#tl;dr: fear/anxiety is holding me back for the 500000000000th time and I hate it fellas fr :/ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kallowrites · 2 months ago

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what if I just, out of nowhere, posted the most unhinged thing I've ever written, on AO3

part of me wants to, but part of me is convinced the entire world will think I'm weird and shun me for an eternity LMAO (even tho I know for a fact there are WAY more messed up fics out there that people as a whole seem to like)

also hello, long time no speak lmao

#writing #input appreciated #i've contemplated some of my options for this... making an entirely separate account for the REALLY 'wild' stuff seems so...#inefficient (cuz then I have to wait for an invite etc etc) but it's definitely an option...#and orphaning it immediately also is weird because that means it exists FOREVER and I have no control over that lmao #means eternal cringe instead of just deciding “hey I hate this” and quietly deleting it like I have previous things #and also if people actually DO validate me and like it (despite the weirdness)... I wanna be able to say “oh whew okay I feel valid”#and I can't... do that on an orphaned work really lol #i am constantly at conflict with myself because I want to just write and not care and also ACTUALLY share stuff #but I'm soooo paranoid about how I'm perceived or will be perceived it holds me back 24/7 #I want to write OC stuff but am convinced no one will read/care for it #I want to write weirder ideas but am afraid people will think I'm *too* weird and avoid me forever #tl;dr: fear/anxiety is holding me back for the 500000000000th time and I hate it fellas fr :/#will always envy fanfic authors who post unhinged/insane fanfics and don't seem to be bothered whatsoever by it

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