#to Dazai so now it isn’t that funny but i don’t care

[sableeira]

Dazai has the most basic average anime character hair in all of bsd. But how is it so hard to get his hair to look right?!? If one streak is only a bit off he suddenly looks like every other Isekai protagonist, like asumu dazai from hit-isekai “I killed myself and now I’m reborn to suffer through another life”

[tender-rosiey]

omg you're taking requests uhm, can i request for dazai and/or chuuya where he overheard his co-worker confide to kunikida or to yosano (in chuuya's case, it's tachihara or anyone in the port mafia lol) about her feelings towards him? like, she really went into detail as to why she loves him and wants to be there for him but she's scared that dazai doesn't feel the same way or she thinks he doesn't find her attractive esp when she did attempt to confess but they were too dense to put two and two together lmao im in the mood for angst and fluff so feel free to go wild with this one haha thank you~!

“RAMBLE OF LOVE”

— dazai and chuuya hearing you talk about them

DAZAI OSAMU:

“I don’t know, yosano; it’s hopeless.”

“are you serious right now?” yosano deadpans as you frown at her.

you get up, exasperated, “I have tried to confess twice! twice! and he either doesn’t get it or can’t find it in him to outright reject me!”

“you think dazai wouldn’t be able to figure something out?” she questions.

you sigh, “that means that it is the other option so I should probably stop liking him,��� accepting defeat after god knows how long.

“you know it isn’t that easy; you can’t just stop feeling for someone, y/n.”

you look at her before finally bursting, “obviously it isn’t! I have spent the majority of my time either thinking about how much I love the idiot or how I want to be by his side and be there for him!”

“with a side of solving crime and saving the world.”

“yes and that too, but honestly I have gotten to the point that I NEED him to reject me so I can move on with my life and be a normal single person!”

yosano catches a figure standing outside the door and smirks lightly before speaking up, “say y/n, why do you like dazai so much?”

“first of all, I am wayyyyy past ‘like’; second of all, I like him because he is funny, cute, charming, smart, caring when he wants, observant and most importantly, he, deep inside, wants to do good.”

“oh?” she perks up at that, “why?”

“I…dont know much about his past with the mafia, but if he left then there has to be at least a part of him that is good,” you smile softly as you gaze into the ground, “I also don’t know much does he actually trust me, but if we ever have a chance, I would like to tell him that I am willing to shoulder his pains because he doesn’t deserve to go all of that alone.”

“and all of that because you love him?” she smiles and stands up then walks to the door.

“uhh, yeah? that was literally the introduction of my monologue,” you say, watching her walking.

“well, it’s a good thing that he heard all of that,” she announces before slamming the door open, “eavesdropping is a bad trait, dazai.”

he raises his hand up in mock-surrender, “I would never do such thing.”

she rolls her eyes and ruffles your hair, “I will let you two be,” then she closes the door behind her after she leaves.

you can see dazai processing things, and soon you and dazai stare into each other for a while, but a smirk settles on his lips, “so you love me, huh?—“

“if you’re going to reject me then do it quickly please,” you hurriedly say before looking away, not being to handle looking at him.

“hey now, I never said that I was going to reject you,” he points out, softly, but you merely side-eye him so he continues, “neither am I joking.”

he pouts and mumbles, “you really have no faith in me.”

you look away once again and fail to see the small smile that makes its way to his face; however, you hear his light footsteps as he approaches you.

he takes a hold of your hand and rubs it gently with his thumb, “I am going to be honest with you,” he notices how you tense up and kisses the back of your hand to calm you down, “I was going to say that I love you too, silly.”

“are you…sure?” you ask softly and gently bumps your foreheads and hums.

“never been more sure in my life,” he admits.

he smiles teasingly, “in fact, my honesty was going to be about how much I do and why; it’s only fair if I ramble about my love for you as well, no?”

NAKAHARA CHUUYA:

“I am going to throw myself off a bridge.”

“oh no, not this again,” tachihara cowers.

“oh it’s this again!” you admit before freaking out, “did you see how good he looked getting off that motorcycle?!”

“how is he so attractive?!” you screech and he shrugs making you pout, “tachihara, cooperate!”

“I don’t see what is attractive about him!”

you take a breath and hear a small ‘what have I done’ from tachihara but start either ways, “first, his voice; holy crap his voice is so hot like yes sir please do talk more, let me listen to you talk about every single type of wine in the industry.”

“second, his eyes, they are so HEHEE! I can barely keep eye contact with him,” you fangirl and continue doing so, “and bro his entire physique honestly! I can’t think of a man that’s better than him in literally ANY category, sorry tachihara.”

he waves you off, but puts out another question, “what about his personality? what makes you so in love with him?”

“well,” you shyly start off, “he is a gentleman, he is nice, respectful, very kind and compassionate, trustworthy and overall an amazing person. I really can’t put it into words.”

“what about his anger issues?”

“oh no, he has every right to get angry at you people; everyone here is insufferable,” you say and tachihara huffs.

“but,” and the sadness in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed by your best friend, “i don’t think he feels the same.”

“why??” he asks, memory flashing back to every single time chuuya came to freak out about something cute you did and how much you fluster him, visibly so.

literally everyone can see it, except you.

“I don’t know; it’s just a feeling,” you murmur sitting down, “I am pretty obvious with my feelings and don’t necessarily hide it that much.”

that as well is true, which leads to only once conclusion that tachihara can think of: you both are undeniably stupid, clueless and are a pain in the ass to everyone around you because of how clueless you both are.

“well it’s a stupid damn feeling alright,” he quips and quickly gets a pack of tissues thrown at him.

however, he quickly recovers and with a smile and teases you, “sooo it’s safe to say that you love chuuya, right?”

“I have said that I love chuuya at least 4 times today; what’s wrong with you?”

you hear the sound of a glass breaking and turn around to see a red-faced chuuya who, for the life of him, can’t look you in the eye right now.

“oh shit,” you mumble and notice tachihara, sneaking out giggling. the bastard.

amidst the wine on the floor, the ticking of the clock and the blowing of the wind, chuuya barely mumbles out a sentence, “i l…v you… too.”

but you, obviously, didn’t hear anything, “what?”

he grumbles and walks closer to you, “i love you too.”

“chuuya, i really can’t hear you,” you say.

“I SAID I LOVE YOU TOO, YOU FREAKING IDIOT!” he yells and crosses his arms.

“jeez okay, no need to yell!” you shout back and he raises an eyebrow before sighing.

his arms wrap around your waist and he presses a kiss to your cheek, “you’re a handful, y’know.”

“already?” you giggle and he nods.

taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @dazaisdeathwish @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @shinys-bsd-world-1 @sonder-paradise @ravenina14 @jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @bakugossanity @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @luciferspen @aeanya @sweetcloudsimp @moon-catto @waosobii

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do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[monoclesnapple]

Intermediate Shenanigans

Bungo Stray Dogs Chuuya Nakahara & Gender Neutral Reader + Osamu Dazai & Reader + Odasaku X Reader Summary: Headcanons about taking care of middle schooler Dazai and Chuuya and dating Oda Beginning Note: Shoutout to all the class clowns/funny people, they're great inspiration for scenarios. @kiwibeanv helped with the stories of said funnies. Word Count: 2629 (Fluff/Crack)

First off, you're their parent figure and they live with you. All comfy with you and they trust you a lot. Now to move on to their stupidity.

Immaturity at its finest.

It’s constant arguing, pointing fingers, and the like.

They’re always fighting for your attention, pushing against each other so your hand can pet them.

You’re sitting on the couch, watching TV, when Dazai runs into the living room and jumps to the spot next to you. Since you’re leaning against the armrest, there’s only one seat next to you.

Dazai pushes himself under your arm and hugs your waist as he sighs contentedly. You idly rub his arm for a few minutes before Chuuya comes in with an annoyed expression.

“Oi, StinkZai, do your history homework before you go do whatever.”

Dazai whined and buried himself deeper into your side. “I’ll do it later! I’m tired right now.” He closed his eyes.

“Dazai, you need to do your assignments before you eventually forget and never get them done,” you told him. He let out a groan at that, “Why can’t Chuuya do it? Isn’t he supposed to listen to me since I’m smarter?”

“You’re not smarter than me! Even a shrimp can do better than you!” Chuuya sped to the two of you and pulled on Dazai until the latter fell to the floor.

“Ow!- That’s my spot!” The brunette rubbed his arm. Chuuya had stolen his spot in your arms now and smirked at the other.

“Maybe you should’ve done your homework first, you idiot!” He blew a raspberry and rested his head on your shoulder.

You sighed, “If you two continue to fight, I’m simply going to go to my room and relax without either of you.”

They both froze and looked at you then at each other. Despite their inability to cooperate without trouble, they agreed on the fact that your presence was probably the most important thing they want. They begrudgingly decided to keep quiet, moving so Chuuya can sit on one of your knees while Dazai reclaimed his initial place.

Eventually, they get their emo phases. One day, Dazai just randomly started wearing bandages over his eye, saying that he looks better.

“Why are you wasting bandages?” “Because I look so cool and a lot of girls come up to me and say I look nice! I know that so many people have a crush on me, especially when I’m like this!” “Just wait til they find out that this stupid mackerel is actually a bad person and a major turn off!” “Chuuya, don’t say that, please.”

And Chuuya had a Sonic phase. He thought the hedgehog was so cool, he wanted to be like him in as many ways he can.

He then found out about Conker’s Bad Fur Day and asked you if he could get it. You thought it’d be a wholesome game for kids, but when you looked at the plot and ratings, you didn’t buy it for him. He was sad, but got over it.

And then he came across Devil May Cry and decided to watch the gameplay and cutscenes because you might not buy it for him (you may consider, but it still has some scenes that you’re skeptical about.)

Nero from DMC4 is so cool despite the excessive “Kyrie!” throughout the game, Chuuya wants to dress like him. And dye his hair white.

Every time he loves a character, he wants to dye his hair their own hair color, but you never let him because why should he ruin his lovely hair? (He may or may not ask to dye his hair just so you can compliment him.)

Hot Topic is their favorite store because it has so many aesthetics and they love the style of the apparel.

They start simping for characters and reading fanfics. You know what they’re reading because they use the family/shared device and don’t delete the history. Why are there so many lemons? What do they mean? (Unless you’re a fanfic reader yourself)

They kinda know what sex is, they have a faint idea, but they’re probably wrong on a few things.

Hence, Dazai is excited for sex ed! Wooo! His head is smacked by Chuuya because the latter is embarrassed that he just yelled that out and now kids are looking at them.

When they’re learning about it, Dazai’s snickering at the pictures. But not the childbirth, what the actual fuck did they just watch? 

Oh boy, now they’re the cringe and immature kids who laugh at everything that can vaguely be related to sex.

Anyways, now to the scenario that was the whole reason for this

You were sitting on the couch, Dazai and Chuuya on the floor and you’re petting their heads. You check your phone, keeping a hand on Chuuya’s head and caressing it. He’s smiling with his eyes closed in bliss. Oh, how he loves this affection.

Until Dazai pushes and climbs on him to be the receiver of your pets. He smiles innocently when you glance over, but smirks at Chuuya, who shoves him as well and takes his spot back.

This continues to go on and you’re about to say something, but then the door is unlocked and opened. Dazai excitedly turns to see Oda coming in. He runs over and hugs the man while Chuuya sets himself in your lap.

After greeting Dazai, Oda is carrying him and walks to you and Chuuya, pressing a kiss to your head and ruffling Chuuya’s hair.    

You're in a relationship with Oda, and Dazai loves it.

His two favorite people together, who he might call his parents? How blessed he is!

He doesn’t know who he prefers, so the two of you are equal in his eyes. But when it comes to physical affection, he might go to Oda since Chuuya’s all over you and Dazai’s too tired to do anything. Also, he doesn’t see Oda as often as he does you.

Chuuya thinks Oda is great, but he’s not as close to him as Dazai is. If he had to choose between you or Oda, he’d honestly choose you.

Oda loves coming home to find you three waiting for him on the couch. It warms his heart that he is wanted and loved.

Either he comes home to you all cooking dinner, sleeping in a pile on the floor, playing games (board games or video) , or watching TV.

He still takes care of his adopted children at the curry shop, but he also enjoys the company of Dazai and Chuuya

Sometimes, he would bring those five kids to your house so they can play with Dazai and Chuuya. Everyone has fun, it’s like a party. (Sneaking kisses in the kitchen as everyone else plays video games on the TV)

Oda is a gentleman, whenever you two go out, he always opens the door for you, pulls out your seat, and kisses your hand when you both meet and bid goodbye to each other.

If Dazai ever sees you and Oda share a kiss, he’s cheering in his mind. Whereas Chuuya just brushes it off with an unnoticeable upwards twitch of his lips and an eye roll.

Once, you spotted Oda talking to Dazai outside under the moonlight. You knew the former was telling the teen about the right thing to do. Dazai had expressed his want of being involved in some well known group.

He hinted a little about maybe being a detective or even following Oda’s footsteps of going to the mafia. You really didn’t want him to go with the second option, but at least he’d have Oda to guide him if he’s even alive at that time

Thus, he’s told to prioritize other people’s happiness over his own. It’s tough, but it’s for the better of everyone.

He also says the same to Chuuya, but he goes into more detail with Dazai. You mainly handle Chuu with the lectures since he’s more likely to take your words to heart.

Chuuya has great friends in school, they seem like a lovely bunch, and you trust them. You’ve met them before and they were very nice.

Dazai doesn’t have as many, but you can tell he’s not really clicking with them like Chuuya is with his own. When his mood seems to lower, you go to him when he’s alone and you two cuddle. You can faintly pick up the sound of sniffles and feel your clothing moisten. After the session, you two don’t mention it because you know Dazai doesn’t want to remember that.

With any trauma, you take them to therapy. If it’s affecting either kid negatively, they need to talk about it. Initially, they talk to you, but they go see a professional of that doesn’t work.

Academically, the two of them are good. Dazai’s grades are always A’s even if he procrastinates or doesn’t seem to get his work done.

Chuuya usually gets B’s, but his PE is the best with an A+. He signs up for any sports the school offers if he’s interested.

Dazai’s lowest grade is PE, around a C because he’s not athletic like Chuuya.

Both Dazai and Chuuya have the same PE class and teacher, but their participation and effort are the opposite.

“Okay, everyone needs to do fifteen seconds of push-ups and fifteen sit-ups, let’s go! Get started!” The teacher instructed. They were walking around their class in the gym, ensuring everyone was doing what they were told.

They noticed a student lying face down next to the wall and when they walked by, they pointed at him and asked, “Who is that?”

Chuuya heard their inquiry and answered, “Dazai.”

The teacher was silent for a second before focusing back on the other students, “Let’s go! You should be on the next exercise now!”

Whenever there’s a fundraiser, they’re begging you to please donate so they can get a prize.

“Pleeeaaassseee? You can get a refrigerator stuffed with $200! Or even an iPad!” Dazai’s giving you the puppy eye(s) [depends if he’s bandaged his eye or not] and Chuuya is hugging you and kissing your cheek. “We love you so much, can you pretty please with a cherry on top donate? We’ll pay you back!” (They don’t make money, nor do they have an allowance.)

When it comes to projects, Dazai always waits until the last minute.

“Hey, can we go to the store and buy supplies? I have a project.” He whispered to you.

“Huh...?” You were woken up by him at whatever the time was, so you rubbed your eyes and sat up. Oda was still asleep beside you, a peaceful expression on his face. You kept your voice to not disturb him, “What?” When you checked the time, it was 2 am.

“I need some things for my science project,” Dazai was just standing by your bed, with big eyes, looking as though he had thrown up.

“When’s it due?”

“Tomorrow.” You frowned at that.

“Sorry bud, can’t help you. It’s too late, why aren’t you in bed?”

“I had to work on my project and other assignments,” he shifted in his spot and awkwardly averted his eyes. “I only need two things, glitter markers and a poster board.”

You stared at him tiredly, before sighing. “What happened to the ones I bought at the beginning of school?”

“I lost them.”

You blinked, unmoving. “And you can’t borrow Chuuya’s?”

He shook his head, saying they weren’t what he needed. At last, you moved the covers off your body and made your way to the closet. “Fine, go get ready. You should be thankful I’m even entertaining this idea.”

Dazai silently cheered and sped to his room. Why were you so lenient with these children? They’re gonna be spoiled.

His project was claiming that potatoes can power up devices. A stupid as it sounds, he somehow makes it convincing until it’s actually tested and obviously it doesn’t work. But he still gets a passing grade for the effort.

During one of their classes, Chuuya asked to go to the bathroom and ten minutes later when the teacher was about to ask about his location, he comes back with a lunch tray.

“Where’d you get that?” “I look like a sixth grader.”

He just munched away as everyone stared at him confused before they got back to the lesson.

Another time, the teacher left the room for a few minutes. Since Dazai wondered what their coffee tasted like, he waltzed over to the desk and took a sip and immediately spat it out.

“Ugh! It tastes like shit!” When the teacher came back, the whole class silently agreed to stay quiet and not tell on him.

When it was around Halloween and everyone could wear a costume, Dazai wore a squirrel suit. He brought an acorn prop and clipped it to the front of his pants. When walking up to the stage for the best costume contest, he hit the acorn with his legs, playing with it, until it accidently hit his balls and he crouched to the floor in pain. Of course, the guys winced at it, but it was pretty funny. Someone, Chuuya probably, yelled out, “He busted a nut!”

More nonsense, pantsing sometimes occurred. And Chuuya was the unfortunate target for Dazai. He had snuck up behind the former, and yanked down his pants. Regrettably, Dazai’s fingers also caught onto the waistband of the undergarments and when it came down, he got a face full of balls.

He was so traumatized despite being the one to commit the act.

Food fights can also happen. While Chuuya was peacefully eating his lunch, Dazai threw a tomato slice at him and the fruit made a satisfying splat! on Chuuya’s cheek.

He also tried to throw cheese, but he missed and it landed in the hair of someone who was just walking by. (And somehow did not get in trouble).

For presentations, Chuuya had to do an audio recording, and Dazai just sneezed at the beginning of it, He recorded another but when uploading the audio files, he accidently clicked the sneeze one. Presentation day was funny, but Chuuya didn’t necessarily like it.

If they had online school, Chuuya would be talking to the camera before a ball smack his face. He falls out of frame, and Dazai is just seen running in the background.

There are also interviews or random school news done by the student council. They hate having to work with Dazai and Chuuya together because they always argue. The one time the video went right was when Chuuya had a voice crack.

Rallies also happen, and students would have to cheer as loud as they can for their team. Chuuya and Dazai are the loudest, but they also suffer from voice cracks. After the rally, they lose their voice for about a day.

Rocketry is an elective, and there’s a weird Russian kid named Fyodor. Both the boys don’t really like him. Since he’s associated with rats (Kids call him Rat), they wanted to get a rat plushie. They asked you if you could get them a rat plushie. You decided to buy it for them, not knowing why they actually wanted it.

They taped the plush to the rocket, put more power into it, and they launched it into the air. When it blasted off, they looked at Fyodor with threatening stares.

Occasionally, you and Oda would volunteer to help with some school activities. The first time both of you arrived, so many students had a crush on either of you. They’d go to Chuuya/Dazai and whisper “That’s your parent?”

Oda’s a dilf and you’re also a milf/dilf.

What a happy family you lot are.

[littencloud9]

hi hi hi i am dropping some prompts like a cat leaving a mouse<3

beast kunichuu + "it's okay to grieve"

and

souheki + "what the hell is that"

HII NESS <3 im on mobile rn rip but. have some hurt/comfort (the comfort is vague) and silly fluff

—

Chuuya finds himself at the top of the tallest Port Mafia building, looking over the edge with a disdainful sneer, when Kunikida says, “It’s okay to grieve, you know.”

Chuuya’s first instinct is to yell. The idea that he would care enough to grieve his death, when he was nothing more than an empty, hollow shell of a puppeteer, is insulting. Chuuya has never held an ounce of respect nor trust for him, and his death is, if anything, a blessing.

The floor beneath his feet crack under the pressure. He quickly regains control of his ability, not realising he was exerting gravity again.

“I do not grieve for a man that was nothing,” Chuuya hisses. He turns his back to the edge, leaning backwards. Kunikida doesn’t move to stop him. “I could pull the exact same thing he did right now and no one would care, because it was cowardly and disgusting and—”

“I would care,” Kunikida interrupts. “I think you do too.”

Chuuya thinks, if it was anybody else who said those words, he’d have already punched them into the ground.

Chuuya despises men who act like they can see right through him—understand his thoughts and feelings to his very core and strip him of all his walls. But while he did it to use him like a pawn, Kunikida simply looks right past.

It’s funny. They couldn’t be more different.

Chuuya isn’t grieving, but maybe he’s too empty to feel anything at all. Maybe the void dragged him in and left him an equally hollow shell when it disappeared.

“He was a single-minded stubborn fuck,” Chuuya says. “Nothing I did could have stopped him from achieving his goals. That’s what I hate the most.”

“You like me, though,” Kunikida whispers.

“…I don’t.”

“You do.” Kunikida’s voice doesn’t waver. Not once. He’s always stood his ground and fought for what he wants, never bending his ideals no matter what Chuuya does—

Huh. Maybe he does like Kunikida. Maybe the implications of that make it worse.

He doesn’t feel like confronting that right now. With two large steps forward, Chuuya reaches for Kunikida’s ribbon and drags him into a kiss, emptying his thoughts.

—

“What,” Dazai says, and he cannot emphasise enough, “the hell is that.”

Ranpo pouts, waving the object in his hands. “Are you dumb? Obviously it’s a bouquet of roses.”

“I know what those are!” Dazai snaps. “I mean what the hell are you doing giving it to me?”

“Can’t I spoil my favourite princess?”

The nickname makes Dazai flush red. “That is not— I’m leaving.” They grab their cane, ready to book it out of the office, but Ranpo blocks their path resolutely.

Dazai is going to die if this goes on any longer. They can feel eyes on them already—Kenji is beaming, Yosano is rolling her eyes, and Sigma is giving them the most distasteful look ever.

Plastering on a fake, bright smile that pulls at their cheeks and makes their lips hurt, Dazai graciously accepts the bouquet from Ranpo. “Thank you, my sugar plum! I should go put these in a vase at my dorm! If you’ll excuse me.”

“I’ll come with you,” Ranpo shrugs, hooking their arms together. Dazai stumbles when he starts dragging them, barely keeping up. Kunikida doesn’t bother scolding them for ditching.

When they’re far enough from the office such that no one can hear them anymore, Dazai huffs and looks down at the roses. “You’re so fucking embarrassing.”

“You’re not saying you don’t like it.”

“You probably didn’t even buy these. I bet Kenji-kun grew them for you.”

“He did! Because he knew how precious my beautiful girlfriend is—”

Dazai smashes the bouquet in Ranpo’s face, blushing furiously. “Shut up!”

[anonymousewrites]

There's a Will; There's a Way Christmas Special 2023

Dazai Osamu x Reader

Chuuya Nakahara x OC

Mouse Note: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone! I hope you guys like this little chapter!

            “Merry Christmas!” said (Y/N), opening the door and letting Chuuya and Akira in. “Dinner’s almost ready.”

            “Please tell me the Mackerel isn’t the one cooking,” said Chuuya as he glanced at the kitchen of the apartment in horror.

            “Don’t worry, I made him swear not to poison your food,” said (Y/N), smiling.

            Chuuya huffed gruffly but nodded in thanks. He and (Y/N) had a strange relationship to one another, but they mutually cared about Akira (and (Y/N) kept Dazai from causing Chuuya more trouble than usual), so they liked each other. (Though (Y/N) had insinuated to Chuuya that if he hurt Akira again she would use her gift and all of One Order’s power to destroy him, so Chuuya was a little worried Dazai was rubbing off on her).

            “You’re so thoughtful,” said Akira, hugging (Y/N) and kissing her cheeks. “What would we do without you?”

            (Y/N) smiled. “You all would be alright, I’m sure.”

            “I’m pretty sure Akira would be dead by now,” remarked Chuuya.

            Akira chuckled. “He’s not wrong.”

            (Y/N) sweat-dropped. Unfortunately.

            “Chuuuuuya~” said Dazai, sliding out of the kitchen in fuzzy socks. He had an apron on that said “Kiss the Cook” and a santa hat on his heat. “Merry Christmas!” He lunged to hug Chuuya, and Chuuya used his ability to flip himself into the air and crouch on the ceiling so Dazai missed.

            “Chuuya, get down here and let Dazai hug you. It’s Christmas,” said Akira.

            “No,” said Chuuya. “You just want me to suffer.”

            Akira grinned. “It’s kind of funny.”

            “Come on down, Chuuya!” said Dazai, jumping and trying to reach Chuuya. “Let me give you a Christmas hug!”

            “Dazai,” said (Y/N) with a sigh.

            Dazai pouted. “I want to hug him.”

            “No, you want to throttle him,” said (Y/N), rolling her eyes. “I’m only asking him to come down if you promise to actually be nice.”  She gazed at Dazai intently. “You want me to have a nice Christmas, don’t you.”

            Dazai caved instantly. “Absolutely.”

            “That’s adorable, he listens to you,” said Akira.

            “Well, I don’t,” said Chuuya.

            “What if I asked you to come down?” asked Akira.

            Chuuya deadpanned, and Akira shrugged with a laugh. “Fair enough.”

            (Y/N) smiled and looked up at Chuuya. A green glow appeared around him.

            Chuuya froze. “Wait—”

            He was pulled to the ground by (Y/N)’s gift and landed right in Dazai’s waiting arms. He squawked unceremoniously and tried to pull away, but Dazai hugged him tightly.

            Akira threw her arm around (Y/N)’s shoulders. “You know something?”

            “What?” said (Y/N), watching her and Akira’s boyfriends in amusement.

            “You’re the matriarch of this family,” said Akira.

            “No, I’m just not as crazy as you guys,” said (Y/N), smiling. She leaned her best friend/sister’s shoulder. “But don’t worry. I like you guys this way.”

            Akira smiled.

l

            After dinner (during which Chuuya was not poisoned by Dazai), the group cleaned up and then sat down to exchange gifts.

            “Alright, I’ll go first,” said Akira, holding up a gift. “This is for Dazai.”

            “I get something?” he said in surprise.

            “Yep!” said Akira.

            Dazai eagerly opened the gift and lifted a box full of multicolored bandages out. He started laughing out loud at the joke gift. “Thanks.”

            Akira shrugged with a smirk. “Knew you’d like a laugh.” She tossed another gift to Chuuya. “Here!”

            Chuuya caught it and opened it up. It was a brand-new harness for him in Akira’s signature red. “It’s high-quality,” he said, surprised.

            “I make money,” said Akira, grinning. “And I like spoiling my boyfriend so that he’ll look good.” She winked.

            Chuuya turned red and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”

            “And finally, (Y/N)!” said Akira happily, handing over her final gift.

            “This is going to be her most thoughtful, isn’t it?” murmured Dazai to Chuuya.

            “(Y/N)’s her favorite,” said Chuuya, nodding.

            “Fair enough,” said Daza.

            (Y/N) opened her box and held up a pale green dress. “Oh, it’s beautiful, Akira!”

            “I remembered you liked it,” said Akira, smiling. “And we have a girl’s day coming up with tea and brunch, so why shouldn’t we dress up?”

            (Y/N) grinned. “Exactly!” There was nothing better than dressing up with her best friend and spending the day spoiling themselves (and then fighting over who got to pay for who when since they both wanted to spoil the other).

            Akira leaned over to Dazai as (Y/N) turned to grab her gifts. “You know, that dress would look great with a ring.”

            Dazai blinked in surprise and looked at Akira, but before he could respond, (Y/N) was ready to hand out her presents.

            “Here you go, Akira,” she said.

            Akira opened it and smiled. It was a set of wine glasses with painted designs of dragons and flames. “I love them!” she said.

            (Y/N) smiled. “I hoped you would.” She reached out and handed Chuuya a gift. “And I have something for you, Chuuya.”

            Chuuya was surprised, but he opened it up. It was a photo framed in gold and red with Akira and Chuuya in an actually sweet moment within. He smiled softly. “Thanks.”

            “You’re welcome, Chuuya,” said (Y/N). She turned to Dazai. “And for you.”

            “Thank you, love,” he said, taking his gift and opening it. He smiled softly. He wouldn’t lift it to show everyone, but it was a book with a cover in the same styles of his “ways to commit you-know-what” book. However, the title was “Reasons I love You.” It was sweet, and his hands trembled a little with emotion as he held it. “Thank you, (Y/N),” he said, gazing at her.

            She smiled softly, knowing what he was thinking. “Of course, Dazai.” Then, to save him from having to feel emotionally vulnerable, she looked at Chuuya. “How about you go next?”

            Chuuya nodded. “Alright.” He held out a gift to Dazai. “Here, Mackerel.”

            Dazai pretended to be shocked. “For me?!”

            “Like you didn’t already see I had three gifts,” huffed Chuuya.

            Dazai grinned and just opened his gift. “Is this my old gun?” he said.

            “This is reminder that if you ever make me have to pull that stupid stunt of pretending to shoot you again, I’m actually going to do it,” said Chuuya.

            (Y/N) furrowed her brow in confusion. “What?”

            “He didn’t tell you about Meursalt?” asked Chuuya.

            “No,” said (Y/N). She turned to Dazai, and he coughed in confusion. “You nearly got shot?”

            “In the head,” said Chuuya.

            “I wasn’t actually shot,” said Dazai. Seeing (Y/N)’s worried face, he reached over and squeezed her hand guiltily and looked at Chuuya. “Uh, how about you keep giving out your presents? What about your one for (Y/N)?”

            “I can’t believe I’m saving your ass,” said Chuuya, but he handed over the gift anyways.

            (Y/N) sighed at Dazai before opening her gift from Chuuya. She brightened. “Oh, thank you, Chuuya!” She held up the stack of books Chuuya had gifted her.

            He nodded. “Akira mentioned you’d been looking for them.” And he was trying to make a good impression on Akira’s basically-sister. There wasn’t much family to impress (no way in hell was he telling his boss he was dating his daughter), but (Y/N) meant a lot to Akira (and was a very powerful person in Yokohama) so he wanted to show that he was thoughtful.

            “And this is for you, Akira,” said Chuuya, handing over a box.

            Akira opened it and smiled. “It’s beautiful, Chuuya.” It was a painting of a woman standing in the midst of flames. It was very Akira-esque.

            “I saw it, and it reminded me of you,” said Chuuya.

            “Aw, thanks!” said Akira, turning a bit pink.

            (Y/N) and Dazai exchanged looks. Not many people would be flattered by hearing that they remind someone of arson and rage, but female rage sounded like Akira.

            “I guess it’s my turn,” said Dazai, picking up his three gifts and distributing them.

            Akira opened hers and laughed. She and Dazai had both done joke gifts for one another. Hers was a harness and a hat to match with Chuuya. “I love it!”

            Chuuya grinned at Dazai. “The jokes on you, I’m not embarrassed, I’m going to love seeing her in that.”

            “With probably little else,” whispered Akira to (Y/N), and she laughed.

            Chuuya opened his next and rolled his eyes. “Are these heels?”

            “Because you’re so small,” said Dazai brightly.

            “I think he’ll look great in heels,” said Akira, smiling.

            (Y/N) shook her head and chuckled. For all their playful banter, Akira and Chuuya had a strong relationship that had overcome a lot, and they liked one another. It was cute.

            “(Y/N), love, open yours,” said Dazai.

            “Alright, alright,” chuckled (Y/N). She opened her gift, and her breath caught. “Oh, Dazai, I love it.” It was a painting recreating a photograph taken at the last celebrating the ADA had. It was all of (Y/N)’s friends (and Akira) standing together and smiling and happy.

            “Merry Christmas, love,” he said.

            (Y/N) hugged him tightly, and Dazai smiled, kissed her cheek, and held her back. Akira smiled and rested her head on Chuuya’s shoulder. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

            A Merry Christmas indeed to this little family.

[rainswept]

why do you like chuuya /gen, like I dont mean to sound rude in anyway but why😭🙏

this is going under a read more because i started yapping and couldn’t stop. i’m sorry

his personality. hes so funny and hes such a bitch i love him. but also he’s an incredibly dynamic character. he’s well written and tbh that’s enough for me to like him already. he’s had so much shit thrown at him and very well could have become a horrible person but he’s not. others care about him and he cares about others. he hasn’t let himself become as bitter as he could have been. he is still so full of humanity despite it despite everything SEE NEXT PARAGRAPH

i’m a sucker for characters that are entirely completely human and yet don’t think they are, or struggle with whether they are or not (especially thinking so because of all the reasons that they are— but i suppose chuuya doesn’t really fit that part so i won’t get into that now.) like yes chuuya has (or had, i guess) a reason to believe he isn’t, but does that really matter when faced with the fact that you have emotions and blood just like everyone else? does your make matter when you’re not so different after all? it’s existential. it makes u think. 

his crime list is about as short as he is and i find that wonderful

his lore/past/backstory whatever you want to call it. not even, he’s still going through it. man 😭. he’s had so much loss but not a single goodbye and i think that’s a really fucking good (and depressing) concept. he has never had the chance to mourn properly. he acts like he did.

hes cunty

his dynamic w dazai i find very compelling too. like yes they bicker and yes they fight and yes they “hate” each other (they don’t) but they also trust each other with their lives and have left them in each other’s hands too many times to count. it shows u the depth of both their bond but also the characters individually. they’re not entirely self sufficient.. they can obviously take care of themselves but they’re at their best when working togegher. i thinkt hats cool. FREINDSHIP IS MAGIC!!1! no but it shows u that even the strongest people arent at their best until theyre able to connect. not that dazai and chuuya have a model relationship at all… but there’s trust there. and that’s enough

hes hot

he makes me so viscerally and upsettingly sad

dog motifs. ok hear me OUT i’m SORRY but tbh the title was what got me interested in bsd in the first place. everyone is a stray in this show and i like that very much. i love characters that are LOYAL to a FAULT. i love characters with gnashing teeth and wagging tails. i love characters that hold so tight onto things their hands hurt and they end up causing them to flee. that “everything i’ve ever loved has claw marks on it”??? yeah give me that shit i will eat it up EVERY TIME. i love characters that are blinded by their senses of duty, not in the way that they’d do anything whoever they’re loyal to asks of them (though that is a nice dynamic too, i don’t think that’s as Chuuya ™️ as the other i’m talking about), but in the way that they’d lay down their life without a second thought (or caring about how those people see them). a dog that is beat may bite but but but it will still have its duty. even if it hates it. (<- see also AKUTAGAWA akutagawa is the reigning champion of dog motifery that is probably why i love him so much. but that is akutagawa. and i’m talkign about chuuya so im gonna dhut up now) ) i like characters with Three Betrayals COUGH COUGH COU💥💥💥💥ogh mymgod scafamocuhe 3 betrayals chuuya flags sheep dazai Im HOWLIFJG someone KILL ME NEOW ok thay doesnt make aense i just thought it was funny. anywa

fanbs fanbs* FANGS idc if they’re fake

thanks for comign ti my ted talk 🙏 i may add more later. but i didn’t want to. talk. too much. um. i think that’s out the window though

[herehavesomeheadcanons]

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… Five Golden Bois!

Aaaaa sorry this one's late, I was busy yesterday and didn't have time/inspiration to write it! But it's here now!

Kenji Miyazawa

💛🐄Kenji adores the Christmas season, though it was celebrated differently in his little home town. He's excited to learn all the big city traditions!

💛🐄Kenji loves helping out with the decorating! He helps out with a lot of the heavy lifting, such as carrying big boxes of decorations up and down the stairs. He also asks Kunikida’s advice for where he should put everything. A wise decision, as Kunikida will lose his ever-loving mind if one single decoration is out of place. Dazai likes to mess with him by moving the decorations when he’s not looking, but Kenji snitches on the suicidal maniac like the good little boi he is.

💛🐄He adores Christmas music, and would love to go caroling. He doesn’t know a lot of the newer, pop song carols, but he likes them regardless!

💛🐄His village didn’t have electricity, so Kenji has never seen a Christmas movie before. He’s super excited to cuddle with you and watch them! He definitely enjoys some of the more childish classics. Don’t worry, he’s very gentle. He’ll probably fall asleep during the movie after eating all the snacks!

💛🐄Kenji does know about decorating gingerbread houses. He loves it dearly, but once he’s finished he eats the whole thing. That’s just how they did it in his village, nothing goes to waste. He’ll eat yours too, if you’re not going to! He would love to have a snowball fight with you, just make sure you tell him to be careful. Remember, his ability is super strength. He’s never heard of the mistletoe tradition, so don’t expect him to understand the significance of standing under a poisonous plant.

Finnian

💛💐Finni loves Christmas the most out of the Phantomhive servants. I'm not certain what else you expected from the sweetest cinnamon roll in the show!

💛💐As much as Finni would love to help with the decorating, Sebastian takes care of it. Every time poor Finni has tried to help out, it hasn’t ended well. If you let him help decorate with you he’ll be ecstatic!

💛💐Finni loves Christmas carols, and he’ll sing them as he works. There isn’t much gardening to do in the winter, but he helps carry things around.

💛💐Unfortunately, Christmas movies didn't exist back in Victorian times, so we have to use plays instead. Finnian has never been to one before, but if you take him to one he will thoroughly enjoy it! He’ll probably try to cuddle you during it! Just make sure you tell him to be gentle, remember he doesn’t know his own strength!

💛💐Gingerbread houses with the Phantomhive servants are really something. You’ve got to make them from scratch, for starters. Sebastian probably takes care of it, if we’re being completely honest. Last time he let the servants bake their own gingerbread… well… with Bard’s pyrotechnic obsession, you can probably guess how well that went. Even with Sebastian baking the gingerbread, the kitchen is still a mess by the time you’re finished! Finni gets a little too excited with the sprinkles… Snowball fights are a disaster as well. Actually, everything is a disaster.

Alphonse Elric

💛🐱Al is a lot more into the Christmas spirit than his brother. Being the sweet little bean he is, he loves spending time with people he cares about!

💛🐱Pre-Promised Day, Al was the decorating champion. Being a 7 foot tall suit of armor really makes reaching all those high places a lot easier. Ed probably stood on his shoulders for even more height! Post-Promised Day, he’s still the decorating champion because he’s still taller than Ed! Ed is still going to stand on his shoulders to reach the high places. You’re definitely going to have several heart attacks because of their antics!

💛🐱Al enjoys Christmas music, and can tolerate it a lot more than his brother can. He loves the sweet Christmas carols about love and family and peace on Earth!

💛🐱Again, We’re just assuming that Christmas movies exist in Amestris because it’s funny and I need more content. Al is perfectly happy to snuggle and watch any Christmas movie you choose! His favorite is probably Santa Clause is Coming to Town.

💛🐱Al isn’t nearly as competitive as Ed when it comes to snowball fights. He’s very concerned with not hurting you, or his brother! Ed takes full advantage of this and wins every snowball fight. Al thinks mistletoe is such a cute tradition, and he hangs it every year. He thinks it’s especially cute when Ed and Winry get trapped under it. Al also makes the cutest gingerbread houses ever! But then he gets sad when it’s time to throw them away…

Denki Kaminari

⚡👍WOOHOO!!! IT'S CHRISTMAS!!! Denki is absolutely ecstatic about Christmas every year! He's also just enthusiastic about the 2 week break from class (shhh, he’s a little bit stupid but we still love him-)!

⚡👍Denki thoroughly enjoys decorating the dorms with the rest of class 1-A. He’s not the most artistically talented, so he tends to just follow Iida’s orders. A wise idea, since Iida is ridiculously uptight about the decorations. Seriously, it's a bit of an issue.

⚡👍Denki loves Christmas music, particularly pop songs. All I Want for Christmas is You is a classic for him. He’s also caught up on all the latest Christmas music.

⚡👍Christmas movies!! Hell yeah!! Denki is a cuddly little shit, so he loves movie nights with you! He doesn’t really care which movie you want to watch, he’s just happy to spend time with you!

⚡👍Snowball fights between classes 1-A and 1-B. Need I say more? Bakugo gets way too competitive and goes after Deku most of the time, even if they’re on the same team! Unless Monoma happens to open his big mouth and attract Kacchan’s attention. Then the angry pomeranian will target him. Iiida and Bakugo also keep arguing and trying to direct class A like it’s the middle of a war or something. Everyone is freezing and soaked to the skin by the time you’re ready to quit! Momo makes hot chocolate for everyone from both classes, like the queen she is. Denki loves mistletoe, and will attempt to trap you under it every 5 minutes. Just… go along with it. Just give him the attention he craves.

Naruto Uzumaki

💛🍜Does Christmas exist in Naruto??? We're gonna say that it does because why the heck not. Contrary to what you might think, Naruto Uzumaki doesn't actually like Christmas. Being an orphan who was bullied his whole life, seeing other people be happy with their families upset him greatly. This does get better as he gets older, and when he gets to spend Christmas with you!

💛🍜Naruto loves decorating, but his artistic style is lacking a little bit. He's got spirit, just not talent. You may have to help him out… or just tell him where to put things. Or move them when he's not looking!

💛🍜Naruto used to hate Christmas music, but he's growing to like it the more Christmases he spends with you!

💛🍜I’m honestly not certain if Christmas movies exist in Naruto but if they do, Naruto would love to watch them with you. He craves the cuddles.

💛🍜Gingerbread houses are a disaster (hands up… who’s surprised?). Like the excited child he is, he uses way too much frosting. And sprinkles. His house looks like an overly excited toddler got into the candy bin and frosting. He’s also somehow gotten himself coated in the frosting and sprinkles. Oh dear oh dear snowball fights. This little shit likes to cheat with his shadow clone jutsu, and Kiba gives him shit for it every single time. It’s gotten to the point where snowball fights end up as you and Naruto (and his 100 clones) versus everyone else. You were expecting me to mention mistletoe, weren’t you? Well you’re right. And you are correct in guessing that he is going to come up with ridiculously complex plots to trap you under it.

[minusboy]

3, 4, 7, 8

hello my mortal enemy (affectionate)

3. that encompasses my style

this scene from the goya fic i think<3

The Miura peninsula is beautiful in autumn. The colours are softer this time around, more muted. Other things are different. too, because this time it was Chuuya who suggested it, a whole week before, and this time they’ve got a blanket, and Dazai has watercolors, and the wind ruffles his hair gently where he’s hunched over his sketchbook. Chuuya smokes and watches him, a complicated feeling thrumming in his chest, like a bird flapping its wings. Not for the first time, and certainly not the last, he feels like his ribcage might burst open with the force of it. Here, he thinks about offering his heart, hands soaked with blood. Have it, I insist. Indulgently, romantically, he briefly allows himself to entertain the idea that maybe they were always destined to find one another, like it was written in the stars somewhere. A fate foretold. Patroclus leaving Opus. 

7. that i nursed in a daydream before finally writing

this scene from bleeding heart dove

Four years later finds Dazai in an alleyway, staring down at a barrel of a gun on his knees, smiling as he cradles his right wrist. Any minute now. The man holding the gun seems confident that he’s got him cornered, enough that he’s completely forgetting to check his surroundings. He clearly did not get the memo that there’s a vicious dog currently off the leash. The thought makes him chuckle. ”What’s so funny?” ”You should be careful with that,” Dazai says idly, clicking his tongue, goosebumps rising to his skin as the air vibrates with tension, a change in gravity. And there he is- his delightfully violent guardian angel, ascending on them like such from seemingly out of nowhere, grinning wildly as he kicks the gun out of the man’s hand, the red glow of his ability surrounding him like a halo. He exacts his divine justice while Dazai watches, mesmerised. And finally, Chuuya turns around and smirks at him, flashing sharp canine teeth. He wipes the blood from the corner of his mouth, like a fox after a fresh kill, his gloves discarded now, knuckles raw. “What’d I miss?” he asks, extending a hand for Dazai to take, pulling him on his feet.

8. that i hurt my own feelings to write

again from the goya fic

”Why am I not getting better? I’m doing everything right aren’t I?” he asks. Suddenly, it feels like someone’s dragging a knife in a jagged line across his palm, right on top of the old scar, bleeding all over the delicate white fabric, and the pain makes the edges of his vision go white for a moment. He chokes on his next inhale, digging dull fingernails into the meat of his palm. ”Why don’t I… does it still…” ”Stop,” Dazai commands gently, covering his fingers with his own, making Chuuya flinch. Dazai gently pries the dress from his hands and carefully sets it aside on the table, his movements delicate and quiet, never taking his eyes off him. And suddenly Chuuya hates how he can touch him so easily. Like he isn’t taking him apart and painfully putting him back together every time like some grotesque version of a matryoshka doll.

send me numbers !

[applepi00]

20 questions for fic writers!

Tagged by @chubsthehamster

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

26!

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

139,299!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Bungou Stray Dogs, Haikyuu, and Trigun lately, but if you go back far enough in my fic career you’d find Hetalia, Black Butler, Doctor Who, Soul Eater, and who knows what else I’ve forgotten.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

First Scar, Rough Nights, Last Young Renegade, Wish You Were Here, and Time Enough.

However if we ask instead what my favourites are it would have to be:

All My Love (Bungou Stray Dogs, fem soukoku, boarding school au, soulmate au but a bit to the left)

When the Sun Goes Black (Bungou Stray Dogs, soukoku, canon divergence, the one where Corruption leaves Chuuya blind)

this masterpiece will (tear you apart), (BSD, soukoku, canon divergence, the one where Dazai gets kidnapped and traipses through alternate realities)

Wish You Were Here, (BSD, soukoku, the one that splits from canon after Dead Apple and Chuuya wrestles with Arahabaki in his psyche. Yes I’m aware Arahabaki isn’t canonically sentient or sapient but look I wrote this before we knew that for sure and also it’s a fun concept)

and Where is your heart in all this, Nicholas? (Trigun, Vashwood kinda, the one with attempts at a dom/sub thing, attempts at care taking, and absolutely no attempts at real communication on what anyone actually needs or wants.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, always! I love the community aspect of sharing things online and I absolutely adore when people talk to me about the things I’m already vibrating over.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhhhhh probably Home With You since it’s about a twenty year old dying of a degenerative disease but to be fair most of my work is angsty and picking an angstiest is likely up to interpretation and perspective. (In other words let me know which one you would call my saddest if you have an opinion!)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

See I don’t really do happy endings in much of a traditional sense, but I’m gonna say Perfect Disaster. They get their shit figured out in that one!

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Not any that I recall!

9. Do you write smut?

Not this year I haven’t but generally yes I do!

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope, haven’t touched crossovers in any sense really since I was twelve, they just never really were my jam.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Technically yes. However it was never posted anywhere and I would massively overhaul it if I ever did try to get it out publicly.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I feel like I’m obligated to say soukoku lol, who else has taken up seven years of my life?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Let’s be honest, probably the other two parts of Tell Me Pretty Lies. My sister wants the Kuroo/Akaashi fic but it just was not working when I tried it and it’s been years now since I’ve written haikyuu.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Internal dialogue I think! Thought processes and poetics, I think there’s often nice bits of cadence and rhythm to my work!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot. I very rarely plot out fully and more often than not write without any plan at all, or only a vague outline of one. So anything requiring heavy lining up is often not there as much as I’d like. I’m a very go with the flow sort of person when it comes to the specifics in fics (which is funny because I can control everything in fic, but the only time I plan and plot consistently is in ttrpgs when I have to guess at what my friends will do)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If you do it well it’s a tool, if you do it badly you seem a fool. I use it on occasion, and I use it often in live play roleplaying, but time and place and reason.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think it was Black Butler back on ye old Wattpad but my sister insists it was Inuyasha since my “original fiction” as a kid was heavily ripping off my favourite anime at the time of writing it.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Answered kinda above but honestly I’m really still so fond of When the Sun Goes Black, and All My Love/Nothing Ever Counts. I feel like my prose was just really very good in those!

Tagging: @feralrookie @macavitykitsune @valoniel @doomedblade @blindblossom @nautilusopus and anyone else that wants to

[knockyasocksoff2022]

“Don’t make me get violent.”

(A/N: This came to me so suddenly while I was listening to Violent by carolesdaughter for the first time. It’s kind of rushed and probably out of character and I may edit later but her you all go. Also I intended to make the violence more graphic but I wanted to keep it detahced and I’m not that good at wrting graphic violence yet.)

under the cut due to length (733 words)

Summary: Chuuya’s journey into savagery after Dazai leaves the Mafia. (Kind of an AU I guess)

Chuuya’s Perspective

Everything is going to be different now. They’ll give me some new partner. I’ll get my pick, but I already know none of them will compare, no matter how good they are. None of them will be him. He’s gone, leaving problems in his wake like usual. And I don’t even have the energy to hate him anymore.

Alarms are going off, blazing red but I can’t make myself move. They’ll come and get me if I’m really needed. I just sip my wine and watch the sunset. Red, orange and yellow like the flames that consumed my car as he walked out on me. I guess it’s good because I would’ve gone after him, and he knew it. Not now though, now I can’t imagine even bothering to leave my office for him, I know I would though. I’d still do anything for him, if I thought it would make him come back and I hate it, but I don’t.

Everything moves in slow motion as the door shudders and falls in. 10 men sloppily thrown together black tactical gear. They wear patches with letter E’s spray painted on them. A wannabe terrorist group, I don’t care. I couldn’t bring myself to listen in the last meeting. It doesn’t matter who they were, because they’re here now, and they’re going to die. (It’s bound to end this way, it always does, canvas stained in some shade of red.)

I get up slowly, giving them a chance to run, “Don’t make me get violent.” It comes out as a sigh.

They start shooting. Round after round until the floor is made of spent shell casing. It does nothing as my instincts kick in. For me it happens in slow motion, I watch numbly, as another version of myself charges the naive boys. They’re down before they can fight back.

I watch as I don’t stop.

One of them moves slightly and I kick him back down and keep kicking him, until we’re both stained red and there isn’t a single bone in his body left to break.

I’m not done, they disturbed my only peace and now they’re going to die, every last one of them. It isn’t rage that fills me, just an empty hole, growing larger, leaving nothing, looking to be filled. And these deaths have to be personal, because he left me and these boys “terrorists” are still here, causing me trouble. I want him to be causing me trouble. (But now I’m alone and it’s too peaceful, too quiet, too still, too empty.) I take the nearest and twist his limbs in funny directions until I hear the snaps, and then I keep twisting. Chunks of flesh fall to the ground with wet squelches, splashing the room in red. Spilt wine.

I just want to finish my wine. When they no longer resemble humans I come back to myself. Staring at the wreckage around me. The room is tinted red but I know the mangled lumps won’t disturb me again.

My hands are painted red and sticky and leave smeared fingerprints on the bottle. My reflection is savage against the darkening sky. But I can’t make myself care.

A groan of satisfaction leaves my lips as I sip my wine. I taste the red alcohol, strangely metallic, corrupted by the rusty scent of the room, but it’s not bad. It’s refreshing. And for the first time since he left I can see colour again.

I sit back down, leaning back in my chair, my bloodied feet over the bloodied desk. A fine day in a fine city. I don’t need him, if I can have this, this I can live with. If the way to feel something again is violence then so be it.

And even when they come in to clean it up the shock and horror on their faces, it will all be worth it. I know it will. Are you happy with what you’ve done, Dazai Osamu? I am.

[literatureloverx]

Hello! Inspired from that recent ask somebody said about fyodor "making exceptions" if his S/O was completely opposite to him, I wanted to ask, what does fyodor think about women.. who don't act quite feminine?

You know, those women who are brave and bold, swear and cuss, mentally and physically strong, talk and laugh loudly, have a lot of male friends, go completely crazy while having fun.. I wonder what fyodor thinks about women like them..

I know you said something like he probably wouldn't care or would be annoyed/distant but I wanted to know your specific thoughts about fyodor's take on women like this..

Would he ever date a woman like them?

Oh my, oh my… my dear, I am genuinely trying to stay as objective and realistic as possible in my interpretation of Fyodor’s character. ❤️ But I will try to write the things down that come into my mind.

The problem is... I don’t see it happening from a purely logical perspective.

I've explained thoroughly why I don’t see such a darling fitting for Fyodor, but I don’t want to dwell on the negatives because I don’t want to demoralize anyone. =>HERE

Regarding your request: we have to consider that Fyodor is very, very old. He probably has a very old-fashioned view on relationships and expectations of women.

I don’t see his thoughts on such women as romantic, but rather friendly and neutral. Not negative, because, as I mentioned before, I believe he cherishes genuineness.

I don’t think he’d be against it; he just wouldn’t care much because such a darling wouldn’t possess the key aspects to becoming the object of his desire.

However, on a natural scale, I believe he would enjoy this person’s company sometimes. He would definitely admire a brave woman.

Regarding boldness: boldness about their feelings and emotions? He would find that adorable. I don’t see him caring about the physical strength of a woman at this point.

Now, having male friends is another aspect he wouldn’t appreciate. Don’t get me wrong; he is absolutely confident in himself and his abilities to pull your strings if you dared to try anything funny (but then again, he wouldn’t be with you in the first place).

There we are: this is why the ideal type seems so important to me. He wouldn’t like you spending time with other men just because you’re his. When I say he is possessive, I mean it. He is possessive in a very natural and old-fashioned way.

Now, I still think this type of darling is fitting for many characters, just not Fyodor.

I believe that Nikolai would appreciate such a darling very much, as well as Dazai. Even Chuuya, perhaps? There are many possibilities, and there are many characters who tend to be neutral about the personality of their darling and go with the flow.

The problem is that Fyodor isn’t one of them.

The main reasons are his seemingly never-ending lifetime, his idealistic views on beauty, philosophy, and art, and his dominant personality.

In conclusion, I don’t see him ever dating such a woman, at least in my interpretation of his character. ❤️

However, this shouldn’t discourage anyone from writing about Fyodor with such a darling in the slightest! It is only my interpretation, and Asagiri never clarified Fyodor’s ideal type in detail.

[odzfanfic]

It was that exact moment when the black cars made their appearance, at the sight of it Kyouka couldn’t help but yell an excited “Osamu!” in a chippery voice.

The one called could only voice a “Now you call me ‘Osamu’?” leaving the car entirely and closing the door, standing in front of it with his hands on his pockets.

Kyouka reached his side and jumped over him. Excitement on her every move and a hold even more hard on his clothes left him just as fast.

The girl, alongside an abnormal velocity, went over the men in black and commanded her ability. “Huh?” with a quick shift, her knife had already made it’s way on two of the uniformed men’s throat. Yasha took care of the four left in a elegant and swift motion, almost imperceptible. “You told your men to attack if I ever got closer?”

Dazai made no sound, and she thought he was almost delighted with her displeasure.

“Answer.”

He stared at her carefully. “Do I need to remind you who’s the boss? You shouldn’t be talking so mighty when you are no way near an executive.”

“……!”

“Now, answer me…” he said and let a sigh drop. “What are you doing here? What are you doing here with that boy? …Why are you here?”

“It looked interesting...” she shrugged, “Maybe even funny... He’s not bad and offered to show me around.” she looked at his side, then to the floor and then her view was a blur and the floor didn’t look like floor but just a big color spot.

“You know I never seen this park before? I thought it would be good to take a look after such a long time without—”

“……What are you saying?” Dazai approached her in a slow, composed manner. As if she was going to run away if he wasn’t wary enough.

He signaled his men to not break fire. “What are you saying?” his tone was low; his eyes were off and his head was slightly tilted.

“………………………”

“Answer me when I’m speak to you.” he was mad. He was so mad she forgot how to move, none of her muscles responding any of her orders.

“I thought it would be funny. I was curious, that’s all.” she wasn’t looking at him, and wouldn’t look at him. She felt how his gaze pierced blades on every inch of her body without effort.

“You were curious?… You were curious, no?”

The next thing he did was something she couldn’t have predicted. He placed his hand on her neck and drew her closer, just enough so he could pull her head up by her chin.

Looking into his eyes she found him worrying, but his words were like acid rain, and the truth she wasn’t able to escape from no matter what she do. “Kyouka, the only thing you’re useful for is killing. Every inch of you was with the sole purpose of being a killer, a hit-man, a killing machine. Not thoughts and the first thing you did was to slaugther my men.” she felt Demon Snow disssapearing and felt defenseless.

“You are aggresive and impulsive; you don’t think and act by your instinct, one that threatens the rest because you place yourself above everyone else. You can’t stand the idea of being eliminated.” Dazai let his hand wander around the one of the pigtails Atsushi brushed. “You can’t stand the idea of being discarted,” slowly, the flower-tie was removed. “Such hope isn’t fitting for someone like you, and you know it way better than me.”

“Kyouka!” it seemed like the sedative didn’t work as expected as Atsushi managed to yell at the little girl.

En el momento en que los autos y camionetas negras se hicieron presentes, Kyouka no pudo evitar gritar “¡Osamu!”, de forma alegre, dirigiéndose hacia ellos.

El hombre apenas llamado hizo presencia en la escena. “¿Ahora me llamas Osamu?” Dazai salió completamente del auto y cerró la puerta, quedando parado frente a la puerta del vehículo con las manos en los bolsillos de su pantalón. Kyouka llegó a su lado, saltando sobre él y abrazándolo energética y fuertemente.

De todas formas; con un tiempo de reacción increíble, Kyouka liberó del abrazo a su jefe y saltó por sobre la cabeza de los agentes que se acercaban a ellos, listos para atacar.

“¿Umh?” Con un semblante serio, Kyouka, comandando a Yasha, acabó con dos de los seis hombres armados en un rápido movimiento dirigido a sus gargantas. Yasha tomó represalias contra los cuatro restantes en un fino; afilado; elegante y casi imperceptible movimiento de su larga kanata. “¿Le ordenaste a tus subordinados atacarme si me acercaba a ti?”

“............”

“Responde.”

Dazai la miró peligrosamente. “¿Y si no quiero?, ¿o tengo qué recordarte quién es el jefe? No deberías hablar con tanta libertad cuando ni siquieras eres un ejecutivo...”

“¡...!”

“Responde...” Dazai soltó un pesado suspiro, como si estuviera cansado, como si no quisiera hacer eso, como si fuera un trabajo tan simple, tan predecible- que le aburría.

“¿Qué haces aquí?, ¿qué estás haciendo, aquí, con ese chico?, ¿...por qué estas aquí?”

“Por qué se veía interesante...” Kyouka se encogió de hombros. “Algo divertido tal vez... Él no es malo, y se ofreció a mostrarme el lugar.” Se encogió de hombros por una segunda vez y miró a su lado, y luego al suelo, con una expresión perdida.

“¿Sabes que nunca antes había visto esta plaza?, me dió curiosidad. Pensé que estaría bien salir alguna ve de la mafia... aunque fuera por un momento.”

“........¿Qué estas diciendo?” Dazai se acercó a ella a paso lento, con cuidado, con delicadeza. Como si fuera a espantarla si no era precavido. “¿Qué estás diciendo...?”

Dazai dió una seña a sus hombres para que no abrieran un fuego indeseado.

“...................”

“Respóndeme cuándo te hablo.” Dazai dió énfasis en cada una de sus palabras dichas.

“Pensé que sería divertido. Estaba curiosa, eso es todo.”

“¿Estabas curiosa, no?

“Kyouka, para lo único que sirves- para lo único que tienes un talento real; es para matar. ¿Quién eres si no lo haces?, nadie. Mira lo que hiciste con mis pobres subordinados apenas atentaron levemente contra tu integridad física... los mataste, eso fue lo que hiciste. Eres agresiva e impulsiva; no piensas, haces las cosas por instinto, y ese instinto mortal, atenta contra la vida del resto de personas porqué pone tu supervivencia por sobre la del resto. No soportas la idea de ser eliminada... ¿o debería decir... desechada?”

[temporaryrose200]

✩Chuuya Going Out With Dazai’s Little Sister✩

✟pairing: Chuuya X Reader

✟genre: Fluff, Slight Angst

✟warning: None

✟headcanon

✟fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

✟a/n:This meant to be put on my old account @temporaryrose100, but it had been shadow banned. So I’ve made a new account:)

➳So you’re like a year younger than your brother, so when you first met the hot head ginger you were pretty young. You were Dazai’s “sweet” little sister. In his eyes, you could do no wrong. Or really, he didn’t care. If I’m being honest, I don’t think Dazai would much care for you. Not in that way. This guy adores you! But what I’m talking about is that he doesn’t care what you do, knowing you can take care of yourself on your own. That is until Chuuya came into the picture.

➳At the start Dazai just didn’t want you talking to Chuuya because he didn’t want his “precious” sister to have a “bad” influence like him in her life. But when the two of you started to get along, Dazai hated it! He knew Chuuya liked you. He could tell from the way he talk to you and he knew you like the mutt as well…Your brother tried distancing the both of you but it never worked.

➳Now at the start of the first meeting with Chuuya, he actually didn’t like you. Thinking you were just like your older brother. But oh, how he was wrong. You were quite the opposite. A kind and caring person, actually funny, unlike you brother…(In Chuuya's mind you were.) Smart and the list goes on. You didn’t much show your sweet side and Chuuya wasn’t that shocking. You were in the mafia, showing your emotions is something you should never do. You would be seen as weak. It isn’t until a couple of months later when Chuuya and you start dating and oh how Dazai was pissed. Not only did he have to work with Chuuya, but now he had to share his sister with him.

➳Dazai would do anything to make sure no alone time together. You two could be doing anything and your brother would be there. On a date? Oh hey, here comes Dazai, who is conveniently at the same restaurant you and Chuuya were in. You’re staying at Chuuya’s. Dazai just shows up unannounced. Whenever your brother does this it always ends up in a fight. Not with you and him, but with your red-headed boyfriend. Yes, you were obviously annoyed by your brother doing this, but for so strange feelings, kind of relieved. It meant that he cared for you and even though you knew he loved you, he rarely showed it.

➳The day Odasaku died and Dazai left the port mafia was one of the worst days of your life. You were filled with so much anger and grief. You were also close with Oda. It had only been you and your brother for the longest time, so when this man popped into both of your lives you were wary at first but after some time, just like Dazai, you grew to love the man like family. So hearing that he had died really was hard to take in. But what's worse is finding out that your only family member had left you. Not even with a goodbye or even a note. He left and it hurt a lot. When Chuuya found this out, at first he was kind of glad. The bane of his existence was now gone. Pop open the champagne! But when he released how much it affected you, his hatred for the man grew, if that was even possible. The one and only thing that Chuuya respected Dazai, was he was always there for you. That was the only likeable trait that your brother had. It has been a couple of hours since the whole thing that Mori called you into his office to receive your new promotion. Your brother's old job…

[tklpilled]

but it sounds just like falling in love

dazai wakes up with someone else’s legs wrapped around his own, a head resting under his chin and his hand tangled in hair that isn’t his.

he sighs quietly in contentment. he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to waking up like this.

(a part of him doesn’t want to get used to it. it’s only been a week or so, but it always fills him with butterflies and makes him feel giddy like a child. he’d have no complaints if that never changed.)

chuuya is warm, a comforting weight against him. he’d like to stay here, held in his partner’s arms, forever. 

he doesn’t know how okay they are. he doesn’t know how much of their past they’re both willing to ignore. he doesn’t really care. he’d do anything to keep holding chuuya like this.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers, not wanting to wake chuuya but needing to let him know. “i won’t leave you again.”

chuuya stirs. “idiot,” he mumbles, barely audible from the way his face is pressed into dazai’s chest. “like i’m gonna let you go.”

dazai smiles. “well, good morning.”

chuuya pulls away to rub at his eyes. “‘s too early,” he groans. he blinks up at dazai, and their eyes meet. chuuya’s eyes are the prettiest shade of blue, in dazai’s opinion. they remind him of the sky. he remembers saying that out loud once, and he remembers chuuya’s bright red face and being told to shut up if he valued his life—he didn’t, but he shut up anyway.

“the hell are you staring at?” comes chuuya’s voice, and dazai is snapped back into reality only to realise he has, indeed, been staring.

can you blame him, though? he could gaze at chuuya for hours and not get tired.

he voices his thoughts, making chuuya duck his head so dazai can’t see his face. “fuck off!”

dazai laughs. it’s weird, how he’s always shown his love through quiet and subtle ways, and now he just wants to scream to the world that he adores chuuya and wants to be with him forever.

(the other day, on a mission, kunikida had asked if he was going to bombard the woman with talk of double suicide. for once, dazai hesitated.

the answer was no.)

“i love you,” he murmurs. chuuya shoves his head further into dazai’s chest.

“love you too, asshole.”

in the years they went without seeing each other, dazai figured his feelings had faded. even if they hadn’t, he decided there was no need to bother thinking about it, because chuuya probably hated his guts anyway.

they saw each other again. 

the feelings hadn’t gone away.

he only realised that they were there in the first place when he was sixteen, when he finally understood oda’s knowing glances at the two of them. he and chuuya always argued, even back then, but there were times when they could manage to get along. dazai had made some stupid joke, it wasn’t even funny, but it had startled a genuine laugh out of chuuya and it had made dazai’s heart skip a beat in a way that it never did with anyone else.

a lot of things started to make sense.

from that day forward, it became dazai’s goal to make him laugh as often as he could, and every time sounded just as lovely as the first. he had multiple ways he went about it, because his horrible jokes only made chuuya roll his eyes and punch his arm most of the time. he remembers his favourite way, which was—

“hey, chuuya,” he says, getting an idea. “are you still ticklish?”

“no,” chuuya answers immediately, too fast for it to be the truth. he must realise his mistake, because he quickly follows it up with, “don’t you dare.”

dazai knew the answer before he even asked. he was always the least ticklish out of the two of them, and if he hasn’t grown out of it then chuuya definitely hasn’t.

he pushes chuuya over so that he’s on his back and can’t hide in dazai’s shirt anymore. he grabs chuuya’s wrists in his hand, holding them over his head. chuuya is smiling nervously before dazai even does anything, and a stream of giggles spills out as soon as dazai begins tickling at his sides.

“i think you got even more ticklish!” he coos, leaning down to pepper kisses across chuuya’s neck.

chuuya turns his head the other way in a futile attempt to make it stop. “shuhuhut uhup!”

dazai notices the way chuuya squirms when his fingers get too close to his stomach. of course, he has to explore that more. chuuya squeals, tugging at his arms to no avail while dazai moves his shirt to get at his bare skin. 

dazai knows he’s staring again, but he can’t help it. chuuya’s face is split in half from his wide grin, his shoulders shaking and his cheeks red from his laughter. his messy hair is even worse than usual, especially because it’s not held back in a ponytail. chuuya is adorable, and he’s beautiful, and dazai’s heart swells in his chest.

“dahahazahai!” even though it’s being forced out of him, chuuya’s laugh is dazai’s favourite sound. he releases both hands and leans down to give him a kiss, but with how much chuuya is smiling and squirming, it doesn’t last very long at all. he doesn’t care.

chuuya’s blush is even brighter. “fuhuck yohohou! yohou shitty bahahastard!”

“fuck me yourself.” dazai sighs. “you’re being so mean, chibi. what did i ever do?”

“t-tihickle me!”

dazai can’t help the grin that forms immediately. “of course i will!”

chuuya hisses in sudden realisation of what he said. “thahat’s nohohot whahat i meheant!”

his hands are shoving at dazai’s wrists, so dazai complies to his request and moves his hands down to his hips. he can hear chuuya’s sharp inhale at just his hands resting on the bones. he almost decides against it, knowing how bad that spot is. 

actually, that’s a lie. he doesn’t feel bad at all, and chuuya’s cackles when he finally digs in just make him want to do it more.

“c-cuhut it ohohout!” chuuya pleads, weakly trying to swat dazai away. “i cahahan’t!”

“sure you can!” says dazai, but he doesn’t go for much longer. chuuya is tired, he doesn’t have enough strength to last as long as he normally would.

oh well. he’ll just have to continue later.

he gazes down at chuuya, hiccupping in between soft laughter. dazai pulls him into a strong embrace, burying his face in his neck.

“cute,” he hums against the skin, making chuuya burst into a new fit of giggles. 

“i’ll kihill you.”

dazai’s only response is to kiss all over his neck and shoulder, not stopping no matter how much chuuya squirms. 

he thinks he could be happy with this life.

[selfisharchipelago]

[ 2:48 AM ] - CHUUYA NAKAHARA

❣︎ warnings: slight toxic behavior, flinching, yelling, crying.

❣︎ summary: chuuya had a rough day, he doesn’t have time to deal with you.

❣︎ genre: angst to fluff

❣︎ a/n: felt sad so i wrote this. kinda trashy ngl.

Chuuya rubbed his face, dragging his feet to the front door. He sighed in exhaustion. He had to use corruption, completely draining him of energy. To add to his distress, he saw his ex-partner Osamu Dazai. Or as he would call him, the suicidal maniac. All he wanted to do is go to sleep, you at this point were most likely asleep, it was very late after all.

Even the thought of you couldn’t make him smile. He opened the door, expecting to see a dark living room. What he saw instead was you sitting on the couch, looking almost impatient. Chuuya took off his hat, putting it on the coat rack next to the door. “Chuuya where were you,” he heard you say. Your voice would normally make him smile, but instead, it made him roll his eyes.

He already had to deal with enough today, he didn’t want you to get in his way. Instead of turning to you and kissing you, he grumbled and walked off. You of course were thrown off by his behavior. You figured he had a bad day, but so had you. Not only were you half an hour late for your job, but you were also humiliated by your boss in a meeting.

“Chuuya what’s wrong,” you said, putting away your bad day, in order to hear his. He didn’t respond, only sitting on the couch and cracking his neck. “I asked you something,” you said sitting down next to him. “Would you stop bitching for one second,” he suddenly said, making your eyes widen. “What did you say,” you asked in disbelief.

“You heard me, just go away,” he said in a low voice. You scoffed and stood up in front of him. Half-lidded eyes stared back at you. “I’m trying to help you, I have been waiting for you to come home for hours,” you said frustration from your bad day building up. “Unlike you, I actually have a job,” he fired back. “I work too! Just because I don’t work for the port mafia doesn’t mean I don’t earn money,” your voice starting rising.

“That’s funny when I’m actually making money here,” at this point he was yelling. “Do you know how hard I’m working?! I’m doing overtime, how dare you disrespect me when you know I’ve been working more than nine hours a day!” Your voice boomed with anger. “If you can take care of yourself, then why don’t you fucking leave, you think I need you?!” He stood up abruptly, making you flinch in fear.

He stared back in shock. He didn’t mean it. It was a spurt of words that should have never come out of his mouth. Worse, he didn’t mean to make you flinch in fear of him. You felt your eyes water with tears, but you wouldn’t cry in front of him. So instead you just crossed your forearms around your face, in case his hand tried to impact your face.

When no impact came, you slightly looked up at him. “Y-Y/N,” he stuttered out with regret lacing his words. As he was about to pull you into a hug, you backed up and dodged him, going to your bedroom instead. Chuuya stood there starstruck. Though you two had fought before like every couple, it never got to this extreme. So instead of going to the room, he sat down on the couch and waited patiently, reflecting on his actions.

You on the other hand felt tears running down your face, sobbing quietly into your hand. How had it gotten to his point? You laid down on the bed, pulling the covers over yourself in hopes to dream this nightmare away. Instead, you were met by Chuuya’s scent. Forcing that aside, you closed your eyes, still shaking with sobs. Soon enough, tiredness took over your body.

Suddenly you opened your eyes, feeling a thumping in your head. Amazing, you had a headache. You looked at the clock on your nightstand, 2:48 am. Two hours after you fell asleep. You always kept headache relievers in the kitchen. You groaned, realizing you’d have to get up. Hesitantly you got up slowly, not wanting to add more stress to your aching head.

As you opened the door, you noticed all the lights were turned off, in contrast to two hours ago. Assuming Chuuya was asleep on the couch, you crept into the kitchen, turning on the light. Even though you were beyond mad with him, his job was tiring and you knew he needed to sleep. Grabbing a cup, you started filling it up with water.

As it was a quarter way filled, you felt arms wrap around your midsection. You slightly jumped in shock and surprise. “It's just me,” Chuuya said with sadness in his voice. Before you could say anything, he spoke first. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to act that way and I know it’s absurd, I was having a bad day and I know that isn’t a valid excuse, but it’s the truth.

I know I’m sometimes a shitty boyfriend, but I’m sorry,” he said sticking his head into your neck after his apology. You thought about it for a few seconds. “Okay,” you simply said. He smiled and tightened his arms around you. “But don’t act like that again,” you said. “That's a deal, I promise to never mistreat you again,” he said.

You nodded “I promise to not interrogate you when you come home late,” you said in return. “I love you,” Chuuya whispered. “I love you too,” you responded, your headache was now forgotten about. You stayed in Chuuya’s arms, as he slightly rocked you side by side in a comforting manner. Chuuya would never never repeat his mistreating actions again.

[starglow-xx]

(About the brother!atsushi) aRE YOU READING MY MIND MISS?! Because that has been on my mind for MONTHS. TYSM For writing it was amazing!! If you don't mind, may I request (if requests are open) atsushi, still an older brother, but with a sister that's 10-13 yrs old? It's totally fine if you don't wanna do it. Keep up the good stories, ily mwuah!

*sobs* you’re so kind thank youu 🤧🤧

i wrote this a bit differently i hope that’s okay anon! at first i planned for this to be mainly abt atsushi and the reader, but i decided to add in relationship hcs with the agency bc i ran out of ideas

if you guys liked this don’t worry! im planning a special part two for this one so be the look out for it hehe

atsushi with a tween! sister

ft. the armed detective agency

like in my baby sister hcs, you’re still the most important thing to him period

the two of you got picked up by dazai and kunikida when he was 18 (obviously) and when you were 12

for a 12 year old, you were a bit small bc of malnourishment (which makes atsushi feel so bad) so both dazai and kunikida thought you were a bit younger than you actually were

they assumed you were about 9-10ish

you and atsushi both share a favorite food !! chazuke :)

so when kunikida treated the two of you, he made sure you got more bowls bc like i mentioned above, he feels really bad that you were malnourished and under weight

(don’t bring this up but kunikida felt bad too hehe)

when dazai went with your brother to the warehouse, you were with kunikida

imagine the surprise of the other ada members when kunikida came in with a little girl dressed in rags that popped out from behind him

kenji was the one who vocalized his thoughts 

“kunikida-san you have a daughter?! wow! i didn’t know that! :D”

when you found out your brother was a tiger, you were a bit concerned but you were actually kind of excited

you were even more excited when you found out the two of you were going to be taken in by the agency

anything was better than the stupid orphanage

and besides!

you got a tiger for an older brother and a bunch of other super powered agents to take care of you! who could want anything else?

at your age, you’re very impressionable and can be influenced easily so atsushi makes sure to teach you more in depth of good morals and the importance of kindness

his heart swells with pride and relief when he catches you being kind to others

pride bc he’s proud that even after all the two of you have gone through, you still ended up being a good kid and having a bright view of the world

and relief bc he hasn’t failed as a big brother

pfftt like he could ever fail

but please, from time to time reassure him that he’s perfect and the only big brother that you’d ever want bc he rlly needs that kind of validation

with his salary and savings, he tries to buy nice things for you

what a sweetheart 🥺

he saw you eyeing that one dress at a store window? fast forward abt a week and half and it’s inside a pretty gift bag for you

you wanted to try that dessert from the nice bakery? that’s dessert after dinner at one point

but other than buying you things, he sets money aside for you

like all the time

(y/n), here have this, you might need it”

“but nii-san you just gave me—”

“take it”

#1 spoiler

also your #1 confidant and source of physical affection

you tell him anything and everything (except crushies and those kinds of things)

atsushi loves it when you talk abt your day and he can see the big smile on your face and the sparkle in your eyes

it gives him the strength to keep going 😖😖

the two of you aren’t as touch starved as you’d probably think, but that’s only bc the two of you had each other

in your opinion, no one can match the hugs of your big brother

and it got even better bc YAYY he has tiger arms now ٩(◕‿◕)۶

if you ask, he’d carry you around too hehe

you also get nightmares quite often so he’ll always be there ready to calm you down, talk if you need to, and rock you back to sleep

god i love him 🤧🤧

atsushi will do everything in his power to protect you and make sure you get to grow up happy, supported, and loved

port mafia attack? oop he’s already taking you to the nearest escape route

someone is starting to harass you? they just got suckered punched into the next week

you want to go out to have some fun? he’ll go ask the president for a day off

you’re not feeling well? he’ll take another day off and take care of you

whatever you want to do, he’ll do it with you! (as long as it’s within reason)

will always be your #1 supporter! and he’s the president of your fan club hehe

he loves you so so much and will do anything for you; your life and happiness will always be more important to him

you are his reason to keep going

agency head canons !!

atsushi is your big brother, but kunikida is most definitely some sort of father figure

everyone can see it

except kunikida of course

kunikida scolds you lightly if he thinks your manners need work or if you make a mess in the agency

you listen to him of course and in turn as some sort of a reward, he’ll give you pieces of stationary

he always gives you the nice, good quality kind and you’re over the moon

atsushi adores it when you come running to him showing your new notebook or fountain pen and blabbering what you’re going to do with it

sometimes it isn’t even as a reward for being a good child; he’ll just give it to you and he’ll say smth like “i noticed you’ve used up your last notebook quite quickly, so here’s another one” or “did you run out of ink? here have this then”

he usually has a soft spot for children in general, but he most definitely has a soft spot (or a thousand) for you

yosano is kind of like a motherly figure to you

she gives you the guidance a mother should and goes on shopping trips with you!

atsushi always gets dragged along by you, but he thinks it’s worth it seeing you look so happy

yosano being a doctor also tries to teach the things you should know, or things that would be helpful to you

she’ll teach you the basics of cooking, sewing, how to treat a cold/fever, etc

also gives you excellent advice 1000% of the time

“remember (y/n)-chan if someone hurts you come tell me and then i’ll chop them into—”

“yOSANO-SENSEI DONT TELL HER THAT—”

fukuzawa is like a father to most in the agency but you see him more as a grandfather figure

bi weekly tea and gossip sessions hehe

along with cat talk!

most of the time though, it’s just you talking and him listening to you, but the two of you enjoy it nonetheless

“and then kunikida-san ended up crashing into a pole and dazai-san started to laugh at him and i did too because it was really funny but we ended up getting scolded—”

“hmm i see...”

he’ll let you stay in his office as he fills out paperwork; you’re usually doodling or drawing in your notebooks

sometimes he’ll meditate and you’ll join him, but 4/7 times you’d fall asleep

you always wake up with a blanket over you

dazai is like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

frequently takes you out with him when he ditches work

walks in the park, eating at uzumaki so he has the excuse of treating you so he doesn’t have to pay his tab avoiding kunikida and sometimes chuuya and akutagawa, all that fun stuff

also tries to not talk abt suicide in front of you especially if it’s just the two of you alone

he knows that you mean the world to his pupil and that said pupil would probably hate him for putting suicide inside your brain

he teaches you random but useful things like how to pick a lock, how to steal kunikida’s notebook if you’re looking for some information, how to sweet talk your way out of things, etc.

is also the one to tell you that if you ever get a significant other to introduce them to the agency first

he always wants all of your gossip; some of them work pretty well for blackmail

“dazai-san! dazai-san! did you know that kunikida-san lost his glasses and he was looking for them for nearly an hour when he was just holding them the entire time??”

“woah really (y/n)-chan?! hey hey can you say it again into this recording device so kunikida-kun would believe me when i tell him—”

always ends up giving kunikida a heart attack when he says that you’ve been with him all day

ranpo is also like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

will share some of his snacks, but don’t push it or you might not get anything at all

loves it when you compliment him

if you tagged along with him and your brother on a case, he will show off to impress you

“...and that’s how the crime happened”

“UWAHH RANPO-SAN YOU’RE SO COOL”

atsushi is lowkey and kunikida is highkey stressed that ranpo’s eating habits will rub off on you

“ne (y/n)-chan do you wanna try this highly caffeinated drink and this concerning amount of sugar filled snack?”

“can i really?!”

“rANPO-SAN NO—”

ranpo definitely does stuff like that on purpose 

the tanizakis are like siblings to you!

a weird set of siblings but siblings nonetheless

the two of them adore you and think you’re precious

atsushi definitely knows how to do your hair whether it’s long or short but he got even better at it when he asked the two

hehe braid trains are definitely a thing + kyouka and kenji (and maybe even dazai)

sometimes you have sibling swap days

you’re with junichiro for most of the day and atsushi is with naomi

strange i know

each of the tanizaki siblings try to make it fun bc they know that the two of you did not at all have a happy upbringing

junichiro likes spending time with you by taking you out to different places that naomi likes to frequent

like the mall, different stores and restaurants, the park, places like those

naomi does the same thing with atsushi so if you ever bump into them, you go out and eat together :)

besides atsushi, the next one in line who spoils you the most would be junichiro (and yosano & kunikida both coming in at a close third)

he honestly can’t help it; you remind him of how naomi was when she was younger

and besides

he’s always been a sucker when it came to the happiness of a little sister

“would you really buy this for me junichiro-san?!”

“of course! don’t worry about it” :)

wanna talk abt boys/girls/celebrity crushes things like that? naomi is your girl

you feel a bit embarrassed to go talking to yosano or your brother abt that and kyouka does not know a thing abt them either

“uwahh naomi-san look at all these people in this magazine! they look so good!”

“right?! but of course onii-sama is still the best—”

you get along with kenji and kyouka quite nicely being roughly the same age as them; they’re also like siblings!

just pure, wholesome vibes from the three of you

you’re over the moon when she finds out that kyouka is staying with you and your brother

atsushi is twice as happy seeing you talk your mouth off and finally having a girl around your age to talk to

“do you think demon snow can change how she looks?”

“hmm... im not sure...”

you and kenji talk abt anything and everything

he even teaches you how to take care of plants!

sometimes the two of you are kind of in the same boat bc you don’t know much abt yokohoma being stuck in the orphanage and kenji doesn’t know much abt cities in general

“wait where are we again kenji-san?”

“ah we’re close to the ports! but im not really sure how close because i don’t know what the symbols on this sign mean”

“don’t worry! neither do i!”

bonus things!

yosano was kind of too late teaching you abt you know what

“NII-SAN IM BLEEDING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS”

you’re sobbing in the agency’s bathroom and atsushi is panicking trying to get you to open the door

“Y/N?! H-HOLD ON LET ME GET YOSANO SENSEI”

ranpo overhears and cackles making everyone around him confused

suddenly atsushi bursts in the agency basically on the verge of tears rambling incoherent sentences abt the bathroom, you, and blood

it just clicked for everybody in the room

(im going to pretend that kenji has sisters back home so that atsushi is the only one who remain oblivious here hehe)

atsushi is genuinely confused and sort of concerned that no one is freaking out with him

yosano waves her hand saying smth like that she’d take care of it and junichiro pulls atsushi to the side to talk to him

fast forward like half and hour and dazai and ranpo are cackling on the looks of both of your faces

honestly not sure who’s more traumatized, you or your brother

“why does this have to happen” :(

“ne ne (y/n)-chan!~ you’re too young but at some point you’re not going to have it!”

“uwahh really dazai-san?” :D

“yeah! but first you have to have ANFK—”

next thing you know your ears are being covered by your brother and dazai is thrown across the room by kunikida

you know

the normal

you’re twelve and have never gone to school, but the agency takes care of that

it’s too dangerous to go to school so they teach you what’s necessary and whatever else they can

kunikida takes care of math (obviously)

yosano takes care of science/biology/anatomy/health (whatever you wanna call it)

ranpo even dragged poe to help you with english

atsushi even got lucy to help you out with english too!

as tanizaki and naomi used to be students, they give you their old work books and they try to teach you all the other subjects

sometimes kyouka and kenji are there learing with you too!

sorry if there’s some errors! i’ll read through it again later :)

and as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason