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[dykesprentiss]

rating the entities based on how hot i find them, personally

The Beholding 7/10

the unending thirst for knowledge and general domineering aura are both attractive qualities, but it loses a few points for being passive and unhelpful literally all the time. the nerdiest of the entities, it has probably been shoved into a cosmic locker by the desolation. i am incredibly easy for eye symbolism, however. gains and loses points for elias. sexiest statement: observer effect

The End 6/10

you know what's good in a relationship? reliability. no matter What happens you can always trust that death will be there. it knows that it's better than all the other entities but doesn't flaunt it. I am a mighty big fan of the dream tendrils and the skin book, but other than that it doesn’t usually manifest in especially weird or grotesque ways, costing some points. sexiest statement: dreamer

The Desolation 2/10

i'm not personally into complete and utter destruction, but i will give points for cults, burning, and wax lesbians. sexiest statement: twice as bright

The Corruption 5/10

i think about worms every single day of my life...miss jane prentiss and her slightly gross rambling nonsense captivated and thrilled me beyond any other episode. disease? not that sexy but bugs?? Bugs??? Oh baby….oh honey… sexiest statement: the hive

The Dark 8/10

sitting in darkness or outside at night is always such an intense, primal feeling. deep, mysterious, and terrifyingly comforting. a name like mr. pitch doesn’t strike fear but it sure does strike something else! you want some quality time? just turn the lights off! "the blanket never did anything." shook me in such a profound way that it gets bonus points just for that. sexiest statement: the end of the tunnel

The Hunt 6/10

oh no...a big scary monster is chasing me….i hope i don’t get caught ;) . sexiest statement: first hunt

The Lonely 7/10

while this score could easily just be for peters bastard energy, there is a quiet intimacy in being alone. No one will ever know you as well as you know yourself, so revel in your own company! A big empty world with just you in it is rife with possibility, and those sweet, foggy vibes. loses points because i’m worried about martin :( sexiest statement: lost in the crowd

The Spiral 12/10

Confusing! Would drive you to utter insanity at a single glance! Spindly as Fuck! any time there's any sort of description of the distortion my heart flutters and my breath catches. bonus point for sharp yaoi hands, a gratingly sensual voice, twisting corridor dates, and helen 😍. really brings out the inherent eroticism of eldritch horrors. sexiest statement: fatigue

The Flesh 6/10

major points for weird body horror, but animals being scared makes me sad. sexiest statement: body builder

The Vast 10/10

incomprehensibly infinite, the vast is akin to an embrace from the universe that never ends. an absolute Unit. just So fucking big. the complicated mix of awe and terror that happens when you look at the sky for too long or when you swim in open water is unparalleled. I can't even find words to describe how deeply beautiful it is. sexiest statement: high pressure

The Buried 9/10

if the vast is a hug from the universe, the buried is a hug from miss mother earth herself! coziness taken to the extreme! i’m big fan of dirt, and being In dirt, not to mention caves, tunnels, holes, and the sexier, more elusive caverns and crevices. choking isn’t everyone’s thing, but it’s enough to snag a few extra points. buried related terms are Very satisfying so lets throw a few more in there. chamber. abyss. ravine. chasm. hot stuff! sexiest statement: lost johns’ cave

The Web 5/10

i’m genuinely actually afraid of spiders but i Do respect them and acknowledge their intrinsic hotness, if only from afar. always skittering around in the background, the web hits the same domineering tone of the eye in much more direct and mysterious fashion. gains points for puppetry and bondage but loses points because im! worried! about martin! sexiest statement: a guest for mr spider

The Slaughter 3/10

excessive violence is not particularly enticing, but violence interwoven with lilting, melodious music gets points. there is aesthetic value to blood and gore, but the slaughter is about the act of violence, not the results. sexiest statement: grifter’s bone

The Stranger 15/10

oh Baby!!! we’ve got dolls! we’ve got circus motifs!! we’ve got a vague and unsettling sense of wrongness that we can’t quite pinpoint!!! looping calliophone music sets the mood as the alluring dreadfulness of the uncanny valley takes over. I could listen to nikola’s off kilter cadence all day long. bonus points for the not-them, mannequins, and because i’m lesbian. sexiest statement: stranger and stranger (i am left in a state of flustered awe at every stranger statement, so mags 1, 24, and 116 are runner ups)

The Extinction 1/10

the inheritors captured my fancy but there is Nothing sexy about climate change.