#tly in order to get to that possible explanation I want no part of it in any way shape of form i simply refuse

[bonnissance]

me @ cam: maybe use ur words and tell ur mother you don’t want to do things?! instead of letting her pull you along w things you don’t want to do bc she doesn’t know you don’t want them?

Edit: below the cut!rant thinky thoughts bc I’m real worried about what the writers think is the point of Cam as a character 

So Can doesn’t make any sense as a real person in-universe. 

His emotional maturity is w e i r d it doesn't follow Bernie's pattern and it doesn't follow Marcus's either. He got this weird “I dont want what my parents want for me,” even tho either of his parents actively forced him into medicine? 

Like, having both ur parents in the same field and feeling as if you should do that is one thing, but you’re only going to feel like you should do that thing if you don’t know what else you want to do enough to stand on your on feet and say: I want this other thing. in which case, the actual issue is the not knowing what you want in life, and not external influences i.e. parents wanting you do do something more than the you wanting something else.

so Cam chose to go into medicine, of his own volition, and then dropped out for the same reason. 

and obvi Bernie is excited to see him go back to medicine in Indefensible bc he'd been rolling after flunking out and not really doing anything nor having anything else he wanted to do. but she didn’t force him back into it, he chose to come back bc of Morven etc. Then he came to Holby and then left for the same reasons: they were all his choice.

Just like him agreeing to observe must have been his own choice. And I can see how that agreement to come observe might be just about the fact that the surgery sounds interesting regardless of what medicine he wants to specialise in, but he could just as easily have said “no thanks i’m happy in London” if he really didn’t want to come back to Holby or spend time w his mother. 

But he chose to come back for a bit of his own volition bc there's no way Bernie could have exerted enough pressure on Cam while he was living and working on London to make him feel pressured to be involved in trauma. She’s been distracted af by huge things happening in her life recently and there's no logical way she could have been involved enough in Cam's life to make his decision about her. That kind of pressure w the filial history they have would be enormous and it’s not something Bernie is capably of doing unconsciously. 

we know she's not an inherently overbearing parent - of course she has expectations and wants and she’s def been more involved w Cam and his life since the car accident and then again after Elinor died, but more likely than not that’s just text messages and the odd phone call), but that’s and nothing that could possibly make Cam feel like his life decisions are all about her bc Cam has had plenty of time apart from Bernie to develop into his own human away from maternal expectations.

and if she had intentionally tried to apply that kind of pressure (wildly out of character as it is) there’s no way she’d have had that time or the energy to make that happen anyway. like, she can’t even got on top of her paperwork ffs. so it simply isn’t possible for Bernie to have pressured Cam enough to make him feel his life choices about her.

So unless the writers are deliberately trying to create a character with no inherent sense of self and is thus incapably of know what he wants in the first place (which i don’t think they were), neither his relationship w Bernie or his emotional palette makes any sense what so ever. 

And it unsettles me, bc I think what writers are trying to implying that Cam has some extremely serious emotional issue re his mother, but nothing serious enough for him/them to actually address in canon.

Bc when Cam came to work at Holby he makes out like Bernie refuses to talk to him of her own volition (i.e. “this is not an appropriate work place conversation” “well you’ll just have to have a proper conversation w them then”) despite the fact that we know Bernie wants her children in her life and def kept in contact w Cam after the car accident (bc you don’t not keep in contact w ur kid when they’re been in a car accident like wot?).

and like, Bernie’s surprise at Cam being at Holby could only have been bc Cam never told her he was coming back to medicine/the ward. he must have made the decision not to mention it to her, bc sending a “oh btw mum, i’m coming to work w you” text would be the natural thing to do in that situation. But he didn’t do that. Add that to all the digs at Bernie about never using her words to validate him re the compliments etc

And when he left w/out saying anything is was if he was skulking away, and I think it was supposed to be both an act of care i.e. not wanting to worry her more than what she always was re Serena, as well as an unconscious but deliberate act actually wanting to hurt Bernie (like a revenge act of leaving when she needs support akin to how it felt to Cam when Bernie went off to serve during his teens, for instance).

And now they’re framing that him being back at holby is Bernie's fault, as if he - as an adult human - has no say about how his life turns out. Which is simply Not True? it cannot be true, bc anything that would compromise his emotional development to the that degree cannot have existed in his childhood and align w the canon we have for Bernie and Bernie/Marcus.

Absent parenting only messes someone up so much but Cam appears to be displaying extremely deep seated issues that outflank which is logically conceivable given the canon info we know atm but the writers aren’t engaging w any of this, at all. And it’s got me real unsettled I don’t know why they’d include this content and not address it unless they’re legit not aware it’s in his character. In which case, Cam is legit a just prop they bring in to traumatise Bernie when they feel she needs a good kicking when she’s down, rather than a legit character in his own right, and that’s got me fucking unsettled.