#tlb.fangposting hcs

[lostboys-fangposting]

the difference between demetri and felix is this:

demetri is creepy

felix is spooky

[lostboys-fangposting]

the edited demetri timeline

note that smeyer lists both demetri's year of birth and turning as c. 1000 CE. she does not specify when amun discovered him nor if he turned him right away or waited and turned him later. additionally, there is no mention of dates when the volturi discovered that demetri existed and then came to him. i have also elected to include my own opinions as to why demetri joined the volturi.

sometime between c. 957-959, greece: demetri's parents marry

sometime between c. 958-960, greece: demetri's elder brother is born, making him 7 years older than demetri

sometime between c. 960-962, greece: demetri's elder sister is born, making her 5 years older than demetri

sometime between c. 965-967 (spring), greece: demetri is born

sometime between c. 968-970, greece: demetri's younger brother is born, making him 3 years younger than demetri

sometime between c. 971-973, greece: demetri's younger sister is born, making her 6 years younger than demetri

c. 993-995 (late winter/early spring), greece: amun discovers demetri exists

c. 993-995 (sometime between mid-spring to early summer), greece: amun discovers demetri, now aged 28, is gifted, helps him hone his gift while he's human

c. 993-995 (late summer/early fall): amun gains demetri's trust, turns him without his consent and smuggles him to egypt while he's unconscious

c. 1020 or 1025 (spring): the volturi discover demetri's existence

c. 1020 or 1025 (summer), egypt: fed up with being hidden and caged and doing nothing with his gift, demetri voluntarily joins the volturi when they come for him. chelsea never uses her gift on him.

[lostboys-fangposting]

i can just picture human!demetri "hunting" his little sister through the woods. it became a habit that she'd tag along whenever he'd go hunting (it's how she secretly learned how to shoot a bow, which came in really handy after her favorite brother mysteriously disappeared). it's a game to them. she gets her head start and he chases.

he always finds her.

[lostboys-fangposting]

i like to think that demetri once compared himself and felix to bonded cats

[lostboys-fangposting]

demetri's cats:

first of all you should know he has a tortie, two orange idiots, a grey bastard, and a tabby. also he knows each of their personalities so well that he can track them using his gift

the tortie:

anne

she's one spicy kitty! known for her sass and being highly opioniated, once you're on her bad side you best know she has a vendetta against you (the only exception to date is demetri, who she'd lie and say he's just her can opener if she could talk).

she's also been known to carry out revenge against demetri just for being given the wrong food (she constantly changes her mind about what her favorite flavor is) and when he tried to reverse-psychology her into learning tricks, she spent a whole week holding a grunge against him... until he came back from the market with fresh shrimp for her.

she is by far his favorite, though he'd deny it if you asked. she knows it too! she's even got the bejeweled collar to prove it. plus, she's not even expected to hunt, just sit pretty! (though when she does, she's not afraid to get her murder mittens bloody. demetri just praises her and cleans her right up)

the two orange idiots:

elagabalus

caligula

demetri found these two brothers as kittens on a return from a mission. he quickly scooped the pair up from the gutter, soaking from the rain and proceeded to bottle feed them every two hours right on the dot until they could hold down solids.

like most orange cats, these two share one communal brain cell with the rest of the world's population of gingy boiis. they've been known to get stuck in the strangest and highest of places, requiring felix's rescue. however, don't be fooled! these two are menaces prone to mischief (about the only thing felix finds entertaining about them).

unlike anne, these two will eat anything, including plastic, electrical wires, spiders, and the secretary's lunch if left unattended. they're not the brightest, constantly requiring supervision. if these cats were vampires, they'd be the romanians: never capable of getting anything done.

however, there's a few notable distinctions between the two: caligula, in the off chance he has the communal brain cell, is known for his occasional evil genius. a great hider, he'll climb up high where he isn't visible and swipe at the heads of passing vampires, even capable of striking an invisible afton. elagabalus, on the other hand, doesn't even need the communal brain cell to be a true garlfield - he creates a distraction just to make the secretary abandon her desk just so he can gorge himself on their lunch. hey, if it worked once, surely it'll work again, right? (each secretary catches on quickly, but they're replaced so often that this poor boy doesn't know the difference).

the grey bastard:

shadow

meet demetri's russian blue!

she's the castle's best hunter, single-handedly taking care of the majority of the rodents occupying the castle grounds. demetri found her in a forest as a roughly eight-month-old kitten in the forests of forks right after dealing with the cullens and their newborn fiasco. demetri, ever fond of strays, picked her right up out of the cold and brought her home.

this kitty is aloof and quiet, preferring peace and minimal company. her favorite person is demetri, but felix is a close second and she is known to prefer felix's company (and his room) when demetri has company or gets too extroverted for her tastes. if it weren't for the bell on her collar, no one would know where she is.

while being most loyal to demetri (she follows him around the castle), she is still known for being petty. she's bitten many secretaries ankles just for standing in her way and has even attempted to bite demetri for feeding her one minute past normal dinner time.

while her face is sweet, don't let her fool you. she's snuck into the basement to snack on the bodies of dead meals (demetri insists it was only once and due to her feelings of food insecurity, having previously lived in the wild).

the tabby:

bandit

oh you thought the orange idiots were mischievous? meet demetri's tabby. no one knows what's wrong with her, but she's definitely got a few screws loose. her strangest habit is staring at you until you get paranoid or angry, then running off once you finally address her.

like all tabbies, she is hyperactive and prone to causing trouble if not given enough stimulation (and no dad demetri, chasing and killing mice is NOT enough). she's also known for staring at things no one else can see, zoomies at all hours, and chasing her own tail like a dog. her favorite toy happens to be hair ties, and a close second is plastic grocery bags.

did you know tabbies are highly intelligent? this is the only cat demetri successfully taught to play fetch. she also knows sit and stay, and is also very good at brain puzzles. despite this, her one failure is her inability to hide/be sleuthy: she will "hide" behind curtains, glass doors, and in tubberware storage boxes thinking you can't see her.

[lostboys-fangposting]

anyway the closest fonts i could find that resemble what i picture felix's handwriting to look like notice how i never mention anything abt a signature bc felix doesn't sign his name he just writes it normally lmao are hilston (the closest) and the coastal and black phantom (close seconds). (i should probs elaborate on all of these later). tbh i just couldn't find anything "spidery" or large enough but oh well

(read chapter 5 of tuebor here!)

[lostboys-fangposting]

Do you think that boys like to cuddle and snuggle?

yes!

with david it's more reluctant and he's not going to initiate it. he's not good with affection and if he cuddles with you then you're very special and dear to him. he likes it, but he's going to play it off as if it's nothing or maybe a bit of an inconvenience.

marko is down for cuddles. he likes cuddling up next to a fire on a cold and rainy night. it's nice and quiet and no one needs to talk, he's fine with the quiet. he prefers to be the one being held.

paul is the energizer bunny on crack. in the rare chance he's calm, he's totally down. not even a crowbar can pry him loose. he's attached, so good luck, motherfucker.

dwayne loves affection but is similar to david in the way he doesn't give it away freely. trust is key. he's much more quicker to relax in it, so long as he's with someone he trusts. he both likes wrapping himself around you and you wrapping yourself around him.

[lostboys-fangposting]

Dumb things the boys like to do?

paul: do i need to say anything?? mans got adhd, it's like... sounds like a bad idea, gotta do it

david: u know the scene where michael almost crashes his bike and goes flying off the cliff?? that

marko: this mischievous imp will do A N Y T H I N G that involves scaring someone, no matter how dangerous it's is

dwayne: dwayne?? do something stupid?? i think tf NOT, someone other than star has got to take care of laddie (love u star, but dwayne says laddie needs TWO parents, great co-parenting work tho xx)

[lostboys-fangposting]

wasn't sure if you sent this to my pm's on accident but i thought everyone would enjoy this so -

david is either taking you for a ride or ordering the boys to leave the cave for some ~*alone time*~ .... which, yknow, could be sex if you're dtf or just lounging, normally with you on his lap while he sits on his throne. if it's the latter it's probably mostly quiet. he won't admit it but he likes the body contact.

marko likes to go on simple dates to local restaurants whether it be chinese or pizza or whatever. you would spend some time well after finishing your meal to talk about whatever comes to mind. it's never smalltalk, he'll bring up random things such as your favorite cryptid.

paul likes to go on adventures! whether it be a 2am trip to mcdonald's or going for a ride or flying. he'll take you to the boardwalk and take you on the rides and win things from carnies as a gift to you. to him, anything can be an adventure... and if you're dtf at the end of the night, he probably won't turn you down ;)

dwayne is all about quiet, drama free nights (i'm looking at u, paul). you'll most likely go stargazing, he'll point out constellations and tell you about the mythology behind their names. he likes to have you close, leaning against him with your head tucked in under his chin. dwayne can make the simplest things feel intimate.

[lostboys-fangposting]

Considering David's smoking habit and the obviously hairsprayed Paul's hair there's no way Paul didn't steal David's lighter to make a hairspray flamethrower and probably accidentally burned someone and/or something with it

OH. MY. GOD.

it was probs dwayne

[lostboys-fangposting]

headcanon: marko lets laddie pick out patches for his jacket and then he sews them on wherever the kid wanted them to be

[lostboys-fangposting]

Wait, they’re doing a Lost Boys tv show?? Idk how to feel about this...I may need to do some research but yeah. I’m not gonna get my hopes up though cuz I like how it was left off in the og movie. Anyways, got and headcanons on how the Lost Boys became part of David’s “gang”? I think gang is the right term, been a while since I’ve seen it lol

it's disappointing lmao it's basically the movie but throughout decades.... implying that the ending is completely changed. like... they're beating a dead horse. the og lost boys are old (or dead srry). one of the corey's passed, the other is old and just..... something else. lots of trauma in that dude but i've experienced something similar but less extreme so it's understandable. i'm not sure what jami is doing except for producing, and i have no idea what jason is doing.

as for those headcanons...

dwayne: pre colonial times something something childhood trauma something something something genocide of the indigenous north american people something something something david creeping asks daddy max for a baby brother something something dwayne's dead but also NOT dead something something santa carla murder capital of the world

paul: something something 70s something something hippies something something woodstock something something something oh look david's creeping again something something woooo never gonna OD gonna live forever and fuck shit up something something oh fuck human children

marko: something something childhood trauma something something runaway something something "square up bitch" gets into a fight and david sees and asks father dearest for a little brother something something [its always sunny meme] got addicted to blood something something something look at my baby face. be fooled. now i'm gonna eat your face something something something now i'm gonna live in a cave with my bird children

[lostboys-fangposting]

What do you think is each boys favorite Valentine's candy? I feel like Marko would like the chalky candy hearts

hmmm.......

dwayne - (dark) chocolate covered strawberries (u gotta have the bitter AND sweet ya feel ?)

paul - red hots (u kno, the heart shape ones. the hot ones. that u sometimes use for sprinkles)

david - nothing. his only emotion is rage. the only thing he loves is power

marko - hmmmmm i think he has better tastes (tho i do love conversation hearts)....,..,, maybe the valentines themed fun dip?

[lostboys-fangposting]

headcanon: paul likes to randomly kiss people on the forehead

even strangers. he likes that it freaks them out

and sometimes he does it to david bc he knows it'll annoy him

[lostboys-fangposting]

headcanon: dwayne is super good and kind when it comes to kids bc he had a shitty childhood and he doesn't want any kid to face that same trauma

[lostboys-fangposting]

What kind of music do you think Dwayne likes?

oooohhh.. i may be projecting but....

afi

anti-flag

nirvana

sonic youth

bikini kill

wolf alice