the rock.

As the bowl was held over his head protecting him from the dripping venom, the screaming quickly subsided and once the man was calm, he turned to Dr Fliberwitz coughed and said “sorry for your rather lacklustre welcome, but as you can see I’m hardly in a position to welcome guests. So you must be that therapist Odin demanded I speak to, not like I have much choice in the matter, and after a few millennia in this cave, it is a welcome distraction”

“Wait, Odin?” Fliberwitz inquired.

“Yes our magnanimous king and the one whos whole idea this fun little prank is…” the chained man replied

“So does this mean that your Loki?” asked Fliberwitz

“Wow, I can see why Odin sent you, a real genius… yes i am he, Loki god of fire and mischief, in all my glory, and this is my wife, Sigyn” as Loki said this Sigyn, took a hand off the bowl to wave, spilling a small drop of venom onto Loki’s face eliciting a short scream. “ I guess you're here to ask me about my feelings and my childhood so I can have a breakthrough and a cry and then you get to go away feeling smug that you helped a god, what a wonderful human you are…”

“We can talk about your feelings and your childhood if you want, but I figured you’d rather talk about stories, and if you'd like to share it, I'd like to hear yours. Afterall I’m sure there's more to it than us mere mortals have heard”

“Carry on playing to my ego and I might even begin to like you.” Loki said a hint of surprise detectable in the layers of sarcasm and spite. “Fine I’ll tell you, but only because I’m bored. Afterall being chained a rock for centuries is far from the most exciting pastime.”

“So it all began a long time ago, in a happier time for everyone, and as many of the best stories, it began with a simple prank. Baldur was having some crazy nightmares, he was getting so upset that he was losing his mind, it was hilarious. But true to form Odin and Frigga couldn't see the hilarity of it. As this went on over the weeks and months, Baldur got more and more disturbed, it was the most interesting golden boy had ever been. But Frigga disagreed, she decided she had to do something, and off she went. A few weeks later she returned, making this crazy claim that everything had promised not to harm Baldur. Now I know a lie when I hear one, I've told so many myself that I can the moment I hear one, unless it’s told with as much charm as i do. So I felt the need to find out just what she was lying about, whilst the rest of the gods got to work having fun throwing things at Baldur and watching them stop before hitting him or just bouncing off. The things that amuse those mindless brutes.”

Fliberwitz let out a small chuckle, Loki smiled wryly and continued “Frigga has always been a doting mother, so the best way to wrangle the truth out of her was to pretend to be a doting mother too, so I took the form of a lovely little old lady, and decided to have a chat with her.

I asked her “Did all things swear oaths to spare Baldur from harm?” “Oh, yes,” the goddess replied, “everything except the mistletoe. But the mistletoe is so small and innocent a thing that I felt it superfluous to ask it for an oath. What harm could it do to my son?” and in that moment I knew exactly what I should do.

I quickly hurried to Midgard, it didn’t take me long to locate a small bush of mistletoe, and it was a small plant, but not so small that I couldn’t make a few little darts from it, but I knew it couldn’t be the one to throw them, so I had to find a patsy.

Upon my return to Asgard, the blundering oafs where still amusing themselves with their simplistic games of throwing things at Baldur, almost all the gods were joining in, almost all, that was when i found the perfect patsy” a twisted smile formed on Loki's face. “Sat in the corner alone was Hodr, Baldur's brother, left out of the festivities as Baldur was the only one who ever bothered trying to bring him into things, and with Baldur occupied no one was paying him the slightest bit of attention. With such a perfect fall guy how could I not go through with my plan?

I approached Hodr, and at first he was suspicious, I guess I’ve always had a bit of a reputation, if anything it only puts the blame further on him for trusting me, the fool, but quickly I made him believe that I wanted only to help him enjoy the festivities with the other brutes, then he argued that he was blind how could he possibly join in the fun. So I presented him with my freshly made darts, and told him that i would guide his hand, he would be part of the fun, joining in with the celebration of his brothers new found immortality. It was near impossible for me to hide my grin, luckily with him being blind and the other gods distracted, it didn’t really matter. I lead him over, placed a dart in his hand, guided him to aim for the heart, and then the moment he threw it, I made myself scarce, after all I didn’t want to make it too obvious what I’d done, also tricking Hodr into killing his brother and Odin's most beloved son, I almost wet myself laughing!” Loki chuckled Fliberwitz forced a smile “so there’s clearly more to this story did you not feel any guilt about this?”

“Not in the slightest” Loki replied “after all this had been my greatest prank to date, but it turned out there were still plenty of chances to milk more fun out of this”

“So what happened?” inquired Fliberwitz

“Well obviously Odin and frig were distraught and they desperately tried to bring Baldur back, and soIi had to fuck with them. They dispatched a rider to bargain with my daughter Hel. Now Hel is fair, but she is not exactly fond of Odin, so she offered a deal,  if everything in the 9 realms showed their grief for the loss of Baldur, in the form of a tear, she would release him from the underworld. Now this would be too obvious if I didn’t cry, but trickery is my speciality so I formed a plan, i let their riders go forth and once they were almost done i took the form of an old giantess crone and waited for them in a cave. Upon the entrance of the riders, they begged for me to shed a tear for Baldur, and naturally i simply refused, they begged and begged, but i did not budge, and they left defeated to return to Asgard with news of their failings. Once they were out of earshot, i laughed so hard! It was the perfect revenge for what they did to my kids.

“What happened to your children?” Fliberwitz prompted

“Well that i think is a story for our next session don’t you think? Afterall it looks like the bowl is getting full, but i’ll give you a hint” Loki says as he rattles his chains

“In that case, i shall i be back next week at the same time” Fliberwitz said as he gathered his notes, put them in his bag and prepared for the long journey back up the stairs out of the earth  

As Fliberwitz reached the exit of the cave, the reality of what had just happened began to hit, not only where gods real, but he had just been speaking with one, these myths were real, what else was real? He had many questions, just what was real, was the world as he knew it meaningless?  Was everything humanity has focused on and held dear nout but a meaningless distraction? But Fliberwitz was exhausted, and with no answers to be found he headed home to a much-needed rest, and to process what he had just learned.

Loki’s kids

The next week seemed to take forever to roll around, Fliberwitz struggled to focus in sessions with his human patients, his mind kept wandering back to that cave, and the god trapped there, in comparison to him, nothing felt real, almost as if Loki and his cave where more real than reality. Saturday finally arrived and as Fliberwitz descended the long stone staircase into the bowls of the earth, the excitement began to stir in his chest, as Loki's screams began to reach his ears, his heart began to beat faster excitement building, and trust in his own sanity returned. With each passing day the previous Saturday had felt less real, like a dream fading from memory, but upon hearing the screams it all came flooding back, and he excitedly hurried down the steps almost slipping a couple of times in his haste, but catching himself before he fell.

As he reached the chamber where Loki lay, Sigyn was just returning with the bowl, she smiled at Fliberwitz as he entered. “Ahh doctor, a welcome breath of fresh air, in this dark dank cave”

“Good day Loki” Fliberwitz replied, “I'm looking forward to hearing more of your story, you were about to tell me about what happened with your children, you mentioned your daughter Hel last time, she rules the underworld, is this correct?”

“Yes she does, although while she was treated with some respect it is her brothers that i sought vengeance for”

“Her brothers? What happened to them?”

“Well i promised you the story last time, their mother was a beautiful giantess named Angrboða, and before you ask our dating customs aren't quite as prudish as you humans weird jealous loving thing,” he says as Sigyn nods her head

We had been seeing each other for a while, before she gave birth to triplets three beautiful children, that the aesir believed to be monsters, Hel, whom i have already mentioned, she was born half dead, straight down the middle, one side beautiful and alive, the other skeletal. Her brothers where Jormungandr and Fenrir.  Fenrir is a wolf and Jormungandr a serpent, both were large for their age, and only got bigger. But such large powerful creatures scared those cowardly fools, so Jormungandr they tossed into the sea, and he now encircles all of Midgard. Fenrir at Tyr’s insistence was permitted to stay in Asgard for a while, but as the gods watched him grow they became ever more afraid. So they decided to chain him up, but he was strong, stronger than any chain, so when he broke their strongest chain like it was paper, it sealed his fate. They were terrified.

In their fear, they went to the dwarves loathsome little creatures, but useful, they are the greatest craftsman in the nine realms. Chains would not be enough to seal my son, so they created a magic ribbon, a damned ribbon of all things! They took all sorts of things, like the sound of a cat’s footsteps, woman’s beard’s and the roots of a mountain to make the *ugh* ribbon, this is why you no longer see these things in the mortal world.

So naturally my son was wary of the gods when they approached him with a ribbon, but after some goading, he agreed to let them tie him, but as he didn’t trust them, he demanded that a god put their hand in his mouth as insurance to make sure they untied him. Tyr the god who vouched for Fenrir to stay in Asgard, and who played with him, fed him and generally treated him well, offered his hand as collateral. This set Fenrir at ease, after all he didn’t want to believe that Tyr would try and trick him, but sadly Fenrir was young and naive, none of the gods can be trusted, especially Odin. So they bound Fenrir, and even his incredible strength was not enough to break the magical binding. Upon admitting defeat and asking to be released the gods began to laugh and torment my poor son, unable to defend himself or leave he bit down removing Tyr's hand, hurt beyond measure by Tyrs betrayal.

After the gods had had their fun mocking Fenrir they sealed him away under the earth, as i’m sure you can tell they seem to have a bit of a fetish for it” Loki says as he gestures as best he can to the cave around him.

Fliberwitz was left flabbergasted, the gods have generally been portrayed as wise and kind, but in reality, it was starting to sound that they were no better than humans, potentially worse. Fliberwitz’s heart sank, the hope he had found and built up over the week had just been smashed, the gods where not beings to be worshipped and loved, but now the picture was forming of tyrannical beings to be obeyed without question or face a fate worse than death, and even if you obeyed, they may well do it anyway if they perceived you as a threat. This shook Fliberwitz to the core, could everything we know be wrong? There were so many questions Fliberwitz wanted to ask, but to indulge his curiosity would bring the focus back to Loki's bitterness and hatred, a state of mind he needed to move Loki away from, so his curiosity he had to set aside, but he was a professional, the clients mental health comes first. The cave had gone silent, except from the slow dripping of the venom, their timer for their session, dripping away. Fliberwitz felt the need to say something, to break the silence “did you get to spend much time with your children before they were taken?”

“No, i had to leave to go run some trivial errands for Odin shortly after they were born, in hindsight, it was probably just to get me out of the way so they could take them” Loki sighed

“That’s tragic, the gods sound like greater monsters than your children could ever be!” exclaimed Fliberwitz The silence returned, “they are the greatest monsters in the nine realms” claimed Loki, punctuated by a loud scream as the bowl began to overflow once more, marking the end of the session. “That is not even the worst that they have done to my children, but that is a story for another time, goodbye Mr Fliberwitz”

Fliberwitz began the long slow ascent, his head spinning, once again his conversation with the god of mischief had left him with more questions than answers, and his entire world view shattered, now he felt a great pain to the core of his very being as the world he believed he knew crumbled around him.

The next week was even slower, it felt like the gods where slowing time to torment him like they torment Loki, how could the gods use such trickery, what of the honour that was always associated with them? Where they really as bad as Loki made out? But he couldn't openly interrogate his client, that was incredibly unprofessional, so his personal opinion would have to wait, he had to set himself aside, and keep his role as a professional therapist. If he didnt, then he would likely lose his mind, although that was looking likely either way.

The party

Fliberwitz once more found himself going through the small cavern opening down the stairs, lost fantasising about what he was about to discover what he would learn about the imprisoned god this week, as he approached the bottom of the passage, he noticed a distinct lack of screaming, which was his normal welcome. Upon stepping into the main chamber he was greeted by “your late Mr Fliberwitz” Fliberwitz looked at his watch, he was half an hour late, a large portion of their session was already gone.

“I’m sorry Loki, traffic was awful this evening” he lied, “shall we get on with it? I believe you were about to tell me about what happened to your other children.”

“To tell that story requires another one first, and thankfully that story is quite short, largely as I was quite drunk, so my memory is foggy. The gods were having a feast, and they had the gall not to invite me, so after a few drinks by myself I thought the best idea was to go and confront Odin, we were sworn brothers, he made an oath not to attend a feast unless I too was invited. This feast was a big one, Thor had gone to a lot of effort to secure a large kettle for aegir to brew mead fit for the gods in, and once the mead was ready the feast was prepared, it was grand in scale, one of the greatest feasts I've ever seen, and that made me feel all the more insulted that they hadn’t invited me, after all, what kind of grand feast would it be without my ingenious brand of comedy?

So I entered the hall, and confronted the gods. I will admit in my drunken haze this may not of been my wisest decision, but i couldn’t let this insult go ignored, there was no seat saved for me, nor a horn nor plate for me, odin had broken his oath, and showed no remorse in doing so. In my stupor i began to lash out in the way i best know how, i insulted each and everyone of them, bringing many of them to tears, although after Baldur's recent death the gods were weak of will and filled with sorrow, making them easier targets than they had ever been, and in my drunken state i ripped in to each of them as deeply as i could, every ounce of betrayal and spite that i felt channelled, every wrong that was done to me manifested in insults, it wasn’t long until Frigga said, “Oh, if my son Baldur were only here, he would silence thy wicked tongue!” and at this point a grin grew on my face, i turned and admitted what i had done to Hodr and Baldur, the moment the words had left my lips i realised my mistake, and i fled as fast as I could, barely missing lightning from the raging thor, whos thunder shook the halls.” “Wow, i can understand your sense of betrayal, it must have been painful, but you did kill baldur, and you know yourself the pain of something terrible happening to your children, what did you think would happen once they found out?” Fliberwitz asked nervously, after all he was now questioning a god, this was not what he was used to.

“I guess i wasn't thinking, i just wanted to hurt them, however i think Odin already suspected the truth, knowing him it was probably an elaborate set up to trick me into doing what i did, or at least into acting in a manner that they could reasonably disown me for, after all thor was particularly fast to act, and that oaf is not normally the quickest. But i guess i really messed up there” Loki sighed, Fliberwitz breathed a sigh of relief, he had just questioned a god like he would a normal patient, and it had been okay. But before he could begin to ask any follow-up questions the venom began to trickle down the bowl, and with the agonised scream, their session came to an end for this week and Fliberwitz began the long ascent once more. This time he berated himself on the way up for allowing himself to lose track of time and miss such a large portion of his appointment, if he had been on time he would of been able to get deeper to the route of Loki’s issues, but he could feel proud he had made progress.

The punishment

It had been almost a month since Fliberwitz had first met the chained god, he was finding himself now far more confident in dealing with his patients, he had grown a lot through talking with a god, and he hoped the god had too.

Saturday once more came around and he returned to the cave, this time ensuring to arrive on time, and make his way swiftly down the long damp stone steps, deep into the bowels of the earth. He entered the chamber just as the usual screams came to an end. “Good afternoon doctor, it’s good to see your on time for a change”

“You know your snide remarks are a large part of what brought you here don’t you Loki?”

“What do you know? Only what little i’ve told you, you don’t know the pain i suffer every day, nor do you know what i’ve been through, the confusion, the way i’ve been treated, the uncertainty, the mistrust. You know nothing” Loki snapped struggling against his chains

“Your right Loki, i don’t know how can i, i only know what you tell me, that's why im here, to help you talk through things. To share your pain, and to help make sense of what confuses you,so help me understand.” There was only silence, Loki looked away from his therapist to hide his shame. “Or if you feel more comfortable you can continue your story?”Fliberwitz enquired “ i believe you were going to tell me what happened after the feast, and what happened to your other children. Where those other children with sigyn here?”

Loki sighed “yes they were, i loved those kids, but their part in my tragic tale isn’t quite yet. I didn't think that they would do anything to them, how wrong i was.

So after i escaped from the feast, i found myself a nice mountain to hide on, i lived in a hut with four doors so i could always see in every direction, and escape no matter what direction they came from. From there i would spend most days as a fish in a river, so that they couldn’t tell me from the other fish, and spent a few days working out how they could possibly catch me, i even wove the first net, to try to think up a way to escape it should the gods manage to create one. This it turns out was my undoing, just as i finished the net, thor, mimir and couple of other gods came, so i tossed the net on the fire and fled to the stream and disguised myself as a salmon. Unfortunately, the net hadn’t fully burnt by the time they arrived, and Mimir was able to reconstruct it, and used it against me, i tried to escape, but they were relentless and before long i was caught. They brought me to this cave”

“Wait so what happened to your sons?” if you're at the cave in your story but your children still haven’t been mentioned?” asked Fliberwitz

“I will get to them soon” assured Loki “ as they were waiting in this very room with Sigyn as the gods dragged me down, upon seeing my family dread filled my entire being, it was one thing to condemn me for my actions, but to condemn my family like they did, they truly are the monsters.” a tear rolled down Loki’s cheek, he turned away to try to hide it. “First thor grabbed me and held me in place forcing me to watch what happened next. They used ancient magics to turn my beloved Narfi into a wolf and forced Sigyn and I to watch as he tore his brother Nari apart.” “That’s evil!” exclaimed Fliberwitz “how could they do such a thing?”

“It gets worse, they used Nari’s entrails to bind me to these rocks, and Skadi placed that serpent to drip its venom into my face for as long as i’m bound here. Then they used more magic to keep the snake in place and to turn the entrails to chain, and here i have been for millennia, trapped bound with the guts of my own son, with serpent venom dripping on my face, while my beloved wife is forced to stand silently and collect the venom in a bowl, that is the kindness of the gods, to condemn her to this life, so i have a short while where i am not in excruciating pain”

“Wow i honestly don't know what to say! The way they treated you was truly brutal. Thank you for sharing your story, confronting such painful memories can’t of been easy” Fliberwitz said as the venom reached the brim of the bowl, and began to trickle down once more.

“It looks like our session is about over, thank you Doctor Fliberwitz, i will see you soon”

“Goodbye Loki, thank you once again for your story” Fliberwitz began to leave as he left he thought he heard Loki say something, but as he turned to look back, the screaming began.

He began to make the long journey back up out of the earth his head was spinning, where the gods really such cruel villainous entities? Was Loki just a poor being lashing out after being treated unjustly for longer than humanity has existed? He felt sick at the idea, the further he got up the stairs the more he thought about it and the worse he felt, his palms started becoming sweaty, his heart was racing, his head was pounding. As he approached the exit, a wave of nausea hit. He felt his lunch come up, the world was spinning he tried to use the wall to help him make it the last few steps, which were already dangerously slippery without the vomit. As his foot hit the step, another wave of nausea hit, stronger than he had ever felt. With a short scream, he slipped and fell, the scream was short-lived, as his head cracked on a step, but momentum kept his body going, all the way to the bottom, to the chamber where Loki lay bound.

Loki smiled, his plan for vengeance against the gods could begin, his body may be chained but his mind was not, and now he had the perfect puppet.

[veliseraptor]

Current WIP Excerpts

inspired by @gaslightgallows​, because I am vain and love validation, have a line from each of my current WIPs. with a few exceptions.

there are A Lot.

Life In Reverse

Thanos stood before them, titan in truth as well as name. Loki’s heart jumped into his throat and his thoughts briefly flashed to a shattered world, fingers tearing through his mind, screaming as his being was turned inside out. Fear froze him in place, instinctive, animal. 

REMEMBER THIS COLD

Costume Porn: what it says, seriously. (Steve/Loki.)

Masquerade: Steve attends a costume ball. So does Loki.

Steve shifted nervously. “How did you know?”

“Body language,” Tony said simply. “You keep staring at him. Not that I can blame you. Guy looks unfairly good in a suit.”

“Why, thank you,” Loki said. Tony jumped, and then scowled a little.

the hills on fire for miles: The Thor: Ragnarok fic for RTC.

The woman standing in front of them was just barely illuminated by the early dawn light, but it was enough: she was hopelessly striking, lips quirked in a very faint and unpleasant smile, her eyes glittering coldly, looking from Steve to Loki.

“And you,” she said to him, “must be the youngest whelp. The failure. Which makes you…” she looked at Steve. “What does that make you?” 

Attempt #432: Someone asked for the AU where one of Doom’s Loki-clones survived. It’s gonna be bad, folks.

His first memory was a silver mask with rectangles for eyes and mouth, looking down at him. “Attempt four-hundred and thirty-two,” it said, “success.”

MCU

Into the Valley of Death Rode the Six Hundred: The “Loki wins” fic where he gloats at Steve in his spare time and then ends up fighting a war on three fronts and actually asking for help with one of them.

Steve opened his eyes to find a hand over his mouth and the strong iron smell of blood filling his nose. He sucked in a sharp breath, heart hammering into motion. “Open your mouth to cry out and I will take your tongue before you can make a sound.” Loki’s voice was low and soft, but there was something ragged and breathless there as well. “Nod if you understand.”

Strange Bedfellows: The “Clint and Loki are captured and undergo TERRIBLE SUFFERING and bond, sort of” fic. Hey, people do it for Tony/Loki I don’t see why I can’t go with it my way.

Clint Barton had observed that missions tended to go wrong in one of two ways. Either it was a gradual stacking up of problems that inevitably led to total collapse no matter how hard you tried to hold on, or it was the kind of thing where you were standing in the middle of the building and the roof fell on you.

The Priesthood of Natasha Romanov: The one where Loki declares Natasha his High Priestess. She’s not really into it, though.

She tried to tell Thor about her encounter with Loki in Berlin, but the minute she got out an “I saw” her throat closed up and then she was talking about the Berlin Art Museum with some enthusiasm, despite the fact that she hadn’t gone. A few circuitous routes met with no more success, and even hints appeared to be impossible. Whatever magic fuckery Loki had worked on her, it was thorough. 

important gangbang fic: Important Gangbang Fic.

The best thing about dropping in on Alfish parties was that by the time he arrived, most were too drunk to recognize him, or else too distracted to care.

so when the birds fly South: Loki gets beat up and Steve is the one to find him and I have no idea where this is going.

After months, months of thinking he’d been saved by that missile through the portal (irony of ironies) and then months more after he’d learned he had been mistaken, they’d run him to ground. He could run no further. Only turn and fight, and barely that, so little left in him.

Tear My Castle Down: The “Loki’s punishment is to be a slave to one of the Avengers but this time it’s Steve” fic.

Loki was shaking and pale, one hand braced on the doorframe, the other pulling at his collar, his chest heaving. Steve froze, mouth opening, and Loki half fell, grabbing his arm. “Captain,” he said, teeth chattering. “You need – you need to-”

which carries weight and always weighs the same: My Romanoff Big Bang fic, which is going to be a lot of “Natasha having interpersonal relationships” because I have interests.

Her training would have dictated that she fight until her last breath. That cornered, weaponless, and bleeding, she would go on fighting. Her training had told her they will try to seduce you, to steal your loyalties with grand promises. These are all lies. Of course, by the time Agent Clint Barton had her backed into a blind alley with nowhere to go, her loyalties were already for sale and she didn’t believe in anyone’s promises.

Subordination: Loki acquires his first dom, Sjofn. Shit is fun. Until it isn’t.

But he was a little tipsy, and a lot curious, and the way Sjofn was looking at him as though she wanted to devour him was making his whole body feel hot. Loki had lain with his fair share of women – and others – but feeling quite so pursued…that was new.

Just a Shadow Upon These Walls: Steve starts seeing a ghost. Steve starts seeing a ghost that is Loki. Things get weirder from there.

When Thor had left, Steve found a chair and sank down into it. Loki has been dead for almost two years. A day ago, Loki had been standing in Steve’s kitchen. How did he die? Steve should have asked, but he couldn’t have asked the question did he still have his eyes, couldn’t ask Thor that about his younger brother. His dead younger brother.

post Svartalfheim AU: depressed Loki goes to earth after TDW, starts running into Steve randomly, somehow this becomes Steve/Loki?? idk what

When Loki woke up, the first thing he felt was anger. It burned, sharp and fierce, because he had been cheated; he had died well, he had died loved, with Thor looking at him with something so much like care it had hurt worse than the wound in his chest. And once again, death spit him out, making a mockery of him. Of everything.

Thunderstorms: The sequel to “there’s a hell of a good universe next door” where Thor arrives.

“Steve,” Loki said, not looking away from Coulson, and then went on. “I could have slipped away from your clumsy trap at any time, or had your men fighting amongst themselves in the blink of an eye, or any number of more creative solutions. I could kill you with my bare hands right here, in this room, in – say – five seconds, perhaps less. I could probably even, if I had a mind, undermine your government until it fell to pieces.”

Steve made a faintly strangled sound that Loki ignored. “As you can see,” Loki said, sounding almost conversational, “I have not. And will not. I have little to no interest in involving myself in human politics. Unless I am mistaken, until today, you were unaware that I was here at all. It would be ideal for everyone if you chose to return to that state of affairs.”

forgive the children we once were: Bucky, who freed himself substantially earlier from Hydra’s control (during The Avengers), finds Loki, wounded and near death, after the events of Thor 2. Shenanigans ensue.

The stranger was still alive when Bucky got him into the apartment, though he looked like shit and Bucky had to hold his hand about an inch above his mouth to feel any breathing. Stupid, he thought. Gun's in the bedside table, just take care of it and dump the body. He half twitched toward the bedside table, but stopped at that. He still had questions. Dead bodies drew attention.

Sword Age, Wolf Age: the Ragnarok fic where things go a little differently when Thor comes back to Asgard.

“I have just saved your life and freed you and you would speak of what I owe you,” Loki said, starting away through the woods. “Such is the gratitude of the House of Odin.”

Someone to Watch Over You: Loki decides Steve needs a guardian angel. He doesn’t ask Steve about it. He also doesn’t expect to get labeled a sidekick.

Captain Steve Rogers, Loki had decided, was trying to get himself killed.

I’ll pull the devil down with me, one way or another: Thanos is coming. Loki doesn’t intend to take that lying down.

He stumbled out into Sanctuary, almost falling to his knees, and pried his hands away from the cube. His joints throbbed with the ache of the power filling him almost to bursting. He looked at it, glowing blue with swirls of light inside, and swallowed hard.

If this goes wrong, all the worlds will burn and it will be your fault.

keep your heart (close to the ground): the AU where Loki never invades, so the Avengers never form, and a depressed Steve and depressed Loki meet.

Lukas was leaning against the doorframe, one arm wrapped around his middle, blood covering half his face and dripping off his fingers. He smiled and there was blood on his teeth. “Hello,” he said. “Good. You still live here,” and listed forward. Steve, his thoughts spinning, caught him reflexively.

time may change me (but you can’t trace time): the fic where Loki tries to steal the Time Stone and gets stuck in a time loops. For some reason, it resets every time Steve dies.

“What did you do?” Rogers demanded.

“I have no idea,” Loki said. He was sitting in the sand and staring up at the sky, going over everything that had happened before this had started – everything he knew about the Time Stone and what it could do. He wasn’t getting anywhere.

Seams and Scars: Loki arrives on Midgard with his lips sewn shut.

Clint thought for sure he was going to die when he was slammed against the wall and those washed out, grey-green eyes met his. Clint’s eyes fixed on those gruesome black lines trickling blood. Stitches, he realized. He could see the knots. See the notch of a scar where one had torn through.

Who the hell does that? He remembered thinking, which was the last thought of his own he had before he set the spear to Clint’s heart and remade him in his image.

our history is coming to life again: The fic where a young Loki gets transplanted forward in time to post-The Dark World Earth. Things are not exactly going well for him.

“What happened,” Cap said, his voice tense.

“I’m dead, aren’t I,” was what came out of Loki’s mouth. And then he had to laugh, because obviously he wasn’t, he couldn’t be saying he was dead if he was dead, so he corrected, “was. I suppose.”

Temptation: Loki has a Steve problem.

Well, Loki thought. Well. It seemed his little problem was not solved after all. In fact, if anything, it was made worse. If he was going to imagine fucking Rogers every time he was trying to fight him-

Loki growled to himself. Damn him. Damn him and his beautiful eyelashes and beautiful eyes and sinfully beautiful mouth.

I know I’m the curséd one: Wanda and Loki, imprisoned for their magic, have to work together to escape.

He would not give in. Not to these. Not ever.

He would go mad (madder) first.

finding yourself at the end of the universe: The fic where Loki springs Steve from prison post Civil War, mostly out of spite, and they go on a dysfunctional road trip across space.

“Well,” said the last voice Steve had expected to hear. “That’s interesting.”

Steve’s eyes widened and he stared at Loki, struck dumb. Loki’s eyebrows quirked, gaze sweeping up and down. “Now why,” he murmured, “would they be keeping you down here with me? Have you been bad, Captain Rogers?”

Meet the Parents: Loki meets Sarah Rogers in the Roommates!AU.

“Offend her?” Steve’s eyebrows went up. “Why would you offend her?”

“Well,” Loki said, and stopped, searching for a diplomatic way to say I’m an addict, an asshole, and a bad influence without saying those precise words.

The Cold, the Dark, the Silence: It’s whump. That’s basically it.

His body was starting to fail. Loki could tell the signs of it in the way his hands shook, the chills that swept through him periodically. His healing had already been strained to the breaking point by his near death on Svartalfheim. Without food, with barely any water, the punishment his captors doled out in seemingly growing frustration was taking a toll.

the first steps stumbling forward: On Earth post-Ragnarok, Steve takes up secretly helping Asgardian refugees. There’s a familiar face among them.

“Thor said you were dead,” Rogers said.

“Thor is occasionally wrong about things,” Loki said. He didn’t particularly want to explain I was, sort of, but then I wasn’t, and then I took over Asgard and pretended to be my father for three years, which was actually very nice while it lasted.

escalated almost to an art: Yet another very dirty Loki/Grandmaster fic, where the Grandmaster experiments with drugging Loki in a variety of fun ways.

“You and me,” the Grandmaster said, reaching out and brushing his fingers along Loki’s jaw. “We’re going to have so much fun, aren’t we?”

Loki wished that didn’t sound so much like a threat.

He wished the fact that it did didn’t send a thrill down his spine.

Another Fall: Loki falls from Asgard into Hela’s prison.

“Interesting,” she said. She crouched down. “Where did you come from? The old fool sealed this place unfortunately well.” Loki coughed and choked. Her nose wrinkled. “I suppose if I want to get anything out of you I’ll need to fix you first.”

NOT MCU

Darkness, Darkness: The Morgana/Gwen fic set in “The Dark Tower.”

You should have trusted me, she thinks bitterly, as Gwen’s screams turn into sobs and Morgana’s own eyes sting. I loved you, Gwen. I loved you so much.

There’s a Lesson Here, I Just Don’t Know What It Is Yet: Still need to finish this Natasha/Yelena fic, still kicking myself over using an espionage plot, why did I do that.

“I’m on assignment,” she said blandly, rocking back on her heels, perched still too close. “And you? Still dancing for the Russian government?” Dancing. Yelena wondered if that was deliberate. After their last meeting, she’d tried learning to dance, briefly, but nothing about it had suited her.

the best all lack conviction: Fenris/Anders post Dragon Age II; they bicker, a lot, and maybe make out some too, eventually. Probably I will beat them up a lot too.

The wind blew the rain in on them again and the mage groaned, hunching his shoulders. “I hate Fereldan,” he muttered. “I truly do.”

“Perhaps you should have run to Tevinter,” Fenris said snidely. The mage gave him a baleful look but, to his surprise, did not say anything. He looked so pathetic that Fenris almost felt guilty. Almost.

Witches: Morrigan/Surana femslash fic, in which Merrin Surana would like to bang Morrigan and also become her.

She was tall as all humans were tall and carrying a staff on her back. She looked down her narrow nose at Merrin, Alistair, and the rest, air one of boredom and vague distaste. She was the most magnificent thing Merrin had ever seen.

The Interim: The fic about Morgana’s journey from dying of poison to coming back to Camelot dramatically changed and set on revenge.

She struggled to understand what was going on. To work out what had happened (he poisoned me) and what was happening now. It all hurt too much, though, and all she could do was lie there and whimper and hate how weak she felt. A cool hand pushed her hair off her brow. “It’s all right, sister. You’re safe.”

how this grace thing works: The first year at Grimglass lighthouse.

Felix up and vanished into the library the second he got the chance. He probably would’ve stayed there forever without eating if I hadn’t dragged him out sometimes for meals. He said the previous virtuer had just shoved books in wherever they fit so it’d be impossible to find anything. He dithered over a lot of ways of organizing them before settling on category and author, and then he’d mutter to himself about what category this book or that one really belonged in.

[sidrisa-blog]

Power and Magic

Pairings: Loki x Reader and the lightest Sif X Thor

Chapter: 8/104 Easier

Warnings: the usual: sex, death, and violence with light smatterings of misogynoir

Summary: The princes come with their exalted Father arriving amidst a hail of pomp and pageantry all parties would rather forgo. This is war, where men die, their blood purchasing land and peace until it’s time for more men and more blood. But your mother adheres to the old rules of hearth and hospitality. The Lords of Asgard must be given their due despite the grim business precipitating their arrival. It is too bad they don’t deserve it. There is nothing to recommend him, Loki, Prince of Asgard. He is rude and cold and childish. You try to find some merit in him. You find none. Exactly none. But maybe, after trial and tribulation,

You will.

You close your book, the fifth one from Loki in as many nights. He’s brought more now that he’s reading for two. Some are picture books, most are in fact, the strength in your arm improves as you throw them back at him, cursing him and asking him for a real one which he always provides.

But today you are tired of reading.

You make no small talk with your nurses who come to care for you. You’re silent as they take assessments, check your temperature, make sure the ewer of water by your bed is full and your linens are clean.

You stare beyond them. Ignoring the food they bring you. Watery porridge. Maybe this time it’ll have barely instead of oat. They feed you like a horse you realize. Either Loki’s making another joke or Lady Frigga doesn’t think you’re well enough for food with more substance.

You stare at the large window on the far side of your room. Snow is on the sill, melting slowly in the sun’s glare. You feel cold despite your blankets and the roaring fireplace.

You miss the sun, the open sky, wind. You miss your horse and the heft of your halberd in your hand. You missed running trails on Cephalus, and conducting drills with the Cavalry.

You miss your home. You want to go home.

Loki’s left your uncle’s letter by your nightstand. He is silent when he places it there, avoiding your eyes, putting just outside of easy reach. So you’ll have to stretch for it. So you’ll consider how much it’ll make you hurt to read it.

That’s why it sat, the broken seal of your house--a rearing horse--taunting you as you can just make out the neat script of your uncle. You weren’t ready to hurt yet.

You still aren’t.

But you’re so desperate for a touch of home, even if it stings.

You read the letter and a new emotion settles in your chest--a dragon come to roost in your heart.

Anger.

But the leadership of the land has spoken. My sister was a tyrant and her daughter has all the hallmarks of following in her footsteps. I wanted a bloodless changing of the guard, my niece and her supporters prevented that.

“You filthy LIAR!”

In your rage, you tear the sheets off your bed, rip and throw your pillows. You shatter your water pitcher against a wall and you are proud you can throw that far. You reach for something else unable to do anything but destroy what’s in your reach. You pick up a book, the pages flutter. You want to rip them out, rip them up. You could. You want to but you don’t. Because these were gifts.

So instead of tearing your books apart, your actions tear your body apart--exertion ripping open one of your scars.

And you bleed.

That’s how he finds you, you and your room a ruined mess.

“What is this! Horse girl what have you done? Here, let me see.”

He reaches for the wound across your belly. There’s magic in his hands to heal it but you seize his wrists before he can touch you. “Leave it.”

“Unhand me wretch before you bleed all over me and the carpets! My mother would have my head if she found out I let you exsanguinate in our guestrooms.”

He passes his hand over your scar, your injury sealing up. It re-stitches and it is a nasty purple and deep red, noticable even against your darker hued skin.

You watch him the entire time, the concentration on his face, the slight quirk of his lips that doesn’t quite tilt enough to be a smirk. He looks fascinated with the way his magic knits your skin--a child with a toy that hasn’t grown tiresome yet. Everything about him makes him seem like a jagged spear of ice. The severe cut of his cheekbones, the cool stare in cool green eyes. His lips are pale as is his skin, with hair that looks like the darkest, coldest parts of midnight. You’re surprised, then when his hand is warm on your flesh.

You shiver and he mistakes it for a wince.

“If you stop squirming it will hurt less.”

He makes his touch gentler as he curls his hand around the wound to finish repairing it. The magic feels good, warm. That it's coming from Loki makes it hard to fathom. Makes him hard to fathom. Why would he spare you anything at all?

“The nurses tell me you assisted your mother when I was first brought here. Why?”

“Mother’s orders.” He mutters.

You are soft. He thinks your skin is soft. So soft he can't stop the errant slide of his thumb across your newly knit scar.

“Speaking of mothers, I didn’t think yours a tyrant you know.” He pulls away from you completely and rises. “A fool maybe, but no tyrant.”

You don't let him get far, you seize his wrist and hold. “Will Lord Odin send me back? You know if he does I’m as good as dead.”

Your hand is a distraction. Your damnable softness is a distraction. He pulls away harshly. “Oh I know.”

You’re cold when he makes you let him go.  “That would please you wouldn’t it? Me going back or dying. Ragnarok would come for me first and you get to win your stupid bet.”

He doesn’t answer right away. He can’t. Neither the affirmative nor the negative answer feel right. He deflects.

“You think Lord Odin cares? Whether you live or die has nothing to do with him. The enemy is defeated and everything else is internal politics. Does it threaten Asgard or her stability? No?”

Loki makes a dismissive gesture with his hands. “Then he doesn’t care. And neither do I.”

“I will make him care.” You swear with iron conviction that brings a smirk to the prince’s lips.

“You?” Scorn saturates, drips, from his words. “You can barely walk. Hel you can barely throw a proper tantrum. You’d have better luck persuading the sun not to rise or for Heimdall to shut his eyes.”

He’s right. If Lord Odin cared about your life or your birthright he’d have an army at the gates of your capital by now. Loki confirms what you knew but chose to ignore, holding onto hope that it wouldn’t prove true. That you are alone, friendless, and weak.

“Shut up!”

This is better. He likes you better this way, angry and foolish. You're easier, he thinks, to comprehend when you're screaming at him. He can deal with anger and derision and sarcasm. Those emotions are more familiar to him, recognizable, manageable. He meets anger with sarcasm, derision with disregard and sarcasm with simply more sarcasm. He doesn’t know then, how to handle the utter confusion that took hold of him just moments before when he liked the feeling of your skin under his hands.

“Hard truth isn’t it princess? To know you’re never getting your kingdom back.”

“Shut up Loki Odinson or I swear--”

“Going to ‘geld my gilded tongue’?”

“And then some.” You growl.

This is easier too. To be angry. To focus your directionless rage onto the closest, easiest target. That way you don't have to think about how goodhis hands felt. Or remember how long it's been since someone's touched you like that.

Loki stands a few paces away from your bed. “Come on then. Here, I’ll help you.” He opens his hand and reveals a dagger. “Come take this from me and make good on your promise. Make me care little princess.”

“That’s mine!” Your father’s dagger! “Where did you find it!”

“That Hava woman thought enough to pack away the family silver when you fled. This was among those treasures.”

“Return it to me! Now! You snake!”

“Come take it, horse girl!”

“It is mine!”

“Then come take it! Why should anything be just handed back to you because you own it? How can you call anything ‘yours’ if you can’t defend it? Not this dagger, and certainly not your bloody kingdom!”

He goes too far! Too bloody far!

You lurch forward from your bed and onto your feet. You knees wobble but you remain upright, propelled forward by the dragonfire in your chest.

“I will bleed you dry Odinson!”

You move one step, then two. Loki observes you, the smirk curling higher on his lips. “You walk like a newborn foal. But that’s to be expected isn’t it?”

He laughs when you scream, reaching your arms for the dagger held extended towards you, taunting you. But you get within reach, one more step and you’ll have him and your father’s heirloom.

You take it.

But Loki takes a step back.

His sudden movement unbalances you and you fall forward, the foal crashing back to her knees.

He clucks his tongue. “Shame. You were so close.”

“You cheated Liesmith!”

“Life’s not fair little princess.”

“Don’t call me that!”

He tucks the dagger into the folds of his leather armor, chuckling at you as you crawl, dragging your near useless legs behind you. “I’ll continue to hang onto this for you. Consider it incentive to get the foal on her feet again.”

You stop struggling to stare at him. “You’re going to leave me like this?”

“Give me a reason not to.”

You scream, frustration making your skin hotter than a furnace even on the icy marble tile. But Loki looks at you, nonchalant, waiting for his reason.

You can’t will your legs to work, forcing this will see you bedridden for longer but...you try something different.

“Your mother will kill you if she finds out about this.”

Loki blinks, the smirk in his face flattens as he considers this, finding you not far from the mark. Frigga wouldn’t kill him outright, she might come close for something as egregious as this. But more than that, it’d disappoint her, which might as well kill him.

“Well, when you’re right,” He crouches before you and rips the tangled sheets away from you. He wraps one arm around your shoulders, the other he tucks under your knees. He then lifts and you come off the ground easy, lighter than air.

When you met him back home, you figured you could best him in a fight. He’s leaner than his brother, smaller in about every way. Weaker. You realize now, how wrong you were, whatever he lacked in size, he made up for in density. He’s all wire and lank but that wire and lank could crush you with a light squeeze.

“Oh,” is all the noise you can make when lifts you effortlessly from the floor. Holding you, like princess. He smells like leather and the oil polish that keeps it black and shiny. He smells like icy winter air and petrichor-- the smell of fresh rain striking stone.

“At least you’re not as heavy as a horse, despite the look.”

You’re not, he thinks. You’re bony, practically a skeleton. He knows you’re still weak but you could probably regain your strength faster if they fed you more than barley porridge. He’ll see to it that you are.

“I have a name.”

“I know. But I like mine.”

“I’m not a horse. And I want my dagger back!”

“Excuse me? My dagger?”

“You mean mine. ”

“Oh I meant what I said. It’s mine until you can take it--”

You shift in his arms, you have to keep one wrapped around his shoulder to steady you but the other is free to work. Since you’re so close, it doesn’t take much to reach for him, pressing your soft! hand to his chest and waist before finding your dagger in a breast pocket. You pull it free and close your hand around it like a vault lest he try to take it from you again.

“Clever.” Is all he can say, surprised he managed to find even that word.

You are no great beauty, he thinks with you so close. The Lady Sif or pretty much any of the court’s noblewomen could best you in looks. He thinks your face is statuesque, not for any feat of Divine Craft, but because you remind him of stone. You have a warrior’s mein, focused and sharp, but you don't possess Thor’s softheaded lust for battle.

Plain faced as you are, you have a cunning about you that amuses him. Leveraging your momentary weakness into a strength, you took your dagger from him unawares.

“Since I am at your mercy. Can I ask a favor?”

“Of course, whatever favor you neigh at me though, I’m not obliged to grant it. In our ledger you still owe me.“

You scoff and roll your eyes, you’re sure that whatever this ledger is, it will remain unbalanced. “Will you take me to the window?”

Loki complies with a heavy sigh, as though you asked for something far more laborious than a trip five steps to the left. The window has a cushioned sill, perfect for midday naps in the sunlight with a book, or sitting comfortably observing the martial practice fields below.

He drops you, rudely. It jars your bones a bit, but you're unhurt.

“Next time drop me from a little less height.”

“I'm a prince of Asgard not your beast of burden!”

It’s night, clear and cold, ice frosting just on the other side of the glass. But oh! The moons are full and the stars dust the sky like salt spilled on a black table cloth. You gasp softly, your palace is amidst great trees, the sky obscured by a canopy the Sages say are older than Ygdrassil and far more lovely. But you love the sky, night or day, sunshine or stormy so this...is the first true comfort you've had since waking.

“Thank you,” you breathe and it sounds like true gratitude.

Loki pauses, forced to admit he was wrong again about you. You are no great beauty only because you bury it deep, revealed only in the grooves and wrinkles of your smile.

“You're welcome.” He answers you, the sentiment genuine.