#tl;dr again sam is a thinker but he's not actually a wallower

[stanfordsweater]

hallo ava, happy wincest wednesday. in honor of the return of your name, how much do you think late-seasons sam actually thinks about his college years? and does he ever share that with dean?

a week late but here we go!

we know sam considered finishing his degree as late as season eight, so it’s easy to fill in the blanks and assume he did some online credits, but i think that the chaos of the trials, gadreel, and then the mark and amara put it on the backburner. by the end of season eleven, sam and dean have really settled into their relationship in a way we haven’t seen before in the series. i don’t think that s11 sam thinks about it the way s8 sam did-- he’s boxed up his college aspirations with amelia and a “real life” and tucked it away in his head, as he does with so many things. (not to mention that i’m pretty sure sam winchester is legally dead or a wanted criminal after the leviathan drama. does that void your college credits? lmk)

stanford represented something for sam at 18 that isn’t there anymore for sam at 35. it’s a lifetime away from the multiple apocalypses he’s weathered. i think he turns it over in his head the same way he does jess-- he grieves her, he regrets the path that led him where he is, but he knows that if he had a chance to do it again, he would still pick dean. and that’s the crux of it; having dean means not going back, and i have a hard time imagining sam sitting in a lecture hall and not feeling a huge sense of alienation from the people around him.

that being said, once they’re older and settled in the life they have together, i do think sam could bring up his college regrets with dean without dean reacting like he does in season 8! whether that’s after amara, in the grace period between 15.19 and 15.20, in between all of the torture in season 12... there’s a different context to your brother sharing a story of the first time he smoked weed with his roommate when you’re both living together in a creepy bunker vs. him talking about it as his Real Life a few months after you took him away from it. as much as some people hate to admit it, dean is more reasonable than people tend to portray him. in the late seasons, he wants sam to be happy, he just wants sam to be happy with him in his life. if sam wanted to talk about college, i can see dean feeling insecure about it, but he’d get over it and listen because he’s not a psychopath. he might also start stress-eating, but who can blame him?

tl;dr i think in the late-seasons settled era, dean would appreciate sam sharing those stories with him. i think sam would find a kind of relief in it, too-- so much of those years were tainted with the knowledge of how much of his life was manipulated by demons, that brady set him up with jess just to kill her when sam “needed the push,” and being able to talk about the normal coming of age shit with dean would do a lot to lay those regrets to rest.

[zmediaoutlet]

#tl;dr again sam is a thinker but he's not actually a wallower

hallo ava, happy wincest wednesday. in honor of the return of your name, how much do you think late-seasons sam actually thinks about his college years? and does he ever share that with dean?

a week late but here we go!

we know sam considered finishing his degree as late as season eight, so it’s easy to fill in the blanks and assume he did some online credits, but i think that the chaos of the trials, gadreel, and then the mark and amara put it on the backburner. by the end of season eleven, sam and dean have really settled into their relationship in a way we haven’t seen before in the series. i don’t think that s11 sam thinks about it the way s8 sam did-- he’s boxed up his college aspirations with amelia and a “real life” and tucked it away in his head, as he does with so many things. (not to mention that i’m pretty sure sam winchester is legally dead or a wanted criminal after the leviathan drama. does that void your college credits? lmk)

stanford represented something for sam at 18 that isn’t there anymore for sam at 35. it’s a lifetime away from the multiple apocalypses he’s weathered. i think he turns it over in his head the same way he does jess-- he grieves her, he regrets the path that led him where he is, but he knows that if he had a chance to do it again, he would still pick dean. and that’s the crux of it; having dean means not going back, and i have a hard time imagining sam sitting in a lecture hall and not feeling a huge sense of alienation from the people around him.

that being said, once they’re older and settled in the life they have together, i do think sam could bring up his college regrets with dean without dean reacting like he does in season 8! whether that’s after amara, in the grace period between 15.19 and 15.20, in between all of the torture in season 12... there’s a different context to your brother sharing a story of the first time he smoked weed with his roommate when you’re both living together in a creepy bunker vs. him talking about it as his Real Life a few months after you took him away from it. as much as some people hate to admit it, dean is more reasonable than people tend to portray him. in the late seasons, he wants sam to be happy, he just wants sam to be happy with him in his life. if sam wanted to talk about college, i can see dean feeling insecure about it, but he’d get over it and listen because he’s not a psychopath. he might also start stress-eating, but who can blame him?

tl;dr i think in the late-seasons settled era, dean would appreciate sam sharing those stories with him. i think sam would find a kind of relief in it, too-- so much of those years were tainted with the knowledge of how much of his life was manipulated by demons, that brady set him up with jess just to kill her when sam “needed the push,” and being able to talk about the normal coming of age shit with dean would do a lot to lay those regrets to rest.