#to be fair its worse when im talking aloud

[giftedpoison]

Nah the craziest thing for me about being a habitual language learner. Is in my native tongue, I don't utilize Point of View or Tenses correctly.

I'll say things in past tense when I mean present and present when I mean past.

Also pronouns? Forget it. I'll say our mother even if the person I'm speaking to does not have the same mother and the sibling I'm referring to (with our) is not present in space nor in conversation.

I speak broken ass English half the time it's no wonder I don't get time/tenses in other languages confused. I don't even understand it in English I just make shit up.

[squeeneyart]

Breathe in the Salt - Chapter 18

AO3

Beta reader is @thesnadger!

Communication is established.

Martin has a job to do.

After months of near constant solitude and a week of above-average social interaction, Martin had to deal with an unhappy middle: Peter, with no warning or pattern, would appear at the lighthouse at whatever time seemed to suit his fancy. Bright and early one day, late lunch the next, twice already on Thursday, all for reasons Martin couldn’t wonder aloud at for fear of seeming too curious.

No alone time meant no poking his nose around. Not that he was supposed to, keeping his head down and all that, but sitting around wasn’t doing his nerves any favors.

It was easy to imagine Peter hiring someone to tail him home, so Martin never dared to take a new path or turn for that whole week. When he got home he stayed home. When he got to work he stayed at work. And when he walked in either direction he most certainly never took the sharp turn toward the Fairchild home, no matter how intensely curious he got.

So, once the group text was actually formed early in the next week (Tim: it was a promise not a threat!), Martin had taken part in the first of many nearly identical conversations. They boiled down to:

Martin: peters been weird, cant predict when he’ll be around

Sasha: we’re still pretty locked up, will let you know if things change

Jon: Elias has been elusive but I’m working on it.

Tim: can’t keep us busy forever

Besides some scattered thoughts and jokes primarily from Tim that got Martin through the more tedious aspects of the work day, the messages were all vague statements telling him “soon, we promise” and random tidbits from him of Peter being weird. The whirlwind of progress from the week prior was over. Waiting and sitting on his hands was all Martin had left.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

Jon had a lot more to say over phone calls than text. That much was clear by Tuesday night as Jon called to elaborate on his frustrations with Elias and continue other topics they’d discussed the conversion prior. The burden of starting the call and coming up with a topic was blessedly off Martin's shoulders, and it made the idea of regular conversations seem more possible.

While it was a relief to still talk to someone at length, Martin knew he would run out of things to say before long. He had no stories from the university he never attended, and Jon had been witness to Martin’s strangest place of work. The more he could deflect personal questions and get Jon to talk about himself, the longer it would take for Martin to be revealed as... well. Dull.

Still, he hoped that Jon would call again soon. If Martin was around for it.

It was Thursday. Peter had been around twice already with no warning. It was getting to be mid-afternoon and he still had a duty to perform. That part of his contract hadn’t changed.

Martin groaned into his desk. It wasn’t fair to have his most mindless and daydream-conducive task twisted into something horrifying. Some little part of him hoped that Sasha’s reasoning from the week before would hold some water, that his knowledge of what was coming would somehow keep him aware of his surroundings.

There was one way to find out, as much as it made his stomach squirm, and the thought of doing so with Peter around was enough to propel Martin out of his chair and toward the cleaning closet.

He began to mop the main floor with a fervor. If Sasha was right and he managed to avoid getting sucked into a wall, Peter absolutely could not witness it. He would have to move fast, even if it scared the shit out of him. And really, was it so scary? It wasn’t something he remembered, and it never hurt him. Probably. He would at least feel pain if something had happened, right?

He had always been fine. A bit sore from lugging things up the stairs, but otherwise nothing had harmed him as far as he knew. What was he afraid of? A person that could watch him as he went about his work in a haze? Or the wall refusing to release him after he entered, trapping him without ever releasing his mind from-

Oh, no, his heart was racing, his hands shaking more by the second. Swallowing had become more difficult, dry throat and a tongue that felt three times too big. Martin walked toward the stairs, trying to keep water level in the mop bucket. The water level was the only evidence that he’d lost time, and he wasn’t going to do this without something to show for it.

Letting out a breath that sent shivers down his arms, Martin placed the mop down and took out his phone.

Martin: so im going upstairs now? to do the mop thing?

Martin: gonna try and use an old analog tape recorder like you all said. any final thoughts would be appreciated

He waited, growing more concerned by the second that he would get no answer, but finally someone responded.

Jon: Sounds like you’re all set. Be sure to send a message here once you’ve gotten back out again, or if you don’t go in at all.

Tim: yeah any situation where your feet are on solid ground really

Jon: You said before that Peter was around. Is it safe to assume he’s left?

Martin: ok will do. he’s not here now so im getting it over with so he wont see anything weird

Jon: Okay, good luck and let us know when you’re out.

Martin: thanks

Sasha: if things start to seem off, retreat back downstairs and call us immediately

Tim: ^^^

Martin: okay, talk to you all soon

Before Martin pocketed his phone, he saw Tim leaving a string of thumbs-up and broom emojis, and as he began up the stairs the occasional vibration in his pocket revealed that something was happening past his goodbye. It wouldn’t be good for the recording if he kept it on like that, but he had no intention of silencing the phone or the people on the other end. He clicked on the tape recorder, placed it in his pocket, and began his climb.

The bucket and mop were as unwieldy as ever, and for not the first time he thought about how nice an elevator would be for his knees before shaking his head. This was a time for focus. Drifting thoughts were a one-way ticket to lost time in a much more literal sense than usual.

He was walking up a rather repetitive staircase, but every once in a while there would be an imperfection that reminded him of where he was in space. A crack here, some chipped paint there. Looking around there were plenty of place markers. His feet were on stairs that were the same as they always were.

About a quarter of the way up, this method began to make his stomach flip. Once, he looked too far ahead, too much up. So he kept his eyes down. He’d been keeping to the inside of the stairs, but his gaze drifted too far and oh, no, another spiral leading down which was worse.

This building, he thought, didn’t appreciate him looking too hard. Fine. He could stay present without a visual anchor. There was still buzzing coming from his pocket, thought less often than before. At least they were still around. If anything happened, they would know quickly and be able to do something. Sure, he hadn’t seen them solve any problems yet, but there was enough confidence between the three of them that they had to have some level of competence.

Martin looked down at the bucket in his hand and held back a scream.

Instead, he hissed at the thing, “When?! We aren’t even halfway up! I let myself think for two seconds and- oh, dammit!” He dug into his pocket for the tape recorder, but it was nowhere to be found.

Martin turned toward the wall, any fear being quickly replaced by petty indignation. “Hey! I paid for that! You can’t just- as if you even need to pick my pockets when you’re a big, stupid voice recorder all on your own!”

Besides the echo of his own voice bouncing up and away from him (mocking him, probably) nothing bothered to respond. He had half a mind to toss the bucket and mop down the stairs for the sake of his aching arms, but he resumed his walk with a quickened pace. If Peter hadn’t come back yet, and it didn’t sound like he had, Martin would do something while he had the time.

At the top of the stairs, Martin opened up the group chat just long enough to type one message.

Martin: lighthouse stole my tape recorder

Then he stuffed the mobile away and made a beeline for the horrible machine he’d been faced with every day that week. His phone buzzed with incoming messages, the motion in his pocket slowly becoming more of a reassurance.

First, he took the time to look at it as a whole. The back couldn’t be reached with it pressed up against the inner wall. Did it make sense for it to be put there? Unsurprisingly, when he’d finally looked up how lighthouses were supposed to work, the panel itself was nowhere to be found as part of the process. What a surprise!

When he’d started the new order of button pushing that past Friday, he’d tried to listen for the mechanisms behind it, but he didn’t know enough about normal mechanics let alone whatever this was to make any judgments. He’d cursed himself then for not paying attention and asking more questions at the start, but there was no helping it.

Really, the fact that he’d been hired at all should’ve been a dead giveaway.

The dial that had once allowed Evan to speak was entirely cut out from the process, a disconnected thing that gave no feedback after being twisted. Did that mean the entire cause was lost? Or had its function been moved to another piece, or a series of pieces-

“Ah, Martin, thought I might find you up here.”

Martin was going to die.

It was a thought that came unbidden, the only clear thing in his head as he turned to find Peter Lukas climbing the last stair without a sound coming from his less than newly polished leather shoes. The soles should’ve made a clicking sound.

Peter looked at him and smiled. “Scared you, didn’t I? Always been told I have quiet feet.”

“Yeah, you did. Wasn’t very nice.” He couldn’t keep the slight shake out of his voice. His hand reached out and grasped the mop’s hand.

“Not for you maybe, but the look on your face is very funny.” The smile grew just a little more cheerful.

“Sure. Well, I’m-”

“Cleaning, right,” Peter said, pressing a hand to his forehead as if remembering something. “Glad to see the last smudges from them wiped away, if I’m honest. More people, more mess for you to clean up later.”

“I suppose, yeah. Need to clean anyway, though.” To emphasize his point, Martin began to clean the floor around and away from the panel. “Did you…”

“Oh, no, nothing really. Just wanted to check in a bit more after all the... disruption from before. And to make you jump a little. Need to make my own fun, sometimes. The week has been dreadful, Martin.”

And you’re spreading the feeling around. “Hm,” Martin replied, as dismissive and uninterested as he could muster.

Martin could hear the smile in Peter’s voice and knew he’d failed to dampen the man’s strange energy. “Yes, well, I’ll be off. When-” And then Peter was interrupted by a prolonged buzzing in Martin’s pocket. “Need to answer that?”

Shrugging, Martin continued to mop and kept his eyes to the ground. “Weird spam call, probably. Mum wouldn’t call my mobile.”

“Mm, good answer. Company time and all that.” With an odd stretching motion, Peter glanced out the window. “Oh, and what were you doing when I came up?”

“Stretches,” Martin replied abruptly. He coughed and evened out his voice. “The walk up is terrible.”

“And that’s why I have you do it for me!” Peter’s laugh came out rough and strangely quiet, a noise that settled under Martin’s skin. The old man’s face twisted into an unreadable smile, something that underneath the mirth felt like a taunt. “But enough of that. Don’t know if I’ll be back again today. And keep that thing quiet if you’re not expecting work calls. Nothing worse than being contacted from anywhere in the world at any time, truly.” The smile seemed to sink into a genuine, almost childlike frown, and Peter slinked back down the stairs without another sound.

After about five minutes of mopping, Martin released the hand and collapsed on the couch. Stupid, stupid, of course he would come right as he was about to fiddle with things.

The prolonged vibrations had ceased some minutes ago, and Martin finally opened the group chat to see what he’d missed. There were several messages from earlier in which Tim and the others had continued to chat. Then his message and general confusion and concern which Martin had expected. Finally, a missed call from Sasha, followed by a text.

Sasha: do we need to get over there?

Blinking, Martin considered the message. Was that an option?

Martin: no everything is over

Martin: peter came in, had to lie about it being a spam call

Jon: of course he did

Sasha: well, call when you think it’s safe

Tim: and maybe check your pockets

Immediately, Martin patted himself down, though nothing seemed amiss. His phone was of course still on him, and there was nothing new.

Martin: everything else is the same. the lighthouse wasnt nice enough to trade something for my tape recorder

Tim: :(

Jon: Sasha is right. We’ll do better if we talk over the phone later when you’re sure to be out of Lukas’ sight. Keep inventory of your things and call us when you can.

Hesitating for a moment, Martin looked down at the winding stairs.

Martin: if you had to get here how long would it take

Sasha: about two hours if i’m driving

Martin: right

Martin: okay. ill call you soon

--

The same conclusion was made as before, only moreso. Martin would keep his head down with exactly zero poking around. The lockscreen of his mobile would show no notifications to mitigate the risk of eavesdropping (what if his phone was stolen by his evil workplace?), and unless there was some sort of emergency no messages or calls were to be made during his work hours.

Peter certainly knew something was going on. There was no point in pretending otherwise. Martin would have to hope they were both committed to playacting their routine for as long as the others needed to get back and do something.

The thought dug a pit in his stomach. Pretending that everything was exactly the way it had been was just... being alone for most of the day. He’d enjoyed receiving random messages at work and the sudden movement in his pocket that meant someone was around. It was a normal thing for people, texting when they’re supposed to be working. Pity he’d mucked it up so fast.

Long after he’d prepared for sleep, Martin sat on his bed with mobile in hand. His contact list was so short that he didn’t even need to scroll to find Jon’s name. It was right under an old manager he’d never deleted from his contacts.

His thumb twitched over the call button. He wasn’t going to do it, but it was a nice thought. They’d already spoken at length today, with everyone showing enough concern that Martin had needed the alone time afterwards to breath.

That being said, enough time had passed for him to be itching for any conversation he could get, and he wanted to talk to Jon because he still didn’t quite get Sasha, and conversation with Tim tended to run short because Martin didn’t know how to keep things going after he’d dumped all of his grievances on the guy the week prior.

And he liked talking to Jon. And maybe it was because Martin understood a topic Jon cared deeply about, but Jon seemed to like talking to Martin, too.

There was no call that night, and he was out 20 pounds for that tape recorder from the resale shop.

[ajokeformur-ray]

✨ Unfiltered Joker thoughts ✨

I watched Joker with a bunch of lovely clowns on my Discord and while they werewolf’d in the chat, I typed out my thoughts here as they came to me. These are unedited, unfiltered, and exactly as they were in my head. I don’t know who’d be interested in this but 🤷‍♀️ who doesn’t love unfiltered thoughts about our man? NSFW ahead in places, lmao and some self-ship elements because it’s always on my mind.

There are Controversial Things within, I’m sure - be nice about it if you wanna comment, or unfollow/block etc. if it bothers you I won’t take it personally. I will take it personally if I’m sent a rude message, though. Fair warning. You curate your own online experience so scroll past silently if you gotta!🥰🥰🥰🥰

Tagging @arthurflecc @jokerownsmysoul @daincrediblegg @sweet-nothings04 bc they were in the chat and missed me there!! 

 Word count: 4, 597.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJO -

*Presses play*

OMG THERE HE IS BABYYYYYYYY ~ 

Ugh that white shirt... 🥵

“paint me like one of your french girls” 👀

oh, honey, no. 

Don’t force yourself to smile, my love, it’s okay. you can be hurting.

sweet angel who can do no wrong asdfghjkl

wanna kiss that tear away...

CARNIVALCARNIVAL CARNIVAL *STARTS SWAYING IN MY SEAT*

jaunty piano to juxtapose his shitty mood

you spin me right round, baby, right round...

ohhh, baby 🥺🥺🥺

someone’s honky lmaoooooo ~ 

that cello

Ohhhh, darling man.... i’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry

WOOPS CRYINGGGG ~

sweet angel love still tryna be funy with the flower squirting...

what else will squirt tonight???👀

ohhh, darling. deep breaths baby. it’s okay. you’re okay.

CRYINGGGGG

ohhhh baby boyyyy....

legit just cooed aloud

oh angel <3 

“is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?”

it is my love... it is. 

let me sit on your lap and still the shaking of your legs

ohhhh my love. you’re okay. just breathe.

Dr. Kane was doing her best but you’re beyond what she can handle

you deserve better, sweetheart.

my love, my life.

I JUMPED WHEN HE HIT HIS HEAD IN ARKHAM

“who knows?”

yeah me too, my love. me too. 

“i just dont wanna feel so bad anymore”

oh baby.

i know, my love. i wish i could hold your hand and stroke your hair and kiss your cheeks 🥺🥺🥺

had a shitty day but wants to comfort a child on the bus. thats my manssss ~ <3 <3 <3 

okay but his peekaboo makes me giggle please do that to me when im sad

“‘cuse you bitch?”

the greasepaint still on his face is endearing omg 

GIVE HIM BACK HIS CARD OR IMMA RIOTTTT

CRYINGGGGG 

ohhhh baby. no. deep breaths. i’m here, my love. not going anywhere

those fucking steps

me too, darling. i feel your exhaustion like it’s my own and i long to take it from you without changing a single thing about you.

my love, my life

the weariness of an unchanged routine is a paralysing one

wanna rub cream on your bruises

“yeah, mum” so soft im cry

“eat. you need to eat” i hear you in my head when i wanna skip meals and it helps me.

“oh yeah? who do you talk to?” YES SASS HER

“yay murray” ohhhhh angel you’re so cute I’m cry 🥺

murray you wankstain - old and crusty 🤮🤢🤮🤢

arthur’s laugh in his daydream 🥺🥺

“i love you murray” // “you’re awful murray” baby noooooo

“theres something special about you arthur” the only real thing murrat ever fuckin said AND IT WASNT EVEN A REAL THING IT WAS IN HIS HEAD

“I TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY MOTHER” YEEEES BABY YOU DO! SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

just wantin recognition in your daydreams bc you dont get it in your real life

YOU SWEET THING

HIS SWEET SMILE AND THE CELLO OH BABY 🥺😭

YOUR BACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

shoes are too tight so you gotta stretch em 

can you stretch me too???👀🥵💦🔥

“chuckletown” RANDALLS LEGACY AND WE TURNED IT INTO SMTHN LOVING AND NOT SARKY LIKE HE INTENDED LMAO FUCK YOU RANDALL YOU PIECE OF SHIIIIIIIIT

arthur’s hair in the sun omg like a halo

randall fuck off fucking fuck off go aWAY LEAVE MY ARTHUR ALONE

you asswipe

arthurs shy and nervous lil giggle omg baby say no give the gun back its not well intended 

“my boy”  AHA LMAO HE DOES PAY YOU BACK BUT NOT HOW YOU EXPECT LMAOOOO YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE

THOSE CURLS

arthur’s sweet little lilting voice in front of his boss omggggg ~ 

HOYYYYYYT 

his logic makes no sense wtffffff ~ 

RETAIL SMILE LMAO THATS A MOOD 

brewing insanity..... 

POUND ME LIKE THOSE TRASH BAGS

RUIN ME AND THEN REBUILD ME IN YOUR IMAGE 

those mf stairs again

it’s the same old team since 1916... in your head, in your head...

never in my LIFE have i been aroused by a FOOT

lmao only Arthur istg that man is the exception to my every rule

Gigi is so CUTE 🥺

THAT SMIRK SIR CAN YOU NOT

“hey” omggg look at you tryna connect ugh so proud of youuu ~ 

the moon is a silver dollar... 

THOSE CURLS

THOSE BARE FEET

THAT SOFT VOICE

ARTHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 

frances conroy is a goddess omg i love herrrr ~ 

espesh on ahs she’s a queen

but i digress lmao wrong fandom

“dont you have to be funny to be a comedian”

FUCK OFF PENNY 

FUCK RIGHT OFF THEN FUCK OFF SOME MORE PLEASE

slap that bass.... 

FINGERSSS ON THE GUN ASDFGHJ PUT THEM ON ME INSTEADDDD

zoom zoom the world is in a mess

LMAO YEP

“psh” omg you sweet angel asdfghjk

THAT EYEBROW RAISE ASDFGHJK SASSY KINGGGGG

GET ITTTTTT

UGH THAT BODY WANNA COVER IT IN MARKS OF LOVE TO REPLACE THE VIOLENT MARKS

ARTHUR @ HIMSELF “YOURE A GOOD DANCER // I KNOW”

omggggg sweet clumsy babyyyy

lmaooo “old war movie” do you tell penny that when we get caught having sex on the sofa????

arthur honey following sophie isn’t.... the best way to get her attention asdfghjk 

someone needs to teach you social interactions... 

I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTTTTTE

that student/teacher roleplay comedian at pogos makes no sense to me???? i dont get his jokes at all

lmao bad comediannnnnn

arthur’s cute lil mistimed giggles ksksksksk 

wanna kiss your cheeks every timmmme 

you’re working so hard to achieve your goals im so so proud of you

ambidextroussss ~ (just like me omg we’re perfect for each otherrrrr)

“people expect you to behave as if you dont” YOU INTELLIGENT LIL SHIT OMG I LOVE YOU AND YOUR MIND

you know its a daydream if arthurs wearing a shirt at home 

his shy “yeah” omggggg ~ angelllll 

“i have a gun i can come by tomorrow” LMAOOOOOOOO 

“youre so funny arthur” YES HE IS DREAM!SOPHIE

CARNIVAL CARNIVAL CARNIVAL

I ACTUALLY STOMP MY FEET HERE BC IM HAPPY FOR THE TIME HES ON SCREEN SWEET CLOWN 

THE ONLY ONE IM NOT AFRAID OF

HES SO SO HAPPY OMGGG

BABY BOYYYY IN HIS ELEMENT

SAD THO BC KIDS ARE TERMINALLY ILL 

bestest party clownnnn 

“I love this job” oh baby 🥺🥺

aaaaaaaaand now the betrayal from randall lmao fuck that dude

NO BB YOUR FOREHEAD NO SMASHY GLASSY

LMAO THE FUCK ERIKA???

dudes 35 not a kid 

throwing greasy chips into a girl’s hair isn’t how to flirt my dude lmao you’re gross??? 

ew

EW EW EW WIGGLE YOUR CHIPS ELSEWHERE

ohhhh arthur, honey no omg breathe it’s okay

you wanna help but you dont know how

you sweet thing 

send in the clowwwwwwwwwwwwwwns ~ 

IM CRYINGGGGG

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives”

JOEKR ITS NOT YOUR TIME YET GO AWAYYYY

lmao jokes stay you know im lost without you 

HOW CAN YOUR HAIR LOOK SO GOOD AFTER BEING UNDER A WIG ALL DAY ?????

carnival with arthur’s hair is just 👌👌👌👌

WHERES HIS CARDDDDD 

nooooooo omg baby no omg i wish i could take all those punches for you

i’d take it all in a heartbeat to save you

gritting his teeth not taking in anymore

YES BABY GET EEEEEEM

YES YES YES YES STAND UP FOR YOURSELF SO PROUD OF YOU

first 2 self defence, 3rd one unsure lmao but fuck it 

no PUT THE GUN AWAY FROM YOUR FACE BABY ITS OKAY DONT FORGET YOUR BAG OR YOUR WIG ITS EVIDENCE

KILL THE 3RD COVER YOUR TRACKS

GOOD BOYYYYYY

carnival with blood on face = killing your insecurities

8 bullets from a 6 chamber????? mm-hm lmao i know @daincrediblegg wrote a thing on this once lmao bestest Egg is smart and i love her muchly 🥰🥰🥰🥰

run baby run, dont ever look backkk... (check yes juliet)

BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE

fuck me against that dirty counter

joker’s waking uuuuuuuup....

that cello though unffff 👌

got me clenchinnnnn you fluidddd ~ 

and in his eyes, all the sadness of the world. those pleading eyes that both threaten and adore (phantom of the opera)

my brain is 90% song lyrics 

hes so graceful and ethereal so full of pain and of love and of adventure and worth and need and yearning

my sweet boy

my wonderful angel

my fallen angel

T POSEEEEE

DAYDREAM KISSSSS

ugh push me against the wall and shove your hand down my panties and take whats yours 

please and thanks

so confident

so smooth

so sure

unf

take me angel im all yours 

and my name is carnival

SASSY BOYYYYY

I SAY BOY BUT YOURE A MAN LMAO 

YESSSSSS TELL THEMMMMMMMM 

LMAOOOOOO RANDALL SEEMS LEGIT CONFUSED PFFFT

TOUGH SHIIIIIIIT

LMAOOO PUNCH OUT

BUSTING A LUNNGGGGG

HE DOESNT KNOW HIS OWN STRENGTH

OR HIS OWN LIMITS

“DONT SMILE”

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

nothin worse than being told to smile when you really wanna bare your teeth and let rip

aka me every fuckin minute of my life 

SHUSH ME SHUSH ME SHUSH ME

ILL CRY BUT DO IT

LMAOOOOO CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BICEPS 

ILL GO OUT DOIN WHAT I LOVE

YOUUUUUUU 

“gotham’s lost its way” ok trump

“thats not funny” SHUT UP PENNY YES IT IS

STOP SMOTHERING ARTHUR LET HIM BE FREE

“nobody ever saw me. even i didnt know if i really existed”

and

“you dont listen do you”

BOTH ARE MOODS

i feel them so hard

hes so sure of himself in this session

so angry and done and weary

“people are starting to notice” ALMOST A YEAR OF YOU BEING NOTICED

that green jumper omggg 

good luck getting me out of it pfffft 

“erika have you seen my - oh, there it is. never mind.”

want it back???? payment is kissessss

EW SEXIST COMEDIAN

arthur honey stop primping youre perfect <3 <3 <3 

im so so proud of youuuuu

COLLARBONEEEEEES

OMG HE STUMBLES UP THE STEPS DARLINGGG

I wish i could hold your hand while youre on stage and comfort you while you deliver your jokes

just breathe, darling. it’s okay. i’m here, i promise. <3 

every time you gag on your laughter my heart clenches

CRYINGGGGG

oh, my love, it’s okay. just breathe. dont fight it. dont fight yourself 

you’re so good at imitating your ma pfffft 

lmaoooo you’re so funny arthur 

WOO BOI DONT FLASH YOUR PORN PAGES AT THE AUDIENCE 

givin me ideas.... 

SMILE THOUGH YOUR HEART IS ACHING

SMILE EVEN THOUGH IT’S BREAKING 

WHEN THERE ARE CLOUDS IN THE SKY

YOU’LL GET BY

SMILE THROUGH YOUR FEAR AND SORROW

SMILE

AND MAYBE TOMORROW

YOULL SEE THE SUN COME SHINING THROUGH

arthur is my sunshine

EXCUSE ME HEART EYES OMGGGG

ME AND ARTHUR HEART EYESING AT EACH OTHER PFFFFFT 

gonna put people off their food doin that 

thats life

arthur’s imitations and those soft curls and the dancing and the - 

erika.exe has stopped working 

“come on dance with me”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

i prefer the horizontal dance myself...

“big date”

“deliver the letter”

NARCISSISM 

ARTHUR YOU DESERVE BETTERRRRRRRRRR

IS IT BAD HIS EYEBROWS TURN ME ON?? SO THICK AND DARK AND STRONG I - 

and those eyes

ugh fuck meeee ~ 

yes thats an invitation

penny “needs care” but her handwriting is that neat???? yeah fuck off 

sorry i dont buy it

she was grooming him i think into some kinda husband role and its fucking gross as fuck she was abusing him and he just wanted her gone 

CUTE LIL NOSTRIL FLARES BC SAD AND ANGRY

OMG

his quiet anger scares me but i admire how he calmed down so fast

angry penguinnnnn

HE CARRIES HIS CLOWN NOSE AROUND IN HIS POCKET

CUUUUUUUTE

the similar clothing colours of arthur and bruce is v def intentional 

in another life, arthur....

i’m so sorry darling you deserved and deserve so much better

legit one small change in anything coulda prevented 80% of this film

your magic tricks are gorgeous ~ 

you’re so funny and soothing and comforting and so good with kids

you are the best party clown

I GASPED AT THE FLOWERS

like my server nameee ~ 

“hi” that soft noise 🥺

arthur’s hands on those bars omg 🥵🥵🥵

okay i’ll admit i still dont get the whole arthur/thomas thing lmao is he his dad???? ive seen this film 10000000 x and i still can’t decide.

i wanna say he is but like ??? idk ??

it’s tragic either way omg arthur’s wasted in gotham

ruuuun arthur run run runnnnnnnn 

the bg music isss 👌👌👌👌

arthur accidentally caused penny’s stroke bc med w/drawal but all that abuse, like ????? i get why he kept her sedated lmao i’d want her knocked out or smthn too

7 meds between the two of them, probably.... that might be why he wanted an increase???

you gotta lie, angel.

you’re in way over your head but lie

yeeees good boy!!

“a clown thing?“ lmaoooo tell them!!!

NO ITS EXIT ONLY

KINDA LIKE MY ASS LMAO NO ANAL FOR YOU 

he just wants love and comfort and for someone to stay omg you sweet thing 

you deserve the world and all the forehead kisses 

TURN THE TV OFF

TURN IT OFF

TURN IT - 

OH TOO LATE

arthurrrrr ~ 

its like a car crash lmao you know its coming but you cant stop looking

fuck off murrat

FUCK OFF SOME MORE

oooooooh thats a danger face....

lowkey want it between my thighs lmao use me to work out your frustrations i can take it 

“kill the rich” lmao relatable 

this film revealed to me that i have a flexible morality ksksksk im all for it though 

sleepy bb ~ 

“we are all clowns” ALSO RELATABLE

����🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

arthurs thriving in the crowd omg yes baby looks so happy

flashes of joker comin throughhh... 

sneaky baby...

quick on his feet, light on his sense... 

tread lightly on my ground, (abba; andante)

THE RED THEATRE SUIT OMG FORESHADOWWWW

he looks good in red

he looks good out of red too 👀👀

that is the smile of the world’s most precious angel omg babyyyy ~ 

he makes me smile omg hes my sunshine

my love my life 

you saved my soul do you know that??? do you feel me and how much i love you? do you see me and these tears? 

do you feel me like i feel you?

ohhhhh boy here we go asdfdgfhgjhk arthur going to meet his dad, only asking for love and instead he gets punched in the face

i mean i get it bc of what arthur did to bruce with the whole hands in the mouth thing but bruce is barely mentioned, like an afterthought?

thomas has a nasty temper i wouldnt want him for a dad

thomas legit only mentions bruce after he’s punched arthur its like his only thought is really protecting himself and his rep with the whole penny thing

his son comes after; legit as he’s walking away he mentions bruce so hes obvs not that concerned????

shitty dad award lmao

not that what arthur did is okay im not excusing his admittedly misguided and lowkey creepy actions but like ????

lmao prob gonna get hate for this ^^ like i did last time i mentioned it but i dont care im allowed an opinion

too tired to care rn anyways pfffft its storming so bad outside and my wifi has dipped idk if this’ll save

c’mon wifi, for me... 

yes

arthur didnt have an attack til he got called crazy, its a trigger word for him 😭

oh baby its okay, deep breaths.

dont fight your laughter, that’ll make it worse 

the way he bounces back from that punch though - you know how to take it, dont you, my love?

you sweet thing.

i wish i could get you out of that fridge omg baby those old ones lock - how did you get out ????

meds are wearing off now.....

darling say no to the show lmao you dont wanna go

*facepalm*

every time i watch this i hope it turns out different

it never does

arthur honey dont ask questions you dont want the answers to

that clerk was protecting you not letting you see the file

that clerk and gary were the only ones nice to you

but it wasnt enough

you needed love and support and help and guidance 

and instead you got literal and metaphorical punches and no break

the hand puppet omgggg ~ 

i want him to play peekaboo with me when im sad/upset/make a hand puppet over my shoulder aszdxfcghvjbkn

ohhhhhh darling stop reading stop reading stop reading

put it down. 

this entire scene is confusing and heartbreaking

ive seen this film 10000000 x and im still not sure i fully understand

his laughing is so much like sobbing here

omg moonshine its okay you can cry. let it all out. 

newspaper clips in a real file???? mmmm - unprofessional or arthur’s manifestation of news??

🤔

we love pathetic fallacy in this house

i wanna get you in the shower and wash you down and feed you and wrap you in my warm embrace “i had a bad day”

my dark angel, it’s okay. i’m here. i love you and im staying with you no matter what

sophie was his last hope, his last chance to reconnect

again im not excusing it lmao but im saying i understand him

hes touching everything to experience it for the first time

he knows shes a daydream

hes self-aware but he needs his coping mechanisms

we all do it

not the breaking in, i mean the daydreaming 

“i had a bad day” shatters my black, shrivelled heart 💔💔💔💔💔💔

ohhh, darling.

istg you’re the only person i ever fucking coo at 

finger-guns = reconnecting = remember me see me

but i guess to sophie it came across as ominous/creepy??

poor arthur trying so hard to reconnect to people and he just cant do it he doesnt have the social know-how bc no one bothered to ever teach him

again im not saying its okay im just saying

lmao i hate how i always feel like i have to justify myself even before thats called into question pffft the internet is cruel and prev times ive voiced myself ive been sent rude messages and once bitten twice shy

the sword forgets but the tree remembers

hes sobbign and laughing and its gut-wrenching

that neighbour yelling “shut up” better catch these hands imma square up

have some compassion dickwad

you never know what someones going through so be kind

always always be kind

^^^ film takeaway right there

if looks could kill penny would be 6 feet under

OH WAIT LMAOOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂

in killing her he sets himself free. but the trauma and the damage done to him leaves him open to more of the same bc hes so vulnerable

that heart-rate monitor went quiet so quickly did he tune it out????

OMG THE WAY HE REHEARSES FOR THE SHOW YOU SWEET MAN OMG YOU DESERVE THE WORLD

sir thats my seat lmao my throne of red

“yeah? all of you? okay” 🤡🤡🤡

us lining up to fuck him into next week 😂

THATS LIFEEEEE ~ 

the fuck kinda hair dye you usin’???

CHOKE ME W THOSE BICEPS

DANCIN TOGETHER IN THE BATHROOM

THOSE HIPS DONT LIEEEEE 👀👀

scissors = pre-med murder but triggered by “my boy” - term used by abusers. 

poor angel’s triggered by lots of things, i think. theres no telling what triggers his violence and thats what makes him dangerous

could be anything and theres also no telling what his “you wronged me” scale is so ??? 

he’s like a kicked dog... lashes out when hes had so much and wont/cant take anymore

“COMING” yeaaaaah i bet....👀

“i stopped taking my medication and i feel a lot better now” GET OUT GET OUT THATS A RED FLAG OUUUUUUUUUUT YOU GO

OOOOOH JOKER’S LAUGH IS OUT - HES MOCKING YOUUUU AND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW IT BOY’S SMARTICLES

this is why arthurs so dangerous. he looks lithe and weak and fragile but he takes down a man twice his size with scissors in one hit

do not underestimate him it’ll be the last thing you ever do

I WANNA LICK THE BLOOD OFF HIS FACE

BRITISH ACCENT ON POINT 

LMAO he’d so mock me for mine 😂

“you were the only one who was ever really nice to me” a moral codeeee; flexible morality like meeee ~ 

okay but he so made gary jump bc he knew gary was too scared to move otherwise

loooooving the gallows humour with the door lock PFFFT

gotham slept on arthur dude’s hilarious

OH OMH OMG OMGOMOMGOMGOMGOMGOKMG JOKER JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY CLOWN MY HUSBAND OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

IM CRYINGGGGGGGG

JOKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

I CANT BREATHE FUCK OMFFFFF LOOK AT HIIIIIIM

LOOOOOOOOOK LOOK LOOK ASZDXFCGVHJBKLKJHGFDSZDXFGHJHKJLKJHGFD

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKER

JOKERJOKERJOKER

LMAO HE’D BE GIGGLING AT ME RIGHT NOW OMGGGG

lmao let randall rot there fuck hiiiiiiim (and not in the fun way)

i want Joker to touch my clit like he did the lift button 👀

ohhhhh look at you having fun on the stairrrs

happy babyyyy ~ 

dancing  towards what you believe to be your death

so glad you changed your punchline at the last minute you didnt deserve to die

SWEET FLAWLESS ANGEL I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

his “oh” when the cops come lmaooooo ~ 

he does that when you grind down hard on him...👀

so used to pain he gets up from being hit by a car and carries on 😔

run baby run...

hes so agile and so quick on his feet

thinks fast too

arthur for fuck’s sake dont you dare stop

you’re almost there, my love.

im so so proud of you

SASSY DANCING ANGELLLL

i love that smug smirk he has and that chuckle omg lmaooooo ~ 

i’d do anything to see you look at me with such pride

ooof you look so angry in the subway but i’d happily cup your face in my hands and smother you in kisses

your eyes red rimmed with tears. youve been sweating and crying ohhhh ~ 

my love omg you didnt want this, you didnt want the riots and you dont know how it spun so outta control and you didnt choose this

i so desperately want to be with you right now

“i dont believe in anything” THATS OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY

I MEAN ITS ALREADY YOURS BUT YOURE STANDING ON IT OUCH

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

“mm-hm” i love that little noise

“i love dr sally” BITCH YOU HAVE A WIFE AT HOMEEEE

“THATS WHAT YOU CALLED ME ON THE SHOW. A JOKER. DO YOU REMEMBER?” THATS SUCH A DANGEROUS LOOK ON HIS PERFECT FACE LMAO MURRAY HAD ONE CHANCE TO CHANGE HIS MIND AND APOLOGISE AND HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT LMAO

fuck ‘em, Joker.

You deserve better

GET

THAT

FUCKING

GUN

AWAY

FROM

YOUR 

FACE

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all that pain in his eyes....

oh, darling. how did no one see you????

his backstage dancing got me 💦💦💦

hes so ethereal and mysterious, so free yet so constrained, so beautiful and so himself

i love him i love him i love him i love him

smile playing as he comes out on stage lmao even now hes being told what to do and how to act

hes never free

spinny baby

you spin me right round...

he suits the stage so well

lmao woop sexual assault (kissing dr sally without consent) isnt a good move Joker but damn what a first kiss...

never thought i’d be jealous of an elderly woman but here we are 🤡

he looks so good under the lights omg so crisp....

wanna mess and smear it uuuuup

~

you’re all being mocked and none of you fucking know it lmao get wrecked

memory problems bcof the notebook + “get it right” - he really cares

ohhhhhh baby come on change your punchline, come on....

okay but that drunk driver joke does make me giggle lmao it’s so out there and honestly my sense of humour is just as dark as his is

i just sHIVERED 🥵

“arthur” HE SAID CALL HIM JOKER DONT BE RUDE

ohhhhh i’m cryingggg 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i cant watch this without crying ohhhh all that pain, all that suffering and all that anger, confusion and betrayal. a mental breakdown on nat tv and no one sees him. how the fuck are you all so blind?????

“mur-rray” LMAO YOU FUCK MY NAME I FUCK YOURS

SAY IT JOKER IM SO SO PROUD OF YOUUU

hes speaking facts

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives” and that eye roll and groan yes we stan a dramatic CLOWN

this is fucking heartbreaking omg “i dont care about anything” but then he rants in the next minute - so unpredictable and dangerous and untamed but so so pretty in his pain so beautiful and so free

but hes not free... not really

“werewolf” as a verb omg only you could make that work

im so fucking proud of you

“youre awful murray” ooooooooh....

LMAO JOKER’S JOKE BLEW MURRAT’S MIND

hes crying and shaking and no one ??? sees him ???? how????

i legit dont understand how people just dont see him? people see what they wanna see but it’s right there???

he seems almost surprised by the fact he killed him

YES GRAB MY FACE LIKE YOU DID THE CAMERA PLEASE

IN THE WHITE ROOOOOOOOOM

UGH I LOVE THIS SONG SO FUCKING MUCH ITS SUCH A FEEL GOOD SONG

GOTHAM IS SO PRETTY WHEN ITS ON FIRE OMG ITS SO ALIVE

I LOVE THE ENERGY THIS SCENE GIVES OFF

ITS LIKE HOW JOKER HIMSELF MAKES ME FEEL

ALIVE

his little “hi” like they can hear him 🥺🥺🥺🥺

his laughter omggg sweet angelllllll ~ 

“i know. isn’t it beautiful?” YES IT IIIIIS

AND SO ARE YOU

OH NO OMG NO NO NOPEEEE

this scene always scares me even though i know hes okay pffffft 

the birth of joker lmao

be careful with him please hes precious cargo

omggg i wanna sit on that car and wipe his blood away and help him to get home so i can patch him up

lmao im a scaredy cat til my loved ones are threatened then i scare up this fawn bites

i wanna help Joker to get help and support

i wanna love him through it all, the good and the bad

his slow dancing always gets me omg it’s arthur, still there, still suffering, still unseen and unloved

hes crying and hes in pain

blood smile - my inside is on the outside now and it still hurts

he didnt want any of this. he chose his name ubt not what came with it

my poor clown...... 

CRYINGGGGGG AGAIN

HIS GENUINE LAUGHTER SENDS ME OMG ITS SO PRETTY

i wanna make him laugh like that

it always makes me smile omg those cute lil hiccups 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

THATS LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE

i love the audio muted during the scene he sings it omgg it’s so prettyyyy ~ i like to pretend hes singing to me sometimes asdfghjk

metaphorical or literal blood???

hes accepted who he is now.

hes free

dancing in the white light like an angel

i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love hiiiiiiiiiim ~ 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

~ THE END ~

[blog-in-a-corner]

TSOTBL - Plight

YALL IM SO SORRY THIS IS COMING OUT LATE SJFHFNJ

Kim couldn't stop thinking about the cave system behind the library. It was so very intriguing, she could explore it all day. Unfortunately she couldn't, as Lucinda and Aaron didn't let anyone go inside, for everyone's safety of course.

“Hmph it's not fair, that cave is so cool and I can't even explore it….” Kim moped, body flopped over the couch. “Aww c'mon Kim, there's still the library...!” Garroth reminded, trying to lighten her up. “True, true, but still…” Kim mumbled, bummed out. “Maybe when we're done with the lodge, we can go somewhere you'd like.” Garroth suggested. “I just wanna go back home. To my rock collection, my tamagotchis, and my two frogs, Peanut and Tater Tot…” “Don't worry Kim, we'll all be home soon.” “Yeah... what are you gonna do right now anyway?” “I think I'm going to go and read my book right now.” “Again? I mean, I understand how addicting a good book can be, but you've been spending hours in your room reading for the past few days now. Sometimes it feels like I don't see you unless we all eat, or have to clean.” “Stop nagging me about it geez! There's nothing to do here, so what if I spend most of my time reading a book? It’s just something I really like, why is that such a problem?!” Garroth snapped at Kim, defending himself. “Hey I was just saying! Geez, I….I didn't mean to make you upset, I'm sorry…” Kim trailed off, feeling bad. “Ahh erm, no I'm sorry. I'm just used to people.…point is I'm sorry! I shouldn't have snapped at you that way, it was uncalled for.” “Ah it's all fine, maybe I'll give that book of yours a read! Judging by how much you like it I'm sure it must be good!” “Oh, um, sure… I'll let you give it a read….I guess...but I'll give it to you when I'm done with it because you read faster than I do!” “Oh yeah true. Well I guess I'll see ya later then?” “Yeah sure.” Garroth said, walking to the stairs. “Well, I guess it's just you and me couch.” Kim said to herself, slowly dozing off on the couch, as everyone else were in their own rooms.

Aphmau was by herself in her room, lying down on her bed, contemplating and reminiscing.

“Urghh Kim's not happy with me...she probably thinks I didn't talk to Zane about the whole being mean thing. I can't just put Zane's feeling aside, and the Ro'meave family drama is not a can of worms I want to keep opening, but just….argh why do I have to be caught between this crap!” Aphmau sighed to herself, smacking a pillow on her face. “Then there's this whole Aaron thing! Are we broken up, are we not, do I still want him, does he still want me, ugh! It's all so frustrating! The only person I don't have any troubles with right now is Lucinda, and that's because Lucinda is the best at avoiding drama….even when it came to breaking up with Ivan, as ugly as the situation became she handled it better than I would have…”

Aphmau stared at the ceiling of her room, it was cracked, with some of the wood from under showing out. The years of the lodge were so very visible from just the wood alone.

“Drama, drama, drama...this is highschool crap. Why can't I just be friends with everybody instead of deal with all of this family drama and romance problems...I wish I could give up sometimes, but what kind of friend would that make me? To just give up when things get hard? Not a very good friend to say the least….” Aphmau thought to herself, sighing audibly. “What kind of friend am I being by letting all this drama slip through my fingers? I should just straighten up and handle this like an adult! Because guess what I am one! But...I don't know, Aaron wanted to get away from all the drama and I don't want to make things worse by accidentally creating tension between everybody, it's already enough that I'm here….ughhhh why Irene why!”

She slumped to her side and grabbed her phone. She began to look through her photos.

“Gosh, despite everything that happened way back in highschool, I still miss the days where I could just hang out. Whether it was spending hours playing video games with Garroth and Laurance while snacking on junk food, or binge-watching anime with Katelyn and Kawaii~chan. Now here I am with all of...this I guess. I shouldn't be so negative though, I had good times then, even when the whole Jury thing happened...if I had good times then, then I can have good times now! I just have to stay positive.” She sighed, in a sense of relief. “Now let's just...take a lil’ breather to not think about all this crap.” Aphmau muttered, as she flopped over on the bed.

Lucinda was fiddling with her wand, alone in her room, casting spells.

“Praefexero.” Lucinda muttered, waving her wand around the room. Magic twirled around the room, in various shapes and colors, it faded almost as soon as it came.

“Nothing...let me try one more time. Praefexero…!” once again magic made its way around the room, but it faded as it did before. “Nothing? Dammit Praefexero!” Lucinda shouted in frustration, this time the spell poofed into a cloud of smoke unlike the previous times. “Calm down Lucinda, calm down, getting frustrated just makes things worse…” She coughed, clearing the smoke with her hands. “I know there's something about this place there's gotta be! But I'm not getting any readings! This place isn't normal, that much I can guarantee!” She grumbled, putting her wand away. “Stupid magic, what good is being a prodigy if I can't even detect what the hell is wrong with this place...Kim's acting weird, the cave was full of all sorts of bad energy, Garroth's acting kinda off too but I don't know if it's anything serious or if he's just being dumb again, I haven't been able to sleep at all these past few days and just! Ughhhh!” Lucinda smacked her head against the wall, groaning in frustration. “I just want to go to sleep….or have some kind of shut eye at the very least…guess I'll have to just bear with it.” Lucinda looked down at her wand, it was a really simple wand. “I almost regret bringing this wand, I wish I didn't leave my better wand at home. Then again I didn't anticipate this shit to happen at all, I wasn't about to bring an incredibly expensive wand to some run down shit hole.” Lucinda sighed, slumping down on her bed.

________________________________________

Zane was walking down the stairs, heading to kitchen.

“Man I can't wait until I'm able to leave this stupid lodge.” Zane muttered to himself. “I've just about had it with all of this cleaning crap. Why couldn't they send professionals out here. Cheapskates.”

As Zane walked by he noticed Kim, fast asleep on the couch.

“Hmm only if I had a marker would I scribble on her face. But Aph would probably scold me.” Zane thought aloud, turning his attention back to the kitchen. “Guess I'll make myself a cup of coffee while I'm down here.”

Zane went over to the kitchen and set some water to heat.

“Huh? Where the hell did my coffee cup go? I put it in the cabinet...so help me if one of these neanderthals is using my coffee cup-” “Looking for this?” A voice said from behind him. “GAH WHAT THE-Kim?!” Zane yelled, spooked by Kim's sudden appearance. “What are you doing standing behind me-and why do you have my coffee cup?!” “I just found it.” Kim said rather blatantly, holding the coffee cup out in front of herself. “You better have not used it or I swear I'll-” “So how's Garroth?” Kim interrupted Zane bluntly, putting the coffee cup down, not seeming to care about Zane's coffee cup dilemma. “Wh-What? How the hell would I know?” Zane snapped. “You're his brother. I thought he was acting a bit...strange lately, and I'd figured you'd know why. “So what? That's just Garroth acting fucking stupid as per usual. Trust me the guy is fine. He couldn't be helped to feel anything else than an irritating happiness even if his life depended on it.” “Hm...that's what..I thought you would say.” “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” “No one….would be able to tell if you died, your blood runs cold all the time….” “Tch, you think I care?” “No. I...do not…” Kim replied, walking over to the sink in the kitchen. “Yet neither do I.” She said, grabbing a knife from the rack. “You really don't...know a person..until their dead. From there on out...you can learn everything about them. Though….being dead...is very...very unpleasant... especially if you just couldn't pass on…” “Yeahh...I, uh, guess so…” Zane said, weirded out by Kim's behavior. “Is... saving someone's life worth it? Or...is it meaningless to save someone who's fated to die regardless?” Kim asked, looking to Zane. “What a stupid question to ask, of course saving another person's life is worth it, there's nothing more valuable than allowing someone to live a longer life, so that none of their friends and family, would have to mourn them.” Zane replied, annoyed at the question. “So why...do you...provoke evil and bad karma?” Kim asked looking Zane dead in the eye. “What..?” “You…really don't get it do you?….” “Kim, what the hell are you saying?”

Kim coughed and shook her head, she then stretched lightly and yawned.

“Oh hey the water is ready.” Kim pointed at the bubbling water. “Uh are going to explain to me what the hell you just said?” Zane hissed. “I just said the water was ready take a chill pill geez.” “What-no! What you said before that!” “I didn't say anything before that I just woke up...well not just this moment. You know when you wake up and feel hazy for a while?” “That doesn't...yeah okay. Never-fucking-mind.” Zane told Kim, leaving the kitchen. “Geez what's his problem?” Kim mumbled, as he walked out of the room. “Gosh these blackouts are getting worse and worse, I don't even remember how I got here! Well….at least I can make myself some coffee.” Kim sighed, worried about her current predicament. “We'll be gone soon, then I'll be able to get myself checked out... hopefully.”

________________________________________

Garroth stood at the entrance to the cave, he gazed upon the structure.

“So this...this is it…” He muttered, picking up a stone that resembled the one he had given Kim the other day from the floor. “It...it only takes one…”

[gamzee-the-capricious-fanfic]

Chapter 3

Some Notes: There is some minor friend on friend violence. And some drug mention/use. Also, I don’t like weed terminology, its boring, so i’m just going to use cheesy slang for weed cause why not

It's the day before classes, the last 4 days have been a bit rough for you. Your pangs of guilt when seeing Karkat is starting to fade but it's been a bit difficult for you to communicate with him. Not because he avoids you or anything, quite the opposite really. He's pretty much always in your business at this point. You are no longer aloud to be alone at all now which you feel is putting strain on everyone. Especially yourself. You were ok when you had at least one option to be alone, well, to be fair that last day wasn't great but you had actually just found your husktop (how did you lose it?) so at least you wouldn't have been completely bored. So far though you just feel tossed around. You don't really think anyone really wants to sit around and grub-sit you all day. You feel stifled and unable to do anything you want to do. I mean, you don't feel like you can ask someone to go with you anywhere, it has been more like you have to follow them around. But worse than that you kind of feel… unwanted. 

It's not an unfamiliar feeling. In fact you've felt that way most of your life. I mean your own lusus never really wanted to stick around. The eventual use of sopor later on helped you to not feel that way. Well, the feeling was still there but buried deep in your high as hell mind. Then of course you met your friends, but they never really wanted to hang out with you. Tavros talked to you a lot but it wasn't within his means to visit you. Karkat you felt kind of just tolerated you before you were moirails. Occasionally others would talk to you but not much. You guess you never really processed those feelings when you were doped up and now they are all up crowding your thinkpan. You wish you could get high. 

At the moment you are trailing after Nepeta and Equius. They are talking animatedly, or well Nepeta is at least. You kind of feel, in the way. You guess you are just lucky they aren't trying to incorporate you into the conversation out of guilt. You would much prefer to not interact with anyone. You wonder if you slowed down enough would they notice you were gone? They aren't looking at you so you slow your walking keeping an eye on them to see if they may look back. Once they are quite a ways ahead of you you quickly make your way behind a building so you will no longer be in line of sight. You wonder how long it will take them to see you are not with them. Best to not think about it. You're on a mission: find a way to get high so you can stop thinking about things for at least a little while. You don't intend to pick up sopor again by any means but you know there are human alternatives. You want to get high, just for today. You hope that when classes start tomorrow everything will be at least a little better. You head off towards the city, if you stay on campus, the chances of you being caught are likely.

It takes you a few hours but eventually you find a seedy motherfuckin area and actually you kind of stumble into a drug deal. It could have been bad but you waved around some money and the dealer was happy to sell to you. He offered you many different types of human drugs but you heard from Dave that weed is pretty ok and there is not a high chance of addiction. So you buy some, you probably spent more for it than it was worth but you don't really care, you pay a little extra so the dealer can show you what you are even supposed to do with it. He says the fastest way to use it is to smoke it so you figure that is what you will do. You bought enough to make a few blunts as you find out they are called, you don't really give two fucks about the terminology. You shove the packet of weed in your pocket and head on your way. 

You find a nice secluded spot just off campus and you figure its as good a place as any, so you sit on the ground back against a building and you try to figure out how a human lighter works. Alternian ones are so much easier, this design is stupid. You finally manage after a few tries, great. You roll up a motherfucker and light it. Shit makes you cough but honestly whatever it takes at this point. It takes a little bit of time but you start feeling a bit high. Not as good as sopor but it is enough to chill you out. It makes it easier not to think about things. You sigh and look up at the sky. It's about 7 pm you think. You turned off your phone so you couldn't check for sure. You decide to sit there for a while longer, even though the high makes you feel better you don't want to go back to your room. You know Karkat will just rip into you so you'd rather put it off a bit for now. You decide to light up another one. Might as well. 

The sky has long since gone dark and you still haven't gone back yet. The darkness is no obstacle of course. Trolls are technically nocturnal creatures after all. You sigh, you should probably turn your phone on at least. When it turns on you see you have 25 missed calls, all from Karkat, and a slew of messages from various friends. You don't care to look at them so you just delete them all. You look at the time while you are at it, huh, 11pm. You didn't think you had been sitting here that long. You decide you ought to get up. Your legs feel all stiff from sitting so long. You decide to slowly start walking towards the side of campus your dorm building is at. You still want to procrastinate on getting there but you know you ought to at least sleep a little before classes the next morning. You imagine Karkat might rant and rave at you for at least a couple hours. 

Your halfway to the dorm building just minding your motherfuckin business when you hear something running towards you. Your high is still going so your a bit slow to react but it is Karkat and he looks pissed. You wonder why he is not slowing down as he approaches you but you soon find out. He tackles you to the ground driving the breath out of you and then he punches you in the face. Hard. 

"YOU FUCKING VILE HORSESHIT PRICK!" He punches you again. You are too surprised by this reaction to do anything. 

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU JUST UP AND DISSAPEAR LIKE THAT!" He goes to punch you again but you grab his hand stopping him. He is practically snarling at you and every ounce of high feeling you had is gone. 

"FUCKING SAY SOMETHING YOU ASSHOLE, GIVE SOME EXCUSE I DARE YOU!" 

You kind of snap. "I DON'T NEED TO GIVE YOU A MOTHERFUCKIN REASON. I'M NOT SOME FUCKING WRIGGLER THAT NEEDS LOOKING AFTER KARKAT." You shove him off of you. You are angrier than you ever recall being. Karkat looks alarmed but you don't care. He tries to say something. 

"SHUT THE MOTHERFUCK UP AND JUST LISTEN TO ME FOR ONE GODDAMNED SECOND." You lower your voice a bit, rage is still boiling through your veins so it is more of a dangerous quiet. "I can't fucking stand to be smothered Karkat. You think I like being tossed around, unwanted, and treated like I'm broken motherfucker?" 

He stutters, the fear on his face makes you smile. "I-I---n-no Gamzee. I-I'm sorry--" 

"Of course you are. OF COURSE YOU ARE. I can make you real and truly sorry my brother." 

A timid voice comes from behind you. 

"G-Gamzee?"

You turn with an almost guttural growl at whoever interrupted you. It's Tavros. Part of you is screaming inside to not hurt him but the you that isn't you takes a step towards Tavros with a sadistic smile on your face. Karkat grabs your arm and pulls you towards him. Next thing you know your hands are around his neck squeezing. Despite that he looks calm, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close. You loosen your grip on his throat and he shooshes you. The anger is starting to slip away leaving you feeling empty. Your hands fall to your sides, you feel like a limp doll, probably look like one too. Then filling up the emptiness you feel is horror. You were going to hurt them. You almost came close to killing your moirail. 

"O-oh god, Karkat i-im sorry, i'm so sorry. I wouldn't have--" you trail off, you were lying, you would have killed him. You would have snapped his neck like a twig. You think he knows too.

You don't understand how he could stand there, comforting someone who was just seconds away from killing him. You feel sick to your stomach. Karkat is rubbing your back and murmuring to you that everything is ok. 

"But I hurt you..?" You can't comprehend that being anywhere close to ok.

"Well, to be fair I did punch you, twice.” He examines your face. “Hold still.” 

He wipes your face with his sleeve, you didn’t realize your nose was bleeding. He makes a face at the blood on his sleeve. You look down at his neck, you can still see the imprint of your hands. He notices you looking. 

“It’s fine Gamzee, It could have been worse.”

You suppose so? But still doesn’t erase the fact that you still did that and had the intention to do worse. You sigh, you do that alot these days you realize. After a moment you say in a quiet voice, not one of violence but uncertainty. 

“I… don’t see how you can still up and have any feelings for this motherfucker after all this.”

“Well, you might be a violent clown dumbass but you’re MY violent clown dumbass. Does that answer your question?”

You chuckle softly. 

 Another voice chimes in. It’s Tavros, you kind of forgot he was still there.

“Y-yeah, well, uh, I’m not in a quadrant or anything with you” He blushes profusely. “ but I still uh, care about you, uh, i-inafriendway.” He says that last bit very quickly. 

Karkat rolls his eyes, you’re not sure why though. Actually most of Tavros’s actions and words kind of confused you. You’re getting some mixed motherfuckin signals. It’s too confusing to think about right now you decide. After looking at Karkat you stifle a laugh at a thought you just had.

“You know, if no one else knew better they would probably think we were kismesis.” You gesture to your face and Karkat’s neck.

“Oh god, I can’t even imagine that. Me hate dating you? No fucking way.”

You laugh for real now, you 100% agree with that statement. Karkat grabs your hand and starts tugging you towards the dorm building. 

“Lets get you cleaned up then we are going to have a pile session, well, probably just on the lounge couch.”

Damn, you were totally ready to whip out the horn pile. After a big exaggerated sigh you smile. It's been a while since you two had a real feelings jam. 

Later in your guy's room you and Karkat are all sorts of comfy in the couch. You are lying with your head on Karkat’s lap and he is running his hands through your hair. You have already went back over and talked about the whole feeling suffocated thing, this time with less yelling and violence. Karkat was thinking of a way to compromise, you get to do whatever but he still wants a way to know if you are unsafe or feel like you might have a seizure. 

“Ok, how about, a text warning? Like not a word or anything that may be too long. Maybe an emoji?” 

You yawn, It’s really fucking late. “Yeah sure Kar, that sounds fine by me.” You think for a moment. “I guess we should pick one then?”

Karkat starts flipping through the emojis on his phone occasionally showing you one that he thinks would be appropriate. You just want a funny one though.

“Look, Its gotta be something you wouldn’t normally use ok? These fucking stupid ones look like something you would just randomly send me.”

You suppose he is right. He searches intently before pointing at one. It is a red x lookin thing. 

“This one, remember that you dumbass.”

“Sure Karbro, now, not to be too much of a buzzkill on this whole pale sesh but can we go to sleep now?” You yawn again.

“Oh god Gamzee, please never call this that ever again. An idiot like you knows what it sounds like.” He is making a face. “Now maybe get the fuck off of me then we can sleep.” 

You sigh, then you grab him and pull him down to lie on the couch next to you. He grumbles. 

“What the fuck are you doing Gamzee.”

“Oh no bro, I am too motherfucking tired to get the fuck up so I guess you are just stuck here.” You smile and pull him in close, no escape for this motherfucker. 

Karkat mutters some very interesting curses but ends up settling down giving in. You love it when you win. 

Some inspiration songs for this Chapter:

The Reason cover by Chase Holfelder https://youtu.be/jsLHVKGIMik

Fit for Rivals Damage https://youtu.be/MsWzZ4SnhSk 

Twenty one pilots Car Radio https://youtu.be/KAmBKyfoJCY

And Every Breath You Take cover by Chase Holfelder https://youtu.be/KAmBKyfoJCY

^ this one more like Karkat in this chapter

[justisaisfine]

God i love french

Virgil laid on his bed, with Remy on the floor beside him, tallkng about whatever it is they do.

Remy looked at Virgil, and after a few momwnts of silence, begins to speak French.

“tu sais combien je t'aime? comment j'aime tout de toi? J'adore la manière dont tes yeux s'illuminent de joie quand tes frères sont heureux ou que tu écris la chanson parfaite lryic, ou joue une nouvelle mélodie à la guitare. J'aime la façon dont vos cheveux ont tendance à tomber dans votre visage, mais cela ne compte pas pour vous. J'adore ce que je sais de toi à propos de toi mais si peu, parce qu'il y a des choses que je ne devrais pas savoir, et c'est bon, et ce que je sais est celui que je veux, celui qui est juste devant moi. J'adore la façon étonnante dont ta voix sonne, mais je veux honnêtement te faire taire en t'embrassant tellement, parce que tu es adorable quand tu parles de te faire aimer, que je veux embrasser ces lèvres qui font un kilomètre par minute. oh dieu virgil je t'aime, je veux te serrer dans mes bras et t'embrasser et te câliner et être à toi. J'aime votre détermination, votre désir de faire ce que vous pouvez, comment vous protégerez ceux que vous aimez et ce que vous aimez de toutes vos forces. j'aime comment, même si je les hais, vous connaissez tous les mèmes et comment vous m'avez aidé à comprendre, vous êtes là pour moi et m'aidez et je veux juste vous prendre par la main et vous embrasser et vous embrasser votre nez et votre front et vos joues et partout! tu es mon.” Remy said

Virgil nods at him.“ditto, coolio. Down with the person who took away that one special coffee.”

Remy laughed.“im glad you dont know French, its fun.”

Virgil said.“ok look, i heard my name, I think you said meme at one point, and that was it. What did you say?”

Remy smirked.“just stuff about Starbucks.”

Viefil nods and held up his phone. It was on a recording app.“cool, then ill just ask Logan or Dee to translate this for me.”

Remy tackled Virgil, trying to get his phone.“nope no delete it!” He was blushung. He could NOT let Virgil heard that in English. No way! Logan might keep it a secret, but there is about a 25 percent chance he won’t. Dee? Depends on his mood. Will either make up a lie, tease Virgil, tell him. Or worse. Teach Virgil French.

Virgil laughs below Remy who finally manages to wrestle the phone out of his hands and delete the recording.

Virgil smirked.“no need to get so defensive over coffee.”

Remy blushed but shrugged.“like i said, it’s dumb. Plus I said about ten curse words and if roman found out, i wouldnt be aloud back.” He lied.

After Remy deleted the audio file, he took a second to observe what was going on.

He was straddling virgil’s hips, with Virgil in a opened ripped hoodie, messy hair and skinny jeans below him.

And Remy was about 5 inches from his face.

This wasnt good. Not good at all.

But oh so perfect.

If he did it now, it would be a quick kiss, maybe he could blame gravity and say it was an accident when he went to get up if virgil didnt respond well.

Yeah thats it. He would adjust so it seemed like he is getting off, he would press his lips to virgil’s for a second, maybe slightly longer, but still short enough to be an accident. He would sit up quick and get off him saying, ‘hey sorry, I Miller’s and if Virgil was just wanting to be friends, he would ingore it, if he wanted to be more well…maybe remy wouldnt have time to get off him.

But before Remy could put his plan into action, the bedroom door swing open.

“Virgil, Remy! We put on treasure planet! Oh?” Patton stood at the door, way, Remy sat up,“I was just after his phone is all!” He got off Virgil, wishing he had kissed him instead of thinking of what to do.

Patton giggled.“no need to get defensive Remy! I trust you.” Remy believed Patton, but there was that hidden…warning to his voice,

Virgil sat up.“ah cool, treasure planet yas!” And left hisbroom.

Parfon smled once it was just him and Remy.“now Remy, if you just confessed, i might not have ruined your moment.” He giggled. Remy blushed. He wasn’t …thAt….obvious, was he?

“Im sure you two would be so cute together! But if you break virgil’s heart apart…well, your relationship wont be the only thing that is over!~” and Patton skipped off to movie night.

Remy was thoroughly terrified.

—–

After Remy left, Virgil gushed to his brothers.“so i recorded him cause he was ranting and honestly he could probably say he took over China and kissed the warts on a pig and it would sound romantic. So i record him to tease him and I thought i would ask logan or dee later, maybe use google translate if im desperate. He tackled md onto the bed- calm,down Roman, not in a bad way- and he is trying so hard and related the recording. Said he cursed, but he taught me all the French curses- so i can avoid them Roman, not use them! Haha…ha- anyways! and he is sitting on my lap and oh his his face was so close. I should have kissed him! But then i might have ruined our friendship but i might have made it a relationship but then..just…feelings.” Hs sighed

Meanwhile, dee was on the phone listening to reny rant after almost kissing Virgil.

—–

This is what i typed into google translate 

do you know how much i love you? how i love everything about you? i love the way your eyes light up in joy when your brothers are happy, or you write the perfect song lryic, or play a new melody on the guitar. i love the way your hair tends to fall in your face, but it doesnt matter to you. i love how i know so mu h about you but so little, because there are things i shouldnt know, and that is ok, and the you i know is the one i want, the one who is right here in front of me. i love the amazing way your voice sounds, but i honestly want to shut you up by kissing you so much, because you look adorable when you talk about someehing you love, that i want to kiss those lips that go a mile a minute. oh god virgil i love you, i want to hug you and kiss you and cuddle you and be yours. i love your determination, your desire to do what you can, how you will protect who you love and what you love with all your might. i love how, even if i hate them, you know every meme out there, and how you helped me figure out me, you are there for me and help me out and i just want to take you by the hand and kiss you and kiss your nose and forehead and cheeks and everywhere! you are my world and my sunshine, my moon and my universe, you are everything, and i crave to tell you in english but you understand english and i am afriad of rejection

@sockpansy AHHHHH THIS IS SO SO SO GOOD WTHECKY Remy is so so smooth when he wants to;; b o i speak up boi

（。≖ิ‿≖ิ）Remy please get your mind out the gutter

(google translate has gotten better since the last time i used it hahahah it still automatically translates you to vous which wouldnt be the correct this for remy to use in this (he’d use Tu instead or vous since Virgil is close to him and also not 80 years old hahaha)

[gray-autumn-sky]

Sleepless in Seattle, Chapter 9

March 6, 1993- Seattle, Washington:

Belle carries a bologna and cheese sandwich that’s cut up in quarters over to Roland, grinning as he grins up at her to accept it.

“So, she begins, sitting down across from him. “Your dad said you were having a friend over today after school. Did something happen?”

“No,” Roland says easily as he bites into the sandwich. “I ride the bus, but Gus doesn't, so his mom had to pick him up like she always does and bring him over.”

“Oh—“

“He said he had to make a stop.”

“He did,” Belle says, her brow arching. “Not his mum?”

“Nope. Him.”

“Ah—“

Roland nods as he chews  the bread’s crust. “We have a project we need to work on and we needed paper.”

“I’m sure you have paper here. You’ve got a whole bin of construction paper and—“

“No,” Roland says, cutting in and shaking his head. “We need nice paper for this.”

“Oh. Okay then.”

Roland grins and nods, then takes a bigger bite of the danish. “It’s really important that we have nice paper.”

“Oh…” Belle shifts and straws in a breath. “So your dad has been seeing my friend, Emma.”

“Emma is your friend?”

“Yes, mine and Ruby’s.”

“Oh, I… I didn’t know that.”

“Your dad says you don't like her.”

Roland shrugs. “I don’t really know her.”

“That’s fair,” Belle says slowly. “I just… I just want you to understand that just because they go on dates sometimes, that… that doesn't mean he’s going to marry her.”

Roland’s brow furrows as he looks back at her. “Then, what's the point of dating her?”

“Well, to… get out and get back in the swing of things and…”

“I don’t have a problem with my dad dating.”

“So, it’s...just Emma you don’t like?”

“I just don't think she’s right for him.”

“That’s why people date. To find someone who is right for them, and that’s a decision that no one else can make for another person.”

Roland nods, considering it. “Then why did you and Aunt Ruby set him up with Emma?”

“Because he’s a really good guy and she's nice and… we thought they might be good together.”

“I like Regina better.”

“Who?”

“Regina,” he says, as if she should know. “The lady who wrote the letter on the pretty paper.” He grins. “She likes Hemingway just like dad does, she has a son who is in Boy Scouts and I’ll be in Boy Scouts next year, and she makes great lasagna, dad’s favorite.” Roland grins as he considers it, and then his grin fades away. “Emma makes Shepherd’s pie. It was not good.”

“Not everyone is gifted in the kitchen.”

“I know, that’s why dad needs someone who is.”

At that, Belle laughs. “So where is this Regina person from?”

“Connecticut.”

“Roland, that’s really far away. It’s all the way on the other side of the country.”

“I know where Connecticut is. I looked it up on the big map at school.” He pauses and takes another bite of the sandwich. “But Gus says a long distance relationship can be a good thing because abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.”

“Um, I think you mean absence, Roland.”

“Yeah. That. That’s what Gus said.”

Belle’s eyes narrow. “Gus as in the little boy that’s coming over to play?”

��To work on a project.”

“Oh, are you not friends with Gus that way?”

“He’s my best friend.”

“Oh, I just…” Belle stops. “Never mind.”

“Well, that may or may not be true, but who am I to argue with the sage advice of a six year old?”

“Gus is seven. He had a late birthday, so he could have been in second grade.”

A grin twists on to Belle’s lips. “That explains it then.”

“Yeah…”

The doorbell rings just as Roland is finishing his sandwich, and as soon as it does, he stuffs the rest of the sandwich into his mouth and runs to the door. And Belle can’t help but laugh as he pulls open the front door, grabs a hold of his friend’s wrist and drags him up the stairs without a word…

“You should see this letter,” Roland says, closing the door behind him.

“Is the paper nice? My mom says that’s how you know someone cares—when they send you something nice.” Gus nods with a serious expression on his round face. “It’s all about the effort, ya know.?”

Roland nods in agreement. “It’s very nice.”

“Then she really likes your dad.”

“Yeah,” Roland says, grabbing the letter from his night stand. “And she included so many of the things my dad likes, without even knowing it.”

“Wow.”

“I know,” Roland says handing his friend the letter. “Look.”

He watches as Gus looks at the envelope, examining it carefully as if looking for clues, then he unfolds the letter, his eyes slowly moving over the words. “You read this?”

“Well… not.. not all of it,” Roland admits. “Just the words I know. But I can tell it’s a really good letter.” He grins. “She quoted Hemingway, and one of the quotes she uses, my dad has a journal that says that same thing on the front.”

“Cool.”

“Right? She is a good cook, too.”

“My dad says that’s super important.”

“Her best meals are my dad’s favorite which is lasagna and then my favorite, apple pie.”

“That’s amazing,” Gus says, his eyes widening a little. “Why did your dad say?”

Roland frowns. “He didn’t read it.”

“Why not?”

“He’s got a girlfriend.”

“Does she make apple pie?”

“No, she makes Shepherd's pie.”

“Ew.”

Roland nods. “It had peas in it.”

“Gross. She’s gotta go.”

“Yeah,” Roland frowns. “She’s… not that bad, really. She rollerblades, I guess.”

“Has she taken you?”

“No.”

“Oh. Then what good is that?”

“I don't know,” Roland admits, “Maybe she will someday.”

“But maybe your Dad’ll dump her before that.”

“I hope so,” Roland says, a little grin pulling onto his lip. “That’s why I invited you over, actually.”

“Need me to throw a fire and scare her of? My dad says I’m ‘specially skilled at making people wanna leave when I get upset about stuff.” He giggles. “Have you ever seen Parent Trap?”

“No. “What’s that?”

“Only the best movie ever. Twins scare off their dad’s terrible girlfriend.”

“Well, I’m not a twin, so I don’t think that would work,” Roland says, considering it as he shifts a bit uncomfortably. “Plus, not actually terrible. I don’t want to scare her,” he says. “I just want her to break up with my dad ‘cause there’s someone better for him.”

“That’s the point,” Gus says. “To make Emma go away.”

“I have a better idea, though,” Roland says, sitting up a little straighter and smiling at his own cleverness. “We are going to write her.”

“Her—“

“Regina,” Roland says. “We are going to write back to her.”

“We’re in first grade, Roland.”

“But we’re the best writers in our class. Our teacher is always saying that.”

Gus nods. “That’s true.”

“So, together, I think we could probably write a pretty good one.”

For a moment, Gus considers it. “We did get an A on that Halloween story was wrote together.”

“Exactly.” Taking a breath, Gus looks down at the letter. “I have some ideas. I started yesterday.”

“Let’s see.”

Reaching back into the nightstand, Roland pulls a lined piece of paper from the drawer. “It’s, just a draft, obviously.” He says, handing the paper over to Gus, watching as Gus reads it to himself then clears his throat to read aloud.

“Dear Regina,” he begins.”You sound really neat—“ Gus grins up at him. “That's a good line.”

“I thought so,” Roland beams.

“You should tell her how much you like lasagna next.”

“Yeah! And why!”

“Good,” Gus nods, looking down at the rest of the letter. “That's good. She is going to love this!”

_____

March 6, 1993- Greenwich, Connecticut:

That evening she and Daniel went out on a date—dinner while Henry was at a friend’s working on a project for school. Daniel suggested the little place in Hartford where they’d gone on their first date, and she’d easily agreed—Henry didn't have to be picked up until nearly eight that evening and it’d have nice to eat in a restaurant that didn’t have children’s section on the menu.

They took her car and when they got into the freeway, Daniel flicked on the radio, and almost immediately her cheeks flushed at the sound of Doctor Hopper’s voice.

“Isn’t this that show you like so much?”

Regina shrugs. “I’m, um… I’m actually doing a story for work on this show.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, it’s... it’s about its emotional appeal.”

“Ohh, that's… that’s actually really interesting. I’d like to hear about it sometime,” Daniel tells her, offering a quick little grin. “When did you start this?”

“Um, a couple of weeks ago.”

“Is it—“

“Can we… not talk about it right now? I’ve spent the whole day thinking about the angle I wasn’t to take for this story and what my argument is going to be, and I just… I just want to focus on something else.”

“Yeah, sure,” Daniel says easily, not seeming to pick up any any of her discomfort over this particular topic. “Do you want to change the station?”

“No,” she murmurs. “I do like this show. It’s… it’s oddly calming.”

“Alright then,” Daniel says, grinning as he looks over at her. “We’ll listen, but not discuss.”

“Perfect,” she says, grinning back.

Daniel tuns up the sound just as Doctor Hopper comes back informing listeners  that he’s talking to couples who are sure they’ve found the key to a long-lasting and healthy marriage. And then, they listen to a string of callers explain to Doctor Hopper and his listeners how they married someone they felt was their best friend.

When they arrive at the restaurant, the host leads them to the same table they’d ate at on their first date and she and Daniel had both laugh at the coincidence—and then something glitters in Daniel’s eyes.

And again, she found herself with an uneasy feeling that has become commonplace whenever she thinks he might be considering a proposal.

They get through an appetizer and dinner—and then, after their desert arrives, she watches Daniel reach into the breast pocket of his jacket and pull out a ring box.

She masks her discomfort with surprise and suddenly when the box opens, revealing to her a gorgeous antique ring that he tells her was his mother’s, the entire restaurant is staring that them.

She’s not even sure what he says when he asks because she can’t hear him over the beating of her heart and the voice in her head that tells her this is too soon—but he smiles and the crowded restaurant aww’s and she finds herself nodding, reminding herself that Daniel is, by far, the sweetest, kindest man she’s ever met, that he loves her son and that he loves her, and she reminds herself that she would be a complete fool not to want to marry him.

And as she stares at him with a hundred conflicting thoughts going through her head, she couldn’t help but think there were far worse things than marrying a man like Daniel Colter; and while she and Daniel might not have had passion, but perhaps they had something better.

She comfort and ease, understanding and trust and the sort of love that came from what seemed to be rekindled friendship.

So, she says yes.

The restaurant claps and Daniel pulls her into a warm hug—and she sort of melts into him as she feels a burst of contentment that lasts for the rest of the evening.

And then, she gets home.

Mal is there, curled up one he armchair with a glass of wine, her brow arched skeptically.

“Thank you, for, um,... for picking Henry up.”

“He’s never any trouble.”

Regina smiles. “Is he already asleep.”

“Yeah, He went to bed about a half an hour ago. You just—“ Mal stops and sits up a little straighter as her eyes fall to Regina’s hand. “Oh, so that’s why you were detained.”

Smiling Regina nods. “We… um… we had some unexpected celebrating to do.”

“I’ll say, Mal says, getting up and cross the room toward her. “He finally did it.”

“He finally did.”

“And, you obviously said yes.”

I did,” Regina says smiling a bit shyly. “I… wasn’t sure, but then there he was with the ring and—“

“Regina—“

“I love him. I do. And what we have might not be perfect, but it’s incredible and I’m happy and I’ve never been as happy as I am with him.”

“What about Sleepless in Seattle?”

“Sleepless in Seattle doesn't even know that I exist.”

Mal nods, biting down on her lip. “What happened to not being able to get him out of your head?”

“He’s a fantasy Mal. He’s not real… not… not to me anyway.” She shakes her head. “And Daniel is very real and when I’m with him I feel—“

“Magic?”

“Mal—“

“Please don’t do this, Mal,” Regina says, pressing her eyes closed as she sighs. “Please just let me have this.”

“What about your story?”

“What’s about it? Regina asks, stepping away from Mal. “I can still write it.”

“Really? Because I got the impression the story was an excuse.”

“The story isn’t an excuse. It’s… it’s just something I’m interested in.” She shakes her head. “I… I think I was going down a really unhealthy road, and… and tonight sort of… snapped me back and put me down a different path.”

“A better one?”

“A healthier one. One that’s based on something real, not… not some obsession.” Something about that makes Mal soften. “For so long I was so unhappy, and I spent years building up this idea of what love is supposed to be.”

“You deserve a fairytale.”

“Fairytales aren't real, Mal. They’re not and what I have with Daniel is very real.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes, of course I do.”

“Are you in love with him?”

“I love him, Mal, and when I envision what our life together would be like, I really like what I see.” She smiles gently. “We’ll be happy.”

“You don’t seem excited.”

“I am, and for the first time in my life, I feel like… like I’m finally in a good place. Please, Just… let me have that.”

Mal sighs and nods,m and then a warm smile pulls onto her lips. “Okay, fine,” Mal says, take a few steps in and pulling her into a hug. “If you're happy, then I’m happy.”

“Thank you,” Regina murmurs as Mal pulls back.

“Okay, so I want you to tell me everything, Mal says, her smile brightening as she takes Regina by the hand. “Don’t leave anything out!”

[classycollectorartisanposts-blog]

Insurance Claim check question.?

"Insurance Claim check question.?

Hello, recently I got a claim check from my insurance, anyways im a student right now, no job, and the problems are costemic, nothing really mechanical, let's say that the price to fix it was 2k, but I received a check for 1.5k with the deductible included does that mean I can keep the money or fix it if I wish to or not? meaning the deductible is already taken care of?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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I don't want to be on my mom's because mine will be higher than normal because hers is already really high.I'd rather just have my own insurance.Thanks in advance!!

Insurance Claim check question.?

Hello, recently I got a claim check from my insurance, anyways im a student right now, no job, and the problems are costemic, nothing really mechanical, let's say that the price to fix it was 2k, but I received a check for 1.5k with the deductible included does that mean I can keep the money or fix it if I wish to or not? meaning the deductible is already taken care of?

Why do men pay more for car insurance than women?

This fact is surely sexism based on pure stereotypes rather than relevant information such as the driver's history. Doesn't this just portray the stereotype that men are more irresponsible or 'risk takers' when it comes to driving? Why not base car insurance on ethnicity?

How cheap can you get car insurance for if you teach drivers ed?

I'm going to school for Health and Physical Education, definitely thinking about minoring in Drivers Ed. to add a little something extra to my resume. The course seems easy enough and I'll be able to make money during the summer while my other teacher friends are painting houses. I'm curious how much of a deduction on car insurance these guys get. Anyone know?""

Can you get car Insurance with No Bank Account?

My question is would it be a problem to obtain car insurance without having a bank account, my credit is in the toilet because someone ran up my debit card and the over draft fees forced the account closed, and now the bank is asking for $600.00, and I can't afford to pay that off with the kind of salary I have, so can anyone let me know if their would be any difficulty in just paying in cash or perhaps money orders or even a check in someone elses name?? thanks""

When can I drop full coverage insurance?

I have a 2010 nissan versa I have full coverage I wanted to know how long until i can drop the full coverage and will my insurance rate be lower?

Can anybody help me about car insurance?

For the last few months I've been sharing my Dad's car, I've been a named driver for that car. Now I've bought my own car, however, at the moment I cannot afford to pay the 220 starter fee to insure me on my own car just yet. So my question is, if I upgraded the insurance on my Dad's car to fully comp. Will I be covered to drive my car? I'm 17 by the way, if that changes anything. Any help will be very much appreciated.""

Health Insurance Cost - Private option or School option?

For those of you who have experience about buying health insurance, what is the average annual cost? And usually, what is the minimum cost for basic health coverage, vision and dental coverage? (Particularly in the U.S.) Should I buy health insurance from a private company or from my university? Thanks a lot for your time.""

What insurance companies provide non-owner auto insurance in Ohio?

looking to insure myself for car insurance in columbus ohio but I dont own a car.

Where can I get individual health insurance that will cover Pregnancy?

I live in a small town in Texas, I was recently married in June 2008, we got pregnant with twins but unfortunatly had a miscarriage...one of hardest things I have ever had to deal with...anyways...we want to try again but I really want to have health coverage and not have to pay out of pocket...does anyone know of any health insurance that covers pregnancy...from what everyone else is telling me no individual policy will cover me if i get pregnant...if anyone can help I would appreciate it...""

Anyone have experience with Western and Southern life insurance co.?

I am looking to purchase term insurance

Why do we still allow auto insurance providers (since it is a law we must get liability)?

to check our credit to give us the cost? This doesn't seem fair. What should our credit score have to do with the cost of liability?

Can you help me make some sense of these health insurance policies?

I'm 7 months pregnant and making plans to line up health insurance for my baby. The plan my company offers is a decent HMO with $20 deductibles for everything but it costs $305 per month! That's over $3,500 per year! I started doing some research and I am finding that I can get a PPO direct from the insurance company for less. I'm confused as to which plan is best though, I found a PPO though Blue Cross that is $155 per month with $40 deductibles. I found a PPO through Kaiser that is $163 per month. I pay 100% of everything up to $1500, then Kaiser picks up everything else. Confused....""

What are the best car insurance's?

I had geico but now I was thinking about nationwide or Triple AAA.

How much does testosterone therapy cost per month?

I'm a young trans guy (almost 20) and I don't have insurance. It is important to me that I start hormone therapy while I am still in college, but I need to know if I can ...show more""

Question regarding life insurance for children?

I have 6 children between the ages of 19 and 3..so i am interested in buying a life insurance that will cover college expenses, but i don't know which one to go for..does anyone know if gerber life insurance would be a good option?""

""Car Insurance, including APR?""

So, im looking for car insurance and I found the cheapest one for me. 'A deposit of 70.00 payable by credit or debit card followed by 10 monthly instalments by Direct Debit of 55.90. Total payable is 629.00 including APR of 29.6%.' What does it mean including APR of 29.6% That I will have to pay an extra 29.6%. Its my 3rd year driving and I've never seen this before.""

6 penalty points for driving without full license?

I recently received 6 points for driving without full license and no insurance. Car was insured but named driver was not in the car (i was insured as well but without somebody over 21 years old with license next to me so insurance is not valid then) What happens next? It was stupid idea but you always learn on mistakes :I

""I am 18 years old and have 6 points on my driving license, will my insurance cost go down after a year?

I currently aren't on any insurance policy!

How come different auto insurance agencies charge different prices for the same insurance company?

yes i went to three different insurance agencys to see what quotes theyll give me. one say said ill pay 50 a month and 140 down payment for access auto insurance . the other agency said ill pay 60 a month and 90 down payment for the same company. and the third agency said i would probably not qualify for access auto insuranc. im 20 year old male riverside ca 94 accord. why would three different agencys quote diferently for the same auto company ? whyyy is it a scam

Adding additional drivers to my car insurance..?

Will adding my mom or dad (perfect driving record) affect them or their insurance at all? Or, if I got into an accident, would it go on their record? The policy would still be in my name...they would simply be listed as a secondary driver. Please only knowledgeable answers. It's crucial I get this figured out correctly.""

Where are the best Extended Auto Warranties Online - An Extended Auto Warranty that isn't too overpriced?

Where can I find an extended auto warranty online that is also good value? The one that came as standard with my car is very basic but their extended auto warranty plan is way overpriced. I'm now worried I'll have to pay out thousands in repair costs because something goes wrong with my car, conveniently just after the warranty expires. Is an extended auto warranty something I can get from an independant source?""

How much would car insurance be for a 16 year old girl with a mustang?

I will be turning 16 and getting my license in January and i plan on getting a Mustang 2008 GT not certain the color yet although i understand that affects the cost of insurance. Its most likely to be red, which i also understand it will cost more for red. Anyways it will be a convertible. So i would just like an estimate on monthly cost for insurance. and if your one of those adults that is just gonna mouth off that its not reasonable for a teen to get a mustang convertible, your just trying to look cool ect ect, please dont, adults always feel the need to be snarky i just am asking what you estimate is thank you for your time!(:""

Can you really get auto insurance for less than $30 per month?

I have been amazed with all of the TV ads and online ads showing young adults claiming that you can get auto insurance for under $30 per month. I am 48 years old, live in Los Angeles, have a clean driving record, no tickets or accidents in over 10 years. So I went to my neighborhood insurance broker a few weeks ago and he told me that the only way a person could get the minimum insurance required by the state of California, they would have to be at least 70+ years old, driving a 70's Buick, with a clean driving record. LOL!!! Yet since I just seen a commercial on TV a few minutes ago, showing the typical young adults (between 18 to 25 years of age) so happy and perky that they are able to get auto insurance for less than $30 a month, I figured I would toss this question out to Answers Yahoo to see if there are any such insurance companies here in California, that offers the basic auto insurance required by law in California for someone my age and with my driving record for less than $30 per month.""

Difference between policy holder and insured?

In Royal Sun Alliance my husband has two letters, one mentioned policy holder and the other insured. Whats the difference between them?""

How much would auto insurance be for an 18 year old female?

ok I have good grades (straigh A's) I will be driving around 2,500 miles 5 days a week I will be able to drive a 2001 chevy tahoe, 2004 honda civic and 95 toyota camry main car is 95 toyota camry though i live in san bernardino what would be the average amount for insurance? where can i go to get cheap liability insurance?""

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much does it cost per month, How old are you? what kind of deductable do you have?? Feel free to answer also if you don't have insurance.""

Insurance Claim check question.?

Hello, recently I got a claim check from my insurance, anyways im a student right now, no job, and the problems are costemic, nothing really mechanical, let's say that the price to fix it was 2k, but I received a check for 1.5k with the deductible included does that mean I can keep the money or fix it if I wish to or not? meaning the deductible is already taken care of?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/calculate-how-much-insurance-i-can-afford-peter-holland/"

[magdathemadam-blog]

What a day

Today was, well, something of a mixed bag. It began as it usually does, I woke just before my alarm and pop out of bed. I keep it on the other side of the room so I have to get up to turn it off.  I stumbled around for a few minutes, awake but unwilling. Since I didn’t have class until 1, I decided to go back to sleep until 9. This is always a mistake. I wake up ready to meet the world (usually) and should stay up until nap time. (I only sleep for a few hours at night and few more hours in the afternoon) I slept until 12:40, make up with a raging migraine, the kind that wraps around your head, telling you that sleep is your only option, but the more you sleep the worse it gets. My eyes feel cloudy, my throat and mouth are dry. Part of me wants to skip my 30- minute singing lesson, but the word Dicipline is printed across my white board in all caps. Its the one thing I lack and what I wish to gain. I throw myself together and make it to class, 5 minutes late but there. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining but it isn’t hot. A soft breeze carries the scents of new life, melted snow and pine. Every inhale is a pleasant bath that washes away all impurities. My headache is gone within a minute of being outside. I have an urge to stay outside, to cling to the free air. Still, Discipline. I go inside.  I love my professor. A wide hipped, small chested woman with curly amber hair, cut into an asymmetrical a line. She has a pure, sweet voice that I could listen to all day. We spend the first ten minutes chatting, laughing about our lives.Then, we practice. The first time is always the roughest. I struggle to stay on. It’s the change in note, from deep to high or high to deep. If the change is gradual, I can do it. If its sudden, I struggle. This is the reason we’ve chosen scarborough fair. The key is higher than I’ve ever done, but my professor insisted that I could do it. After three weeks of practice, I can hit all the notes and my lungs no longer struggle to hold them.  I love the way she encourages me. Tells me that she’s impressed, admits whens she does things wrong. She tells me when I’m wrong and gently moves me back to center. I can’t help but think back to every other music instructors I've had, to the man who made me hate my voice.I don't do so with the bitter scorn I used to. I smile. Shes never told me I sound like a rodent or compared me to a dying animal. Instead, she there to adjust my voice, tells me that its like an instrument, with fine tuning anyone can sing well. With fine tuning, my voice can be great. She points out the things she likes, what others will like,. We end with a reminder that next week I’ll perform. I’m looking forward to it, but I do feel a bit of nerves stir in my stomach. I’ve sang in front of people a few times, I love to be in front of an audience.  I wander down to trio, the best place to get lunch and feed myself. Chili cheese dog on a slice of wheat bread. I spend some time down there, shooting the breeze with the instructors and some of my fellow students. We talk about graduation, what we want to do afterwards. I give one of them my 60-second sell on AmeriCorps. Once socialization draws to a close, a find a coloring page and doodle. At 3pm, my dicipline alarm goes off. Its time to do my homework. I feel inspired, I’m ready to do it, so I head back to my dorm. Again, the air makes me want to mess off, spend my time outside. Spring fever has begun to set in. I can hardly wait to finish my work so that I might frolic in the fresh grass. When I get into my dorm, my calico Luci Fur, greets me with a trill and rolls onto her back. She loves to flaunt her belly and I’m the only one aloud to pet her there. My laptop rests on the bed, open and playing her favorite playlist. A Dethklok song, Murmaider, thrums its heart beat sound. I spend a fw minutes rubbing her belly and bumping my head along with the beat before I slip the computer onto my lap. I get some work done, not as much as I should, before I take a small cuddle break. Luci is being too cute not to snuggle. I put the laptop next to me and lay down across the bed. I wiggle, trying to find a comfortable possition. Luci purrs and extrends her claws into my face. She pulls me closer. One of my legs is still folded underneath me, the weigth of my body cutting off blood. I pull it out, trying to do so without having to move anything else. My foot pops free and strikes into something hard with the full force of my strength. I feel my laptop fly off of the bed and hear it land. I cant look. I know its broken. I dont need to get up to look. I shielf my face in lucis chest.  I dont want to look.  I force myself and find that, infact, the screen is destroyed. The upper right corner is a mess of sprider webs, fracturing out across the screen. The rest of it is a chalk white, struggling to blink back on.  It’s ruined. I’m such an idiot.  Immediately, I look at the time, its not past 5, which means that the IT guys will probably still be in there office. WIthout wasting another second, I shove the technology into its case and rush it to the hospital, like it was my loved one. My voice is tight while I explain whats happened. He doesn’t laugh, he looks quite sympathetic. He explains that theres little he can do, but hooks it up to a spare monitor anyway. He gives me a flash drive and helps me move my files. He tells me I’ll need a new screen but he’ll put it in for free.  The screens range from 50-200$ and I have all of 4$ in my account. Once I get what I can onto a flash drive, I wander back towards my dorm. Texting my bestie, I find comfort in her sympathy, though we both know theres nothing to do. My family is not well off but I reach out to my mom anyway. Without my computer, I’ll fail.  I tell her what happened and she tells me, regrettably, she has no money. Her voice is sullen and a little defensive. My other siblings would be quick to rage about this. Im sad, but I tell her its ok. It’s my own damn fault, anyway. We spend some time trying to brain storm. I consider taking another loan from the school, but on top of being that much more owed, it’ll take over a week to process. My brother has a computer that he connects to his tv and uses for nothing else. I consider asking if we could switch until the semester is over when my mom intturupts. She’s been struck by genuis. She can bring me her old television and an HDMI cord. The tv was destined for donation; what better way to rehome it then giving it to her child? She excitedly tells me she’ll come over as soon as she’s had her evening coffee and hangs up. Despite the over reaching cloud to depression, I find my sunshine. This will be like a desktop, in some ways better than what I had before.  I spend the next hour or so chatting on the phone with my bestie. She reads me her story, teasing me with the unfinished chapter. She finishes just in time, my mother has arrived. She brings me dinner and we spend some time enjoying each others company. Its been several weeks since the last time we got to hang out. She doesn’t feel great and heads home.  I set up the television and connect my computer. Ready to finish my homework, I push the televisions on button. It shifts awkwardly under my finger. Nothing else happens.

I meddle with it.

Its broken.

For the first time I feel the cascading wave of defete crash into me. It hurts. My eyes begin to sting, filling with tears. Who the fuck did I piss off? I want to scream, jump up and down and cry.

Of course, I dont want to bother any of the little snow flakes, so I just stare at the two screen. One blank and emotionless, the other a twitching, shattered mess. With a deep breath a turn the tv towards me and examine the button. I fiddle with it for several minutes. I will not let this happen. 

Mark me, if I have to tear this apart and rebuild the entire thing from bolts, I will.

The tv lights up, a dim blue-grey glow. 

It works!

I take a picture, send it to my mom and bestie before I sit down and finish my homework.

It’s after midnight. My day is finally over. My head has begun to hurt again, but I’m not ready for bed. Instead, I get on tumblr and blog about the day I’ve had.