#tldr stop and question why you think someones opinion *of their own experiences* are worth less than your opinion | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

divinationcentral · 4 years ago

Note

so i have a crush on this guy at work. and ive reached out to him before but he said he wasn’t interested because hes focusing on himself rn. we’ve been able to keep things cordial and friendly but im really not sure if i should wait or move on. i did a reading about it to check in on our energy and im not sure how to feel about it. i pulled 4 of cups, the hanged man, judgement, 6 of pentacles, 4 of pentacles, two ace of swords (i used two decks) and ace of pentacles. when i asked for clarity about his struggle i pulled 5 of swords, queen of swords, and the fool. i also pulled temperance and justice. if it were you, how would you interpret this?

Hi there! I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get to your request sooner - I was on the clock! c: Just given the background that you gave me, this would be my interpretation-- and be aware, it’s incredibly long! LOL. So I’m sorry. <3 BUT... If you want the TLDR version, here it is: You should move on. You will get another opportunity like this again. It may not be with him, but life will always offer you new things (new relationships, new experiences, etc). This person is currently struggling with a decision that he cannot make, and he must make. He must be open, honest, and fair, and unafraid to trust someone again. And he has not been able to, and is therefore reeling from a past situation that left him feeling slightly victimized, it seems. If you are willing to wait, this person will offer themselves again. But as it is presently--you will not get what you wish. He is reevaluating a scenario, and you must be prepared to wait for it some more. You deserve more, by the way. You deserve better. Move forward. And you will be happy again. You need to make the choice to move on, however. Ask yourself if you are ready for this? What is it that you are holding onto? What is holding you back? What limiting beliefs do you have of yourself? Crush them. You are great. Anyone would be lucky to have you. Pick yourself back up again if you are upset. <3

You will be surprised. You will have an offer for love again. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ If you want my logic behind it? Be prepared lol... You’re welcome to read it. But I think the first half would suffice. The rest is just for your personal intake. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The good thing is that you pulled the Ace of Swords TWICE. I would easily read that as both people are aware of each other’s sentiments. So, nothing is being hidden. You have the answer you seek. In other words: He knows how you feel, and you know how he feels. There is no hidden motive (if you were wondering). The only question left to answer is what is this Ace of Swords clarifying, right? Did he tell you he was attracted to you as well? Did he beat around the bush? Is the only reason he’s denying this connection BECAUSE he does not have time or energy to pursue a relationship right now? Or is it this one, specifically. In which, I would recommend you just respect that. And respect yourself, likewise. If you wish to move on from the situation—nothing is really holding you back from seeking another connection. And I say that only because it follows the order in which you pulled your cards: 4 of cups = discontentment. Boredom. And usually, to me, disappointment with what one has. If it is an offer of love, it means you are not appreciating it for what it’s worth (and I’m not referring to you, by the way, just in general). Or not seeing the potential something can bring into your life. That is not to hurt your feelings, by the way. But, in truth, he may simply be too distracted to notice that you are offering something sincere. And for you, that is creating a sense of being placid in your life (which is not bad... it just means nothing is happening, and that could lead to boredom and a sense of feeling stuck... which turns into discontentment, and you could start ignoring the possibilities in your life as you sit and wait). You feel like you can’t get ahead whichever way you try—that is because you’ve hit a wall. A boundary wall, or as I like to call it: the rejection wall, but that has a really negative connotation… he hasn’t rejected you outright, but it is in his own way—because he stated he needed that space, and you needed a clear cut answer, I presume. One he didn’t exactly give to you. There wasn’t a time and place set... just “not right now.” Which is what is holding you back from asking again, likely. AND it’s stopping you from moving ahead into something different, actually. Which... quite frankly isn’t fair. It should just be a yes or no, in my opinion (unless he did straight up tell you no in his own way and it just hasn’t registered yet).

You have to ask yourself if you are okay with this. Because it is likely you will continue to wait until you have a new opportunity with him. And it may be that you wish for him to offer it. What can be indicated by The Ace of Swords, however, is victory. So, communicating has and will continue to help your situation. If he said no then, what about now? What about at a later date... Right now, The Hanged Man tells me that (as a shared energy, again) you are both in suspension (and this is your position in the tarot, presently). You may be waiting on that offer from this person, and this person may be in a period of evaluation themselves. Only until you can both revisit the situation again will it, and can it move forward, and change. Likewise, this person can be waiting to hear from you, actually… but I cannot say that for certain, since I’m not reading his tarot, unfortunately. But because you pulled it as a shared energy: you may take that as you wish. The Judgement always indicates renewal and second chances. You have the option to move ahead, you do, by yourself, into something different. But you also have the option as well to ask him again. And get the answer that you wish. Regardless, you will start something new. That is The Judgement in a nutshell (with or without this person). It is looking at the past, and then being absolved of it; declared free from guilt, blame, shame, or responsibility—cleared, as if though it were a hindrance being rid of from your life. And that could be this decision that you need to make. Because it’s holding you back, isn’t it? You may be wondering if it’s just you. It isn’t. You just need clarification from the situation again. What you’re wondering is what is the right decision to make. Like I said: The Ace of Swords is communication, and it is what will help set this situation straight. So, in short: you need to communicate this again. If it were up to me, the determination I would make is to just ask him again. Be blunt. Do you like me? Do you find me attractive at all...? It seems creepy, I know, but in truth... You need to know that. Otherwise- it’s just you wanting something from him, and waiting and waiting and waiting (I don’t know if he told you this, however, since I have no clue what your actual situation is). And that puts you in a shitty position, I’m not gonna lie. Don’t become desperate!

And if he says the same thing... this will only happen when he’s ready. When he’s willing to explore the situation. What is holding you back from moving on? I ask you this now. You can give yourself that answer, actually, and you should be honest with yourself. It will help. I don’t know how long ago you made your feelings known to this person, but if it wasn’t that long ago, and he hasn’t approached you yet… it is definitely because he is not ready. The Four of Pentacles and the Six of Pentacles would nonetheless indicate a stalemate in the connection, either way. Either one person is too afraid to give, or is too reserved to explain (why or what is happening with their life and their situation and how they feel, strictly out of fear of losing something they have gained—that could be monetary, or that could simply be their independence). And that could easily refer to him, since you’ve already expressed how you felt. But since it is still a shared energy, you as well could be feeling afraid to move forward now that you are not certain what to expect. If you want to grow closer to this person, I recommend you speak clearly, and continue to approach your relationship with the same enthusiasm. But if you no longer see it for what it was worth -- it’s best to stress the positives, and regain a sense of freedom and choice. Understand that you can seek a relationship that is open to receive you, with someone else. That is just the truth. You have that option as well. You are single and free, I presume? No? You always have the option to start again. And this person will obtain that opportunity once they can reclaim their own independence, of whatever it is that is holding them back at this moment. However, because what you’re truly wanting to clarify is whether or not there will be an opportunity for this relationship in the future (like romantic, I would presume)—the simplest answer I can give you is that there will be a chance gifted to you. The Ace of Pentacles indicates new financial beginnings, traditionally. But since this is a relationship reading—I’d say you both have that opportunity whenever it is presented. Meaning he can offer you this at any given point in time, and so can you (a relationship, I mean). But life will also continue to offer you new things anyway (new experiences, chances, opportunities). What you make of it will be your own. And you will have a chance to explore this again. Whether or not it is something you choose to do, because… Aces are effortless, new beginnings. 😉 just saying. If this person is not going to offer you a relationship -- the offer will come from someone else. You must weigh your decision against what you are willing to take. And you can wait for this person to offer you a chance again. I can’t say they will, honestly… because I just don’t have that indication yet. All I see is a person holding back, and someone that is willing to give. And an opportunity only comes when you can offer it again. Ask yourself: Do you want a closed off individual that isn’t willing to give? Or do you want someone who is open and honest with what they are wanting with you, upfront and direct? Is that this person? Do you have that knowledge yet? Or should you get to know the situation better. You will have a chance to start things up again. Depending on how you approach him, and how you approach this reading. What I have said and what you see in the cards will give you that incentive. I’d recommend strictly asking the tarot what advice it could give you moving forward in this situation, if that’s what you wish to do anyway. (Personally—I think you will get a chance to express yourself again. And how you felt). For his energy: As a person… he is likely learning to balance a situation out in his life. It might not have been fair for him, or whoever else he is currently involved with. It’s teaching him a hard lesson about being honest (honesty). The Fool indicates he needs to approach his situation with optimism. Something he will likely pick back up again, once he realizes that he deserves fairness for himself. And if this is regarding you: it’s that he needs to recognize you are being fair with him, and honest. And so he must be fair with you. If you are The Queen of Swords in his life, you have spoken your truth to him or will soon, and he quite frankly can’t argue with it. I would recommend that you be fair, and try and see his position for what it’s worth. Because otherwise it will create conflicts the more you ask why you can’t be with him. He simply is reeling from a bad experience, it seems. Which I would have to say is separate from you, unless you’ve had a falling out with him. He should be honest with you, however. And you should be fair with him (talk to him, see how he is, ask about his life and what’s going on with it—if he’s willing to share, it will help, it will show that you are interested as to why he’s taking time to focus on himself at this point in his life). —but, most importantly, be fair to yourself. If you do not like what he has to offer you, I would recommend guidance on how to move forward from the situation. But giving him another chance is something you have to choose. And he has to be willing to take. Not clam up again. Otherwise, this situation would require time, and it will possibly be a lot of your time. Until he feels safe to pursue this connection (in general). This situation also needs give and take. With The Six of Pentacles being in your spread—you must offer of yourself in order to receive again. And this person needs to learn to give, and to receive. Give and take is just that. Otherwise, all you receive is what the other person is willing to give, and in this position, only one person is being fair in the spread. It could be that you view the situation like this. And it could simply mean that you are not being as giving as you would think. Sometimes that can happen when we are feeling restricted by someone else’s wishes. See the situation differently. If this were your friend—would you simply lose all interest just because they’re having a hard time? Right? Or would you give them space? The Six of Pentacles is generous. The Four of Pentacles is the complete opposite of this; it’s feeling like you don’t have enough, and so are restricted, and restrict yourself, both in what you can give and what you can take—because you choose to keep what you have saved instead (this could be your pride, your ego, anything really—it’s like saying “you are saving face”). If The Four of Pentacles is your energy, I recommend that you view yourself differently. You are very sweet and kind I presume. 😊 And are probably very loving (I would hope lol). And have a lot to offer him (and any person really). You really do. If you move ahead with something or someone else—he really can’t blame you if he just sat on this offer time and time again. And you should view yourself as someone that is willing to give and take, and express that openly. Even if he just said no to a relationship—does not mean you can’t pick things back up again at a later date. OR it doesn’t mean that if you are currently just being cordial with each other—that it’s a bad thing. You are still in each other’s presence. It all depends on what you expect to gain from this. Hope this helps.

If you want -- let me know if you’d like me to pull you some romance cards from my sexy deck~ lol I call it that, but it’s the Tarot of Sexual Magic ~ It offers healing messages for love, romance, and sex… I like to think it’s a fun way to approach relationships.

#personal reading #SORRY!!!!#I KNOW THIS IS SO LONG D:#It wasn't my intention #I just had a lot to say about it #hope it doesn't turn you away lol <3

1 note · View note

laurylyonus · 6 years ago

Text

WordPress Hosting: A Brutally Honest Guide That’ll Save You Money

This is painful to say, but…

Most of what’s published out there about WordPress hosting is total BS.

Not just incomplete information. Not just half-truths.

I’m talking outright lies and boldfaced scams.

You can’t even get straightforward answers to basic questions like…

Should you go to the trouble of setting up a WordPress site or just start a blog for free on Medium?

Which company is good? Who can you trust?

What’s the difference between all the different options?

It’s infuriating, but listen…

I’ve helped build and run some of the most popular blogs in the world, scaling them from nothing to millions of visitors per month. During that process, I learned a lot of valuable lessons — often the hard way — about what makes a good WordPress host.

And today, I’m publishing the guide I wish somebody had given me.

It’s brutally honest. It’s full of technical details (that I do my best to explain). It’ll also save you tons of time and money.

The Different Levels of WordPress Hosting

To start, here’s an infographic explaining the typical path most bloggers take:

They start with a shared host, and then they grow to a Virtual Private Server, and then they grow to a Dedicated Server.

Wondering how that applies to you?

Here’s the short answer:

TLDR: The Best WordPress Hosting Right Now (In My Opinion)

If you’re under 100,000 visitors per month, don’t torture yourself by getting a VPS or dedicated server. Just grab a cheap, no-frills shared hosting account.

Is it the best hosting in the world?

No, but it’s way better value than the alternatives. Here’s a pricing comparison:

The more expensive things get, the more complicated and frustrating it gets too. You’ve never experienced misery until you try to optimize a dedicated server for the first time.

My advice?

Keep it simple and cheap. Use a shared host.

Now, that begs the question…

What’s the Most Cost-Effective Hosting for WordPress?

Personally, I use SiteGround (affiliate link) for all my new sites. Here’s why:

It’s the best balance I’ve found of quality and price. You can find cheaper hosts, but you can’t find anyone cheap that’s as good as them.

They are optimized for WordPress. Your site will run faster there than on many hosts.

I use them personally to host most of our sites, and both their servers and support have always been excellent.

That being said, I’ll be straight with you…

SiteGround isn’t the only great host in the world. They’re just the one I personally use and recommend to our 2.6 million readers. I wouldn’t endorse them publicly without having a lot of confidence in them.

But there other good companies with a different approach.

Who Is the Best WordPress Host, Regardless of Price?

WP Engine (affiliate) has an impeccable reputation for flawless hosting and support. In my opinion, there’s no question they are better than SiteGround, but they are also 10X more expensive.

Is it worth it?

If you want a host that can take unlimited traffic and has WordPress experts standing by to help you with pretty much anything you need, plus you’re hosting a business website with a significant budget, maybe it’s worth the extra cost. Quite a few big blogs host with them, and they believe it’s worth every penny.

I’ve also been to their offices in downtown Austin and met with the executive team. It’s a solid company that’ll be around for years to come.

The bottom line:

If you want to skip the rest of this post and just choose a host, go with SiteGround (affiliate link) if you have a small budget and WP Engine (affiliate) if you have a large one. You won’t regret going with other company.

Before you choose any WordPress host though, here’s an important point you should understand:

Most Reviews Are Bought and Paid for

Pretty much every blogger making a hosting recommendation is getting compensated by the host. And yes, that includes me.

The difference?

I’m not hiding anything. I’m proud of the partnerships I have with SiteGround (affiliate link) and WP Engine (affiliate), because I have personal experience with both companies, many of my students are customers, and they treat everyone extremely well. I would happily recommend them even if they weren’t paying me a penny.

And that’s NOT true for other bloggers.

Most don’t even use the host they are recommending. In my opinion, that’s just unethical.

Especially when it comes to one particular company…

Many Hosts are Owned by the Same Terrible Company

2slick.com FreeYellow PowWeb AccountSupport Glob@t PureHost A Small Orange Homestead ReadyHosting ApolloHosting HostCentric ResellerClub AptHost HostClear SEOGears Arvixe Host Excellence SEO Hosting Berry Information Systems HostGator Site5 BigRock HostMonster SiteBuilder.com BizLand HostNine Sitelio BlueDomino HostYourSite.com Sitey BlueFur HostV Southeast Web BlueHost HyperMart Spry BuyDomains IdeaHost StartLogic Cirtex Hosting IMOutdoors SuperGreen Hosting Cloud by IX Impress.ly TypePad Constant Contact Intuit Websites USANetHosting Directi iPage vDeck Dollar2Host IPOWER/iPowerWeb Verio Domain.com IX Web Hosting VirtualAvenue DomainHost JustCloud VPSLink Dot5Hosting JustHost WebHost4Life Dotster LogicBoxes WebHosting.info easyCGI MojoMarketplace WebsiteBuilder.com eHost MyDomain Webstrike Solutions EntryHost MyResellerHome Webzai Escalate Internet NetFirms World Wide Web Hosting FastDomain Networks Web Hosting Xeran FatCow Nexx YourWebHosting

Ever heard of Bluehost?

Or maybe Hostgator?

Both hosts are owned by a conglomerate called Endurance International Group (EIG). In fact, EIG runs most of the big hosting companies, and it continues to buy new ones all the time.

So what makes them so awful?

After they purchase a host, they lay off support staff, stop investing in new technology, and funnel the money into increased advertising and payouts to shareholders. In every case, the reputation of the host plummets.

Of course, you might be wondering how you find out if they own your host. Or for that matter, how do you know if your host is a good one if nearly every review is bought and paid for?

The answer:

The Best Way to Get Unbiased Reviews

Web Hosting Talk is the biggest forum on the web about hosting, and it has literally millions of reviews. They don’t allow affiliate links either, so you can count on the reviews to be unbiased.

Granted, every host gets a bad review now and again, but you can comb through dozens of reports to get a much better feel for the reputation of the host, as well as their strengths and weaknesses.

Also, here’s a little hack to save you some time…

Instead of using the search tool built into their forum, which can be a little clunky, grab the URL of the forum you want to search, and then put the following in Google:

site:URL “host name”

For example, if you wanted to verify the reputation of SiteGround (affiliate link), you can go to their list of forums, right click on the one that seems most appropriate, and copy the link:

From there, use the search parameter above in Google. In this case, it would be:

site:http://www.webhostingtalk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=1 “SiteGround”

And voilà, you have a listing of reviews you can easily look through for reliable information.

In particular, here’s the biggest factor that should influence your decision:

How to Evaluate Customer Support

Customer support. When you’re a beginner, it’s more important than anything.

No surprise there, right?

But here’s the big lesson…

It’s not just about wait times or the intelligence of the technicians. It’s also about the method of support, what the host supports, and the helpdesk schedule.

For instance:

Do you have to submit tickets through their helpdesk and wait for a response, or can you do a live chat or phone call with a technician and actually have a conversation?

Do they offer support for WordPress and the most popular themes and plug-ins? It’s shocking, but unless they specifically mention it, many don’t.

Do they offer support 24 hours a day, seven days a week, or is it only during normal business hours?

Personally, I want a host with technicians I can interact with in real time (either through phone or chat), have a thorough knowledge of WordPress, and are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. And that’s actually relatively difficult to find at an affordable price.

That’s why I think SiteGround (affiliate link) is the best host for most beginners. They give you all those things for an entire year for less than the cost of a dinner at a nice restaurant.

And here’s what’s even cooler…

Their servers are also configured especially for WordPress. Let’s talk about that next.

The Configuration Matters More Than Tech

Chances are, you’ve seen a page on a hosting website that looks something like this:

Almost like a foreign language, right? Disk space, RAM, page views, uniques, SSDs — what’s it all mean? And for that matter, how are you supposed to know which plan is right for you?

Actually… you don’t have to. If you’re running a relatively simple WordPress site, none of those technical details matter much. You can ignore them.

Here’s proof:

In 2012, a fellow named Ewen Leith managed to get a $15 server to run a WordPress site receiving 10 million hits a day. Granted, it was an extremely simple site using a set up that would be tough for a novice to manage, but it’s still proof the configuration of your web host matters much more than having high-end hardware.

That’s another reason why I recommend SiteGround (affiliate link) – their servers are configured specifically for WordPress. Your site will be able to handle far more traffic with far fewer resources. Over the long term, it translates into significant savings, because you have to upgrade less often.

Granted, SiteGround isn’t the only host who does this. If you decide to search for someone else, here’s what to look for:

Litespeed or Apache NGINX

Database caching through Memcached

Support for PHP 7 and HTTP/2

RAM, SSD space, bandwidth — for a normal WordPress site, none of those specs really matter much. Ignore them and focus on the three above details.

Installing Too Many Plugins Can Mess up Any WordPress Host

So, you found a host that’s perfectly optimized for WordPress. Your site should be nice and zippy, right?

Actually… not necessarily.

If you install too many WordPress plugins (or even just one really bad one), you can slow down your site or even cause your host to cancel your account. It’s the most common source of problems.

So,how do you know which plugins to install and which ones to avoid?

The short answer: install as few as possible, and if you ever have problems with your site, the first thing you should always do is try deactivating plugins. For a detailed answer, take a look at our post on essential WordPress plug-ins.

Make Sure You Get a Free SSL Certificate

Ever since Google announced that having an SSL certificate is now a ranking factor, it’s become essential for you to have one.

What’s an SSL certificate?

It’s an extra layer of security and reporting around the safety of your website. Any site using SSL will have the prefix “https” in the URL.

In the past, you had to pay a yearly fee to register your SSL certificate, but most of the top web posts are now offering one for free. You should take advantage of that savings and have your site on https from day one.

The 7 Things That Really Matter When Choosing the Best WordPress Host

By this point, I wouldn’t blame you if your head is spinning.

We’ve covered a lot of technical details in this post, so I thought I would conclude with a quick checklist to help you choose the best WordPress host for you. Here are the seven most important things to remember:

Unless your site is massive, you don’t need a VPS or dedicated server. Stick with a shared host.

For the love of God, avoid any hosting company owned by EIG.

When evaluating customer support, look for 24/7 live chat and/or phone support.

The configuration of your web host matters more than the technical specs

Go easy on the WordPress plugins. They can slow down your site.

You should expect to get a free SSL certificate. Use it.

If you’re tired of thinking about all this stuff, go with either SiteGround (affiliate link) (cheap but good) or WP Engine (affiliate) (premium).

Follow those recommendations, and you’ll save yourself tons of time, money, and headaches. I speak from experience.

Ultimately though, the decision is yours. Choose wisely, my friend.

About the Author: Jon Morrow has asked repeatedly to be called “His Royal Awesomeness” but no one listens to him. So, he settles for CEO of Smart Blogger. Poor man. 🙂

The post WordPress Hosting: A Brutally Honest Guide That’ll Save You Money appeared first on Smart Blogger.

from SEO and SM Tips https://smartblogger.com/wordpress-hosting/

0 notes

stevenshartus · 6 years ago