#tldr for what's under the read more:
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cenvast Ā· 3 months ago
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@dokibaesil ty as always for your comments! screenshotted tags and my response under the cut lolll
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You open a very fascinating discussion on accounting for cultural context when analyzing characters' motives and behaviors! My goal with this post was to address some of the discourse surrounding Toshiro and critique his character without resorting to racist generalizations. As you and others have said, critique against him sometimes devolves into racially-charged rhetoric.
As you've implied, it's important to acknowledge that in real life, people of color, especially people from collectivist cultures like Toshiro, often have a harder time extricating themselves from their families when they want to ā€” or do ā€” go against societal conventions than white people do. Within this lens, despite Laios and Toshiro both being from families with political power and disapproving of how that power is wielded, one can assume that Laios, as a white man who's presumably from an individualistic culture, would find it easier to leave his village than Toshiro, who's from a collectivist culture.
But I would actually suggest that Laios' village is also more collectivist. It's difficult for a medieval farming village to not be collectivist; a villager has to work for the good of the whole, or everyone starves. Also, the villagers reject difference and enforce conformity as seen through their treatment of Falin. Valuing conformity is a common trend within collectivist societies. Both Laios and Toshiro seem to have had collectivist upbringings, so leaving would've been hard for them both in this sense.
Interestingly, Laios' father seems to have less authority over his village than Toshiro's father has over his clan. While Toshiro's father does many things that upset his retainers without suffering any consequences, Laios' father complies with the village's climate; he kicks out his own daughter when the villagers turn against her. He seems more beholden to the village's wishes in a way that Toshiro's father is not to his clan. Because of this, Toshiro probably also has more power in his clan as his father's heir than Laios had in his village as his father's heir. Toshiro probably has more ability to change things than Laios did.
The main barrier Toshiro seems to face with leaving is the hierarchical nature of his household. Obedience is heavily emphasized, and running away wouldn't be very compliant of him. His personality is more passive than Laios' as well, and like you said, it's hard to leave everything you've ever known and leap into the unknown. But when the choice is between being a slave owner and leaving your household (he can also stay and change things, so it's not like these are his only choices), being from a collectivist culture or a strict household cannot excuse perpetuating slavery. Of course, it'd be hard for him to leave or disrupt the status quo, but not nearly as hard as it is for Izutsumi and Inutade to be enslaved by his family.
I don't think the solution is necessarily Toshiro leaving his household and/or staying in Melini. Ideally, he would go back to Wa and use his privilege to dismantle the imbalanced power structures of his household as you mentioned that some fans have headcanoned.
As much as I'd like for that to happen, I personally believe Toshiro acknowledging his participation in his household's system of injustice and working to dismantle it is a bit unrealistic at the story's close. I do believe Toshiro, like anyone else, has the ability to change. But at the narrative's end, he still has not experienced an extreme enough event that would force him to confront the class hierarchies he upholds and dismantle them.
If he wanted to dismantle his household's hierarchies, he would essentially have to tear down his entire society's social organization by ceding his power as a nobleman and placing all his servants and slaves on an equal footing with him. It would be the societal equivalent of causing an earthquake. If Toshiro, the notoriously most avoidant character of the series, were to do this, he would have to experience something extremely drastic. No situation he encountered on the Island seems to have explicitly increased his empathy for demi-humans and/or lower class people. Yes, he experienced racism on the Island, but we don't gain any indication that he's drawn parallels between Laios' microaggressions towards him and his family's exploitation of his retainers' labor and dehumanization of demi-humans. Beyond the shared experience of being marginalized, these are also just fairly unrelated.
Toshiro's growth in the series feels more personal to me. He learns to express himself better, but learning to be more expressive doesn't necessarily correlate to gaining political awareness regarding other marginalized people's experiences.
Returning to Izutsumi, I love that her storyline is about constantly trying reclaim her agency and personhood from the Nakamoto clan and then ultimately escaping from them. Notably, she is a slave, and she's heavily racialized in the narrative. She's perceived as sub-human because she's a beastman. For instance, Toshitsugu introduces her to Maizuru as a "kitten," not a girl. As a slave, she's held against her will. It's not that she doesn't want to leave or doesn't have the motivation to stay away, but that she physically cannot leave because of, like you said, the hag curse. While she obviously grows as a character throughout the story, she has always wanted to escape her enslavement. I see her character arc as not being about learning to leave but about learning to depend on others.
Unlike Izutsumi, Toshiro isn't really motivated to leave his clan. He's in nearly the most privileged position in his household while she's in the lowest possible position. Despite how his clan has emotionally traumatized him, he still materially benefits from staying and inheriting the clan leadership. In contrast, if Izutsumi stayed, she would just continue to be exploited and dehumanized. So while Toshiro and Izutsumi come from the same household, a racialized slave girl and her nobleman master don't have equivalent amounts of agency in leaving the household.
"Toshiro Is Sexist," "Toshiro Owns Slaves": What's Really Going on With This Guy?
I've seen a lot of debate on whether or not Toshiro is problematic because he's a slave owner or because he's sexist in the context of his crush on Falin. While I do want to examine his relationship to Falin, I'd like to take a few steps back and unpack his upbringing first. We'll dive into the gender and class dynamics he was raised with and how it impacts his behavior in the main storyline.
Like all people, Toshiro is shaped by the environment he grew up in. Toshitsugu, Toshiro's father and the head of the Nakamoto clan, is the most impactful model of authority and manhood in his life. Toshiro does recognize some of his father's flaws and tries to avoid replicating them. But whether or not he emulates or subverts his father's behavior, Toshitsugu is often the starting point for Toshiro's treatment of others, particularly marginalized people.
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The Nakamoto clan exists under a patriarchal hierarchy with Toshitsugu at the top. As noted by @fumifooms in their Nakamoto household post, his wife has more authority than Maizuru. She's able to ban Maizuru from parts of their residence, but despite disliking his infidelity, she can't divorce him or stop him from cheating on her. Their marriage is not an equal partnership.
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On an interpersonal level, Toshitsugu and Maizuru also have a fraught relationship. While she does seem to care for him, she's often frustrated by his thoughtless behavior.
For example, he drunkenly buys Izutsumi for her ā€” without considering how she'll have to raise this child ā€” and invades her room in the middle of the night. When he cryptically says, "It's all my fault," she replies, "I can think of a lot of things that are your fault." She calls him an "idiot" and "believes that [Toshiro] will grow up to be a better clan leader than his father," implying that she takes issue with Toshitsugu's leadership.
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Because Maizuru and Toshitsugu are described as being "in an intimate relationship" and "seem[ing] to be lovers," Maizuru appears to be a consensual participant. Still, this doesn't negate the large power imbalance between them as a male noble clan leader and his female retainer. This imbalance introduces an insidious undertone to Maizuru's frustration with Toshitsugu. Like Toshiro's mother, Maizuru doesn't have the agency to do as she pleases in their relationship; he has the ultimate authority. For instance, she doesn't seem to want to raise Izutsumi, but she has to anyway.
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While Maizuru's role as Toshitsugu's mistress is significant, she's also the Nakamoto clan's teacher and Toshiro's primary maternal figure. She cares deeply for Toshiro: tailing him, feeding him, and taking responsibility even for his actions as an adult. While it might seem sweet that she cares for him like a son at first, Maizuru was notably fifteen years old at the time of his birth. In the extra comic below, he's six years old and has already been in her care for some time. Even if we're being generous and assuming that she didn't start raising him until he was six, she was still only twenty-one at the time she was parenting her boss/lover's child with another woman.
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Maizuru's roles as mistress and maternal figure, in addition to her role as retainer, demonstrate the intersection between gendered and class oppression in the Nakamoto household. Despite her original role being a retainer trained in espionage, Toshitsugu presses her into performing gendered labor for him and eventually, Toshiro. She's expected to be Toshitsugu's lover, perform emotional labor for him as his confidant, care for his child, and carry out domestic tasks like cooking. She says, "Even during missions, I was often dragged into the kitchen." If she was a male servant, I doubt she would have been expected to perform these additional tasks. She can't avoid these tasks either, stating that her "own feelings don't factor into it."
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Toshitsugu disregards his wife's and Maizuru's desires and emotions to serve his own interests. Because he has societal power over them as a nobleman and in Maizuru's case, her master, neither woman can escape their position in the household hierarchy.
As a result, Toshiro grew up within a structure where men and male nobility, in particular, wield the most societal power. The hierarchical nature of his household and society discourages everyone, including him as a clan leader's eldest son, from questioning and disrupting the existing hierarchy.
The other Nakamoto household members also internalize its sexist, classist power dynamics.
For example, Hien expects that she and Toshiro will replicate the uneven dynamics of the previous generation, regardless of her personal feelings. She sees her and Toshiro's relationship as paralleling Maizuru and Toshitsugu's relationship; she is the closest woman to Toshiro and his retainer, so she's shocked when Toshiro doesn't attempt to begin an intimate relationship with her. Notably, she doesn't have actual feelings for him. Her expectations are centered around the household's precedent of placing emotional, sexual, domestic, and child-rearing labor onto the female servants without any regard for their personal desires.
Hien also probably knows that her position in the household will improve if she is Toshiro's lover because she's seen it improve Maizuru's position. However, the fact that being the future clan leader's lover is the closest proximity she, as a female servant, has to power further reveals the gendered, class-based oppression she and the other women live under.
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It's important to note that the Nakamoto clan bought Benichidori, Izutsumi, and Inutade as slaves, so they have less power and agency than Maizuru and Hien. The clan further dehumanizes Izutsumi and Inutade as demi-humans; their enslavement contains an additional layer of racialization.
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Toshiro isn't oblivious to the gendered, class, and racial power dynamics of his household. He tries to distance himself from participating in its exploitative power structure. He walls himself off from Hien, who he's known since childhood, to avoid replicating his father's behavior and making his servant into his lover. He disapproves of his father's enslavement of Izutsumi and Inutade, and he lets Izutsumi go when she runs away in the Dungeon.
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But does any of this absolve him of his complicity in his household's sexist, classist power dynamics and racialized slavery?
The short answer is absolutely not.
Despite his distaste for his father's exploitation of his servants and slaves, Toshiro still uses them. He refers to his party as "his retainers," and he has them fight and perform domestic tasks for him. You could argue that Toshiro doesn't like to and thus, doesn't regularly use his servants and slaves. In the context of him asking his retainers to help him rescue Falin, Maizuru says, "The only time he ever made any sort of personal request was for this task." But it shouldn't matter whether exploitation is a regular occurrence or not for it to be considered harmful. Toshiro asking Maizuru to cook him a meal still constitutes asking his female servant to perform gendered labor for him. He's also very accustomed to her grooming and dressing him.
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Maizuru sees feeding, washing, and even advising Toshiro romantically as fulfilling Toshitsugu's orders to care for his son. They aren't fulfilling a "personal request." But just because her labor has been deemed expected and thereby devalued doesn't mean that it isn't labor or that she isn't performing it.
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Maizuru's dynamic with Toshiro is also complicated by her role as his maternal figure. She loves him and wants to take care of him, and she doesn't have a choice in the matter. During Toshiro's childhood, the onus was on Toshitsugu to cease exploiting his lover and release her from servitude, but Toshiro is now an adult man. Seeing as how Maizuru defers to his wishes and calls him "Young Master," they still have a power imbalance that he's passively maintaining. Ideally, he would not ask anything of her until he has the authority to release her from servitude.
Throughout the story, Toshiro acts as if he has no agency and quietly disapproving of his father's actions absolves him of his participation in maintaining oppressive dynamics. While his father still ranks higher than him, he's essentially his father's heir. He has much more power than Maizuru, the highest-ranked servant. At the very least, he could leave his slave-owning household.
Unfortunately, his refusal to confront injustice is consistent with his character's major flaw: he does not express his opinions, desires, or needs. While this character trait obviously hurts his friendships, it also furthers his complicity in the injustices his household runs on.
Toshiro's relationship with eating food ā€” the prevailing metaphor of the series ā€” also parallels his relationship with confronting injustice. Maizuru mentions that he was a sickly child, so the act of eating may have been physically uncomfortable for him. As an adult, his refusal to eat crops up during his rescue attempt of Falin. Denying himself food might have been punishment for not accomplishing important tasks like rescuing Falin and/or a way to maintain control over something in his life when he felt like he'd lost control over the rest of it, again in the context of losing Falin. (Note: I suggest reading this post on Toshiro's disordered eating by @malaierba.)
But he cannot and does not avoid consuming food forever.
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Similarly, Toshiro keeps his distance from his retainers and tries not to use them until the Falin situation occurs. His efforts to avoid exploiting his retainers amount to inaction ā€” things he doesn't ask of them or do to them. But his inaction does nothing to dismantle the existing hierarchy that places his retainers under his authority, denies them agency, and often marginalizes them as not only servants or slaves but as women, and he ends up using them as servants and slaves anyways.
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Returning to the narrative's themes of consumption, Toshiro cannot avoid eating just as he cannot avoid perpetuating the exploitative system of his household. The Nakamoto clan consumes the labor and personhood of those lower in the hierarchy. The retainers' labor as spies and domestic servants is the foundation of the clan's existence. Thus, the clan consumes their labor to sustain itself.
Within this hierarchy, the retainers' personhood is also consumed and erased. As Izutsumi describes, they are given different names and stripped of their agency to reject orders or leave. Maizuru and Hien also say their feelings are irrelevant in the context of Toshitsugu's and Toshiro's wants and needs. Both women are expected to comply with whatever is most beneficial and comfortable for the noblemen. Clearly, despite Toshiro's detachment from his household's functions, these social structures remain in place and harm the women under him.
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Although we know the Nakamoto clan has male retainers, the choice to highlight the female retainers seems intentional. We're asked to interrogate how not only being a servant or a slave in a noble household impacts a person's life and agency, but how being a woman intersects with being a member of some of the lowest social classes.
Toshiro only distances himself from his father's behaviors of infidelity and exploitation so long as it doesn't take Toshiro out of his comfort zone. He doesn't free his slaves. He's far too comfortable with his female retainers performing domestic labor for him, and he barely acknowledges their efforts; they're shocked when he thanks them for helping him save Falin. He hasn't unpacked his sexist (or classist or racist) biases because he perpetuates his household's oppressive hierarchy throughout the narrative. Considering all of this, he inevitably brings this baggage to his interactions with Falin.
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Falin is presumably one of the first women he's had extended contact with that isn't his relative or his family's servant. Because of his trauma surrounding his father and Maizuru sleeping together, he understandably falls for a woman as disconnected as possible from his father and his clan. He seems to genuinely like Falin, respects her boundaries, and graciously accepts her rejection. His behavior towards her is overall kind and unproblematic.
But if Falin had gone with him, she would've likely been devalued and sidelined like the other women of the Nakamoto household. No matter how much he loves Falin, simply loving her cannot replace the difficult work of unlearning his sexism. Love, of course, can and should be accompanied by that work, but by the close of the narrative, we gain little indication that Toshiro acknowledges or seeks to end his part in exploiting and devaluing women and other marginalized people.
A spark of hope does exist. Toshiro expressing his feelings to Laios and Falin suggests that his time away from home has encouraged him to speak up more. Breaking his habit of avoidance may be the first step towards acknowledging his complicity in systems of injustice and moving towards dismantling them.
Special thanks to my very smart friend @atialeague for bringing up Toshitsugu's relationship with Maizuru and the replication of dynamics of consumption and class! <3
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esteemed-excellency Ā· 2 months ago
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ok i'm almost done with the new firmament chapter, i have So Many thoughts šŸ‘€
#keeping my thoughts in the tags bc it's late and this in not going to be very coherent#positive thing first: i did enjoy the lore!! i'm a sucker for lore dumps and i love to connect dots so it was a very fun read to me#that said. it was fun but also convoluted af in some points so i saved everything in the journal to analyse it#after the entirety of firmament comes out. i have Many Thoughts about the shames mention and the judgements#but i have Zero Braincells to elaborate them. they're all going in the red string board until further notice#one thing i did NOT vibe with were the christian references but you all know that about me by now#i'm just trying to appreciate the funky cosmic horror vibe here i don't need a gloria in excelsis deo reference#(i understand it conveys a specific vibe but. there are many other things that can do that)#talking from a character pov this chapter was SO PERFECT for my guy's own flavour of insanity. drowning him in violant forever >:)#also. he wasn't happy about erasing the prisoner's memories. he understood it was necessary but he didn't like to destroy them#(i ended up leaving him with Love)#speaking of the prisoner. what the fuck is going on with him. i need to study him under a microscope#(and reread everything when i have more braincells)#i'm also very glad to finally have a bit more info about the vulgate and the apocryphal realities#this chapter answered a few questions and i hope the nex one will answer even more#tldr: very cool lore even if it was Confusing AF sometimes (but we still have more chaoters to read so we'll see)#+ i love zenith so fucking much it's my favourite roof location so far!! psychic damaging memory beam city <333#anyway goodnight#fl spoilers#chitchat
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heavenb3nt Ā· 9 days ago
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On the Master and Billā€™s relationship: why he saw himself in her, and why that was the reason she had to be converted.
Bill reminds the Master of himself waiting for Theta, desperately hanging on to the hope that theyā€™d make good on the promise they made together, like Bill held onto her faith and the Doctorā€™s ā€œwait for meā€ imprinted on her mind. The Doctor has a knack for, intentionally speaking or not, getting people to trust them beyond all reason. The Master was like this once too, he knows how Bill feels - trying compartmentalise being abandoned and it being done by the Doctor, someone theyā€™ve both held very close to their hearts, someone theyā€™ve both relied on.
The Master saw her process things exactly how he did when he found out his friend was nowhere to be found, he watched the stages pass and desperation sink in, he watched her hang onto hope until the end even though she kind of knew this was it. Thatā€™s ultimately why it didnā€™t matter if he liked her, she still had to be converted.
Bill became a cyberman, a being that shouldnā€™t experience emotion. Even if that didnā€™t work with Bill, he had no way to know it wouldnā€™t. The Master himself cut off their emotions repeatedly to survive, and itā€™s not hard to believe that was brought to its extreme after the Doctor left them on Gallifrey. After all the hope had run its course and dissolved after who knows how many years, he was left with with the choice of staying vulnerable to this kind of hurt again, or ensuring it never happened again. This version of the Master had also been in Gomerā€™s Asylum before here, where the Doctor had another opportunity to somewhat prove they cared and seek the Master out and save them, that didnā€™t happen. The Master was abandoned and became all the more cold for it, Bill was abandoned and he ensured that she did too.
Iā€™d go as far as to say in some way he viewed this as helping her. While the Master is selfish and Billā€™s death was definitely for his own planā€™s benefit, I believe he likely saw it as a win win situation. He gets to further his plan, and get back a bit at the Doctor by taking away someone he cares about. However, it cuts off her emotion, and thatā€™s how the Master handled abandonment all those years ago.
To be clear, Iā€™m not saying the Master is emotionless, theyā€™re anything but. Theyā€™re impulsive and quick to run with emotions and never look back, one of the most emotional characters in the series, obsessive and resentful which both require a strong emotion. However, they donā€™t think about it like that, as longs theyā€™re not feeling sympathy or compassion thatā€™s good enough for them.
Itā€™s basically the toxic masculinity approach to emotion, he isnā€™t expressing anything that benefits anyone else, all his emotions come out as violent actions. So to them, they arenā€™t emotional. Even though they definitely are, as anger, is in fact, an emotion. My point here is to clarify that the Master is not emotionless but often views themselves as such to a varying degree per regeneration*.
So, Billā€™s a cyberman now, but that protects her doesnā€™t it? Theyā€™re stronger than humans, they canā€™t be hurt emotionally because they donā€™t feel, the cyberman are a reflection of how the Master attempts to be, Iā€™d suggest thatā€™s why he teams up with them so frequently. They see themselves in them, how they want to be, the way that would be safe. The Master is imposing their trauma response on Bill and, in his mind, protecting her from this situation happening again. He likes her, but he doesnā€™t care to the degree heā€™s willing to spare her from his plan thatā€™s already in motion, heā€™s selfish, but he is willing to twist it so he thinks Billā€™s benefiting in some bizarre way.
The Master gets to use Bill to show the Doctor in the most brutal terms that he hasnā€™t forgotten about being abandoned on Gallifrey, Missy and Saxon stand either side of Bill as she channels their exact bitterness and resent as well as her own - ā€œI waited for youā€. The Master wonā€™t say it, Missy wonā€™t even say it, itā€™s weakness, they donā€™t want to admit they care, but itā€™s obvious to the Doctor that Bill is not the only person heā€™s let down here.
The conclusion to all this is, the Master was obviously using Bill, and he wouldnā€™t deny that. In fact theyā€™d make sure to tell you way too much, they want to be seen as cruel, itā€™s safe to have people scared of you. However they also see themselves in her, her abandonment mirrors the way the Master was also abandoned, and itā€™s by the same person, the person the Master now wants to suffer. So heā€™s saving her from needing him, heā€™s helping his plan along, and he makes the person who abandoned them both suffer. He thinks this is a win by itself, making the Doctor see what happens when itā€™s too late, when you made someone wait too long.
*This attempt at a facade pretty much goes out the window when we get to Spyā€™s regeneration. He is openly pretty emotional about pretty much everything and admits to the timeless child reveal hurting him, which is kinda insane to say about someone elseā€™s trauma, but I digress. He still, and perhaps more than any other regeneration, has a visceral anger which is his main way of demonstrating emotion, but he is deliberately clear about that fact heā€™s in pain. Spy was so completely thrown by the timeless child and likely the circumstances of his regeneration (Missy killing the Lumiat) that this attempt to seem cold and calculated was just not a priority anymore. This is why Spy always looks like heā€™s about to burst into fucking tears, because he is.
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enjoyjellime Ā· 10 months ago
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Seeing that sheep design is really funny to me, cause It reminds me of when I made a crappy edit of a Wooloo x Alcremie hybrid for fun to use as a profile pic for the game Pokefarm a couple years back. I called it an "Alcwool" lol
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My Little Lulu~
(I go on a bit of a rant about Yokai Watch that gets really unrelated from Palworld pretty fast below, sorry)
But also I'm mad because of how many people are liking palworld despite how ripped off it is, like I get that it's "parody" but it genuinely confuses me because I watched Yokai Watch get torn to shreds in the west due to people calling it a "Pokemon ripoff" ..... Just for people to turn around and say palworld is awesome, and "based" and etc, etc, etc. Like???? Those guys are the reason Yokai Watch 3 is now a $300 game??? Plus Yokai Watch was actually pretty original with their Yokai designs, with the only comparisons to Pokemon being some of the folklore creature source material. (Which Pokemon also seemed to have copied Yokai Watch when they made Sun & Moon, so...)
Like I genuinely hated what happened to Yokai Watch in the west, it's actually sad.
When Yokai Watch came out in Japan it became a mass hit, like Pokemon fever in the west in the 90's, and because of that, the Pokemon Company actually had competition for once, they actually had the drive to try and make better games. Pokemon Sun & Moon + UltraSM were made during that time, and from what I can tell, a lot of people consider those games the better ones in the 3D Mainline Titles.
Because Yokai Watch was doing so well in Japan, they (Level 5) decided to bring it over to the west thinking it would do well, or at least moderately good success. But we all know how that went. The west criticized it Badly, calling it a Pokemon ripoff, calling it too goofy or cheesy, complained about the English dub, saying it had no challenge or strategy involved like Pokemon did (Which if you've played Yokai Watch 1 or 2, you know for a fact that's not true, I've yet to defeat Kat Kraydel, shits hard.) It didn't help with Nintendo's way of advertising the game, as memeable as it was.
So with stagnant sales in the west, they opted to only sell a limited amount of copies to the west, specifically the States, cause I couldn't find a copy at all here in Canada, none of our game stores had any copies. Now the only way to play it is from the Eshop(shut down) or a physical copy ($300 :/ )
Then at that time, the Yokai Watch fever in Japan was slowly calming down, and the only things out for Yokai Watch was the fourth game on switch that didn't do as well as they hoped, and a mobile game. I think the mobile game and anime were/are still going in Japan, even having crossovers with Hololive Vtubers (specifically Inugami Korone getting a cameo in one of the episodes. Korone likes Yokai Watch a lot.)
Meanwhile Pokemon Company no longer had competition and were at the top undefeated, so they no longer felt like they had to try and went on to make Sword & Shield, Diamond & Pearl remake, Scarlet & Violet etc. I heard Legends Arceus was good, and I know Pokemon Snap remake was good, but those aren't mainline titles so they don't count.
This got really long I'm sorry, I just like Yokai Watch lol. And I do like Pokemon, I just wish it didn't take them having competition to actually try with their games. Growing up with Pokemon, I started playing with Pokemon X and I stopped playing after Pokemon Sword.
Some of the palworld rig comparisons absolutely look sus but if something like this won a plagiarism lawsuit it would actually set a horrible legal precedent for artists please learn what plagiarism means and think very carefully when discussing copyright law
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tteokdoroki Ā· 1 year ago
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IF ITā€™S ONLY A TOUCHā€¦AITA? - satoru gojo.
āœ© ā€” about. ā€œbut one day, she just grew upā€¦and i havenā€™t been able to look at her the same.ā€ satoru gojo never meant to fuck his best friendā€™s little sister. he never meant to make her fall in love him. he never meant to fall in love with her. satoru doesnā€™t want anyone to know, suguru has no idea and she wants to tell the whole worldā€¦does that make him the asshole? ā€¦ ( 46.5K )
āœ© ā€” warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact! nsfw, smut, angst with a bittersweet ending. college!au, age gaps ( reader is 22, satoru gojo is 27 ), forbidden romance, toxic relationships, situationships, co-dependency ( on suguru geto ), controlling older brother, panic attacks, violence, fight scenes, arguments, alcohol mentions, smoking weed, manipulation, gaslighting, three smut scenes, spit, praise, dumbification, fingering (f!receiving), hand jobs (m!receiving), pussy jobs, dry humping, hold the moan, light!choking, light!oral-fixation, public sex, bathroom sex, clothed sex, unprotected sex, oral sex (f + m!receiving), overstimulation, orgasm control, multiple orgasms, creampies, adopted geto!reader, fem!reader.
āœ© ā€” things to note. my entry for @ohkento ā€˜s reddit collab ! iā€™d like to thank everyone for their patience with this labour of love. it was first a silly idea that blossomed into something more complex and beautiful. i love this fic so much and i hope you do too!! special thanks to @todorosie for beta reading n all your encouragement!! and to @rinhaler for the sukuna reference hehe <3 - m.list ā‹† playlist ā‹† read on ao3 ! Ö“ ą£Ŗš–¤ā‚Š āŠ¹
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AITA (27M) FOR FUCKING MY BEST FRIEND'S (26M) LITTLE SISTER (22F)? hey reddit. iā€™ll get straight into it. i met my best friend, weā€™ll call him S, when we were kids, as young as five i guess, and weā€™ve been inseparable ever since. he was there for me at my lowest, and right by my side at my highest. iā€™ve never been the greatest personā€¦but there isnā€™t anything he wouldnā€™t do for me and vice versa. thatā€™s why i feel so bad. heā€™s got this younger sister, i used to find her so annoying, but one dayā€¦ she just grew up and i havenā€™t been able to look at her the same. we started fooling around two years ago around the time sheā€™d settled into college but decided to keep it a secret from her brother. now sheā€™s graduated from college and wants to take the next stepā€¦ TLDR: weā€™ve been fucking around for two years but now sheā€™s graduated and is ready to be more serious with our relationship. she wants to tell her brother ā€” iā€™m unsure. AITA?
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coming back home after four years of brutal education, late nights studying and heavy textbooks feelsā€¦ almost comforting.Ā 
sure, youā€™ve been home for the holidays before, and sometimes between semesters when things got a little bit rough. but this time around, being home feels more like a relief ā€” an aura of permanency surrounding the occasion. at home, thereā€™s home cooked meals instead of stale take-out and the house youā€™ve been raised in smells of warm spices rather than the unpleasant combination of old beer and dorm parties.Ā 
thereā€™s peace in being at home instead of college after four long years. itā€™s rewarding almost, to know that youā€™re welcomed back into the arms of the people who love you most after years of blood, sweat and tears. youā€™ve made it. youā€™re on the other side. youā€™ve got a degree under your belt and a bright, prosperous future ahead of you.Ā 
letting out a determined huff, you throw your suitcases down onto the end of your bed ā€” pushed up against the window of your childhood bedroom. the walls are a colour you no longer like (lime greenā€¦ what were you thinking?) plastered with posters from groups you no longer listen to and movies you would only watch for comfort now that youā€™re a little bit older. nostalgia is warm under your skin as you look around at your teenage safe space, until your big doe eyes land on your sticker covered closet.Ā 
being home for just the weekend, you thought youā€™d kill two birds with one stone. unpack the clothes you no longer need at your college dorm whilst joining your parents for a celebration. they had wanted you to come down from your university town in order to commemorate the end of your degree, since theyā€™ll be abroad on business for your graduation ceremony in a few months time. not to mention, the outstanding job offer youā€™d received not long after being awardedĀ  your final marks.Ā 
your brother, suguru, would be joining you for the weekend as well. temporarily taking up space in his own childhood bedroom just across the hall ā€” the keep out sign with black and yellow restricted tape still hanging from the white wooden door. geto had long since moved out of your parents place, what with him being five years older than you. he now had a job in the city as a big shot lawyer with hardly any time for his little sister anymore. so the fact that he was making the trip down just to celebrate you meant more than you could put into words.
he hadnā€™t arrived yet, however, and your parents were busy downstairs sorting out your favourite home cooked dinner (oxtail, a favourite) to care about what you were up to ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ leaving you to unpack in comfortable solitude. you decide to start with your night clothes, the darkness of the winterā€™s evening starting to bleed into the purple painted sky. youā€™ll be sleepy soon, no doubt.Ā 
turning your back on the window, you move to set your toiletries and a fresh pair of pyjamas on the back of your desk chair ā€” hardly noticing the way the window panes creak open, accompanied by the chill of a light december breeze. the gentle tread of footsteps across your carpeted floor go without attention as well, youā€™re too occupied with sorting through your things to pay attention to anything. not until itā€™s too late.Ā 
ā€œboo!ā€
large and possessive hands on your hips make you jump in fright, relaxing only when you hear the familiar teasing baritone against the shell of your ear. ā€œdid you miss me?ā€ gojo purrs, using his hold on the flesh at your waist to spin you around to face him. your palms settle on the broad spread of his sturdy shoulders while his fingers dip into the back pocket of your low-waist jeans ā€” leaving very little room between your bodies.
ā€œsatoru!ā€ you exhale sincerely with the wisps of a smile spreading across your lips and twitching at the corner of your mouth. ā€œwhat are you doing here? when did you get back?ā€ like butter in a heated pan, you melt into the manā€™s arms, those same arms wrapping around your waist fully to pull you further into him. you feel dumb and lovestruck, tucked into the plushness of gojoā€™s chest as if youā€™d never left.Ā 
ā€œi couldn't miss my special girlā€™s special weekend, now could i?ā€ the toothy smirk satoru gives you is enough to make your knees knock and youā€™re reminded that youā€™re lucky enough to be held up in his arms. happiness simmers hotly through your veins at the thought. a million and one girls would kill to be in your position, to have a man as handsome as the satoru gojo in their bedroom, all alone, sapphire blue eyes honed in on you and only you.Ā 
heā€™s unlike any man youā€™ve ever met before. heā€™s so beautiful, not just anyone will do if it ever came to replacing him. heā€™s tall enough to tower over you, and make you feel small in a way that isnā€™t terrible at all. his hair is as white as winter frosts and unfairly soft for someone who probably doesnā€™t take as much care for it as he should. his lashes flutter against your forehead, long and to die for. satoru gojo is a beauty if you ever saw one ā€” and you find yourself grateful to keep him all to yourself. in this moment. of course.
the look he gives you itself is enough to keep you alive, make your cheeks tingle with heat just under the skin, make you feel like a schoolgirl about to give a note to her crush. but a million and one girls donā€™t have to hide their crushes or keep them secret, their relationships probably arenā€™t as complex or confusing as your own with the man before you.
things with gojo have always been weirdā€¦ever since you were young. he found you annoying and whiny, back then, he along with your adoptive brother would pick on you until your eyes were big and shiny and your nose a little snotty. in those times, suguru (who babied you too much for your own good on occasion) often followed his best friendā€™s lead, maybe because satoru was older (despite them both being five years ahead of you in age) and the more dominating personality of the two best friends. it was easy to think that he might have even despised you then, or to imagine that suguru would grow up adoring you. yet, for satoru, it all changed one summer after your eighteenth birthday, when you justā€¦ shot up. you filled out, your demeanour changed, you became everything that he ever wanted.Ā 
satoru was spoilt. he always had been, even from childhood. the gojo clan had built an empire and he was right at the heart of it as soon as he left college. the white haired man with the dazzling rows of perfect teeth had all the money and power in the world ā€” right in the palm of his dangerous hands. obtaining what he wanted was as easy as snapping his fingers, and in an instant he could have all the booze and babes he desired. whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. the issue with being a man of satoru gojoā€™s calibre is the difficulty in drawing a line in the sand and knowing when to stop. men like him have everything, but only desire what they canā€™t have.Ā 
he only desires you.
see, early on in his friendship with your brother, suguru had given satoru one plain and simple rule. one that he could never break so long as he walked godā€™s green earth and breathed fresh air into his lungs.Ā 
suguru had made him promise never to go near you, sexually or romantically.Ā 
theyā€™d known one another their entire lives, been together through thick and thin, ups and downs. if anyone knew what the real satoru gojo was really likeā€¦ it would be your brother. he had seen every arc of gojo like the phases of the moon up above. satoru was a partier, he drank until his veins were 50% alcohol and poured the bourbon until all of his organs were burned black. he smoked away his burdens, numbing his brain with whatever he could get his hands on. people, back in college, were just as disposable to gojo as his fatherā€™s income and even now, with his position at the heart of Gojo Corporations ā€” satoru was no more stable than a drowning child, struggling to keep his head above the water and air in his scarred lungs.Ā 
he was in no position to look out for you like suguru did. to the older geto, you were a prized possession and a treasure to be cherished. his innocent baby sister who was too sweet for the hard liquor gojo drank by the gallons and the papers that knew to tear him apart by name. you needed someone to rely on, someone to look out for you when the world gets tough and the rose tinted glass ceiling shatters down on you. suguru had tried his hardest to shield to growing up, becoming partly responsible for your dependence on him.Ā 
he learned how to braid your hair and cook the foods you liked before moving to japan for your adoption. when he wasnā€™t being mean to you along with satoru, suguru cared for you deeply. he was a good adoptive brother.
so, it was a wonder how you even managed to get into and go to university all on your own ā€” without your older brotherā€™s watchful eye to keep you safe from the dangers of men, sex and money.
and gojo, being gojo, was never a stickler for the rules. heā€™d innocently reached out to you once youā€™d settled into college, under the guise of checking on his best friendā€™s little sister. much to his amusement, youā€™d already broken out of the safety net your brother had cast over you ā€” you were more brazen and adventurous, sleeping around between study sessions and partying when youā€™d told your family you were tired from the weekā€™s work.Ā 
before anyone knew it, youā€™d become the college girl who liked to be wined and dined by older men ā€” presenting the perfect opportunity for satoru to sweep you off your feet.Ā 
texts to check on you every once in a while became calls to ask about your day and wish each other good morning and good night. these little things, as sweet as they might have seemed, snowballed into something bigger. something more. at least to you. you were falling in love with satoru gojo, and fast. it was the first time youā€™d ever felt like that towards someone, and heā€™d gotten you right where he wanted you.Ā 
it wasnā€™t long before you were paying off your dorm mates to keep quiet about having an older man over, no less gojo. you were naive but not stupid, it wouldnā€™t take an idiot to know that geto had people keeping an eye on you nor that money was what made the world go round ā€” people would do anything for a hefty price or designer bag. they kept their lips sealed each and every time gojo swung by your dorm to pin your knees to your ears and fuck you raw until your voice was hoarse and there was a dent in your wall from the force of his thrusts against the bed frame.Ā 
satoru had been the one to take your virginity, of course. suguru would have had an aneurism if he ever found out.
and while you loved the thrill of sneaking around with someone older, someone who seemed to know the world better than you ever could, someone who excited you ā€” there were times where you wished your heart hadnā€™t chosen the enigma that is satoru gojo. your relationship with him ruined the little time you had to explore yourself in college. he knew all of your friends, he knew all of the boys in your classes and the ones that dared to hang out with you outside of them. he sometimes paid them off to break your heart or cheat on you just so that youā€™d go running back into his arms ā€” bleary eyed and emotionally drained.
satoru knew about your every move ā€” the parties you went to and the socials you attended. you were never able to mess around with people, not with the tabs he had on you. silly little you, donā€™t you know? youā€™re satoruā€™s property.Ā 
the worst thing he could have done to you is fail to put a label on your relationship. you were never his girlfriend and he would always dance around the question like he was avoiding a bullet to the chest. ā€˜what are we?ā€™ you would ask, and like always, satoru would grin lazily and slowly ā€” in the way that brews a hazy fog over your mind and respond with. ā€˜whatever you want me to be.ā€™
what you wanted was something official. not to be satoruā€™s little pet, hidden away from the rest of the world while in private he promises you that youā€™re the only girl heā€™s ever loved. it hit hardest whenever you would go to visit him, noting anotherā€™s car in the driveway that wasnā€™t yours or satoruā€™s. you knew that you never meant muchā€¦but in actuality it was slowly killing you now. he gave you comfort, gave you warmth but whenever you woke, he was gone by the morning. thatā€™s how it always was.Ā 
a piece of you threatened to crumble each and every time your lover was plastered over the tabloids and gossip magazines with another heiress. you wanted to tell the world that you were his and he was yours. you wanted suguru to know too.Ā 
oftentimes, satoru would ease your worries with a simple toe curling and mind numbing kiss to your butter-glossed lips, uttering the words ā€˜but, wouldnā€™t that ruin our little secret?ā€™Ā 
the very secret made you feel dirty and used.Ā 
if satoru didnā€™t let you, then you could never bring yourself to tell suguru. it would break his heart, his entire soul to know that his angelic little sister was taking her eyes off of the very expensive prize of her university degree. and so, the track of your fragmented relationship (situationship?) with your mischievous white haired lover replays over and over again like a broken record ā€” scratched and scathed.Ā 
satoru comes over, you fight or cry, and he ends up balls deep inside of you ā€” creaming your little cunt in a hotel off campus or paying off your friends to spend your night in your dorm again.Ā 
when you finally graduated, you remember one of said friends asking. ā€˜will you ever go public with thatā€¦ guy youā€™re always fucking? i meanā€¦ he practically lives with you.ā€™
at the time, youā€™d pressed your lips into a thin and telling line. you couldnā€™t. you wouldnā€™t. theyā€™d laughed about it then and you knew what conclusions were running through their minds. what a dumb, naive little rich girl, for thinking she was anything more than a sidechick.Ā 
if only you could just show them the lengths satoru would go to be with you in the secrecy of your own little bubble.Ā 
like right now.
ā€œsweetheart, whereā€™d you go?ā€ cocking his head down at you, satoruā€™s sugarcoated, sickly sweet coo runs through your ears like molten sugar and drags you from the depths of deep thought. he clicks his teeth, using a thumb and forefinger to tilt your head up in order to face him ā€” positioning you like his own marionette doll. ā€œcame all this way to see you, only for you to get lost in that pretty little head of yours.ā€
itā€™s patronising, the way he speaks to you as if youā€™re a child ā€” but itā€™s all youā€™ve ever known. being babied by your lover and even your brother. ā€œs-sorry! i was justā€¦ thinkingā€¦ā€ you supply as a meek excuse, shuddering when gojo slips a thumb over the slightly cracked skin of your bottom lip. the impending winterā€™s cold had been nipping at it in his place.
ā€œabout me?ā€
you scoff playfully, begrudgingly pulling yourself from satoruā€™s grip before he makes your brain too overcast to even focus about unpacking. ā€œabout graduation. i canā€™t believe itā€™s all over.ļæ½ļæ½Ā 
returning to unfolding some casual wear left in your bag, your mind begins to wander if satoru misses you as much as you miss him whenever youā€™re not touching. your skin feels alive, teaming with life, whenever heā€™s nearby ā€” as if two magnets that couldnā€™t be more different have attracted one another instead of repelling. itā€™s like you need to be near him in order to breathe, to feel, to exist.Ā 
yourā€¦boyfriend? makes himself comfortable on your bed, trailing his index finger over the pink patterned sheets.Ā  you realise then, that youā€™ll never truly understand whatā€™s going on in his head.Ā 
ā€œi am proud of you, yanno.ā€ gojo comments casually. he man-spreads across the edge of your bed, leaning back against his elbows as if to draw your eyes to the treasure between his thick jean-clad thighs. ā€œnot every day my pretty baby graduates with honours. such a smart little girl, hm?ā€ itā€™s cruel really, how dumb he makes you out to be ā€” but in a way, it makes your insides twist and a flutter make its way up to your chest.
you shrug as if itā€™s nothing, hanging your clothes up in the closet before you return to the bedside. ā€œitā€™s a wonder i managed, ā€˜toru. you were always distracting me,ā€ memories of your illicit activities on nights before papers were due or exams were to be taken flash behind his vibrant azure eyes, and satoru grins mischievously as his strong arms snake around your waist ā€” his head pressed against your smooth tummy. ā€œi have to unpack.ā€ you remind him gently.
but then he looks up at you, like a sweet pet that begs for food, dragging you into the shining blue pools of his eyes that you can never seem to escape. and before you know it, youā€™re drowning in gojoā€™s attention once again.Ā 
ā€œdid you miss me?ā€
satoru letā€™s his fingers slide under your loose top and gives your hips a possessive squeeze, watching you with baited breath.Ā 
ā€œā€˜toru, youā€™ve asked me that already.ā€Ā 
he squeezes again, harder, the rough pads of his fingers sinking into your mid-section, all needy like. heā€™s desperate to know that you havenā€™t found anyone else. ā€œi missed you,ā€ satoru quips in place of your silence. ā€œi hate being away from you for so long, work sucks.ā€
as if he ever did any real work. satoru was just the pretty poster boy for his dadā€™s company ā€” it worked out well though, youā€™d seen the amount of zeros in his bank account yourself. ā€œiā€™ll be getting a job too, did you know that? at that big fashion editorial. you know the one, Heavenly Pact magazine. itā€™ll be in the city too so we can be closer together. itā€™s why suguru is taking us to dinner.ā€Ā 
satoru finds your gushing adorable, pulling you to stand between his legs as you go on and on.
ā€œand where dā€™ya think suguru got that idea from?ā€Ā  he coos. ā€œi had him set up a reservation at that place you likeā€¦ yanno, the one where we spent our two years. something about the sushi there. you liked it.ā€Ā 
satoru talks about the day as if you were really dating. two years. seven hundred and thirty days spent fawning over him and chasing the white haired male like a lost puppy. you couldnā€™t even call it an anniversary, not when you werenā€™t official. though, heā€™d taken the time to spoil you ā€” he dressed you in diamonds and designer, picked you up in a fancy car that probably cost more than your rent, booked out the whole restaurant and filled it with your favourite flowers. gojo had made you feel like you were special, something special to him, and as usual you fell for the smoke screens and mirrors that masked how he truly felt.Ā 
how he wanted to own every part of you.Ā 
youā€™d wanted to celebrate two years being tied to one another and he let you, because in order to take ā€” you have to give a little.Ā 
gojo somehow feels closer than before, his lips treading lightly over your supple stomach while his thumbs trace circles over your hips. you preen into his touch, love bristling in your chest and replacing the heaviness that weighs it down. ā€œyouā€™re coming?ā€Ā 
ā€œwouldnā€™t miss it for the world, baby.ā€ comes his husky, breathy whisper ā€” uttered against your warm skin like a promise of love and support. satoru presses a wet kiss just above your navel all while slyly tugging your shirt further up, distracting you from the task at hand (folding clothes).
something stirs within your lower tummy, a blistering hot sensation spreads from your core to your chest, your mind and all four of your limbs as if someoneā€™s thrown gasoline onto a fire. gojoā€™s curious silver tongue travels further ā€” tracing over the saltine droplets of sweat on your skin while he licks up to your rib cage. every twist of his pink muscle against you makes your breath catch in the ridges of your throat and your entire body wrack with a case of the shakes.Ā 
still, you continue to unpack, struggling with the items in your grip as large palms claw up your back and force you down into satoruā€™s widespread lap, not that you mind ā€” being pressed up all against him. ā€œoooh, thatā€™s cute,ā€ satoru taunts you playfully, pulling back from the love marks heā€™s painted where your breasts meet your ribs. he blinks over at the article of clothing between your nimble fingers, white flashes tickling your skin as he does so.
his scent is so overwhelming you canā€™t even think, not at all what one would expect. itā€™s fresh, almost cold to inhale, like peppermint, pine and cool air from the highest peak of the mountain.Ā 
you look down at gojo dumbly, earning yourself the sound of his melodious laughter. in response,Ā  he juts his head in the direction of your hand. ā€œyour bra, you gonna wear that for me?ā€
shifting your gaze over to the baby blue lace, you grin and toss it aside ā€” using your free hands to push satoru back against your sheets.Ā 
ā€œmaybe, if youā€™re lucky.ā€Ā 
he growls in reply, predatory and playful all at once, lifting his head, with his pool of silver-moon hair rising from your bed, to capture your lips in a slow, spit-swapping kiss. he allows you to pin his wrists above his head, barely putting up a fight as you swallow him down and devour him whole ā€” your tongues clash for dominance, slipping and sliding over one another while your hands do the same to the silver roots of his hair.Ā 
one of your hands travel down to cup his cheek, tilting gojoā€™s head up just a tad more so that you can pour more of your passion into him. the kiss becomes, in the only way that you can describe it, hurried and hungry ā€” the more of yourself you give to him, the more satoru becomes filled with your love and innermost parts of your soul. you give and give and give until his glass is full to the brim.
you grow weaker by the second, falling victim to the predatory, hot mouth of your lover and your grip on his wrists loosen just enough for his calloused fingertips to fluidly cascade down your body ā€” finding purchase in the loops of your pesky jeans, tugging them away from your marred flesh and soft ass. once heā€™s bored with toying with your clothes, the silver haired man uses his reach on your ass to push you closer, kiss you harder, grind his swelling erection into the gap between your plush thighs.
the two of you canā€™t be closer, noses knocking against one another clumsily and breath becoming scarce as your lungs ache and burn for a fresh in-take of oxygen between drooly lip locks. itā€™s messy, youā€™re both messy ā€” your relationship always has been. but in this very moment, you canā€™t find it in yourself to care, addicted to the weight of gojoā€™s tongue in your mouth and the way his smooth, glossy lips feel against your own. both of your chests heave, your bodies growing hotter and tenser each time you swirl your hips down onto him or he bucks up into you.
ā€œbaby,ā€ satoru sighs airily, twitching underneath you ā€” all restless and impatient. ā€œyouā€™re so pretty like this, onā€™topā€™a me,ā€ his crystal blue eyes have darkened to a midnight blue, almost black with a list that makes his pupils blow wide. youā€™ve seen this change too many times to be unfamiliar with what satoru wants. that very thing being you. ā€œsmoke with me a little?ā€ his plea barely covers up the low moan that escapes him as your hips jerk against him. his touch scorches through the all-too-tight denim hugging your waist, leaving burn marks at your tail bone. heā€™s desperate for this, desperate for you.Ā 
how can you say no.
your face splits into an angelic, agreeable grin. just what satoru likes to see. ā€œcā€™mon then, whereā€™s your stash?ā€ in reply, he lifts his hips higher from the bed ā€” nudging the thick outline of his cock against your sensitive clothed pussy.Ā 
ā€œsorry.ā€ he lies easily. ā€œback pocket.ā€Ā 
moving to dig around in said pocket, you pull out gojoā€™s tiny baggy of weed ā€” noting the joints heā€™d probably rolled up prior to coming here. sometimes, you had the nagging thought that your man always loved you better when you were a little bit high. you gloss over the idea, however, reaching into your nightstand nearby for your sanrio lighter while you toss gojo the bag. he picks out a blunt for you to share and you trigger the flame.
you take the joint between your lips, plumped up from all the kissing youā€™ve been doing, and let satoru wrap a bulky arm around your middle ā€” pinning you to his larger-than-yours frame. his chest is plush, warm, and you can feel your heartbeats beginning to sync up beneath your clothes. you hold the lighter to one end, bambi eyes reflecting the orange yellow flame that sets the wrapper alight and hum in content whilst you inhale.Ā 
you hold. exhale. and when the smoke clears, gojo is looking up at you as if you hold the entire universe in your gaze.
ā€œyouā€™re so fuckinā€™ pretty.ā€Ā 
that sweet giggle of yours rings out into the night air. you take a hit before you press your mouth to satoruā€™s ā€” breathing the smoke into his lungs.Ā 
youā€™re spoiling him. he knows you donā€™t really like to smoke, but youā€™re always sweetest when he gets you a little fucked up.Ā 
ā€œso youā€™ve said, ā€˜toru.ā€
he swipes the blunt from your grip and takes a drag for himself, tapping the ashes out against your sheets as he picks up the salacious motions of his hips again. and like the obedient little thing you are, you grind against him, mewling into his milky skin thatā€™s illuminated by the shy slither of moonlight that peeks on you both through your curtains.Ā 
ā€œi mean it, sweet thing,ā€ another hit, his voice even huskier from the aromatic fumes ā€” even as he gripes lowly into the shell of your ear. ā€œfuck, youā€™re so perfect like this. grinding on my lap like a needy little girl, hm?ā€Ā 
whining out for him, you let satoru stick the blunt back in your mouth and sit up ā€” bucking down on his hard, heavy erection as if youā€™re riding his cock like you usually do. ā€œsatoru,ā€ you purr while the weed begins to take residence over your brain, take its effect. you recognise that the supply is from sukuna, the older brother of a boy you knew from college. yuuji itadori, was it? youā€™d always found him cute but he had a girlfriend and gojo told you to stop worrying about him a long time ago. the very thought sparks something in the back of your mind ā€” at war with giving into satoruā€™s touch and how it makes its way underneath your clothes to thumb at your pebbling nipples. ā€œā€˜toruā€¦when are you going to tell sugu about us?ā€Ā 
the mention of your brother should be enough to kill the mood, but youā€™ve been away from gojo far too long. heā€™s already got his sights set on ruining you for some fun tonight, pushing his luck by slipping his fingers past your tight waistband in order to mess with your slick pussy folds against your panties.Ā 
ā€œdo i need to?ā€ he drawls, laughs a little, voice breaking through the thick barrier of ardour built up in his throat. ā€œsā€™not that important. telling him. weā€™re having fun, right? things are good the way they are.ā€ gojo sticks his tongue out in concentration, fumbling between layers of clothes for your cute little clit and grinning ear to ear when he finds it ā€” watching you quiver and fail to hold yourself up above him as he presses down on the nub, hard. ā€œwhat good would it do, telling him?ā€
you could think of a million reasons why, but all of them fail to rush to the forefront of your mind ā€” blocked by desire and the lingering weed in your system. ā€œiā€¦i want to mean somethinā€™ to you,ā€ comes your babyish voice, hurt and whiny through your pout. satoru takes the blunt from you, rubbing your cunt through your words as they catch in your throat. ā€œwanna be serious with you. want something more. i-iā€™m a proper adult nowā€¦ i deserve ā€” oh fuck!ā€Ā 
you donā€™t even know why you bring the fact up. that youā€™re an adult, that youā€™re grown now. because youā€™re still a naive little thing who wants so much more from someone older and more experienced. because youā€™re still suguruā€™s younger sister to satoru, not his girlfriend. just his forbidden plaything.Ā 
satoru smiles wickedly again as you fail to express yourself, becoming a pliant sticky mess all over his fingers while their tips graze your clit over and over again in rough circles. ā€œā€˜m sure you are, my big girl yeah?ā€ heā€™s so cruel to you, talking down on you while he plays your sopping mound like a fiddle. pinching and pulling at your folds and your poor little clit. ā€œyouā€™re so close, arenā€™t you? think you might cum from a coupleā€™a fingers ā€˜n a bit of weedā€¦ā€Ā 
heat brews under the surface of your skin, most hot at the centre of your face where you start to feel humiliated and embarrassed. even more so because you like it, when the silver haired man is mean to you like this. ā€œsatoruā€¦t-thatā€™s not what i meantā€”ā€œ you try, gushing and crying. ā€œs-satoru iā€™m g-gonnaā€”!ā€Ā 
knock, knock, knock.
ā€œhey little one, iā€™m home!ā€Ā 
the pair of you jump apart at the smooth sound of suguruā€™s calm and timbre voice.Ā 
itā€™s like a shock to your system, like being doused with cold water or waking up from a hangover after one too many shots. with wild eyes you look from your half-hard boyfriend to the open window ā€” immediately shoving up and pulling his hands from your pants. ā€œg-get up!ā€ Ā you seethe, teeth and tongue, all of your syllables rushed.Ā 
ā€œwas that suguru?ā€ gojo asks, voice elevated with panic while he puts the blunt out against your windowsill.Ā 
you nod vigorously, using your shaky limbs to push satoru back out the way he came. ā€œyes! now go!ā€Ā 
ā€œhey, little one? itā€™s me, suguru..ā€
he scrambles to climb back out the window and you lean over the edge to watch him go ā€” accepting the chaste kiss he gives you on the way out. the second that gojo is out of view, you chuck the half-smoked joint into your trash can and kick the rest of sukunaā€™s supply underneath your bed to cover up the evidence.
ā€œc-come in!ā€ you finally squeak, putting on your best smile for your adoptive older brother.Ā 
your bedroom door swings open, revealing a tired suguru with tousled clothes and sleepy dark eyes. he looks older, maturer, but heā€™s still the same brother you love and grew up with. ā€œthereā€™s my little princess,ā€ he cheers, tying back the dark tresses of his (much) longer hair before he opens his arms wide to give you a hug.Ā 
you quickly accept, nuzzling your cheek against suguruā€™s firm shoulder (also wiping your tears on him). ā€œsugu! when did you get back?ā€Ā 
ā€œnot too long ago. i tried calling, but you didnā€™t pick up.ā€ his voice is laced with suspicion and you swear you hear him sniff the air from above your head ā€” close to catching the traces of weed on you.Ā 
ā€œi wasā€¦ unpacking!ā€ stepping back, you stumble over to your toiletries that youā€™d begun to unpack earlier and eagerly (a little too eagerly) spritz some of your expensive perfume into the air. ā€œs-sorry! iā€™m the thinking of wearing this scent to dinner on sundayā€¦any thoughts?ā€
you swear you hear gojo groan from outside, no doubt listening in on your conversation with his best friend and your older brother ā€” no doubt finding your excuse flimsily and unbelievable. suguru, despite it all, takes the bait or chooses not to bite any further ā€” his eyes no longer narrowed and his face relaxed.Ā 
ā€œspeaking of things to wear for sunday nightā€¦ā€ he begins, digging deep into his left pocket for a small red velvet box. ā€œi got you a little something, asā€¦congrats for all of your hard work recently.ā€Ā 
suguru reaches forward to take your hand in his, turning it over so that he can place the box in the centre of your palm. you glance up at your older brother hesitantly, but he only gives you a warm reassuring smile ā€” gesturing for you to open it.
you do we told, the box creaking open at his hinges to reveal a real diamond necklace with a beautiful, dazzling sapphire pendant at its centre. just by looking it at it, you know that the sapphire and silver combination will contrast decadently against the deep, sun-kissed tones of your skin.
ā€œo-oh sugu, you shouldnā€™t have!ā€
ā€œbut i did, think of it as my parting gift to you.ā€ the older geto sibling explains kindly. ā€œyouā€™re going out into the world to do something special, to help people. you deserve to be spoiled before you get there.ā€ his gentle hands close the box for you, setting it aside on your dresser before suguru links your fingers ā€” staring down at you wistfully. ā€œeverything out there is dangerous. people will try to take advantage of you and your kindness. but like gem stone in hard shell rock, you must preserve that little shine of yoursā€¦ā€ you let him brush at a dry tear mark on your cheek, your fingers slipping down to his wrist to hold them tight. ā€œi will always be here to look out for you, no matter what. but i wonā€™t always be able to be by your side.ā€Ā 
the seriousness of the conversation overwhelms you with a weighty guilt. suguru has always looked after you and done his best to keep you away from any harm. you imagine that satoru would be right in how destroyed your brother would feel after finding out you ran into the arms of the biggest danger of all.Ā 
his best friend.Ā 
so you suck it up, mask your guilt and press a kiss to your brotherā€™s cheek ā€” hoping that heā€™ll forgive you if the truth ever surfaces.Ā 
ā€œi know, thank you sugu,ā€ comes your simple, appreciative reply. ā€œiā€™ll always have you, and satoru too.ā€
he laughs and kisses your forehead ā€œthat you will. but donā€™t get too close to him okay? heā€™s trouble. i wouldnā€™t want him to mess things up for you.ā€Ā 
ā€œi know, suguru.ā€Ā 
the exchange is left at that, with suguru patting your shoulder as he bids you a goodnight. your entire body sags with relief once heā€™s gone, similar to that of a snake shedding its skin. you canā€™t keep lying to him like this but you donā€™t want to break his heart. maybe satoru was right. maybe you were wrong. either way, you feel conflicted and torn between two.
when you go to close the window, satoru is still waiting for you ā€” safely on the ground below. his blue eyes beg to come back inside, to be with you, but youā€™ve danced with the devil too much tonight. gojo wonā€™t take you seriously. he might ruin things for you, just like your brother said.Ā 
ā€œcall me when you get home safe, okay?ā€ you murmur to him in order to make sure you donā€™t get caught.Ā 
you latch your window closed right after, not even bothering to wait for gojoā€™s reply.Ā 
either youā€™ll keep sneaking around with him or youā€™ll eventually give him up, but for tonight ā€” you decide that youā€™ll just shut the silver snake out.
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ā€œiā€™ve never known you to like the colour blue so much.ā€Ā 
the day before your fancy and celebratory dinner ā€” suguru geto decided that his spoiled little sister isn't quite spoiled enough. growing up, heā€™d bring you toys from his shitty part time job at the department store on weekends or food from the chefā€™s at satoruā€™s place after hanging out with that loser all day.Ā 
in college, it would be magnets or posters or big, surprisingly well-made hoodies from the campus gift shop because suguru would always tell you that his little one would be going to university too ā€” that youā€™d do him proud and achieve big things. you were destined for so much more and had every ounce of support in your corner. from your brother, your parentsā€¦thereā€™s always been a pressure on your shoulder to make something of yourself, become someone worthy of their support.Ā 
by the time suguru had graduated and landed his own job ā€” the little gifts heā€™d gotten you became pricier and more luxurious. your brother had called them items of encouragement, a taste of what was to come once you made it out into the real world. not that he would actually ever let you spend a dime of your own, big brothers were supposed to be there for sweet little sisters like you to fall back on. he wanted you to know that he would always have you covered, have you spoiled with everything youā€™d ever wanted ā€” mostly to keep your standards high, ensuring that you never settled for anything less than what your older sibling could provide you with.Ā 
thatā€™s how days like today first came about ā€” you called it sibling bonding time.Ā 
first on the agenda was breakfast at the humble little bakery your parents often treated you both to after a batch of good grades at school. it wasnā€™t too far from the house and you use the walk to catch up, bouncing excitedly by your brotherā€™s side while he gushed to you about highly classified information from his line of work. there was always something to admire about suguru, how dedicated he was to keeping you safe and making a name for himself outside of the shelter of your home.Ā 
in some ways, you wanted to be just like him. it could've been that you admired suguru too much or leaned on him even more. interdependency as some would call it.Ā 
that didnā€™t matter to you though, your relationship with your brother has always been precious to you and thatā€™s all that matters.Ā 
the rest of your early morning was spent with a pampering session, manicures, and pedicures and makeup testing ā€” even a trip to the hair stylist who happily braided your bountiful curls into your favourite look.Ā 
next, was a late afternoon shopping spree. suguru drives you into the fanciest mall he can think of to spend the day. the elitist of the elite. designer stores were plotted at every corner, stocked to the brim with luxury goods that wouldnā€™t even put a dent in your brotherā€™s salary nowadays. if you wanted it, you got it ā€” without a word or question against you. suguru let you fill your basket with a purse and bag for the evening ahead, and right now, the last thing on your agenda would be the perfect dress to wear to your dinner.
thatā€™s what had brought you to this very moment, the one where you completely blank on your brother because heā€™s noticed something different about you.Ā 
something akin to a nuisance of a crush on gojo satoru.
blinking once, you turn on your heel to face suguru and snap out of your distant thoughts. ā€œi-iā€™m sorry, what was that?ā€
the older, raven haired man smiles at you as if youā€™re being silly ā€” as though there arenā€™t any thoughts up in that pretty little head of yours. ā€œi said, youā€™ve grown awfully fond of the colour blue recently.ā€ he keeps his voice soft and comforting while speaking to you, avoiding any accusatory tones that might set his sensitive younger sister off. ā€œitā€™s not even your favourite colour.ā€ geto adds, approaching you by the clothes rack in what seems to be your fifth designer fashion store.Ā 
you may be spoilt but at least you have taste ā€” the number of zeroes on the price tag was never an issue for your brother anyway.
he gestures down at the items folded over your crossed arms ā€” the ones you wanted to take to the back and try on. heat flashes under the surface of your skin when you realise suguru is in fact right. thereā€™s a plethora of fabric bundled in your arms with only one thing in common.Ā 
they all share the shade of a baby powder blue.Ā 
itā€™s the type of blue that reminds you of the sky on days where the weather is just right ā€” when the sun is able to pierce through the veil of fluffy white clouds and shine down on you. the type of blue that hides behind lilac and orange when the sun rises at dawn. the type of blue that sometimes reminds you of clear winter skies after snowfall and drawing shapes in your condensed breath on the glass.Ā 
itā€™s the type of blue akin to satoru gojoā€™s brilliant eyes ā€” the ones that look as though they hold unseen stars or undiscovered galaxies, the secrets of the universe yet to be known by mankind. oh those eyes, theyā€™re so dreamy that you could get lost in them for a milenia and never be bored.Ā 
to anyone who knows about the two of you ā€” it would make sense for blue to have become one of your favourite colours. it is the embodiment of satoru, everything down to loving him is blue, and bleak and beautiful all at once.Ā 
yet, suguru could never know that. it would ruin everything.Ā 
ā€œi justā€¦i just think itā€™s pretty!ā€ internally, you feel yourself cringe and the weak excuse ā€” threading your fingers through the dresses in your hold. ā€œdonā€™t you think the colour would like nice on me, sugu? if not, i can put them backā€”ā€œ
your older brother grabs at your wrist before you can even think to commit such an action ā€” stopping you from putting anything back onto the clothes rack. ā€œyouā€™d look pretty in anything you wore, little one.ā€ he lets out a nervous chuckle, moving to pet your head softly. ā€œi just imagined you in something a little moreā€”ā€œ
ā€œblue. itā€™s perfect ā€” isnā€™t it? it matches my pendant tooā€¦ā€ spinning around to face your brother, you hold a beautiful cupcake styled tulle dress to suguruā€™s gaze, and dawn over its gemstone sweetheart necklace that has a twinkle bright enough to rival satoruā€™s eyes. you wonder how heā€™ll look at you once he sees it on you, contrasting perfectly with your warm complexion. a secret, not so innocent part of you hopes that satoru will just rip it off of you. the other, wishes youā€™d calm down and behave.
suguru offers you a wavering smile, before relenting. ā€œif thatā€™s what you want, sweetheart.ā€ he hums, gesturing towards the fitting rooms. ā€œhow about you try it on, see how it looks?ā€Ā 
nodding your head, you shove your discarded choices into his arms and disappear into a booth ā€” excited to see how the article of clothing looks on you. you strip easily, kicking off your jeans while suguru wanders around impatiently outside.Ā 
ā€œsoā€¦is it a boy that youā€™re wearing this for?ā€ comes his deep voice through the curtains, lifted in tone only by its teasing lilt.Ā 
when you were younger, you would always gush to suguru about your crushes ā€” whether he cared or not, your excited and love-struck musings always struck his ear. you remember being in his room while he studied or gamed, tucked into his side or braiding his luscious black hair while telling him all about how much you loved this one boy in your class. suguru would tell you to mind your heart and keep her safe, a boy who couldnā€™t buy you diamonds and make you laugh wasnā€™t the right boy for you.
you would hate to hear what he thinks about gojo then. a man who buys you diamonds, makes you laugh, fucks you good and breaks your heart all at once.
hugging your discarded t-shirt to your chest as if to protect the beating organ, you frown. ā€œit isnā€™t! why would i dress pretty for some boy?ā€
ā€œgood. boys are dangerous,ā€ clothing ruffles over the sound of suguruā€™s voice as he reminds you of the lesson heā€™s taught you many times over the years. trust no man, except for your brother. ā€œi wonā€™t always be here to keep an eye on you or keep you out of said danger. so justā€¦focus on making a name for yourself. especially after youā€™ve worked so hard to graduate from uni.ā€
you scoff and grab the dress ā€” debating whether or not you should step into it or pull it over your head. ā€œiā€™m not a child anymore, sugu. i donā€™t need you to watch out for meā€¦ iā€™m old enough to make my own choices. iā€™m responsible too.ā€Ā 
he watches your feet peek out from under the curtains as you mess with the dress and attempt to pull it on. getoā€™s senses jump to high alert listening to you struggle and shuffle to pull it over your head, resisting the urge to jump in and help you. ā€œdonā€™t pull it over your head when youā€™ve just gotten your hair done,ā€ he grumbles in light annoyance. ā€œstep into it, little one.ā€Ā 
ā€œyeah, i got it!ā€ comes your snappy voice in return while you readjust and try again.Ā 
suguru leans against the nearest wall, crossing his arms over his chest ā€” he slips into silence as you slip into your dress. ā€œi know you do, youā€™re a smart girl.ā€ you get the feeling heā€™s not talking about how you try it on anymore, and your stomach turns as you adjust the skirts. ā€œbut that doesnā€™t mean i donā€™t worry. once you lose your focus, everything comes crashing down. thatā€™s what happened to satoru. i wouldnā€™t want you to end up like him.ā€Ā 
again, your tummy lurches in the worst of ways at the mention of gojo and how much geto hates the idea of the two of you ever getting together. sure, satoru was childish and irresponsible ā€” refuting the orders of the higher ups in his familyā€¦ he could be disappointing at times too, with questionable loyalty. yet sometimesā€¦ sometimes satoru could be so good and stable, oftentimes reminding you of why you wanted to be with him in the first place.Ā 
he is special to you, in so many ways that is beyond the web of human comprehension. you love satoru gojo so much that your lungs burn with the need for air whenever heā€™s not around for you to breathe in.Ā 
the idea of not having him around often because of your brother is like oxygen deprivation itself.
ā€œsatoru isnā€™t that bad.ā€ you counter, toying with the beading at your neckline while you inspect yourself in the mirror. he would love it on you. ā€œdonā€™t you think youā€™re being a little harsh on him? he is your best friend after all.ā€ it takes your all not to bust out and tell your brother all about your relationship with said best friend, even if it kills him and ruins the rose tinted glass above his head.
pushing the curtains open you step out just as geto starts to scold you again. ā€œsatoru gojo is lazy and hardly competent, he wouldnā€™t be right for you and you know thatā€” oh.ā€
he stops speaking when you step out to show him the dress, your eye bright and doe-like, almost pleading ā€” while the fabric sticks to all the right curves, making you look stunning. making you appear more mature. ā€œhelp me do the zip fā€™me, suguru? i canā€™t reach.ā€Ā 
ā€œcome here, iā€™ve got you,ā€ suguru whispers in quiet awe, turning you gently by the shoulders to do the honours of zipping you in at the low back of the dress. ā€œyou look perfect, give me a twirl, hm, little one?ā€
twirling as told, suguru watches proudly as your skirts flail about the place ā€” itā€™s sparkle catching on the UV light up above. youā€™re the perfect angelic picture of his little sisterā€¦he doesnā€™t know how heā€™ll ever let you go.Ā 
thereā€™s still a pout on your lips undoubtedly from what heā€™s said about gojo and as much as suguru finds your defensiveness for him weird ā€” he hates seeing you upset just as much. ā€œhey, how about we go pay for your dressā€¦ā€ he calls your name and you tilt your head up just a touch, giving your brother your attention unwillingly. ā€œand since weā€™re here at the shopping centre, we might as well get dinner. my treat? iā€™ll get you some of your favourites. perhaps boba and weā€™ll stop by the stuffed animal store on the way outā€”ā€œ suguru trails off to see if youā€™ve taken his snare and got stuck in his trap, he knows you canā€™t resist being spoiled at the end of the day.Ā 
you nod faster than your pretty little head can catch up. ā€œsounds like a plan, sugu!ā€Ā 
ā€œi knew youā€™d say yes,ā€ he snickers proudly, petting your head softly for the second time that late afternoon. then, geto carefully nudges you back into the changing room, patiently waiting for you to remove the dress so he can pay for it while you switch clothes. ā€œi think you made a good choice today. with the dress,ā€ he adds, drawing the curtains for you kindly. ā€œwho knows, maybe satoru will even take his head out of his ass to pay you a compliment, admire the colour. heā€™ll like it for sure.ā€Ā 
you flinch behind the curtains when they close, trying to keep your voice even. ā€œi-i canā€™t say iā€™m hoping for it!ā€ to which suguru laughs heartily, accepting the dress as you chuck it out to him.Ā 
but what youā€™re really hoping for, is for him to not connect the dots.Ā 
to not find out about yourself and gojo until youā€™re ready for him too.
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the first rule of a situationship, is to never answer the phone after the first ring. that's rule number one for satoru gojo.
it gives the girl the impression that youā€™re interested in something more than just fooling around, that you want more than the benefits of a relationship while sticking to the talking stage.
but gojo has never been one to follow the rules, not even ones he sets for himselfā€¦because when you call, he answers in a heartbeat ā€” just to hear your sweet little voice relaying his name over your tongue and the way you giggle like a darling when he compliments you.Ā 
satoru gojo likes you a lot more than he lets on, he misses you even more so. thatā€™s why he answers on the first ring, practically kicking his feet in his king sized bedĀ  ā€” he hasnā€™t heard you say his name since the night you kicked him out, and for good reasons too.Ā 
hiding his presence from suguru.Ā 
ā€œhi ā€˜toru.ā€
ā€œhi gorgeous,ā€ you can practically hear your loverā€™s smile through the crackling static over the line. ā€œmissed you,ā€ gojo slurs lightly, of course, is high by no means other than sukunaā€™s supply of the good stuff ā€” inhaling it leisurely through a nicely rolled joint while he listens to you call out for him. your voice is so invitingā€¦ so angelicā€¦ and if satoru shuts his pretty eyes and tries hard enough, he can just about imagine the way youā€™d sigh for him as his fingers slip right inside of your sweet little pussyā€”
ā€œi almost told sugu about us today.ā€Ā 
that makes satoru jump upright, choking on a deep inhale of cannabis tainted smoke. his lungs ache from trying to recover and the pain spreads to his toned thighs when heā€™s realised that heā€™s dropped the roll up in shock, the lit end burning through the grey sweatpants he wears. ā€œfuck. shitā€¦ that hurts. idiot.ā€ the silver haired man curses to himself, forgetting youā€™re still on the line.
ā€œwho me?ā€ you simper a little on the sad side, seemingly shifting in your own bed.
satoru instantly picks up on the pouty twinge to your voice and if he hadnā€™t been burning to death (dramatic much?) he knows that his cock would have twitched to life between his legs at the dulcet sound. ā€œfuck baby, no not you,ā€ he says, words rushing from his mouth as he reassures you. ā€œwhy would you tell him? did he figure us out?ā€
you hesitate with your next words. ā€œw-well, umā€¦not exactlyā€¦ā€
ā€œcome on baby, you can say it. sā€™just me, satoru,ā€ gojo goads you with a condescending echo to each of his words, not putting too much pressure on your sweet and empty little head. ā€œdonā€™t think too much. just be good and tell me.ā€Ā 
while he waits, the man fumbles his way out of bed and stands ā€” somehow managing to tuck his splif between slightly chapped and pale pink lips. he tugs off his shirt, suddenly feeling too hot under the collar, and stalks his way over to his large, wide windows ā€” looking down onto the bustling city below.Ā 
itā€™s kind of funny, how noisy it is down there, creating almost as much of a ruckus as the racing thoughts in satoruā€™s brain.Ā 
ā€œi wanted to tell himā€¦because suguru doesnā€™t think that you deserve me.ā€ you finally say, submissively telling gojo whatā€™s on your mind. it hurts like a bitch to hear, it stings at every unresolved trauma and open wound that he has ā€” not because itā€™s a lie, but because gojo doesnā€™t want to accept that reality.Ā 
a reality where he canā€™t have you, because he could never be someone who meets his best friendā€™s standards and expectations for you.Ā 
be someone that you deserve.Ā 
gojo exhales the smoke through his nose, letting it sting at his nostrils while he decays from the inside out. if this were any other drug heā€™d have smokers lungs by age twenty-seven. ā€œwell ainā€™t that the truth.ā€ he mumbles, grim.Ā 
ā€œnow satoru, why would you say that?ā€ you sound like youā€™re about to cry.
ā€œbecause, itā€™s not far off is it?ā€ gojo really doesnā€™t mean to snap. after all, he is high, and this topic could have him spiralling into a really bad trip ā€” but itā€™s not your fault that you love him, that you want him so bad youā€™d deny all of your brotherā€™s wishes. thatā€™s on him ā€” he made you that way, and these are simply the consequences of his own action. ā€œfuckā€¦ baby. sweetheart, you know you shouldnā€™t even be with me,ā€ he starts, tucking his blunt between two fingers while running the same hand through his moonlight-kissed hair. ā€œiā€™m way older than you, iā€™m hardly ever serious about you when i should be like you wantā€¦and hell, your brother sure as fuck doesnā€™t want me near you. you deserve better, and thatā€™s the truth.ā€Ā 
he hates saying all that shit to you, projecting his insecurities and inability to properly love someone onto the girl he lovesā€¦but gojo does it anyway, as if he canā€™t control the acid in his stomach ā€” throwing it up everywhere or otherwise itā€™ll burn him from the inside out.Ā 
ā€œbut i donā€™t want betterā€¦i want you.ā€ comes your quiet sob, so tiny and pathetic. satoru resents himself for making you that way ā€” pale white lashes fluttering shut and locking away his murky ocean blue eyes. he tries to picture you happier, instead of crying over the call like you are right now.Ā 
ā€œi wantā€¦ i want you too.ā€Ā 
ā€œthenā€¦then letā€™s tell him! together! heā€™s my brotherā€¦ and youā€™re his best best friend. he might understand, if you prove to him that this is what you want. that iā€™m what you want.ā€ you're perkier when you speak again, and satoru (still high as a kite) wonders if heā€™d said that just to appease you or if he really meant it.Ā 
a drunk manā€™s words are a sober manā€™s thoughts.Ā 
except gojo isnā€™t drunk.Ā 
he will admit, heā€™s pictured the day where you both come clean to the older geto sibling almost a million times. in his mind, satoruā€™s seen every reaction and emotion possible play out of his best friendā€™s face ā€” heā€™s seen them in real life too. yet, the only prevalent expression on suguru getoā€™s face when anyone ever spoke of you in a nasty manner.. was red hot rage.Ā 
suguru would become another man, one who wasnā€™t afraid of murder, whenever it came down to you. countless individuals over the years had tried and failed at winning your favour from suguru ā€” as if you were a princess in a castle. each one of them would regret trying for the rest of their lives.Ā 
and each time you remained none the wiser to how bad suguru really was and the lengths heā€™d go to keep you his innocent little sister.Ā 
gojo didnā€™t want that for himself, to face the wrath of his best friend.Ā 
but maybe he could try to withstand it, for you.Ā 
the girl he might actually love, after all.Ā 
ā€œwe can tryā€¦iā€™ll try for you.ā€ he mutters quietly over the line after sometime. satoru sounds neither hopeful or hopeless, but either way it does the trick for you. you laugh for him, airily and bubbly, it makes the man smile around the blunt resting between his rows of perfect teeth. your happiness is enough to be his happiness.Ā 
he wished he allowed himself to feel that way about you more.Ā 
ā€œand i for you, ā€˜toru. weā€™ll be together openly someday.ā€ you gush.Ā 
the two of you chat for a little while longer until you adorably fall asleep on gojo and his blunt finally endsā€¦but by the end of it, he canā€™t help but get this sinking feeling. where anxiety fills the cavity in satoruā€™s chest and drowns his optimistic heart in worry ā€” slowing down its steady beat.
things wonā€™t be as happy as he wants them to be.Ā 
and he doesnā€™t quite have the heart or guts to tell you that.Ā 
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satoru gojo has always been afraid of love.Ā 
itā€™s not an emotion that comes easy to him ā€” like the second nature of most human beings. thereā€™s no innate need to love someone for satoru, thereā€™s no urge to be tender or to hold someone in high regard because of the way he feels about them. love is not something thatā€™s bound to his DNA or feeling heā€™s known since his very conception. or perhaps it was the environment in which he was raised, the way that his father was never home and his mother was always crying ā€” her choked sobs only increasing in severity when she cast her gaze upon her only child.Ā 
that white hair and those blue eyes reminded her way too much of the man who couldnā€™t love her back.Ā 
perhaps thatā€™s why heā€™s afraid to open up his heart, bordering up with layers of concrete and brick to protect it from the harsh reality of the world. the organ beats, it pumps blood around his body and keeps satoru alive ā€” but it doesnā€™t carry an ounce of love. itā€™s as if heā€™s incapable. all he feels is resentment, towards his father and towards his mother ā€” towards the people who did nothing but try to show him that he was worthy of warmth and intimacy.Ā 
he hates them because he doesnā€™t deserve it. satoru is nothing but a cold husk of a human being, a shell long since abandoned by its owner or inhabitant. thereā€™s nothing to care for behind the walls of human flesh and tissue, no open heart to hold between oneā€™s fingers with the promise of keeping it safe. satoru gojo doesnā€™t love because heā€™s afraid and it makes him feel like he canā€™t.Ā 
the people who love you always leave. to gojo, thatā€™s a proven fact. his memories tied the emotion are never fond ā€” his mother left him for a better life and better family with another man. his father left him for the company and late nights at work, a glass of brandy in his right hand. all satoru knew growing up was the cold, empty silence of his childhood home that should have been filled with happiness, laughter and warmth.Ā 
the people who love you are supposed to come back. for gojo, no one ever did. no one cradled him when he cried, no one held his hand through the scariest moments of his life. no one came back for him.Ā 
how could a man like that ever learn to love someone outside of himself?Ā 
how could a man like him make anyone happy?Ā 
satoru thinks that he would be a miserable addition to anyoneā€™s life, a thick smog that hides the brightness from the world and blocks out any sunshine. no one around him deserves to be happy, itā€™s why he so selfishly and recklessly tears them apart in front of the media or acts rebellious to tarnish his familyā€™s infamous reputation. his actions have no consequences, he hurts no one he loves because he loves no one.Ā 
no one except forā€¦Ā 
ā€œmaster satoru,ā€ the matured voice of his personal driver interrupts the deep pool of thoughts gojo drowns in. ā€œwe may be slightly late for dinner with the getos. with your permission, perhaps i can make a detour? itā€™s not the safest route in town but it would get us there fasterā€”ā€œĀ 
no one except for you.
satoru sits up straight in the back seat of his expensive, sleek black car as if heā€™s been hit with the realisation that you exist. that youā€™re still here and still made to be loved. the man doesnā€™t believe in soulmates, or red strings of fate or happily ever afterā€™s, yet ā€” in the short two years that heā€™s been fooling around with you, satoru has somehow managed to fall deeply and irrevocably in love with you.Ā 
by all means, it doesnā€™t show ā€” hell, you probably donā€™t even know how satoru really feels about you. heā€™s terrible at being genuine and hides behind a porcelain mask that only shows you the worst parts of him, that the entire world takes pleasure in seeingā€¦but itā€™s true. he loves you. against all odds, the very feeling has managed to take root in the white haired rich boyā€™s chest, like the smallest flower blooming in the harshest of tundras. thereā€™s something satoru didnā€™t know, that love has resistance, and no matter how hard he tries to act like he doesnā€™t ā€” it will always find a way to thrive.
satoru might love you so much it makes him physically sick ā€” one look at you and heā€™s rendered weak in the knees and short of breath. youā€™ve got a smile full of sunshine that warms satoru even with the bone chilling air outside. your eyes are enticing, deep pools of chocolate and hazel notes that drag him in like a fish on a line. your lashes are always soft against his skin, long enough to rival his even though you comment about how much you adore his every time youā€™re together.Ā 
youā€™ve got the man under a fucking spell and heā€™s not sure he ever wants it to be broken. at first, you were just something sweet to snack on, someone that gojo couldnā€™t have which only made him want you more. youā€™d be his pet ā€” nothing more. heā€™d keep you at arms length until he was bored and could toss you away. however, over time, gojoā€™s want grew to love and even now, youā€™ve no clue how much you affect him, he regrets not showing that to you more.
he still treats you like youā€™re a child, a naive little thing because heā€™s terrified of opening up to you, frightened by the mere thought of you running for the high hills once you see what the man who loves you is really like.Ā 
satoru takes to adjusting his tie as the car switches lanes into a less polluted route ā€” avoiding the evening traffic so that he can get to the destination faster. for some reason, anxiety spikes gojoā€™s blood stream with nervous hormones clinging to each red cell. the car becomes too enclosed, too compacted and the dark night outside doesnā€™t help him much either ā€” itā€™s as if heā€™s lost in the void of space trapped with his own feelings.Ā 
his tongue darts out to wet the seal of his pink lips and his twitching fingers pull at the stupid necktie his PA had picked out for him tonight. thereā€™s one thing that heā€™s forgetting, one thing thatā€™s worse than loving you ā€” a guilt that sneaks up on gojo when heā€™s truly alone with his riveting thoughts.
the man lets out a shuddering breath. ā€œfuck. me.ā€ he says quietly, the two words colourful on his tongue.
thereā€™s suguru too.
and the betrayal heā€™ll feel when he finally realises that satoru gojo is fucking his little sister.
gojo loves getou. though itā€™s a different kind of love in comparison to what he wants to share with you. itā€™s brotherly. friendly. and it goes back years beyond the situationship the white haired man has trapped you in. it would absolutely kill your brother if he ever found out, ruining the supposedly unbreakable bond theyā€™ve developed over the time that theyā€™ve known each other.Ā 
a flash of pain flashes across gojoā€™s chest as if heā€™s been slashed with a knife ā€” he grips the car handle tight, his knuckles turning white with how forceful his grip is. you and suguru are all that he has. the only family who ever truly cared for him and treated him like their own. of course his selfish actions and self-centred mindset would find a way to come between you both. he would be sure to kill the delicate sibling bond you have, satoru is an asshole like that.
itā€™s why he can never tell suguru about the fooling around youā€™ve done over the last two years ā€” he would lose his one and only best friend. in the same breath, he could lose you too. youā€™re a smart girl, youā€™ll learn to leave him eventually and spread your own wings with pride.
the both of you were better off without him.Ā 
satoru was nothing but a chaotic storm that left nothing but wreck and destruction in its wake. it was an absolute guarantee that he would tear the two of you apart, create more than surface level crack in the crust of the world you two have created together. heā€™s just no good, nothing good ever comes of him.Ā 
but the love he has for you, building in slow stacks between the gaps in his rib cage, is addictive ā€” much like that buzz from weed or the stale taste of a cigarette on his tongue. heā€™ll never have enough of you, and that very fact is what makes satoru gojo the most vile human heā€™s ever known.Ā 
heā€™d rather die than give you up. rather tear you apart from your brother than let you go.
the admission to himself makes the play boyā€™s stomach turn and twist wrongly, the air in his lungs turning bitter and clogging up his throat. gojoā€™s hand slams against the door of his car, fumbling to wind down the window and feel the cool bite of cold against his skin.Ā 
ā€œp-pull over,ā€Ā  satoru whispers, more so to himself in the back of the vehicle than to anyone else. his nails dig into the rough skin on his palms, and the blood rushes through his ears ā€” louder and louder. painfully so.Ā 
the driver looks to his master in the rear view mirror ā€” concern sketched upon his features. ā€œbut master satoru, weā€™re just a few minutes awayā€”ā€œĀ 
ā€œi said, fucking pull over!ā€ gojo damn near screams in reply, throwing a piercing blue gaze at his poor driver. his head throbs heavily with guilt so by the time the car comes to a screeching halt, satoruā€™s close to throwing up on the sidewalk. ā€œs-shit.ā€
the bile tastes like soured guilt in his mouth ā€” but nothing comes. heā€™s sure he looks like a fool, half hanging out of his mercedes, pale as the silvering moon with the indication thatĀ  heā€™s going to be sick.Ā 
ā€œsatoru,ā€ his driver speaks to him tenderly, like a loving father would to his child. a comfort gojo never had the luxury of. ā€œitā€™s not too late to go back home, i can have one of the maids ring suguru to let him know you wonā€™t be in attendance. you donā€™t look your best.ā€Ā 
the white haired manā€™s ragged breaths as he stands hands on knees in the middle of the road accompany the late night ambience ā€” rushing cars and sirens, heels clattering against concrete pavement and groups of people laughing away. the sounds ring loud in his ear, overloading gojo and his guilty conscience until thereā€™s a warm hand on his shoulder.Ā 
his driver, reassuring him once again.Ā 
ā€œitā€™s okay, satoru. just breathe.ā€Ā 
the statement somehow brings him back to present day, along with a heavy breath of frosty air. his driver rubs his back in smooth circles until satoru is able to stand to his full height ā€” less queasy looking than he was before.Ā 
ā€œiā€™d like to go,ā€ he clears his throat, replacing his woozy expression with his signature bright eyed, sparkly-white toothy grin. ā€œi made a promise, to the people i love.ā€Ā 
with a firm nod and gentle smile, satoruā€™s driver gives his employer one last firm pat on the back before returning to his position behind the wheel ā€” ready to make the rest of the commute to the restaurant.Ā 
it takes a moment for satoru to slip back into the car ā€” and during that time, he reflects. he may be selfish, he may be an asshole, he may be sick and twisted right down to the core. but at the centre of all that, is his compassionate love for you and he would do anything to prove it.Ā 
even if it means losing it all, just to be with you in the way youā€™ve always wanted.
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satoru gojo is not as brave as he thought.Ā 
the rest of his car ride to the restaurant is uneventful ā€” aside from the silver haired playboyā€™s random musings. the pep talk he gives to himself while tugging at the tight loop of his neck tie. everything will be okay.
itā€™s just dinner with you, and dinner with the getos. an event that heā€™s attended dozens of times over the years because suguru is his best friend and your parents love him.Ā 
except this isnā€™t just dinner.Ā 
this is make or break.Ā 
should he choose to make things official with you, it would shatter the very foundation of his relationship with suguru. the same if satoru chooses to ignore what youā€™re asking of him.Ā 
the nerves unload on satoru as he jogs up the smooth marbled steps at the forefront of the restaurant ā€” hesitating when the concierge on duty holds open the mahogany framed and glass panelled door. he canā€™t bring himself to go inside and face the consequences of his own actions over the last two years.Ā 
just as he spins on his heels to run away, chelsea boots clicking against with every step ā€” the sky starts to rumble and unleashes its heavenly tears upon the land below. rain.
gojoā€™s car has long since vacated the fancy premises ā€” leaving him with no true escape home. he could just call a cab, call his driver, but duty and respect for his family away from family, for you, roots him to his spot outside of the restaurant.Ā 
he spends the next twenty minutes with a rolled up joint between his ever glossy, plush pink lips.
the weed does nothing to mollify gale force winds and torrential downpour set heavy over gojoā€™s mind. his entire body is tense with apprehension, spreading cold from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. the weather itself causes gojoā€™s fingers to go stiff as he inhales the addictive fumes, a burnt amber crowning the other end of his blunt.
ā€œsince when did you smoke, satoru?ā€
satoru coughs and the smoke goes down wrong, he looks up at his intruder with bleary eyes that soften once his gaze lands. ā€œstarted two years ago,ā€ he says to suguru as his smile turns wistful. ā€œcouldnā€™t find a real reason to quit.ā€Ā 
the reality of his words are masked by the sound of heavy rain hitting the ground, the tops of cars and the restaurantā€™s outer steps. itā€™s you, that satoru canā€™t seem to quit.Ā 
if he dares to stop, heā€™ll go mad with withdrawals and a nicotine patch wonā€™t fix him.Ā 
ā€œyou really should stop getting addicted to the things that are bad for you.ā€ suguru scolds his best friend, sidling up beside him.Ā 
like you, his sister?Ā 
satoru doesnā€™t deserve the aura of his warmth as they stand with one another. ā€œyeah? no shit.ā€Ā 
the younger of the pair holds his hand out for the joint, which gojo passes easily. the city bustle fills up the silence between them ā€” occupying every particle of air that buzzes with kinetic energy in that very same space. silences shared between gojo and geto were not uncommon, they were the type of friends who could communicate a million words to one another in a blink of an eye. but tonightā€™s soundlessness feels tense, thick with an uncomfortable awkwardness that neither of them know the source of.Ā 
be that as it may, satoru has always been able to mask his true feelings from the world and so he turns to his old friend slyly, giving him a casual punch to the shoulder while they smoke their worries away.Ā 
ā€œwhatā€™s got you so wound up, suguru?ā€ satoru asks, playing coy and covering up.Ā 
beady, blackened and tired eyes settle on his taller frame ā€” trying to read the small print that codes each and every one of satoru gojoā€™s actions and behaviours. to the untrained eye (or anyone who hadnā€™t been practically raised by his side) gojoā€™s being his normal and cocky, maybe even obnoxious, self. though, to suguru ā€” a man whoā€™s been beside gojo through it allā€¦ thereā€™s something missing.Ā 
a puzzle piece that doesnā€™t quite fit.
suguru plays along, moving his chess piece along the board of the game satoru is playing. heā€™ll figure it out eventually.Ā 
letting out a puff of glacier grey fumes ā€” the older geto sibling shrugs and taps the ashes onto the floor. narrowly missing gojoā€™s expensive patent boots.
ā€œsheā€™s grown up so fast,ā€ he admits slowly, with a husky chuckle ā€” probably from the smoke. ā€œiā€™m scared she wonā€™t need me anymore.ā€ suguruā€™s voice is usually so full of endearment and pride when he speaks of you but this time, all dazzling and pure emotion seems to be lost on him.Ā 
the very notion scares satoru.Ā 
he swipes the splif back to relieve the queasy feeling stirring deep in his gut once again. ā€œshe can take care of herself.ā€ gojo mutters, coolly.
ā€œi know that.ā€ suguru replies, smoothly and icily. ā€œbut if she doesnā€™t need me anymore, she wonā€™t listen to me anymore. thereā€™ll be no one to warn her of the people whoā€™ll take advantage of that. her ability to care for herself. i set a high standard for her, i donā€™t want anyone to claim they can do a better job than me.ā€
your brother is protective above all things, heā€™d rather kill a man than let you get hurt. satoru finds the sentiment both admirable and terrifying all at once.Ā 
ā€œyouā€™ve done enough, man, how about you let her go?ā€
suguru turns snarky in response, teeth bared like a wild animal protecting its young. ā€œmaybe youā€™ll never understand the fickle connections of loveā€¦but adopted or not she is my little sister.ā€ he asserts, glaring daggers into satoruā€™s skull as he smokes with a hand covering his mouth nonchalantly. hiding the quiver of his lip that shows how much he cares about this. about possibly screwing your life up. ā€œiā€™d rip the heavens apart for her if she asked, i love her that much. i often wonder if any person would do the same for her.ā€
little does suguru knowā€¦satoru would do the absolute same for you and more. he would kill, he would die, he would destroy all for you. until he was bloody and raw. anything it took for you to keep on smiling up at him like that, he would do. and suguru would never know, because heā€™d end the world if he knew it was satoru that had defiled you.Ā 
satoru is such a coward.Ā 
neither of the men most important in your life speak after that, though, they continue sharing the joint until itā€™s nothing but burt orange ashes and fumes laying across their minds. the concierge does butt in at some point, kindly (and with a tight lipped smile) pointing out that the restaurant is three michelin stars and that smoking isnā€™t preferred.Ā 
satoru hates rules, so he spits on the steps and chucks the blunt to the floor ā€” stomping it out.
suguru only chuckles at his best friendā€™s antics, smacking him upside the head as he jogs up to the grand entrance ā€” gojoā€™s hands in his pockets, his once crisp tuxedo messy with burnt ash and rain water. gojo stops just shy at of the sleek, pearlescent moulded handles and throws his mop of silver hair back over his shoulder.
ā€œare we doing this thing or what, suguru?ā€
they share a familiar, all knowing smile.Ā 
ā€œyeah, satoru. letā€™s do this.ā€Ā 
without even knowing, that everything is about to change.
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youā€™ve always been a little nervous, especially without a grounding presence beside you.
for many yearsā€¦ your brother, suguru, was that presence. he knew all the best ways to keep you calm ā€” like that little tune he taught you to tap onto your desk during quiet exam hauls, or that method of breathing so your lungs were so full of air and you stopped holding it before public speaking. suguru always knew best.Ā 
but nowadays, you donā€™t find yourself seeking serenity in him. as if you were at a crossroads, your head always turns in the direction of someone you love with almost every corner of your heart. that someone being satoru. he may use you, he may fuck you and fling you to the side when heā€™s done but he grounds you. even when he isnā€™t trying to. in the subtle way that he toys with the beads braided into the ends of your hair while you sleep over at his place, or grabs at your waist in public spaces so that you donā€™t get lost or bullied by paparazzi. in the way that gojo makes you breakfast after bruising you and breaking your back beyond belief the night before ā€” just to make it up to you.
satoru cares, even if it doesnā€™t look like it, he does.
and it almost makes you sick to your stomach ā€” the thought of you craving his attention to that level.
your dainty fingers and blush-tone acrylic nails toy with the heavy pendant draped around your neck ā€” the one that suguru gifted you. he had told you it shines under every light at every angle possible and youā€™re sure with the crystal chandeliers above, itā€™s blinding.Ā 
ā€œstop that,ā€ your mother scolds you warmly, in her own charming way of easing your nerves. ā€œyouā€™ll break that big expensive gift from your brother.ā€ you cast a glance upwards from its fixation on the pearl white tablecloths and glinting silver table settings to focus on your parents. as per usual, your father is too engrossed in reading every detail of the menu to notice your discomfort and nerves, while your mother canā€™t seem to look away. reading you to filth, much like suguru does.Ā 
her efforts do nothing to help calm you down.Ā 
your hand shifts, taking to twirling the cutlery instead. she sighs, and you shrink in on yourself ā€” trying to take up as little space as possible. ā€œā€˜m sorry,ā€ comes your hushed little bleat.
ā€œnever you mind.ā€ she comments, giving you a once over before digging through her purse for a napkin ā€” no doubt to dab at the corner of your mouth like a mother usually does. ā€œi donā€™t know why youā€™re so skittish. your exams are over and youā€™ve graduated! tonight is about celebrating you! itā€™s just your brother, his friend, and us.ā€Ā 
thatā€™s just it. itā€™s your brother and his friend. neither of them are aware of what might go down tonight.Ā 
you wished you hadnā€™t told satoru that you want his commitment ā€” maybe then you wouldnā€™t be scared shitless in a tight dress at an upscale restaurant downtown. maybe then you wouldnā€™t be dreading satoruā€™s decision or suguruā€™s reaction to that decision.Ā 
you only wished you werenā€™t so selfish, to crave love from more than one person in two completely different ways.Ā 
the love from your brother should be enough, heā€™s only gone and done so much for you.Ā 
but it isnā€™t. and that makes you feel sick.Ā 
you want to be loved in the way that plays out in movies. where the guy chases the girl through an airport just to confess how much he needs her. or stands in the thunderous rain to tell her how sorry he is.Ā 
you want that from satoru. deep down, you know he wants it too.Ā 
the only thing that stands in your way is the affection that radiates so strongly off of your brother ā€” like an umbrella protecting you from heavenā€™s downpours.Ā 
itā€™s been almost twenty minutes since your brother left his seat at your side to retrieve satoru fromā€¦well, wherever he is ā€” like a stray cat picked up by a caring and kind-hearted stranger. you donā€™t know howā€™ll act when you see them together, side by side but you do know that ever second ticks by has you angstier and angstier.Ā 
the waiter has come by at least four times, asking if youā€™re ready to order, ready for drinks, ready to be served. ā€œno,ā€ you mumble politely on his fifth return ā€” anxious to the point where your grip on your sterling silver fork has your knuckles turning white. ā€œweā€™re waiting for two others, weā€™re waiting forā€”ā€œ
ā€œthere you two are! we were starting to think the wind had swept you up!ā€ your mother coos as she always does whenever she sets her sights on her favourite two boys. she stands, immediately moving to wrap her arms around suguruā€™s taller, broad frame as if she hasnā€™t seen him in a millennia. ā€œsuguru! you had your poor family worried sick.ā€Ā 
your father doesnā€™t look up from the menu and youā€™re sure that you look a frazzled mess ā€” but all your brother does is offer up his signature, delightful closed-eye smile, squeezing your mother back in reply. ā€œsorry, ma. i got caught up with looking for this one.ā€ he says warmly, jabbing a thumb into satoruā€™s side.Ā 
satoru hasnā€™t looked away from you since heā€™d arrived at the table. his gaze even follows you as you stand.
he canā€™t help it, youā€™re beautiful.Ā 
the dress that you wear hugs every dip and curve of your body, the satin material of your corset and tulle of your skirt in a shade of baby blue to rival his eyes contrasting perfectly against your deep skin. youā€™ve done your hair in the way that he likes, curled the ends of your braids with loose ones framing the roundness of your youthful face. if you were the last thing satoru gojo ever saw, surrounded by angelic light, he would be happy. he would be content.Ā 
for you, satoru looks like a god amongst mankind. even though his clothes are askew and lightly washed with rain, heā€™s still perfect to you. pearlescent droplets coat is luxurious white lashes as they flutter against his pale ivory cheeks. his air, all the same, is pushed back from his forehead ā€” exposing those dreamy eyes to you. they hold so much love, interwoven between each greyish-navy fleck dotted against his pupils. love that is all saved up for you.
a bright and angelic grin breaks out across your hot chocolate fenty glossed lips ā€” almost blinding to the regular man but the most beautiful thing to satoru. the waiter prompts you, asking if youā€™re ready to order once more, to which you respond without looking ā€œyes, thank you.ā€ in a breathy, wispy tone.
jumping between both yours and gojoā€™s line of sight, your mother pops the bubble that youā€™re both in. ā€œsatoru gojo! is that you?ā€ she squeals with a fond tone. ā€œwhy do you look so skinny? have you been eating properly?ā€
your lover squirms like a child being picked apart as your mother reaches up to pinch his cheeks.Ā 
ā€œleave the boy alone, dear, iā€™m sure heā€™s been eating just fine.ā€ comes your dadā€™s uninterested quip. ā€œsatoru my boy, how have you been?ā€Ā 
you sink back into your seat patiently while satoru greets your parents ā€” the charm rolling off of him in radiating heat waves. ā€œiā€™ve been eating ma, though i think youā€™d have a fit if you saw what i was eating,ā€ he kisses your motherā€™s cheek softly while she laughs so hard you think she might pop, and sets a firm hand on your fatherā€™s shoulder. ā€œiā€™m good old man, thanks for askinā€™! hope youā€™re cutting back on the liquor.ā€Ā 
ā€œoh son, you know i donā€™t do any of that anymore!ā€
satoru scoffs kittenishly, gesturing between your dad and himself. ā€œyeah, and iā€™ve stopped being the family disappointment!ā€
your parents love satoru. you can tell by the way they helplessly fall for his bravado and charisma. heā€™s magnetising ā€” itā€™s hard not to fall for satoru in all of the ways possible to mankind. if he wasnā€™t so afraid of taking you seriously, you canā€™t help but think that heā€™d fit right into your family unit of four. it would be perfect, he would be perfectā€¦as your boyfriend. your man. always by your side without hiding in and calling for you from the shadows.Ā 
if only you werenā€™t such a coward.Ā 
if only he werenā€™t so afraid.
if onlyā€¦
suguru clears his throat in faux annoyance, pushing his best friend down by his wide-spanning into an unoccupied seat at the round table so that heā€™ll stop making a scene ā€” despite how cheery it is. ā€œbehave yourself satoru! at least until i order the drinks.ā€ your brother laughs, ruffling the moonlight locs on gojoā€™s head. he turns to you, face so bright and full of love. ā€œany preferences, little sister?ā€
ā€œmoscato!ā€ you nod without hesitation. you like things on the sweeter side.
ā€œi knew youā€™d say that,ā€ suguru affirms, taking his leave from the table. ā€œiā€™ll see if the staff have anything special for you in the back.ā€
if only suguru wasnā€™t your older brother.Ā 
maybe then you wouldnā€™t feel such nauseating levels of guilt as gojo swaps chairs to be one closer to you. maybe then you wouldnā€™t have to keep your face plain and your body rigid as familiar, pale and slender fingers danced up the inner thigh of your dress ā€” beneath the cupcake skirt, to settle comfortingly and dangerously on itā€™s apex. maybe then you wouldnā€™t have to try so hard to control yourself around satoru and especially in front of your parents ā€” who have taken to digging through the fancy menu together while the buzz of the table dies down in suguruā€™s absence.
youā€™re so nervous that you fear someone might hear the loud thump of your heart against its cage and the blood rushing through your ears ā€” you donā€™t even want to look at satoru because you know that with how close he is, youā€™ll fall apart the minute that you do.
but then he squeezes your thigh, in a tender and affectionate gesture ā€” tracing a heart over the blistering hot patch of your beautiful brown skin just to calm you down. because satoru gojo knows you like no other man. better than anyone, better than your brother even.
ā€œyou lookā€¦ā€ he starts, his usually husky voice barely above a whisper. the words coagulate in his throat ā€” held back by tethers of spinelessness and debilitating fear. ā€œyouā€™re stunning, sweetheart.ā€ gojo compliments you quietly, the sweet string of words nipping at your ears softly ā€” his long, lavish lashes tickling at the crown of your head from how close heā€™s gotten by leaning down.
if you turn your head now, you might even kiss him and every fibre of your being prickles with anticipation ā€” desperate to do so. ā€œyouā€™re not so bad yourself, satoru.ā€Ā 
his laugh fills your lower tummy with warmth. your heart rate picks up too.
ā€œi mean it,ā€ gojo reiterates. heā€™s desperate for you to look at him, for you to touch him. instead you bury your nose in an Ć  la cart menu that youā€™re not even truly reading because the circumstances donā€™t allow for kissing, and holding and touching. not until satoru grows a pair and tells suguru the truth about your relationship and his feelings for you. ā€œiā€™ve never seen anyone more beautiful.ā€
you can feel the heat from his breath coast across the surface of your cheek like a condensed mist over the warmed layer of seawater. it caresses you softly, sending shivers down your spine. ā€œyou look rather handsome too, satoru.ā€ you joke, poking the hungry bear in its den by tilting your head ever so slightly in his direction.Ā 
he smiles like he always does right before he kisses you, slow and sexy, but the sweet moment is interrupted by the sound of heavy glass borderline slammed on the table ā€” right into the crevice between yourself and gojo.Ā 
you dart apart, hearts racing and mind frazzled, only to find that suguru has returned with the wine he requested specifically for you. his face is hard set when you look up at him, his obsidian eyes darkened with suspicion and fear strikes you in the chest ā€” he knows something, he suspects even more.
ā€œsugu what are youā€”!ā€
your older brother lifts his chin with narrowed, cat like eyes. ā€œi want to make a toast.ā€ he announces, slicing through your words with a butcher's knife so sharp it makes both you and gojo squirm uncontrollably. like children being scolded for breaking the rules.
both of your parents put down their menus, excited, happy to be with the children they raised (including gojo) ā€” they mistake your brotherā€™s interruption for enthusiasm to celebrate your achievements.Ā 
ā€œsuguru, weā€™ve hardly ordered anything!ā€Ā 
ā€œitā€™s never too late to start the festivities, ma.ā€ he responds with a sly tone and slips into gojoā€™s previously empty seat to open the bottle of pink moscato. the cork popping makes you jump skittishly, and gojoā€™s hand slips away from your thigh underneath the table.Ā 
the loss of his touch reminds you that as long as your brother is around, youā€™ll never be anything more than a little secret to satoru.
liquid gold in the shade of dusted rose pink is passed around the table in crystal glasses ā€” raised in honour of you. suguru says your name, the bulk of his voice full of pride.
ā€œa toast to you, my little sister.ā€Ā 
you smile, tight lipped but warm ā€” the guilt rushing back you.Ā 
but then gojoā€™s hand returns to the apex of your thigh, smoothing over the skin under your dress to calm you down once more.
ā€œand everything that you have achieved. congrats on graduating, squirt.ā€ satoru finishes suguruā€™s toast lovingly, approved by your parents who break out into a round of applause before flagging down a waiter to get the real celebrations underway. they tell you to order whatever you would like, but you take to downing the crisp, sweet flavours of your wine first.
you chug the beverage like itā€™s cheaply made beer from the college parties youā€™d been to ā€” the ones satoru stopped you from going to, the ones that you avoided out of loyalty to him where you sought out the commitment he wasnā€™t ready to give you, a light buzz simmers over your brain, dulling down your high-alert senses and you hope that the alcohol makes you feel anything but present in the moment so that you miss the tense look that gojo and geto share beside you.Ā 
suguru is politely seething and satoru is playing pretend ā€” acting as if thereā€™s nothing wrong or nothing between you. your lover swirls his wine around in his glass, the pink tinted elixir sloshing over its edges before he takes a casual slip, ignoring your brotherā€™s obvious dissatisfaction with satoruā€™s little addition to his toast.
ā€œsatoru.ā€
you gulp and fixate your gaze on other happenings deeper into the restaurant. your parents make their order. satoru squeezes your thigh once more.
ā€œsuguru.ā€Ā 
could this be it? the moment that gojo tells the truth and the moment that your eldest sibling accepts what you have with his best friend? you twitch in your seat as the confrontation brews and the thunder of their clashing personalities and morals begin to strike. all suguru has to do is ask if he suspects something, and all satoru has to do is confirm the truth. say that he loves you, that youā€™re his girlfriend while your brother accepts it and is happy for you.Ā 
you wish. that would be an ideal world.Ā 
ā€œyouā€™re in my seat, satoru,ā€Ā  is what geto settles on, the crescendo of their confrontation falling flat ā€” missing a key note. ā€œyouā€™re sitting next to my sister. i was supposed to sit there.ā€
ā€œreally?ā€ all satoru does is grin, and if you looked close enough, you could see the mischief dancing between the navy flecks in his stunning eyes.Ā 
the waiter comes to take yours, your brotherā€™s and your loverā€™s orders (after tending to your parents for most of the interaction) ā€” not giving suguru any time to protest his best friendā€™s faux confusion.
gojo takes to swirling his moscato once more ā€” daring to look your brother in his eye over the rim of his crystal glass.Ā 
ā€œi hadnā€™t even noticed.ā€Ā 
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the rest of the actual dinner seems to go smoothly after that.
your boys tone down their bickering in favour for scaring down tiny Michelin star starters ā€” micro herbs and all. theyā€™re still so childish, even as they sit either side of you, picking from one anotherā€™s plates in the same way that they did back when you were kids. you find yourself relaxing as the night progresses too ā€” maybe this isnā€™t so bad and things could work out between the three of you. suguru and satoru have been joined at the hip for as long as you can remember, a girl (one that they both knew), let alone suguruā€™s sister wouldnā€™t come between the bond that they had.Ā 
by the time the main dishes are served, you have enough alcohol in your system to feel nothing but a pleasant buzz in place of the nerves that once contaminated your bloodstream. you had nothing to be worried about, everyone was getting along, laughing and smiling while your parents indulged the three of you in drunken repeats of famed moments from your childhood.Ā 
you do your best to listen in, though the story about how suguru and satoru pulled out one of your wobbly teeth in third grade is one that youā€™ve heard too many times to count. itā€™s sweet though, that your parents are able to reminisce like this while youā€™re all togetherā€¦especially since suguru works long hours so far from home and youā€™ll be off to a new city by the time the month ends.Ā 
even just having satoru there makes the night feel complete. thereā€™s so much love to go around.Ā 
there would be even more love if suguru knew about how you and satoru truly felt for one another.Ā 
youā€™re only sucked back into the bustling conversation when geto pinches your side ā€” jutting his head in the direction of your mother so that you can give your attention to her next story. ā€œoh honey!ā€ she coos and you cringe, chugging back your latest glass of wine in order to prepare yourself for whatever embarrassment is about to come next. ā€œdo you remember when your poor brother threw his white laundry in with those cute red undies you brought ā€” suguru was wearing pink for months!ā€Ā 
the whole table bursts into obnoxious laughter, and you sink down into your seat.Ā 
ā€œmom! oh my god!ā€Ā 
ā€œi remember that,ā€ your brother comments casually, gaze slinking over to his best friend in amusement. ā€œsatoru wouldnā€™t let me hear the end of it, told me i looked like a barbie doll. what were you even doing with underwear like that anyways.ā€Ā 
ā€œsugu, not you too!ā€
ā€œnow i remember the pink shirts butā€¦ the underwear? i would have loved to see the culprit.ā€ safely says with a voice as sultry as it is silky smooth ā€” sending a jolt of electricity down your spine until it fizzles out at your tailbone. he gets scolded by your parents (more so by mom) and earns himself a harmless glare from geto whoā€™s been loosened up by alcohol but from you ā€” youā€™re furiously humiliated.Ā 
under the table, you lift a foot to stamp down hard on his own with your heel, but gojo is quick to react ā€” instead dragging his foot up the length of your calf, inciting you to join him in an enticing game of footsie.
you slam your hands down on the table in surprise causing everyone to look your way before you sheepishly wave them off. ā€œstop it, gojo.ā€ you snarl through the cage of your gritted teeth.Ā 
he clicks his tongue, delighted by how flustered you are. ā€œiā€™m not doing anything, pretty girl,ā€ he purrs shallowly into your ear. ā€œcā€™mon now, pay attention to the story.ā€Ā 
ā€œit was a frilly little thing, far too inappropriate for someone her age.ā€ your dad chimes in and gojo nods ā€” lifting his foot higher and higher until youā€™re shuddering all over. you donā€™t even think to stop him.Ā 
ā€œmom, dad. please stop before i end it all.ā€ you struggle to place your words in the correct order, distracted by gojoā€™s touch. you place your hands under your thighs, keen on controlling your squirming as they squish together ever so slightly. you just know that satoru is enjoying this and if you looked at him youā€™d see satisfaction evident all over his stupidly handsome face. he likes knowing how much of an effect he has on you, that itā€™s easy to make you writhe all for him.Ā 
ā€œsorry sweetheart, but they really were cute! i know you were just trying out new things. starting to act mature for your age.ā€Ā 
satoru chimes in again, leaning in a little closer so that his breath just tickles the shell of your ear. ā€œbet they looked even cuter on her.ā€Ā 
squeaking in embarrassment, you kick your chair back until it screeches loudly across the floor in a weak attempt to put some distance between yourself and the man whoā€™s practically torturing you. of course, your escape plan doesnā€™t work, because satoru keeps a strong grip on the bottom of your seat ā€” dragging it forward, back under the table, and closer to him, that same hand now resting on the wooden frame beneath your locked knees.Ā 
coughing to cut up the tension growing between the two of you, suguru cuts in. ā€œnot as cute as her diaper phase!ā€ from there, everyone is distracted by gushing over even more embarrassing childhood memories of you as a baby. obviously, leading to some tears from your parentsā€™ end ā€” youā€™ve grown so much, come so far. itā€™s only natural that theyā€™d be emotional on a night like this, one meant to celebrate your achievements.
what isnā€™t natural, is the fact that youā€™re three seconds away from jumping satoru gojoā€™s bones right in front of them.Ā 
god, he drives you fucking insane. just from messing with you under expensive linen tablecloths too ā€” his thumbs brush over your knees, your feet tangled together and if he leans over you anymore you might just turn your head and kiss him.Ā 
you fight that urge to do so by grasping at the cool silver pendant around your neck ā€” tapping your acrylic jelly nails against the fat sapphire gem at its centre. the jewellery feels like ice against the temperate surface of your skin, a dirty need starting to bubble and brew beneath it hotly. one that can only be satisfied by satoru gojo.Ā 
the heat spreads to the back of your neck and under the collar of your dress, even warming the chain that hangs loosely around it. it could just be the alcohol, but you know itā€™s something more. itā€™s an itch you canā€™t scratch on your own and a fire you canā€™t put out without help. suddenly the metal of your pendent is warm to the touch and slippery between your fingers whilst you continue to play with it in newfound sweaty hands.Ā 
a subtle gasp slips past your chocolate glossed lips when the chain snaps somewhere and the rest of the metal slides between your buttery fingers, your pendant gathers at your bosom before dropping to the floor with a clatter. feeling around your neck for your precious gift, you let out a louder whine upon realising where itā€™s gone. suguru spares you a moment of his attention, concern drawn against the gentle slopes of his features.Ā 
ā€œyou okay, little one?ā€Ā 
ā€œy-yeah,ā€ you exhale slowly, trying to calm the anxiety that fires across your neurons. ā€œi think i umā€¦ i dropped my necklace under the table.ā€Ā 
an award winning beam slots itself perfectly on your brotherā€™s lips as he chuckles under his breath. ā€œyouā€™re so clumsy, need my help?ā€
ā€œjust keep mom and dad distracted for me? itā€™s just under the table, iā€™ll be back for their next story before anyone notices.ā€ you attempt to joke in order to appease him, you donā€™t need suguru to get a closer look at how wildly turned on you are nor the fact that gojo is sitting comfortably with his hand between your knees ā€” inches away from where you need him most, where heā€™s been so many times behind your brotherā€™s back.Ā 
not to mention the fact that youā€™re still fucking playing footsie.
suguru shrugs and drops the subject, tuning back into your fatherā€™s rendition of your first skatepark experience. the one where youā€™d tried to copy satoru and suguru and attempted a trick on your chunky bratz scooter and went flying off the ramp. ouch.
you dip beneath the table cloth like youā€™re diving back under the surface of water, fishing around for your lost and precious pirateā€™s treasure. you canā€™t tell if satoruā€™s moved his hand, you donā€™t feel it slyly ghosting over the insides of your thighs while you lean forward and search for your necklaceā€¦ not that it should matter, itā€™d be far from appropriate to have his long, slender fingers brushing up against your panties from under your skirts. it wouldnā€™t be right for that to escalate, for said fingers to push past your entrance and brush up against the spot satoru knows is guaranteed to make you scream. it would be immoral for you to even think about him sliding his cock into your wet, needy cunt too. somewhere secret, somewhereā€”
oh!
you giggle with triumph when your fingertips graze the cold metal decor of your necklaceā€¦ however, when you move to grab it, you touch something else. something warmer. you touch him.Ā 
with baited breath, you let your bambi eyes carefully trail up to gojoā€™s face ā€” drinking in the hazy look that he gives you, the swirl of desire taking a flame in his brilliant, cerulean eyes. just by being under his gaze you feel as though youā€™re drowning and burning alive all at once. satoru is the one who moves first, taking your smaller hand in his large one before he turns it over ā€” palm facing the sky and places your sapphire pendant inside of it.Ā 
then, one by one, he closes your fingers around your brotherā€™s gift and then brings your closed fist up to his plush lips, pressing a wet kiss to your knuckles as you gasp. ā€œquiet, baby. wouldnā€™t want anyone to know what youā€™re up to down hereā€¦ā€Ā 
his words die off, licking his lips slowly, stare predatory while it trails all over your body. ā€œbut ā€˜toru,ā€ you mewl enticingly, keeping your tones hushed under the table. the sweet, dulcet sound makes his eyes flutter shut and body quiver with a wave of hunger, his sexual appetite for you growing by a tenth fold . ā€œi need you.ā€ you never make this easy for him. if someone were to take a peek beneath the table cloth, they would see the tension brewing between you both and put two and two together.Ā 
youā€™d be discovered before having the chance to tell everyone yourself.Ā 
time is ticking, your guests might start to grow suspicious if you donā€™t make a move and goad satoru into solving the ache between your thighs. so you jump the gun, grabbing his collar and tug him forward for a sly, sloppy yet quick kiss. ā€œi wonā€™t say it again after this, ā€˜toru,ā€ comes your cheeky pant. ā€œi need you.ā€
satoru chokes.
with that, you withdraw from your scared little bubble below the table and stand straight up ā€” a dazzling and guiltless gin on display for your entire family to see. ā€œiā€™m going to the bathroom,ā€ you explain sweetly. ā€œneed to fix my pendant ā€˜n powder my nose. iā€™ll be back.ā€Ā 
your family stops chattering briefly to acknowledge your wish, but as you leave ā€” suguru stands too and grabs your wrist. ā€œneed me to help? i know the clasp can be finicky. i should have gotten you something easier to useā€”ā€œ
god bless suguru, your loveable brother, ever the cockblock.Ā 
ā€œthatā€™s alright man, iā€™ve got her covered,ā€ satoru suddenly appears behind you, the sweltering heat of his heaving chest singeing through the fabric of your dress. he places a hand on the small of your back, grinning with a charming spark to his eyes ā€” deliberately masking ā€œyou should keep an eye on your parents, you know how they get when theyā€™ve had too much to drink.ā€Ā 
now, itā€™s not that geto doesnā€™t trust his best friendā€¦ after all, gojo has been a constant presence in your life ever since the three of you were kids. itā€™s just that sometimes, a feeling of unease stirs within suguru at the mere thought of you being alone together ā€” itā€™s like one of those gut feelings you get before something goes terribly wrong.Ā 
yet, as usual, satoru is right. if no one keeps an eye on getoā€™s parents, who knows what trouble theyā€™ll get into on their own.Ā 
ā€œalright, fine. just donā€™t take too long, thereā€™s only so many stories they can tell before dessert.ā€ suguru reminds you plainly, as if not to assume the worst. he gives you both an approving nod, before letting you go. ā€œand satoru, wait outside for her?ā€Ā 
the white haired man snickers, a languid and jeering smirk slowly tugging on the corners of his mouth. ā€œyou got it, suguru!ā€Ā 
he even adds a salute for effect, allowing you to lead him away from the table and towards your gateway of sin.
the uneasy feeling in suguruā€™s stomach intensifies as he watches you both walk further and further away.Ā 
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they say that a mirror is the window to your soul, reflecting how you truly feel on the inside.Ā 
the girl staring back at you in the squeaky clean glass looks nothing like the little girl suguru helped to raise. her soul is impure, blackened by sin and the dark desire for human contact ā€” the salacious dance and ritual between scorching hot bodies and saliva tainted tongues. she laughs at you over rushing tap water from the bathroom sink and calls to you like a sirenā€™s song, inviting you to give into her ā€” let her take the lead on the temptations plaguing your mind.Ā 
why did you even suggest this?Ā 
youā€™d been bold, hinted to satoru that you wanted him to devour you, ruin you in the bathroom of the restaurant your loving, kind older brother had picked especially to celebrate you. you knew better than this, you wanted better than this. you no longer wanted to be just a quick fuck to satoru gojo.Ā 
you wanted to be his girlfriend.Ā 
thatā€™s what youā€™d asked him to do tonight. to make you his in front of everyone who loved you. but here you were, slutting yourself out for him like you always do.Ā 
over the water pouring down the drain, you pick up on the sound of knocking at the bathroom door ā€” prompting you to twist the tap and cut off the flow of water. unlike the flow of lustful hormones that shoot through your bloodstream and straight to your clit.
a new kind of excitement blossoms in your chest once you turn around to unlock the door ā€” suguru would hate to see you so thrilled at the concept of doing something so wrong. you return to your position in front of the bathroom sink before your lover enters, toying with the silver chain on your pendant again ā€” ignoring the burning feeling you get as it weighs down your palm.
the burn of underlying guilt.
ā€œi can help with that.ā€
satoru purrs seductively as he enters the bathroom, gesturing to your pendant. you donā€™t turn to look at him but keep your eyes trained in his movements in the mirror. even when he isnā€™t touching you, you feel like you canā€™t breathe. his presence overshadows your own, shrinking you down into a tiny toy that sings oh so pretty for him whenever he wants.
you hear the lock click shut behind you. anticipation hums through the air like an electric current.
ā€œthe clasp is a little tricky,ā€ comes your dreamy sigh, high pitched and needy ā€” earning you a choked groan from your lover. ā€œi canā€™t do it on my own, not without help.ā€
the next time gojo speaks, heā€™s right behind you ā€” chest pressed to your back, arms either side of your hips and large hands on the bathroom counter, his head practically nestled into the junction between your shoulder and your neck. wisps of snowfall like hair tickle at your bare skin while warm breath causes goosebumps to rise across its surface.Ā 
ā€œthen let me fix it for you,ā€ satoru suggests enticingly ā€” keeping up this little act, pretending to be raunchy strangers, while your fingers brush against one another and he takes the jewellery from you. you straighten your back, hold your breath and nod cautiously as he brings it up to your neck from behind. your eyes catch each otherā€™s in the mirror, his darkened with devoir all while he offers you a enthralling, toothy smirk. ā€œrelax, pretty girl. i donā€™t biteā€¦ā€
except he does. if satoru is a hunter, a lion, then you are nothing but a sacrificial lamb that serves to be his prey. if he really wanted you, he could take your dainty neck between his vicious jaws and snap it ā€” you wouldnā€™t even mindā€¦because youā€™d let satoru do anything to you so long as it meant having all his focus be on you.Ā 
ā€œlift your chin for me.ā€ he commands you huskily, nipping at the shell of your ear. ā€œgood girl.ā€ satoru continues to drawl, extending the ā€˜oā€™ sound in his words when you follow his instructions obediently ā€” tilting your head back so that he can adjust your necklace to sit perfectly in place. ā€œsuch a good girl fā€™me.ā€Ā 
when his fingers fix the clasp and touch teasingly at the nape of your neck ā€” you find yourself instinctively pushing back against gojoā€™s lap, the curve of your fleshy ass sweeping over the slight tent beginning to form in his expensive designer slacks. slacks that you know youā€™re going to destroy before the night meets its end.Ā 
ā€œt-there we go,ā€ gojo doesnā€™t dare step back after finishing up with your necklace, enjoying the sight of you slightly bent over the counter as you grind your hips back on him painfully slow ā€” testing the waters. ā€œfuck lilā€™ ladyā€¦whatā€™s this all about, hm? tryna thank me for doinā€™ such a good job, helpinā€™ you out?ā€ his hands slip over your own as they rest by the sink, lacing your fingers together while satoru puts some weight on you ā€” looming over you as he starts to rut forward and meet you in the middle of this raunchy bump and grind. ā€œs-shitā€¦keepā€¦keep throwinā€™ it back on me like that.ā€
ā€œwe donā€™tā€¦we donā€™t have long, satoru. hah, fuck!ā€ you sigh breathlessly, rocking back and forth on your man eagerly and clenching around nothing when his erection catches on your budding clit. satoruā€™s lips ascend on your neck with careful thought, using their plumpness to shift the strap of your dress to the side and reveal more of you to his greedy, deep blue eyes. theyā€™re wet on your skin, perhaps heā€™s been licking them in anticipation, hot at the very tip of your cervical spine ā€” but he canā€™t leave marks, not unless he wants your brother to see.
satoru trembles behind you, lazily dragging his tongue to the sweet spot just behind your ear ā€” leaving a shimmering trail of possession across your skin. ā€œi know baby, i know,ā€ he says almost instantly, delayed by tasting you on his tongue. suddenly, you feel a wetness against your cunt that isnā€™t your own ā€” youā€™re already so wet that the seat of your panties are practically glued to your fonts, but thisā€¦ this is satoru. his dick dribbles pathetically with precum, gearing up to fuck. to breed. satoru grows angstier by the second, one hand letting go of yours to manhandle you back onto his stiff hard on, his breath much heavier against you than before. ā€œbut it feels so good doesnā€™t it? just wanna keepā€¦my cockā€¦nestled against you like this.ā€Ā 
pride flutters through all four chambers of your heart simply because you know that youā€™re the only one who can get satoru gojo to act like such a slut. heā€™s so desperate for your pussy it doesnā€™t even matter how he takes it, just as long as itā€™s his.Ā 
only you get to reduce gojo to a needy mess, soft pink fanning across his nose and cheeks as he humps you from behind like a wet, mangy dog in rut. he circles his hips, pushing them forward so that his throbbing length meets your sticky, fat panty clad folds in a constant motion ā€” his needy moans like music to your ears.Ā 
ā€œi wanna fuck you,ā€ you huff impatiently, using your strength to push gojo away from you just long enough to turn around. he follows your lead, hiking you up to sit on the bathroom counter before you wrap your legs around his tiny waist and squeeze him close. ā€œgonna fuck me, ā€˜toru? or do i have to ā€” fuckā€¦do it myself.ā€
now that youā€™re facing each other, you can see just how wrecked the man is. his eyelids grow heavy, long and lavish white lashes weighed down by mirth. gojo pants, his tongue doused with spit lolled over his bottom lip with a hankering urge to kiss you. ā€œjeez,ā€ he simpers in awe, impressed with how controlling youā€™re being this time around ā€” squeezing your hips to control the flow of you grinding back and forth on him. ā€œat least kiss a guy first.ā€Ā 
grinning, your fingers surge upwards from the counter and into the depths of white rooted hair. you tug gojo down to meet you halfway and before he can even register it ā€” your lips are roughly slotted together, bruisingly close and your tongue laps tracks into the hot cavern of his mouth. the kiss quickly turns sloppy, needy, spit is easily exchanged between synchronised moving lips while your noses become neighbours and your lungs burn from how desperately they need oxygen.
you donā€™t want it, you think. you donā€™t need it, you say to yourself ā€” hardly pulling away from gojo as you both suck in a much needed breath. youā€™re back on one another in a heartbeat, drowning in one another while his practised hands traverse up the curves and dips of your body. they settle at your throat, a thumb gently pushing against its centre just to test you. a dark chuckle reverberates in satoruā€™s chest when you whine, back arching up to meet him and your eyes growing misty.
ā€œhowā€™s that for a kiss?ā€ you whine against his wet mouth, yanking at gojoā€™s roots again. the action earns you a grunt in response ā€” blissful, low and predatory. his hips jump up too, tucking his swelling cock into the snug pocket of your puffy folds.
ā€œthink i want another,ā€ he muses out loud, the chocolaty octaves of satoruā€™s voice making you shudder ā€” liquid gold beginning to gather between your ravaged pussy lips. using his grip on your throat, the silver haired man pulls you closer ā€” his perfect white teeth sinking into the delicious swell of your bottom lip before he tugs it away from you salaciously. itā€™s barely enough to quell the spark of hunger spreading throughout all four limbs of his body, hardly calming down the blood that rushes to his achingly hard dick as he rubs it against your increasingly soaked mound.
when your lips find each other again, theyā€™re swollen, cherry red and raw ā€” smacking against one another loudly over the sound of rustling clothes while you buck into one another. everything is so hot and heavy, youā€™re so wet and so sticky for satoru and your little rendezvous has barely begun. the way he sucks on your tongue, letā€™s you push it down his throat while his clothed seedy tip nudges your clit over and over again has you bouncing off the walls in your mind. you canā€™t think without thinking of all the ways to fuck satoru gojo.Ā 
heā€™s on your mind all the time and youā€™re not sure if you want that to change.Ā 
ā€œcanā€¦oh manā€”can feel how wet you are through your fuckinā€™ clothesā€¦ā€ satoru hums in astonishment, releasing you from the prison of his lip lock with pretty pink swollen lips, allowing his head to drop to your shoulder in favour for sucking on it to pacify himself. he keeps his tip on your pleasure bud, revelling in the way you keenly pulse at the sensation. ā€œoh fuckā€¦so sticky.ā€Ā Ā 
your pussy flutters at his observation, even more so with how cute satoru sounds when heā€™s so needy for you. ā€œsatoruā€¦ā€ you mewl, stroking back tufts of his sweaty pale hair ā€” though it hardly distracts him from feverishly fucking you over layers of fabric. ā€œwanna suck you off, gojo. can i? wanna have you in my mouth.ā€Ā 
satoru pauses, his breathing uneven and pulls away from his safe spot in your neck. ā€œfuckā€¦really? now?ā€Ā 
you nod, tiny hands forcing their way between your heated bodies to toy with his belt, unbuckling it with practised ease. ā€œright now.ā€Ā 
ā€œokayā€¦fuck, okay.ā€ satoru steps back and uses a grip on your hips to help you down onto your feet, watching with pride as you slowly descend to your knees in front of him. ā€œoh baby. youā€™re so dirty. such a dirty little girl, mmm?ā€ he grins, a little twisted. ā€œshow me how pretty you look on your knees for me.ā€Ā 
you sit back on your haunches as satoru adjusts himself to lean back on the counter ā€” looking up at him with sweet shiny eyes which occasionally shoot down to his throbbing hard cock as he manspreads in place. the sight makes your mouth water andĀ 
ā€œyouā€™re staring, baby. go ahead and open your present.ā€ he tilts his head with an air of condescension about him ā€” teasing and taunting you through a faux pout, making you simper out for satoru. ā€œcome on now, what happened to my brave little girl? you wanted to suck me off so bad, whereā€™s all that big talk now, huh?ā€ satoru continues to leer down at you, his eyes darkening malignantly ā€” the sapphire shine within them dimming with a raging storm cloud as if to block out the sun. ā€œopen that cute little mouth, lemme see it. donā€™t disappoint.ā€ he cups your cheek, entire body bristling with joy and underlying pleasure when you keen into satoruā€™s touch like a good girl.
obediently, your lips part and mouth falls open ā€” revealing ropes of saliva that tie your tongue to the roof of your mouth. it does something to satoru, itā€™s like a power trip to have you on your knees for him. youā€™ve got love in your eyes taking the form of heart-shaped pupils, as you admire him like heā€™s your god. and you want that godā€™s cock stuffed into your waiting, drooling mouth.Ā 
you shouldnā€™t adore satoru, treat him as if heā€™s your lifeline. heā€™s the whole reason your family might fall apart, he keeps you hidden as if youā€™re a treasure only he is worthy of seeing. he doesnā€™t show you off, he chooses to use you for his own gain, he chooses you when thereā€™s no one else left to turn to. your relationship with satoru has never been stable, but even now when heā€™s hanging above you ā€” rosy cheeked and starry eyed about to fuck you in some bathroom, you still want him. you still love him.Ā 
ā€œdonā€™t get lost in that pretty little head of yours baby,ā€ gojo leans forward and brushes his thumb under the well of your wet lips and over your Cupidā€™s bow ā€” smudging what's left of your gloss. ā€œā€˜m gonna need you to think for a little while. only ā€˜bout me ā€˜n my cock. yeah?ā€ his free hand that once had been abandoned on the countertop takes yours ā€” guiding it over the bulge in his crisp dress pants, hissing when you start to rub at it on your own, your mouth still wide open for him. ā€œyouā€™re so pretty. feel that? you make me so hard that it hurts.ā€
you find yourself dazed and enchanted ā€” panting, chest heaving as your hunger for him grows. ā€œfeel it, want you, ā€˜toru.ā€ satoru thinks youā€™re so cute, cupcake dress poofing up against the cold floor as your tiny hand paws at him back and forth, back and forth and the little smile you give him when he pulsates beneath your talented little fingertips would be nearly enough to make him explode.Ā 
ā€œof course you do, baby. you want your reward.ā€ gojo relents, giving in to you. he swoops down to give you one last kiss, barely ghosting his lips over your swollen ones to keep you on the edge ā€” craving just a little bit more. he dangles the static pleasure of a kiss that you get over your brain in front of you like a carrot in front of a horse. he knows that if he keeps you that way, youā€™ll stay desperately in love with him, malleable into the perfect girl for him.Ā 
itā€™s selfish and both of you know that.
you rub harder and harder at the outline of satoruā€™s shaft and scoot closer to rest your chubby cheek on his firm thigh. he sees the way your own squeeze together from under your dress, probably in an attempt to keep your arousal at bay while your hole slicks itself up ā€” but he can smell you, sweet and potent like a flower in bloom. if he were to pull you up to his height and take you now, satoru is sure your panties would be soiled, ass cheeks and pussy lips coated in a layer of your opaque, honey-like arousal while it oozes directly from you.
thatā€™s just how you are, a candied little mess for satoru gojo. itā€™s almost a fact and the very notion should be humiliating for you, should be shameful to you. if your brother were to ever find out how weak your resolve is when it comes to satoru, how you fall to your knees so easily for himĀ  ā€” then you might never be able to look him in the eye again.Ā 
but isnā€™t that what you want?Ā 
to have suguru know just how badly youā€™d fallen for his best friend?Ā 
how you might fail to live without him?Ā 
all night all youā€™ve been thinking about is satoru telling your brother the truth ā€” but here you are, locked in a bathroom ready to worship this man while you hide from your entire family. from reality.Ā 
because youā€™re happiest in this bubble with gojo and youā€™re sure he is too ā€” he can have you in all the ways heā€™s ever wanted and youā€™d let him do it all to you too. yet again, you remain entirely unaware that from gojoā€™s point of view, youā€™re more than a pretty girl about to suck his pretty cock. youā€™re everything to him.
ā€œcome on baby, stop playinā€™ with me. baby please.ā€ satoru whines petulantly into the sex tainted air that fizzles with suspense. his skin buzzes with every touch you give and a wicked chuckle resonates deep within his chest when you scoot closer on your knees ā€” dragging the tip of your tongue over his dick print hesitantly. though the sound is cut short when you give his hard-on a tentative squeeze to text the waters, opaque and runny white smearing against the inside of satoruā€™s underwear.Ā 
you adore how much he trembles, gripping your shoulder to steady himself since knows that you donā€™t like the idea of your head being pushed down on. even if itā€™s torture for him to be so patient ā€” heā€™d never do anything you didnā€™t like.Ā 
but it really is killing him, and youā€™re fully aware. he deserves to be punished like this, after everything heā€™s put you through ā€” it doesnā€™t mean youā€™re not suffering yourself. circling your hips into the cold bathroom floor to get some friction yourself, beyond turned on at the sight of a breathless satoru gojo above you.Ā 
ā€œsay that again.ā€ you moan.
gojoā€™s head drops and he lets out a shaky breath as if heā€™s about to cry. ā€œw-what?ā€Ā 
ā€œbeg me again, then iā€™ll suck your cock.ā€ you sneer up at your silver haired lover evilly just as your mouth meets his sticky clothed cockhead, the spit and heat from your mouth seeping through the layers of fabric in your way. ā€œi wanna hear you moan for me, ā€˜toru. like you love me.ā€ you press, switching to taking the manā€™s zipper between the rows of your teeth.Ā 
satoru gojo has never been a stickler for the rules, whatever he does is usually for his own personal gainā€¦but when you command him like that, he canā€™t help but to blindly stumble after you, hanging onto your every sugar-coated word. ā€œfucking hell, please baby. need to feel your mouth on meā€¦fuck, your tongue,ā€ gojo rambles on weakly. ā€œplease, please, want it so bad i might fucking die.ā€ he does some of the work for you, shedding his belt and causing itā€™s buckle to clink satisfyingly against your ears.Ā 
satoruā€™s eagerness sends a shockwave of pleasure straight to your clit. your patience seems to be wearing thinner than his, for you jump forward like a cat on the prowl and peel back the remaining layers of satoruā€™s clothes without mercy for any of the fabrics. his gasps and muttered pleas coax you into the dark, addictive enigma that is satoru gojo ā€” clouding your mind whilst setting your body on fire with hell flames.
you kiss at satoruā€™s slender hips the more his pants and boxers come down, twirling your tongue into the tufts of silver hair that form his happy trail too. a soft, honeysuckle chuckle from you resounds in the bathroomā€™s echoing chamber when you finally reveal enough of gojoā€™s cock for it to spring free ā€” twitching as itā€™s exposed to fresh air. satoru is longer where he might lack thickness, though heā€™s chubby enough to keep you plugged full of his cum usually. his balls are plump and pink, heavy with a load thatā€™s just waiting to be spent on you ā€” evidence of his arousal taking the form of opaque pearls set at the tip of his dick.
speaking of, gojoā€™s cockhead burns bright red and shines as if itā€™s glossed and sticky like your lips ā€” blue pulsating veins spiral around his flushed shaft, rivalling the shade of his eyes as he observes your next moves. youā€™re sure to make your touch tender as you take his entire length between your fingers, smoothing the supple pad of your thumb over his sensitive tip and rubbing the precum into it sweetly.
he smells so good, the musky scent of satoruā€™s cock and his arousal act like the fumes of a drug you know all too well ā€” it takes over your consciousness and stream of thought, controlling your actions from then on. you feel everything all at once, your tongue writhing in place at the bottom of your mouth, satoruā€™s thighs trembling lightly and his cock throbbing while blood rushes through it. a haughty moan scratches at the ridges in his throat when you finally grip him properly ā€” soft little hands dwarfed by his sheer length, palm brushing over the flushed forked veins that separate at the base. ā€œj-jesus, beautiful,ā€ satoru hisses, lips between his sharp white teeth. ā€œyou gotta give a littleā€¦drivinā€™ me insane with these little touches. please just suck itā€¦please iā€™m begginā€™ youā€”ā€œĀ 
the air in his lungs grows thin like that at the peak of a mountain when you finally give in, dragging your lips over the cream gathering at his mushroomed cockhead before kitten-licking through its seedy slit in order to tease him a little more. opening up your mouth, you prepare to swallow satoru down, just as you have done many times before. you know everything he likes, what makes him tick, what has him cumming in secondsā€¦however, just as your warm breath coasts along his shaft ā€” he pulls back from your hold.Ā 
ā€œwait,ā€ he says through a shudder. ā€œyou wanna smoke?ā€ satoru pulls a joint from his crumpled pocket, licking his lips as he searches for its partner in crime ā€” a lighter.
you frown, choosing to palm him instead of taking him into your mouth just yet. his cock jumps at the simple movement, leaking milky white against your knuckles, tainting your skin. ā€œweā€™ll get into trouble, ā€˜toru.ā€ you state like itā€™s obvious, speaking over the slick sound of your hand gently pumping satoru. your movements are aided by just how wet his cock is, fingers slipping and sliding up and down his girth whilst being guided by the thick globs of precum beading at his tip.
ā€œs-since when did you care about the rules? youā€™re fucking me here, arenā€™t you?ā€ his breathing falters as he shakily attempts to set the end of his joint alight. you donā€™t dare stop pleasuring your brother's best friend, even if thereā€™s a nagging voice at the back of your head telling you that this is bad, that itā€™s all too much. ā€œhelp me out for a sec, beautiful? hold this in your mouth while i light it.ā€ satoruā€™s voice drops an octave as he shoves the splif between your arousal glossed lips (replacing the fenty that once spread their shine across them)Ā  ā€” he stares you down through his long, white lashes as he flicks the lighter at the end, setting fire to the rizzler. ā€œthank you, little one.ā€Ā 
the pet name makes your skin crawl and the weed in your mouth only amplifies that voice in your head. you should quit while you still can, you might be able to cope with the withdrawals then, and spend the rest of your life making it up to suguru for leading him astray. little one. the nickname heā€™d so fondly called you quickly becomes something you hate. itā€™s meaning changed easily by none other than satoru gojo.Ā 
his power over you is still so strong despite his cock being at the mercy of your feather light grip and plush lips. once you set a steady rhythm to jerking gojo off and the joint burns dangerously close to your nose, he takes it from you and lovingly pats your cheek ā€” placing it between his own lips before blowing a ring of smoke into the humid air.
satoruā€™s head collapses back against the mirror, his moonshine hair perfectly tousled despite being out of place. his locks stick to the icy surface of the glass, brought on by the cold sweat from your temperate mouth. the pair of you share a harmonious tune of wet whimpers and gargled gripes when you take your lover down your throat, sinking down on him until your nose nudges the prickliness of his happy trail.Ā 
you flex your tongue, letting it swirl around satoruā€™s girth from the base to the tip. ā€œo-oh fuck, baby!ā€ he exclaims through a hybrid sound, a cross mix between a raspy chuckle and high pitched moan. shakily; satoru takes a puff of his joint as if to calm himself down. he looks down at you with a lustful, love laden gaze, dropping a hand to the top of your head ā€” careful not to push on it as you work your mouth down on him. ā€œdonā€™t worryā€¦ ā€˜m not gonna fuck your mouth. know you donā€™t like that, just wannaā€¦touch you.ā€ it nearly kills him as well, the way you look up, with shiny eyes and full cheeks. ā€œgod, you take it so well, huh?ā€
of course, satoru had been the one to teach you how to suck dick back when you first started messing around two years ago. heā€™d coaxed you through it, teaching you step by step so you could get him off just how he liked. he made it so that you wouldnā€™t ever want to please a man the same way you pleased him ā€” rewiring all the nerves in your brain to make sure it was only gojo that you wanted to deep throat.Ā 
so you nod diligently in reply, swallowing down on gojo and letting out a gentle hum that causes dopamine to crackle along the insides of his skull.Ā  hollowing your cheeks, your throat contracts around his thick length until you feel his bulbous tip dragging over your uvula ā€” testing your own talented mouth. heā€™s so glad that he taught you how to do that, you down on your knees, entrapping him in the searing heat of your hellfire mouth. if suguru could see you now, heā€™d only be able to picture the spawn of the devil and itā€™s cruel how you donā€™t even care. after everything heā€™s done for you.Ā 
your eyes flutter shut at the heaviness of satoruā€™s dick on your tongue, forcing you to taste the viscous precum that oozes down your throat in slow waves. the flavour is just as addictive as the scent of weed tangling with sex in the air ā€” you donā€™t see yourself going to rehab either.Ā 
eventually, you decide to pull off of satoru with a lewd pop, filling your lungs with the oxygen they so dearly missed. you find yourself light headed for deep-throating him for that long but you also find it to be completely worth it ā€” especially because of the look of pride satoru gives you. ā€œsuch a pretty little cockslut,ā€ he sucks his teeth, petting your head and brushing his hand over the square partings of your braids. ā€œyou look so happy sucking on my cock, baby. didnā€™t think you were gonna come up for air.ā€
in place of your mouth, your palm starts to stroke satoru at a steady pace ā€” slickening up the centre of your hand. heā€™s so big between your hands you can only imagine how heā€™ll feel stretching you out later tonight, causing drool to pool in your mouth like a hot flash flood as you catch your breath. vivid azure eyes flutter at the salacious mix of pain and pleasure when you give satoruā€™s shaft a teasing squeeze, using your other hand to give the same treatment to his plump, sore balls.
somehow, he manages to continue on muttering taunting you. ā€œcause iā€™m the only thing you need, right? who needs air to breathe when you have me feeding my cock into that hot, wet open mouth.ā€ he drags a thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it down as he looms over you ā€” breathing a cloud of cannabis smoke into you. shot-gunning you while you continue to jerk him off, it tastes of him and the alcohol in his breath and the weed on his tongue. he looks so good above you like this, hooded eyes and rose tinted cheeks. satoru is the perfect picture of godā€™s work and youā€™d be foolish to pretend that the sight of him didnā€™t make your cunt throb and a familiar feeling begin to stem in the pit of your stomach. ā€œgood fucking girl.ā€
he thrusts shallowly through your closed fist matching his rhythm to the tune in which you flick your wrist. you waste no time in working up a pace fast enough to have your lover melting like putty in your hands ā€” literally. you miss his cock in your mouth, how heavy it makes your tongue feel and paw at his spit slicked erection like a puppy begging for treats.Ā 
ā€œwhen you t-touch me like thatā€¦ā€ satoru drawls, notes of praise layered over his whiny voice makes your own juices gather at the crotch of your panties, makes your head spin but that might just be the weed. ā€œi could fucking cum, baby.ā€
sweat beads in large, fat droplets at gojoā€™s hairline, darkening the bright colour of his hair. the liquid soaks through his white shirt too, showcasing how fucked out he truly is. he thrusts again, and again, and again, chasing the high your hand gives his creamy aching cock. ā€œthen let me make you cum,ā€ you giggle, dropping your head slightly to make out with the sloppy tip of satoruā€™s dick, lapping happily at whatever he gives you. ā€œlet me taste you.ā€Ā 
a dirty laugh rings in the buzzing air and gojo throws the burly arm that holds his joint over his wet face, wiping it clean of all the sweat. in the next moment, he cups the youthful roundness to your pretty face ā€” calloused fingertips digging into your baby fat cheeks and sun-kissed skin. ā€œthatā€™s cute, but iā€™m not quite done with you yet, gorgeous.ā€ still hunched over you, gojo finds the milky trail his cock has left over the seam of your lips and kisses you ā€” dangerously slow. he simpers at the taste of himself on your lips, tangling with the plastic-like taste from the remainders of your gloss. he licks the sweat from your Cupidā€™s bow as well.Ā 
he sucks the precum from your tongue and licks harsh stripes into your mouth ā€” reaching further back to cup the back of your head, keeping you pressed against him. the both of you moan like idiots into one anotherā€™s mouths, drinking down the song of blissful laments and greedy gripes. the kiss seems to last forever, going on and on until you wince at the slight burn of satoruā€™s joint against your cheek, but you never stop jerking him off ā€” slick and dewy sounds of skin meeting skin providing the adlibs to your nasty, sex song.Ā 
only then does satoru let you go, though, his hips continue to dart forward and ram into your closed fist ā€” they contradict with his words. while gojo wants so much more, they chase his innate desire to cum. paint your pretty face or your talented tongue. their rhythm is assaulting and aberrant.Ā 
ā€œbut youā€™re so closeā€¦ā€ you tempt him with your silky voice, dipping your head and bobbing it once more to encompass his lengthy girth into your heated mouth again. dopamine sparks like explosions across the synapses in his brain when he witnesses your cheek bulge from the force of taking his tip in, his slit rubbing deliciously against the soft epithelium there. gojo doesnā€™t know how heā€™ll survive after tonight, when you force him to confess to your family and everything blows up in his face.Ā 
oh how heā€™ll miss your cute little mouth sucking down his cock like your life depends on it.
ā€œyouā€™re right, shitā€¦youā€™re right, princess,ā€ satoru pants avidly, taking another drag of the joint nestled between his shaky fingers ā€” he throws his head back as the grey smoke hits the fresh hair, tainting it with the scents and flavours from the kiss heā€™d given to your sinful mouth. ā€œi think i mightā€¦ohhhh ohhh. i really wannaā€”ā€œ he throws his head back and you can tell that your lover is really trying to stave off his orgasm to make this last forever.Ā 
you still in surprise when he jams a boot between your soaked thighs from underneath your dress. ā€œā€˜toru!ā€ comes your little gasp, grinding down on the cold leather if his shoe instinctively. he used the toe of his chelsea boot to pull back the hood of your clit, pressing down on the swollen bud to stimulate you. w-what are you doing?ā€
ā€œg-gotta make you cum before i do,ā€ he offers as a weak explanation all while spreading your puffy pussy lips apart.Ā 
you lavishly run your tongue through the opening of satoruā€™s cockhead, moaning at the taste and texture but continuing to hump his foot happily. ā€œsā€™a bit late for that, baby.ā€ you say with a sultry voice, low and sexy. ā€œyou can just eat me out afterwards.ā€Ā 
ā€œdo we evenā€¦? o-oh, okay. ā€˜m thereā€¦ i-iā€™m close,ā€ he trips and stumbles through his words, losing control of his taut hips that batter your poor, dripping fist while you spit down onto him. the frothy mix slides down and catches on the prominent veins spiralling around his dick to the base. which you give a squeeze. ā€œdo we even have time for that?ā€ gojo asks, struggling to breathe through the smoke from his joint.
ā€œi guess youā€™ll just have to hurry up ā€˜n cum for me. be quick, and weā€™ll see.ā€ you glance up at him, so debauched yet so innocent. like a pretty flower tended to and cared for (by suguru) except you have prickly, threatening thorns.Ā 
gojoā€™s release starts to sneak up on him, senses heightened by the recreational drug coursing through the healthy blood in his veins. ā€œy-youā€™re so bad. h-how the fuck did i get involved with you?ā€ he laughs loud and menacingly, whilst looking completely and utterly deranged. gojo doesnā€™t let up on stimulating your pussy, humming around the spliff tucked between his perfect lips when you gush in response to him. dirty, depraved little girl. ā€œgā€™na cum. gā€™na cum! let me cum. fuck, where do you want it?ā€Ā 
ā€œi can swallow, satoru. give it to me.ā€ your mouth and wrist begin to hurt ā€” but you find it all worth it to have satoru collapse above you, lose to the snap of the thin thread of his sanity. he grabs ahold of his own dick, taking over from you, and smiles brilliantly when you stick out your tongue just for him. it rolls over your pretty lower lip, cherry red from your ministrations and slightly swollen from it all.Ā 
one. two. three.Ā 
he taps his soiled cockhead against the slobbery palette of your tongue ā€” feeding you the last stream of his precum right before his big release. you press a hand to gojoā€™s tummy, feeling it fight and contact against your touch. he canā€™t hold back anymore, everything is too hot and too tight and too much. the roll up of weed between his teeth is gone, his beautiful eyes are hidden away from the world and before either of you know it ā€” his high is hitting him like a tonne of bricks.Ā 
just like that, gojo loses the steady stream of his hips and his orgasm rips through him, warm and viscous seed floods your mouth ā€” even seeping out at the corner of your bruised lips. it spurts copiously from his ravaged cock, painting your throat a shade of white too.Ā 
ā€œh-holy shit!ā€ satoru cries out loudly, tears springing to his eyes and gathering in his lashes. you donā€™t stop pumping at his dick until heā€™s done cumming, catching any misfires of his arousal with your tongue. you swallow in satisfaction and take to leaving small kisses against his tummy and hip bones until he stops trembling and returns to earth from the bright, silver moon that blessed his hair.Ā 
he quickly abandons his joint.
even though his legs are shaky and he can hardly breathe, static ringing loudly in his ears ā€” satoru finds the strength within himself to pick you up from the floor and manhandles you against the bathroom door. a streak of excitement courses through you while you set your palms flat on the surface, allowing satoru to squish your left cheek against it too.Ā 
youā€™re barely able to turn your head back to look at him, a shy and coy smile spreading across your lips when you catch a glimpse of the dark expression coasting over satoruā€™s handsome features. ā€œoh? whatā€™s gotten into you?ā€
ā€œyou think iā€™m just gonna let you make me cum like that, and iā€™m not gonna get you off?ā€ he answers your question with a question, growling out the syllables of each word impatiently. ā€œi wish i could just rip this damn dress offā€™a you. itā€™s such a shame we have to go out there and say hi to your family afterwards.ā€ using his foot, gojo kicks your ankles apart so that youā€™re nice and spread open for him ā€” he inhales nastily while pushing your skirts up to sit at your hips, breathing in the scent of your gooey cunt as it cries for him. cries to be filled up by him. if asked, he could recognise the sweet aroma from your sex like a bloodhound chasing after a target. heā€™s got you committed to memory, he loves you that much.
the tulle of your dress rivals the colour of his eyes even when darkened with debauchery ā€” it turns him on to know you wear his colour so proudly even in front of suguru. his hands shake as he messes with the fabric and you can just tell heā€™s fighting off the urge to tear it away from your body. if only you had the time. if only you were the only two people in the world.Ā 
without suguru, he could love up on you for hours with no issues. without suguru, you could perhaps be together without having to hide. without suguru ā€” well, you hate yourself for even thinking that way. heā€™s your brotherā€¦ and you need him. but clearly not as much as you need satoru to fill you up with something ā€” tongue, fingers, cock. youā€™d take it all right now. take all of him.Ā 
youā€™re distracted by the feel of your loverā€™s searing lips against your naked shoulders, swooping down to place kisses on them tenderly. theyā€™re more fluid, softer as satoruā€™s fingertips trickle over your breasts and pinch your pebbling nipples from over the bust of your dress. they cascade down to your waist next and suddenly your dress feels all too tight around your hips. your panties too sticky between your folds. you want them both off, and fast.Ā 
ā€œs-satoru,ā€ you murmur needily, arching your back into his broad chest ā€” shivering at the roughness of his shirt on your skin. ā€œsatoru, please.ā€ you add, hissing when his curious fingers delve beneath your skirts to press into the seam of your underwear, getting a feel for your wetness and how ready you are for him.
he shifts his fingers upwards, working them up to massage your clit in warm and rough circles ā€” distracting you from giving gojo a proper answer so he can play with you a little more. ā€œhmm?ā€ comes gojoā€™s lazy reply. his head drops to your neck again and his tongue leaves a snails trail of saliva over the path of kisses heā€™s left on your skin ā€œwhatā€™s the matter, baby? what do you need?ā€ he mumbles in a lower octave right into your ear, tufts of white hair tickle your skin, only causing goosebumps to rise across it in a ripple effect.Ā Ā 
pouting, your hips rise enough for him to possibly stick his hands down your panties to touch you properly ā€” but satoru chooses to be mean, moving up to rub your tummy teasingly. ā€œfor you toā€¦ mph, please.ā€Ā 
ā€œcome on now little one. what is it that youā€™re after?ā€ he scolds you playfully, toying with the little ribbon on the scalloped edge of your panties. you hate that him teasing you only serves to make you hush and turn you on more, a small trickle of your arousal running down your inner thigh. ā€œuse your words, be my good little girl,ā€ pinging your waistband against your stomach, satoru adds to the seed of desire growing there ā€” helping it to grow and nurturing it. ā€œmy fingers? my tongue?ā€Ā 
ā€œt-tongue!ā€ you squeal at the painful sting, not in pain ā€” because you like it when gojo hurts you a little bit. itā€™s like a punishment for betraying your older brother.Ā 
ā€œthank you for telling me, baby, your wish is my command.ā€ at first, satoru doesnā€™t make a move to eat you out ā€” instead, forces his hand deep into your panties to touch your clit, nice and raw. the silver haired man grins at the way you clench around nothing as he circles your tight little entrance and squirt small dribbles of your juices for him. ā€œfuck, youā€™re so fucking wet for me, even now. even after sucking my cock and grinding on my shoe. if only suguru could see how nasty you are right now.ā€ he could, at any moment geto could knock on that door and see you dripping on his best friendā€™s hand. the sentiment shouldnā€™t make you more aroused, you should make you feel horrified.Ā 
but as gojo dips a finger into your greedy little pussy, you realise that youā€™re just as depraved as him and that in the moment ā€” you really donā€™t care.Ā 
because all you feel is ecstasy.Ā 
pushing back onto the sole finger squirming about against your squishy insides, you decide that youā€™ll deal with geto and the consequences of fucking his best friend later ā€” rather, choosing to focus on how satoru immediately finds your g-spot because he knows your gummy, rippling walls like the backs of his masterful hands. the same hands and digits that skilfully trace the letters of his name into your pulsating clit.
ā€œmmphā€¦ oh fuck. f-fuck you!ā€ reaching between your soiled thighs and underneath a plethora of tulle, you grip gojoā€™s wrist to keep him in place, locked between your legs with his fingers stuffed in your cunt.
ā€œfuck me, baby?ā€ he coos to you in a patronising tone. ā€œoh, sweetheart. iā€™m about to fuck you. gonna make you cum so hard. make you see starsā€¦no, galaxies.ā€ satoru pulls his finger out and nudges your sticky thighs apart again just to make sure that he has the space, enough room to cup the entirety of your sopping mound from over the fabric. so hot and filthy and sappy for him. satoru laments in satisfaction, yanking your panties down in one fail swoop and watching with perverted cobalt eyes as strings of your slick tie your honeyed sex to the material.Ā 
sniffling, you turn your head back as far as itā€™ll go to stare down your boyfriend with big, wet eyes and a blubbering voice. ā€œplease... i canā€™t wait anymoreā€¦ā€ you hiccup like a petulant child who had their favourite toy stolen. pleading for something, anything to alleviate the unbearable yearning twisting in your gut.
your lover tsks in response, slowly descending to his knees behind you while his fingers coated in your succulent nectar grasp and knead at your fleshy ass ā€” streaking it with clear marks. ā€œokay, okayā€¦poor baby.ā€ gojo says airly in an attempt to console you like a mother would her crying infant. ā€œyouā€™re so needy, pretty girl. if anyone walking by could hear you, theyā€™d think i werenā€™t fucking you right.ā€ thatā€™s far from true and the both of you know it, satoru is the only one who could appease you, take care of all your sexual needs ā€” outside of thatā€¦youā€™re not so sure. youā€™re then reminded that suguru wouldnā€™t want satoru taking care of you ever. it makes your stomach flip with a confusing mix of lust and guilt.Ā 
ā€œyou want it that bad, donā€™t ya? you wanna feel good.ā€ the man purrs from behind you, salacious voice a breathā€™s width away from your cunt while he licks a trail up your inner thigh. the vibrations reverberate through your skin, dancing right up to your swollen, unattended clit. ā€œpromise iā€™ll make you feel so, so good.ā€ youā€™re almost embarrassed at how much you throb against gojoā€™s lips when he shoves his face into your pussy from behind, nudging his nose over your pleasure bud in circles until you open up for him like a flower in bloom.Ā 
you grind back against him passionately, rubbing your luscious and drenched folds all over his handsome face in an attempt to tame the itch of bliss that spreads through each and every one of your limbs. youā€™re tempting him but your sweet little whimpers and circling hips hardly coax satoru away from what heā€™s planning. his tongue doesnā€™t fuck itā€™s way past your quivering entrance like heā€™d said, but instead is replaced by a heavy hand smacking down hard on your pussy.Ā 
ā€œsatoru!ā€ you cry out in an awful mix of delight and shock, sounding a little unhinged. ā€œy-you promised!ā€
ā€œyeah, yeah. i knowā€¦ couldnā€™t help it. i just love it when you cry for me.ā€ juices run down his forearm as if heā€™s bitten into a ripened peach and satoru gets the perfect view of your juicy ass jiggling for him too. he amorously slurps up the trail, leaning forward with an appetite to eat you out for real this time and nestled his tongue between your twitching, titillating folds.Ā 
he repeats the process again and again and again, smacking your poor pussy until you really are crying ā€” chest heaving while you sob from both ends, tears ruining your perfect baby blue eyeshadow for the night. not having gojoā€™s mouth on you is like hell on earth, being spanked until youā€™re raw is torture too, especially when youā€™ve been holding back an orgasm for at least fifteen minutes. nevertheless, it all feels so fucking heavenly.Ā 
you search for a vice, something you can ground yourself with and settle for scraping your nails along the doors. satoru chuckles, tapping your sticky ass lovingly and even going as far as to kiss you there. ā€œalright, iā€™ve had my fun and iā€™m done messing with you baby,ā€ he hums sweetly, ā€œlean back for me, put it on me baby. let your man eat you out.ā€Ā 
wrapping a strong arm around your middle, gojo pulls you back onto his awaiting, eager mouth. the first thing he does is slot his mouth against the entirety of your soaked slit, moaning loud and tugging at your heartstrings while the vibrations send you spiralling. the very tip of his tongue slips past your entrance with slight resistance from how thick it is, wriggling about in order to search for that special spot that makes you see stars. he press kisses, wet and sloppy, miscalculated, between your swollen folds and slurps up whatever you leak as if youā€™re drooling valuable liquid gold.Ā 
not a drop can be or will be wasted on satoru gojo.Ā 
keenly, your hips canter back onto gojoā€™s face ā€” your plush ass cheeks jiggle with each thrust onto his tongue as though youā€™re reverse riding his cock. it fills you up just as nice too, warm and slippery against ecstasy inducing pinpoints along the ridges of your sluice walls. he canā€™t help but whine loudly at every roll of your pussy over his face, you taste so fucking good and heā€™ll drink you in as though youā€™re a tall glass of water. between sucks and slurps, your lover kitten licks at your core animalistically ā€” lascivious sounds from between your thighs topping off the air in the bathroom.
your cute little clit, prominent and hard because of blood rush and itā€™s burning desire, is next on satoruā€™s bucket list. the sharpness of his teeth latch onto it, rolling it between their two sets roughly until youā€™re clawing at your own throat for air ā€” trying your hardest not to scream and frighten the poor passers by. youā€™ve become such a mess and it pleases the white haired man, to see you gushing like a fruitful stream straight into his thirsty mouth, down his chin and cheeks ā€” even over his bobbing adamā€™s apple.
your hands leave a track of sweat as they slip down the door youā€™re plastered on and your chest rises and falls rapidly while youā€™re tongue fucked by your boyfriend. thereā€™s no room to breathe or to cope, satoruā€™s tongue pinned to your clit like a moth to candle flame ā€” drawing rough shapes on your clit before sweeping downwards just beneath your clenching hole to catch what oozes from it before it can hit the ground. oh, if only you could see him, his bright blue eyes just as watery and lovesick as your own and his face pink with a sun-burn type of blush from how hot he is for you.
if you tried hard enough, to listen in over the sounds of your wet pussy being sucked on for dear life as well as satoruā€™s content gripes and laments ā€” you can just about make out the vehement and delectable noises of him avariciously jerking off his pre-cum flowing cock while he prepares it to fuck you later on.
ā€œy-yeahā€¦oh my god, satoru. satoru donā€™t stop!ā€ the words feel tacky in your mouth as you try to get them out, communicate to gojo how good he makes you feel. he likes it when youā€™re vocal with him, and you the same, it makes you both feel heard and happy to know that youā€™re pleasing your partner. though, itā€™s a little difficult for you, when youā€™re so dizzy you donā€™t know whatā€™s up or downĀ  and you canā€™t help but to cream around the base of gojoā€™s tongue while it twists against your lush and gushy inner walls.Ā Ā 
briefly, your brotherā€™s best friend pulls away from your cunt ā€” remaining connected to you by a rope of clear elixir leaked from your tight hole. ā€œwouldnā€™t dream of it, pretty girl. godā€¦ i just wanna fuck you up. make you scream a little moreā€¦ā€ he snarls like a beast, his big hands roughly grabbing your ass as he spreads them ā€” watching the webs of arousal form while he peels each cheek away from one another. ā€œfucking hellā€¦ youā€™re drenched. but we canā€™t be too loud, donā€™t want someone to hear.ā€ thereā€™s a higher pitched lilt to gojoā€™s sacchariferous mithers as he delves back under your skirts, bobbing his entire head to drag his tongue between your fat pussy folds.Ā 
jolting at the sensation, which provides a welcome distraction from the fact that your familyā€¦your brother, are waiting obviously just metres away, your hips begin to chase the high youā€™ve been holding back for what seems like hours now. viciously, you ride satoruā€™s tongue like itā€™s a perfectly plump cock made to plug you full. ā€œuhuh, ohā€¦fuck yeah. ride it for me, pretty girl, ride my t-tongue. m-make yourself feel good. fuck my faceā€¦please, please, please.ā€ gojo begs you, even though most of his speech is muffled and youā€™re the one at his mercy.Ā 
shame should be running through you, not hunger for gojo, you shouldnā€™t want to drive your hips down onto his face so hard that his nose prods your clit over and over again. youā€™re so dirty, filthy and nasty for doing thisā€¦here of all places. but you canā€™t help the way gojo fucks you nor the way gojo feels. you donā€™t think you want to give that up for your brother. even if it costs you.
you canā€™t imagine a life without hearing satoruā€™s needy groans between your legs, the ones that set fireworks off at your tailbone ā€” where all of that unreleased pleasure builds up.Ā 
ā€œyouā€™re gonna cumā€¦ā€ he sighs dreamily. ā€œwant you to cum for me. let it go, let it all out fā€™me.ā€ gojo adds and from then on ā€” his mouth stays married to your needy cunt, focused on working you right to the edge and pushing you over. he licks you up and down, anchors you to his face with that same arm snaking its way around your waist again ā€” mostly to hold you up because youā€™re so shaky from the ecstasy in your veins that you canā€™t do it on your own.Ā Ā 
the whole ordeal is sickening and beautiful all at the same time ā€” no one knows your body like satoru does. no other man has any idea how to please you in the way that he does. they donā€™t know that you like it when he flicks his tongue against your sluice and sweet sex with an open mouth just so you can hear him eat you out. they have no idea about how sensitive you are when youā€™re close, that brushing up against your g-spot with the tip of gojoā€™s tongue is enough to have you spewing a fresh wave of your essence from your pathetic hole.
the delirium and rapture that mounts within you, like bricks stacked in bricks, becomes too much for you to bear ā€” some of your release already starting to trickle out of you in clear streams. ā€œā€˜m cumming, ā€˜toru!ā€ you warn him in a high pitched squeal before itā€™s too late, white noise filling your ears as you succumb to a powerful orgasm.Ā 
satoru gojo thinks that if he died right here, right now, he would be happy ā€” he wouldnā€™t even care. what, with the way you gush into his mouth like tidal waves of a wild tsunami, guilt flushed out of your system by tonnes of arousal. you clamp down on his tongue and practically suffocate the man, humping weakly at gojoā€™s face until your entire body is limp and you have absolutely nothing left to give.Ā 
once youā€™ve made it through the aftershocks of your high, satoru slowly retreats from between your thighs and makes his way to your body, spinning you around and capturing your lips in a delicately placed kiss before your brain has the sense to wake up. the night should end here, you should push him away and fix yourself up in a good enough state to return to suguru and the rest of your family to enjoy dinnerā€¦stop the guilt from bubbling up.Ā 
but satoru has always had a way about charming you.Ā 
ā€œweā€™re not finished yetā€¦ā€ he whispers to you passionately, his own hips pinning you to the bathroom door so you can feel his second erection rub against your tummy. ā€œthereā€™s more of you to ruin.ā€ he continued to lament, his lips stained with your arousal grazing your own before he licks into your mouth so you can taste what he tastes too. automatically, your body bows into his ā€” ready to have what heā€™s got waiting for you.Ā 
perhaps your mind is still lagging, because you feel it before you see it ā€” the tacky love taps of your loverā€™s cock against your stimulated sex, the lewd squelch that comes from gojoā€™s cockhead poised and ready to jut forward past your fluttering entrance. ā€œi want you so fucking badly, i gottaā€¦ need to be inside youā€¦ā€ he moves to hike your thigh up against his slender hips ā€” preparing to bottom out inside of you, but you stop him just before then with your nails digging into his sweat laden dress shirt.Ā 
ā€œcan i ride you?ā€ you ask him hazily.
ā€œwhat?ā€ gojo bleats, confused and enamoured all at once.
swallowing thickly, you repeat your words ā€” leisurely rolling your hips back and forth in a premature pussy job. being sure to rub yourself back and forth against the length of satoru. ā€œcan i ride you?ā€Ā 
ā€œfuck me,ā€ he sniggers breathlessly and says your name. ā€œarenā€™t you just full of surprises tonight? you can do whatever you want to me, baby. i can take it.ā€Ā 
with his permission, you undo the last of gojoā€™s buttons and smooth over the expanse of his place flesh, thumb at his budding pink nipples and then, form a necklace around his unmarred throat with your hands. he coughs and splutters in surprise but allows you to walk him backwards until the backs of his knees hit the toilet and he topples onto its seat in a sitting position.Ā 
your hand moves swiftly to cup gojoā€™s jaw as you look above him and stand between his thighs that instantly manspread to make room for his pretty little baby between them. one of your perfectly manicured nails drags down his bottom lip, then becomes a finger that delves deep into the heat of his mouth. ā€œyouā€™reā€¦ youā€™re beautiful,ā€ he gargles around the digit, staring deep into your soulful brown eyes. ā€œand i adore you.ā€ Ā itā€™s true. youā€™re the most perfect thing heā€™s ever seen even if your braids are askew and your dress is ruffled and your makeup is almost entirely gone.Ā 
even when you have satoru gojo in a choke hold like this youā€™re still stunning to him. not one thing could tarnish such rare beauty that you posses. if the end of his life came in this moment, he wouldnā€™t even mind. he wonders if youā€™re aware of that fact or still believe the little voice in your mind telling you that heā€™s just using you.
gojo was bad with words, he knows that. he often got timings wrong and said things at the wrong time (like now when he tries to tell you that he loves you but in his own words, hence ā€˜adoreā€™) but he always means them. he can tell that youā€™re getting in your head right now, standing above him ā€” trying to decipher if heā€™s telling the truth. if he wanted you, you wished heā€™d say he wanted you. explicitly.Ā 
he wished that he could tell you explicitly, but heā€™s so fucked up in the head that he struggles.Ā 
so instead, satoru takes your hand in his (the one in his mouth) and moves it far back enough so that he can kiss your knuckles sweetly. a gesture to prove his truth to you. one to prove how much he loves you.Ā 
the hard expression on your face softens and you drop to satoruā€™s lap ā€” straddling him so that his girth presses directly against your juicy cunt like before and your thighs are either side of his. ā€œthen make love to me,ā€ you goad him, circling your hips and chasing the delicious burn of his dick pressing into you ā€” a feeling that you miss all the time but can never get used to. ā€œlove me like you mean it.ā€Ā 
itā€™s not long before satoru is at your neck again, leaving a trail of gentle kisses along its plaines. ā€œi can do that. i can give that to you. do you think youā€™ll be able to take it?ā€ he questions lightly, a large hand splaying across your back ā€” prepared to guide your movements.
ā€œy-yeahā€¦ ā€˜m ready.ā€ you exhale carefully, your mind pleasantly fuzzy as gojo grabs onto your ass and encourages you to raise your hips for him. the other hand now holds onto his dripping dick to position it at your entrance ā€” he runs it through your soaked folds a couple times and dips in and out of your hole. you make such a cute little noise when satoru starts to push into you, sucking him in so well and clenching around the circumference of his bulbous tip as if to trap him inside before youā€™ve managed to sink down on him. it continues like that for a little while, satoru holding you up by your ass or your thighs while he patiently waits for you to take him the rest of the way.Ā 
he fucks you gently with the tip at first, getting you used to the delicious stretch to your pussy ā€” despite the resistance he meets from how tight you are.
ā€œthere you go babyā€¦you can take over now. sink down on me when youā€™re able to, kay?ā€ satoru peppers your face in amusement while he watches you try to stabilise your breathing. thereā€™s a long way to go and youā€™re still so sensitive from your last orgasm. ā€œhm, youā€™re so fuckinā€™ cute.ā€ he muses, nipping at your cheek without any real bite.
ā€œs-shut up,ā€ you state through a pout, controlling your tears which only make your love snort affectionately. crescent moons from your nails take their shape in satoruā€™s milky shoulders, leaving pink indents in place as you slide further down his cock, taking inch by inch until youā€™re comfortably nestled at his balls. ā€œsatoruā€¦whyā€™s there so much of you?ā€ in reality, youā€™re not actually complainingĀ  ā€” content with your ribbed walls kissing the prominent veins on his shaft. you clench around him experimentally, sending a ripple of desire through the man at your mercy and finally let him bottom out inside of you as your juices run down him.Ā 
he does nothing but smile lazily up at you, taking your wrists and coordinating them to rest on his chest for you to use as more comfortable leverage. as much as you like the way heā€™s pressed up against your insides ā€” you find the strength to peel your hips away from satoruā€™s clothed thighs and thrust back down with a resounding, wet slap that echoes throughout the restaurant bathroom.Ā 
it should be criminal, maybe even illegal, how warm, tight and wet you are ā€” as if youā€™re a virgin whoā€™s never been fucked before. he splutters and stammers as his overstimulated cockhead nudges against your silken walls and they quiver around him feverishly. he could charge you with a life sentence, keeping him jailed in your pretty pussy for life. ā€œi know i said iā€™d let you ride me but god,ā€ he whispers, trailing his fingers up the front of your dress. just as ice cold and ringed fingers circle your areolas from over the fabric, satoru thrusts up into you ā€” driven insane by lust and desire, his eyes disappear onto the dark night of his skull. ā€œcant help itā€¦ i wanna make you feel good. wanna fuck you.ā€Ā 
thereā€™s no time for you to respond, no chance to wrack your brain for a witty comeback because youā€™re too busy focusing on trying to keep yourself seated in gojoā€™s lap. your eyes become misty and satoruā€™s voice becomes murky, breaths of exertion coasting over your lips and your skin as he sets a constant, almost bullying, pace to his slender hips as they barrage into your sex. itā€™s hard enough to pull squelching sounds from your messy pussy, and enough for the sound of his breederā€™s balls to reverberate between your working bodies.
in this position, satoru is able to hit deep ā€” churn your gummy insides up and hit every pleasure spot your tiny fingers canā€™t reach. youā€™re a slumped and helpless mess in his lap, pathetic, since you were the one who wanted to be on top in the first place. but neither of you mind it, satoru likes being able to take care of you like this, watch every contortion of your angelic face and twitch of your lips and flutter of your lashes as he pounds into you from below.Ā 
ā€œthatā€™s itā€¦ thatā€™s it pretty girl,ā€ he coos to you so softly, glancing up at you with massive silvery-blue eyes holding pure fixation for you. ā€œyou want it so bad, letting me have you like this. i love it, i love yoā€”ā€ he cuts himself off with a deep growl and reaches around the meat at your waist, your soft tummy as well as your plentiful skirts to graze your clit as arousal pearls over it ā€” each brush at the swelling nub is calculated and catered exactly how you like, especially after falling into sheets with him so many times over the last two years. his touch treads softly on your body while he takes it slow, passionately ruining your insides.Ā 
you hiccup and a light sparks behind the sapphire frame of your loverā€™s eyes. he repeats the action, only this time pinching your clit before he carefully pulls you close and angles his hips into your g-spot a little more ā€” worshipping your body like a queen on her throne. ā€œlisten to that baby, your pussy sounds so pretty taking all of me.ā€ gojo punctuates his words with deep, purposeful movements that have his achingly hot cock repeatedly jamming against that one particular spot. ā€œyou need it like this, need me to always take the lead, hm? you act like youā€™re such a big girl, but really youā€™re just my needy little one.ā€Ā 
satoru feeds you a mix of praise and light condescending remarks, keeping you under his spell just like always has. as if he were a pied piper using his darling moans to draw you in. he keeps you pacified like a baby with languid thrusts and sloppy kisses all over ā€” barely giving you a moment to think independently. the hand wrapped around your waist keeps you anchored to gojo, teaching you dance in a sensual sticky grind that only lovers know how to do.
dropping your forehead to rest against his, you let out a blissful whimper. ā€œsā€™not fair, you alwaysā€¦ ah f-fuck! you always take control from me,ā€ youā€™re supposed to be the one using satoru. using him to take your mind off of suguru while you remind the man of all the reasons he should love you openly and publicly. but, like always, you fall victim to the touch which causes you to blossom above satoru and the candied voice he uses that make sweet nectar pour from your abused little hole.
ā€œitā€™s cause you adore me,ā€ gojo tells you in a rough voice. states it like itā€™s fact written in a history book for lovers. you canā€™t and donā€™t have time to deny him ā€” managing a weak whine of annoyance when his lips attach to the cliffs of your collar bones. his tongue rolls saliva over the area where he canā€™t leave a physical mark, knowing that the white hot sensation will stick with you all night ā€” making it just as good as any other forbidden hickey or stolen love bite. ā€œyou love me, donā€™t you?ā€Ā 
ā€œg-god yes!ā€ neither of you have any idea what exactly it is youā€™re saying yes to ā€” whether it be the way he pounds at your puffy, swollen mound or saying that you love him, it doesnā€™t really matter. youā€™re both too far gone. you finally start to grind down on him again, using all of your strength to push past your overstimulation and match satoruā€™s toe-curling stream of thrusts, syncing up your cantering hips. every stroke of his cock within the depths of your silken, pulsating cunt earns you a muffled whine from him.Ā 
a fresh red tint begins to glow under the surface of your loverā€™s pale skin, the blood coursing through his veins and coagulating at his cheeks is dotted with love and lust hormones just like your own. the fact that heā€™s barely able to pull out of your selfish pussy means that thereā€™s a shine to his polyester clad thighs from your juices ā€” the glisten barely catching under the artificial light in the bathroom.Ā 
everything overwhelms you, you feel like youā€™re drowning. fat beads of precum between your sore thighs begin to form because youā€™re clenching down on gojo so hard, his cock even fights itā€™s way to pull out of your addictive heat. you canā€™t let him go, your body wonā€™t let him go, dragging him into the routine of crazy intense and creamy sex ā€” bulbous and purpling cockhead consistently digging into your g-spot. everything is so wrong but it feels so right ā€” it doesnā€™t make any sense but you feel so nice.Ā 
ā€œyannoā€¦ā€ satoru slurs over the heavy weight of saliva spreading through his mouth while he runs it. ā€œā€˜m so fucking luckyā€¦ to be the only man who gets to see you like this. whining so sweetly, legs all shaky, pussy so fucking wet.ā€ appreciatively, his cruel cerulean gaze drops to where his milky cock disappears into your fat pussy and his digits move from your clit to spread your netherlips apart, putting the glaze of your essence that coats his rock hard girth on display.Ā 
gojo truly is so very lucky, to be the only man with the pleasure of jackhammering into you to his hearts content. heā€™s so lucky that there isnā€™t anyone else you want aside from him, that all you want his for him to be better for you. he really should work on that. especially if he wants to be the only one who lives and breathes you for the rest of forever. on the contrary, you hate that he only sees your worth to him while fucking you ā€” it makes bitterness simmer underneath the absolute depraved ecstasy you feel.Ā 
but youā€™re not giving satoru gojo up. not in this lifetime.Ā 
taking advantage of your hands planted firmly against gojoā€™s broad chest ā€” you peel your sweaty thighs away from gojoā€™s trembling ones, his cock being tugged away from the snugness of your oozing, sopping mound. an incredulous gasp lays wet on the seam of the silver haired manā€™s lips. he misses you. he wants you so bad and thereā€™s no greater relief than when you slam back down onto his cock, hips cantering down so fast that he easily hits your womb. the force makes you both drool and you throw yourself forward to capture gojo in a messianic kiss between two lovers.Ā 
euphoria chillingly slips into your veins while you rock yourself against gojo feverishly, both of your chests heaving erratically from your love making. ā€œyouā€¦you talk too much,ā€ you mumble into his mouth, tongue rolling over his as if to swipe the words from his tongue. if he says anymore you wonā€™t last any longer. you lick the salt from his lips, an obsessive glint in your eye ā€” because satoru gojo is all that you want. ā€œtalk way too muchā€¦just love me, just fuck me.ā€Ā 
satoru wants to love you, itā€™s like heā€™s genetically coded to. he canā€™t imagine being this in love with anyone else aside from you ā€” but thereā€™s a selfish mental block on his mind that stops him from giving you the commitment you need. right now, in this moment, heā€™ll give you the pieces of himself that he can. heā€™ll make love to you, heā€™ll make you see stars and galaxies, heā€™ll do whatever he can to make you happy right here, right now.Ā 
sweat from the exertion of rutting into you pins his silvering locks to his forehead ā€” it drips down the side of gojoā€™s face which you lovingly lick. your lover wraps both of his arms around your waist and pulls you in so that you nestle on his chest ā€” giving you the leverage you need to pound yourself on curve of his cock, seeping viscous honey down his shaft. the scene is obscene, but thereā€™s love and adoration buzzing between your tangled limbs.Ā 
hearts sprinkle themselves amongst the flecks in your eyes as you look up at gojo and your pupils dilate at the chorus of skin slapping on skin, the pap pap pap of your swollen mound while your lover buries himself deep in your warmth ā€” pulling unholy sounds from your angelic body. the toilet he sits on creaks beneath the force of your ministrations, threatening to break just like you might on top of your lover.Ā 
ā€œiā€™d do anything for you, a-anything you wanted,ā€ gojo counters, quivering beneath you with his hair sticking to your sweltering skin. itā€™s true, heā€™d rip stars from the sky and skyscrapers to the ground. his heart chases after your every desire. between frenzied bucks and mismatched smooches, the man swipes his fingertips over your pulsating clit ā€” rubbing fat droplets of creamy precum into your folds and the sensitive nub. the whole time, he keeps you stuffed full of his cock, hardly pulling out each time you lift and drop yourself on his dick.Ā 
mewling like a pornstar, your hands shoot upwards and wring themselves in moonlight hair ā€” a tell tale sign that youā€™re getting closer and closer to reaching cloud nine. ā€œy-yeah? then make me cum, l-let me make a mess on your cock. please.ā€ you plead, the back and forth of your cunt over gojoā€™s lap tampering with your system by sending orgasmic shockwaves through you.Ā 
ā€œi gotcha, anything for you, beautiful. s-shit!ā€ using his free hand, gojo grabs at the fat of your ass and pulls you up and down on his girth ā€” giving him the room to pummel your pussy hard and fast. ā€œyou squeeze me real tight when i act all desperate for you.ā€Ā 
ā€œa-arenā€™t you? o-oh ā€˜toru, right there!ā€ you exclaim and ask all at once in one high pitched moan, failing to press for an answer while gojo bullies his way through your walls and right up to your womb. your clit smears over his hipbone, painting him with tube dulcet juices.Ā 
gojo builds up momentum inside of you, dragging his seedy tip along your ravaged walls from how deep heā€™s able to get inside of you. ā€œi amā€¦ only god knows that i am. fuck, i wanna be yours, want this to last forever,ā€ white starts to froth at the base of his dick, streaking all over your soiled folds as your cunt squirts copious amounts of essence each time his balls clap against you. ā€œthink iā€™m gonna fuckinā€™ cum, might be inside.ā€Ā 
ā€œsatoru pleaseā€¦ā€ your hips stutter above his, choking out gojoā€™s cock for fear life in an attempt to get him to fill you up to the brim with his seed. you tear up and he barely lets you off his twitching erection.Ā 
ā€œi know baby, i fucking know ā€” iā€™m right there with you. hold onto me. my fucking baby.ā€ with the last of his energy, satoru assaults your pussy with a barrage of desperate thrusts, jerking you about in his lap. thatā€™s all either of you need before youā€™re thrown over the edge, rendering you limp, cum soaked messes in one anotherā€™s arms. the ropes in your lower tummy, that have been burning this entire time, finally begins to unravel.
the world around you blurs, your brain fucking lags and you actually fucking squirt. a scream rips through you and burns at the edges of your voice, following through your uncontrollable shakes. clear streams of arousal shoot from your sloppy, dirty cunt and pool in satoruā€™s dress pants ā€” soaking him to the bone.Ā 
ā€œthatā€™s it baby, give it to me. all of it, make a mess ā€” want it all over me.ā€ satoru goads hoarsely, losing control of his thrusts until they become uncoordinated and lackadaisical. ā€œa-ah! oh! holy shit, mmm ā€˜m cumming baby. f-for youā€¦ā€ the aftershocks of your high and little twitches from your heavenly hole trigger the white haired manā€™s orgasm. right before his release, his hand reaches up from toying with your sex to grab at your sapphire pendant ā€” using the chain to yank you up into a sensual lip lock that seals his fate, practically pulling it off of you while you make out through his high.
hot, sticky and thick ropes of white seed spill into you ā€” thereā€™s even so much of it that it overflows from your tiny entrance and oozes against your raw mound. youā€™re still cumming, forcing satoru out of you while he continues to flood your womb ā€” what doesnā€™t make it is left to smear over your thighs and poofy dress, glazing you in viscous cum.Ā 
still releasing in spurts, satoru carefully pulls out of you and leans back against the cool tile of the bathroom wall so that you slump against his chest ā€” relaxed. warm content simmers in the air between your maze of limbs and you leak against one another sweetly.Ā 
ā€œso much for fixing your necklace,ā€ satoru jests over the static itching at your brain while you come down from your earth-shattering high.
you offer him up a dopey smile, all of the tension from earlier on in the night melting away when you look at him. ā€œweā€™ll have to hide it from suguru, so he doesnā€™t notice. weā€™ve been gone for a while too.ā€ no matter what gojo puts you through, itā€™s always worth it for the way he makes you feel after sex.Ā 
warm, cherished and cared for.Ā 
just like suguru would want you to be.Ā 
ā€œwell, whose fault is that, little one?ā€ a chaste kiss is pressed against your hairline as satoru helps you to sit up in his lap ā€” drawing back slightly to give you a once over and mirroring the way you grin at him with a toothy smirk. ā€œlittle miss ā€˜we donā€™t have time.ā€™ ā€” iā€™ll have to fix your make up, canā€™t have you walking back out there like iā€™ve just rocked your shit.ā€Ā 
despite his crude words, satoruā€™s gesture makes your chest bristle with happiness. ā€œyouā€™re an idiot, satoru gojo.ā€Ā 
ā€œan idiot that you adore. an idiot who you like way too much,ā€Ā  he fires back childishly. ā€œcā€™mere, let me get rid of the mess i made of you.ā€Ā 
you do, like him too much, a little too much for your own good.Ā 
itā€™s twisted, the mere fact that satoru has such a hold on your heart that you canā€™t seem to escape no matter how hard you tryā€” and it only worsens when heā€™s good to you like this. so good with the way he helps you clean up, tends to your ruffled dress, redoes your smudged makeup and jokes with you while he dries his sex stained pants under the hand drier before you go back out to meet your family.Ā 
youā€™re a love sick fool when it comes to him.Ā 
and you have no idea how much thatā€™s going to change.Ā 
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suguru geto was not an idiot.Ā 
his numerous academic accolades are enough evidence of that. in highschol he graduated with a GPA of 4.0% which only escalated by the time he got to college ā€” which was like a breeze to him.Ā  by the time heā€™d finished his four year degree, there was an industry opportunity waiting for geto on the other side of all of his hard work and efforts.Ā 
it pleased him to know that people thought highly of his skills, appreciated the knit and grit and blood, sweat and tears he put into his work. he had a passion for seeking the truth, discovering the reasons and meanings for peopleā€™s actions ā€” it was suguruā€™s calling. thatā€™s why he became a criminal defence lawyer.Ā 
why do people do what they do? why do people lie? why do people run and hide?Ā 
with all of suguru getoā€™s smarts and analytical skills ā€” his ability it to think critically, you would think heā€™d have it all figured out by now.Ā 
suguru geto was not stupid.
so why is it that he canā€™t figure out whatā€™s wrong with you? why youā€™ve been so skittish and why this entire night? he knows you, his baby sister, like you were his own flesh and blood. like you were the back of his slightly calloused and hard working hand. you may have been adopted, you may not share the same DNA but suguru has lived with you and been raised with you long enough to know how your genetic code reacts to certain pressures and scenarios and situations.
youā€™re his little sister for christā€™s sake.Ā 
as you make your way back to your familyā€™s designated table, weaving between pedigree bred children and their families, waiters and waitresses working tired on their feet ā€” he notices how the tension youā€™d been experiencing the whole night has suddenly dissipated from your body as if it were never there. your shoulders have dropped, your movements flow as loosely as your baby blue cupcake dress does, your eyes are bright and full of an energy suguru has only seen once in someone else.Ā 
another soul heā€™s grown up with.Ā 
the very idea makes him feel ill, the food on his plate suddenly becoming unappealing and bitter against the insides of his mouth. youā€™re notā€¦ you would neverā€¦Ā 
ā€œhi,ā€ you greet the table tentatively, the corners of your cocoa painted lips quirking up into a small smile. ā€œdid i miss anything?ā€Ā 
suguru forgoes answering you to ask his own question. ā€œwhere have you been?ā€Ā 
the chatter at your table dies down only just as your parents register your presence with the group once more ā€” joining in on your conversation with your brother like a car merging lanes.Ā 
ā€œoh! i was just in the bathroomā€¦ you know, girl stuff. powdering my nose.ā€ you offer up as an excuse, twirling the end of your curled braids between your gentle fingers. a habit your brother knows youā€™ve picked up when youā€™re shy, yet, content. ā€œyou know how it goes.ā€Ā 
his dark eyes sweep over your face. suguru doesnā€™t know much about make-up, just that you like doing it. he had been the one to get you your first eyeshadow palette in your teen years but thatā€™s as far as he goes. everything seems to be in place, perfect, youā€™re beautiful as you always have been.
but thereā€™s a slight smudge to your lip combo that bleeds just past the curve of your cupidā€™s bow ā€” out of place enough for geto to notice. the colour is different too. black instead of brown, as if youā€™ve mixed up the lipsticks in a rush.
suguru tries not to dwell. he really does. dropping the topic and retreating to his dinner plate while you idly chat to your parents about your new job but something in his gut stirs ā€” he remembers something.Ā 
gojo is nowhere to be seen and your pendent is missing.
you canā€™t. youā€™d neverā€¦
as if on cue, the moonlight man returns to the party, loudly pulling out his seat and taking his place next to you once again. gojoā€™s hair is a mess, much messier than it was beforeā€¦ as if someone had roughed it up with desperate fingers. your chocolaty lip colour is smeared along his neck in deconstructed lip prints as if heā€™d tried to wash them away, dotted along the collar of his crisp white shirt too. the contrast of the colours make it blatantly obvious whatā€™s been going on too. the silver chain of your necklace hangs freely from his pocket.
ā€œdid i miss anything?ā€ he asks casually, despite how not-put-together he looks ā€” much less in comparison to you, whoā€™d returned to dinner first.Ā 
it makes getoā€™s skin itch and crawl, the similarity between your words and gojoā€™s. he canā€™t even think to reply, yet the words come tumbling out before he can stop them.
ā€œwouldnā€™t you like to know,ā€ suguru snaps callously. ā€œwhere have you been?ā€
ā€œwanted to see if the little miss made it back to the table alright.ā€ gojo lies smoothly, resting a large hand on your shoulder. geto notes the way he strokes your neck with his thumb. ā€œyou know how she is, clueless without suguru, right?ā€Ā 
your parents and gojo burst out into charmed laughter, adding to the bustle and ambience of the restaurant. suguruā€™s face only sours as your father chimeā€™s in next. ā€œthis one probably raised her better than i did. he was so excited to have a little sister, wouldnā€™t go anywhere without her.ā€ itā€™s the alcohol that causes your father to blurt out the embarrassing memory ā€” itā€™s sweet and cherished, but does nothing to help ease your brotherā€™s boiling fury as heā€™s patted on the back by his dad.
pet like a dog getting a treat.
a reward for taking care of you all these years.
ā€œyeah, raised her to be smart and proper. thatā€™s why sheā€™s a graduate and not mooching off of us anymore.ā€ geto seethes from your left.
from your right, satoru reaches for his crystal glass for a drink ā€” only to realise that itā€™s empty. he next reaches for the bottle of moscato ordered for the table, and pours some for himself until it levels out at the rim of his glass. ā€œouch suguru, way to hit a man where it hurts,ā€ your ā€˜boyfriendā€™ whines petulantly, sipping the surface of his drink. ā€œyou know i work for dad now, youā€™d be so proud. still making money, not mooching off of his.ā€Ā 
you fiddle with your cutlery, the silverware awkwardly clattering against your plate while you finish off the steak youā€™d ordered. then, your mother breaks the tension.
ā€œdoes anybody want to order dessert?ā€
satoru is quick to jump on her distraction train ā€” enthusiastically nodding his head with silver locks flying about the place. ā€œoh you know me, ma. i love a sweet lilā€™ thing, got a huge sweet tooth.ā€ satoru chirps excitedly ā€” as chipper as can be.
ā€œthat you do dear boy, pick out anything youā€™d like.ā€ your dad says in turn.
the silver haired stray at your table pretends to ponder before clapping his hands together ā€” causing both you and geto to jerk at the sound.Ā 
ā€œdaifuku!ā€Ā 
ā€œoh, thatā€™s been a recent favourite of our little girlā€™s, hasn't it darling?ā€ mum gushes proudly. ā€œreminds me so much of her.ā€
the anxiety in the back of your mind spikes to an all time high as your dragged into the conversation once more ā€” suguru hot on your trail, close to uncovering it all. you shrink under the burning gazes of everyone at the table ā€” your lover, your parents and your brother. satoru, of course, takes amusement in knowing you crave his favourite sweet even when youā€™re apart. geto is less than impressed.Ā 
you nod and gojo lets out a laugh that sets your soul alight and sends a shiver down your spine. ā€œthatā€™s right, our girl is just the sweetest little thing.ā€ he praises you, resting his cheek on a closed fist, gojoā€™s elbow sitting comfortably on the table while he stares over at you dreamily.
suguru geto was not a fool.
he could see right through the happenings before his very eyes. the way you looked up at satoru, your expression docile and pure, dark eyes glimmering and brimming with so much idolisation and worship for satoru, it was a look suguru had seen many times before. it was a look previously saved only for him ā€” from little sister to older brother.Ā 
you stare up at gojo like he holds all of the worldā€™s secrets, like he could keep you safe from any and all types of harm, like you love him.
ā€œiā€™ll have what heā€™s having,ā€ geto hears you murmuring airily, but thereā€™s static ringing in his ears and red flashing before his eyes ā€” heā€™s that pissed off at his sudden realisation.Ā 
itā€™s only when his gaze flits to his best friend, his one and only, satoru gojo that the dam breaks and all of suguruā€™s emotions and epiphanies from the night come bursting out in shades of white hot fury. because satoru matches your expression, his blue ocean eyes drown you in love and he looks as though heā€™s won the fucking lottery. hazily and smugly grinning at you while the table discusses desserts.
the final puzzle piece that suguru has been looking for clicks into place.Ā 
it all hits him like a truck.
ā€œoh you slick motherfuckerā€¦ā€ suguru growls slowly, his words fighting through their prison of his gritted pearly white teeth. the syllables and their sound contrast heavily with the abrupt way in which your darker haired sibling stands from his chair ā€” almost sending it flying to the floor as he slams a fist down onto the table. his other hand points accusingly towards your lover, and everyoneā€™s attention falls on him.Ā 
ā€œsuguru what are youā€”?ā€
ā€œyou fucked her. didnā€™t you?ā€
expressions of incredulousness morph on the faces of your dinner guests ( yourself included ), shocked by getoā€™s bellowing voice and stone cold glare. not to mention the callousness of his words. he knows. and itā€™s like youā€™ve been doused in a bucket of ice water. he knows what you and satoru have been up to, the smoke has cleared and you can no longer hide from him.Ā 
ā€œsuguru geto, mind your manners!ā€ one of your parents snaps, but you canā€™t quite place the voice ā€” every sound in the restaurant blurs into one and your head swims with a dangerous mix of panic and alcohol. he knows. your mind screams, the pink and squishy organ dully thumping against itā€™s calcium cage ā€” your skull.Ā 
ā€œfuck manners,ā€ he barks, suguruā€™s mouth beginning to froth like a dog rabid with rabies. his face hardens as if itā€™s been set in stone, while a storm clouds getoā€™s previously welcoming eyes. ā€œanswer my question, satoru.ā€
innocently, yet with an air of confidence and patronisation, gojo tilts his head to the side like that of a puppy ā€” his bright white teeth put on display as he smiles slow and softly as if to diffuse the situation with his charm. ā€œi donā€™t know what youā€™re talking aboutā€”ā€œ
ā€œbullshit!ā€ suguru fires back, his wrath beginning to boil over the edge like the restaurantā€™s signature slow cooked stew. he begins to roll up the white sleeves of his dress shirt ā€” as if heā€™s preparing for a fight. one with his best friend. once the material is snug around the bulge in his bicep, your brother slams his hands down on the table once again, causing heads to turn and cutlery to clatter about the place. ā€œthatā€™s fucking bullshit satoru and you know it. i can see it on you. i can smell it on you.ā€
in all your years of living with the geto family, becoming a part of it and finding your sense of belonging with them ā€” youā€™ve never seen your brother this angry, let alone see such red hot rage directed at someone he cares about. someone you care about too.Ā 
ā€œsugu,ā€ you whimper and stand, trying to direct his attention away from your lover boy. ā€œsuguru itā€™s okay. itā€™s not what it looks likeā€”!ā€Ā 
another slam of his hands on the table slices through your meek words ā€” causing you to jump out of your skin.Ā 
swirling black eyes hideous with anger and upset switch their attention to you ā€” tearing you apart underneath their judgemental gaze. suguru has never looked at you like that. heā€™s always been so good to you, never been mad at you without cause or at least let you seen so. that was until today.
ā€œi wasnā€™t fucking talking to you. sit down and keep quiet. let your big brother handle this.ā€ geto spits, the pain of his worded venom shooting painfully to your heart ā€” causing tears to sting at your waterline.Ā 
ā€œdonā€™t fucking talk to her like that.ā€ satoru keeps his voice low, in a tone youā€™ve only ever heard him use with the guys hitting on you at college. itā€™s dark and threatening, but most of all, protective. protective over you. you never thought it would be thrown at suguru. he stands up too while you sink back down, catching a glimpse of your parentsā€™ worried stares from across the table.
onlookers in the restaurant are no different.Ā 
ā€œso, you think you can speak for her now? since when did you two get so close, hm? did you two fuck? did i hit a sore spot, gojo? ā€ a rich, sarcastic laugh reverberates from getoā€™s vocal chords. the whole scenario isā€¦entertaining to him. his best friend, his brother of all people, fucking with his little sister ā€” knowing how it would make him feel.Ā 
thereā€™s a beat of silence across the dinner table, consisting of nothing but death glares and heaving chests.
but then all of a sudden, satoru leans forward with his palms pressed flat against the tableā€™s surface ā€” a sick smile twisting on his ever-soft and glossy pink lips as he jeers back at the younger male, taunting suguru.Ā 
ā€œoh iā€™ve been hitting her spots alright.ā€
you feel like youā€™ve been doused in cold once again, the blood that had been flushing to your face, now freezing in your veins. the fact that satoru would reveal intimate details of your love or sex life to the light of day (let alone your older brother) should make you fall ill. yet, in some sick and twisted way it makes butterflies flap their dainty wings in your lower tummy.Ā 
because heā€™s admitting it, that he wants to be with you, to suguruā€™s face.Ā 
ā€œweā€™ve been closer than you could have ever imagined, suguru. nice and close, she outta have been swallowing me down.ā€ satoru doubles down, because once he starts running his mouth, he can never stop.Ā 
stopping them both now would be futile. but your parents are watching, other guests and staff are watching. itā€™s humiliating. having the two men you care about most go at each other like this. ā€œsatoru!ā€ you squeal, desperate.
ā€œoh you nasty motherfucker. so you did sleep with my sister.ā€ geto growls before turning to you, furious. ā€œhow long? and donā€™t you dare lie to me.ā€Ā 
ā€œs-sugu, please. not here.ā€ you start with a trembling voice, tears slipping down your cheeks freely while you look between the two men.Ā 
ā€œi said how long!ā€Ā 
the way your brother raises his voice at you causes you to flinch back into your shell and for satoru to push his way between you both protectively. he would never let you get hurt, he had promised you that. even if he had done so himself. he wasnā€™t about to let suguru wound you too.Ā 
ā€œyā€™got cotton between your ears or something, suguru?ā€ satoru makes himself tall and intimidating, towering over suguru. it was something that worked with everyone, scared them off from the person that was his and the one that he loved ā€” you. but suguru wasnā€™t buying that act. ā€œi said. stop. fucking. talking to her like that.ā€ each of his menacing words are punctuated by a shove to your brotherā€™s chest, each one taking a swing at your heart. you hate to see them hurting each other, you hate being in the middle of it all. suguru takes it all, as if heā€™s numb from the news, staggering back into another familyā€™s table ā€” causing their glasses and dishes to collide and clatter about until it stops and gojo grabs at the collar of getoā€™s shirt. ā€œif youā€™re gonna be mad and yell at someone, be mad at me.ā€Ā 
satoru adjusts his grip on your brother, but his blue eyes beg for him to let it go. for you to all go home and figure this out somewhere else.Ā 
suguru just canā€™t. his mind canā€™t wrap around the idea that youā€™ve been leaning on someone else this whole time ā€” using someone else. sleeping with his best friend all this time. itā€™s not in his nature to be violent, geto has been perfect all his life and never veered from the correct path. he would never hit anyone. heā€™s never felt the urge to put his hands on someone, unlike satoru. but in that moment, looking at his best friend and feeling the blood pour from the open wound in his chest.Ā 
exasperated by the stab wound to the back, from both you and satoru.
ā€œyouā€™re right,ā€ the words taste like acid on suguruā€™s tongue as he grasps at gojoā€™s own collar with his green hand. never in a million years did he picture himself hating someone he loved with his whole heart. it physically pains him to even think about resenting you. it makes his vision shake and bleed with a dark red, he feels so irrevocably angry that he might hurt someone.Ā  ā€œitā€™s you i should be pissed with.ā€
geto moves without thinking, every fibre of his being reverting back to manā€™s natural instinct as his fist connects harshly with the underside of gojoā€™s chin. the taller of the two stumbles back in shock ā€” thick and temperate scarlet coating his pearly white teeth from where heā€™s bitten down on his tongue along with the force. satoru barely has time to react not before suguru is on him again; landing another punch square in his face ā€” accompanied by a sickening crack.
your brother grabs at your lover, shaking him by the lapels of his now bloodied suit and you scream loud enough to lower the temperature of the dining hall and fill it with chills because suguru has always told you to look away from violence. and this time you couldnā€™t.
you couldnā€™t bare to look away from those beautiful blue eyes as they took a hit for you.Ā 
satoru sways backwards and forwards, clearly stunned at the force behind his best friendā€™s fists. he damn near collapses into the table behind him, causing the onlookers to yelp and cry out at his injured state. heā€™s got a busted lip, bruised cheeks and nose and heā€™s still the most beautiful man youā€™ve ever seen.Ā 
ā€œfuck, suguru!ā€ gojoā€™s voice wobbles, he sounds wounded. both inside and out. ā€œwhat the fuck?ā€ eventually, he grounds himself, tongue darting out to lick the patch of crimson at the corner of his lip. he swipes his bloody nose on the back of his hand too ā€” steeling his already hard, azure eyes.Ā 
ā€œyou deserved it. pulling this shit with my sister? are you fucking insane? you could have had anyone elseā€”ā€œ suguru cracks his knuckles, shaking them out.Ā 
you feel as though youā€™re in the middle of a battle ā€” one for your honour. words that leave battle scars are thrown from both gojo and geto on each side, swords of male ego clash at the centre and youā€™re nothing but a defenceless damsel in distress. what could you possibly do against the both of them? you think to throw yourself in between the two men as gojo stalks his way over to your brother in three scarily short stridesā€¦but your mother quickly wraps her arms around your shoulders and hugs you to her chest ā€” keeping you away from the fight.Ā 
your father takes a stance in front of you both ā€” he would interfere, but heā€™s not as young and as agile as he used to be. heā€™d get his teeth knocked in if he did.Ā 
ā€œstop it! p-please! satoru donā€™tā€”!ā€ you screech and wail to him over the commotion of the gathering crowds. he ignores your calls, acting on his free will as satoruā€™s throws his own punch ā€” another scream tears through the chamber of your chest just from witnessing suguruā€™s head snap to the side from its power. ā€œsuguru!ā€
ā€œfuck. you, gojo.ā€ your brother slurs, wiping his own bleeding nose on the sleeve of his white shirt.
ā€œfuck you right back, geto.ā€Ā 
you did this. you caused this. if you had just heeded your brotherā€™s advice, he wouldnā€™t be losing a friend. you wouldnā€™t be losing someone you loved. you should have stayed away, you should haveā€”
ā€œi should have never trusted you!ā€ comes your brotherā€™s vicious snarl, somehow managing to squirm free of satoruā€™s grip and using the last of his strength to push the silver haired male to the smooth marble.
satoru doesnā€™t move, just barely managing to protect his head from the fall. heā€™s still bleeding, light headed but powered by his desire to protect you. kill for you. ā€œi know! but we couldnā€™t help it! it just happened!ā€Ā 
suguru turns to you. ā€œdid he take advantage of you? ever? how long has this been a thing?ā€
ā€œn-no! never! s-satoru would never!ā€ you gulp back a choked sob, hoping to put an end to the madness. stop the shattered glass and the people staring and the punches being thrown. youā€™re a terrible liar, geto knows that. he can see right through your thinly veiled lies ā€” satoru isnā€™t the type to just want someone. it comes with a price, the pieces of your heart worth more than gold to your brother. of courseā€¦ at first it had been that way, satoru took what he wanted. but nowadays it feels different. feels like more.Ā 
ā€œt-two years. it wasā€¦it was all me. i-im the one who said i liked him first. i always have.ā€ you continue slowly, hoping for the smallest twinkle of mercy in getoā€™s eyes. ā€œplease suguā€¦please. thisā€¦ this is enough. just leave him alone. iā€™ll never talk to him again justā€¦stop.ā€Ā 
throughout your whole speech, tears and all, suguru remains towering over your boyfriend with both of their chests heaving, both of their shirts ripped and bloody. you think, for a moment, he might leave it at that ā€” suguru will take your hand, lead you out of the restaurant and thatā€™ll be it. satoru will be spared and youā€™ll have sacrificed your feelings for him to save their friendship.Ā 
however, the tears that drip down the apples if your cheeks and streak through your makeup arenā€™t enough. theyā€™re not enough to provide a barrier to gojoā€™s selfishness ā€” even at his lowest, quite literally (lying weakly underneath suguru), he still thinks he can have it all. both you and his friend.Ā 
ā€œt-that shitā€™s not true. she was a game to me at firstā€”ā€œ he begins to say, causing hurt to flash across your chest and for you to fall to your knees despite being in your motherā€™s unsteady grip.Ā 
he doesnā€™t get to finish for geto takes the opportunity to straddle gojo ā€” unleashing hit after hit on him like a meteor shower of pain. you donā€™t think heā€™ll stop until his knuckles are split.
ā€œsuguru! s-stop it!ā€ you cry.Ā 
people scream just like you but donā€™t interfere. you donā€™t even care that theyā€™re staring, you donā€™t care what they think, all you care about are their well-being.Ā 
to your relief, satoru finds an interval ā€” latching onto his ā€˜exā€™ best friendā€™s wrists with the last of his energy, effectively stopping him from landing anymore punches. ā€œc-christ suguru, let me fucking finish,ā€ satoru gargles on the blood pooling in his perfect, chatty mouth ā€” using his grasp on suguru to push him into sitting on the floor too. ā€œmaybe if you did, you wouldnā€™t have missed this part,ā€ the older of the two, gojo, spits the nasty mix of spit and blood at the youngerā€™s feet ā€” using a second to regain his breath. he spares a second to look at you, shaking on your knees desperate to touch him and see if heā€™s okay. you donā€™t know. you still donā€™t know just how much satoru gojo is willing to sacrifice for you. you have no idea how much he loves you. so he says it. profoundly and loudly.Ā 
ā€œā€¦ missed the part where i fell in love with her. hard and fast. couldnā€™t even tell i was falling.ā€
geto slumps back on his knees, dropping his bruised and cut up knuckles between them with defeat. your entire body sags in relief, until youā€™re a mess of crumpled clothes, bones and tears.Ā 
heā€™s never told you that before. that he loves you.Ā 
ā€œgod, satoruā€¦fuck!ā€ suguru exclaims, clearly exasperated. his rage has simmered to a stop,Ā  with only angst and anguish filling the air in his lungs. heā€™s realised now what this means. heā€™ll never look at you or the satoru the same. the two people he loves most on this god forsaken earth. ā€œsheā€™s my little sister!ā€
he sounds like heā€™s about to cry.
ā€œi know.ā€Ā 
ā€œyou watched her grow up! we grew up together!ā€
ā€œi know.ā€Ā 
ā€œyouā€™re five years older than her!ā€Ā 
ā€œi know, goddamn it!ā€ satoru finally breaks the loop, his voice heavy with pain and exhaustion. ā€œbut i love her and i canā€™t help that. neither of us can.ā€
in the moment of silence that passes, where the audience calms down and suguru steps away from a bloody and beaten satoru ā€” you rush to his side, sliding across the marble floor in your pretty dress to help your lover sit up properly. suguru looks down at you in desolation, his brows creased in the centre of his forehead unhappily. the expression makes you hug gojoā€™s head to your shoulder tightly in your own protective stance ā€” crimson bleeding across blue fabric like ink in water, forming a hollow shade of purple.
ā€œsheā€™s my little sisterā€¦ā€ geto repeats solemnly, as if heā€™s watching your child-like innocence fade away in real time. heā€™s been looking out for you for so long that heā€™s failed to see what an adult youā€™ve become. it doesnā€™t make the betrayal hurt any less, though. ā€œsheā€™sā€¦sheā€™s still a kid.ā€ he adds, swallowing the lump in his throat. ā€œand now youā€™re fucking her?ā€
satoru shakes his head, easing himself from your grip as though to show you that heā€™s strong. strong enough for the both of you. ā€œitā€™s not like that, and sheā€™s not a kid anymore. sheā€™s twenty two, suguru! she doesnā€™t need you watching over her like some fucking hawk anymore. she can fuck me or whoever the fuck she wants.ā€Ā 
and even though satoru is right ā€” you hate that they both talk about you as if youā€™re not even there or autonomous enough to defend yourself.Ā 
ā€œbut you know better.ā€ geto goes on, his own defence becoming weaker and weaker ā€” disintegrating like paper in water.Ā 
ā€œwe both do!ā€ finally finding your voice, you stand up from your position on the floor cradling satoru and move to stand in front of your brother ā€” grabbing his hands with pleading doe eyes and tears on your cheeks. ā€œw-weā€™re both adults who made the mistake of getting involved with each other behind your back. but we donā€™t have to fight this out like childrenā€¦please just give us a chance, sugu. talk to him. talk to me. y-your little sisterā€¦ā€
geto sags again, he looks tired, but accepts your affection without a trace of doubt or hatred. he thumbs the backs of your hands, dark obsidian eyes gazing into your soul like a galaxy of black holes. your deep chocolatey eyes are met with a stare full of trust and admiration ā€” something familiar, something that fills you with temporary relief.
you like to think that you know suguru geto.Ā 
heā€™s the smartest and most rational man youā€™ve ever met. your brother has always been kind and tender, takes the time to really listen to people and think things through step by step. he never acts on instinct or brashness. those are all things you know about him.Ā 
you like to think that your older sibling knows you too.Ā 
that he would look at you and see your truth, how much you care for gojo and how you didnā€™t mean for anyone to get hurt.Ā 
clearly, neither of you know each other as well as you once thought.Ā 
he sees gojo from over your shoulder, and the same sense of white hot betrayal washes over the dark haired man like an acid bath. he rips his hands away from yours as if heā€™s touched molten lava and youā€™ve scalded the palms of his hands in which he used to love you, care for you and raise you.Ā 
a pained sound gargles in your throat as geto pulls away from you ā€” his own mature, handsome face, equally as distraught. ā€œi canā€™t,ā€ he mumbles quietly. ā€œnot right now. iā€™m sorry.ā€ his warmth is gone before you know it and heā€™s grabbing his belongings from your dinner table, bowing in apology to guests and staff and your parents.Ā 
ā€œsuguru!ā€ you gasp, tears stinging at your eyes once again. ā€œsuguru wait!ā€
geto presses his thick, black leather wallet to your motherā€™s chest as he passes your parents, his suit coat half slung over his shoulder. ā€œuse the black card to cover the bill for dinner and pay for the meals of the families whoā€™s tables we destroyed. iā€™ll take care of any damages too ā€” the owner was a client of mine.ā€ he tells her softly, kissing her forehead.Ā 
ā€œsuguruā€” your sister!ā€
he doesnā€™t turn back as he pushes his way through the crowd in order to reach the exit. ā€œsheā€™s old enough to look after herself, right?ā€
ā€œsuguru please.ā€Ā 
you will yourself to chase after him, every cell in your body screaming at you to move while your heart and mind long for you to stay by satoruā€™s side.Ā 
youā€™re conflicted, you donā€™t know who to choose.Ā 
and maybe itā€™s satoruā€™s selfishness, maybe heā€™s the one to blame for the rift in yours and suguruā€™s relationship ā€” because when he succumbs to the bleeding and the injuries, and someone aside from you screams for an ambulance, you canā€™t bring yourself to leave him.Ā 
like a bird in a cage, youā€™re trapped by satoruā€™s love.
or perhaps he was just taking advantage of your weak little heart like always.Ā 
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being at home is supposed to bring you comfort, thereā€™s nothing like it.Ā 
your home is like a safe, full of precious memories locked away with a key that only you possess. if you push through the door youā€™re met with a gust of nostalgia ā€” the sounds of childlike laughter as undertones to scolding parental voices. as you drift down the halls thereā€™s works of art made with crayola ink on the walls, and sometimes thereā€™s tears in that one little spot at the top of your stairs.Ā 
spices from your favourite home cooked meal burning on the stove top usually waft throughout the place, calming you down and filling you with warmth. you canā€™t remember a time where the smells and aromatics of your home have failed to bring you back down to earth. they trigger waves of fondness and flashbulb memories of your father teaching you and suguru as siblings how to cook whenever your mother fell ill.
your home not only hosts heartfelt conversations between four people who love each other, but it speaks too. it would creak and groan and squeak with every step you took deeper inside, with each time you ran through it while being chased by your brother.Ā 
every single one of these moments, these sounds and scents theyā€™re all part of a precious network that make up the foundation of your home. plaster made of love and bricks born from happiness, all glued together by layers of forgiveness in the form of concrete. itā€™s a house full of happiness, your home is. made by your parents, suguru and you.Ā 
but right now you feel as if the roof of your home has caved in.
youā€™ve been sitting outside of suguruā€™s bedroom for hours now. your pretty dress soaked in blood and your face in your own tears. you can hear him on the other side of the door ā€” heā€™s talking to someone, no doubt looking for last minute flights or begging for one of his clientā€™s private jets. and youā€™re terrified because if he leaves like this you might never speak to one another again.Ā 
you donā€™t want that, you canā€™t have that.Ā Ā 
you wonder where he might go ā€” if itā€™ll be some place you always planned to visit together when you were old enough. a trip abroad was something geto had promised you if you graduated. now here you were. graduated but without your big brother by your side. Paris, London, New York ā€” all places you were meant to explore with your eldest sibling by your side.Ā 
though at this very moment, he was all the way on the other side of a door he had no intention of opening.
itā€™s like the entire world has collapsed and caved in on you ā€” thereā€™s a hole starting to form in your heart that only suguru can fill and until today, as he begins to pull away from you, you hadnā€™t realised how much space in your life he had occupied. you leaned heavily on your brother, he shielded you from experiences like this time and time again, and all you could do in return is fuck his best friend.Ā 
some grateful little sister you are.
your face burns with a fresh set of tears, hot at the centre and underneath the fat of your eye bags. youā€™re so dependent on him, you wonder how youā€™ll cope when you move cities and start a real life outside of the shelter your brother had worked so hard to build for you. the very idea makes your insides twist and stomach turn. youā€™re not even sure if geto will want to keep in touch with you once either of you are gone.
leaning against his door, you paw at your wet face ā€” hoping and praying that heā€™ll hear you out. that he wonā€™t leave you, because without suguru you have no one.Ā 
waitā€¦ thatā€™s not true.
thereā€™s still satoru. if he even wants you after all of this. if you even want him.
why is it that he chose this way to confess his love for you? why is it that he dragged you away from a family dinner to fuck you instead of just being honest? why was satoru so selfish?Ā 
he hurt you over and over again ā€” left mental scars on you and treated them like open wounds, adding salt and citrus and whatever would sting just to make sure you kept on needing him and only him. he hurt you to make sure you loved him back and youā€™re sure he had no idea. thereā€™s an underlying guilt coursing through the blood in your system ā€” guilt in letting satoru take all of the blame for falling out with suguru. especially when he defended you against your brotherā€™s switch up and acidic, toxic words. especially when heā€™s posted up in a hospital bed for his battle wounds ā€” split lip, possible concussion, bruised eye sockets.Ā 
your white haired lover had tried to be brave for you when youā€™d left him at the hospital to come home and change. there was terror evident in each dark blue fleck in his baby blue eyes, anxiety wrapping around his heart at the idea of you just leaving him there. he thought you would be leaving him forever.
fuck. gojo was good to you, in so many bad ways. you wished that youā€™d never met him, that youā€™d never fallen for him either.Ā 
before your mind is fully able to slip away to your lover boy, the door to suguruā€™s bedroom clicks open softly ā€” forcing you to scoot away from him so that he has room to step out. neither of you move ā€” frozen in time like marble statues carved millennia ago. you look a mess and suguru looks like a clean slate. where your dress is blood and snot stained, your makeup smeared and eyes puffy ā€” your older brother has been washed free of tonightā€™s grime, his cuts are plastered over and his knuckles bandaged. not a single dark, obsidian tendril of his hair is out of place either ā€” perfectly tied back into his signature bun.
most importantly, thereā€™s not a trace of bitterness on his face ā€” almost as if the events of tonight never even happened.Ā 
as if you never ruined his friendship with gojo or ruined his perception of you ā€” his little sister.Ā 
yet, thereā€™s a glum sort of gleam to his dark eyes, heā€™s tired ā€” heā€™s been thinking too hard, going through every step over and over again trying to piece together what he missed. why would you hide this from him? you hate how lost suguru looks. that you did this to him too.
he doesnā€™t want to fight, not with you. not after satoru.
ā€œiā€™m sorry,ā€ you whisper, shifting to sit on your knees in front of him ā€” as if youā€™re about to bow for getoā€™s forgiveness. ā€œi should have neverā€¦ i didnā€™t mean toā€”ā€œ you pick at stray pieces of skin by the bed of your nails, flailing for words as you slip under the surface of your painstaking emotions. ā€œiā€™mā€¦iā€™mā€¦ā€
geto crouches down to your height, using one hand to wipe the tears from your big bambi eyes and another to tilt your chin up towards him gently. ā€œsorry.ā€ he finishes for you, flashing you his classic, loving smile. ā€œitā€™s okayā€¦just give me time.ā€Ā 
you nod shortly, your features twitching as you fight back the urge to cry again.Ā 
the older male clicks his tongue and shakes his head, the pad of his thumb swiping under your eyes gently. ā€œoh no, none of that, donā€™t cry for me.ā€ as always, suguru comforts you and tends to you like a flower in need of nurture. ā€œiā€™m sorry too, little one.ā€Ā 
ā€œa-are you leaving?ā€Ā 
ā€œfor a little while.ā€
your face crumples once again. ā€œsuguruā€”ā€œ comes your childish huff as he stands ā€” but before the elder geto can get very far, you latch onto his wrist in one last clingy attempt.Ā 
suguru shakes his head one more time, more vigorously as if heā€™s trying to get rid of his own tears ā€” knowing that if he lets you continue and beg him to stay, he wonā€™t have the chance he needs to heal.Ā  ā€œi canā€™t. i need time,ā€ your brother says firmly, almost as if heā€™s scolding you. ā€œyou canā€™t expect me to get over it just like that. itā€™s not fair.ā€
youā€™re fully aware of that, selfishly choosing to ignore the fact ā€” just like satoru would. life isnā€™t fair, so you suppose this is lifeā€™s own way of punishing you for hurting your brother and causing him grief.Ā 
ā€œsugu, please donā€™t go.ā€Ā 
ā€œgive me a few weeks, a few months even, and iā€™ll come back. i promise.ā€ he sighs in response, practically begging you at this point. it kills him to leave his younger sibling just as much as it kills you to see him go. however, every time suguru lays his eyes upon you, all he feels is betrayal and loss. all he can see is his best friendā€™s hands ruining you. corrupting you. it almost makes suguru resent you, for taking a bite of an apple from the snake heā€™d warned you about. hating you is the last thing suguru wants. ā€œi can do that for you because youā€™re my little sister. because i love you and deep down, youā€™re everything to me. but i just need to get over this first.ā€Ā 
itā€™s because youā€™re his little sister that heā€™s even able to look at you. if you were anyone else, if you were satoru, dinner would have been it.Ā 
ā€œā€˜m sorry,ā€ you whimper for the millionth time, in defeat, weakly allowing suguru to help you onto your feet. every fibre of your being tingles with the need to hug him, soothe him in the ways he would do for you ā€” though you know better. thatā€™s not what he needs right now. geto needs you to let him go.
ā€œi know,ā€ geto hums sadly. he tucks your braids behind your ear, thumbing your cheek affectionately ā€œyou should go to bed, itā€™s getting late.ā€Ā 
he presses a lingering kiss into the baby hairs on the crown of your head as he softly grips your arms ā€” using them to rotate you both until his back is to the door and yours is to the looming hallway.Ā 
ā€œgoodnight,ā€ you sniff meaningfully. a nostalgic feeling rushes over you, a sense of dĆ©jĆ  vu ā€” reminding you of the time when suguru first left for college.Ā 
suguru smiles again, disappearing into his room with a whispered. ā€œgoodnight, little one.ā€Ā 
and with that, heā€™s gone.Ā 
you only hope that heā€™ll make good on his promise, forgive you and come back.Ā 
because as the saying goes ā€” if you love someone let them go.Ā 
and if they come back to you, then theyā€™re yours.Ā Ā 
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after a hot shower, you find yourself taking heed of suguruā€™s advice and retreat back to the confines of your bedroom.Ā 
childlike walls covered in ugly green no longer make you laugh or provide you with an uplifting and evocative solace. instead, you feel more cold and alone, desperate to leave this life behind and move on to bigger and better things.Ā 
things that suguru had helped you to achieve.
while the scalding hot water had washed away any bloody stains from the night, any tears left on your cheeks ā€” it did nothing to get rid of the slimy, gross feeling that you couldnā€™t seem to reach. it spread underneath the surface of your skin like wildfire through a forest, over each crack and crevice in your mind, slipped through the gaps in your rib cage to target your lungs like a respiratory attack. it was the shame, the guilt and the grief for someone youā€™d lost who was still alive. all three emotions plagued you.Ā 
once safely behind your own bedroom door, shutting out your feelings about the night (after only half of them had swirled down the drain), you rest against its wooden frame ā€” watching the droplets that were clinging to your supple skin drop to the ground as if they were the tears you didnā€™t feel like crying anymore.Ā 
the towel around your exhausted frame drops to your ankles as you lethargically search your dresser for your favourite cocoa butter moisturiser. you work in silence, soothing the nightā€™s wounds as you prepare for bed like your bother had said. you slip on a set of pyjamas, tie your braids back with silk scrunchies and just as you hit the lights ā€” thereā€™s a knock at your window.
you donā€™t move, waiting to see if itā€™s your imagination or your mind playing tricks on you again.Ā 
but then, thereā€™s another dull thud and you whip around from your dresser to meet a pair of clear-sky blue eyes that catch light under the shining moon does enough to illuminate every curve and slope to his dainty features. gojo looks a little compared to when you left him in the hospital ā€” whatever fluids theyā€™ve given him have helped with the hollow, purple-ish dark circles under his eyes. a few cuts still litter the angelic curve to satoruā€™s face,Ā 
clutching the centre of your chest from under your sweatshirt (in an attempt to calm your beating heart) ā€” you rush towards the source of the noise, tugging the latches of your window open. ā€œsatoru,ā€ you breathe, your entire body going lax once you realise who it is.
ā€œhey you,ā€ he grins, holding onto the upper body panel of the window while he waits for your permission to come in. even though your room is dark, painted with tendrils of pitch black, the silvering moon does enough to highlight each cut or slash across his pretty face. ā€œmissed you.ā€Ā 
slowly, you reach out to touch him. a single fingertip slides across gojoā€™s sharp jaw, so sharp that it could cut diamonds, before you angle his head from side to side ā€” inspecting the injuries that hardly do anything to dampen his beauty.
ā€œcan i come inside?ā€ gojo asks cautiously. ā€œitā€™s kinda cold out here.ā€Ā 
blinking, you snap out of your reverie and shift backwards on your bed to make space for satoru to come through. he crawls into your room quietly like heā€™s done many times before, sneaking over to see you during your breaks from university, and shuts the window behind him.
the both of you stand still in the dark, hardly able to see each other, hardly able to tell what the other is thinking. satoru wonders if you hate him, if this is it for you and he. should he touch you? would you let him?
and as for you, youā€™re stuck between a rock and hard place. your body, as always, calls for gojo ā€” yearns to be near him as if you havenā€™t seen one another in a millennia. you know that heā€™s right there, you can hear his shallow and ragged breathing (probably from climbing up to your window) just centimetres away. heā€™s done so much to hurt you, ruin youā€¦ and yet you canā€™t seem to resist him or stay away from him when you know that you should.Ā 
ā€œi figured youā€™d want this back, thatā€™s why i came.ā€ gojo mumbles, dangling the chain of your necklace in front of you. you reach out to take it and your boyfriend lets go, but the jewellery hits the ground and you ignore itā€™s metallic clatter.
ā€œsatoru gojoā€¦ā€ you whimper, instead, taking a step forward into the void ā€” your hands touch on his tiny waist before travelling upwards over his creased button up shirt to settle at the silver haired manā€™s broad shoulders. he groans low at the feeling of your nails raking across them from over the fabric, reaching higher to scratch at his scalp through the baby hairs on his neck. even though satoru remains stiff and hesitant at first, itā€™s an intimate moment, youā€™re hardly able to see each other while being pressed so close together ā€” desperate and longing. gojo finally relaxes and grabs the fat at your waist, pulling your hips flush against his own.Ā 
you stand on your tiptoes and use your grip on his hair to tug gojo down to your height ā€” your lips a breathā€™s width away from each other. heā€™s so close that you can feel his breath coast along the seams of your lips.Ā 
ā€œwhat have you done to me?ā€ you finish, whispering.
god, satoru wishes that he knew. he has no idea himself, the kind of power and hold that he has over you. ā€œi donā€™t fucking know,ā€ he finds himself saying, meeting you the rest of the way as he leans down to capture your mouth in a messy, searing hot kiss. ā€œi donā€™t wanna know. just let me kiss you.ā€Ā 
ā€œmhm,ā€ you all but whine in reply, wrapping your arms around satoruā€™s neck as he feverishly licks into the hot, wet cavern of your mouth. he feeds you his moans, one by one, pouring his apologies and unspoken words past your lips and into your soul. gojo canā€™t speak with your tongue in his mouth, heā€™s spent all night plagued by thoughts of you ā€” wondering if heā€™d done the right thing by telling suguru, if he should have kept his mouth shut and his hands off you. if he should have done it properly.
he fucks everything up ā€” especially the things that he loves. gojo wouldnā€™t be surprised if you were done with his bullshit now. heā€™d make the most of what youā€™re willing to give him for the moment.Ā 
your lips grow sticky with the layers of spit swapped between you and you can taste him on you. in your mouth, on your tongue. he tastes like cold peppermint and wisps of pink wine. he feels like heaven under your fingers, his hair soft like the feathers of godā€™s favourite angel. you inhale the hint of his aftershave from his clothes, let it drift over your mind as well. heā€™s toxic, bad for your lungs like a vape or the chemicals from something else addictive. perhaps youā€™re smelling gasoline, the kind that satoru uses to start a fire in your lower belly.Ā 
you shouldnā€™t be doing this, not again, not here, not with suguru across the hall about to leave you. but you canā€™t help it, satoruā€™s become your everything and you feel that you might not be able to live without him too. ā€œsatoru,ā€ your arm shoots to wrap around his neck, hardly allowing the man to pull away from you and breathe. your movements are so fast that gojo stumbles and holds you tighter to catch his balance. though it might be because heā€™s afraid youā€™ll disappear. ā€œsatoru, satoru, satoru pleaseā€¦ā€
youā€™ve no idea what youā€™re even begging for, just chanting his name between bruising kisses, his tongue sloppily gliding over yours while he fights to pull away from your intoxicating lip locks. ā€œdonā€™t beg, baby,ā€ he grunts hot and heavy, dragging a thumb over your swollen lips. ā€œgod, please donā€™t fuckinā€™ beg. you have no idea what it does to me.ā€Ā 
ā€œbut i need you,ā€ closing your lips around the tip of his thumb, you suck gently and it causes satoru to grow weak in the knees ā€” dizzy from the sensation. ā€œand i love youā€¦ā€
ā€œfuck, iā€”ā€œ gojo swallows thickly, watching you like a hawk as you suck on him salaciously. ā€œiā€™m right hereā€¦love you too. now jump for me, baby.ā€ comes his loving command, pulling the digit from the prison of your hot mouth. if he could, heā€™d take a life sentence to stay between your lips.Ā 
following gojoā€™s lead, you leap upwards into his hold ā€” allowing satoru to grope at your fleshy ass as he hoists you up. a pathetic bleat escapes his saliva laden lips when your thighs wrap securely around his waist, pussy slotting against satoruā€™s crotch while he carries you to sit on your dresser.Ā 
after setting you down, satoru places a palm on the mirror above your head, steadying himself as lust and love for you and only you overwhelms him until heā€™s nothing but a shaky mess. a man that could be brought to his knees with just one look from you. his head drops to your neck, breath balmy against the surface of your skin, long white lashes tickling you there too.Ā 
he grows enchanted by your steady pulse, pulled in my each of your little whimpers. a mop of silver hair descends upon your flesh, the taste buds on satoruā€™s pink, eager tongue mapping out your taste to commit to memory. he wants to remember your flavour forever ā€” treating this as if itā€™s the last time heā€™ll ever touch you.Ā 
ā€œyouā€¦you asked me what it is that iā€™ve done to you. ā€˜n i told you that iā€¦ fuck, that i didnā€™t know,ā€ gojo pants, a rosy blush spreading across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. one ā€œbut i can tell you exactly what it is that you do to me...ā€ your lover looks down at you like a man drunk or high, facing an addiction he wonā€™t be able to quit. it does something to you, drags crazed sex hormones from your brain right down to your pulsating clit.Ā 
the temperature in the room rises, boiling and bubbling ā€” the particles in the air teaming with so much desire, buzzing around with an equal amount of kinetic energy. ā€œyouā€™ve ruined me,ā€ he mumbles wistfully, a man charmed. gojo leaves a wet trail over your pulse point, slowly sinking his teeth into the area. thereā€™s a gentleness to the way that he leaves his mark on you ā€” panting like a wet dog as he does so. ā€œyou make me want to take care of you. youā€™ve got me so fucked up that i canā€™t tell whatā€™s up or downā€¦.ā€ he moans into the sweltering ambience of the room.
satoru forces himself against you and you gasp, head hitting the mirror because you can feel how hard he is against the crotch of your night shorts. ā€œi want to be your everything,ā€ his selfish tendencies seep through into his actions, love bites gojo works against your neck become more prominent and harsher ā€” as if to get his point across or through your head. he wants you to know how much he wants you. ā€œjust like i know that iā€™m yours.ā€Ā 
itā€™s true. he is.Ā 
the very phrase make your hips buck up into his, a wave of slick pooling between your folds as they catch on the print of gojoā€™s dick. ā€œf-fuckā€¦ā€ the tail end of your words end in a lost whine, too turned on by gojoā€™s desperation for you. only you.Ā 
ā€œi love you,ā€ he whispers, voice silky smooth while continuing to ravish your neck and collar bones with shades of deep purple and blue. gojoā€™s large hands sneak down to your waistband to pull your shorts off and on instinct, you do the same ā€” a nagging craving for more of him taking over you once again. ā€œlike no one before. dunno why i didnā€™t say it earlier, donā€™t know why i didnā€™t wanna show you off.ā€Ā 
satoru tugs your panties to one side, wedging them behind your swollen pussy lips and exposing your quivering mound to the night air. even though the room is dark, he can still see the glisten of your arousal and whines wildly from deep within his chest at the sight ā€” urging you to yank down his boxers too.Ā 
circling your hips up to meet his, the both of you hiss in unison as your leaky, sopping sexes come into contact for the second time that night. it feels right. just having the length of gojoā€™s heavy shaft nestled between your sticky folds ā€” itā€™s natural, as if youā€™re made for one another despite fate not wanting you to be together. his tip spurts early traces of precum against your slit in another form of marking, hot and creamy against you while the scent of sex begins to waft through the air.Ā 
itā€™ll never matter how much you try to resist satoru, for as long as heā€™s around, youā€™ll fall into this twisted little routine ā€” a repeat offence of betraying your brother. your nails come up to dig crescent moons into his milky toned and strong arms, gritting your teeth at the pleasure beginning to wash over and drown you. ā€œs-shit babyā€”ā€œ gojo mewls through a pout, finally giving up on biting and sucking at your neck to rest his sweaty forehead against your own. ā€œjust wanna be good to youā€¦wanna be enough for you. p-promise iā€™ll give my everything just tā€™be the one takinā€™ care of you.ā€Ā 
satoru slurs his words but the very promise sounds like a dream for you. itā€™ll be everything youā€™ve ever wanted out of the man, all youā€™ve ever asked for in all these two years of fucking around. to be equals, to be his partner for the world to see. although, a tiny seed of doubt begins to sprout in the back of your mind ā€” youā€™re not even sure if itā€™s true, if satoruā€™s just making empty promises to get you like this, to manipulate you into staying after messing everything up with your brother.Ā 
could he take care of you like suguru did? could you trust him to do that?Ā 
your jaw goes slack as gojo drags his hips back and forth, back and forth, the pretty blue veins wrapped around his cock running over your clit ā€” stimulating you into a weakened stupor. milky droplets of pre glaze the length of your dripping cunt, satoru rubbing it in the more he grinds into you.Ā 
the dance of your bodies is toxic and never ending, the way you rock into each other in perfect harmony causing your dresser to delicately thud against your bedroom walls. ā€œd-do you promise, ā€˜toru?ā€ you gasp, biting down on your lower lip hard enough to draw blood, as though to stop yourself from crying out loud from the electric current of pleasure he gives you. ā€œy-you have to promise me.ā€Ā 
silvery white brows knit together in the centre of satoruā€™s forehead, making him look pathetic. his hand forces itā€™s way between both of your tight and tangled limbs to grab hold of his bright red an, bulbous cockhead and circle it against your pulsating clit ā€” dragging it up and down until it grazes your hole.
he damn near chokes on a glob of spit when you unconsciously clench around him ā€” a loud simper bubbling up on the edge of his pretty pink lips. youā€™re quick to lean forward, practically slamming a hand over satoruā€™s eager mouth to keep him quiet.Ā 
ā€œp-promise me.ā€ you repeat wetly, panting out the syllables as his dick slots perfectly against your wetness ā€” both of you move with vigour and hushed whimpers and moans, satoru chasing after your soused sex like a hungry animal. you feel like youā€™re going fucking insane beneath him, watching as his tie to sanity starts to dissolve into thin air just from the way your pissy drips all over him with treacle-like juices.
no one on this earth could make satoru gojo give this up. give you up. not your parents, not his, not your brother. heā€™d rather die than let another person have you in the way that he does right now, where you rut your hips into his in one fluid motion. even if his heart breaks and his muscles ache ā€” he canā€™tā€¦he wonā€™t stop giving you his all, wonā€™t stop making you see fucking stars.Ā 
a pressure begins to build just above your pelvis ā€” brought forth by gojo bullying your pleasure nub with his sopping dick. itā€™s obvious how close youā€™re getting, your puckered hole gushing all over him and clenching on nothing. but itā€™s not like the man above you is in a better state ā€” youā€™ve wrecked gojo, sent the man to high heavens and brought him back down to earth all at once. youā€™ve shown satoru that heā€™s worthy of being loved, that heā€™s capable of doing the same. the realisation only adds to the intensity of your sinful movements underneath the watchful eye of the moon.Ā 
tears spring to his brilliant blue eyes, another clamorous sob breaking free from your hands over his mouth ā€” making you clasp him tighter. everything is so intense and emotional, pleasure mounting like bricks for both of you. youā€™re shaky in one anotherā€™s hold, sticky against each other while your arousals lube everything up and make the whole ordeal wetter. it really does feel like a crescendo, the highest point of an orchestraā€™s song ā€” where your bodies are the instruments played by one another.Ā 
ā€œsatoru,ā€ you repeat his name, warning him, begging him to focus through the thick fog of love, lust and desire clouding his brain.Ā 
ā€œi-iā€”ā€œ gojo chokes down his feelings, slamming his other hand on the dresser behind you to trap you in underneath him ā€” his hips never let up, however, roughly snapping into yours. ā€œi promise. i promise, baby ā€” always will, fuckinā€™ swear it.ā€ he mumbles under his breath against the palm of your hand.Ā 
and thatā€™s all either of you need to hear for the dam to break.Ā 
gojoā€™s rhythm falters, his hips stuttering as he succumbs to you and he hits his high. he lets out a cry of your name so genuine it pulls at your heart strings and you slip under the surface of ecstasyā€™s ocean ā€” letting it fill your lungs as you cum too. you screw your eyes shut with the white light that blinds you through your orgasm ā€” afraid of what may lie on the other side of this world-ending sensation. you donā€™t want the reality that awaits you. you donā€™t want to have to wake up from this little dream youā€™ve created with satoru.Ā 
speaking of, the white haired man collapses over you in a fit of shakes and shivers ā€” ropes of his white seed coating your aching mound. thereā€™s so much for it, all caused by and for you. he doesnā€™t stop rutting into you, even though itā€™s sensitive, but wraps his arms around your head just to comfort you through it. hugging you to him while you both come down.Ā 
heā€™s good to you, so good in this moment, but you have no idea if this will translate past tonight.Ā 
ā€œcan i fuck you?ā€ he asks through ragged breathing. ā€œjust a little bit, wonā€™t be long. just wanna make you feel good again, youā€™re so pretty when youā€™re moaning and feeling so fucking good on my cock.ā€Ā 
you wince with overstimulation as satoru starts to rub his shaft against you all over again, working it up to another ripe and pulsating erection just for you. earlier, you had wished the night would last a little longer, so you could love him a little harder and here satoru gojo was ā€” making all but one of your dreams come true. ā€œh-hurry,ā€ you whinge into his shoulder, your teeth sinking into the milky flesh as though to keep yourself quiet. ā€œdonā€™t make me wait.ā€
ā€œnever baby, youā€™re too pretty for me to be patient,ā€ in one fail swoop, satoru nudges his tip inside of you ā€” instantly filling you to the brim with sticky, sloppy cock and drawing a needy gasp from you. ā€œyanno, youā€™re so cute when you take my dick, such a beautiful baby. no one compares to you.ā€Ā 
you know that he might just be running his mouth to fuck you sweet again, telling you all of the things you want to hear ā€” but you canā€™t help but want gojo closer and wrap your legs around his waist, using the heels of your feet to push him closer to the point where his cum-covered cockhead is brushing against your womb.
with fluttering eyelashes, your mouth falls into an ā€˜oā€™ shape and a silent mewl escapes you ā€” it doesnā€™t take long for your partner to fall into the perfect pace, fuelled by his desire to make you both cum again and his need to chase the stinging, delicious pain he gets from chasing overstimulation. ā€œd-did you get tighter baby? youā€™re fuckinā€™ choking me out here,ā€ satoru grunts against your sweaty hairline, ramming his hips into your clenching cunt that practically squirts a crude mix of your remaining orgasms. ā€œyou gonna milk me? make me fill you up again?ā€
ā€œy-yes! please satoruā€¦donā€™t stop!ā€ you whine in harmony with his moans as they rise in pitch ā€” higher and higher until theyā€™re whistle tone, scratching tigers marks down his muscled back. the touch drives gojo insane, activating something primal in him to the point where you once again have to cover his mouth with wet kisses. if he didnā€™t love you, then the simple gesture wouldnā€™t cause him lose his tether to the real world fucking you like this.Ā 
if it was only a touch, why did it ruin him?
juices and thick waves of cum that had once coated your throbbing cunt now slosh over your dresser that dully thuds against your bedroom wall ā€” over and over again the faster gojoā€™s hips pound into yours. the sound of skin on skin overwhelms all of your senses, youā€™re stimulated beyond belief and youā€™re crying from multiple placesā€¦itā€™s almost too much for your poor ravaged body to handle.Ā 
ā€œiā€™ll n-never stopā€¦fuuuck baby, as long as iā€™ve got you. ā€˜m never stoppinā€™ā€¦never stoppinā€™ā€¦ n-neverā€”ā€œ your man chants, crying into your mouth and the hot lustful buzzing hair between you when grab his ass so that he can fuck you deeper. the slit at his cockhead is overloaded with viscous precum, smearing it along your inner and gushing ribbed walls ā€” claiming your insides for the second time that night.Ā 
your hips run from the pleasure that you crave and that satoru gives to you ā€” cross eyed and panting from above you like a wet dog. thereā€™s no need for him to run from you though, you wonā€™t let him, not when he needs to be loved by you. someone who cares for satoru gojo despite all of his mistakes.Ā Ā 
a creamy ring begins to form at the base of satoruā€™s swelling cock, all white and frothy from where heā€™s been churning your guts up lovingly ā€” pounding his earlier orgasm inside of you as if to make it stick. your clit grinds against his smooth pelvis, dragging you by the ankle to another world-altering orgasm and his balls slap wetly against the curve of your fleshy ass.Ā 
satoru adjusts your body against the dresser so that the curve of your spine rests on the table and heā€™s able to hike your legs over his shoulders so he can bully that one special spot only he can reach. your knees meet your chest, breasts bouncing beneath them from the force of the white haired manā€™s chest. ā€œg-god, youā€™reā€¦youā€™re fucking me too good,ā€ you gargle, hands in his sweaty mass of silver hair as you tug gojo implausibly closer. ā€œi wanna cumā€¦are you there? c-can i cum, ā€˜toru?ā€
pressing his forehead to yours, satoru nods feverishly. ā€œright behind you, baby. where do you want it?ā€ thereā€™s a fluid roll to your manā€™s hips, his cock dipping in and out of your fluttering entrance so fast and so good that youā€™re sure youā€™re about to lose consciousness. ā€œhow about inside? how ā€˜bout you lemme leave somethinā€™ with you?ā€ clear, thick strings tie your clenching pussy to satoruā€™s cum glazed shaft ā€” glistening under the nightā€™s natural light. you canā€™t wait for there to be more of him inside you. ā€œtouch your clit for me baby, make yourself cum on my dick.ā€Ā 
you do as your told, fumbling between your salt-licked entangled limbs for the little nub between your swollen folds. immediately pressing down on it, you find yourself tightening around gojo while he grinds harshly against your g-spot and moans breathily against your Cupidā€™s bow since your foreheads are still pressed together.Ā 
ā€œs-saā€¦satoru! ā€˜mā€¦iā€™m cumming!ā€ one look at him, completely destroyed by you, is all it takes to send you flying to cloud nine ā€” your stomach lurches and your eyes roll back into the dark depths of your skull as you cum one more time for your lover. clear streams of your essence squirt steadily from your cunt, bathing satoru in your orgasm while you succumb to overstimulation.Ā 
his tummy and thighs are doused in your precious liquid as you quietly scream his name ā€” all of these senses serve to trigger his own orgasm. ā€œcā€™mon, thatā€™s it little one. give it to me, i gotcha. want it all over me,ā€ gojo smirks against your lips, peppering them with soft kisses while he wrecks and bullies your insides in an attempt to cum himself. ā€œoooh, fuck. i love you, i love you, i love you.ā€
just like he promised, satoru gives you another hot load ā€” failing to stop fucking you through either of your highs. he loses control of his hips, allowing them to languidly and uncoordinatedly rut into you ā€” pushing his seed further up your silken walls until your cunt is covered in a layer of white. thereā€™s so much of it that white drips his balls and inner thighs, as well as down to your puckered asshole. maybe itā€™s a little crude if him, but satoruā€™s lengthy fingers gather what you leak and smears it against your lips ā€” kissing you there, sucking your mixed flavours from your eager mouth.
itā€™s only while you calm down from your orgasms that things start to changeā€¦drastically.Ā 
even as satoru kisses your hairline and whispers praises against it, rocking you back and forth as you twitch with the aftershocks of your orgasm ā€” the fear comes rushing back.Ā 
the post-orgasmic clarity hits.
the tears start flowing once more and you realise that youā€™re so, so tired of it all.
yellow and artificial light from down the hall seeps through the gap underneath your door, accompanied by footsteps. youā€™ve no doubt that someone in your home is awake, maybe your mum going for her late night glass of water, your dad for the loo or maybe even suguru. for his flight. the light is glaring and illuminates your room ā€” highlighting the nightā€™s mistake. satoru.Ā 
when the footsteps recede and the light dims down, you let out a breath you hadnā€™t realised you were holding ā€” your silent tears blooming into quiet hiccups that you have no control over. ā€œh-hey,ā€ he cups your face, wiping at your eyes just like your brother had done before shutting you out. ā€œhey pretty girl, whatā€™s the matter? did i hurt you? was that too muchā€”?ā€
slicing through gojoā€™s words, you find the strength to speak even if it hurts to reveal the truth. itā€™s like ripping off a bandaid, ā€œhow do i know that you really mean all this? that youā€™re going to keep your promise, ā€˜toru?ā€
ā€œw-what?ā€Ā 
ā€œi canā€™t do this!ā€ you snap as loudly as your voice will allow you to. you donā€™t want to wake anyone else up nor get caught by your brother with your pants down for the man who betrayed his trust. not to mention, nearly getting him to hate you. ā€œyou promised to take care of me. just like suguru would, while we were basically having sex ā€” how am i supposed to trust that?ā€ it sounds crazy coming from your mouth, doubting satoru even after the intimate moments that youā€™ve just shared. however, youā€™ve been around this block with him too many times, you know the signs off by heart, youā€™ve memorised the cracks in his resolve as if theyā€™re those in the pavement. the ones people tell you not to step on to avoid bad luck.Ā 
you feel unlucky, you feel played and naive. you saw all the warnings and wilfully ignored them because you liked the way satoru loved before he knew the weight of the word. ā€œhow am i supposed to trust you?ā€ you add, voice wavering.
satoru canā€™t seem to find an excuse ā€” maybe because his brain is too fucked out or maybe because heā€™s shocked that youā€™re not just blindly trusting him anymore. he always thought things would be easy with you, that this nightmare would be over quickā€¦ and youā€™d take him back just like that. perhaps the dinner was your wake up call. ā€œi donā€™tā€¦ i donā€™t know, i justā€¦ā€ he selfishly expects you to believe him. ā€œyou know me. you love me and i love you, canā€™t that be enough?ā€Ā 
ā€œyouā€™ve never given me enough, satoru! itā€™s only now that youā€™re realising you want me as more than just yourā€¦ your plaything! when iā€™m all you have left and suguru is gone with the wind!ā€ you want to push him away but satoru is rooted in front of you, his presence sturdy unlike before. ā€œyou say that you love me, and i think i believe itā€¦but itā€™s so hard to trust you. to not think that this is just an impulse.ā€Ā 
ā€œiā€™d wanna be with you even if suguru stayed, i always do. it kills me to be away from you!ā€ satoru fires back, scrambling for somethingā€¦anything thatā€™ll make you see just how badly he means it when he says he loves you and wants you. that itā€™s not because heā€™s afraid of being alone. ā€œi fucked this up, with you and with suguru. but iā€™ve known for a long time that iā€™ve wanted you, needed you to be mine and more than just a fling!ā€Ā 
you look away, face twisting with pain. ā€œiā€¦i donā€™t believe that.ā€Ā 
ā€œthen let me prove it,ā€ the words rush right out of gojoā€™s mouth, faster than his brain can catch up ā€” his anxiety spiking at the thought of you abandoning what you have together. abandoning him. ā€œmove in with me, come with me. iā€™ll get us a place in the city where your new job is, iā€™ll get my dad to transfer me to a closer branch of Gojo Corpā€¦ just let me show you how much i want to make this work ā€” even if it means losing suguru.ā€Ā 
satoru grabs your chin and tilts your gaze back over to him ā€” but you canā€™t even look him in the eye.Ā 
instead, your face burns, hot as your vision swims with another wave of tears. ā€œi need your honesty, satoru. no more empty promises, no more false hopes.ā€ he can see it in you now, how exhausted you are with the game of cat and mouse youā€™ve been playing all this time. you just want to be loved without constraint and satoru comes with so much baggage heā€™ll only weigh you down when you try to fly from the nest. it wouldnā€™t be fair. ā€œi need you to choose. would you really give it all up for me? your reputation, your lifestyle, your best friend?ā€Ā 
satoruā€™s wants to be selfish, desperately so. itā€™s all heā€™s ever known. taking and taking until his partner at the time is nothing but a husk of the person they once were. the difference this time is that he actually loves you, cares for you and would kill for you. heā€™s already taken so much from your youthful bright eyes.Ā 
he would hate to take your spark too.
so satoru gojo decides to weigh up his options.Ā 
either lose it all and keep you as his or lose you while the wounds heā€™s inflicted on everyone else heal.Ā 
if you love someone, then let them go. if they come back to you, theyā€™re yours.Ā 
ā€œthenā€¦ then iā€™m sorry. for not being more honest. youā€™re right in every sense of the wordā€¦i canā€™t give this up,ā€ gojo says simply, watching the light and hope in your eyes die out. ā€œi think itā€™s best if we end it here and i let you go.ā€Ā 
so reddit, AITA?Ā 
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UPDATE - AITA (27M) FOR FUCKING MY BEST FRIEND'S (26M) LITTLE SISTER (22F)? hey reddit. long time no see, i got a lot of attention on this post and undoubtedly you all decided that i was the asshole. iā€™ve done some work on myself and now i see that i was 100% in the wrong. iā€™ll spare you the boring details, because i know thatā€™s not what youā€™re here for. i didn't want to leave anyone hanging, so hereā€™s a quick update on where the three of us are at, one year later. iā€™ll start by saying ā€” we broke up. i made the call so now sheā€™s seeing someone else, and itā€™s serious.Ā 
in another lifetime, satoru would have chosen to be with you.Ā 
heā€™s certain that in another wonderfully weird and wacky universe ā€” nothing would have stopped you from being that happy couple you wanted to be so badly. suguru might have even accepted your relationship, or maybe he would have died and his final wish would have been for the white haired man to make you happy.Ā 
that is something satoru will never know. the idea comforts him whenever heā€™s left alone with his thoughts for a little too long.
however, this isnā€™t another lifetime. this isnā€™t a different universe. this is the reality where satoru gojo had broken up with you right after your graduation.Ā 
he did it so that he wouldnā€™t come off as selfish ā€” so that you had a chance to fix things with his ex best friend (and your brother) before it was too late. it was the least he could do after taking advantage of you, corrupting you against all of suguruā€™s wishes ā€” but that didnā€™t make gojo any better of a man nor a knight in shining armour. he was still a shifty guy.Ā 
still selfish, though, the decision was made with satoru still in mind.Ā 
the night heā€™d broken up with you obviously ended in tears. to you, it was the end of your life ā€” losing your first love, and you couldnā€™t even be blamed. you were only twenty two, your reaction was justified. suguru had been right in that sense, you were innocent and your heart needed to be protected, satoru had definitely taken advantage of that.Ā 
you were kind enough to let your then ex stay the night ā€” as long as he was back in the hospital and gone by the morning. satoru never knew what transpired the next day, as you were quick to block him on everything, and you had every right.Ā 
he made his choice and his bed, now he had to lie in it too.
geto did leave, gojo knows that much, having seen his best friend take up work at a law firm in the US. geto had since been low contact with him. as did the rest of your family. again, it was for the best ā€” even if it did hurt and cause gojo to bury himself within his fatherā€™s company, working himself to the bone every day just as a distraction.
through the grapevine of CEOs and higher ups, satoru learns that youā€™ve followed in your brotherā€™s footsteps and made your way over to the land of the free. the magazine you worked for, Heavenly Pact, was getting ready to start an american edition and word had travelled that you were going to be the head of their new office on that side of the pond. gojo was proud, excited for you ā€” you were excelling in your career all on your own, he was glad that he hadnā€™t ruined that for you too.
being in the states from time to time, satoru often wondered if there would ever be a time where he ran into you. would you be happy to see him? would you even want to talk? what would he even say?
ā€˜iā€™m sorry for fucking you for fun and fumbling the bag ā€” almost destroying your relationship with your brother when i caught feelingsā€™ wouldnā€™t exactly fly well with you, he was sure.
it didnā€™t end up mattering anyways, because when gojo does eventually bump into you during business hours ā€” he almost doesnā€™t recognise you. heā€™s in New York for some big, fancy corporate meeting about mergers and acquisitions, whatever his father had put into the file gojo was skim reading on his phone at the last minute, right before making his way up to the conference room.Ā 
the elevator taking him there stood about six floors shy of satoruā€™s destination and a young woman enters like a hurricane ā€” bringing with her a whirlwind of paperwork and notebooks. ā€œi-iā€™m sorry.ā€ the young woman stutters from behind her pile of belongings, out of breath from seemingly running for the elevator. ā€œcould you press the button for my floor? i would do it myself, butā€¦ā€Ā 
thereā€™s a strain in her voice that makes gojo chuckle to himself, reaching past her so that his fingertips brush over the cool and luminous buttons for each floor. ā€œare you going up?ā€Ā 
ā€œdown actuallyā€¦ you?ā€Ā 
ā€œup ā€˜m afraid, but headed to the top floor. so this elevatorā€™s probably going to head straight down to wherever you need to be afterwards.ā€ he offers up apologetically. he swears the tonation to her voice sounds familiar, itā€™s soft and sugarcoated notes stirring up a warm feeling in gojoā€™s tummy.
ā€œthatā€™s fine by me, iā€™m running ahead of schedule anyway. floor eleven for me, please.ā€Ā 
gojo does as heā€™s told, pressing the button for the eleventh floor ā€” he has to reach past the woman in order to do so. his vigilant blue eyes catch a glimpse of the fashion photography stacked in her arms amongst sketches and other designs while the scent of her perfume strikes a dizzying recognition within the white haired man. undertones of vanilla with subtle floral scents make gojoā€™s stomach turn and light bulb memories of those precious two years flash behind tired cerulean eyes.Ā 
he knows you, he thinks, all too well.
he says your name under his breath as though heā€™s keeping a secret and you freeze ā€” no longer sorting through the papers flying about the place. when you look up and your eyes meet, you feel like the world has stopped spinning and that itā€™s just the two of you, frozen in time.
ā€œsatoru,ā€ you breathe and quite plainly, as if youā€™re holding back any emotion you feel towards your exā€¦but then you smile, and itā€™s so vibrant satoru feels like he might go blind. not a trace of resentment in those big, beautiful brown eyes. ā€œitā€™s been a while.ā€Ā 
youā€™ve changed a lot in only a year. while your face still holds its youthful innocence, except your eyes reflect growth and maturity ā€” perhaps a little bit of exhaustion from how hard youā€™ve been working on your new job. youā€™re still as beautiful as the day gojo left you, but perhaps even more so. your lightĀ  glows instead of dulls, most likely because youā€™re free. heā€™s no longer holding you back with a jail sentence of his selfishness. youā€™ve been able to live your life properly, just as someone your age should.Ā 
it would be wrong for him to interfere with your newfound happiness.
turning on his heel, satoru faces forward and avoids your gaze ā€” continually repeating the mantra ā€˜sheā€™d be better off without you.ā€™ to stop himself from reaching out and touching you like he so desperately wants to. he misses you, that much is a fact, but that doesnā€™t mean he no longer craves to be with you, breathe you in, be by our side.
satoru had let you go three-hundred and sixty-five days ago with the hopes of you coming back to him.Ā Ā 
maybe this was it.
you donā€™t take kindly to being ignored, leaning forward with your papers and files tucked securely against your chest in order to garner his attention. satoru adjusts his dress shirt, plays with his cuffs, inspects his surroundings ā€” anything to avoid you and make a fool out of himself. or worse, mess everything up for you. his therapist had called his previous and past behaviours a self-destructive tornado ā€” destroying everything in its path without regard.
he couldnā€™t go back to that.
ā€œgojo, donā€™t pretend like i donā€™t exist,ā€ you pout in annoyance ā€” reminding your ex all too much of the times you spent together at your dorms. ā€œi see you and you see me. weā€™re adults, surely you can handle a conversation.ā€ itā€™s your teasing tone that finally makes gojo cave, sparing you a starry, blue eyed glance.Ā 
he canā€™t help the cocky chuckle that escapes him, almost slipping back into his old and familiar ways with you. ā€œyou wanna talk to me that bad, huh? did you miss me or somethinā€™?ā€ itā€™s a condescending and patronising thing to say ā€” almost as if heā€™s treating you like a child.Ā 
that makes you stand up right, heat rising to your cheeks at the familiar feeling ā€” youā€™re not mad though. ā€œi see youā€™re still as full of yourself as ever.ā€Ā 
itā€™s satoruā€™s turn to pout this time, shifting his focus to a corner of the rising elevator . ā€œh-hey! iā€™m working on it!ā€ youā€™ve never seen him so nervous, not in your entire life of knowing himā€¦but you suppose a lot can change in a year. youā€™re sure heā€™s different, just like you are. ā€œyannoā€¦therapy ā€˜n stuff. it helps. helped.ā€Ā 
ā€œoh yeah?ā€ you hum curiously, knowing that heā€™s making reference to your break up, losing suguru. you donā€™t dare to press further, though. ā€œme too.ā€ the pair of you fall silent for a moment, sitting with the unaddressed awkwardness, the tension and unresolved feelings. ā€œhowā€¦how are you? howā€™s things?ā€Ā 
heā€™s surprised that youā€™ve even asked, let alone want to talk to him after everything heā€™d put you through. itā€™s weird but also clear that youā€™d been working on healing too ā€” whatā€™s a conversation between two adults then? ā€œgood,ā€ satoru starts, though heā€™s being far from honest. he misses you. ā€œiā€™ve been working to finally take over dadā€™s company. old manā€™s retiring, so i thought iā€™d play my part and be responsible for once.ā€Ā 
you grin warmly at the news. ā€œit sounds like youā€™re doing well, toru.ā€ he nearly jumps at the familiar nickname, choosing not to respond. ā€œnot that you asked, but iā€™m kind of in the same boat? theyā€™re putting me at a deputy managerā€™s position for my magazineā€™s new branch. iā€™m excited.ā€
ā€œiā€™ve heard,ā€ the words rush from satoruā€™s mouth before he can stop them, feeling sheepish as you raise a brow at him. ā€œnot that iā€™ve been stalking you or anything! you hear things when youā€™re at the top!ā€Ā 
ā€œyeah, sure.ā€ you tease, enjoying watching gojo squirm.
a question heā€™s not sure heā€™s allowed to ask sits on the tip of his tongue and satoru pushes it around in his mouth hesitantly. ā€œhowā€¦howā€™s suguru?ā€
you perk up, tentatively choosing what to say next. ā€œo-ohā€¦heā€™s good? weā€™reā€¦our relationship is better now. it took a lot of work, but heā€™s healthy and happy. iā€¦ i think he misses you sometimes but, heā€™s still not ready yet.ā€Ā 
gojo nods once and chooses not to press about his ex best friend further. ā€œand how are you?ā€Ā 
ā€œm-me? i thought weā€™d just went over thatā€”ā€œ
your ex turns to face you fully, a pleading look on his face that shocks you out of your casual stance. you can still see how much he adores you and cares for you, as if it never left his nature to want the best for you.Ā 
ā€œare you happy?ā€Ā 
he asks the loaded question like itā€™s easy to answer and you do have to think about it. are you happy? youā€™ve been putting in the work to feel like that again, after breaking it off with satoru you were low. almost rock bottom. it was your first ever break up and it hit hard ā€” not to mention you didnā€™t have your older brother to fall back on at the time. you knew it was time to stop depending on others, it was time to grow your own spine. you took to therapy, you learned your triggers and icks and red flags. it took time and patience with yourself, but here you were, a year later and a little happier than when you saw satoru last.Ā 
ā€œyeah,ā€ you confirm with a shy nod, taking interest in your feet while you hide your smile. ā€œiā€™m happy. with myself, my work and my partnerā€”ā€œĀ 
partner?Ā 
ā€œā€”youā€™re dating someone?ā€ gojo quips as the elevator dings for the floor just before his.Ā 
ā€œahh yes! itā€™s still new butā€¦ he makes me happy. yuuta okkotsu, you might have seen him around? i hear his familyā€™s company and yours have done some work together.ā€ you seem bashful as you talk about yuuta, someone you met through work, someone your age. a sense of pride in being together taking over you. you show him off and boast about him in a way that you wished gojo would have done for you.Ā 
the revelation nearly kills satoru ā€” itā€™s like a bullet to the chest or a knife to his heart. envy bleeds from the open wound, pours down his front and taints his blood stream. it fucking hurts to know that youā€™ve moved on to someone who treats you better than he ever couldā€¦but you deserve it. you were so good to him and to the world that it would seem like a crime for you to end up with someone who didnā€™t love and appreciate you in the ways that they should.Ā 
that doesnā€™t make him feel any better though, it makes him feel as though he might die.Ā 
when the elevator reaches the gojoā€™s floorĀ  ā€” he falters in stepping out without saying goodbye or replying to you. he would be doing it to hurt you, and to be spiteful or petty. just like back then.Ā 
thereā€™s still so much that he wants to say to you ā€” so many things he wants to fix but he canā€™t shake the feeling that this was it. this was closure for the both of you.Ā 
as he exits, he whirls around with enough time to spare before the doors close on you, and this chapter of both of your lives ā€” just catching your bewildered expression. ā€œthank you, for everything,ā€ gojo calls to you fondly, watching your previous expressions morph into something soft and appreciative. ā€œiā€¦i really did love you, and if i could go back and do those two years over again. iā€™d be better, for you. iā€™d love you, properly.ā€Ā 
the doors to the elevator slowly begin to close and satoru steps forward at the same time as you ā€” it feels like youā€™re sharing one last goodbye.Ā 
ā€œi know,ā€ you say without a trace of malice, a wistfulness in your voice. ā€œiā€™m thankful to have been with you, because you taught me so much in such little time. iā€™d do it again, if we were better.ā€
a sad smile tugs at the cornerā€™s of gojoā€™s pink lips. ā€œin another life?ā€
ā€œin another life.ā€ you confirm, mirroring his smile as the elevator finally seals itself shut ā€” leaving him with his reflection on itā€™s cool, metal doors.
itā€™s a shame that you only have one life, and that there arenā€™t any do overs. that way, everyone could live a life without regret ā€” because gojo has his regrets, where he wishes that he loved you better, harder, moreā€¦so that youā€™d come back to him and you would be his.
Ā always.
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so redditors and other losers lurking on this thread. thatā€™s my update. i already know a lot of you are going to say that i deserve this ā€” and i do. but iā€™m happy for her, for both of them and i wish them both all the best. whaddya say, am i still the asshole?Ā 
END.
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ź’° thank you for reading. ā€” all rights reserved Ā© tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.
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washeduphazbin Ā· 10 months ago
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Hello! I really loved the Adam x Reader Wife interaction hehehe reminds me too much of the dialogue: -You're an Idiot. -Yes... But I'm YOUR idiot... And forever šŸ˜Œ Can we see a little more of this relationship?
You ABSOLUTELY can because it's the only thing on my mind since writing it. This will mostly be snippets of fluff between Adam and a female reader from my last one-shot. This is much shorter, but I wanted to give more of this dynamic before I work on a bit of a longer request someone sent in for them during the finale.
TLDR: Welcome to the Adamverse
ā‹…ā€¢ā‹…āŠ°āˆ™āˆ˜ā˜½ą¼“ā˜¾āˆ˜āˆ™āŠ±ā‹…ā€¢ā‹…
"So this absolute cunt really thought it'd be okay to take one look at me and suggest that those Losers in hell can really make it into heaven and be redeemed!" You hummed as Adam sat with his head in your lap, complaining about his musical meeting with Charolette Morningstar. He looked up at you through his black lashes with a pout on his lips; you very clearly weren't paying attention. You had a book in your hands, which was taking more of your attention than Adam was taking up.
Now, that was something he couldn't let happen.
Your book was thrown halfway across the room in one swift movement, "Adam." You huffed, looking down at his innocent face, twirling his brown hair around his finger.
"Reading will rot your brain." He brought a clawed hand to his head and made a crazy motion against his temple.
"Pretty sure you've got that backward, darling." You felt his wings shiver under your touch as you stroked them tenderly, finally giving him your undivided attention. He stretched out in your lap like an oversized cat; Adam hummed pleasantly,
"Readings for losers, and my wife is not a loser." He shot back, yelping as you tugged on one of his feathers. "You bitch, the fuck was that for!"
"You seem to forget how much your bitch wife loves to read fuckhead." You shot back with a dirty look,
"Jesus, what's got your panties in a twist! I'm the one who had a rough day. First, I got blue balled and couldn't get to finish inside your sweet pus, and then I had to go to the most painful meeting of my life with the biggest doe-eyed fool I've met since her father. Now my wife is ignoring me when I'm clearly in distress." He watched in amusement as you tossed your head back with a sigh; you...his favorite winner. You caught the softer look in his eyes as you glanced down at him,
"Adam, you know I love you more than anything."
"I'm aware of how great I am, yes- if you keep giving me those bedroom eyes, I'm not going to be able to hold back."
"Glaring Adam. I'm glaring at you. I in no way want to fuck you right now."
"Impossible. No one ever glares at me AND no one ever doesn't want to fuck the fuck master; I'm a goddam delight, sugar."
He watched you take a deep breath of air in, "You did not just call yourself the 'fuck master.'"
"Ugh, duh, of course, I did. I am the fuck master. I've never heard you complain about this dick babe."
"You're an idiot."
"Ugh, duh. But I'm your idiot, forever." He mused, wiggling his fingers with his wedding ring on it. "Because you're gross, and you love me,"
"Unfortunately."
"HEY!" He sat up, brows furrowing in frustration. His jaw was set in a way you only recognize as a moment of slight panic and stress. "The fucks that supposed to mean?" You sucked in a small intake of breath, cupping his cheeks between your palms. He glared at you but still nuzzled against the soft palms of your hands.
"Darling." You spoke softly, moving to rest your forehead against Adam's, "I love you. I wouldn't want to be with any other person in heaven, hell, or on earth." His eyes softened, and you could see his face drop, "You're annoying as hell. But so am I; that's like our thing." You gave a crooked grin, nuzzling your nose against his, only to nuzzle his nose right back against yours. "I love you and that you're trying to keep everyone here safe and protected."
"I am; I want to keep you safe. You don't belong down there with them, and they don't belong here with us." He nodded rapidly, "You're so...good."
"You're giving me far too much credit, I didn't do drugs, and I didn't kill anybody when I was alive. I wasn't like a saint."
"You're a saint to me." You felt your cheeks burn, and you hit Adam gently with your wings; you saw his face light up and snicker. "What? You are. My saintly wife," You let out a strangled sound of embarrassment as he began to pepper kisses against your face. "Who's so good at praying on her knees-"
"And you ruined it." Adam tossed his head back in a laugh, pulling you close to his chest. You hummed as he nuzzled his face into your breasts, ā€œAdam?ā€
ā€œHm?ā€
ā€œI love you.ā€
ā€œLove you too.ā€
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matsunoluvr Ā· 4 months ago
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ą­Øą­§ ā€§ā‚ŠĖš ā‹… when the love and deepspace boys get jealous
warnings: pouty men, jealous xavier is a warning in itself, sorry if i mischaracteriseā€¦. and i also have favourites LOLL
characters: sylus, zayne, rafayel, xavier
link to master list here!
author notes: all i can think of is pouty rafayel and jealous xavier my brain is a melted goop of lnds brainrotā€¦ also sorry for not posting in a while i was on holiday!!
also quick reminder that i have requests open but 1. iā€™ll get to them slowly and 2. please read my pinned post about rules!
more under the cut ~
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out of the four men i think sylus is the least jealous - now let me elaborate that possessiveness and jealousy (in my eyes) are very different
if you talk to another man, sylus both trusts you and has enough faith in himself to know that no matter what the dude does, sylus is yours and youā€™re his
he trusts you 100%, without a shadow of a doubt. and this translates through his lack of jealousy when you spend time with other people
however, if the man even attempts to lay a finger on you, his tone becomes too sweet or his hand inches a bit too close and youā€™re getting uncomfortable?
you bet your ass sylus is interfering.
immediately shifts his body to create distance between you and the other party
he flashes a dangerous look at the other man, evol glowing dangerously as it whispers a small warning into the otherā€™s ear
ā€œStay away and you get to stay alive.ā€
he seriously doesn't fuck around when it comes to your comfort and safety, and if he feels that another man is compromising it or pushing the boundaries it really ticks him off
when does sylus get jealous?
mostly when you start to spend less time with him and more time with others
itā€™s not as if as soon as you spend time with someone else he gets jealous, but if it causes you to start to ignore him/spend less time with him he gets jealous
when he gets jealous, he doesnā€™t hide it at all
sylus isnā€™t one to keep his feelings from you, so when you see his displeasured frown you know immediately something is up
he doesnā€™t get angry or petty when jealous, he just makes it clear that heā€™s not happy with the division of attention
when you ask him whatā€™s up, he gives you the answer plain and simple
ā€œGetting bored of me already? How come youā€™re spending more time with [ā€¦] than me, Iā€™m jealous.ā€
his voice is slow and clearly unimpressed, crossing his arms as he looks you up and down.
luckily for you, heā€™s not hard to win over
spend time with him, even if itā€™s not active such as going out to restaurants or to one of his formal events
the two of you sitting in comfortable silence, him reading a magazine and you looking through moments, thatā€™s more than enough for him
heā€™s not opposed to displays of physical affection either, cuddling or kisses to his face - anything that tells him ā€œyouā€™re mine/iā€™m yoursā€ will satisfy him
just make sure not to spend TOO much time with the other person, otherwise sylus might seriously hunt them down
heā€™d never make you jealous on purpose, he had no interest in other women/men at all and respects you way too much to pull petty moves like that
when sylus accidentally makes you jealous, heā€™ll definitely pamper you, spoil you with gifts and spend time with you
wanted to get the new limited edition plushie? heā€™ll stay in the arcade with you until you get all of them. wanted a new game on steam? heā€™s bought both the game, all the dlcs and any in game passes and currency.
Somewhere at some point during the day he'll simply come clean about it, after all he's a straight forward man and he trusts you.
"I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't mean to make you jealous. Forgive me, please?"
tldr; sylus is a love sick loser that knows youā€™re equally in love with him as he is with you
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here goes the award to the most composed LI - zayne gets jealous alright, not nearly as much as the coming two but he still gets jealous
it's not that he doesn't trust you, but watching you smile so brightly to the cafƩ employee or get a little too friendly with another doctor sets him on edge
if you're talking to male friends/giving them friendly hugs zayne's completely fine with it, he's happy to see you surrounded by people who care for you and for you to be happy too
at first it's hard to tell when zayne gets jealous, he has a poker face that would put lady gaga to shame
however, after a while you discover the few subtleties that give away his disgruntled state
for example, if you're talking a bit too excitedly or friendly to the barista - especially one you'd both met just today - there'd be a little crease in his forehead, his mouthwould be a fraction more downturned and his eyes a bit narrower as if he was squinting
or if you talk to him about a male colleague when you two were supposed to be out on a date, he'd definitely be jealous... however the only give away would be the faintest purse of his lips and twitch of his eyebrow
if you ask him if he's jealous he's going to deny it, he usually doesn't lie but when it comes to vulnerable emotions such as jealousy i feel he'd have difficulties expressing them
"Jealous? I'm not jealous, don't worry about me."
but then the right side of his mouth is twitching a little and if you focus hard enough he gives the impression of a kicked puppy, a very subtle hint of 'give me attention'
if you manage to learn the art of 'zayne expression reading' and finally notice that he's not 'lactose-intolerant-and-having-stomach-issues-causing-him-to-look-like-that' but in fact jealous, here's a few ways to heal your zayne!!
zayne specialists recommend a good dosage of subtle affections - e.g. bringing up one of his interests or reminiscing upon something you two did in the past, basically indicating to him 'hey, i still love you most in the world!'
he's a perceptive man and will pick up on what you're doing relatively quick, and his little grumpy face will relax back into the unconscious, soft smile he adopts when in your presence
if he accidentally makes you jealous, he makes sure you know more than anyone else in the world that he's yours and yours only.
reciprocates the small gestures such as holding your hand in public or introducing you to his colleagues
"Good afternoon to you too. I believe you haven't met [Y/N] before?"
and then he'll adjust his hand placement, sliding from patting your shoulder to gentle resting on the small of your back, a little intimate gesture that screams "I'm their partner."
makes sure by the end of the day he's got the message across, and at one point brings it up (even though you've basically forgotten what he did to make you jealous anyways)
"I didn't mean to upset you, [Y/N]. I love you only, no one else could replace you, I promise."
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okay, yeah, we made it to jealous, pouty, bratty man territory
thereā€™s an evident gap between zayne level jealousy and rafayel level jealousy
donā€™t get me wrong, rafayel would do anything you asked of him - partially because of his whole lumerian bond and also because heā€™s utterly whipped for you
does he love you? thatā€™s a stupid question to ask oh course he doesā€¦ but does he truly trust you?
iā€™d like to think that rafayel (if he was dating you in this situation) is absolutely devoted to you and trusts you wholeheartedly, but in reality rafayel has deep engraved fears and uncertainties
he has a fear of being forgotten about, and likely (as a consequence of being forgotten multiple times) - the idea of being abandoned or replaced sends physical chills down his spine
so honestly, rafayelā€™s jealousy stems from the unwavering fear of being left alone, lost and forgotten againā€¦
the pain of being forgotten, itā€™s not something heā€™s willing to go through any more, causing it to be difficult to fully reassure him that youā€™re his.
on a more lighter, more playful level, rafayelā€™s jealousy would probably lay with animals - specifically cats and sea creatures
one day he finds that instead of lazing about with him indoors, that you were outside napping with a cat on your lap
if he wasnā€™t so afraid of the cat concerned for your quality and length of sleep he wouldā€™ve had a go at the cat as it smirked triumphantly at him, licking its paws as it rolls around in your lap.
when complaining later on he would be his usual, petulant self, pouting and crossing his arms, tilting his chin up etc
ā€œI guess you prefer those furry monsters over a fishie like me, why donā€™t you just leave me for one?ā€
to fix this petty brattiness is simple!
simply devote all your attention and affections to rafayel, as in when you two are alone and spending time together you can just pat his head or trace his beauty marks
heā€™ll be pouting the whole time, but after a few pats heā€™ll get embarrassed and his ears will go red as he says something like ā€œIā€™m not a catā€¦ā€ yet he still lets you pet him lol
rafayel especially likes it when you gently stroke at the roots of his hair, leaning into your touch a little every time you thread deeper into his hair
however, if you spend too much time with another man rather than rafayel, itā€™s a whole different type of jealousy/insecurity
heā€™s quiet, too quiet, and withdrawn
the situation was deeply confusing the first time around
itā€™s as if you ordered the wrong rafayel, what happened to his usual bratty and playful personality? this wasnā€™t like all the other times.
unlike his childish display of jealousy when you were with the cat, this time he had a schooled expression, blank, a facade
his expression was eerie, youā€™d never seen him like this, soā€¦ emotionless seeming
rafayel, really, was emotionally detaching from the relationship - he still loves you oh my god he adores you so much heā€™d sacrifice everything he had for you, but the idea of you preferring that other person over him?
it sends him into panic, and all he (believed he) could do was numb himself, anticipate the leave or him getting forgotten
(am i projecting too much hereā€¦ avoidant attachment rafayel believer and lover šŸ˜žšŸ™)
if he withdrew from the relationship first, maybe it would hurt less being left again
of course you werenā€™t intending to leave him, so how do you fix this?
well, as unhealthy as this may seem, spending less time with the new person and more time with rafayel really would be the only way i could think of making him feel better
saying things such as ā€œRafayel I would never leave you.ā€ can only provide him with short-term reassurance, after all how many times have you said that before and then still proceeded to leave him?
instead, caress him gently, give him time to feel safe in the relationship again. late night calls where you two fall asleep together or hold him in your arms as you two both sleep at night
this avoidant attachment style will, however, probably go when you two start dating, since in dating you rafayel has probably decided to let you into his heart and whole heartedly trusts you now :)
if rafayel accidentally makes you jealous, depending on the severity (again) hereā€™s what heā€™d do
if it was a simple thing (such as spending too much time with the shakes idk something more tame) heā€™d definitely tease you
ā€œAwwh cutie? Getting jealous of the sharks? Donā€™t worry, I prefer you over them any day.ā€
heā€™ll have this smug ass grin that pisses you off, as much as it makes you love him too
rafayel will give you more hugs and gifts than usual for a while after, claiming itā€™s ā€˜nothingā€™ and that youā€™re ā€™hallucinating thingsā€™ when you ask what heā€™s doing
really heā€™s apologising, but you donā€™t need to know that
if he made you really jealous/upset heā€™ll make is extremely clear to you that he belongs to you, his heart and will is yours
will become more clingy and affectionate with you (not that he does it on purpose infact heā€™s only showing his true desires more), forever. like, you get jealous? donā€™t worry, literally for the rest of your life youā€™ll know that rafayel is head-over-heels for you.
tldr: he needs a hug :( also i ended up writing way more than intended but im a rafayel lover, writer and if he has no stans left im dead
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here he is, the most jealous and arguably possessive man in lnd.
xavier tries to hide it, but everyone knows that heā€™s yours, without a shadow of a doubt
we all saw what happened with jeremiah, donā€™t make me pull out the receipts LOL. like jeremiah was just happy to finally see the girl xavier was lining over for centuries and xavier was already losing his shit šŸ˜­
literally anyone talking to you too affectionately will tick him off, but xavierā€™s too sly to make it obvious
youā€™re talking to a doctor (cough zayne) ? xavier brings up some sort of old medicine they donā€™t or asks about their speciality so you stop talking to them
talking to a protocore specialist? heā€™ll all of a sudden be holding a textbook worthy protocore, worth the poor persons whole shop
a florist? heā€™s pointing at every flower and naming them, both common and scientific name.
ā€œOh [Y/N], look at that flower. I believe itā€™s called a Lonicera periclymenum?ā€
*turns to face the clearly shocked and flustered florist with a polite smile*
ā€œWell, maybe you know it as a honeysuckle, is that correct?ā€
after living for so long heā€™s learnt many things, and boy does he use it to his advantage
when xavier gets jealous, he doesnā€™t expect anything from you, no no, this man is a service boyfriend if iā€™ve ever seen one, he was MADE to please you
rather than thinking ā€œoh you donā€™t like me anymore iā€™m so upsetā€œ he thinks ā€œi need to serve and show you iā€™m yours.ā€
do you like sweet things? heā€™s buying you chocolates of all kinds, if thatā€™s not your jam heā€™s got pastries, or candy, or fresh fruit, maybe everything in a little gift box
prefer savoury foods? heā€™ll cook you a meal that he knows you like (even if you donā€™t trust the food) heā€™ll practice making it until you like it
if you talk about another person when youā€™re one on one with him, heā€™ll do little things to get your attention, maybe bite your finger softly or tuck hair behind your ear, little fleeting touches and such
cheeky little grins and conversational diversions such as 'Oh? What about you, how did you do in the exam?' or 'What were you buying in the supermarket?' - more ways of saying "i'm yours, don't forget"
but if you wanted to reassure xavier, physical affections such as cuddling and kisses can win him over
nap with him for a few nights (really he forgave you the first night, he just pretended to be grumpy with you for a while longer for more naps) and heā€™ll be satisfied (for now)
ā€œCome cuddle with me starlight, Iā€™ve still not forgiven you.ā€
(heā€™s lying, he forgave you like a week ago)
likes it when you play with his hair when you two cuddle - now this makes me want to write abt how the men cuddle lol
if he accidentally makes you jealous itā€™d probably be when the two of you are on a mission and he flirts with another woman to easily progress through a mission
the two of you are in the hotel room and youā€™re sulking in the bed, turning away from him and clearly displeased
xavier knows youā€™re jealous, and can only huff out an amused breath - he doesnā€™t like that youā€™re feeling bad but heā€™s happy that youā€™re jealousā€¦ means you like him as much as he likes you!
he gently walks over to the bed, shifting onto the duvet beside you and reaches out to touch your shoulder - making sure youā€™re okay with him touching you
if you let him, heā€™ll lie down next to you and slowly wrap his arms around you, spooning you from behind as he slowly kisses the top of your head
slipping your shirt down to just below your shoulder, he gives the skin of your back gentle kisses as he apologises
ā€œIā€™m sorry, it was for the mission. Iā€™ve only ever loved you, so please donā€™t be angry.ā€
and then he nuzzled into your back until you finally cave in, twisting around and hugging him back.
heā€™ll be seriously apologetic about it though, and in the future avoid such intimate forms of gathering information even *if* you told him it was okay
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AN; i got way too carried away with rafayel ANYWAYS hope you enjoy and now i want to write smaller hcs on how the men cuddle lolol
also this isnā€™t proofread no beta we die like caleb ig
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fullhalalalchemist Ā· 1 year ago
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šŸšØšŸšØCONGRESS SECRETLY TRYING TO SNEAK IN EARN IT ACT COPYCAT INTO MUST PASS SPENDING BILL (PLEASE READ EXTREMELY IMPORTANT)
July 20, 2023 Congress is right now determining what is included in a must pass spending bill the NDAA. Often congress will sneakily add as amendments their bills that they can't pass in a normal setting.
If you remember, I made a previous post about EARN IT being reintroduced here.
The EARN IT Act and it's copycats are bipartisan bills that will greatly censor if not completely eliminate encryption and anything sexual and LGBTQ+ from the internet, globally. Anything the far-right doesn't like will be completely gone. The best way to stop them is to use https://www.badinternetbills.com/ to call your senators.
Following it's initial introduction earlier this year was massive opposition from human rights, LGBT, tech, political groups, and grassroots groups. Bc of this, the senators decided to remake the bill but give it a new name, so they can still pass Earn It without actually passing Earn It. Those bills are the Stop CSAM Act (yes really, they actually named it that), and the Cooper-Davis act.
The entire point of these bills is to mass surveil and censor everyone and I don't know why more people or senators speak out against it. There is a direct timeline from when the Attorney General Barr (under Trump) said he wanted to do this to it's initial introduction in 2019, and how the senators explicitly knew they couldn't actually say that so they lied and said it was about "stopping CSAM" or "stopping drugs" for Cooper-Davis Act.
These bills essentially do the following:
they gut encryption, the one thing actually protects you from having your data seen by anyone. Do you want republicans to know you're trans? that someone had an abortion? that they spoke out against the govt? to see your private photos you have uploaded to the cloud? to see what porn you watch? if youre a journalist, or an abuse survivor, any hacker or abuser can see your stuff and track you.
they gut parts of Section 230, the one thing that allows anyone to post online and birthed social media. Previous gutting into 230 gave us the tumblr nsfw ban and killed that site.
they create an unelected commission with some already established govt body (DOJ, FTC, etc) that will include law enforcement and people from NCOSE or other Christian conservative groups who will decide what is and isn't lawful to say. no citizen can vote who's on this commission, and the president gets to pick. it's like the supreme court, but for the internet.
lead to mass censorship and surveillance because of the above
We have until the end of the month to stop this, but this can be added literally any moment until then. It's literally code red. If this is added it goes into effect immediately. The BEST way to stop this is to drive calls and emails to the senate. https://www.badinternetbills.com/ connects you directly to your members of congress & gives you a call script.
It is ESSENTIAL to call the Senate leaders who can stop this. Here's a more precise call script you can use: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1huD5Ldd1lPTECYTEb9Gg2ZzrqW6Y9tryHT-MdjOl8kY/edit
All these people expressed concern over Earn It, so we need to press them hard to not allow it's copycats Cooper-Davis or Stop CSAM into the NDAA. This is URGENT and needs all hands on deck. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) (202) 224-6542 Maria Cantwell (D-WA) (202) 224-3441 Jon Ossof (D-GA) (202)-224-3521 Alex Padilla (D-CA) (202) 224-3553 Cory Booker (D-NJ) (202) 224-3224 Mike Lee (R-UT) (202) 224-5444
Please please please spread this message and blow up their phones.
TLDR; The Senate is trying to quietly push the Earn It Act's copycat bills into the must pass NDAA, which will lead to mass censorship and surveillance online by gutting Section 230 which is the entire reason you can even be on tumblr and why the internet exists, killing encryption which put everyone's lives in danger, and appointing far-right people to a supreme court-esque commission that the president has direct control over. They could be added in ANY DAY and we need to push hard to stop it before it gets to that point. CALL YOUR SENATORS **NOW** BY USING https://www.badinternetbills.com/ AND CALL THE SENATE LEADERSHIP AND SPREAD THE WORD!!!!
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impactedfates Ā· 11 days ago
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Yapper Boyfriend - Various HSR Boys x GN!Reader
ā˜… Summary: Your boyfriend loves to talk and you love to listen, though sometimes it puts a stop to what you're doing or you can tell it's getting him worked up. So what better why to make sure he's happy then stopping him with a kiss? (TLDR: Shutting your boyfriend up w/ a kiss)
ā˜† Characters Included (Separate): Argenti , Boothill, Mr Reca, Dr Ratio, Dan Heng + Sunday
ā˜… Genre/Trope: Established Relationship + Romantic + Fluff
ā˜† Warnings: None
ā˜… Extra: Mr Reca may be OOC (Getting used to his character still) // Sunday may be OOC // Slightly Proof Read // Writing kiss scenes are awkward...
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Your beautiful boyfriend Argenti, he was the greenest flag you've ever met. You never minded his yapping and praises for Idrila, that's just how he was. And honestly, seeing him hold a long dead god with such high regard after all this time was admirable.
Though at times, it can interrupt your dates. And that's what was happening now. You were both visiting a planet and stumbled upon a shrine for the very goddess he worships. Immediately, he lets go of your hand and kneels in front of it, he sings his praises to it.
You could only sigh and smile softly as he did so. Though that wasn't the end of the praises you heard, even after walking away. The conversation you were having with your boyfriend slowly turned into him praising Idrila again. You knew why, it was rare to find any followers of Beauty these days let alone find a shrine dedicated to her.
Though, you'd much prefer singing praises to him and how great he was. You didn't mind too much listening. You knew he was passionate about his goddess and who were you to stop him. You couldn't help but admire him. You also couldn't mind just...
"It's just fantastic isn't it my love? Seeing a shrine so well kept for goddess Idrila. It's just-"
You quickly leaned up, kissing him softly on the lips. He was quick to reciprocate, leaning into your touch before you two pulled away.
"I...aha, sorry. Was I going on again my dear?"
"Don't worry, continue. You just looked so passionate about this, I couldn't help myself"
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"Those forking, son of a nice ladies!!"
Your lover huffed. Boothill crossed his arms as he grumbled, letting you mess with his hair as he continued to complain. It was understandable, the IPC was incredibly annoying this time around. He wanted to get a drink at the nearby bar but some of the IPC subordinates were there and quickly tried to pick a fight with him.
Causing all of them to be kicked out. He grumbled more as he kept muttering things under his breath. A 'mother forking' here, a few 'shirt bags' there and of course 'fudge heads'
Your hands worked to braid his hair slowly, hoping it would calm him down like the previous times but it seems as though you'd have to use a different tactic.
You leaned his head towards you before quickly planting a kiss on his lips, effectively stopping his next words from coming out. He sat there in surprise, even after you pulled away, he just looked at you before quickly turning away with a chuckle.
"Well I'll be damned...got me there sweetheart"
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"Reca-"
"And the camera movement! Why focus on the trees when the drama is happening with the characters!?"
"Rec-"
"Oh and don't get me STARTED on the lighting, like really? That kind of lighting for that kind of scene?"
"...Re-"
"OH AND DID I MENTION-"
You sighed, your attempts at even just soothing your partner's emotions coming to a fail. How could you do anything if he's going to criticize the movie you had just watched. Or was this just spite because you complimented one of the characters? You could only listen as Mr Reca continued his onslaught on the film's cinematography.
God you knew yourself the film was bad. This was meant to be a fun date night as you two cringed at the movies but your boyfriend was getting rather into it. Eventually after 5 minutes of this thorough review, you reach over, putting your hands gently on either side of his face, cupping his cheek. You quickly lean in to kiss him before he could utter another word.
When you pulled away he looked at you stunned for a second before grinning like an idiot. That god damn smile you fell in love with.
"Perfect! Brilliant! You see, THAT is what the lead should've done during that confession scene!"
You couldn't help but let out a laugh as he took your hands into his, as he praised your action, comparing it to the film. You will say though, your plan of stopping his review on the film was a success, even if now he was ranting about how great the "scene" was when you kissed him.
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Aeons you only asked one question, you figured your boyfriend would know and now you're stuck listening to Dr Ratio yap about something, that you can't even tell has any correlation to your original question.
It's not that you minded, you loved learning new facts but the problem was...checking the time, if he didn't notice soon Dr Ratio would be late to his next lesson...and while that could be interesting and funny to see.
The oh so strict Dr Ratio late to his lesson. You didn't want that for him. But you didn't know how to stop him, when he gets into a lecture he really gets into it. So how could you...
Ah! You got it.
You stood up and walked towards him, tugging on his shirt so he'd turn his head towards you, you leaned up and kissed him. It was quick and simple before you pulled away.
"I-...what was that for?"
Oho, a blushing and flustered Dr Ratio is so much better then a late Dr Ratio.
"You have a class to attend remember?"
"...[Name], I don't go to school anymore"
"...Darling...you're a teacher"
When those words left your mouth you could see him mentally face palm as he quickly grabbed his items. He muttered out a thank you as he kissed your cheek, checking his phone to see how much more time he had left before rushing to his class.
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Now Dan Heng wasn't really a yapper. He often listened to you yapping instead. And on the occasion he would shut you up with a kiss. It always made you flustered, and it wasn't even to really shut you up to be quiet. He just couldn't help himself, you looked so passionate in your topic he couldn't help but lean in to give you some affection before gesturing you to continue.
For once, you wanted to do it to him. To kiss him when he was rambling about something, make him flustered and just motion him to continue. But he wasn't one to easily ramble about something.
You eventually came up with an idea though, it wasn't exactly the best and it didn't exactly involve him rambling but...y'know if it works it works.
You asked him to read out the some of the texts to the databank, like a story book. He blinked at you confused but agreed. He read one, two and another until you finally put your plan into motion, you leaned up to kiss him. He was stunned for a moment as you pulled away.
"...was that your plan all along? To shut me up with a kiss?"
"...maybe"
He let out a small chuckle. Shaking his head in disbelief.
"You're unbelievable, to ask me to read out the data banks just so you could shut me up with a kiss"
You stayed silent for a bit with a blush, realising how silly the plan sounded now.
"...please continue with the databank talk..."
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ā€œIā€™m sorryā€
Those words were the first thing uttered out of his mouth when you saw him again. When you opened the door and saw your boyfriend again.
ā€œIā€™mā€¦soā€¦so sorryā€
He repeats, holding your hand as he brings it up to his face. He looks at you, you can tell heā€™s holding back tears. Aeons you havenā€™t seen him sinceā€¦well, the incident with the Charmony festive. You havenā€™t seen him since he was imprisoned, how he managed to get out?
You didnā€™t care, your boyfriend was back butā€¦he didnā€™t look well.
ā€œI-I didnā€™tā€¦I thoughtā€¦ā€
He struggled to get the words out, holding your hand as if you were a delicate doll and one wrong move would break you apart and heā€™d be alone again.
ā€œā€¦I just wanted the best for everyoneā€¦I-I promiseā€¦Iā€¦I didnā€™t thinkā€¦aboutā€¦all the detailsā€¦I-I thought what I was doing was right but it wasnā€™tā€¦aeonsā€¦Iā€™ve hurt so many people havenā€™t Iā€¦ā€
You listened, hearing his apologies just spill out as tears threatened to follow suit. He couldnā€™t even look you in the eye anymore, he felt too ashamed too. How could he after all that heā€™s done?
Yet another apology was about to leave his lips until he felt soft ones fall on top of his. He froze, eyes widening in surprise as you kissed him.
Howā€¦
How could youā€¦still give him affection? When he finally looked at you, you looked at him so gently, so kindly.
How
How did he deserve that? No he doesnā€™t deserve that, he doesnā€™t deserve the way you gently lead him into your house, sit him down and hug himā€¦youā€™reā€¦happy heā€™s okay?
He watched you carefully as you went to brew a cup of tea for the both of youā€¦Aeons, heā€™s so lucky to have you.
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Sorry for not uploading in while. Schools hectic and Iā€™m a year away before I have to plan on colleges.
Anyways, I hope you all liked this one ^^
I tried to make sure the ā€œkissesā€ were done at an appropriate time/scenario if that makes sense
I have another draft in the works so hopefully Iā€™ll get it done eventually
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greencheekconure27 Ā· 4 months ago
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hey what's your beef with peta? if it's that they operate "kill shelters" you might want to read the newsweek fact check https://www.newsweek.com/fact-check-peta-responsible-deaths-thousands-animals-1565532 (tldr: "Just as a hospice has a high mortality rate, so does a shelter that takes in those near end-of-life, feral, aggressive, dying and discarded animals." "Cherry-picking animals to only allow in the most adoptable at shelters with limited admission (otherwise known as 'no-kill') policies doesn't help and often leads to people dumping animals, or neglecting them in other ways,")
Oh no it's so much more than that.Constant spreading of pseudoscience and misinformation, ableist campaigns (such as "drinking milk causes autism", racist and antisemitic campaigns (comparing pig farming to the Holocaust for instance), sexist campaigns under the guise of feminism (veganism is feminist because cows have a womb they are women too) more misinformation and pseudoscience, financial scams, at least one instance of abducting someone's beloved and cared for pet to euthanize it, harassment, using emotional manipulation on children ("your mommy is a murderer because she eats meat" etc), harassing and breaking into zoos and research labs , frequently killing the wild animals they rescue, that one bullshit monkey photograph lawsuit, being against ALL animal agriculture and hunting EVERYWHERE, being opposed to pets (yes cats and dogs too), actually paying people to abuse farm animals for staged videos, cultish behavior,absolutely insane ideas, and oh, misinformation and pseudoscience.
As to kill shelters, it's the lies and the hypocrisy that bothers me, because these are the same fucking people who will insist they're doing good by keeping animals alive when they have no quality of life to speak of anymore. One moment they're gushing over some poor piglet born without trotters or blind legless bird being kept alive and miserable for months, the next they're all pro euthanizing healthy animals en masse, all while they collect donations for both.
I know a lot of people donate to them in good faith but don't. Even if you are vegan. They're not doing anything good with that money.
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nicosraf Ā· 7 months ago
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Wait what did Freydis Moon do? :( I've read their books and really liked them, but I don't follow them anywhere online, so that last ask you got worried me
Freydis Moon has been exposed to be Taylor Barton, a white person from the state of Oregon, someone who had a history of faking their race, being racist, and general abusive behavior. You can read more here about this Taylor person here, and you can find an incredibly long thread here.
Freydis was a colleague of mine, and they took me under their wing when I entered the indie book scene. They presented themselves as a Latine, mystic, queer trans author ā€” who was older than me, I should add ā€” so I deeply admired them and confided in them. I don't think ABM would have ever gotten much attention if I hadn't received their guidance.
There had been some whispers that Freydis was really Taylor, but I'd seen Frey's seemingly darker-skinned hands and heard their real name, which was supposedly Daniela.
Two things I should say before the big reveal: Freydis briefly hired a publicist named Cordi, who was also an agent with their own agency, named The Lynne Agency. Cordi, very randomly, decided to leave the industry and left their clients, and Freydis, hanging. Someone else to mention is Saint Harlow, an author of gay, cannibal erotica. On twitter, Saint was known for peddling a lot of drama ā€” sometimes, he was on the good side of things and sometimes the bad, but he tended to be a massive bully. Freydis allegedly comforted some of Saint's victims.
And the reveal:
Freydis is the race faker Taylor Barton. The evidence is substantial, but most notably, some of the files they shared with other authors, including me, had metadata with the names of Taylor Barton's other identities. I was able to check the files myself to confirm.
They were also Saint Harlow. Meaning Freydis was bullying people secretly on one account and comforting them on another. And the bullying was a lot more disgusting than you might think, but for the sake of the victim, I won't share details.
They were also the publicist/agent Cordi. Why did they pretend to be an agent at all? I'm not sure but they wasted a lot of authors' times, that's for sure. Were they just looking to plagiarize off manuscripts sent to them? Who knows. (A friend of mine who sent their manuscript to them fears so).
There were a lot of interactions between Taylor and I that are much much weirder in retrospect. They critiqued the industry use of #ownvoices, which I agreed about, but blew the issue out of proportion, like thinking #ownvoices gay-trans author book lists shouldn't exist because of potential outing, mlm books by mlm authors lists shouldn't exist because of potential outing, and that lists of books by people of color about people of color also shouldn't exist because... potential outing? Taylor was, to me, oddly sympathetic toward certain authors accused of racism and shot down my concerns of a certain book with what I felt to be pro-colonizer themes inconsistently ā€” their response to racism seemed to depend on whether they already disliked a person or not.
I could say a lot more but as someone who spoke to Taylor in private at times, there were a lot of things I was unsure about even when I was on their side of things. To some people, apparently, Freydis had said they were part Mexican, but only ever told me they were Peruvian (they might've known I'd clock them as a faker). Regardless, when this all came to light, their response was shockingly dismissive.
This may be more info than you asked for but TLDR:
Freydis Moon faked their race and ethnicity, bullied and manipulated many readers and authors using various fake identities, took advantage of latine author resources, and so on.
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clock-06 Ā· 3 months ago
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Thereā€™s this idea of a dynamic for BillFord thatā€™s been causing havoc in my skull and begs for escape, so itā€™s gonna get to today.
Basically Ford is more self aware and catches onto the fact that Bill has fallen for him, and starts manipulating him back for his own goals. Cause Ford was already a mad scientist, thereā€™s a reason Bill thought Ford would join him in weirdmaggedon (go re-read the Rudolph thing, heā€™s pretty unhinged)
Ford was nerdy as hell, and definitely took a psych class in college, and starts using operant conditioning on Bill. While Bill does have feelings for Ford, he still sees him as lesser, because heā€™s Human, and figures Sixer doesnā€™t have the capacity to manipulate or disobey him, and by the point itā€™s an active plan, Ford has conditioned him enough to not even check.
Itā€™s a slow start, but Ford figures out that Bill is more willing to do things for him when heā€™s given rewards for it, ie, calling him ā€œMuseā€ tends to make him put more effort into things, he has favorite sweaters that Ford wears and Bill will be more attentive to what Ford wants or needs when heā€™s wearing them. Eventually, Ford starts using these as rewards when Bill is forwarding Fordā€™s goals instead of his own, and very soon has a personal and trained dream demon.
By the time the Portal is fully built and operational, Bill has basically told the Henchmaniacs ā€œHey, weā€™ll do that apocalypse thing after IQ and I have a little research trip across a few dimensions, Iā€™ve got to make sure he stays safe cause heā€™s my ticket to the portalā€ and theyā€™re all like ā€œexcuse me fucking what no just kill himā€ and after the first few protesting comments end with the utterer in dust, the rest of the gang just shuts up, most of whom vow to get Sixer killed while he and Bill are traveling together.
Because everythingā€™s going according to plan, Stanley isnā€™t called to the Shack to hide the journals, but rather to protect the shack and journals while Ford is traveling. Itā€™s a very confusing letter, and by the time Stan determines that itā€™s actually real, he barely gets there in time to watch his brother disappear through the portal before it autolocks and shuts down. He still starts up the Mystery Shack because he feels weird about the money Ford left him, unsure if itā€™s actually real, and needs a way of income. The twins still do come to visit for the summer, and Stanley still legally becomes Stanford as a cover story, but itā€™s not a car crash this time because Ford left behind an intricate plan for how to erase him without leaving any trace and Stan goes ā€œwell Iā€™m wanted for a lot of crimes, Iā€™ll just use this for myself.ā€
There is more Bill memorabilia around the house because Ford wants to be able to keep an eye on what Stan is doing, and Dipper does find the third Journal, hidden in the floorboards beneath his bed, and the pages on bill contain a detailed account of his powers as well as invisible ink containing the plans for Weirdmaggedon that Ford knows Bill has. This leads to Dipper fucking hyperventilating and trying to warn them all about Bill, which is very awkward when he comes back through the portal, lying contentedly in Fordā€™s fluffy hair.
TLDR: Ford realizes two can play the manipulation game and plays with Billā€™s feelings for his own benefit, and Stan gets the shack because Ford goes through the portal to keep researching and writing his journals with an overpowered dream demon happily pressed under his heel
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nyaagolor Ā· 1 year ago
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Thinking about Franziska Von Karma again and the weird relationship she has to like. Femininity. This is a reading so far divorced from the author's intent that I was debating even posting it but w/e. anyway.
I think that there's a lot to be said about the ways that Franziska both embodies and rejects traditional aspects of femininity and how it ties into a lot of her deeper seated emotional conflicts. She presents herself as feminine in her movements and her outfits, but her actions are loud and violent and often immature at times, which I think is a really fun opposite to Manfred
Because while Franziska is a feminine presenting woman who embraces aspects seen as masculine, Manfred is a masculine presenting man who takes certain aspects seen as feminine as a power play to make him seem more elegant and professional. But!! in the same breath that Manfred's jewelry and eloquence make the other characters perceive him as graceful without that diminishing the power and intimidation he has, Franziska adopting masculine aspects make the other characters not take her seriously and see her as childish and unprofessional
Franziska adopts aspects of gender norms opposite from her presentation just like her father, but what works for him hurts her, and I think that's kind of a running theme in everything she does. She idolizes and emulates him, but she's in a catch-22-- she's so far removed from what he is and is so fundamentally different from him in so many ways that her attempts to copy him just come back to bite her, because it just doesn't run both ways and they were operating under a completely different set of expectations
TLDR I think Franziska is trying to play by Manfred's rulebook not realizing they were playing a different game from the start
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genshin-impact-updates Ā· 4 months ago
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Rollback: Fix to Abnormal Rotation Speed for Neuvillette's Charged Attack
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Dear Travelers,
After the Version 4.8 update, we have been paying close attention to the feedback regarding the new version, of which includes the fix to the abnormal rotation speed for Neuvillette's Charged Attack. After reading through all of your feedback, we truly understand everyone's concerns. We are sincerely sorry that this fix has resulted in an unsatisfactory experience for our Travelers, and we realize that no matter what the original intention was, modifications to any released characters would hurt the trust and support that our players have given us. Thus, we would like to sincerely apologize to all of you.
[TLDR: 1,600 free Primogems and Neuvillette change reversed in future update]
Prior to this, the dev team noticed that under certain circumstances, players could achieve high-speed rotations with Neuvillette during his Charged Attack by adjusting the sensitivity or mouse DPI settings, which allowed them to inflict 360Ā° damage. However, for Travelers using different devices, achieving similar results proved to be difficult. Moreover, the high camera rotation speed would result in a visual blur of game scenery and enemies, which significantly deviates from the usual gaming experience.
The developers' original intention was to ensure that under normal gameplay Neuvillette's Charged Attack damage remained consistent without affecting the intended controls by Travelers (whereby a normal rotation speed or shaking could be achieved). With this premise, we aimed to adjust the rotation speed to a reasonable range, to ensure Travelers' consistent experience over different devices.
With multiple factors needed to be considered, repeated discussions and testing, the fix was implemented in Version 4.8.
After the fix went live and Travelers experienced it firsthand, players provided a lot of feedback regarding the fix. Some Travelers mentioned that using Neuvillette's Charged Attack now felt more clunky, which was indeed an oversight on our part.
Therefore, after gathering and compiling feedback and suggestions from Travelers, we have decided to rollback this fix in a subsequent update and issue a compensation of Primogems Ɨ1,600 to Travelers accordingly.
Please stay tuned for further notices regarding the specific update schedule and issuance of compensation.
We once again sincerely apologize to all of the Travelers. We thank you for your support, it is because of all of you that Genshin Impact has come this far. In future updates, we will be more cautious in decisions related to content that has been released to provide the best possible gaming experience for Travelers.
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stealingyourbones Ā· 2 years ago
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Hi! So I was into DP years ago, then earlier this year got into Batfam fics, then saw my first DC x DP crossover and just šŸ’„
So now Iā€™m on a new obsession that has me reading every one of your prompts and any stories that come from it and I just had this one flood my brain:
Presumed Alien Danny
So for [insert reason here] Danny has to flea Amity and the living world to stay in the Zone. Heā€™s injured, and therefore forced to use the Fenton Specter Speeder, and flies it into the portal. Only, whether due to a malfunction, Clockwork, or something else, instead of the Ghost Zone, the Speeder gets spat out of a portal in the DC universe.
So, on the other side, the Watchtower gives an alert that an unknown energy is spiking nearby, and then a spaceship/pod looking thing comes flying out of a flash of green. Itā€™s spinning out of control, and headed for a desert on Earth. A team is dispatched, Iā€™m thinking Superman (alien), Green Lantern (alien law enforcement) and Batman (obvious. Kid bait).
So they get there within moments of the crash, find the thing totaled, Superman hears a strange, humming/thrumming accompanied by groans, and he cracks whatā€™s left of it open to see this green-eyed, white-haired kid with very bad injuries and green blood covering what looks like it could have been some kind of space suit. He grabs the kid, gets him out, and Lantern makes a shield that contains the massive explosion that leaves the ship/pod nothing but charred bits lying scattered across the sand.
They get the clearly alien child to the watchtower for medical help, and though they heal very quickly they still need a lot of stitches, mainly because the first set melted and they had to use ones designed for metas with corrosive abilities.
Then, a day or so later, still healing but not in danger, the kid wakes up, stares wide-eyed at the people around him, and exclaims something I a strange language.
Yeah, definitely alien.
Danny wakes up, sees a bunch of weird, costumed people all around him, and tries to ask what the heck is going on. They all stare in confusion. One guys, whoā€™s glowing green but a different shade, had a ring that starts speaking in a different language.
So, I figure, in an alternate dimension, the English language developed differently, so Dannyā€™s English and the DCUā€™s English arenā€™t the same. Hence more Misunderstandings.
Also, if Connor is in this, itā€™s not until after Dannyā€™s been found. šŸ˜Ž
So Danny gets introduced via the Green Guys magic translating ring, finds out they think heā€™s an alien, thinks heā€™s still in his world, where the Anti-Ecto Acts are a thing, and goes with it. They introduce him to the younger heroā€™s his age, and once heā€™s better they set him up in their base to live, since obviously he canā€™t stay on the watchtower or blend in. A few weeks in is enough for Danny to get confused by all the differences and look into it, and realize heā€™s in a new dimension. But heā€™s already knee-deep in this, so he just doesnā€™t ever mention it, and just refers to his ā€˜home planetā€™ as Amity.
Meanwhile, the alien kid, Danny, seems to be adjusting well, if a bit confused by the strangest things at times. The planet he mentioned as home was listed by the Lantern Corps as one destroyed by a black hole a few days before Dannyā€™s pod showed up, so they avoid asking about the clearly painful and traumatizing experience. Superman, upon learning about the boys skill set, takes him under his wing.
TLDR-
Through a series of misunderstandings and coincidences Danny is premised to be an alien child by the Justice League and taken in as Supermanā€™s apprentice/son. He does not correct this assumption, either ever or until he is outed by something/one else.
homie I am in love with this idea. Presumed Alien Danny makes me so happy.
I will like to add: The not-quite-english that Danny is speaking is akin to old English.
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shellem15 Ā· 5 months ago
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This has been commented on many times in this fandom, but I'm using it as a springboard for my own brainrot Raphael really is just like his daddy. There's the obvious stuffā€”the narcissism, the dramatics, the convoluted plots and just the general messy bitcheryā€”but there's also the stuff under the surface. Both have massive inferiority complexes, both are extremely envious and power-hungry (Mephistopheles in particular for the envy part, but we'll touch on that later), and both act extremely obsessive towards certain tools, goals, andā€”most relevant to this postā€”people.
Now Raphael is definitely weird towards Tav/Durge, but it's a bit more ambiguous as to whether he's obsessed with them in particular or just sees them as a means to an end. The situation with Hope, on the other hand, is quite explicit. Raphael is obsessed with her, even naming his home after her, but there's not really anything material he gets out of her. Him imprisoning and torturing her is not a means to an end, he just does it because he's a sadist. He wants her attention, he is entertained by her defiance, he wants to break herā€”he both loves and loathes her.
And what do you know! Raphael's thing towards Hope is kinda similar to how Mephistopheles acts with his object of obsessionā€”Asmodeus. Now, if you need to know anything about Mephisto's character, it's that he's envious. Envious towards his peers, envious towards his betters, even envious towards his inferiorsā€”he resents that others' have what he does not. Even Martinet, Asmodeus' unflappable constable, thinks so: "Were Mephistopheles to become the King of Hell, it would take him less than an hour to start wondering why he wasnā€™t also ruler of Mount Celestia." (Guide to Hell, p. 45)
The #1 target of Mephisto's envy is Asmodeus. The man is capital-o Obsessed with him, ya'll.Ā  Asmo is on his mind 24/7, haunting his every thought. He lives rent-free in Mephisto's head.
Mephisto is the silver medal to Asmo's golden 1st place. Eternally living in his shadow, the Starscream to Asmo's Megatron. He is always one step behind himā€”like, Mephistopheles has been trying to become a god for a while now, and just when he was about to succeed, the spellplague happened and Asmodeus ate the god Azuth like an energy bar, snatching up godhood by sheer luck. And then, of course, Mephisto's godhood plan fell through so now the power divide between them is even greater than it was before.
Bro tries so hard and it just doesn't work. Like, when Mephisto was going through his rebrand phase as the Lord of Hellfire, he changed his appearance to that of the "quintessential devil". But all that ended up doing is making mortals confused about who exactly he isā€”a lot of mortals straight up think he is Asmodeus. Like, to the point that Asmo just went "you're the manager of my cults now lol", so now the distinction between the two is even more blurry. Also, Mephisto's wife is straight up closer to Asmo than she is to him (see my Baalphegor post), which is just another spit in the face. Bro cannot win. (This ties into another similarity between him and his son; Raphael clearly got the loser gene from him.)
Now, obviously the situation between Raphael and Hope is very different than Mephisto's relationship towards Asmoā€”Hope is Raphael's captive, while Asmo is Mephisto's boss; Hope's life has been upended and tormented by Raphael, while Mephisto is at most an annoyance towards Asmo (bro has repeatedly told Asmo to his face that he would usurp him and Asmo is just like "whatever, dude")ā€”but the level of obsession is similar. Raphael hates hope but is also desperate for her affection, Mephistopheles loathes and envies Asmodeus but is also his greatest ally. Both are desperate to fuā€”*ahem* both are psycho-sexually obsessed with them.
So, yeah. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
TLDR: Raphael inherited his psycho-sexually obsessive tendencies from his daddy lol. Also you should really read the lore about Asmodeus and Mephistopheles' relationship because it's actually insane y'all. Like this shit was made for the gays people.
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