#tldr covid has fucked my entire life and i have been crying for the past two days

[toddhowardxreader]

so there is a very real possibility i could have contracted covid (despite not being in public since before christmas and having taken every possible precaution for an entire year).

my sisters friend came over for a couple days last week (thursday to monday) and he tested negative for covid the day he left to drive up here.

but on wednesday he got in touch with my sister and told her he got another test and it tested positive.

so if he got it when he was here. then there is a chance she could have it and then a chance i could too.

we dont know if he got it when he was here or when he went back to campus and we have literally no way of testing ourselves to find out if we are safe.

like legitimately no course of action we could take. neither of us have a car. our insurance is extremely limited. i cant afford a mail order test. i dont even know how the tests work but it doesnt matter because we have no one to take us anywhere. im stunlocked into having no idea at all how to deal with the situation.

on top of being unbelievably devastatingly upset and frustrated by all of this and the idea that despite dedicating months of my life to never seeing another human i still could have caught it regardless.

and i feel even worse because i had so many plans for this week that are all ruined. i was going to see my family this weekend and then visit my best friend and then some of my internet friends were coming down from their state to visit and i was so looking forward to all of this but im not risking any of it if its not 100% safe to be around me.

and complaining feels so shitty because people have lost so much more to this virus than just a week of social events but i really cannot stress how i dont go anywhere, i dont see anyone, i dont do anything, 6/7 days a week the only other living creature i interact with is my ferret. its been awful and painful to be so alone but apparently none of it was even worth it in the end.

anyways i be feeling more miserable than i have in a long time so ✌ maskign the pain thru cringe hyperfixations and fail shitposts ig ig