#tldr: watch nimona its great

[komorisansgarden]

i watched nimona for the first time the other day, and ive decided that yes, i will talk about it because how could I not.

i would touch on the art or the general plot, but honestly i need to talk about nimona herself first because wow did her character really resonate with me.

As someone who is queer, gnc and neurodivergent, i felt so represented by her and the way she’s treated. its no secret that there is a lot of queerphobia & ableism in the world, and theres an obvious parallel between how she’s treated and how real queer/nd people are treated irl, but i think theres so much more too.

I loved how Nimona just existed. She wasn’t afraid to run around outside and be a person. She walked through the streets, she interacted with people, she did people things. All of that made it so much more heartbreaking when you see the difference between how she’s treated before & after people find out she’s different. I felt that so much. Because I’ve been there. There have been times where I’ve had multiple, full, amicable conversations with people, and the second it comes up that I’m queer, they’ve become withdrawn. I’ve had a girl tell me “I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear that” when I offhandedly mentioned I’m not straight. And it hurts so badly to see that shift in people around you when they find out you aren’t like them.

On top of that, I connected so deeply with the emotional turmoil she faces. Near the end, when she’s about to turn into the ‘shadow monster’ (not sure what else to call it), we can hear overlapping voices of people calling her a monster, or saying she’s unwanted. And a lot of it is Ballister, obviously, because of how close they’ve gotten, and he was the most recent rejection she’s faced. But something that I realized while watching is that (correct me if im wrong) I’m fairly certain most of what we hear coming from ‘him’ isnt actually things he’s said. As someone who’s had their fair share of mental breakdowns, it was so interesting to not only see a visual representation of what it feels like (the visuals were so stunning and hit really close to home), but also (possibly) a peak into what happens inside your head as well. There are lots of things that people have said floating around her mind, but also there are things that people haven’t- things that her mind has simply made up in a moment of complete chaos and turmoil.

Then, when she turns into the ‘beast’, we don’t really see much of her actively attacking. She’s mostly just walking forward towards the Gloreth statue- to the giant reminder of the person she loved most, who then hurt her most. We see her in an almost unresponsive state, only really reacting when she’s been hurt. And then she gets to the statue, and decides to give into the thing people want from her. I probably would have cried when we hear her thinking back to her comment of sometimes wanting to give into it, if it werent for the fact i was watching with my brothers. And speaking of that quote, I also felt that super deeply- not only the actual message, but the fact that it’s clear its not something she actively wants. It’s something that rings in her mind during really harsh moments, a silent urge to simply give in, and its scary. Its terrifying. And now, while shes in a nearly catatonic state, shes going to go through with it.

Im not sure how to wrap this up, because its currently midnight and this is basically my brain running through all the ways that i felt Nimona’s character in my soul, but,,, i suppose the take-away is that the movie is great and it did a great job at resonating with me in regards to mental illness and living in a world where people hate even the idea of your existence.