#to be fair this has been a lot faster than usual especially since i realized i forgot to shower at like 10 pm so i stopped to do that

[beaulesbian]

[egghead spoilers, up to chapter 1110]

Sanji's humanity & Zoro's strength

(or lack thereof) - a theory of possible conflict between Luffy's wings before the end of Egghead arc. Long post ahead. Like.. very long post.

So the new chapter had a very interesting new "banter" between Sanji and Zoro, but no, actually just Sanji, because there was no usual back and forth quips followed after.

Yes, this whole post started because of these few panels: (" ...!!")

After rereading the chapter more times I realized, Sanji's not even speaking to Zoro or knows that Zoro can hear him. He's talking about Zoro, and calling him a burden to the team.

Which is just baffling to me? (fair, maybe I'm looking too much into it and next chapter it would be explained in different way) but for now, I need to put this out there and make my own small (long) theory on this.

There's lot to be said about the word burden here, and I will get to it later in the post, but for now, let's start with Sanji and his eyebrow!

It wouldn't be a perfect story if Oda didn't tangle threads of each respective characters from multiple arcs before and brought them up together later on during one of the most difficult times when Strawhats and Luffy are facing off with so much danger (reminds me of Sabaody but in a very different way).

In this instance Sanji's past could be brought up again, something that started worrying him since his fight with Queen in Wano, and especially given that his left eyebrow has been changing its shape quite a lot during the run of the Egghead arc.

Here's just few panels throughout end of Wano up to current Egghead chapter, where Sanji' left eyebrow is in the focus on the pages:

Chapter 1029 was the first part where Sanji was thinking his body might be undergoing some changes he couldn't control -broken bones insantly healed, stronger and faster than ever before, due to him beforehand using the Germa suit which possibly triggered this sort of superhuman modification he wasn't really aware of until then. When he realized he couldn't remember certain memories, he panicked, thinking he might be changing into something similar like his brothers, a scientific weapon created by his father. The worry and panic was all the more present because he thought he hurt someone without his knowing, and that'd slowly take away his kindness and sense of humanity. (Too bad I hoped the changes his body might be undergoing would only be realization of his non-cis gender status, but maybe that's still on the table for sometime in the future.):

^In this second panel his face is on purpose shadowed, which was the last time he was shown in that chapter,

and only again was in chapter 1031 - where his eyebrow changed:

and it takes him to think about Luffy and what his purpose would be if something so important of him would change. He knows why Luffy went after him in WCI, he knows what values are important for Luffy and his crew, and of course he doesn't want to be reminded of his family and his brothers and act as they did. He chooses the humanity, the kindness that Luffy loves in him.

Even to the extent to call Zoro and make a deal with him - to kill Sanji if anything would go wrong with him. "If I'm not in my right mind, I want you to kill me." That much trust he has in Zoro to protect the crew and Luffy!

Of course Zoro wouldn't do anything reckless without a good reason, but part of their banter and understanding each other would be to promise something like that - echo of Thriller Bark and the range of how far Zoro would go to take on someone elses pain. It's a promise to win their separate fights, but also this was something that Sanji put out there for Zoro to take notice of. (I will come back to that later.):

(still the "bad eyebrow" - he had that the whole chapter 1031).

After his fight with Queen (where it was also cleared what his actions were and weren't), he was only shown two times until he woke up, and both times he had his eyebrow back on good side.

1036 & 1044 (hearing Luffy awaken his powers):

All the way up to Egghead he seemed to have his eyebrow drawn this way, and it started to change only during fights -

ch 1075, still good eyebrow, tho.. ehh this behavior.. whatever:

ch. 1078, protecting his crew from Seraphim, bad eyebrow:

in between chapters 1090 - 1105 (most of which were flashbacks and Sanji nor Strawhats were shown) he appeared with his typical eyebrow:

and it changed again in ch 1107 - when he was again protecting Bonney / fighting against Kizaru:

interesting was chapter 1108 where he's standing between Saturn and Vegapunk, and he's describing Saturn with "he's less and less human by the minute" while his own face was obscured, (I mean.. interesting choice of words and what character said it, huh?):

and the next page he still has the bad eyebrow:

in chapter 1109 it's back on his typical side, where it continues from previous chapter of Sanji carrying Vegapunk- so at some point it must have shifted back (and I'm curious if these changes would be noticable in the animation). At this part he's watching how Saturn is summoning the other Gorosei to Egghead:

Which leads me to the point from above with Zoro.

chapter 1110 and their interactions (for me) was just off. I like their usual banter and bickering, it's funny (if it's in the manga and contained to few panels to make sense, not so much in the anime, but i'm not going into that now), but the thing to call anyone of their crew a "burden" just doesn't fit right. (Especially after WCI... c'mon Sanji, and especially to someone like Zoro, who's always the first one to think about the crew.)

I would understand it if he laughed along with the words to elevate their seriousness, or said something like "Finish it up, Mosshead, we need to get moving." but no. He calls him a burden. And again as I mentioned, it pretty much could have been even Sanji not realizing Zoro can hear that.

These words (in my opinion) were chosen on purpose for multiple reasons:

First we have the Zoro vs Lucci fight that goes on for a while in the real world - in the One Piece world it might be just few minutes - plus we don't know how tough were the fights with the Seraphim which let others be injured.

When Lucci attacked, Zoro immediately thrown himself with him away from the rest of the crew. Zoro was possibly stalling with the fight for time to leave. I feel he could have finished that fight earlier but that wasn't the point. The point might have been to hold him back from his crew.

also this was possibly the only fight after King where Zoro could test the limits of his powers and haki, just like Luffy in the Udon prison in Wano was basically training, this (and the Seraphim fights we haven't seen) could be something similar for Zoro.

Some people think that just because of these characters getting new powers it means they already understand how to use them/how it works, but that's usually not the point of how stories go - there can be progress and there can be setbacks, growing up but also falling back down, which makes the stories more interesting.

The words that Lucci used against Zoro were basically the same thing that Sanji said to Zoro few chapters later:

Amongst them he pointed out the Strawhats inability to cut off one of their own out of their crew to save others - like Lucci left Kaku behind just chapters before this fight when he attacked Vegapunk and Stussy (and Sanji trapped Kaku in the bubble prison). It's a play on very different characters and how they think and act to show clearly how they different they are.

The words burden or dead-weight really stood out, already when Lucci said it in chapter 1107, and the fact that they were targetting Zoro - someone who always blames himself (in his mind, not usually out loud) for not being strong enough, and someone who always has protecting his crew at the first place, was interesting in the connection to Sanji repeating basically the same words in the latest chapter.

I will probably make a different separate post only focusing on Zoro and his fear of being weak, but for the purposes of this post, just to pick a few moments where it's important in the manga:

One of the first time I've noticed how much Zoro keeps berating himself with words like "not strong enough" "too lax" "still too soft" "if I'd been stronger/ faster/ better..."

was just after Little Garden arc, where he almost cut off his ankles just to keep fighting. Time after time the crew encounters strong enemies and Zoro gets a new understanding how far up is the limit that he has to reach to keep the crew safe, so he keeps training. ch. 129:

When Luffy went to fight Crocodile and Zoro was worried and kept training on the way to Alubarna, this banter between Sanji and Zoro felt typical between them - it's about the two way street, the back and forth (that's why that new chapter and insult from Sanji feels so foreign, there's no reply, not quip back - only silence and some sort of determination, which isn't good nor bad, just.. weird.) ch. 179:

and after the final fight of Alabasta, possibly one of the first times I really started paying attention to how much it gets to Zoro, this question of how strong he needs to be. (along with what possibly was one of the first introduction of his haki and how he began training the Observation haki, disguised as meditation in the terms of the early manga) ch. 213:

Thriller Bark was one of the biggest arcs in this sense of Zoro and his protectiveness towards the crew and Sanji knows that - he knows what happened there, he even wanted to sacrifice himself in stead of Zoro for Luffy (but this is beside the point here, and I talked about it in other post before).

Zoro took on himself Luffy's pain, and after that arc he still went right to train as soon as he could despite being still injured, ch. 490. "still too weak!"

which goes through to Sabaody arc.

Chapter 510 until the end of that arc is just painful to go through again. Luffy was worried for Zoro and didn't know the scope of his injuries, while Sanji knew and was concerned in his own way too - that is another thing of how they care, sometimes wordlessly but there is that understanding of what to mention or not. ("Burden" still shouldn't be one of the words to use between them, not that far into the story.)

Now - fast forward to Punk Hazard where one of similar moments played out - Zoro telling Luffy not to goof around because they got in the New world and needed to take things seriously.

It was one of those small moments where Sanji was actually one of the few people shown with reaction to Zoro's words and his urgency, ch 678:

Sanji saying "He's so tough on himself" really puts into perspective how he sees Zoro - he knows what he's been through, and knows to what extremes he's willing to go to protect his crew.

He's definitely not someone who would carelessly call Zoro "a burden" even in the time and place and situation they found themselves on Egghead, if anything, he was supposed to be one of the first ones to know how serious is Zoro always about protecting the crew. (Even in the beginning of Egghead, Zoro stayed at first on the Sunny because "who will save them when they will need saving.")

There's few others scenes and parts where Zoro questions his worth and strength, especially in later Wano, calculating what needs to be done so they have strength to face off with Kaido, ch 980:

and later against King, ch 1033 "it was my strength that was lacking!" while unlocking his Conqueror's haki, still unknowingly:

The fact that it's been happening pretty much since the beginning of the story - how Zoro views himself as not strong enough, yet persisting in always getting stronger and protecting his crew - means so much for what character Zoro is and how much he values and loves his crew (just like all the other Strawhats in different ways), and also, as I've been catching up so quickly with the manga, there's been that hope for some call out of this behavior, to poke it where it hurts, to see what would happen if someone turns those words Zoro possibly feels in his mind against him out loud. And that's kind of what's been happening lately - and I'm curious what impact will this have on both Zoro personally and on the other Strawhats, depending who will be around for the conclusion.

Zoro is one of the few strawhats really thinking about the future, plans and what they need to still fight through, carefully calculating what his opponents might be doing, how strong they are and how much of a problem it would be to go through them.

And Sanji normally understands that, he knows how Zoro works and the other way around, that's why he still protected him when Zoro was injured, (if anything, in this moment Zoro could have been something like hinderance or annoyance to Sanji, yet he never said something like that), ch. 1015:

Even on Egghead, where there was temporary truce with Lucci and Kaku, Zoro pointed out how to recognize the Seraphim's weaknesses, and apologized for 'wasting their stamina' - again, calculating on his strength, ch. 1077:

Zoro isn't just fighting for the sake of a fight, he does have his dream and does know what's important to focus on (he himself always keeps the crew in focus when it's important!)

So it's difficult to have a conclusion about the whole Zoro vs Lucci fight without knowing what is Zoro thinking - hopefully in next chapter we will have more info on it (that is number 1111 - Zoro's birthday and bounty! so I hope it will be a big focus on Zoro again). But even beside that, it was obvious in such short time two people around him suddenly called him a burden to his team - something he takes very close to his heart and mind, something that will hopefully have some consequences for us to see and read, because as Oda is choosing words definitely carefully to have the right impact, two very similar words like "burden" don't seem like a coincidence.

To wrap this up - with Sanji telling this to Zoro felt different than their usuall banter, and as I said before - maybe because Sanji wasn't even speaking to Zoro. At the same time, on Wano Sanji gave Zoro a clue that somehting was happening with him, the fact that there was a panel with just Zoro's ear twitching and then being silent, thinking, and not replying to Sanji with anything that would hint to us about his state of mind, and it could mean he's also aware of some difference in Sanji's acting.

The way he says this reminds me of the what Sanji was thinking during his fight with Queen - "what would be more useful to Luffy, regular flesh-and-blood body? Or a cruel, cold emotionless warrior of science." Even for this small part of seeing him speak with Jimbei and hearing what Zoro was up to until then, he speaks without almost any emotions beside anger? Even with his eyebrow not indicating the change, precisely, it doesn't have to be connected in this way, except physical fights, but there could be something still changing within Sanji to make him act this way, a way that really isn't something we've seen before. I think if in next chapters he speaks to Nami, Robin or some other woman without his typical over-the-top pleasanteries, it could indicate how much of a problem this could be for the Strawhats.

So we have Sanji's need to stay human and kind, the pact created with Zoro to kill him if anything felt wrong; and we have Zoro - someone who's biggest purpose from the beginning was to protect the crew and Luffy, while many times we've seen him question his own strength, and now two people in the span of like 5 minutes in the One Piece time are calling him a burden.

It will be interesting to see if this is heading towards a clash or conflict between Luffy's wings while Luffy needs the support to fight / flee from the Gorosei.

To end this too long post, I feel it's very on point for One Piece not to have a sole focus on just one character going through it™ in one arc, but it's always a few crumbs here and few hints there. This sort of conflict would be perfect to deal with both of Zoro and Sanji's respective fears - because this is very much about fears in their minds, while at the same time if they can resolve this, it would only strengthen their crew once again.

[fictionfixations]

i thought i was ready.

i was not.

also oh my god outis keeps just BARELY not doing enough damage to hit the stagger point like girl PLEASE 😭 just a teeny bit more

okay so

i knew about the it preventing you from using the team you used in section 1 for section 2 but you could use both in section 3 so i thought aight ill just use my main 6 not using backup but oh it needed 6 backup so i was like huh and i gave it a run then realized oh even if they arent on the field it still counts so i ran it again with the same 6 but then the other half being default ids

then made it to section 2 and oh man.

contemplating if itd be easier if i redid section 1 with my section 2 team because for section 1 i used my strongest units who i usually have as my main 6 on everything but i dont know if its worth it cause like what if i go through all that effort and then i still cant beat section 2 ????

the farthest ive gotten is wave 2 and i remember ishmael was the only one left but she corroded and obliterated me with blind obsession, didnt even realize that could happen but the dread that immediately filled me the second the turn ended and i realized oh shit shes in the form where when youre at like -45 sp and transform into a corroded version of one of your egos (i dont remember what its called)

never more has it made me hate an ego man. like dont get me wrong its frustrating when they use an ego at all because its like goddammit and theyre faster than me so aghh but i immediately know im immediately screwed over when she uses blind obsession cause that does a lot of damage

i did a run just spamming egos though ngl to deal as much damage (mainly focusing on the ones with a lot of attack weight) and i came to wave 2 with a lot of my sinners in a better shape, but er the problem with that then leads to me running low on ego resources when i get to wave 2 so whoops. but i didnt really expect to survive on that run either it was more like a doing whatever run but not taking it too seriously though it did tell me i should probably use egos more, especially for section 2

although severely doubting my ability to survive even if i make it to the third wave considering when im that far on either most of my units are dead with some remaining on very low heatlh, or oops theres just one unit left sure hope they can somehow survive

i will say these have to be my least favorite enemies. i mean section 3 looks like a nightmare but then i remember theres a good buff for that and also ill have access to my full team (yes i struggled very much on dulcinea but hey BUFFS, and my team is in a better spot)

and in all fairness. im still working on my team. i was overconfident because i finally had a team of all 12 sinners in a good spot levels wise and uptied (er minus meursault because ive been using a support id for him mainly for the other egos that are useful that i do not have)

but yeah, okay. section 2 strikes me as something id need a full team for including backups instead of just like default ids like id had before

i do have a very few amount of other ids for sinners at like lvl 40 so i still have a faust i can use even if shes underleveled by 10-15 and not fully uptied, and anyone else i hadnt used them for section 1 so i could already use their main ones for section 2

i could not find what i was looking for as a good replacement for faust in support ids, and that somehow turned into me looking at hong lu

cause i heard is fullstop office id is good (alongside heathcliff but i cant really do that duo since i dont have one or the other) and he did good damage and also happened to take the least damage and being the last survivor, the con is that theres also a full stop hong lu in section 2 so while my hong lu does good damage the other hong lu also does good damage so like man.. anyway since refraction railway 5 is about the previous canto then severely doubting my ability to beat the next one either

also kudos to that one attempt where i switched to teams #2 after i realized i should not have my backup as actual units (back in section 1 which was definitely easier but i was also using units at uptie 4. everyone else is at 3.) then realized mid battle that oh i DIDNT EQUIP MY OTHER EGOS like i was just waiting for fluid sac to fill up then realized ...theres something missing here

i switched to teams 2 though because im pretty sure if i did the change on team 1 id forget to change it back and then run that team on something else

also i dont know about you but limbus company likes to make me yap more then maybe any other post. like ive done posts while going through story of other games and those are long but thats like 7-10 hours of content to share my thoughts on, this is kinda.. not that

i will also attribute it to being like 3-4 am where i am more tired and more likely to talk a lot more

man.. since id finally caught up to the story i was planning on letting myself relax and go actually catch up on stuff from other games but i find myself spending the entire day on limbus company again....

[gayantony]

LOG OFF AND FINISJ YOUR HW ALREADY

HELLO I FINSIHED I CAN WATCH NOW

[obeymeluv]

Isnt devildom liquor weaker than human world liquor? Mc had beat Asmo in a drinking contest. How do you think it they'd act, completely hammered in the human world. I think harder liquor means stupider drunks.

Spoiler alert to the in-game MC’s “heritage” reveal. You know, the descendent/reincarnation thing. If you know, you know.

Below: Thoughts on Devildom liquor + the specific incident Nonnie is talking about with Asmo in game + THE ACTUAL ANSWER TO THE ASK. My bad, haha.

My thoughts on Devildom liquor at that point in the game:

The MC is not as affected because they are human/angel. Maybe the angel part fortifies MC and makes it harder for them to get drunk?

Maybe the HUMAN side of MC is what makes it harder for them to get drunk on Devildom liquor? Like...everything in the Devildom is made primarily for demons so maybe there are ingredients in there that specifically affect those with demon blood. Maybe humans don’t have the biology to be inebriated by those ingredients?

I am a little fuzzy on that point in the game but did Asmo pre-game? Like, a lot? Did we ever find out? I could see him being so emotionally distraught that his lovely MC is leaving that he just wants to be sloshed. Maybe he assumed MC beat him in a drinking contest because he forgot how much he already drank?

Maybe Solomon gave MC a heads up that Asmo was down for drinking and gave them a pre-game potion of their own to ward off the affects.

End hypothesis: Maybe Devildom liquor IS strong (for demons) but that potency just can’t translate in human bodies so the bros (Lucifer especially) don’t want MC drinking it because they’re not sure what it will do. They just ASSUME it will do to MC what it does to them.

Other thoughts: Because demons sprinkled little secrets to the humans over the course of history, gave them trinkets and magic and things, I’d like to think they gave humans the idea or process of alcohol-making but are TOTALLY not prepared for the end result. All the flavors, types, etc. 

As far as I understand it (at the point I’m at in the game), travel between the Devildom and human world was widely discouraged until Diavolo could make a program that united the three realms and improved the overall image. So basically everyone has been separated for thousands of years.

What if demons are equally bad at holding human world liquor? I could just see a drunk Asmo being like, “What is this? Sangria? This isn’t what I told them to call it.” as he’s trying to drink and (speed) walk away from Beel, who wants the fruit out of the pitcher.

I could just see them all getting TOTALLY wasted on human world stuff just because they thought “Ahh, we taught them this 5,000 years ago! Of COURSE we can handle it! We invented it!” (spoiler alert: they cannot). Like, I’d like to think their biology works against them here. They heal quicker and probably get over stomach aches and things quicker, so they probably metabolize alcohol quicker to restore bodily equilibrium so they probably get flash-drunk off of just about anything with a decent alcohol content. 

HOW THEY WOULD ACT (AKA: the real question)

The facts: 

They’re all going to be like drunk kittens, big bassy purrs and wanting to cuddle you or scent you. 

They’ll basically curl up in a pile together; you occasionally have to move body parts (so no one suffocates). 

Do a head count every now and then, give them some crackers/carbs when needed, and put water all around them like a summoning circle because when one of them wakes up, all of them will and they’ll act like big babies

Put a bucket near Lucifer and Asmo, they’re sympathy pukers.

Levi and Belphie need total sensory deprivation when they wake up. You may only breach the darkness to bring them things to settle their stomach and anything to kill the headache

Just give Beel bread and anything like Gatorade/Pedialite. He’ll help you with the others after three loaves or so.

Asmo will be especially pitiful and demand you take care of the others first. Once they’re decently able to take care of themselves he’s near teary-eyed, demanding tummy rubs and tell him he’s still pretty even though he feels awful. Please get him a sheet mask.

Mammon’s not functional enough to help with anything major but he’s standing the next day so he rubs that in everyone’s face. He’s the one shuffling around with a half-eaten sandwich, looking for any comfort item (heating pack, cold wrap for his head). He will demon screech at you if you touch any of the lights in the house.

As Mammon comes to, he demands dim lights and acts like a grumpy mom. He’s making porridge and they better shut up and eat it. Says it’s for him but there’s a suspicious amount of bowls nearby.

Satan just swears he’ll never drink again (like always). Dutifully waits for porridge. Spends most of his time letting cold water run over his head. Can’t spend too much time hunched over because he gets nauseous. Baby him a little. Find a way to let his head float in a bit of water where he can lay down and he’s as quiet as a mouse. 

Who can drink the most? (Best to worst - my opinions only)

1) Beel (body mass helps), 2) Mammon (party king), 3) Asmodeus (huuuge history with mixed drinks. Boy is READY), 4) Lucifer, 5) Satan (neck and neck with Lucifer - casual drinker only. Even wine is rare for him), 6) Leviathan, 7) Belphie (usually sleeping instead of drinking). 

Lucifer:

We’ve seen little gags about how ‘Lucifer got drunk and unplugged the router’ so this guy’s either going to be super cuddly, a hot mess, or both

You know the people who fluff their hair, comb it back, undo a tie or some buttons and just get comfy as they drink? That’s Lucifer.

He’ll smile a bit more, laugh a bit more, and there will be some color to his cheeks

He’s not sloppy, just cozy. 

Drunk Lucifer is not overly loud but he is honest. He won’t throw himself into groups or pester all the brothers, but he’s up for some accidentally-heartwarming one-on-one

When he’s drunk he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and let you play with his hair

Will not win any drinking games. Is actually a lightweight compared to his brothers (see best > worst drinker, above).

Mammon:

GO BIG OR GO HOME! MAMMON’S HERE TO PLAY FOR BIG MONEY! (AKA: bragging rights that he can handle more than his brothers)

He and Asmo are quick to get the drinks flowing because they want to try shots of everything. 

He and Asmo are pretty good at matching brothers to drinks and tasting subtle notes, things like that

Show Mammon beer pong once and it’s done. He’s betting the brothers he can whoop them and is somehow able to pull off ping pong ball math to get Lucifer shit-faced real quick (might do it even faster if Belphie or Satan slip him some money)

The type to be like “Bet you I can hit that cup right there--third row, second from the left.” and can do it flawlessly. You have to give him head pats or $5, that’s the rules.

He’ll be one of the bros you have to chase around and make put his clothes back on. Boy will try to strip and strut

Will definitely hoard his favorite bottle (picked it on smell) and spend a majority of the time trying to drink it and avoid the bros. (”YOU CAN’T MAKE ME SHARE IF YOU CAN’T CATCH ME!”)

Leviathan

Not the best drinker. Not a frequent drinker at all.

His envy makes him drink because as he starts to go on a tangent about how ‘it’s not fair! Everyone’s having a good time!’ when he realizes it’s as easy as picking up a drink. Like...he can join in too.

Levi won’t grab himself an alcoholic drink because he’s a nervous over-thinker. Asmo or Mammon will just hand him a cup like the resident Liquor Fairy and he trusts their judgement

The first one to let his demon form out just because the liquor is a little warm in his belly and he feels like he’s flying? Also comfortable?

The excited drunk who goes on animated, slurred rants

The loud laugher

He’s honestly so adorably animated that anyone who knew him would be surprised? He seems far from a shut in

Trade off: he can’t hold his liquor well

Boy probably trips on his own tail or thinks something snagged his ankle to bring him down when, in fact, he just fell down

Sways when he sits

When he’s done, he just wants a nice comfy lap to lay in and maybe play with his hair. 

Like Lucifer, liquor will make him confess all his feelings. 

Watch out for the tail. It will be all over you when he starts to lose the ability to wrap it around himself.

Satan:

It’s a toss-up as to whether he gets drunk before Lucifer or vice versa. I’d like to think his tolerance is slightly higher since he might run in the same circles as Asmo, but he is a part of Lucifer so I’m sure it balances out

He’s a drink snob and this is what hurts him the most. He goes to fancy tastings and random things he’s invited to, but this is a drop in the bucket

He’s never gone hardcore before because he’s afraid he’ll be prone to anger

He’s not. He’s actually a lot like Levi. He just wants to smile and laugh and have fun.

The one who knows a lot of random/interesting stuff and has unexpectedly awesome party tricks

He and Asmo act as instigators and somehow con everyone else into getting drunk. It’s mostly because he wants blackmail material, but he enjoys the mind games

He’s the one you’re going to have to carry BUT he’s super chill when he’s having a good time. You want him to wear a lampshade? Okay, but only if you call him Enlightened One (get it?)

Makes bad jokes. Lucifer definitely laughs

The one that randomly dances with someone at the party. But it’s a fancy dance or slow dance, not something crazy

Will try to prove he’s not as drunk as he is by reading or reciting something and just breaks down into snorts and giggles

Cat Mode: Activated. He wants to be all over you. Hug him and play with his hair, please.

Asmo:

Asmo isn’t really different from his usual self.

He’s a little social butterfly, making his rounds and checking on people

He’s the silent, sneaky drunk. No one notices he’s drunk until his face starts getting red and his eyes get glassy

The quiet cuddler. Just progressively gets closer to you until he’s resting his head on your shoulder, hugging you from the side and asking you to give him his drink.

Would be the happiest person on the planet if you literally just held his drink up to his lips and let him drink it when he wanted to. You just love him so much?! You’re so thoughtful?! He wants to cry

Guilty party #2 for ‘chase him around and make him put his clothes back on’

Next in line for ‘Liquor makes me tell the truth and my darkest secrets’.

Will try any activity at the party and will dance at least once with everybody

If he gets in a fight, that’s because someone doesn’t respect what he put on the party playlist. He knows good music, okay?!

Has a personal goal to steal one drink from everyone, drink it before they realize, and hand them back the empty cup as he slips away. Something about it just amuses him.

Wants to leave lipstick/lip gloss kisses on people. Thinks they’re the cutest accessory!

The one who loses something at the party and makes everyone look for it the next day

The one who’s passed out in a random spot and no one has the heart to move them but everyone checks on them to make sure they’re safe. When everyone’s turned in for the night, he is safely moved like the precious baby he is.

Beel:

The one who takes the longest to get drunk. You don’t know if it’s because of his build or how much he ate to offset the alcohol

Unofficial baby sitter of the group. Pays special attention to everyone but Belphie, Asmo, and Levi in particular.

Not super loud. Just vibes and enjoys time with his family.

He’ll participate in the party activities because he does have that competitive streak but he’s not as invested in it as Mammon. If he wins at least once he’s proved his point and is on to something else

Surprsingly, #3 to ‘you might have to chase him and make him put his clothes on’. Drunk Beel is convinced he’ll get over the alcohol faster with less clothes because of temperature regulation and something that doesn’t really make sense because he’s slurring

Will drink more if Belphie is nearby or if he can hold onto Belphie. Taking care of Belphie and knowing he’s okay (in a tactile way) makes him a little more carefree. 

Doesn’t really confess like the other bros but he’s the one no one can really hear talking because his purr takes over everything. His purrs are so loud and deep! Big boy is truly happy

Drunk Beel is affectionate as ever and this is where you learn that demons can express affection by licking people. Most of the bros end up with a Simba-style mohawk. It’s just one lick but Beel’s got a long tongue and it fucks with hair real good.

Will jump in for a song or two if karaoke is a thing at the party. A really good singer but wouldn’t do it unless he had a decent amount of alcohol in him.

He’s the type to trip over stuff trying to help clean up. If he falls down he says he’s just ‘taking a break’ and will ‘help in a minute’. Might not get up again.

Once Beel lays down, Belphie, Satan, and Levi drunk crawl/stumble/slither over to him for warmth. This is how the cuddle pile starts.

When he lays down, if you get anywhere near him, he’s begging you to lay down with him. Wants to whisper little compliments and lovely things. A big sap. Handsy but will definitely know when to lay off and will listen if you get uncomfortable. 

Belphie:

Honestly, doesn’t really drink. He’s more interested in the nap.

His biggest motivation is to get the others drunk so everyone’s quiet and he can sleep. Definitely wants Lucifer blackmail.

He’ll have a few things but he prefers a lot of something mild versus a mix or a few shots of something super potent

Will try the funnel drink challenge.

The third enticer. He wants to work everyone up (Lucifer especially) and get the booze going.

Borrows off of Beel’s body mass and ability to handle alcohol here and there, but it all catches up with him eventually

The type to have really diluted drinks because he’s already sleepy by nature and doesn’t want to faceplant with a shot glass.

Will slow dance with Asmo. When Asmo starts to struggle with his weight as Belphie gets cozy and sleepy, Beel steps in and you just see the twins purring and warbling to each other as Beel just scoops him up and lets him sit on his hip like a toddler.

Another one who wants to slither into your lap and take all your attention.

The type to do random shit like boop your nose and giggle about it.

The one who doesn’t want anyone else to touch you. If he’s laying on you then the others need to leave you alone. It’s not hard to understand!

[daisys-gard3n]

Please bring out the Jotaro loving chubby bodies 💳💥💥💳💥💥💥💳💥

that will be 2 horny tokens, thank you for your purchase!

Jotaro Kujo + Chubby! S/O Headcanons

sfw

Joot usually doesn't go for physical attraction because it is just that hard to worm into his heart emotionally BUT:

He searches for warmth and comfort, especially after sdc because TRAUMA, and he find that people with chubbier bodies feel a lot warmer and give him comfort to hold - basically, you're a human teddy bear to him

He likes feeling how soft you are, in contrast to his calloused fingers and hard (and very muscular) body.

You may come to realize that you've also become his stress ball whenever he's next to you and doesn't realize he grabs at the inside of your thigh and starts squeezing repeatedly while doing something else

I wholeheartedly believe that Jotaro is an ass and thighs man, so he won't listen to you when you tell him that you're too heavy for a piggyback ride or something. He's strong, he picks you up faster than you can blink and now you're on his shoulders. As he walks around, he's just living the dream of feeling those soft thighs squished beside his head.

He likes it when you lay on top of him to sleep, its like a weighted blanket except he can kiss it

When y'all sleep, he affectionately puts a hand on your ass

He also likes laying on top of you, you're a squishy mattress and he'll snuggle his face into your chest as he's dead asleep

He holds tha thigh for comfort without realizing it: at the dinner table? Thigh. In a car? Thigh. Visiting your parents' house? Thigh. Wanting sex? T H I G H

Think you're going out wearing them shorts or the skirt that show off the ass and thighs? Not without him.

Gives you the back hugs, his hands sometimes reach around to give your tummy a small squish. He just thinks its cute

Think you look fat in that outfit? Joot doesn't.

"I don't know, Jotaro-" "I don't care what you look like. If someone wants to talk shit about you in front of me, I won't hesitate to knock them out"

If you have a stand, star platinum is just jotaro but more honest and affectionate about his love for you but with your stand. You suddenly feel squishes at your tummy and you turn around to see Star lovingly doing the thing to your stand. You feel heavy all of the sudden and Star is unapologetically face-first into your stands chest with happy oras while your stand blushes and calls out it stand cry. Jotaro is very embarrassed when you see these and you tease him for it.

"Oh? Star Platinum really likes touching my stand~" "Shut your trap before I make you."

Fair warning, he's like a cat - biting you and then kissing where he bit out of affection - especially since you feel so soft under his teeth

Passes out on your body - hope you don't like moving

nsfw

Now the moment you've been waiting for

His hands like to wander, grabbing and pull at your ass, smacking it whenever he feels like it when it's just the two of you, all that good shit

Body worshipper? Hell yea. Pressing you into the mattress, he'll press kisses all over your body: from your lips, your cheeks, down your neck, to your chest, pressing loving kisses at your tummy, down to your thighs.

And then he eats your pussy/sucks your cock

He gives your thighs the little teasing kisses in between right before going back to giving you oral

He wants you to be squirming in agony as he pleasures you, he wants you to slam your thighs around his head - that was his whole goal before going down town

Sit👏on👏his👏face

Idk how much i have to stress this. This man can take it, he wants to be smothered with a that ass and all those thighs smushing him as he goes to town at your hole. His hands WILL keep you there for as long as he likes. He will make you grind on his face to feel more smothered, if he dies he will die a happy man

Lowkey has a breeding kink if you have the part - it drives him wild when he lifts your legs over his shoulder and presses into your body as he fucks you. He things about how full your hips are, how you would look carrying his baby, and your breast swelling up with milk. It makes him cum deep inside you in minutes

He likes it when you ride him, preferably facing him because he can see your thighs smacking against him, your stomach and chest at full arms length for him to grab at, and how the clapping sounds are so hot to him. If you do it from behind, he likes to smack and rub at your ass while you ride him.

"Mm, you take me so well. Is my baby that much of a cock-hungry whore?"

"Back that ass on me, babe. Show your man how much you love riding that cock."

"Fuck, you're so sexy. Gonna make me cum inside you, you'd like that?"

"Hng, fuck. Gonna make you a mother if you keep that shit up, Seashell." (Optional)

👏Thigh👏Jobs👏

Let him spoon you from the front and let him slip his cock in between them thighs, he'll go apeshit.

"Hng, so...Soft. Fuck, you feel how hard I'm getting for you? Is my Seashell getting turned on by me rubbing my cock against them?"

He likes to cum on your body btw: "You look pretty like this, baby."

He leaves a bunch of hickies on your chest and stomach, but nothing a t-shirt can't cover - until you realize he left a bunch on your thighs and have to wear long pants/skirts

Afterwards, he'll clean you up and snuggle into your body, kissing you to sleep. He'll lay his head on your chest and fall asleep holding you closd

[watchmegetobsessed]

Prompt/Request Idea!! I don’t really have a vision for the beginning or how it should end but I thought it was a cute idea. Harry sees the reader in one of his T-shirts for the first time. And maybe she doesn’t realize it’s a big deal like she just wanted to get out of her uncomfy clothes and grabbed the first shirt she saw and threw it on. But like Harry turns around and sees her and his world stops for a sec. lol can you tell I’m a hopeless romantic?? Also I got this idea listening to a country song (T-Shirt by Thomas Rhett) so yea that’s it!! This just popped into my head and you are one of my fave Harry writers so I figured why not.

BORROWED

a/n: hii! im sorry it took me so long to get around and write this but i was finally in the mood to write something extra fluffy so here it is! hope you'll like it!

pairing: Boyfriend!Harry X Reader

word count: 1180

masterlist

(gif is not mine)

“We can start in a bit, I just have to make a quick call to Jeff, is that alright?”

Harry keys the two of you into his house, heavy paper bags in both your hands and his as you just came back from grocery shopping. Tonight is date night, but after the long week you both had, you chose to just cook something together and then get lazy on the couch cuddled up with a good movie. It’s exactly what you need right now.

“Sure, take your time,” you smile back at him as the two of you walk into the kitchen, putting the bags to the counter. “I’ll unpack these in the meantime,” you offer, digging into the bags of goodies.

“Thank you, love,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before making his way into his study to get over with anything work related as soon as possible so he can spend his time with you.

While he is on the phone in there, you softly hum to yourself, unpacking everything you bought, leaving what you’ll need for dinner on the counter and putting away the rest. You already know your way around Harry’s kitchen, you’ve spent a fair amount of time in his home since you’ve started dating just a few months ago. At first you felt hesitant whether the timing for the two of you to give it a shot is good, both of you driving a quite busy life lately, but at last you’re glad you listened to your heart. You’ve grown to love him more and faster than you ever thought and now you can’t even imagine your everydays without him.

When you’re done with the unpacking, Harry is still on the phone so you decide to start peeling the potatoes since there’s a good amount of that, Harry has been craving fries all day so you’re making that as a side. But before you could start working, you decide to make yourself comfier. Still wearing your dress from work today, you make your way into Harry’s closet, roaming through his simple t-shirts, grabbing one for yourself as well as one of his workout shorts before you strip yourself out of the tight dress and put on his clothes, allowing you to feel so much more comfortable and relaxed.

When you’re back in the kitchen you connect your phone to the Bluetooth speakers he keeps there, putting on some soft music as you start peeling the potatoes, taking your time, not wanting to get much ahead on your own, since the whole point of the evening is to cook together, something you’ve been doing a lot since you’ve started dating. In fact, on your very first date, instead of taking you out to some expensive restaurant he chose to make home-made tacos together and it was the most perfect first date you’ve ever been on.

On the other end of the house, Harry finally finishes up his call and puts his phone on do not disturb, not wanting anyone or anything to interrupt his time with his girlfriend before he makes his way out to the kitchen. He hears the music before he sees you moving around and a smile tugs on his pink lips how you’re listening to a country song again. You’ve shared with him your recent obsession with country music lately and how you always find yourself gravitating towards this genre whenever you’re listening to music.

As Harry approaches the kitchen you finally come into his view, standing with your back facing him as you gently sway your hips to the rhythm, humming to yourself while peeling the potatoes near the sink. Stopping in his tracks, he allows himself to adorn the sight of you, especially because he can feel his heart pitter-pattering in his chest when he realizes that you’ve changed out of your dress and put on some of his clothes.

The blue shirt hands loose around your frame, the hem reaching down to your mid-thigh, the seams on your shoulders falling way past where they usually do on his body. The workout shorts are baggy on you and though the shirt is covering your hips, he can tell you rolled down the waist of the shorts so they fit you just a tad bit better.

He is in love with this sight, his beautiful girlfriend in the peace of his home, wearing his clothes, ready to spend the rest of the evening together, talking it away about anything and everything, because that’s what usually happens. He loves hearing you tell him your opinion about anything, loves to know your thoughts and feelings, loves listening to your rambling about the things that interest you lately.

He just loves you and everything about you.

It’s not the first time he is seeing you wearing his clothes, it had happened several times when you were spending the night over at his place and after some mind-blowing sex you felt more comfortable in his clothes than your own, but every time it happened before you always asked, as if you didn’t have a right to just take whatever you want from him. In his book, everything he owns is already yours as well, nothing is borrowed anymore, but you haven’t gotten past the point where you don’t ask, but now it finally happened and Harry couldn’t be happier about it. It means that you’ve settled into the thought of the two of you being a full item, equals in a happy relationship.

Harry walks up behind you, his hands sliding around your waist and under the shirt so his palm is touching your bare stomach, his fingers playfully dancing on your naked skin. You smile to yourself, melting against his chest instantly, your bodies fitting together perfectly, like two puzzle pieces.

“Hey handsome, done with everything?” you ask, turning your head to the side so your lips could meet his in a short peck.

“Yeah. I’m all yours.”

“Mmm, finally,” you chuckle playfully, a giggle escaping your lips as he tickles you a little before his arms fall from around you.

Standing next to you he leans against the counter, taking another few moments to just watch and adorn you, his arms crossed on his chest as a small, content smirk tugs on his lips. You catch his gaze, but you have no idea why he is staring at you like that and you can’t help the nervous little giggle that falls from your lips.

“What is it?” you ask, bumping your hip against his playfully.

“Nothing, I just… I really love you, that’s it,” he shrugs and you feel the warmth hugging your chest at his words.

“And I love you too.” Dropping the peeled potato from your hands you lean closer and steal a kiss, leaning against him gently as his hands find your hips. “Do you mind taking care of the veggies?” you ask, smiling against his lips.

“Sure thing,” he nods, pecking you one last time before he gets down to work as well.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[l4m3nt]

Equality For All!!

“Mischa? Can I ask you a question?”

Ocean and Mischa were the last two members of the choir left in the room. Mischa because he didn't want to go back to his adoptive ‘parents’ and Ocean because she wanted to stay away from the reek of weed as long as she could. 

“Sure. What is it, orphan a-hole?” Mischa replied, head leaned back while sitting on one of the plastic chairs scattered across the room.

Ocean waited a second before asking. She was curious, but she still wanted to not be insensitive. “You remember how you took off your sweater yesterday at the fair?”

Mischa lifted up his head, a suspicious look on face. “Yeah? And what about it?”

“Your shirt was unbuttoned, which you shouldn’t have had it like that anyway since it’s a violation of dress code, but under it, I saw something that looked like a bra? But you don’t have…” Ocean gestured to her own chest, hoping she wouldn’t have to say it.

“What, tits?” Mischa asked, his expression changing to amused. Ocean nodded. Mischa laughed, “Oh, I have them. What you saw was binder.”

That surprised Ocean. She wasn’t transphobic or anything, Equality for all! But she never expected Mischa to be trans. Especially with his habit of grabbing his crotch.

“Oh. Okay, then.” She said, going to grab her backpack off of the floor.

“What, no yelling?” Ocean was about to argue, but the way Mischa said it made it feel less like he expected her to do it and more like he was basing that expectation on past experiences. 

“Of course not, Equality for all applies to people of LGBTQ+ identities as well. I just say it with Ricky because his disability is what makes people think he shouldn't be in the choir. Everyone knows Noel is gay, but they don’t really exclude him from anything.”

“Huh. Alright. Can I ask you something?” Mischa says. Ocean nods.

“Can I change out of my binder before choir? If you accept me, the other probably will. And wearing binder while singing might be the reason I've been off sometimes.” The almost pleading tone in his voice makes Ocean respond faster than you could say ‘Democracy rocks!’

“Sure. Just make sure to bring a bra or something.”

Mischa laughs again, probably relieved. Sitting up from his chair, he says, “Thanks.”

Ocean smiles, but doesn’t say anything else.

Eventually they both end up outside of the school, ready to head their separate ways. Until Ocean realizes she doesn’t have a ride. She’d usually ride with Constance, but she had to work today and left earlier than she usually would. 

“Yo, you need a ride?” Mischa asks. Ocean gives him a look that she hopes reads as ‘yes, please’ and it seems to, because he makes a motion for her to follow him and starts heading to the parking lot. She has to rush to catch up to him, his long legs carrying him farther.

The two were never really friends, and they don’t get along. They don’t even have the petty rivalry that Ocean and Noel have. But they do both have the maturity to put that aside. And as they’re on the road, switching between American rap songs and pop tunes, they both realize that maybe the other isn’t too bad.

[bunni-bino]

Top 5 OP Boys Best to Comfort You

Whether it’s because you’re sad, stressed, etc.

A/N : please enjoy. I apologize if it’s not great.

Summary : the top five boys, in my opinion, that would be best at comforting, I guess.

-

5. Red-Haired Shanks

— sorry, but Shanks wouldn’t be able to give a proper hug. Jokes aside, Shanks is a nice, playful and light-hearted guy who will get down to business if needed. He’s so understanding and if he sees that you’re feeling stressed or anxious about something, he’d immediately offer you a drink but if not, he’ll pull you to a private room and just sit you on the bed to talk. Nothing else.

You’re sitting in his lap as he rubs smooth circles on your back and letting you sit there and rant but if you don’t want to talk, then silence it is. He’ll keep ensuring you that you’ll be okay. If you ever need anything, Shanks will make sure you get it.

“If you ever need anything, I’m right here, darling. I’m always available by your side, no matter what.”

-

4. Vinsmoke Sanji / God Usopp

— this was difficult so I decided to put both.

— Sanji loves and cares for everyone deeply, even Zoro, so obviously he cares about you. When he finds you crying one day, he’s quick to jump by your side and make sure you’re alright and not in any pain. When you bury yourself into his arms and chest, he’d blush a little before remembering that this was serious and lift you up bridal style, closely to him.

He’d carry you to the kitchen instead of a bedroom and place you down at the table before going over to the kitchen area and ask what you want to eat or drink. Even if you refuse, he still makes something in hopes it’ll cheer you up and offers to listen while he prepares it. When he’s done, it’s in front of you and you find yourself enjoying it with Sanji watching with a warm smile, holding your free hand in his across the table.

“My Angel, let me have the honor of being the warmth and care you need.. I’m sorry this is happening to you. I’m right here with open arms, [Name]-chan. Trust me. It’ll get better.”

— Usopp, this boy would make panic and look to see if you’re hurt then would repeatedly ensure you that a protective strong warrior is there to protect you. After all jokes are made, Usopp turns solemn and is sitting in front of you, cross-legged and gently asking if you’re willing to share, so he can help.

His eyes are glossed with sadness in them and glassy with tears from your mental pain and stress. First, Usopp would make light jokes and lies to help pull you from the dark place and to lighten the mood. But then, he starts to hold your hand and assuring you that nothing was fair and it’ll be hard and stressful and cause lots of pain, but, it WILL subside. It’ll go away sooner than you think and that you will be okay, because Usopp knows what it’s like. He eventually got out and Usopp will be right by yourself to get you out.

“It’s difficult.. you feel like everything’s crashing down on you and you just can’t handle it.. I get it.. but [Name].. you have to believe it’ll get better! I promise it will! And I, God Usopp, will be right there beside you when you do.. I promise.”

-

3. Marco The Phoenix

— He immediately knows something is wrong when you’re being distant from him so he’d confront you. He’d tell you to meet him on the main deck late at night and when you show up, he’s standing there and kneels down away from you. He’d tell you to get on and before you could react when you did, he’s immediately jumping and now soaring into the sky, flying in circles above the ship with you on his back.

You’re holding onto him tightly and as much as you are scared, you’re actually enjoying it which makes Marco smile before finally questioning you and your distance lately. You’re quiet before you finally admit the truth, Marco listening intently as he flies around calmly. When you tell him about your troubles and anxieties, Marco is calm and he just has the softest smile you’ve ever seen.

“So that’s what it is-yoi..” he would fly for a bit longer before going down gently onto the deck and set you down. Marco isn’t one for hugging, especially not an open area like the deck, but that’s what he does, only for a quick second. He takes your hand in his and gently kissed the back of it. “[Name]-yoi, you should have just came to me..” he leads you to his room and sets you down on the bed and sits beside you, laying you down.

“Feel free to cry, rant or sleep. I won’t judge you, all of us have been through these rough times.. it’s hard-yoi.. but, we’re in this together. So next time, just come to me, okay-yoi?”

-

2. Donquixote Rosinante / Corazon

— His long limbs and tall body, ROSI IS PERFECT to have by your side when you need comforting. Rosi would take a bit of time to realize something is wrong, especially when he’s gone for so long. The day he is finally coming home, he calls you up like usual and asks how you’re doing.

He would be so happy and cheery that he nearly misses the quiet sniffle and quiet, sad tones in your voice when you talk and it breaks his heart and makes him panic. Obviously when he asks, you tell him it’s because you’ve been feeling lonely, since Corazon has been gone for so long. You just want to be in his arms and feel at ease and safe.

Rosinante’s crushed heart is slowly swelling with warmth and love at your confession and just then, the door opens. “Well, it’s a good thing I’m home then, [Name].”

You would be in such shock that you didn’t notice him standing by the doorway with his arms spread and ready for you to hug, which you quickly do. You’re running to him at full speed and jumping onto his tall body, with his long arms quickly wrapping around your torso tightly and he’d fall onto the ground to sit you on his lap.

Tears are streaming down your cheeks rather quickly and you just grip the fabric of his shirt in your hands and bury your face in his chest.

“I’m sorry for not coming home sooner.. Work took longer than expected..” his smile softens as he closed his eyes and pets your hair, securing you closer. “But no worries, my love. I’ll be with you from now on. I’m not going anywhere, unless it’s with you.”

-

1. Monkey D. Luffy

— I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Luffy is one of the best captains ever because he OBSERVES. he’s a huge dumbass, strong as fuck dork and just a weird playful kind of guy who cares and would do anything for his family and crew, so underneath all of that is a observing, self-conscious and sweet kind of person that you would die for honestly.

Luffy knows something wrong immediately but can’t exactly pinpoint it, he just knows that you aren’t yourself. But overtime, he realized that you’re dealing with a lot of personal pain and it kind of destroys him. Is he failing as a captain? As a friend? Figuring it was a personal problem, Luffy waits until you’re alone at night and walks up to you.

You see him and greet him until he walks up close and stands there. And then, he raises his arms and hugs you. Tightly. He stretches his arms to double loop them and just stands there with his arms around you in silence.

You’re stunned, about to laugh it off and pull away when his voice reaches your ears.

“[Name]. It’s okay. You can cry. No ones around to judge you. You can let it out now. In front of me.”

Though you were shocked, all the built up stress and pain you’ve been storaging suddenly breaks at those words and you find tears dripping down your cheeks from your eyes. Many falling much faster than the previous ones before you’re sobbing into his shoulder, standing there with Luffy hugging you silently, his hat lowered to cover his eyes.

“Never..never forget that I.. we are here for you, [Name].”

-

A/N : you guys I want to write a comfort fic but I don’t have the energy to do so, so can someone please recommend me some comfort fics? :/

[goodwriterwithbadhabits]

Want Me

This is, a lot more than anything I've ever written, but I hope you like it.

Master List

~~

When Chan had told Stays he had a gift for them today, you had anticipated something like the valentines date. Maybe even Hyunjin’s surprise appearance. What you definitely weren’t expecting was your boyfriend to basically strip in front of literally the whole world.

“Oh. My god.” Your reaction was subconscious, and totally not something you wanted your roommate, Sungmi, to hear. Your eyes were the size of saucers as you stared at your phone.

“What’s up?” Her interest was piqued the second you made a sound, and being you, you did the one thing you could think of.

You threw your phone as far from yourself as possible.

The two of you watch it sail across the living room and land safely in the dirty clothes hamper neither of you had moved from the hallway to the washer.

“Uh, you good?”

“Wow, look at that laundry!” You exclaim, “Someone should go do it.” You can’t even jump up from the couch when her hand is wrapping around your ankle, pulling you onto the floor.

“Was it Chan’s performance?” Your face immediately goes crimson. “No,” You lie, poorly. “What performance? I didn’t even know he was performing. I should go do the laundry.” You’re talking like you’re the flash, and while she’s attempting to figure out what you said, you attempt to wrench your leg from her grip. Unfortunately her brain power is faster that you can get your arms under you, though you do manage to yank her off the couch with you.

“Get back here!” She huffs, yanking you closer to her and somehow managing to sit on your pelvis. “You saw the Wolfgang performance didn’t you?” She demands, but your answer is more struggling to knock her over. “I’m not going anywhere, Y/n.” She drops forward, pinning your arms by your head, and if she were literally anyone else, you would probably think this was super hot.

“Curse your shockingly strong legs.”

“Nine years of waterpolo.” She explains.

“Really? Damn, I should start playing.”

“You’re stalling.”

“No I’m not.” You lie, again. She rolls her eyes, dropping her head a little more to knock her forehead against yours. “Ow.”

“Be honest with me.”

“I am.”

“No you’re not.” She bonks your head again, “Stop lying.”

“Will you get off me?”

“When we’re done talking.”

“Then yes, I saw Chan’s Wolfgang performance.” She nods, letting go of your hands to sit up properly and crush your pelvis a little more.

“I thought it was pretty hot.” She confesses and you feel something bubble in your chest. You can’t help the slight twitch in your brows and of course she notices. “Ah! Jealousy!”

“I’m not jealous.” She taps your forehead, aggressively enough to hurt a little. “Ow.”

“You can’t lie to a Psychology major.”

“I’m not-” She raises her finger again and you relent. “Alright, fine. Maybe I’m not a huge fan of someone telling me they think my boyfriend is hot to my face.”

“Did you think it was hot?” Your face grows warm and you have to bite back an embarrassed smile.

“I’m not answering that.”

“You don’t have to. You’d be stupid to think otherwise.”

“Especially when he was in the white shirt.” You admit, and she nods.

“You should see if he’ll wear something like that next time you two decide to get all hot and heavy.” Your face flushes again, not really wanting to discuss your sexlife with someone you’ve only actually known for about seven months.

“Um yeah, totally.”

“Oh my god. You guys don’t do stuff!”

“We do stuff!” You defend, immediately regretting it.

“Oh really? Ever used handcuffs?” On him, or me?

“I don’t have to answer that.”

“So that's a no. How about, have you ever sent him a nude?” Oh, if only you knew.

“Get off me.”

“Another no.” She grins, “I’m shocked, he seems like such a feisty boy, you’d think he’d do stuff.” “Seriously, get off.” There’s no humor in your voice now. It wasn’t her place to tell you about your own boyfriend, and you were getting sick of her forcing her way into your love life.

“Oh come on Y/n.” She doesn’t get another word out before you grab her leg and wrench her sideways. Instead of just tossing her onto the floor, you find yourself slamming your hand into the floor by her head, now leaning over her.

“Stay out of my love life, do you hear me?” You practically growl, “I don’t need your help to please my boyfriend.” Her eyes go wide at your words, and you instantly become aware of your positions when a smirk paints itself on her face.

“My, my Y/n. I didn’t peg you as someone who’d be on top.”

“Clearly.” You reply. “Now are you quite done?”

“Have you ever topped him? He seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t like that.”

“Once again, I don’t have to answer that.”

“You should try it. Something tells me you’ll like it.”

“Shut up.”

~~

“I hate you.” It had been hours since your rather sexually charged conversation with her, and here you were standing at her doorway seeking advice. You hadn’t stopped thinking about what she had said, but in all honesty, Chan was your first, so you had no clue what you were doing most of the time.

“Oh? Is that why you’re looking all lost and confused at my door?” Her voice is sickeningly sweet as she looks at you in the mirror. “What up?”

“I need advice.”

“Wear black, it looks good on everyone.” Her gaze shifts back to her reflection, where she’s curling her hair for a date.

“About Chan.” Her attention turns back to you in an instant and you’re tempted to run back to your room.

“In what sense?”

“What you said earlier.” A wicked grin spreads on her face. “Have a seat darling.” You trudge over to her bed, sitting on the trunk at the end to watch her. “First off, tell me this, who initiates sex usually?”

“He does.” You admit quietly. “Babe, if you want my help, you gotta be able to talk about sex without turning into a tomato. I mean, how are you sexually active and still blushing like a virgin. Next you're going to tell me you only do it missionary with the lights off.”

“Well…” Her mouth drops open in horror.

“Oh my god.” She gasps. “No wonder you’re all annoyed these days. You’re not satisfied.”

“Hey, he gets me off,” You defend, “And he’s very good at it.” You practically swoon just thinking about it. She raises her hands in surrender, but smiles at your answer.

“Have you ever asked him for oral?”

“How the hell do I bring that up in casual conversation? Just “Hey babe, you did wonderful today, do you want to eat me out’.”

“Well if it works.”

“No.”

“Okay, have you ever worn lingerie for him?”

“No, but I did buy something to wear a few months ago.” She nods, approving.

“How come you’ve never worn it?”

“Between Kingdom and the fact that he lives with seven other men, there hasn’t exactly been a time and place.”

“That’s fair. When do you guys usually do it? What’s it like? Just broad details.”

“He tells me he wants to spend the night. I usually get a hotel room, since my parents are still sending me money for rent, and we arrive at separate times. Its usually really sweet and slow.”

“And after?” She prompts.

“We shower, and cuddle. He usually leaves first cause he has practice or something.”

“Ever done it in the shower?” You shake your head, shoulders slumping as you realize how lame everything sounds.

“I really like him, but I think, especially since you said he seems like a kinky type, what if he’s not as into me?”

“I don’t think that’s the case.” She turns her chair towards you, setting a hand on your knee. “I think you’re both too nervous to broach the subject. I know this is your first real relationship, and it might be his too.”

“So, what should I do?”

“Start simple.” She turns back to her mirror, “You should book a room, and jazz it up a little. Rose petals, candles, maybe that set you bought. That way its obvious you want him.”

“That's not a bad idea.”

“Even better! I will go halfsies on one of the fancy hotels with you. I know one that has these huge bathtubs so you can take one together, and the shower has a stone floor, so its not slippery. Oh! We can get you a pretty silk robe, so you can do the dramatic reveal.”

“This sounds like a lot. How about for now, I just do the candles and the set?” She laughs, clearly embarrassed by the way she fiddles with her necklace.

“Sounds like a plan. You can do the big one for your anniversary.” You nod, agreeing with her.

“I can do it tonight, he’ll probably want some stress relief after that performance.” You offer her a sly smile, jumping up to leave the room.

“Where are you going?” She calls after you.

“I gotta go buy some candles.”

~~

Hey lover, come meet me. *Y/n shared her location*

You glanced over at the message again as you adjusted the black lace garterbelt. Sungmi had been right, black did look amazing on everyone. He had read the message, and if you were lucky, he was too busy driving over to text you back. You slid the black skirt up your legs, loving the way it stopped just under the edge of the thigh highs. The last piece was a simple t shirt, it was a little ripped and hung off one shoulder, just giving a slight peekaboo of the bra you had spent way too much money on. If Chan didn’t combust from seeing you in this, you were going to have a fun night.

Carefully you moved your things out of the main room, tucking them in the closet for safe keeping, and began lighting the candles. The sweet aroma of vanilla and lavender wafted through the room as you shut the lights off. You settled on the edge of the bed, taking a few risque selfies to show Sungmi and maybe send Chan later.

And then you waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Babe?

Three hours, that's how long you’d been waiting before you finally texted him again, having run out of excuses for the man.

“Sorry babe, I was working. Do you still want me to come to you?”

Not really, after this long, the wonder had worn off, and you just felt stupid and hurt. Of course he wasn’t going to come if you asked.

No. Its fine.

Actually, I want to talk to you. Are you still at the studio?

You set your phone down, turn the lights back on and begin blowing out candles. You don’t bother changing, just grab your sneakers and your bag before heading out, tucking your key and phone in your bra as you leave the building.

With some take out in hand you make your way to the JYP building, not at all surprised to see several lights still on.

“Woah, hel-lo Y/n.” You instantly smile at Jae’s greeting, which is followed by Brian’s whistle. “You look like a full course meal, girl.”

“Hey boys, what had you here so late, its past midnight?”

“Oh we were just-” Jae glances over at Brian who clears his throat.

“Just working. What about you?”

“Chan’s still working, so I brought some food.” You shrug, heading towards the elevators, “Have a good night.

“You too.” You have to bite your lip so you don’t laugh at Brian smacking Jae’s shoulder, earning a whine from the taller boy.

The lights from the studios are all off when you arrive, but you can see the glow of the computer shining from Chan’s. You knock as you open the door, making him jump and yank his headphones off when the light from the hall hits him. His face lights up in a smile when he sees you. Of course, he’s wearing super tight jeans and a black button up, neither of which were not helping you relax.

“Oh hey baby, I didn’t know you were coming.” He stands to greet you, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek.

“I texted you.” You tell him, which has him looking guilty.

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear it when I’m working.” You smile reassuringly at him.

“That's okay, I know, that’s why I just came over.” You hold up the bag of take out, “I also brought food since you forget to eat when you start working.”

“You are the light of my life.” He sighs, kissing you properly this time as he takes the bag. Your heart flutters from his words, some of the butterflies in your stomach coming back from the dead. You sit across from him, stealing his work chair as he spreads the food out on the table and digs in. It takes him a few minutes to notice that you’re just staring, and he finally stops eating to say something, “You okay? How come you aren’t eating?”

“I already ate.” You lie, but he sees right through it, setting his chopsticks down to look at you properly. You watch his eyes rake across your body, finally seeing the lace stockings and the matching bra.

“That’s not it. You’re disappointed.” He realizes, “You looked the same way when you saw I.Ns grades.” He explains before you can even open your mouth to answer. “I know its not our anniversary, and your birthday already passed.”

“Its nothing babe. I just had a stupid idea for tonight.” The words come spilling out of your mouth before you can stop them. He looks at your outfit again and a cheeky smile begins to grow on his face.

“Were you-? But you never-” He lets out a deep breath, followed by a small giggle, which doesn’t make you feel better.

“I should head home.” You spring up, heading towards the door. “Enjoy your dinner.” He catches your arm before you get too far, pulling you back to wrap his arms around you.

“What did you have planned, baby girl?” Your heart flutters at the pet name, and the low tone his voice had taken on. “You wouldn’t have gotten all dressed up like this for nothing.” HIs free hand trails down your side, coming to the edge of your skirt, where his fingers find the skin just above the top of your stockings.

“Maybe I just wanted to make sure you want me as much as I want you.” You confess.

“Baby girl.” His voice is soft now, “Of course I want you.” His lips brush the skin of your neck as he speaks, sending shivers across your whole body.

“Then how come we never do anything interesting?”

“Like what?” Your confidence grows as you turn to face him, looping a finger through the choker he wears.

“Maybe I don’t want to do the same thing every time we fuck.” You can see from the way his eyebrows hike up that he’s startled by your words, hell, you were startled by them. “Maybe I want to see you.” Your other hand moves up to his face, trailing your thumb over his lips. “Maybe I don’t always want to be in a bed, in the dark, on my back. Maybe I want to be in charge.”

“I don’t think you could handle that baby girl.” He bites at your thumb as he finishes his sentence.

“Try me, Chris.” You challenge. His hands come up to your cheeks, pulling you in for a searing kiss. For a few seconds, your brain forgets what you had just challenged. He doesn’t help as he pulls away from your lips, his trailing across your cheek and down your neck.

“Sit.” You order, pulling away, trying to keep your breathing steady and not let on how affected you were.

“Excuse me?”

“Sit. Down.” You order again, shoving him lightly towards his computer chair. He backs up slowly, collapsing into it, eyes never leaving you.

“What are you doing?” He asks as you turn away from him.

“Proving a point.” You declare, the click of his lock emphasizing your words.

“Oh?” You turn back to him, finding him relaxed as ever, watching you with his legs spread wide. You saunter towards him, standing between his legs, hands on the arm rests. “You really think you can handle this baby?”

“If I impress you, you’ll save your work and we head over to the hotel.”

“And if you don’t?”

“You save your work and we head over to the hotel anyway.”

“Bet.”

“You might regret that, baby.” You push on the chair, sending it back until it connects with his desk.

“Oh really?” He asks, as you push his knees together slightly so you can straddle his lap. Your fingers trail from his shoulders down to the buttons on his shirt, popping them open one at a time.

“You talk too much.” You tell him, leaning forward to press kisses along his neck. Just as you hit his pulse point, he hisses, hands coming to rest on your thighs. “Ah ah ah.” You chastise, pulling away from his neck. “No touching.” You pull his hands away, dropping them on the arm rests instead. “Hands to yourself.”

“Oh you are in for it when we get to the hotel.” He groans as you nip at his skin.

“That’s what I’m hoping for.”

[huihuiheart]

Kinktober D15: Yes Sir - Mafia! Changkyun

Pairing: Mafia Boss! Changkyun x f! Reader

The reader works for him, but not really in regards to heavy mafia business. She manages the bar part of his front and takes care of clients in the illegal card games in the back, that’s it.

Warnings: Mafia themes, thigh riding, dom + sub themes, sir kink, mentions of alcohol, mentions of gambling/poker games, praise kink, cursing, a little manhandling, dirty talk, implied sex.

Word Count: 1,804

Tag list: @hyunsungcore​ 

Most people would hate working for Changkyun, especially with the reputation he had. You, however, didn’t mind one bit. He barely had you doing anything illegal, and even what you did do was just getting his players drinks and such while they played. Changkyun mostly lets you handle the entirely legal aspects of his business, not wanting you at risk. He also trusted you, though, which is how you came to know about the business that he ran behind the scenes of the bar you kept functioning. You being one of the few girls he trusted to serve the games, the only one when it came to some more high profile individuals. Changkyun was more than fair to you, though. He paid you generously, giving you a business card for whatever the bar or games might need to be purchased to keep well maintained. He also ensured your protection, walking you to your car at the very least every evening, having given you a simple silver drop necklace with an emerald on it. He had told you to wear it everywhere as a sign that you are one of his so that no one would mess with you. It seemed to hold true too, the symbol must have mixed enough with your clueless aura towards mafia things to never have been bothered at all. 

What you didn’t realize is what his gift to you actually meant. Changkyun had an arrangement with a couple of other mafias that their family who wasn’t a part of the mafia would be left out of trouble and wars, offered protection by all of them. Changkyun’s marker for those people to him was an emerald. The only thing was, you were the only person Changkyun had given something to for protection. He had no family left, and anyone whom he was close to was in the mafia with him. A group that you were more than familiar with as well. The group regularly meets on Monday evenings when no one else would come to the card tables and discuss things both in life and in mafia happenings, a weekly meeting, and socializing all in one. This one of the times when Changkyun only trusted you in that separate room. 

“Good evening guys, I’ve got everyone’s usual.” You announce making your way around the table to hand out various drinks to each of their perspective recipients, ending as usual with Changkyun, “You all know what to do if you need anything else, yes?”

You’re nearly satisfied with yourself at the cheer and glass raise you get from most of the men who are now invested once again in the cards being dealt for this round. Until Changkyun gently grabs your wrist and motions you to lean in for him to whisper. Changkyun didn’t often if ever have an issue with you, so this wasn’t something you were used to from him. That being said, you wanted to have both his approval and attention for more reasons than you’d openly admit.

“Y/N, I want you to bring me the paperwork for the bar for the past year, please. We’re discussing some things, and I want to ensure that we have everything correct. Can you do that for me, doll?” The way he purrs out the term doll while his hot breath ticks against your ear and neck nearly brings you to your knees, but you keep it together in front of all of them, giving a curt nod. 

“Yes, sir.” You simply say before scurrying towards the exit as quickly as possible without seeming suspicious, not having any clue that every time you called him sir, he had the same problem brewing inside him as you did when he calls you doll. Diligently you bring him the records he’d inquired about, not concerned in the least that he’d find fault in anything you’d done knowing you ran it without issue and always informed him of major things before just going ahead yourself. His legitimate business had profited a lot since you took over running it, if anything he just needed the details for comparison purposes, you were sure. Continuing to fulfill your duties of keeping the bar running and the men playing cards satisfied, you had no qualms at all. Until after the bar closed when you found Changkyun waiting in the back for you alone looking over the files, placing his drink down with a soft clank, as his eyes met yours when you entered the room.

He unbuttoned and rolled up the sleeves of his crisp button-down before leaning back in his seat and motioning you over while undoing a few of the buttons covering his chest, just enough to give a tease, “Come here doll. We need to talk.”

Your eyes widen, gulping a little at this darker side of Changkyun as your nerves tick up a few notches, making your way over, “Is something wrong, sir?”

“Yes, but it’s nothing you’ve done. Have a seat doll.” Changkyun taps his thigh as if inviting you to sit on his lap, causing your throat to try up as you blink at him.

“O-On your lap, sir?” Your question comes out shakier than you intended, and Changkyun chuckles at how flustered you are.

“Yes, on my lap. We’ll be looking at files together, so it’d be easier that way, don’t you think?” Changkyun’s lazy smirk is smug, but it has the fire you’ve been trying to quench all night flaring up hotter than before. Yet, you didn’t argue, not when you might not get another chance to feel his body pressed so closely against yours, even if you both were fully clothed. Changkyun’s arms slipping around your waist and pulling your back flush to his chest as he brings the files up to rest on your lap.

“The boys were more than impressed with your work doll, they praised it even. You see...we have a couple of legitimate businesses to hide what we do, but yours is the one that runs smoothly. Never gives us any trouble. In fact, you do so well that we actually legitimately profit, whereas the others try to suck us dry and skim money from us. Which is why I’ve decided to offer you something...well a couple of things.” Changkyun explains showing you the numbers that compare the bar you ran versus their other fronts.

“Let me guess...you want me to run the legitimate businesses for you too?” You predict already spotting numerous problems that would need fixing just based on the numbers alone.

Changkyun hums against your neck, breath brushing right against it as his thumbs start to rub circles into your hips where he’s gripping them, “ Exactly, we were thinking just giving you one at a time, and once you smooth that one out we’ll add another and so on. Though there is another thing.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you can’t think of what else there could be, “What is that exactly sir?”

“I want you to be my queen. I’ve thought so for a while but seeing just how hard you work only further proves to me that you’re who I want. I’ll keep you out of the mafia side of things of course, but I want to be able to treat you like you deserve....even if you don’t want to be that for me...at least let me reward you for being so good for me doll.” Changkyun’s words are slightly muffled against your skin as he trails kisses down your neck, hands slipping up to grip and roam your sides, showing exactly what he wanted.

“Reward me then sir, however, you’d like.” You sigh softly, already melting into his touch, only for him to toss the files aside and make you stand. Though you soon understand why as he makes quick work of your clothes, before moving you to straddle his thigh, facing him this time.

“Well, maybe I saw wrong, but I think you might just have a thing for my thighs with how often you stare, doll. So why don’t you do whatever you’ve imagined on them, hm?” The certain, cocky look on Changkyun’s face shows that he knows for a fact, he wasn’t wrong and that you did indeed love his thighs. 

“Yes, sir.” You purr seductively, licking your lips and slowly starting to rut against his clothed thigh, mewling whenever he’d flex it beneath you as your nimble fingers worked to undo the remaining buttons on his shirt and expose his chest to you. His hands roaming and groping at the skin as you start to work your hips faster, his hands gripping your ass and making you grind harder against his thigh, rubbing more and more delicious friction against your clit, and leaving more of your slick against his dark jeans with each drag of your hips. 

“F-Fuck look how out of breath you already are, doll. You look like the prettiest little thing getting off on my thigh like this, make it messy. I’ll reward you like this whenever you want, you just have to ask, doll.” Changkyun’s words have you mewling, back arching, and drawing his attention to your breasts, where he sucks one of your nipples into his mouth, pulling back with it between his teeth and making you more desperate. Changkyun chuckles darkly, noticing how needy you’re getting, and bounces his thigh, groaning against your skin where he’s suckling on your breasts each time your thigh rubs up against his bulge. Your thighs tremble as your high approaches, letting Changkyun take control over your actions rutting against his thigh, only able to give in and moan for him.

“S-Sir I’m so close, I-I’m gonna cum. P-Please.” 

“Such a good girl, knowing to ask for permission first. Cum for me then doll. This is a reward, after all, cum all you want for me until my pants are ruined because of your mess.” Changkyun gives you all you need to hear to release a shrill cry and spill onto his thigh as your high pulses through your body. You pant softly, as you come down from your high, Changkyun peppering kisses over your shoulders and collarbones.

“You did so well for me, doll. Did amazing cumming all over my thigh like a good girl. Making it all sticky and wet with your juices.” Changkyun praises softly before pulling back and raising a brow at you in question, as you work on undoing his pants for him.

“I think it’s time for you to make me your queen now, Sir.” You give him the same smirk he’s been giving you all night as you give him a true answer to his earlier invitation as well as move to get what you both truly wanted.

“Fuck doll. I thought you’d never ask.”

[mashiraostail]

I've been having a lot more depressive episodes lately.(dw, im getting help) But, can i have Nemuri and Aizawa comforting a s/o who just had a depressive episode? You don't have to do it if you're not comfortable with the topic, but if you do thank you so much

Thanks for the request! I can do this for sure and I hope it helps! As someone who is also depressed I put some lil tidbits from my own struggles in here (specifically the gargantuous amount of energy turning the shower knob can take me and how that simple action has literally stopped me showering for weeks) If you’re struggling right now please remember to extend your body the same kindness you so consistently extend to other people!! Even by sitting here reading my writing you’re being so amazingly kind to me!! Project that back onto yourself and give yourself a reward, a glass of water at your favorite temperature, or even a snack if you can stomach it! It’s easy to drown ourselves in comfort content and neglect tangible acts of self love but I promise the energy will be worth it!

Nemuri: It’d been a while since Nemuri heard from you, and even longer since she’s seen you, which was rare. You didn’t drop off the face of the planet or anything but you had been evading her invitations to go out or even just to spend a night with her. She wanted to avoid showing up unannounced but it was becoming concerning. The last thing she wanted was to make you think she didn’t trust you or to startle you, but whenever she brought it up you brushed her off. She hated the idea of you being sick or even just swamped with work all alone when she was more than capable of helping you out. Eventually she just decides to show up, she texts you first but you don’t even appear to open it, she just had a bad feeling and if hero-work taught her anything it was to always trust a bad feeling.  She knocks on your front door for a while to no avail, ringing the bell intermittently, she’s just met with silence. Her key works which at least is a good sign that you didn’t pack up and move across the country or something.  “Hello??” She wanders into the apartment. It’s dark and radio silent. But there are dishes in the sink, your shoes strewn around the entryway and your bag on the table.  “You here??” You were definitely here, your car keys were on the couch and your usual walking around sneakers...or. one of them was underneath the coffee table.  She decides to check your bedroom.  “I’m gonna open the door okay?? If you aren’t decent now’s the time to say it don’t freak out at me okay?? I’m opening the door now.” She opens the door with covered eyes. “Hello?” She peeks between her fingers and is greeted with the sight of you, or the lump that is probably you, curled up underneath your duvet.  “Nemuri.” Your head pokes up overtop your pile of pillows and the fluff of your comforter.  “Well hello!” She piques, clearly relieved to see you, “good morning to you sleeping beauty, though it is 4 in the afternoon.” She pushes the door open the rest of the way and enters the room.  “What’s up?” She leans against your dresser, “where have you been?”  “Where does it look like I’ve been?” You sigh.  “What’re you a vampire or something now? Decided to go fully nocturnal?” She grins but you don’t mimic her amusement.  “What’s wrong babe? I’ve done like 4 things that you would have laughed at by now. Something’s obviously wrong. I texted you and called but you didn’t reply...are you upset with me? This isn’t how you normally act when you’re upset with me...” She wrings her hands together, “normally you come to see me all the time, I’m not saying you have to be inseparable from me or anything but...well this just isn’t like you..if I made you mad I’d rather you tell me babe since I’m clueless..”   You sigh, suddenly feeling guilty for your radio silence for the past few days and the increasing distance you’d put between the pair of you for the past week or so now. It was intentional you just shut down and you didn’t mean to but everything was a chore, even the things you loved, sometimes especially the things you loved.  “No...it’s not you.”  “Well I’m...” She looked confused, “I’m glad to hear that but I’m still kinda lost. Are you sick? Did someone else make you upset? If someone else is giving you problems you need to tell me.” Having the green light gets her to venture further into your bedroom and sit on the edge of your mattress, “I can set some people straight if that’s the problem.”  “No it’s..nobody...no one is giving me any trouble that’s not it.” You also suddenly feel sort of stupid. You don’t even know what put this on. One day you were fine and the next you were worse, and then next was worse and the next was worse than that until you ended up where you were now. In bed 5 days removed of a shower where your one meal of the day consisted of a plain bagel sometimes toasted other times not.  “No one?” She reaches out and holds the bend of your knees, “are you sure?” You nod. “Okay then...well what is it? I wanna help but you’ve gotta let me know how.”  “I just...” You scrub your face, “I just...it’s been a really bad week or..2 weeks or..however long. I don’t know. I feel so depressed and exhausted and everything is annoying and tiring and no matter how much I sleep I can’t seem to stay awake.” She takes in a breath at that and nods with it.  “Oh. OH. Well now I feel stupid pulling away so much. I just didn’t wanna be overbearing and offend you or..well...well what’s up? What set all this on? Did something happen to...to make you feel upset or?”  “I don’t know...I just think I haven’t been taking good enough care of myself. I’ve been slacking and procrastinating and then I got overwhelmed and then I got upset and now...I’m here. I just feel like such an idiot and now to think I made you think I was upset with you because I was too-”  “Don’t even finish that sentence.” Nemuri shushes you, “it’s alright. Really you don’t have to feel bad about that. I get it, I understand now so it’s okay. I’m sorry for making it about me.” Her hand moves up to squeeze your thigh.  “I wanna do everything I can to help okay? Whatever I can do to help you come out on top with this thing...” Her other hand squeezes your lower arm, “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t come to me with this sort of thing okay? We don’t have to get into the...deep emotional part of it if you don’t wanna talk about that with me. But we can start small can’t we? When’s the last time you had something to drink?” She looks at the empty glasses on your bedside table. “And when’s the last time you ate or took a shower?”  The face you make at that tells her more than enough.  “Okay you don’t have to answer that.” She reaches out tuck your hair back but you flinch away from it, the last thing she need to feel was your dirty hair.  “Come on with that.” She sighs, “I don’t think you’re gross. I’m not grossed out at all okay? I promise. I’ve had my fair share of shower protests. It’s in the job description, no ones perfect. I love you, smelly or not. Now hold still and let me give you a kiss.”  You relent at that. She presses a long kiss to your temple, sighing into your skin, “I’m sorry you feel this way. I don’t wan you to feel this way ever..so let’s start small.. How about a nice bath, yeah? I’ll set one up for you you can soak in it for a bit, while you do that I’ll clean up around here, change your sheets and...work on that.. situation.. in the sink, then when you’re ready I’ll come wash your hair for you. After that you can relax in the bath a little more, shave if that’s something that will make you feel good, or I could put some conditioner in your hair. Or you can just sit in a nice warm bath with a cold bottle of water and get your energy back up. I’ll get you some real food in the mean time.”  She doesn’t poke or prod for information, she washes your hair with the same care and consideration that went into most of the things she did, she didn’t ask to join you, or to stay. She asked if you wanted to be alone for a little bit longer and left you to it when you confessed that you did only poking in to leave ‘the comfiest looking pajamas I could find’ for when you were done cleaning up. You manage to get yourself up and out of the bath without having to call for the help or extra motivation to do it. She only looks delighted to see you.   “How’d the bath go? Did I use enough bubbles?”  “It was nice..I didn’t realize how..far gone I was..I feel better..” You rub your arm, if she’s at all perturbed by your confession it’s not detectable.  “Yeah?? I had a feeling it would help. Now come here. I really want a hug.” She pats the empty bed beside her and you make your way over.  “Good, there you are.” She wraps her arms around you and sighs, “I missed you.” She tucks you easily into her chest, her free hand scratching the nape of your neck, “don’t apologize for that.” She stops you before you can talk.  “I ordered some food from that place you like. I wanted to make something so you could get some food in you a little faster but...you’re running a little low on raw materials.” She combs her fingers through your wet hair, “it’s okay though having your favorite might make you feel a little better.”  “Yeah..thanks for being here.” You close your eyes, still exhausted but your chest felt lighter, your whole body felt lighter.  “Of course. I only wish I came sooner but...” She pulls back and looks at you, holding the base of your skull in her hands, “I get wanting to be alone sometimes. Needing space to get your feet on the ground is normal but...don’t be afraid to ask for my help either. If there ever is a time that you want me here, need me here even...I want to be here. I know I can rely on you so I hope you know you can rely on me too.” She presses a long kiss to your forehead at that.  “I think I’ll feel a lot better tomorrow.” Your voice is quiet and your fingers brush against her collarbone. “That’s good.” Her palm pulls your hair off your forehead, “in the meantime I’ll be here to help you get there.” 

Aizawa:  Aizawa was an introvert himself. He liked being around other people at times of course but sometimes he just needed a quiet room to recharge. He figured you did too, and plus you were both plenty busy. For the most part he trusted your judgement and tended to not be very insecure when it came to how much time you spent together. He liked being around you, and would rather be with you than not for the most part but he understood probably better than anyone what exhaustion can do to a person. If you were tired then you could recharge. That being said he wouldn’t avoid you if he saw you out and about, and he saw you out and about.  It was actually late for you to be out, late for anyone to be out really. You were leaving a convince store and he was getting ready to call it a night with patrolling.  “Hey.” The way you jump out of your skin at his voice tells him he maybe should have approached you with noisier steps.  “Sorry.”  “It’s okay.” You clutch the bag you were holding, “I just thought I was getting mugged is all.”  “You think there are criminals running around when I’m out here? I don’t know if I should be insulted.” He teases a little and you jump.  “That isn’t how I meant-”  “I know.” He chuckles, “I know. What are you doing out so late? It’s almost midnight.”  “I...had to get some stuff.. You bounce nervously on the balls of your feet, the last thing you needed was him seeing you like this. It was the first time you’d gone out in like 2 weeks, you were sure you looked as terrible as you felt.  “You don’t look very happy to see me.” Ever intuitive. You supposed you didn’t keep it much of a secret, the first thing you did whenever you saw him was reach out for him, his hand, his arm, his waist, you just wanted to touch. Or normally you did, but now all you wanted to do was get away.  “I’m just...exhausted. Sorry I am happy to see you. I’m always happy to see you.” You rub your eyes, “like you said, it’s late.”  “It is late.” He agrees, “I’m finished here.”  “O-oh that’s good..are you hurt at all?”  “No, slow night...but.. why don’t we spend the night together? Since we’re both here.”  He didn’t need to see the state of your apartment.  “U-uh okay yeah we can go to yours..” “You’re closer.” He raises his eyebrows, letting his goggles fall around his neck, “and you just bought stuff. I’m assuming it’s for your apartment not mine.” He peeks into the bag, “I don’t remember sending you a midnight shopping list.”  “W-well yeah but there’s school tomorrow and you’re closer so it’s probably easier for you and-”  “You’re an extra five minutes out.” He laughs at that, “and unless you trashed all my things in the week I went without seeing you I have plenty of stuff to wear at your place.”  “Y-yeah I mean..that is true.”  He raises one eyebrow at you, “so?” You couldn’t think of a good reason to say no, the mountain of dishes in your sink, the full washer and dryer and 2 baskets of unfolded laundry didn’t seem like an excuse, especially considering it was knowledge you wanted to withhold from him in the first place.  “Y-yeah sure..it has been a while.”  “Alright, let’s go then.” He reaches out and takes your bags from you batting your hand away as you try to stop him.  “You’ve been working-”  “I got it. It’s fine come on. You really shouldn’t be out so late by yourself you know.”  “You’re probably right..” You murmur, making to follow him down the road.  He doesn’t pry about your jittery state, he asks a few question about how your day went and seems to back down even more when you take a hold of his arm on your walk.  “It really is slow tonight.” He looks around, “at least you picked a good night for a midnight excursion.” He nudges you a little playfully and you hum.  You wanted to be more engaging but every step brought you closer to the impending doom that would be Shota seeing the abysmal state in which you were living.  Once you get to the front door you realized you didn’t have your keys.  “I...” You look at your shoes and he leans against the wall.  “What’s up?”  “I don’t have my keys..”  “You really are lucky you ran into me.” He straightens up and shifts the bags to one arm to fish around in his pocket, “I’ve got one. Are you feeling alright?” You don’t reply because...well he’d figure it out.  “Please don’t say anything rude.” You warble mostly to yourself as the lock clicks, he pushes the door open. “What do you mean don’t say anything rude, why would I-” He clicks the light on as he steps inside. Oh it’s worse than you remembered. How’d your laundry get to the couch? And why did you get a new glass every time you wanted water? Especially when you didn't drink it half the time. Everything is clearer in hindsight.  “Oh.” He sets the bags down on the coffee table, which is really the only clear surface in a 10 foot radius of him.  “I’m sorry.” You groan, slumping into the wall and scrubbing your face, “I’m so gross-”  “I didn’t say that...But let me ask again.”  He turns to you, “are you feeling alright?”  “Not really no..” You look down again and he starts to pick up some of the glasses.  “The sink isn’t any better..” You warn him, hugging your chest.  “Yeah I figured.” He turns to you, arms full of various aspects of your mess. “Don’t look so guilty. Come on.” He nods you towards your kitchen, you figure the least you can do is pick up a few spoons, bowls and glasses on your way in.  “You don’t have to clean up after my stupid mess I-”  “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” He shakes his head, “you don’t feel good. I wish you’d said something sooner. I would have come when you asked.”  “Don’t feel bad.” You murmur, “I wasn’t ready anyways.”  “Come here.” He holds an arm out and you cringe, “I probably smell terrible I haven’t-”  “It’s okay. It’s all okay. I’m not holding any of this against you, no one is. Come on. Over here.” So you shuffle into his chest, eventually wrapping tired arms around his ribs.  “Does this help?” He’s rubbing long strokes up your back, his palm his firm against you every stroke pushing you a little closer. You just nod into his chest.  “Did something happen? Did someone upset you? Or are you just having a hard time right now?”  “I’m just having a hard time.” You reply, trying not to let your voice sound to wet or warbly. “Cry if you want to. If you need to. It’s okay. I won’t hold that against you either. Sometimes the best thing you can do is cry. I’ll be here for you while you do.” It’s not loud hiccup-y sobs, you aren’t bawling and sniffling. It sounds just as tired as the rest of you, it’s listless and exhausted and downright empty. It honestly hurt him to hear it a little. He’s been there too.  One hand holds the back of your head the other keeps running those lines up your back pressing between your shoulder blades.  “What do you think about taking a shower?” His fingers glide along the hem of your tee shirt, grazing your neck lightly. “It’s not that I don’t want to-”  “I know. Hey, I know.” He pulls you away and slicks your hair back, “but you’re neglecting your body right now. Even if you don’t mean to. Your skin and hair will be really thankful for a shower right now. How can I help you get there?”  He takes you to the bathroom and carefully undresses you going as far to turn the shower nob for you.  “Sit if you need to.” He reminds you, gathering your clothes off the ground, “I’m going to leave the door open so call me if there’s anything you can’t do, but I’ll come check on you in 10 minutes okay? Is there anything you don’t want me touching or cleaning without you? Is there anything that’s off limits?”  “No...it’s okay...I just feel bad you’ve been working and now-”  “Don’t feel bad. I’m not doing anything that you wouldn’t do for me. Take your shower, I’ll come back in a few minutes after I fold up the laundry out here. Try to stay focused.”  “Thank you.” You nod and squeezes your shoulder.  “You’re welcome. And thank you for trusting me.”  He helps you out of the shower and wraps you in a towel. In the time you’d spent in the shower he’d gotten most of your dishes into the dish washer and you could see your couch again.  “New sheets.” He kisses your temple, “you ready to go to sleep?”  You nod as he tosses a tee shirt to you.  “Tomorrow morning you’re gonna eat a good breakfast with me right?”  “I don’t really have much to cook with-” “We’ll make it work.” He leans back against the pillows, “don’t worry about it now. Right now just focus on getting some sleep, real genuinely restful sleep. Wake me up if you need me.” 

[blackch-rry]

“His side of the bed”

p. sunghoon x female reader (1.2k)

warnings: angst? shitty writing. this is from months ago and idk why i’m posting it in the first place. it’s supposed to be multiple parts but i don’t think i’ll be doing that :) 

***

She always appreciated having the night shifts. Maybe there's something in the air when its long passed sunset that makes it so calming; addicting. If it was safe enough she would take nightly walks all by her lonesome. Walks that would last hours while her mind went off running.

 Her deepest wish in life is to let the free spirit that resides in her body float up into the sky and find a home on the clouds. There's something holding her back of course. There always is. It could be the pile of late assignments she has no interest in completing. Or it could be the obvious.

A broken heart that was shoved into the darkest, deepest, place in her. She doesn't like to admit when she's hurt or hurting. She guesses it's because her pain is something only she wants to feel. It's nobody else's business besides the person who put her in this state. There is a part of her that wants this pain to escape and travel somewhere far away. Possibly to him. Him. She would like him to feel this way too, because she thinks he has no idea at all.

The store's interior is new and freshly renovated, but the outside is a work of art only decades on earth could do. Green vines crawling every which direction. Cracks and broken chucks missing from numerous bricks. Personally, she prefers the run down, old, look. But she won't disagree that the inside looks much sharper and modern. 

Her co-worker just stepped down from the ladder on the farthest left wall.

"It's time for me to head out. Hopefully since it's a thursday," He pushes his sleeve up to check his wristwatch, "and almost eleven there won't be a lot of late night shoppers."

She always thought Jungwon had a nice smile since her first day on the job. He's a nice guy from what she knew. Apparently, they attended the same high school three years ago. She was a senior when he was a junior. "Don't forget to turn off the backroom light before you lock up, okay? You left it on last time and, ironically, Joy wasn't too happy about that."

Jungwon placed the last few books from his hands into their respectful places before heading back and grabbing his belongings. She halted him by placing a hand on his shoulder before he left for the night. "Thank you by the way. For saving my ass with Joy." She quickly put her hands behind her back and put on a smile of gratitude.

Jungwon would be lying if he said he hadn't noticed anything different with her the past couple of weeks. He noticed everything of course, how she lessened conversations with customers and shortened her responses to everyone. It's just the two of them working the later shifts of the day. Jungwon thinks she could be a great actress.

"It's no problem at all. Have a good night, okay?"

She did a slight nod of her head. She walked back behind the counter and continued where she left off. It was quicker than usual how fast she got distracted and rummaged through her bag for a certain notebook. She pulled out a dark blue pen and got to work. Draw a flower. A rose. Then, draw a butterfly. Write a phrase. I miss you on your side of the bed. No... cross that out...please.

She straightened her back when her phone chimed. Glancing at the time, it had been a little over thirty minutes since Jungwon left.

I won't be home when you get back. Probably be back around tomorrow night.

A text message from her roommate. As she typed out a couple words the bell above the door alerted her of someone's presence but she didn't lift her head from her phone; assuming it was probably some middle aged customer. She replied some minutes ago but got distracted, once again, by her Instagram feed. Definitely not employee of the month. All previous sounds were blocked out, but there was a sudden clearing of a throat less than four feet away from her.

She never thought movies made sense when a character would say 'It happened in slow motion', but she could say she felt her chest burn the second she saw him and the way his eyes met hers was painfully slow.

"Sunghoon..."

She hated how she said his name instinctively, no thought or hesitance at all. Her eyes shifted to his hands. A book. No, two.

"Wow, it's...been so long hasn't it?"

"A year isn't that long."

She guesses she made him uncomfortable because of the way he laughed off what she said. She can't seem to take her eyes off the books. Especially not when he puts them onto the space between them.

"Just these two?" Her voice is stable but low and quiet. She gets nothing but a nod in return.

"I didn't know you were back."

"How could you have? I didn't tell anyone besides, well, h-"

"Her? I figured."

She supposes there has been something eating inside of her since the very beginning of their end. It's not done yet, but it's made some sort of breakthrough that day. She holds in her scoff as best as possible.

"Two of the same book?"

"She wanted me to read it at the same time as her."

That made whatever was there eat faster. She hadn't even rung up the second book yet. He clearly noticed how slow she was going and sighed out of irritation.

"Does she make you do everything with her?"

"What's with all the questions?"

"I just find it funny. You always told me to stop wasting my time on books and letting my head get stuck somewhere non-existent. You never picked up a novel. It's-"

"Yeah, I know. I'm a hypocrite." He ran a hand through his hair. Something he did when he was running low on patience. She decided to state the painfully obvious.

"You're doing it because you love her. I mean, you're in love with her."

"Can you just tell me what the total is?" His card is sitting pretty in between his fingers. She knows his hands are ice cold. No... she probably makes them warm.

"$29.98."

He makes sure they don't touch when he hands over his card. She notices.

When midnight arrives, she double checks the backroom light is off and the door is locked. The short walk back to her apartment is relatively quiet if you don't count her inner thoughts.

She's got a free spirit somewhere in there, no doubt about it. But the reason why she's not letting herself get a taste of the wind has just moved back to town. The pain she hasn't let go of for more than a year is ready to see the sky, touch the stars. It's been ready, but she's grown so used to it she wouldn't know what to do, how to live on, if it escaped.

She's come to the realization that it's not fair how people could be so okay with leaving behind their other half. It doesn't matter if she's still in love. It never does.

No matter how many times she sleeps on her side of the bed, how warm it can get, his will always be cold and it eventually spreads to her as well.

[star-spangledstud]

MIND GAMES - ONE

Summary: You arrive at your new home. Steve is a blank canvas.  

Pairing: Steve Rogers x (Female!)reader

Warnings: none (so far)

Note: Had to reupload cause instead of editing I accidentally deleted it.

Raindrops, heavy and loud against the window beside your head, clash against and glide down the glass in messy, squiggly lines. The title of the song playing on the radio, ‘Soft like Rain’, fits the scene almost perfectly. Almost, because the rain that pitter-patters against the fogged-up window isn’t very soft in nature. In fact, the droplets come down so hard they bang against the roof of the car, its sound almost entirely overtaking the mellow tones of jazzy piano and drums in the background. The lines obscure your vision of Times Square, lights from the streets blown out and blurred to look like colorful stars and wicked shapes in the darkness.

I hope I made the right decision.

Your breath further fogs up the glass when you sigh audibly. A pair of dark eyes can be found eyeing you carefully through the rearview mirror when you sink further down into your seat. They offer you a hint of concern, of uncertainty. Nick Fury doesn’t know whether you’ll be okay or not. He can’t tell just yet, but the glimmer of hope he feels inside tugging at his heartstrings motivates him to give you a shot.

“We’re almost there,” his voice is quiet and deep when he speaks for the first time since picking you up from the airport, “just a few more miles.”

Of course I made the right decision. I always do. When have I ever fucked up?

You nod in response without checking to see if he’s looking at you through the mirror again because he undoubtedly is. After all, it’s all he’s been doing for the last hour. If you were to study the look in his eyes or his inner monologue just a little longer, you’d find out he’s scared. Nick Fury is afraid, both of you and for you, and he doesn’t like it because Nick Fury doesn’t get scared. He’s seen so much, experienced so many horrors in his time that he genuinely didn’t think anything could frighten him any more. Past tense, because the you’ve clearly made him change his mind.

This could be the best thing I ever did, or the worst. Can’t wait to find out which one it is. Cap better not fuck this one up.

There are so many questions you want to ask, but the voice in his head is loud in such a confined space, and nothing appropriate comes to mind. All you can pay attention to is the rumbling of the engine and the occasional ambulance rushing by somewhere in the distance. In the meantime, the song on the radio changes and morphs into something that sounds more melancholic.

When the two of you finally pull up to the compound, the rain has mostly stopped. It’s only drizzling now, tiny drops tickle your face while you brush strands of dampened hair from your forehead. A chill runs along your spine when a gust of wind blows through your open jacket, and you immediately zip it up for extra warmth.

You quickly scan the building, breath hitching in your throat when you notice its sheer size. It’s huge, much larger than where you used to reside, and the bright blue Avengers logo on the front causes your heart to beat a little faster. Seeing that logo makes it real, you think. You’re not so sure if this is the right place to be, but you don’t believe you have a better option. Either way, you told yourself you wouldn’t fuck this one up, and you have no intention to break this promise. This is home now, or at least it will be for a little while, and as intimidating as it is, you’ll have to make it work.

You can adapt, you’ve done it before. Hell, you’ve done it more times than you can remember. It’s extremely easy to make the people around you feel at ease in your presence when you can literally read every single thought they’ve ever had.

“I’ve assigned you to our best agent. He’s going to accompany you wherever you go to keep you safe. You cannot, under any circumstance, leave the building without him. You will listen to him and do what he tells you to do because it’s in your best interest. If you need anything, ask him, and he will provide. Do not tell anyone private information. If you need to vent, tell him,” Fury pauses, waits for you to nod, “no phones, no computers and especially no social media allowed under any circumstances. We need to figure out how much they know first. Don’t worry, we got Tony and Banner on that one.”

Did I get it all? I’m getting too old for this shit.

He watches you intently while you have to stop yourself from chuckling, “Got it?”

You nod.

“I need a verbal confirmation,” he grumbles, sounding annoyed by his own protocol.

“Yes,” you mumble against the whistling wind, “I understand.”

“Good. Let’s get moving, then.”

The opulent, open design of the ground floor greets you warmly when you walk in. Your boots, black and caked with mud, make streaks of brown along the white linoleum with each step you take and creak beneath your feet when you force yourself to move slowly forward. Fury watches your gaze flickering across the entrance and motions for you to follow him to the elevators, which you do silently.

A look of disapproval follows when he notices the trail of mud you’re leaving behind, but he doesn’t say anything. It won’t do him any good to verbalize his annoyance, because you’ve already picked up on it. Still, you drag your feet in an attempt to make him think you aren’t listening.

“Gym is in the basement,” he comments after watching you eye all the buttons inside the elevator, “roof is a terrace and pad for the Quinjets. There’s a penthouse underneath you’ll see soon enough.”

You raise a brow, and to your surprise, he chuckles, “Christmas party.”

“All the other floors include a lab, living quarters, conference rooms with workspaces, IT, a weaponry and gear storage. There’s a training room attached to the building that offers simulations. The building has a common kitchen and living room, a game room, a movie theatre and some other crap. Steve will show you when he has time.”

Your voice is dry and hoarse when you speak, “Steve?”

The elevator comes to a halt on the fifth floor, and before Fury has time to reply, the doors open to reveal a tall, blonde man in the opening. His arms, broad and encased in royal blue wool, are crossed over his chest. He has a stern expression on his face and a deep crease in his brow until he sees you and Fury, standing so far apart both of you are nearly hugging the mirrors on the walls. Fury has some of the loudest thoughts you’ve ever heard, and being stuck in a tiny box doesn’t do the volume any favors.

A glimmer of amusement is evident in his light blue eyes when you get out of the elevator. You look awkwardly at Fury, who’s making no move to follow you into the hallway, leaving you standing with one foot in the hall and one still in the elevator.

“Steve,” Fury says with a nod of his head towards the stranger, “is the agent you’re assigned to. He’s the captain of the team. I’d love to stay and chat, but you know how it is. Things to do, people to see… Keep me posted, Cap. I’ll be back soon for updates.”

He nudges you softly until you fully exit the elevator, and wastes no time pressing the button that will lead him back down to the ground floor. The heaviness of Nick Fury’s presence and the loudness of his inner monologue disappears with him when he leaves. It’s not until the doors close behind you that you feel like you can finally breathe again.

You turn to the man in front of you when you notice how quiet it’s become, and you subconsciously tilt your head to the side when instead of a constant stream of low mumbling and whispering, you hear nothing at all.

Steve raises a brow when he notices the way you’re looking at him. The soft expression on his face falters just a moment, but he recovers quickly, deciding not to allow his concern to show for now.  

“Hey,” he says “I’m Steve Rogers, captain of the team.”

It takes you a while to reply because you’re so focused on listening for his inner voice that you don’t even notice his rosy lips moving.

You swallow down a stream of curses in a variety of languages and force yourself to stand up straight when you realize he’s waiting for you to say something. What the fuck is going on, you think to yourself while you plaster a smile on your face.

“Yeah, I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Y/N,” you reply politely, “nice to meet you.”

“I hope Fury didn’t intimidate you too much,” Steve says with a chuckle, “the first conversation I had with him scared the hell out of me. To be fair, I did think I was still in the 40s.”

You bite your lip and shake your head, grip on the straps of your backpack tightening until your knuckles turn white. You’re glad he doesn’t extend his hand for you to shake. You assume he contemplated it.  Don’t know for sure though, because it’s still quiet up there in his skull. Does this guy even think at all?

“Come on, let me show you to your room.”

Your footsteps echo against the walls when the two of you silently cross the hallway. In total, you count a number of six doors. You tip your chin up when you reach the end and take a moment to study the man’s appearance while he points to the door on the right. He’s even taller and broader than you imagined him to be when Fury pictured him in his mind for you to see. If the upward curl of his lips wasn’t so genuine and soft, you would have been terrified of how big he is.

“This is mine,” he says, “I’m right across the hall if you need anything. This is yours. Usually, the doors open with fingerprint recognition, but you have a key. Nobody else has a copy except for me, for safety reasons. I’m obligated to tell you that you aren’t allowed to make any more copies.”

“Wasn’t going to,” you reply quickly.

He pulls a short, silver key from his back pocket and places it gently in your open, shaky palm. He notices your fingers are shaky when you fumble with the lock and smiles again in an attempt to make you feel more at ease. It’s almost like he can read your mind instead of the other way around. That stupid smile pisses you off.

“You have your own private bathroom,” Steve explains while he follows you inside, “Fury told us you don’t own much, so I asked Natasha to get you some clothes. We can go out and buy you some more if you want, just let me know. Feel free to decorate the place however you want.”

“Natasha?” you ask while looking around.

“The best spy we have. You’ll get along just fine, I’m sure. Anyway, I’ll leave you to get settled for now. Don’t hesitate to knock on my door at any time, okay? I’m not supposed to leave for another mission for a few weeks until you get situated. We can explore the compound tomorrow if you’re up for it. Maybe you can meet some of the other team members while we’re at it. No pressure.”

“Thanks,” you swallow thickly, “Steve.”

“You’re safe here,” he presses, “don’t forget that.”

For a brief moment, you wonder how much he really knows. You knowFury’s told him and Tony a watered-down version of what you’ve told him, but the kindness in his voice allows you to believe he hasn’t heard much. Still, you try to enter his brain and find out yourself, but once again you come up with nothing.

You exhale loudly after Steve leaves and take a moment to look around the room you’re now supposed to call yours. It doesn’t feel like it belongs to you, not yet anyway, and you wonder how long it will take before you find yourself succumbing to a new routine.

You take a shower to warm your bones and wash your hair with the shampoo and conditioner that smell like papaya. The towel you use to dry off is too fluffy for your liking, and a look in the mirror reveals dark circles and sunken in cheeks. It’s fine, you think. You haven’t recognized yourself in years.

Your backpack finds its way onto the bed, which is big enough for at least three people to sleep in. You follow shortly after, arms spread wide across the silky, forest green sheets until you sink down so far they almost wholly envelop you. Your hair is sprawled messily across the pillows. They smell like lavender and fresh cotton, and the scent is so relaxing and calming that within just several minutes of staring up at the ceiling, you drift off into a dreamless sleep.

When you wake up in a cold sweat several hours later, your hands are curled tightly in small fists around the silk sheets that cling to your legs. It’s hot in your room even though the chills along your arms would suggest otherwise, and your eyes frantically scan the shadows that seem to momentarily engulf you. It takes a while for your eyes to adjust to the darkness, and while you lie there in the dark, for several minutes, the only thing you can see is the vague outline of the face of a man.

As images from the dream you’ve just woken up from begin to fade, your heartrate slows down enough for you to remember where you are. You push the covers away from you and get up out of bed. You consider making a trip to the kitchen to get yourself something to eat, but you have no clue where the kitchen is located. Irritation pricks at your skin when your stomach rumbles loudly in the deafening silence, and five seconds later you’re stomping through the hallway with one goal in mind; to find something to eat.

The memory of Fury pointing out which floors of the building contain which rooms replays in your mind while you speedwalk through the hallway. You try to make a mental map of the compound for future reference just as you round the first corner, and in your state of tiredness and annoyance fueled by hunger, you don’t have time to realize Steve Rogers is on the other side of that corner.

Before he slams into you chest-first, his arms stretch out in front of him out of reflex. He grabs onto your shoulders and holds you steady while the both of you inhale sharply. Your head shoots up to meet his gaze, and he quickly releases his grip. What are the odds?

“Jesus Christ,” you gasp, “I didn’t see you.”

You didn’t hear him. That’s what you really want to say, but it wouldn’t make sense.

“I can tell,” he replies, “What are you doing awake?”

He’s tired, you can tell by the raspiness of his voice and the droopiness of his eyes, but he’s trying to hide his exhaustion by showing concern.

“I’m not trying to bail,” you cross your arms, “if that’s what you think.”

“I didn’t say that,” he replies, “didn’t think it, either.”

I wouldn’t know, you think. 

You take a step back to study his face for a moment, unaware that you haven’t answered his question. When the silence between the two of you becomes nearly unbearably heavy, you finally speak up.

Your cheeks heat up, and you swallow thickly, “I was hungry.”

“Damn it,” he mutters under his breath, “of course. I’m so sorry, I should’ve given you something to eat. The kitchen’s all the way at the end of the hall, on the right. Fridge should be stocked. I think there might be some leftovers, if Sam hasn’t eaten them already. I gotta go, see you in the morning.”

As you watch him walk away in the opposite direction, you can’t help but wonder what the rush is all about. Perhaps he’s really eager to get back in bed, you muse, although you doubt that’s the real reason why he’s speedwalking away from his room in the middle of the night.

NEXT CHAPTER.

[wheresmynaya]

Lost in the Lights Ch.16|Brittana

A/N - Better late than never, am I right? 😅 Sorry for the delay, it has been a struggle to write but thanks for being patient and not spamming me with demands for an update. I must be a glutton for punishment though because I've decided that this final chapter will have two parts now. Here's part one. Enjoy!

Available on ff.net (x) ao3 (x) & under the cut!

Despite the pristine shape Brittany keeps herself in, she breathes heavily in the crisp December air. Her lungs feel like they’re growing icicles and she’s struggling to keep her hands from going numb in the frigid temperature. There’s no doubt her nose is as red as Rudolph’s by now and she can barely feel her lips as she calls out play after play, but she persists.

She always persists.

Afterall, this is the last football practice of her high school career. 

It’s an important milestone for her but the couple of hours Coach Beiste added to practice makes it a little harder to enjoy – especially now that the sun sets earlier and the temperature drops faster. But Brittany figures high school football practices are a walk in the park compared to college level, so she goes through the motions as per usual and soaks in the moment while it lasts.

At the sound of Coach Beiste’s whistle, everyone gets set for another play and Brittany readies herself for the snap.

When the ball is hiked, Brittany takes it into her hands and tries to drop back so she can fire downfield. The Titan defense is too aggressive for her new O-Line though and soon the pocket she’s in begins to collapse. Defensive players are coming at her from all angles so she has to duck and dodge. It’s a mad scramble to avoid a sack but there’s nothing more to do than to throw the ball away for an incompletion.

When the play is called dead, there’s some shoving amongst her frustrated linemen but she wedges herself in between the guys, forcing them apart with a firm push. The tension has been growing since last night’s practice, but they can’t fall apart now. There’s too much at stake.

“It’s alright, guys! We’re almost there!” Brittany tries to encourage her team although she’s starting to sense the discouragement, “Keep pushing! We’ll get this.”

“Jackson! Ridley! You have got to step it up,” Coach drills for the tenth time, “Pierce was this close to a sack. You have to offer more protection than that or we’re getting our butts handed to us tomorrow night.”

The replacements for Azimio and Karofsky nod diligently. The two eagerly accepted the challenge when Coach Beiste called upon them to step up after dismissing Azimio and Karofsky. The only problem is that they mostly practiced on defense so protecting the quarterback is new terrain for them.

“This isn’t Carmel’s first rodeo, folks. They’re the defending champs for how many years now? We have to do better than this. I know we can, we wouldn’t have a record like ours if we couldn’t,” Coach continues.

And it’s true. From where the Titans were as a team in the beginning of the season to now is a drastic improvement. Hell, they’re playing better than they ever have! The loss of Azimio and Karofsky was only a minor setback, but the team has faced adversity before and they can do it again.

Besides, they’re better off without them.

“Carmel’s time at the top is over,” Brittany adds as she looks around at her team, “Right, Titans?”

The team starts to hype themselves up again as they cheer on Brittany’s words and the quarterback smiles proudly at the response.

“Alright, let’s run it again and this time hold the line longer than half a second,” Coach instructs, “We know Pierces has wheels, but she shouldn’t have to scramble. Line up!”

The Titans all gravitate back to the line of scrimmage at the Coach’s command and begin again.

With only two practices on offense under the replacements’ belt and the big game just a mere 24 hours away, all Brittany can do now is have faith that they’ll be able to iron out most of the kinks and everything will work out just fine.

It has to.

\\

It’s a restless night’s sleep for Brittany before the big game, but that’s nothing new. She always gets the jitters on game day, but there’s something else that looms over her and she can’t quite decided if it’s good or bad. It lingers throughout her morning run and usual routine of getting ready for the school day. It’s there as she texts Santana good morning and it’s even there when she joins her mom and Pete for breakfast downstairs.

“Nice shirt, Petey!” Brittany compliments before pressing a kiss to the top of her brother’s head.

Pete puffs out his chest and does a cute little flex to show off his custom-made Pierce Power t-shirt in WMHS colors. Brittany starts to mimic him and soon the two are having a flex-off at the kitchen counter.

Whitney can only laugh at the pair as she plates up their banana pancakes. That odd feeling still lingers as they all settle down to eat, but it’s kind of comforting above anything else.

\\

With her car keys in hand, Brittany’s just about to head out the door when she catches a glimmer from the corner of her eye. The morning sun trickles in through the tiny opening left in the living room curtains and falls on a silver picture frame on the fireplace mantle. In the frame is a picture of a young Brittany wearing a football jersey that’s two sizes too big and she’s giving the camera a toothy grin as she holds a football that’s two sizes too big for her tiny hands.

But behind her, supporting the ball in her tiny hands so she doesn’t drop it is her dad and he looks just as proud as he always did to be there to support her. It’s one of Brittany’s favorite pictures of them – the first time she was introduced to football. It wouldn’t be for a couple more years that she’d actually take to the field, but in that picture is where her interest begin.

It wasn’t forced upon her. It wasn’t her dad trying to live vicariously through her. It was just a moment between a father and daughter. A moment that shaped her and encouraged her to be this great athlete, but above all – a great person. If it wasn’t for him, maybe she would’ve never touched a football?

Brittany starts to get a little choked up because he should be here. He should be in those stands tonight cheering louder than anyone else there just like he has done all of her life. He should be with her, looking just as proud as he does in that picture.

She starts to feel that familiar pain in her chest, the slow building anger, because it isn’t fair. Of all the great dads in the world, why did it have to be hers? But then she remembers something her mom told her once after having one of her nightmares.

“He’ll always be with you, Britt. He’s in every pretty sunset and sunrise. He’s there for every game and every one of your touchdowns. You might not be able to see him anymore or hear him, but he’s there. You’ll feel it.”

It’s not until that moment that Brittany begins to realize what that feeling that’s lingered around her all morning might be. It’s the first time she’s really felt it in a long time and she quietly wishes he’d visit more often.

At that, she gives the picture one last smile before heading out the door.

\\

When she arrives to WMHS’ student parking lot, Brittany finds that she has beaten Santana to school for a second morning in a row. She chuckles as she remembers the garbled nonsense Santana had sent in reply to Brittany’s Good Morning text and decides to head inside and wait for Santana by their lockers instead. The girl has been known to show up with just a few minutes left to spare before first bell and Brittany needs a little more time than that to get ready for class.

On the walk to her locker, Brittany is greeted by several students and faculty wishing her luck tonight. She smiles and thanks them like she has grown accustomed to doing over the past few months, although sometimes she still can’t believe they all treat her like some type of celebrity.

She spots some of her teammates in the hall dressed similarly to her in their blue jeans and Game Day jerseys. The only thing Brittany’s missing is her letterman jacket but she can thank the Puck Heads for that.

“Sup Pierce!” Puck calls out before he and Finn bump knuckles with her, “Ready for tonight?”

“Totally,” Brittany responds confidently, “You?”

“Hell yeah!” Puck answers, “Can’t wait to saw right through those guys.”

“Seriously! Wish we got to have the school day off or something,” Finn says, “Like a Titans Skip Day?”

“Dude, genius idea!” Puck replies, “No way I’ll be able to concentrate on stuff today.”

Brittany knows the feeling but she doesn’t say that, “I know, that would be so awesome but no skipping. Coach checks if we’re all in class.”

“Damn,” Finn and Puck grumble in unison.

Brittany only laughs as she continues her walk, “Would be cool though. I’ll catch you later.”

When she gets to her locker, Brittany starts pulling out the books she doesn’t need yet from her book bag in exchange for the ones she’ll need for her first class. She’s trying her hardest to remember what she needs for class, but with the entire school going on and on about this game tonight it’s difficult to focus on much else.

That Titans Skip Day starts to sound really good as she finishes up stuffing her book bag. She only wishes it were a real thing as JBI rounds the corner with his mic and cameraman in tow.

“Good morning, Brittany!” JBI says cheerfully, “Do you have time for a quick interview?”

Brittany’s brows rise, “You’re asking first?”

JBI’s cheerfulness falters slightly, “New policy.”

Brittany looks around the hall for Santana but she still isn’t around so she figures she can throw JBI a bone. It’ll probably be the last interview she’ll have to do anyway and since he asked nicely, she might as well do it.

“Alright then. Shoot.”

“Awesome!” JBI then looks to the camera guy and gestures for him to start filming.

Brittany straightens up and tries to prepare herself for whatever questions might be thrown her way. Surprisingly though, the first three are pretty easy for her to answer. In fact, it starts off as a relatively legit interview void of gossipy comments.

Key words though: starts off.

“What about the loss of Karofsky and Azimio?” JBI questions, “With the change being made just two days out from the big game, are there any regrets?”

Brittany takes a moment before answering, “I’m not going to question the decision my Coach made, so no I don’t have any regrets. I don’t really consider it a loss, it was more of gain. Taking their place are two players who have been on our defense’s practice squad and they’re super excited to show everyone what they’ve got.”

JBI doesn’t seem satisfied with her diplomatic answer and presses further, “How prepared can someone possibly be with only two days of practice? Doesn’t seem fair to me.”

“Well, you can thank Karofsky and Azimio for that,” Brittany replies too quickly, “They were the ones that decided not to carry themselves like they should. Would it have been nice to get a little more practice in with the new guys? Sure, but they were the ones who let this team down, who let me down.”

“So it was a personal matter that got them kicked off the team?” JBI presses.  

Brittany grits her teeth, “If you want to know their story then go ask them for the details.”

JBI backs off with a sigh, “Okay. So with a couple key players out of the way, do you have any concerns about the outcome of tonight’s game?”

“No. We’re going out there to win tonight,” Brittany says confidently, “We’re a resilient bunch of talented players, we can overcome just about anything if we continue to work as a team. Jackson and Ridley should be given more credit because they’re doing fantastic given the short notice.”

“Hopefully that’ll reflect in tonight’s game,” JBI changes gears once he realizes Brittany isn’t going to fall into his trap, “There's also a rumor going around that the entire hockey team has been required to attend the game tonight. Can you confirm this?”

“Is that considered a rumor?” Brittany questions. JBI nods eagerly but Brittany just shrugs, “Well yeah, Coach Beiste found out that they haven’t actually attended a Titans game ever so she figured this would be the best way for them to get over their…feelings towards me and the team. A lot of their aggression comes from ignorance so hopefully tonight we can change that. It's important that we all support each other, we all play for the same school so when we succeed we all do.”

“And if you don't win?” JBI presses, “The last time the Titans competed against Carmel the score was 23 – 7; you guys were demolished. It would be pretty embarrassing now with the Puck Heads there because you’re not losing in front of just one rival, you're doing it in front of two.”

Brittany feels her heart drop to the pit of her stomach. She hadn’t thought about that before and she finds herself struggling to come up with a quick, diplomatic response.

“Why the hell would you say something like that?”

Brittany turns to the familiar voice and finds Santana walking up with this scowl on her face. The crowds of students quickly get out of her way as she saunters over to the pair. JBI looks like he’s a deer caught in the headlights and Santana thrives on it as the scowl turns devilish.

“What’s the matter with you, huh?” Santana snaps and gives him a little shove out of the way since he was blocking her locker.

“What?” JBI asks innocently. Brittany swears she sees him shiver.

“How about a good luck tonight or you’ve done an amazing job with the team this season?” Santana prompts with faux-excitement before the scowl returns, “God, the shit you spout. No wonder you’re always in a dumpster.”

Brittany stifles a laugh while Santana just shakes her head at him.

“I – I’m not always in a dumpster,” JBI counters but Santana only waves him off as she glances at Brittany. There’s just a hint of a smile there, but it’s enough for the quarterback to find her confidence again.

“Well to answer your question, JBI,” Brittany replies, “If we don’t come out on top tonight, at least we played at all. Right? Have you competed in any Championship games lately? Has anyone at this school besides the Cheerios competed in a Championship?”

JBI’s shoulders sink a little while Santana smiles proudly.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so,” Brittany adds.

“And on that note,” Santana says to him, “Kindly fuck off.”

Once JBI and his friend shuffle away, Santana’s demeanor softens just a little more.

“Sorry I missed you in the parking lot,” Santana apologizes, “I couldn’t find my keys this morning and Quinn was meant to drop off your – “

Santana’s sentence is cut off by Brittany stealing a quick kiss while they’re shielded by their locker doors being open. Santana’s lips are still a little cold from her being outside but it doesn’t last once she has Brittany’s on her. It’s soft and sweet and for a second they forget they’re even at school.

“Mornin’,” Brittany says once she pulls away wearing her infamous mega-watt smile, “How are you?”

Santana blinks at the casual tone and lets out a chuckle, “I’m good now. How are you?”

Brittany looks down the hall where JBI is now trying to interview Puck and Finn. She shakes her head at that and laughs, “Well...it’s a typical day at William McKinley.”

“There’s always something,” Santana chuckles as she starts rummaging through her locker, “How are you feeling about today?”

“I feel good,” Brittany nods, “I feel ready. A bit nervous because there’s a lot riding on this game…”

“You’ve got nothing to be nervous about,” Santana assures her with a smile, “You’re the best of the best. Both on the field and off.”

Brittany feels her cheeks pink at the compliment.

“I for one can’t wait to see you play,” Santana adds before sending her a smirk, “I’ve never seen someone look so good in that uniform.”

“Okay,” Brittany blushes, “Stop while you’re ahead or else I might make you miss first bell.”

Santana giggles seductively just as a group of freshman girls walk by them.

“Good luck tonight, Brittany!” One girl says, “You’re an inspiration to us all.”

Brittany gives them an awkward but polite smile, “Thank you.”

They all chatter amongst themselves excitedly as they move on down the hall. Santana looks at them then back to Brittany as a smirk forms.

“I see your fan club is very active today,” She teases.

Brittany rolls her eyes, “They’re excited. It’s the first Championship game for a lot of people here, they’re bound to be a little…enthusiastic. Plus there’s the whole first female QB thing that no one will forget so yeah, they’re active today.”

“Just remember who your real number one fan is,” Santana flirts with a tug to the hem of Brittany’s jersey.

“Who’s that?”

Santana tugs a little harder causing Brittany to come closer as she quirks her brow.

“Right,” Brittany smirks, “I might need more reminding later.”

“Oh really?”

“Mhmm,” Brittany hums, “I might need help warming up too.”

“I bet you do,” Santana teases as she leans in for a quick kiss, “Luckily, I’m good at doing both.”

“God,” Someone scoffs, “Get a room.”

Santana scowls at the interruption but as she and Brittany pull away they find Quinn standing there smirking. One hand is on her hip while a coat protector dangles from the other.

“I see why you couldn’t wait two more minutes,” Quinn mentions with a chuckle, “Had to go and scar everyone with whatever’s going on here.”

Santana rolls her eyes playfully, “Please, our lips barely even grazed.”

Brittany chuckles at that.

“Besides,” Santana continues, “It was either wait on your ass for who knows how long or see my wonderful, amazing girlfriend. It was a pretty easy decision to make.”

“Yeah yeah,” Quinn jokes as she hands Brittany the hanger, “This is for you, Britt.”

Brittany looks a little confused as she takes it but then she gets a peek of crimson red fabric from the opening of the bag and realizes what it is.

“Hey, it’s my jacket!” Brittany exclaims.

“I rushed the order,” Quinn shrugs as Santana helps Brittany unzip the bag.

“Thank you so much,” Brittany wastes no time putting it on over her jersey. She was never one to walk around in her letterman jacket all the time, but she’d be lying if she said it didn’t make her feel a little more complete now.

“Looking good,” Santana winks before adjusting Brittany’s collar.

Brittany blushes before turning back to Quinn, “I really appreciate this, Quinn. Let me know what I owe you so I can pay you back.”

Quinn waves her off, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure?” Brittany asks, “A rush order like this couldn’t have been cheap.”

“It’s fine, really,” Quinn assures her, “Just kill it tonight.”

Brittany only grins, “I can do that.”

\\

And the Titans do kill it…at first.

They hit the ground running and were able to score touchdowns on their first two drives, making the score 14 – 0 within the first five minutes of the game! The quick lead really got the crowd going in favor of the Titans – Brittany was sure she could hear her mom and Pete cheering her on all the way from the stands. Even the Puck Heads looked somewhat interested in the game. She and the team used all that energy and gave each play their all and then some.

For most of the first quarter, the Titans were crushing Carmel on offense and their star quarterback, Jesse St. James, was not happy about that. The guy practically threw a temper tantrum anytime the Titans scored, it was so sad. It’s a surprise the refs hadn’t called any penalties, but with a rivalry like there’s everyone was ready for the tension.

Whenever the Camels would score, the Titans were all too happy to respond with a touchdown of their own. With the amount of touchdown passes Brittany was throwing, she was nearing a record-breaking game and they were still only in the first half.

It was a shoot out up until the ball was picked off of Mike midway in the second quarter which changed the tides in favor of the Camels.

With that small advantage, it was like new life was breathed into Carmel. From then on, it felt like Brittany and the Titans were playing catch up, just hoping to maintain their 14 point lead that the Camels were quickly closing in on.

Unfortunately on the Titans’ next drive, they’re unable to make it into the endzone. The Camels use that to their advantage once again and do what the Titans couldn’t: score.

That brings it to 35 – 28 with the Titans still in the lead but only by a single touchdown.

\\

“Not today, sweetheart!” A Carmel defender taunts in Brittany’s direction after her pass was swatted down. The player jogs alongside her and flexes, “Maybe if you had guns like these you could get through me!”

Brittany does her best to ignore him, but he’s been running his mouth all night and she’s starting to reach her boiling point. She can’t lose her cool though, not tonight, so she just keeps her eyes forward in hopes that he’ll lose interest.

After another failed drive for the Titans offense, Brittany makes her way to the sidelines with her helmet in her hand. She’s given a water bottle and takes a quick drink before wiping the sweat from her face with a towel. Although she’s starting to get a little frustrated, Brittany keeps those feelings to herself as she reaches for the Titans playbook.

“There’s got to be something we haven’t tried,” Brittany mutters to herself as she flips through.

She’s looking for something that Carmel wouldn’t expect from them, something that’ll give the Titans that edge that’s been missing so far. Though it’s still early in the game, it feels like Carmel is starting to play one step ahead of them and Brittany wants to find a way to stop that before it’s too late.

As she flips through the plays, constantly tucking the fallen strands of hair from her ponytail behind her ears, Brittany continues to look for that special play when she hears someone call out to her. Turning to the voice, she finds Santana leaning on the railing behind her.

“Want me to fix that for you?” She asks with a small smirk.

It takes a second for Brittany to realize that she’s talking about her messy ponytail before she’s jogging over to close the distance between them.

Santana’s decked out even more so than usual in school spirited accessories and her Cheerios uniform is as vibrant as ever, but what catches Brittany’s eye is the #12 drawn on Santana’s cheek in red and black marker. She swears that wasn’t there when she saw Santana before the game and it makes her heart melt.

Brittany knows many people have taken a liking to her, to the point where they wear her number to show support but it hits differently when Santana does it – especially since not many people know about them being a couple yet.

“You’re wearing my number,” Brittany points out as she turns her back so that Santana can reach her ponytail. She keeps her eyes trained on the field, hoping their defense doesn’t let Carmel score.

“I am,” Santana says as her fingers delicately pull the hair tie from Brittany’s hair and starts to comb through the strands, “You don’t know how many girls on the squad wanted to wear yours, I couldn’t have that.”

Brittany laughs, “Well I am pretty inspirational.”

“I guess,” Santana teases before getting to work on the braid, “How’s it going out there? It looks like you guys are losing steam. Not getting tired, are you?”

Brittany scoffs playfully, “We’re just getting started but I can see what you mean. Their offense isn’t making it easy for us. They’ve definitely watched film.”

Santana hums again as Brittany gets lost in thought to the feeling of Santana’s fingertips gently scratching at her scalp. She’s been so focused on the game and moving around that she hasn’t noticed how cold it is out. A December winter in Ohio is very different from the ones she’s used to in Florida, but she keeps her hands hidden in her hand warmer.

“We have to score once more before the half, but I think Carmel is starting to pick up on our routes,” Brittany says, “I have to do something different. It can’t be a sneak because I don’t think they’ll let me get away with it for a second time. I can’t risk getting picked off again either because that’s even worse, but what? What won’t they expect?”

“Well,” Santana sighs as her hands move further down Brittany’s hair, “I can’t say I know what most of that means but you got this. If anyone can make something happen, it’s you. It’s still early, maybe you’ll wear them out?”

“Or maybe they’ll just get stronger?” Brittany mumbles her worries.

“You can’t think like that,” Santana tells her as she finishes up and nudges Brittany around, “You’ve turned this team around and gotten them this far. You’re going all the way, babe, I can feel it. Besides, you guys are in way better shape than them; at least, I know you’re definitely in better shape. I can guarantee that one from personal experience.”

Brittany smiles back lovingly and almost laughs when Santana accompanies her compliment with a wink. She’s not used to being the one that needs the pep talk, but she’s glad Santana’s there to offer her one anyway. She didn’t realize how much she needed the reassurance.

It makes those three little words start to float up, but she pushes them away for now. She needs her focus to be on the game.

“Thank you,” Brittany says, “It really means a lot.”

Santana only shrugs although she looks just as smitten.

“And thanks for this too,” Brittany says as she glides over her newly braided hair, “Didn’t know you could French braid.”

“It’s one of my many talents,” Santana jokes, ��Also one less thing you have to worry about. I’m sure you’ll figure out the football thing too. Maybe you could have one of the guys throw it to you instead or something? Carmel would never expect that.”

Brittany’s eyes light up, “Oh my God, you’re right.”

“What?”

Brittany gets to thinking out loud, “I’ve got Finn and even Sam. They both have pretty good arms. If I hand it off to one of them instead, I could totally slip through and get open.”

“Wait, seriously?” Santana chuckles disbelievingly “You’re really gonna try that?”

“Duh. It’s a good idea,” Brittany grins confidently, “God, I could just kiss you right n – ”

“Offense! To the field!” Coach yells out, “Where’s Pierce?”

“Shit. I gotta go,” Brittany says before quickly pulling on her helmet and giving Santana a wink, “Wish me luck!”

Santana only waves her pompoms in return as she watches Brittany jog off.

\\

Back out on the field, Brittany gets her guys ready for the first snap. She’s going to try and get them into better field advantage because no way she’s going to attempt to run for 40 yards. She can’t risk getting tackled and potentially injuring herself so that’s where Puckerman comes in handy.

“East 32,” Brittany calls out to her sides; a running play, “East 32!”

She tracks the defense’s movements, keeping her eyes on the linebacker that’s been giving her a hard time all quarter. Thankfully Jackson and Ridley have been doing a great job of protecting her thus far, but all it takes is one wrong move to change that.

“Down!” She says and readies herself for the snap, “HUT!”

The ball is thrust into her hands and she’s quick to get a good hold of it before she’s passing it off to Puck. Brittany hits him square in the chest with it and he automatically wraps the ball in his arms, making this impenetrable cage, before he’s crashing into defenders. Brittany throws a block in order to offer a little more protection, but Puck is only able to go a few yards before he’s brought down.

It’s a clean hit, but someone on the Camels makes a snarky comment and the next thing Brittany’s knows is that Puck’s getting in their face. Matt tries his best to pull him away, but another one of Carmel’s guys shoves at Matt so now everyone’s starting to get scrappy.

“Back off! Get back!” Brittany yells at her guys as the refs start to push players apart, “Come on, guys! Back off!”

With the two teams having years and years of rivalry history under their belts, Brittany was prepared for the emotions to show. She figured it would’ve happened a lot sooner, but she’s grateful that it didn’t. She needs her guys focused on the game, not getting wrapped up in a fight.

“Come on, Puck,” Brittany coaxes as she gets her hand on the Running Back, “Don’t let them get into your head. You’re better than this.”

“That asshole keeps talking shit!” Puck snaps, “I’m getting sick of it.”

“Then shut him up with a play,” She warns him, “You getting caught up in a fight doesn’t help your team. It won’t mean anything if you’re ejected, will it?”

Puck quiets down, “No.”

“Okay, stay focused then,” Brittany says then pats him on the shoulder before gathering her guys for another play.

On their next play, she hands the ball off to Puck again and this time he’s able to break free of his defenders and gets a crucial first down. Now that they’re within good range to try Santana’s idea, Brittany has to call a time out to tell her team about it.

When she does, they all look at her like she’s crazy…at first.

“I like it,” Mike nods, “I think it’ll work. It’s kind of crazy, but they wouldn’t expect it. Plus they’ve been favoring the left so far too, it’ll be good to switch it up.”

“Exactly,” Brittany smirks and looks to the time remaining before half time, “We’re just shy of the two minute mark so if we can get another touchdown in and go for a two point conversion, I think we’ll feel a lot more comfortable in our lead.”

A lot of the guys like the sound of that.

“I’ll take the snap,” Finn offers, “Or hand off? Whatever you want to do, Cap.”

Brittany smiles apologetically, “Actually I was planning on using Sam for this one.”

Sam straightens up at the mention of his name, “Me?”

“Didn’t you want to try out for QB or something?” Brittany replies, “I could use someone with your agility. No offense, Hudson.”

Sam looks over to Finn, everyone does, but surprisingly Finn just nods proudly.

“Whatever it takes to win,” Finn says and gives Sam a pat on the shoulder, “Kill it, dude.”

Sam perks up, “Okay, what do I need to do?”

Brittany goes on to explain what she’s thinking despite Coach Beiste in her ear telling her to do something different. With all do respect to her, Brittany sees an opportunity to shake things up and she can’t play it safe with the play Coach wants her to run instead. She knows that there are recruiters in the crowd watching her and the other players and she’s got to stand out if she wants that scholarship.

She gives one glance over to the sidelines where Santana and the Cheerios anxiously await the next play. They’re all ruffling their pompoms as if they were beating drums but Santana’s hands don’t move quite as fast as everyone else’s, she’s too concerned about the game. Brittany gives her an encouraging nod though before turning back to focus.

When the ball is snapped, Sam grabs for the ball but it’s not a smooth hand off. Thankfully, he’s able to secure it in time to drop back and find Brittany crossing over the line of scrimmage. He hangs in the pocket for as long as he can so that Brittany can get into position but what she doesn’t anticipate is the Carmel Cornerback closing in on her.

It’s a jump ball and Brittany leaps into the air to catch it but as she tries to, the Cornerback makes a high tackle. Brittany’s helmet nearly flies off as she’s brought down hard on her elbow. As soon as she makes contact with the turf, she knows she’s going to get an earful from Coach Beiste.

The ref calls it an incomplete pass, but it could’ve easily been picked off by that defender if they weren’t careful which would’ve been even worse.

“Try again next time, Princess!” The Cornerback laughs in her face before the other defenders join him in celebrating.

She’s slow to get up while Jackson and Ridley rush over to push the defenders away from her. The refs are already calling out the penalty against Carmel for that high hit and giving the Titans a first down, but Brittany can’t enjoy it – her elbow’s bothering her even more as she tries to loosen it up.

“Get over here, Pierce!” Coach yells, “Hudson, you’re in!”

Finn looks warily between the two before getting his helmet on and into the game. Brittany does her best to put on a brave face but as she makes it to the sidelines and the trainer starts to fuss over her, she knows she’s messed up.

“What the hell were you thinking out there?” Coach demands, “You know who you’re playing against? You’re lucky they didn’t break your arm!”

“I’m sorry, Coach, I thought we could catch them off guard,” Brittany replies.

Coach Beiste just shakes her head and looks to the trainer, “How is it?”

“Just some bruising,” The trainer responds, “She’ll be fine.”

Brittany grits her teeth as the trainer wraps an ice pack around her elbow. The cold stings but not as much as Coach Beiste’s disappointment.

Coach hardens her stare, “Hudson will close out the half. You just…go sit over there and keep icing that elbow.”

“Yes Coach,” Brittany replies before making her way over to the bench.

She feels this annoying sting in the corner of her eyes and a little in her throat, but she swallows it back. She was the one who made the decision, she has to pay for the consequences. Doesn’t mean it hurts any less though.

Brittany drops the ice pack to examine her elbow for herself, noticing the redness but she can’t tell if its from the pack or the hit. All she can do is count her lucky ducks that it’s only bruising and not something worse.

“Hey B!” Santana calls out to her again from the other side of the fence. There’s this concerned look on her face as she asks, “You okay?”

Brittany turns and gives her a weak smile and a thumbs up. That doesn’t seem to satisfy Santana though and soon the Co-Captain is making her way around the fence to Brittany’s side.

“You know you can’t keep coming over here, Santana,” Brittany says as her girlfriend starts to look her over, “Coach Beiste is already super pissed at me for that play. I don’t need her pissed about you too.”

“Please,” Santana waves off, “You saw what happened the last time someone tried keeping me away from you while you were hurt?”

“Actually no,” Brittany smirks, “My eyes were closed.”

Santana gives her a look, “Well it wasn’t pretty.”

“I’m kind of surprised you didn’t try running onto the field that time,” Brittany jokes lightly.

“It didn’t look too bad,” Santana teases as she touches Brittany’s elbow.

“Ouch,” Brittany whines and Santana quickly withdraws her hand.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry! Are you okay?”

When Brittany starts to grin, Santana swats her knee.

“Not funny,” Santana chastises before reaching for Brittany’s abandoned ice pack, “You need to keep this on there. It’ll reduce the swelling.”

“I know,” Brittany sighs, “It’s just cold, Doc.”

“It’s supposed to be.”

Brittany gives her a look and Santana gives it right back.

“Don’t be stubborn,” Santana tells her as she gently touches Brittany’s elbow, “Looks sore.”

“A little,” Brittany says softly, “But you know what would make me feel a lot better?”

“What?”

“A sweet lady kiss.”

Santana quirks her brow and tries not to laugh, “A what?”

“You heard me,” Brittany says and taps her lips, “Right here.”

Santana chuckles but she doesn’t make a move as she lowers her eyes to Brittany’s elbow, “You really should be more careful and rest this.”

Brittany’s smile falters at the way Santana evaded the request, “That’s what I’m doing.”

She doesn’t want to over think the topic change, but she can’t help but think of it as just that. They had been going so well for so long, Brittany didn’t think she’d have to experience Santana’s hesitance again.

Santana sighs, “I mean you should – ”

“I know what you meant,” Brittany answers, “Finn’s in for now but I’m finishing the game, Santana. I’ll rest it later. I’m not sitting out any longer than I need to.”

“But Britt – “

“Why don’t you want to kiss me?”

Santana freezes, her words quickly dying upon hearing Brittany’s question. Of all the progress they’ve made together, she didn’t think she’d see Santana back peddling once again.  

“I – that’s not it,” Santana stammers as her eyes drift to the stands, “There’s just a lot of important people here – scouts and my parents and reporters – and a lot of cameras too.”

Brittany swallows back the lump in her throat and tries to shake off the hurt because that’s the excuse she wants to give? Brittany shakes her head, “Sure yeah. I get it. Appearances are important and what not.”

“Wait Britt,” Santana tries with a hand on Brittany’s knee, “That’s not it at all. I mean it is, but not…I’m not hiding this time, I promise.”

Brittany bites her bottom lip, trying to keep that sinking feeling away. She wants to believe her, but they’ve been out together in public before, even kissed, so what’s different about this time? If anything, Santana should care even less about the audience now after everything they’ve been through.

“I’m trying not feel hurt right now,” Brittany mumbles and it’s barely loud enough for Santana to hear.

“Baby,” Santana sighs in a tone that Brittany isn’t used to. It makes her feel soft and warm. Santana looks up at Brittany with her eyes pretty brown eyes, “I don’t mean to hurt you. I just don’t want what happened to me to happen to you too.”

Brittany frowns at that, “What do you mean?”

“I don’t want them taking your moment from you,” Santana says, “I don’t want you to get overlooked because the focus is on us sharing a scandalous kiss or however they try to spin it. I rather the focus to be on you and the team and your inevitable win.”

Brittany stays quiet and Santana sighs.

“Maybe I’m being a little over protective here after what happened with me and Dani or dramatic or whatever but I know how this town works,” Santana adds solemnly, “They’ll take your moment like they took mine and I don’t want that for you. You’ve worked too hard for this, Britt.”

Brittany can’t find it in her to feel as hurt as before now that Santana’s explained her reasoning. She just stares back adoringly, “I think things are different this time around.”

“Are they? Just look over there,” Santana gestures to the fence where JBI and his camera friend are filming. Alongside him is another reporter from a sleezy Lima gossip magazine, “Fucking vultures. They already think they’re getting a good show.”

“But we aren’t doing anything?”

“It doesn’t matter. They’ll make something up.”

Santana flips them off and Brittany’s quick to put her hand down.

“What are you doing?” Brittany chastises, “You just said – “

“If you flip them off they can’t use the pictures,” Santana says, “I saw Kristen Stewart do it.”

Brittany frowns at her logic but doesn’t challenge it.  

“Look, there are eyes and ears everywhere waiting for you to put on a show,” Santana tells her, “Let it be the right kind of show, okay? This is your night.”

Brittany begins to smile as lets Santana’s words sink in. Her heart begs Brittany to say those three little words that keep coming up, but her head speaks first.

“Yeah, okay. Tonight’s my night.”

“Exactly,” Santana replies then teases in a lighter tone, “You and I can make a scene later, once you win this thing.”

Brittany chuckles at that, “Okay.”

“Okay,” Santana tenderly squeezes Brittany’s knee as halftime is called, “I have to go put on a show of my own now. I’ll see you after.”

This time Brittany’s the one left watching as Santana jogs off to join her squad.

\\

“We’ve got them right where we want them and you’re blowing it by not playing smart!” Coach yells at the squad in the locker room. Some of the players begin to show signs of exhaustion, but Coach’s booming voice grabs their attention, “Don’t give your lead away! You’re a better team than them. We know it, they know it so let’s play like it.”

Brittany nods to Coach’s words before she’s being rounded on.

“And you,” Coach shakes her head, “You have one of the best arms out there, kid. You’ve got scouts all over the country with their eye on you. Do you really want to blow all of that by being cocky?”

Brittany stiffens. She didn’t think that’s what she was being by taking a chance, but she knows better than to argue with her coach.

“You’ve got good instincts but think about your team,” Coach Beiste warns, “If you want to do some trick play like that, run it by me first and I’ll give you the okay on whether or not it should actually happen.”

“Yes Coach,” Brittany answers.

“As for the rest of you,” Beiste takes in a deep breath before cracking a proud smile, “As frustrating it is sometimes to watch you all play, you’re doing one hell of a job out there. We expected Carmel to bring the heat but we love playing with fire, don’t we?”

The Titans start to get rowdy at that and Coach’s smile widens.

“Keep at it and we will come out of this on top,” Beiste says, “Play hard, play smart, but most importantly have fun. This is your night, Titans, this is the legacy you’re leaving behind. Make it a good one!”

Brittany feels her chest swell with pride as she nods along to Beiste’s words.

“Alright, we’ve got a little time left so coaches talk to your groups,” Beiste motions for the secondary coaches over while she turns to Brittany, “And you, come talk to me about this trick play you tried pulling. Maybe I can help you iron out the kinks.”

Brittany’s eyes widen but she doesn’t question it and quickly gets to the drawing board.

\\

After the Cheerios’ halftime performance, the Titans come out with guns blazing. Coach Beiste’s locker room speech had the entire team revved up once again. They were more determined than ever to finish out the game on top. Whatever it took, the Titans would do it just so that they could secure the Championship title.

Brittany felt a renewed sense of motivation as well. With Coach’s speech and Santana’s words keeping her focused on the game, she was unstoppable – even if her elbow was still a little tender. If Lima wanted a show, she was going to give them the best damn one they’d ever seen.

Apparently, Carmel had the same idea in mind.

Both teams played hard, both teams played smart, but only one could come out on top. The score had been tied at 49 – 49 for the most part and with just four minutes left in regulation – one of the teams needed to make a play or they’d head into overtime.

Brittany thrived on that kind of pressure. She loves the buzz of energy, the restlessness of the crowd, the determined looks on her teammates’ faces. This is what champions are made of, moments like this where she can really show all the doubters that she can hang with the best of them.

“Alright we’ll do bootleg right,” Brittany calls the play, “Let’s use up some of the clock. Once we score, we don’t want them to have any time to make a play. Okay? Get some yardage and get out of bounds.”

Her teammates nod before they all break to get into formation. Brittany takes her place too but first glances to the sidelines where she sees Santana cheering her on. Behind her is the entire hockey team and Brittany chuckles to herself when she sees they all look pretty invested in the game too.

“Down!” She calls out and her O-Line moves accordingly, “Down…HUT!”

The ball is snapped but the pocket never forms; Jackson and Ridley get overpowered almost instantly so Brittany has to scramble. She’s looking left, she’s looking right but no one’s open. She thinks about throwing it away, but with so little time left on the game clock, she can’t risk getting intercepted.

She has to tuck the ball in and run like hell.

Matt sees Brittany’s in trouble and tries to run along with her to offer some type of protection and with his help, Brittany’s able to cut the corner on her defender. She gets a few yards before she steps out of bounds.

As she slows herself down so she doesn’t collide into any of the photographers there, a Carmel defender gives her an unexpected shove. Brittany tries to soften her fall as she’s pushed into the bystanders she was trying so hard to avoid. She can hear the player trying to taunt her while the ref places the spot of the ball, but she doesn’t bite. Brittany’s teammates yell back at the Carmel defender who laid the late hit thought and question the ref’s lack of penalty.

“Yo Ref!” Matt calls out, “You awake or you’re just going to let them get away with that?”

“I’m saying!” Jackson adds, “How much they paying you?”

“Don’t guys,” Brittany says as she tries getting them to move on, “It’s alright. I’m good.”

Although Brittany agrees with them, the ref motions for the game to continue on. She can see Coach Beiste getting all red in the face at that, but Brittany can only get her guys into position once again.

\\

With just minutes left on the clock, the Titans have to move fast and get out of bounds so they have the time to reset. If it gets to overtime then so be it, but Brittany would rather they wrap the game up now while they have the chance.

“Okay, let’s get in range first before we dazzle them,” Brittany says, “Blue 32 West. Okay? Blue 32 West.”

It’s a play action call so when the ball is snapped, Brittany fakes the hand off to Puck while Mike makes a run for the sideline. Along with Jackson, Puck offers more protection and secures the pocket long enough for Brittany to make a safe throw.

Mike brings it in virtually untouched and is able to get a few extra yards in before he’s tackled out of bounds. The clock stops but Brittany still pushes her team to hustle to their new line of scrimmage.

During the next quick huddle, Brittany tries to rally her guys. They’ve got to make a play now or at least get a new set of downs. They can’t turn the ball over at their current position, that would basically give the win to Carmel. They could try to get within field goal range and bring Kurt and special teams out for an extra 3 points?

But Brittany’s never liked doing the bare minimum to win a game.

What they need is something…unexpected.

“I want to try that trick play again,” Brittany mentions and everyone starts to disagree. She’s quick to quiet them down, “I know, I know. It didn’t work out too well the first time but that’s exactly why we should do it now. They won’t expect us to try it again. Coach worked it out with me during halftime, we just need to get to the 10 yard line.”

A few of the guys still look unsure though.

“Scared QBs don’t make plays,” Brittany tells them, “I’m not scared. Are you?”

There are mumbles of hell no and I ain’t scared.

“Okay then,” Brittany nods and holds out her fist, “Who’s with me?”

“I’m in,” Sam says as he puts his hand on top of hers.

Mike follows suit, “Me too.”

“Like I’ve always said…you’ve got balls, Pierce,” Puck chimes in, “I’m down.”

Everyone else joins and Brittany smiles at how they can all come together as one cohesive unit. They’ve grown so much since she first joined the team!

“Alright, let’s do this!” Brittany cheers.

The Titans run up to their new line of scrimmage with less than a minute left in the regulation, but before Brittany can call the next play, Carmel takes a time out.

Brittany straightens up as the ref blows his whistle to signal the time out.

“Figures,” Brittany sighs as she loosens her chin strap.

They had great momentum going for them, but Carmel’s time out throws them off a little. Everyone’s starting to get a little anxious with so little time left on the clock, but Brittany does her best to keep the Titans focused.

Meanwhile, the Camels look nervous as they glance at the Titans. It’s not too common that they have such a close game like this. They’ve been a well oiled machined for so long, stacking up wins for years but Brittany and the Titans have thrown them for a loop.

All Brittany can do is stare back determinedly.

“Look at them,” Puck jokes, “They’re scared as shit.”

“Should be,” Sam smirks, “They’re about to get their asses handed to them.”

At that, one defender – the one that laid the late hit on Brittany – looks over his shoulder at them and sneers.

“What the hell you looking at, Punk?” Puck challenges.

“Easy,” Brittany warns, “They’re just trying to throw you off. Let’s focus here. Everyone know their routes?”

She goes on to confirm that everyone knows what they’re meant to do for this next play. She feels confident about it this time, because she’s not going to let her team down twice in one night. It’s the last play of the game, the last play of her high school career. There’s no way she’s going to blow it.

“Okay this is it, guys,” Brittany tells her team, “This is what we’ve worked all season for, this moment right here. We know what to do, let’s show them. Let’s shut this game down already! Titans on me, Titans on three. One…two…three!”

Everyone puts their fists up and chants together, “Titans!”

The 30 second time out goes by quickly and soon everyone’s coming together again at the line of scrimmage. It looks like Carmel is going to blitz which would’ve stopped Brittany’s version of the trick play but not with Coach Beiste’s tweaks.

Still, Brittany stays focused. She can’t get too confident just yet. Anything can happen.

“Down!” She calls out before stomping her foot. Sam runs to her left while Puck stays in position on her right, “Hut…HUT!”

The ball is snapped and it’s kind of like a game of hot potato. First it’s in her hands then she smoothly hands it off to Puck. They split off in opposite directions while Puck keeps the ball tucked under his arm until he’s within reaching distance of Sam. The ball is then handed off for a third time as Sam makes a grab for it and quickly gets into a throwing stance.

The Camels are all sorts of confused and in that confusion, Brittany is able to slip through a gap in the defenders where Mike is drawing out his man. With all eyes mostly focused on Sam, Puck and Mike – no ones watching Brittany.

The quarterback runs as fast as she can for the endzone while Matt runs alongside her, offering protection from the Cornerback who is on her tail yet again. This time though, she’s too fast for him and when Sam launches the ball in her direction she’s wide open.

All she has to do now is make the catch.

For a moment, it feels like time stops and everyone goes quiet as the ball sails through the air in a perfect spiral. Brittany keeps her eye on it just like her dad taught her and runs like hell until she is positioned underneath of it.

But the ball is slightly over thrown so Brittany has to reach up high for it. At the last moment, she turns and jumps up, the tips of her cleats scrape the turf as she makes the catch. She hangs on for dear life as the final seconds tick away and game buzzer sounds. She does her best to secure the ball to her chest but the sudden change in momentum has her falling to the ground on her back.

But she lands with the ball still in her arms!

Her breath is caught in her throat but she quickly rolls to her side to find the nearest ref. She’s praying to anyone that’s listening that she has landed in bounds and in the endzone, because if not? That would’ve been the greatest play for nothing.

It’s the longest second in the world and she doesn’t begin to breathe again until she sees both of the ref’s arms shoot up.

“Touchdown!” The ref signals.

The crowd erupts in applause and soon Brittany’s being hoisted in the air by her teammates Santana’s got Coach Sylvester’s megaphone in hand, using it to cheer Brittany on. Even the Puck Heads are whooping and hollering for them but it’s hard for Brittany to hear any one thing. All she hears is the loud roar of the crowd, of her teammates, of the entire town of Lima celebrating the win.

On that cold December night, Brittany led the William McKinley High School Titans to their first Championship victory in over thirty years with a final score of 56 – 49.

A giant orange cooler of Gatorade is being dumped on Coach Beiste and Brittany’s being carried on the shoulders of her teammates while everyone cheers them on. The Titans were the underdogs and they put on a great show and came out on top.

Brittany’s nearly too stunned for words.

The guys eventually put her down in favor of celebrating with their friends and families and significant others who have begun to take to the field and Brittany finds a familiar sense of déjà vu as she watches on.

Just a few weeks ago, she was in this exact place – staring up at the stadium lights wishing that she could have what everyone else does. To love or be loved openly, to share this great moment with someone special just like everyone else. It’s hard not to feel envious because even though she’s surrounded by all of these people and she’s come so far, she’s still never felt so –

“Hey Pierce!”

Brittany’s heart skips a beat because she knows that voice. It’s one she didn’t expect to hear so close by but she turns anyway and finds Santana giving her this smug grin in the sea of people on the field.

It’s such a sense of relief and it gets even better because soon Santana’s jumping into her arms. Brittany surprises herself by how readily she catches her and hoists the girl up. Their smiles are big and bright and then Brittany’s being kissed so deeply and it just about takes her breath away again – so much so in fact that Brittany loses grip of her helmet and it falls forgotten at their feet.

It’s a kiss like that that makes it all worth it in the end. The battles they’ve faced on and off the field, together and on their own, it pales in comparison to this moment right here. Because in this moment, beneath the bright stadium lights, Brittany doesn’t feel so lost anymore.

In fact, she’s never felt so found.  

When they pull away from each other seconds later, Brittany wears this pleased half-smirk and the look makes Santana let out a chuckle. Brittany’s head is swimming in the high of that kiss and the win and she’s still a little dazed but then a flash of a camera makes her quickly remember where they are and more importantly – who’s watching.

She lets down Santana gently as she takes a look around uneasily. Crowds have already started to gather as the two teams form lines to shake hands and congratulate each other, but in amongst the players and coaches and family and friends are the cameras. It makes Brittany feel suddenly protective as she pulls Santana a little closer to her, remembering Santana’s words from earlier.

“You know people are starting to stare, right?” Brittany mentions softly before looking to Santana, “Not that I’m complaining or anything, because I’ve always wanted to do that – especially with you and it was everything that I’ve ever dreamed of – but there are cameras pointed at us and you said earlier that...” Brittany loses track of her thoughts as she looks to the stands and sees Santana’s family alongside her own and her jaw just about drops, “Holy shit, Santana, your dad is over there and he does not look – “

“I love you,” Santana says all in one breath.

Brittany’s swivels back to Santana in an instant, “You…”

Did her ears deceive her? How hard did she fall on that last play? Oh my God, did she hit her head? Is she concussed now? Her lips move but no words come out. Maybe she really is concussed?

“Pierce!” Coach Beiste calls out to her.

Brittany’s lips part before she’s looking to her coach.

“I got someone I want to introduce you to,” Coach tells her as she gestures to a broad-shouldered man wearing an Ohio State cap.

Brittany nods, still just as speechless. She’s caught between her present and her future, but her feet don’t move. She wants to clarify what she heard Santana say. She wants to shout her response from the top stands of the bleachers but she’s so speechless.

“You should go,” Santana tells her, “You don’t want to keep them waiting.”

Brittany swallows hard and nods. She doesn’t want Santana to get the wrong idea, but so much is happening all at once and it’s like her voice has stopped working.

“I’ve got to go deal with something too,” Santana adds and looks towards the stands where Hector and Maribel await her, “I don’t think I can run forever so...”

Brittany frowns at her cryptic words and it adds to the list of things she wants to talk about, but Santana’s already saying her goodbyes.

As she turns to walk away, something kickstarts in Brittany and she reaches out to catch Santana by the hand.

“Wait,” Brittany stammers, thankful that she has suddenly found her voice again, “I – I’ll see you at Puck’s later, right?”

Santana glances at her dad and shrugs, “If I’m not grounded for the rest of my life.”

“Pierce!” Coach calls out to her again.

“Coming!” Brittany answers and looks apologetically back at Santana, “I’m sorry I – “

“It’s okay. Go,” Santana gives her hand a gentle squeeze before letting it go, “Great game, B. I always knew you could do it.”

Brittany can only return the weak smile before they’re being drawn to go their separate ways.

[tallstars-rewrite]

Chapter 38

chapter list / previous / next

“So...where exactly are you heading now, Talltail?” Jake asked hesitantly.

Talltail stalked through the undergrowth, ears perked, tasting the air for ShadowClan as he went. He didn’t want to go after them, but if his hunch was right, they might be his best clue for finding what he was looking for.

 “I’m sure this can’t be a coincidence,” he said. “Sparrow has always been untrustworthy, even his own family rarely knows where he is! I think he’s betrayed them to those ShadowClan cats. I just don’t know why.”

“Maybe they forced him?” Jake suggested.

“Or maybe Sparrow is just a fox-hearted bastard like I always knew he was. He doesn’t really care about any cat but himself. Whatever ShadowClan is doing out here, Sparrow will be there too. I can feel it.”

“Aaand your plan is…?”

“Not attacking a whole ShadowClan patrol if that’s what you're worried about. I want nothing to do with that bunch. If I can catch Sparrow alone for a moment, I may be able to get around personally confronting them.”

 He thought then of the conversation between Stonetooth and Raggedpelt he’d eavesdropped on when he’d passed through their territory. They were looking for wandering apprentices...Could something be happening behind their backs as well? For all his hate of ShadowClan, even Cedarstar wasn’t known to mess with outsiders against clan law so blatantly. But those younger cats had a strange vendetta.

 “Lool, we'll find your dog, and I'll keep a lookout. I just want to find where they’re all sneaking around, and then I’ll decide what to do,” Talltail said. “It’s possible these cats are acting on their own. I wouldn’t put it past Darkpaw’s friends to be tormenting random rogues just for fun.”

“Talltail,” Jake padded around ahead and stood in his way. “That still isn’t a plan. I feel like you're just throwing yourself blindly into one thing at a time and not thinking through what will actually happen. I know from experience that’s usually not a great strategy.”

“I know what I’m doing, Jake.” Talltail growled.

“Are you going to kill that Sparrow cat?” Jake’s voice was accusing but there was concern in his eyes.

For several heartbeats, they glared at each other in silence.

“I don’t know Jake. What did you think I was going to do?” Talltail’s voice quivered a bit. It almost surprised himself to say it out loud. But hadn’t the thought always been there somewhere, ever since he left? It angered him realizing he felt ashamed saying it. He was hoping he wouldn’t have to go into the details of this while Jake was still here.

“You don’t even fully understand what's happening!” Jake argued. “Whatever all this is, it’s got to be more complicated than one evil cat running around and doing bad stuff just for fun! You can’t really just mean to kill someone?”

“You don’t know how bad cats can be, Jake. Maybe I'm not as good as you thought I was, but I still have to do this.”

“You can’t think this is right,” Jake’s voice was pleading. “You’re just going to kill someone you barely know, and ignore everything around it?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think is right!” Talltail snapped and Jake winced slightly at the sudden sharpness of his voice. “This is what must be done. Sparrow deserves to pay, I won’t just let him walk away freely. This is the reason I came out here, it’s the only action I can take. I can’t fix the rest of the world, but I can do this, and I will.”

Jake didn’t break his glare. “Is this part of the warrior's code?”

“I don’t know. But I’m not a warrior anymore, I was never worthy of being one to begin with. So if I dishonor the code for this, it hardly matters. I’ve already dishonored my clan, at least I can make the world better off with one less rotten cat in it.”

“Who are you doing this for then?” Jake refused to move out of his way. “Your father again?” Talltail stared at him but Jake just continued. “Look, I didn’t want to say anything because I know a lot of this is over my head, but I do know what I see in you! And all I know is every time you look upset and I try to get you to tell me why, eventually it’s that cat you start talking about. First you're miserable and then you get mad and start looking for an excuse to do anything else so you don’t have to talk about it anymore. Why are you doing all this for a cat who made you so miserable?”

Talltail gritted his teeth. “I’ve told you, it’s not about me!” 

“But it’s your life, your decision, who else is it supposed to be about!? I can’t help but wonder if this thing you’re trying to do is actually going to make you feel better at all. I don’t want to see you get yourself hurt or do something you’ll regret. Do you really think this is going to fix anything that’s wrong?”

“It has to.” Talltail’s voice was hoarse. “There’s nothing else left that can. This mission is all I have left, that’s all there is to it. I’m sorry I’m not who you thought I was. I’m not actually admirable, or heroic, I’m not even a warrior anymore. You don’t have a reason to keep standing by me.”

“I know I don’t understand a lot of things, but I know that’s not true.” Jake’s hostility melted away, replaced by sadness and worry. “I never liked you just because I thought you were some mythical warrior. I liked you because when I was alone and lost, I met a strange cat in the woods who did his best to help me. You helped even though it could have gotten you in trouble, just because I needed it. I met a gentle cat who didn’t want to hurt anyone unless he had no other choice. And I liked you because you listened to me when I talked and thought I wasn’t just a trouble-making flea-brain. I’ve felt more confident in myself when I traveled with you then I ever have! That’s why I stayed by you. And that’s how I feel, so you can’t tell me I’m wrong about it!”

Talltail felt the furious voice at the back of his head rearing up. He didn’t know why he was getting so angry hearing Jake say that. He wanted to scream No! No! You have got it all wrong, I didn’t even think that hard about helping you, it doesn’t say anything about me. How can you not get it!? How can you not see the truth about me!?

“You need to go home,” was the only response he eventually managed to choke out. Talltail didn’t want someone to try to make him feel better, and he didn’t have the energy to argue why Jake should see things the way he did. “You know where the scent trail you need to follow is, just head back through the trees. But this isn’t your journey anymore. It’s mine, and you can’t go with me.”

“What?”

“Go home, Jake. Go find Dusty. That’s more important.”

Jake looked utterly crestfallen. “Don’t make me choose that.”

“I’m not asking you to choose, I’m making the decision for you.” With that, Talltail wheeled and began to sprint. 

It was an unfair and abrupt way to leave, but Jake would never be able to catch up. Talltail’s mind was muddled with frustration. He couldn’t be around this questioning. It was wrong of him to let Jake stay so long. It was wrong to let himself get so comfortable. It had only made things harder.

Finally, he skidded to a stop. Talltail was standing alone panting in the quiet woods, glancing behind him, and already feeling guilty. He was supposed to help Jake home, but instead he’d gotten overwhelmed and left him alone. Just another cowardly act on the pile. His heart ached horribly in a way he hadn’t expected. He didn’t want to leave Jake behind like that, especially after they had gotten so close. Of course Jake wasn’t going to react well to all this, that’s why they were supposed to separate at the park. But instead all he’d done was get closer, and it wasn’t fair.  Not because Jake didn’t deserve it; if Talltail wasn’t the way he was, he might want to be with Jake forever. But sooner or later, Jake would see what he was really like. Was it better to just pull the thorn out quickly and stay away? 

But...surely Jake deserved more than that? A proper apology at least, not him just turning tail and running like a mouse. But how was he supposed to see his friend home now after snapping at him and fleeing like that?

Talltail wasn’t even sure where he was. He knew he was skimming clan territory now, though he wasn’t sure exactly where. ShadowClan scent crisscrossed through the bushes, fresh. His fur began to prickle as mixed among them he couldn’t help noticing another cat scent, distinctly not ShadowClan. 

He didn’t have long to think about his next course of action before a faint yowl in the far distance made him freeze. He listened with his ears pricked, wondering if he’d imagined it. An angry snarl echoing through the otherwise silent trees confirmed it was very real. Talltail looked behind him half expecting to hear angry ShadowClan warriors preparing to leap on him, but the sounds weren’t that close. His heart dropped instantly. Had Jake tried to follow him? There was no time to think it through, he just turned and ran faster than he ever had, paws carried by a sharp and awful surge of fear that shot through him and made his heart feel like it was going to claw out of his chest.

When Talltail saw the shape of a cat in a break of the undergrowth, he barely stopped himself, almost tripping over his own gangly legs. Then he felt his breath catch in his throat. 

The small dark cat had been watching something intently through the bushes, crouched and nearly hidden from view, but when Talltail stopped, they whipped around to stare at him with two different colored eyes widened with surprise. It took a heartbeat for Talltail to even fully comprehend who was standing in front of him.

 It couldn’t be as easy as just stumbling into him, after all his fruitless searching, right? It took only one heartbeat more for a burst of rage to rise up his belly. Sparrow, for his obvious confusion, immediately sensed the sharp hostility radiating off of Talltail like heat from a fire.

But the angry yowl he’d heard earlier passed the bushes ripped his focus away for just a moment. He knew Jake’s voice. That moment was all it took for Sparrow to flee faster than a startled bird. Talltail stared after him, frozen for only a heartbeat. But he couldn't give chase.

He burst into a clearing to see a whole patrol of cats, and an unfortunately familiar dark brown cat with a crook in his tail glaring down at Jake, who was picking himself up with a fresh red line over his eye.

“I don’t have time for you!” Jake snarled. Talltail couldn’t believe his boldness.

“Make time,” Darkpaw hissed. “I told every rogue and kittypet to stay out of these woods!”

“I can’t tell you how much I don’t know or care what you’re talking about. I’m busy!”

Darkpaw went to advance on him again, and Talltail threw himself forward, shoved past another startled apprentice, knocking them to the ground and smacked into Darkpaw, sending the obnoxious brute sprawling nose first into the grass. Jake leaped out of the way and Talltail stood in front of him arching his back at the patrol. Surprisingly, most of the patrol were clearly young. He recognized a new warrior, Clawface, Ashheart’s brother Frogtail, and three apprentices, some of which were too new for him to recognize.

“What sort of patrol are you supposed to be?” Talltail spat, as Darkpaw stumbled back into his rank, only regaining his boldness when he realized Talltail had come alone.

“None of your business, rabbit-chaser,” Darkpaw hissed.

Jake shouldered past Talltail to stand beside him. “We don’t care about you, so leave us alone!”

“You runts aren’t even supposed to be here, are you?” Talltail challenged. “What reason could you possibly have for being so far out? You don’t have any claim on this place, go back to your territory.”

The group advanced closer to them and Talltail had to step back. Apprentices or no, many of them were plenty experienced enough to be dangerous.

Darkpaw spit in his direction. “You’re not really in any position to tell us to do anything. I’ve just been looking around for potential connections. Seeing how useful rogues can be. The town wasn’t as promising as I’d hoped but it was worth a shot,” he shrugged.

Talltail glared at him. “Does your leader know you’re breaking clan law like that?” 

Darkpaw rolled his eyes. “All the clans break the law. Yours did too. There’s nothing actually holding any of them to keeping it, other than their word, which no cat has any trouble breaking. We have no choice but to do the same if we don’t want to be overtaken, and everyone will come to realize that in time. The other clans just make us worse, waiting pressed up against our borders to take advantage of us. The strongest warriors have to be wise enough to strike first, by whatever means necessary.”

“Warriors, huh?” Talltail scoffed. He shifted his gaze to Clawface, “and what sort of warrior takes orders from an apprentice?”

Clawface didn’t react. “I listen to sense. Wherever it happens to come from doesn’t bother me.”

Talltail darted his gaze around looking for some way to stall until he could think of a way out. But there was no obvious distraction presented to them like there was in the alley.

 A cold cruel glimmer flashed in Darkpaw’s eyes. “You know, sometimes I think age does a cat no good. They overthink. They cling to old useless ways, and hesitate in doing what obviously needs to be done. We, however, have no issues about it.”

Talltail was aware of Jake beside him, bristling but his fear scent was obvious under his aggressive demeanor. He didn’t have any ideas either.

“There’s probably a reason a cat your age doesn't have his warrior name yet. You think this will bring you closer to it?” Talltail shot back.

Darkpaw bared his teeth in a grin “Oh I’ll have it very soon, don’t worry. But it makes no difference to you anyway. We’re done talking now, you're boring me and I don’t need you to go tattling to anyone.”

Talltail glanced at Jake. They had to try to run, they couldn't fight this many cats, and Jake was already bleeding and trying to hide a limp. They could kill him, how am I supposed to protect him? 

Clawface lunged and Talltail swatted at him. The scarred warrior ducked his blow but Jake hit him across the muzzle with surprising strength and Clawface winced back.

“You’ll pay for that one kittypet,” he snarled. 

There was a growl from behind them, and another large apprentice began to advance. They were being surrounded.

Talltail had just begun to really panic when Jake perked up and turned away from Clawface, looking somewhere off into the trees.

“Are you ignoring m-- what in StarClan is that?” Clawface’s eyes widened as he followed Jake’s gaze. 

Talltail caught a stench he never thought he’d be so happy to smell. Heavy, thundering footsteps turned the ShadowClan cat's attention off them. There was a rapidly approaching wild rustling through the woods, the cracking of sticks and undergrowth being trampled, and then, an enormous grizzled furry shape came barrelling out of the bushes, bearing down on the startled patrol with yellowed sharp teeth flashing in the sunlight.

“By the stars, fall back! Retreat!” Darkpaw screeched, bowling over another apprentice as he scrambled to get away.

There was a cacophony of yowls and squeals as the massive dog ran straight at the cats with little heed for anything in his way. He stomped on several of them, massive teeth and tongue lolling in his mouth as he snapped the air over Clawface’s ear. No cat would be foolish enough to think their claws could pierce thick fur like that. The ShadowClan cats were gone in a moment, howling into the trees, leaving their former prisoners to their presumed slobbery fate.

“Dusty!” Jake leapt at his friend and headbutted his leg. Dusty simply wagged his tail and stared after the running cats. He looked as though he would have chased them if he wasn’t busy now drooling on Jake’s head.

“I take back every bad thing I ever said about that dog,” Talltail laughed nervously. Adrenaline was still coursing through him. That was way closer than the alley cats. Dusty turned to him and Talltail tried not to flinch away from his greeting sniff and the feel of spit dripping onto his shoulder. The mouse-brained dog hadn’t even needed to hurt the renegade ShadowClan cats. Talltail felt a bit of pride that he had nothing to fear from what he knew all too well appeared to be a horribly fearsome beast.

“You’re brilliant, Dusty, I knew your nose hadn’t gone that bad,” Jake purred louder than a rumbling monster. “I can’t believe you followed me all the way here, you big fluff-brain. Cris has got to be so worried about you!”

Something caught Talltail’s attention then. Dusty was panting harder than normal, as if the dash into the clearing had taken everything out of him. The old dog's deep brown gaze looked faraway as he licked his lips and sank to the ground. The way he panted and tensed, Talltail could tell something was wrong. He may not know a lot about dogs, but he recognized an animal trying to hide pain when he saw it. There was a peculiar scent on Dusty, one he’d smelled on him before, though it had been faint. But it was a familiar scent, one that made him nervous. A sick scent.

“Jake,” Talltail said “I think something’s wrong with him.”

Jake stopped and looked closer at Dusty who was half way between sitting and laying down, but looking like he didn’t want to do either. “What?” Jake mewed. “What’s wrong? Is it the sickness? It’s not bad again is it?”

Dusty hesitantly whined. 

“What sickness?” Talltail asked.

“The...The one I mentioned he had before. Cris took him to the vet and he came back smelling strange, like you did when you went, and his fur was shaved off on his belly. I think there was something inside him that was hurting him but...I thought it was gone.”

Talltail walked closer to the dog, who didn’t acknowledge him much, he was staring blankly ahead, breathing hard. He must hurt badly, Talltail thought, sympathetically. He sniffed at the dog's belly. It was hard to see anything through the fur. He was no medicine cat either, certainly not a dog medicine cat. What did abnormal look like? 

“I...Haven’t been paying close attention,” Jake sounded guilty. “Why? Is that bad?”

Talltail thought of Hen then, and realized what felt familiar. The scent, the sluggishness and pain in his step. Dusty has been really tired lately, Jake had told him.

“He shouldn’t have come after us,” Talltail said. “You need to get him home.”

Jake looked distressed “I-I will. Come on Dusty, I know you’re tired but I know the way back. It shouldn’t take long if we go straight there.” 

Dusty seemed to know what Jake wanted, and pushed himself to his paws to lumber painfully after, his head low and tail dragging. It really must have been hard to run like he did, Talltail thought. But he knew Jake was in danger. Talltail felt terrible ever doubting the dog. Who was he thinking dogs couldn’t love packmates as much as any cat? Even if he didn’t talk. 

“I’m so sorry, Dusty.” Jake mewled, his voice shook and the sound of it made Talltail’s heart ache. “I left without saying anything and worried you, you shouldn’t have had to come after me.”

Talltail watched them go for a moment, and found himself following slowly. He felt like he had stones filling his stomach up with the guilt that weighed him down. It’s not Jake’s fault he’s out here. He only left because I needed him to. They’d both be home where the twoleg could help.

He cast a quick glance over his shoulder to where the patrol had disappeared. To where Sparrow had disappeared. Talltail had suddenly come so close to his target, he almost couldn’t process it. 

But he had to follow Jake, no matter how close Sparrow was. He had to see them home. If anyone tried to follow them again, Dusty could only bluff a hostile patrol once.

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[sassooda]

Worlds Away JJK AU / Chapter 24 - These Four Walls 🔞

w/c -6,406

           Naoya finds himself unable to sleep despite feeling the comfort of her next to him after their bath. As he shifts to sit himself up in the bed, her body subconsciously adjusts around him before laying her head lower along his abdomen. He’s ensnared by his own anxiety as he watches her sleep. Lies are not something he wants to start off with but how does he explain his plan to her? The pressure weighs on him as he claims to care about her. How does he tell her that he needs Getou alive in order to help him deal with Gojo?

           The strategy was always to bring the Zenin clan back as leaders and she’s been engraved into this for years now, way before they ever actually met. His only focus then was to fulfil what he was taught was his destiny. He received the ancient technique along with the traditionally inherited ones but they kept this a secret in fear of the Gojo clan retaliation. They wanted to at least strengthen Naoya, let him grow older, stronger, more resilient…things that would be necessary if he were to ever stand a chance against Satoru. It was not thought to be below Gojo to nonchalantly kill a possible threat back then, child or not. He was truly something else.

           The Zenin ancient technique is the manipulation of scalar warfare via scalar energy waves. This energy naturally exists amongst us but it travels completely differently than sound or visible light…much faster too. He can summon great amounts of energy and direct it to a coordinated location from any distance and with almost complete accuracy, he’s yet to fully master that part. With the energy traveling faster than the speed of light its an almost guaranteed win even if you don’t factor in how devastating the impact is. He’s not even informed Choso of this although he wishes he could now openly as his thoughts travel to alternatives.

           His left hand finds itself wrapping around her shoulder as she peacefully dreams. His fingers fumble with the loose cut off shirt that Choso let him borrow for her. He really should have thought about clothes. He looks down and lightly brushes his fingers along her shoulder blade and back while he sighs to her perfection. “You really messed my entire world up…” He whispers with a smile, knowing that he’s more than happy for it. He still thinks it’s better to be rid of Gojo for sure, he doesn’t really trust him with her or as a shaman in general. What he doesn’t want is for her to hate him because of it though and he knows that’s likely, even more so if he keeps these facts from her.

           His eyes take to their surroundings. ‘These four walls…’ He despises keeping her locked in here, a room without windows, living a life without freedom. The horrific indention in the floor from where Getou attacked her ends up being where his vision travels next and he feels as if he could scream in frustration. They’ve since cleaned the blood but it doesn’t matter, the memory stains his mind. He looks to the tub next, probably trying to ease his thoughts but he can’t help but notice the pink ring around the inside from where there’s still some bloody residue. They never cleaned their legs before getting in the first time together so inadvertently, the ring formed. ‘I need to wash that…’

           She stirs beside him and nuzzles her head into him further after bringing her left arm across his hips. His mood improves, causing him to beam as he reaches for the now dark grey covers to pull them over her more. The silver sheets were ruined after the first night as well from where they laid down right after she was healed. He wonders if there’s even the slightest chance that he can spare Gojo and him not be a problem. The original plan would probably be easier but he just can’t bring himself to hurt him knowing it would hurt her in return. Toji hasn’t even entered his train of thought before now and he sinks a bit knowing Toji wants her as well. “What the fuck am I supposed to do?” Naoya’s certainly not going to back down, especially if she wants him in her life but he’s also not aligned with the idea of fighting Toji, he admires and respects him far too deeply.

           He glances around the room again and comes to the odd realization that these four walls have also been a blessing in a way. Only here were they able to truly discover each other, his intentions finally understood by her. The words that left him and the actions he demonstrated always came out wrong before and this caused her to remain weary of him for quite some time. He thinks back to the first night when he let it slip that he loves her and how understanding her reaction was. ‘There’s no way she could have known…’ Understanding that he has a lot to learn about her still, he brushes the suspicion away. He takes his right hand and grabs her left one that’s thrown over him, bringing it to lie on his chest. He sighs as he debates further about how he should move forward.

           Truly, the one thing he wants to ensure over everything now is Getou’s demise. ‘That fucker has it coming.’ He’s never heard Choso’s opinion exactly but he has a hunch that he’s with him as far as Getou is concerned. ‘What a sneaky business this is.’ That makes him think of Sukuna now and he wonders if worse came to worse…would he be able to nullify him as well? Naoya now feels like he’s seemingly against the world aside from Choso. His gut harbors a bad feeling about what’s to come, he can’t ignore it.

           His grip on her hand became firm while he sorts through initiatives and he has to remind himself to relax again. Toji has been calling him nonstop and he’s purposefully disregarded this partially because he doesn’t want to tip off Getou but he’s also ashamed that Getou was able to rip out her wing…while he had her. If he does return Toji’s call, would he even be willing to talk? Would he be willing to help? Naoya finds it doubtful considering he reached out to him before and was shut down. ‘If it’s to get her out of here unharmed though…maybe he will be willing then.’ The more he ruminates over the obstacles he finds himself leaning against the original plan. He would rather her be safe over having Gojo taken out. He can’t prove it but he knows there’s something Getou’s hiding and he fears what that may turn out to be. Getou is closing in on him fast and Naoya’s understanding that there aren’t any limits or types of etiquette that Getou will follow so he has to remain sharp. Before Elska arrived, he planned on not hovering over like he has been in fear of how Getou would react…now he feels like he can’t leave her alone because of how Getou has acted.

           As his left-hand trails over her back under the loose shirt, his fingernails lift a corner of her seal. She’s already unable to protect herself with cursed energy in here so he loathes her being without her wings as well. ‘Fuck it.’ He pinches the lifted corner and peels the talisman away. ‘She needs to be left with some form of defense just in case.’ Right in that moment, as he’s crumbling up the paper into a wadded ball, he comes to terms with the fact that he officially wants her out of there. “You deserve better…” he sighs deeply as he looks to the ceiling.

           “But you’re not so bad…”

           He jumps a bit from her sudden response and waits to see if she’s actually awake. His eyes are trained on her as he sees her open her own to look up at him. She smiles and sits up as if she’s going to leave the bed but she just repositions herself to lay against his chest in a semi upright position as well.

           “Naoya?”

           “Yes, princess?”

           She giggles to the pet name as she knows she is probably the furthest thing from that. “What’s on your mind? You usually snore a bit…”

           He’s caught off guard by this and lets out an abrupt “Ha!” as he found it pretty funny. “Do I now?” He dances his fingertips along her back to tickle her and she jolts awkwardly into him while they laugh.

           “You do indeed…but it’s not loud, it’s actually kind of cute.” She smiles against him while she listens to his heartbeat and the way he fills and empties his lungs. ‘So wonderful…’ There’s a comfortable silence that washes over them but she asks again, “What’s bothering you though?” When he exhales sharply, she lifts herself up to face him. His eyes seem melancholy and heavy when he looks back to her and she can sense that he’s really worried about something. “Naoya, please…just tell me.”

           “Elska,” He begins as he tries to uplift his demeanor, “This isn’t a good place for you, I was selfish when I thought it would be.” He glances down at her lap but can feel her eyes on him so he meets them. His hand is still around her left one so he squeezes it slightly and brings it to his lips. “I want to be with you but I have to take care of a lot of issues first.” He can now feel his worried expression as she raises a concerned eyebrow at him.

           “I will help you with Getou.” The apprehension on her face fades to a determined one as she brings her right hand to run through his hair. He smiles to it but she can tell he was about to negate her words, he was clearly against the idea.

           “He is why I have to get you out of here.” He’s watching her as she shifts to straddling him and he gulps down air as she finds her balance. “You still have no idea what he’s capable of…”

           “I don’t want you around him either Naoya, he holds malice towards you.” She clicks her tongue, “I will slice him to ribbons if he even tries to harm you.” Her eyes began to glow at the end of her statement, reflecting the light off of Naoya’s fair complexion.

           He wasn’t expecting her to say any of that, he finds her to be much more delicate than she maybe is. “Consideration of this matter is over, I will not allow you to fight him.” He feels like he sounded brutish or insensitive so he begins to reword it, “What I meant was…”

           “I know you’re worried Naoya but you are not alone in this.” Her hands search his arms aimlessly before progressing, “I want to crush him for what he did to me in front of you. For the way he made you feel.” Her eyes are still glowing as her hatred forms inside. When she drank from him after Getou’s attack, she was able to feel every bit of sorrow he experienced…all of the guilt from the situation as well. “Why did you remove the seal if you weren’t wanting me to fight?”

           “I want you to be able to defend yourself Elska… my stomach turns at the thought of something like that happening again. This is why you have to go.”

           “Then you’re coming with me.” Her words felt strong as she stiffens her expression to stand against his reluctancy. “Regardless of how we do this, I’m not leaving without Itadori or you.”

           He feels his chest become heavy with emotion as her words warm and chill him all the same. “I’m sure Gojo and Toji will be fine with that.” He scoffs to himself as he places a hand on his head and apologizes. “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just…ughhh…”

           She sees his vexation and doesn’t take offense, she knows better than to think he’s so blatantly rude, ‘He’s just upset…’ She sees him struggling to finish his meaning now being a little more flustered than before so she leans down and kisses him. The way it feels when he kisses her back is indescribably beautiful. As much as she doesn’t want to pull away, she does but only so she can bring his head to her chest. While resting her chin above him, she runs her fingers through his hair trying to help him find some reprieve. “Why is it so important that Getou lives Naoya? What purpose were you claiming he serves before?”

           This was the part he was apprehensive about and he hesitates to speak as he’s already decided to tell her the truth, he just doesn’t want her to pull away. After a long sigh he wraps his arms around her and admits, “Well…it was to help me deal with Gojo.” He closes his eyes against her as he waits for the inevitable movement of her trying to be free of his grasp. She doesn’t budge though nor does she say anything so he thinks to continue, “That would mean keeping you here though…and I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m going to try and talk with Toji to come up with a plan.” She moves now and pulls away but not as he expected.

           She’s looking down into his eyes and knows that hurt is displayed on her face. “You were planning on killing Sati this entire time?” She thinks back to when he was sealed and wonders why they wouldn’t have done it then…also extremely grateful that they didn’t.

           “The plan was to try…or at least seal him again.” His voice is dampened with regret but he’s glad he was able to be truthful.

           “Naoya… you can’t!” She’s unsure how to think through this situation. Her heart has been split into three…three for Christ’s sake. ‘Nanami was right about us being completely dysfunctional.’ She feels the severity of the situation and is baffled by how she had no idea…Naoya doesn’t have that kind of taste at all.

           “That’s not the design anymore,” He brings his right hand to cup her cheek and uses his thumb to wipe away her tear that was forming, “There’s no way I could go through with it now, I’m incapable of putting you through that Elska.” He sees her expression soften as she grabs his hand with her own. “Now with that being said, I can’t promise not to fight him…I may not have a choice.”

           At first her brow furrows to this but she understands shortly afterwards that he’s meaning Satoru may attack him. “I will protect you Naoya, as you’ve done for me here… they just need to know that and it will be fine!” She almost rolls her eyes to her own statement as she nods to him to show she wasn’t actually that delusional. “I mean, we can try to explain at least…” Her eyes widen for a second as she darts her eyes back to him. “I actually don’t think Sati hates you at all Naoya… perhaps quite the opposite.”

           He’s confused by this and is convinced that she’s making a joke so he smiles but the intensity in her eyes doesn’t diminish. “What do you mean by that?” He’s genuinely curious as he thinks about all of their interactions and how friendly they weren’t.

           She stares blankly into the bed as she wonders to herself, ‘Yea how exactly should I explain this one? Would it be better not to?’ She’s nervously looking at him now as he patiently waits for clarification. “Not to bring up bad deeds but do you remember the time when you did have him sealed and I came searching for him?” Naoya grins immediately but then composes his face as he tries to pretend that he still doesn’t enjoy that memory. She returns a playful look to him and he bashfully shrugs his shoulders and says, “What? It was kind of hot before the almost dying part…”  She blinks slowly to his response and looks away as she’s even more unsure now if she should clear this up or not. She wants to laugh but is somewhat concerned. ‘What are the fucking odds? Please God, no… I don’t think I could handle him too…’

           “What is it? Was that weird and not funny?” Naoya felt the disconnection in the conversation after he spoke and worries that he was far too comfortable with her.

           She looks back to him with caution, “He felt the same.” She shoves Naoya’s chest so he falls down against the pillows, “You two are such perverts!”

She laughs as he gathers she’s not bothered and belts out high-pitched chuckles as he’s forms, “Are you saying he really wasn’t ready to kill me?!” He’s in disbelief as she’s still giggling above him.

“No and I really don’t think he hates you Naoya...I can’t tell you exactly what he feels but it’s not hatred.” Both of her hands are on his chest now as their voices fill the room. “Don’t get any bright ideas though, he does NOT need encouragement in that realm.”

He sits up slightly and is wondering if he’s over thinking her statement but asks anyways, “Has he tried to make that happen?” He feels her tense up a bit. “Elska?”

“This is why I took a minute to speak, I feared it would lead to this…” She looks down at him as her eyes warn him of something he really doesn’t want knowledge of.

He sits up further as he adjusts his arms to hang off her waist, “I’m not going to like this I’m guessing…” She nods no and his mind begins to wander at who Gojo would have involved with them, ‘Surely she wouldn’t act this way if it were a random person…’ Then it hits him. His eyes grow wide with shock as he looks back up to her. “TOJI?”

She’s waiting for his disgust to become apparent and shifts her weight to her shins and knees to be prepared for him to want her to move off of him. “Yes…” Her eyes are fixed onto his abdomen as she savors the image fearing she may not be able to see him from this angle anymore, in this context. He doesn’t say anything but she hears him huff a couple of times. The anticipation of his rejection is killing her so she starts to climb off of him but he stops her.

“Where are you going?” He grabs her by the waist gently to anchor her back into his lap. She still doesn’t look at him but can tell she’s tearing up. “Don’t cry, it’s…not what I was expecting is all…I just needed to…internalize that.” He guides her chin back towards his direction. “It’s ok…I really just would never have seen that coming. Gojo seems way too greedy to me.” He tries to smile awkwardly as he hides his discontent of knowing him and Toji did that with her. There’s no doubt in his mind now though that it would’ve been Gojo’s idea as he thinks back to the day he was taking Elska from behind in front of him. “So THAT’S what that look was…” He sees her confusion and says, “Of course I did not want that image in my head but I’d rather be aware than dumb.” He wraps his arms a little bit tighter around her, “And Gojo gave me a look that day when I was…when we were…” He smiles widely, “I was expecting hateful eyes but they weren’t…and now that makes sense.” He laughs wholeheartedly as she finally smiles again. “I’m not so eager to share though,” He gives her a quick peck on the lips, “I just didn’t mind him having to watch.” He winks to her and growls into another kiss as he’s trying to encourage her to relax again.

She’s beyond relieved but still embarrassed about the topic of conversation. ‘I kind of asked for that one though.’ There’s no way for her to understand how his mind navigates these things as his reaction kind of surprises her. She can tell that he’s ruffled by it but he’s so genuinely calm over the matter as if he doesn’t see fit to place her with any blame. She definitely didn’t initiate it but she was still a participant.

They stare into each other for a brief moment before Naoya asks quietly, “So…did you…” He’s dragging his feet at this point, “…did you like it?”

           She wishes she could hide under the covers or hold her breath underwater in the tub, anything to help her escape this question. She looks up to the ceiling and takes a deep breath as she can’t help but feel so strange having this discussion with Naoya while straddling his lap. “If I’m being honest…” His eyes are overflowing with a kind of curiosity, “I think I could have if things had gone differently but overall, not really.” If it weren’t for Toji she might not have experienced much pleasure at all that night but doesn’t want to exactly hash out the details with Naoya.

           “Hmm…” He leans his lips into her collar bone and drags his tongue to her neck before planting a deep and sensual kiss. He hears her breath shudder and smiles while biting his lip before pulling away. He’s not upset with that answer at all aside from the indication that one of the two at least caused her displeasure. “I will say that I don’t find Gojo to be the healthiest or best of influences and I just really hope he didn’t hurt you. I have faith in Toji but not him.” Despite learning this new information, he actually is overcome with relief. This is that small chance he was hoping for, a way to not have to harm Gojo in the process of everything. “If this is the case though then maybe him and I won’t fight after all…” He looks back up to her and feels goosebumps as she runs her nails along his scalp.

           “Now that we have that figured out… it’s settled, we leave together.” She sees his face as he’s hesitant to promise such things. “If I catch wind that you try anything different, I will take matters into my own hands regarding Getou…do not try me.”

           He’s not heard that tone from her before and felt the authority of her statement. He buries his face into her chest as he lets out a muffled and stressed noise “God damn it Elska, why won’t you just let me protect you?”

           She’s trying to keep a straight face as he shakes his head slowly into her breasts, wanting him to know that she’s serious. “I am a warrior princess, ok? Granted I can’t really prove that since I can’t even summon energy here but I still have ways to harm.”

           He chuckles to her words, ‘Warrior princess’ not in doubt but just adjusting to how feisty she can be. “There’s talismans in the walls.” He looks up to her now, feeling his heart skip a beat with how endearing her face is despite his words. “They had to be arranged a certain way but if you look closely along the wall by the tub,” he points in the direction as she turns her body to see, “There’s a small ‘x’ over there. Once I send my fist through that part of wall and remove one of the chaining talismans, they will all become unusable.” He smiles to her with pride as he truly thought most of this through. “If something happens, just do exactly that. I’d already have done it if we had another way to hide your presence…Getou would know immediately otherwise.”

           “What if he notices the talisman from my wings missing?”

           “He shouldn’t fucking be in here to see.” His eyes narrow instantly to the thought. ‘That’s not a bad point though and what if he uses a Titer?’ The uneasiness creeps back through him. “I’m going to try and go see Toji tomorrow though…but that means I won’t be here for a while.” He winces to his words. “I’ll ask Choso if he can come accompany you while I’m away. He was even thinking to bring Itadori over at some point if he could.”

           “I would love to see him! He’s still doing well right?” It’s such weird situation, her and Itadori both being held prisoner by people that genuinely care about them. She almost can’t help but laugh outwardly at the vast strangeness of this all. “I’m glad he has a brother though and Choso seems very nice…although he’s also terrifying.”

           “Choso is very powerful, that’s probably why. He’s capable of so many things too, I’m not even sure that I’m privy to all of his abilities.” He’s proud to say that, he knows his new friend is a damn good one to have on his side. “He’s a good guy though, I promise.” Their smiles meet each other and he sighs as he stares up at her, wanting to touch every part of her. He instead rests his hands on her thighs and attempts to save his sanity.

           “I trust your judgement about him.” She feels his eyes roaming her discretely and smirks at how something as simple as that is enough to rile her up when it comes to him. He knows he’s been caught because he smiles slyly in response before pulling her down towards him, their tongues greeting each other. “Stop teasing me Zenin…”

           “It’s rough, isn’t it?!” His cackles are deep and mixing into moans as they allow themselves a few moments of bliss. It doesn’t take but a couple of seconds before their panting and whining into each other’s mouths. His desire to have her races through him as he feels a moment of weakness and lifts his hips into her. Her gasp made his head spin as all of the blood his body holds seems to flood into his groin. “Baby…” One hand laces into her hair as he tilts her head back to tongue and nip her neck as he strains his own to sit up enough to do so. Her moan from his ministrations brings her submissiveness to the forefront of his mind and he can no longer deny the situation as he grows beneath her. He’s sure she can feel it, he’s not wearing pants and she’s not wearing any underwear. When he nudges his hips again, he can feel how wet she is and he sends his hand between her legs to conduct more. He still holds her hair loosely but has now made it to where their faces are inches apart. He sends one finger into her slowly and watches her expression as he glides it in. He pulls her down further to kiss him as he then sends in a second one. She whimpers into his lips and he feels like he’s going to burst.

           His mind is screaming for them to stop, she could release her pheromones at any time. “Are you ok right now?” He breathlessly whispers in between their kissing. She doesn’t feel overheated nor are her eyes glowing but he wants to make sure. She says nothing but smiles and bites her bottom lip as she sends her own hand down between them to guide herself over him. He felt his eyes widen as he feels her wrap her fingers around his shaft. “Baby…wait…” but she doesn’t. Within seconds she’s slowly sinking into him, never stopping until he was completely seated inside of her. He moans loudly as he’s wanting her desperately but is also frustrated by the situation. She bends down completely and resumes kissing him while slowly rocking her hips, causing him to have to bend his knees so that he didn’t slip out…even though he knows he needs to stop this. “God damn it Elska…” He forces speech through gritted teeth as he wantonly glares at her unable to truly be angry but is still almost agitated. He wraps his hand back into her hair and tilts her chin up again. He kisses her jaw and places his left hand on her right thigh and grabs it roughly, not enough to hurt her but enough for her to know he’s kind of pissed off. She moans disapprovingly when she realizes she’s unable to ride him while he holds her thigh down and struggles to meet eyes with him as he’s still holding her head back.

“You’re going to make me do this and I will regret it when your pheromones release…” He thrusts into her once and she seductively whines. “I want you so fucking badly…” He thrusts into her a second time, only deeper and her cries fill the room as she’s unraveling above him. His hands release her hair and she sends her lips onto his without hesitation. He’s now grabbing both of her thighs as he feels his glare plastered onto his face. His hips push up into her again and she folds over completely on top of him. He hisses through his teeth and pumps her a few more times consecutively as she moans into his neck. “Why do you… do this to me?” He sounds angry and he honestly is but he’s still completely enthralled by them finally wrapping into each other like this again. It hadn’t been very long but he can’t stand to fight their feelings and desires. “You tell me when I need to stop Elska” He grunts as she moans into an agreeance, “Because I’m going to fuck you until you do.”

She lets her voice echo through the room as she just received ravishing verbal confirmation that he was going to give it to her…that which she needs from him. This dominating side of Naoya makes her feel euphoria already. He’s not exactly rough but he’s so passionate and genuine that she just wants to let him have his way with her. She has this belief that if she granted him that access, he would still do it with a level of delicacy. The way he feels to her is beyond words as she wishes she could relay her pleasure to him properly but as he ruts into her, she can only focus on the sensations. Making him mad wasn’t her intention but she finds it extremely difficult to fight off her urges and has to admit that angry lustful Naoya makes her feel even more like this was supposed to be. She sits herself up enough to hover over his face and the look he’s giving her can only be described as furrowed and alluring. “I’m sorry…Naoyaa” She whispers as he continues to send himself inside of her. Her breath is caught as she tries to control her volume but ends up gasping while she feels him repeatedly brush against the spot that has her losing her mind above him. She finds herself digging her nails into his shoulders being unaware until she reflexively curls her fingers and scratches his skin. She’s doing everything in her power to refrain from releasing them but feels it quickly approaching.

He’s learning her body more and more every day. He quickly became determined to make this as fast as possible, hoping they can reach the heights together but is prepared to have to stop at any given second. Her body has always been his guide, he feels like it’s as if she’s a language he can easily speak.  As her eyes flutter above him while she’s contracting around him, he curses the day that anyone ever stands between them again. He’s surprised that they’ve been able to make it for this long without triggering the release but it seems like the moment he found solace in that he notices a slight trace of the scent. He immediately lifts her off of him so that he can remove the biggest contributing factor, himself.

He expects her to pout but she’s a smiling mess as she leans down to kiss him deeply. A throaty groan leaves him as he feels her arms to see if she’s physically hot. She’s warm but it could be from their activities. He’s lying flat with his hands now over his eyes as he tries to regulate his heart. “Baby…you can’t do that anym-…” He feels warmth engulfing his tip and sliding down his shaft. He whines as he thinks she’s climbed back over him but realizes that her weight isn’t there. ‘Wait…is she..?’ His eyes dart open to see her lids as she’s swallows him down. He feels excitement as she creates suction that results to a small popping noise as she raises her head up again. She’s bent over on the side of him with her backside high in the air, he can’t help but marvel at appealing sight.

“What can’t I do Naoya?” Her voice is slightly broken as she lowly whispers into him, her devious eyes meeting his as she catches her breath.

“I don’t believe I said anything.” He smirks as he moves to sit up more, wanting to witness this new first for them as he realizes why she was smiling after he pulled out. He grins too seeing how eager she is to do this. She drops her head back down and it sends his head upwards. He shifts his weight to one arm so he can reach out and touch her. Her eyes lock onto his as she hollows her cheeks and he feels himself inching closer. He tries to grab her hair to pull from her face but he fumbles with strands until she assists him. He doesn’t want to add pressure to her, he just wants to see. He’s moaning relentlessly now as she bobs over him, the sounds created from her sucking adding to his experience as he still can’t help but feel she’s absolutely stunning. He feels the tension rising within, the warmth from his own end, “B…baby…I’m about to…” She quickens her pace and he can’t do anything but sink back into the pillows while his body involuntarily flinches as he’s unloading all of his frustrations into her mouth.  He whimpers as she slowly brings her lips back up and lets him flop onto his stomach. Through heaving he asks her if she finished at all and she shakes her head, “This wasn’t about me.” And smiles, “You feel really good regardless so don’t worry.” Her eyes are soft as they gloss over his body and she wipes her face clean.

As she collects air in the form of gasps, she looks back to Naoya who finally looks a little livelier and not so weighted down, “You needed that…” Her hand caresses his left thigh while she breathes heavily “…you were so stressed out and I know I’m the cause.” He’s motioning her to come closer so she crawls up towards him.

“You specifically do not stress me out.” He pulls her by the back of the head so he can kiss her deeply. He brings his fingers underneath her chin to lift her gaze up more towards him, “It’s actually everyone else.” They both breathlessly snicker as she curls back into him and lays her head on his heaving chest. They have to fight the covers underneath them before they can be pulled over top but once they do, they settle back into each other. “I do feel better though,” his heart threatens to leap from under his ribs as he realizes that was probably her intention all along. The smile painfully fixed to his face widens as he feels the actual love from a woman, from her. “Thank you...” He hums as he notices they’re in the same position as when she was sleeping but his heart feels bigger and the amount of anxiety he has about the days to come seems significantly smaller.

“I have no idea what awaits us outside of this room…” Reality is rearing it’s ugly head as she feels she must address this, “…but I can no longer ignore what you are to me Naoya.” The left hand she has placed on his chest balls up, “And I can’t ignore the fact that I’m with Sati either…and what we’ve been doing, how I can’t keep away from you….” She takes a deep breath as she calms the unsteady emotions that were rising within her. “And Toji…Toji is very dear to me. We’re bonded.” She wishes she would have remained silent, fearing that she just ruined the beautiful moment they were sharing. His hand rests over her fist now and she watches his hand fumble to open hers so their fingers can interlock.

“I was already aware of things being complicated princess, don’t work yourself up so much over that.” He brings her fingers to his lips to kiss them. “I’m certainly not thrilled with the predicament but I knew they both worked themselves into your life.” He brings his left hand to brush through her hair, “That’s why it was so important for you to know that you have a choice with me. I will not manipulate you.”

“I believe you when you say that.” She’s understanding exactly how many different ways he makes her feel amazing. “You really are a good man, Naoya…” It seems like no matter what the topic, they can strive through it all, like they’re indestructible together. “We’ve had an interesting past but there’s something about all of this, I need you in my future as well.” She lifts her head up to see him and he’s already looking down to her. She feels so insecure as his gaze seems so piercing looking over her while he’s lost in thought.

Just a week ago he was cloaked in distress worrying about if she would even really consider him, especially under these circumstances. Mere days ago, his heart fractured when he thought he was going to lose her for good after Getou’s vile attack. Minutes ago, they were direly experiencing each other and upon hearing her say all of that, in this exact moment he knew he was supposed to be with her.

“And I will be there.” He’s feeling so many different things that he doesn’t even know where begin. “Be in mine as well?” She smiles, nods and says yes to this and he can’t help but to reach out to her to bring her back into him. He’s now revamped and possibly even somewhat looking forward to his discussion tomorrow. Things definitely don’t seem as bleak as his relief from their honest exchanges allow him feel more at ease.

“Everything will work out.” He rubs her shoulder with a new armor of confidence, “And if not, we’ll fucking make it.”

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