#tj: how many panic attacks have i had trying to write/post this? the answer is just... yes... too many--

[reallyrandomtj]

Firstly, I just wanted to apologize to those who have tried to hold a conversation with me - here or on Discord - I have been a mess IRL with an incredibly low social battery over the last few days and I've hated it.

Under the read more are details I have put off sharing for the longest time that are likely going to be the main reasons for actively spikes/decreases for the next couple of weeks/likely months due to recovery times.

If you wish to avoid topics like this upon your dash ( for whatever reasons its fine. I want you to be safe/comfortable when viewing my blog ) please black list the following tags without quotations 'blog: mun health' and 'blog: mun recovery' as extra precautions should that fail I will try remember to place them under read more like I have for the below!

A week from today, will be 23rd August for me, I would have been silently ( told very few people ) fighting Grade One Endometrial Cancer - Cancer of the Uterus - for 12 months! I have been fighting it with IUDs ever since before my official diagnosis but I have had enough of that approach.

I have a pre op appointment this coming Monday ( 19th August ) in preparation for a full hysterectomy a fortnight later ( 2nd September ) that I'm terrified for but feel it to be completely necessary for my own safety and state of mind.

... You may be thinking? I wouldn't blame you if you did think this way ... 'Oh TJ you caught it early! Why go to such an extreme?' Yeah. You're not wrong! But that did little to ease my thoughts/concerns since until 26th July I had no idea if my IUD was successfully fighting off the cancer or how aggressive my cancer was... on top of finding out the cancer history of my extended family which opened my eyes to further potential cancer scares if I am not careful. Why is my family so prone to cancer so young like WTF?!

Anyway. I hope that now I've got this off my chest I can finally be productive here with drafts since I have tried to make this post for a few weeks now! I apologize if this has alarmed or spooked anyone but don't worry... I won't have this cancer for much longer!

[multimetaverse]

Andi Mack 3x20 Review

We Were Here was a historic episode that finally let Cyrus and TJ canon and was the best ending the series could hope for. Let’s dig in!

It’s been a long road but Cyrus Goodman and Thelonious Jagger Kippen are now boyfriends and we witnessed two gay boys holding hands on Disney Channel. It took two thirds of the series but we’ve gone from the muffin scene to the bench scene. 

There’s a lot of obvious censorship and flaws to write about but I’ll do that later and for tonight I’d look to focus on all the good in this episode and this series.

Tyrus are the first canon gay couple on Disney Channel but they won’t be the last and one day, hopefully soon, it won’t be seen as a historic or unusual event to have LGBTQ rep on children’s tv. 

Josh and Luke did such a great job with this whole story line and they killed it in the bench scene, so much depended on their body language and facial expressions and it was a beautiful scene. When they both exhaled after holding hands, that was powerful. 

I liked that we saw Cyrus go out to initiate the conversation but it was TJ who reached out with his hand and took that risk to bring them together. A callback of sorts to his first conversation with Cyrus where he told him to ‘’walk to the muffin like you already own it’’. 

TJ has always been an active character and we saw that in full force tonight as he stood up for Cyrus and ended his friendship with Kira and then went up on stage and started playing Born This Way and of course he was the one to take Cyrus’ hand. 

The one good thing I’ll say about the Kira plot is that she was disposed of early and only got a minute of screen time and she thankfully didn’t get redeemed. Her line about TJ choosing Cyrus over her probably registers as her demanding TJ only be friends with her to kids but to those in the know it’s a clear ultimatum to either be straight with her or gay with Cyrus. Loved TJ’s line that she melted after he threw water on her. 

 Really good character development for TJ as the former bully stands up to a bully. TJ has had such an amazing arc from the mean basketball captain introduced in 2x03; there really was a nice person inside of him trying to get out and Cyrus helped him with that. And even in the finale we still learn new things about him: his name, that his mom is a piano teacher, that he plays the piano, and for the casual audience that he’s gay and likes Cyrus. 

I’d guess we’re meant to see TJ starting Born that Way as a statement of sorts on his part, especially since Cyrus is the one to start singing and he later moves to join TJ on stage and it’s their performance that leads to the bench scene. 

I’m happy that the bench itself was 3 minutes and that Tyrus got ample screen time in the finale as did Muffy. I’m glad that Luke got to choose TJ’s name and it’s very on brand that he snuck a Shrek reference into it. And kudos to Terri for getting the bench scene approved and for getting the last 40 seconds of the scene where Tyrus canons to actually air. 

It was definitely random and I did not expect them to land the rights to a Lady Gaga song but it was a fun scene and it was nice to see most of the cast involved; this must have been what Lilan meant when she said at Fan Fest that we’d see characters interacting who had never interacted before. 

Muffy was great. I’m really glad they brought Garren back, whatever other ending they would have had to write for Buffy just wouldn’t have had the same impact. Loved that they call backed to their first conversation. Liked that Marty chased after Buffy and that after she told him how she felt that he was the one to grab her hands and kiss her and then put his arm around her before they walked back in to the party. Probably the sweetest kiss we’ve seen on the series and a very fitting end for the Muffy story line. 

Liked the Jandi scene, I’m sure they’ll get back together when they’re older and I’m glad they brought the bracelet back. Jonah saying ‘’Love you Andiman’’ was so sweet and a great last line for the series. 

Bexie dancing was sweet, though I wish they had just done it at the wedding.

Did not expect Celia to be in the dino costume! Glad she got to experience the party for a bit. 

Andi got into SAVA and is going to use Andi Shack as a studio. Really sweet to take a new photo of the GHC. What an interesting convo they’ll have at the spoon the next day when Cyrus tells them what was so life changing about the party. 

Sweet lookback at the important scenes at Andi Shack.

Now we know why they needed semi-pro basketball players for the re-shoots, wonder if the flash forwards were a late addition then. 

Glad they didn’t bring up the timeline like the texts did so we don’t have to pretend the finale took place in June.

Nice to see the Mackchat kids finally be able to talk about Tyrus openly as a romantic relationship. It will go a long way to normalizing same sex relationships among kids. As they said, it’s been them all along from the muffin to the swings to the bench. 

Looking Back:

Andi Mack really was a special show. Yes it fell short at times but when it was at its best there was nothing like it on tv. It leaves a big void and I hope other shows fill it sooner rather than later. Right from the pilot to the finale it tackled so many important issues: teen pregnancy, unconventional families, therapy, financial issues, coming out, panic attacks, learning disabilities, bullying, manipulation, guns, Chinese and Jewish culture, racism, sign language, sexism, and stereotypes. 

Andi Mack made history again and again, right from Andi discovering Bex was her mother to Cyrus coming out to Buffy and Andi and Jonah and saying the words, I’m Gay, to Cyrus getting together with TJ. There are no other characters like Cyrus Goodman or TJ Kippen anywhere on kids tv and I hope we see more characters like them soon, on Disney Channel and elsewhere. 

All the cast and crew and writers deserve so much praise for making such a wonderful show and I don’t know when we’ll ever see such a talented, passionate group again. I hope they all go on to big things and find happiness and success with whatever they choose to do.

And a big thank you to all of my followers. It’s been such an honour to be part of this fandom and to have so many people read my posts and send me asks, I never imagined when I started this blog last March that I’d get so involved but I’m glad I did. I’ve made a lot of great friends and have had so much fun. This show has had one wild journey for a Disney Channel show and I’m glad we were here together to experience it. 

I’ll still be around, answering asks, liking and re-blogging posts, keeping up with any last interviews or information we get related to the show. And one last reminder to tag your posts and re-blogs with Tyrus and Andi Mack so we can get #1 on Fandometrics. Thank you for reading this long ass post and all my other long ass posts and I wish each and every one of you all the best and I hope that the memories we’ve made here and our memories of the show provide comfort as we go on with our lives. 

Love, Dave.

[tjkiahgb]

Anon and I wrap up Season 2 - Part 3: Best and Worst Character Arcs

“Question Three: Which main character had the best arc and vice versa? I’ll go extra and give out a list in order of best to worst - Buffy, Bex, Cece, Jonah, Andi and Cyrus.

Bex had a really cool arc from trying to find a niche between friend and mom. But more importantly, her arc on graduating and finding her career is a good message to kids not to give up on their education. 

Cece has really loosened up this season and it’s nice to see her have fun.

Jonah arguably had powerful moments but I find his arc to be disjointed. It’s like the writers never really knew what to do with him and decided to give him a mental breakdown out of the blue. I initially thought it was a clever twist to make Jyrus happen but it ended up being just more lousy writing.

Andi may be the main character but she hardly had any development for the whole season. Sure, she’s more assertive and outspoken but I feel like those are just magnifications of the same Andi that we saw in season one. It doesn’t help at all that Jandi is the biggest thing going on with her, which made her pretty stagnant. The only storyline where she had any sense of agency was playing the Bexie matchmaker.

Speaking of agency, this is the main criteria of which I base this answer. And thus Buffy Driscoll takes the crown. Where to begin? Her insatiable hunger to be good at the things she sets her mind into? Her refusal to cave in to peer pressure and engage in a romantic dyad she feels she isn’t ready for? Her determination to break barriers to show that girls can be better than boys even in sports? Her ability to exercise self-control and perseverance despite and in spite of the animosity and ostracism she has faced in her team? Her decision to be the bigger person and helping her tormentor for the sake of being a team player?  Her compassion and loyalty to Cyrus? The only time Buffy lost agency in this season is when her mom got a job somewhere else and they had to move - but even then she stubbornly refused to say goodbye and dictated the terms of her departure. Man, this season has been the season of the slayer.

In all fairness, Cyrus did have a lot of agency in this season as well. There was his aforementioned coming out scene, his determination to make his Bash Mitzvah a success, and Tyrus. However, the reason why I rate him as having the worst arc is that most of these big developments occur off-screen. On the basis of what is actually shown on the show, the biggest arcs he had was Ciris. Which was pretty okay but I felt was just abruptly cut off. I know a lot of people here lament the fact that he never used the word gay. But I think his refusal to use that label also shows agency on his part. I think my main problem is that his arc appears to be disjointed - he’s just the kooky sidekick who’s there for comedic relief until his big moments come. And this has made point A to point B to point C Cyrus seemingly different persons. And seeing all the press, I find a certain dissonance between using Joshua as a poster boy for representation and having his character’s story relegated to the backburner for most of the season. The writers have treated Cyrus’ story as this precious china that is there mostly for display only to be brought out during special occasions. As I have said before, for someone who's second on the billing, Cyrus' story gets short changed over and over and over again.”

It’s hard to argue with too many of these, Anon. I’ll pass on ranking them myself, but I’ll jump in and add a little bit more.

I love how multifaceted Bex’s issues are. She’s learning how to be a mom. She’s learning how to be a better daughter and interact better with her mother. She’s dealing with her relationship with Bowie and trying to find a split between being mature (respecting where he’s at in life) and going after the man she wants. And she’s finding her place in the working world. Her growth seems to happen pretty quietly, but it’s impressive to see how far she’s come.

Celia is such a fantastic character. I think it’s great that now that she doesn’t have to shoulder so much of the responsibility of raising Andi, she can finally be more of a grandma. Her relationship with Bex continues to be fascinating -- trying to help her succeed while also trying to figure out when she’s overstepping. Her stuff with Ham this season has been a bit of a disappointment though. They interact less and less as time goes on, so much so that their storylines have become about how they don’t talk enough. Celia buying The Fringe without telling Ham can be chalked up a little to her go-getter attitude, but that’s still way too much. And Ham deciding to leave the country without telling her is about on par. I’m hoping for some cleaner stories in season 3 between those two (though I get the feeling Ham’s going to be doing a lot of “traveling” for much of the time).

I sort of agree with you on Jonah’s arc being disjointed, though for different reasons. Much of 2A was tied in Andi and Jonah feeling out their relationship, but I found it to be not incredibly interesting stuff. As I said in part 1 of this series of posts, I actually liked the introduction of the panic attack. I think it gave Jonah some depth that he was sorely missing as a main character. I never saw it as a way to move him towards Cyrus, though. I accepted it as being sprung from his relationship issues with Andi. The stuff with him in 2B was hit and miss. I liked the idea of him treating his anxiety through music, but doing all of that therapy through the lens of Bowie, who’s really kind of making things up as he goes along, was maybe a mistake. He should seek professional help at some point (perhaps in season 3). I do like the steps he’s taking to mature, as well. Being gracious around Walker at the art fair was a great move. But, right after that, he signed up to go to a two month frisbee camp, which is the worst thing he’s ever done. I mean, it’s not really bad, but, you know, TWO MONTH FRISBEE CAMP?!

I’d argue Andi’s arc has been the worst of the bunch. Season 2 overall for her has been a lot of messy back and forth about how much she does or doesn’t need Jonah in her life. Her relationship with the GHC remains pretty much the same, which is sort of nice, to keep it as this constant bright spot in her life, but doesn’t allow for a whole lot of drama. And the Bexie stuff has been pretty static for her as well. Andi started the season trying to get them together and didn’t really veer off that path. I feel like even in 2A, when it seemed like Bexie maybe wouldn’t happen, or later, when there were obstacles like Bowie getting a serious girlfriend, Andi never stopped believing that Bex and Bowie had to get married. I’ve enjoyed the growth in her relationships with her immediate family members, but on the whole, her arc has been lacking.

You’re right about Buffy having had the most to do this season. She’s shown strength throughout all of season 2 in various ways, but being strong is fairly consistent with her character. I find her most interesting moments come when she lets her guard down a bit: admitting to Jonah she’s chasing victory to prove to herself she’s strong, admitting to her mother she’s not strong enough to leave her friends. I think finding the ability to forgive those who’ve wronged her -- Amber and TJ -- showed a lot of emotional strength. Buffy’s season has been an interesting study in the ways strength manifests itself, and that sometimes the strongest thing you can do is admit to a weakness.

I know we’ve made a lot about Cyrus’s storylines receiving a lack of visibility, but I will say I think his arc is still a decent one. (For the record, I think not saying “gay” and the fact that he does only have a few explicitly gay moments a season comes from the Mouse up above rather than being a choice made by the writers.) Cyrus has matured a lot over the season. He’s grown, he’s had his Bar Mitzvah, he’s begun to learn what he does and doesn’t want in a relationship. Letting go of his vision of Jonah and moving on (while it upset a lot of viewers) is actually quite a big move for him. He’s trying to see people more for who they are rather than what he’s made them out to be. Plus, he’s starting to gain more confidence, which is great. When you look at his three explicit moments of gayness this season, you see that. The coming out conversation with Buffy was fraught with confusion and fear. His coming out with Andi was much lighter. By the time he’s talking to Buffy about his lost crush on Jonah, it’s business as usual. He’s gay. He can talk about his feelings for a boy (at least to Buffy) with little drama. Here’s to hoping it gets a little more spotlight in season 3.

I want to touch on a couple of the recurring characters, too. (Not TJ. Everyone knows where I stand on TJ’s arc.)

Amber. Poor Amber. My heart goes out to any Amber stans in the audience. Her redemption arc was beaten up and tossed around all over the place. I thought maybe they were heading there in 2A but that whole ferris wheel thing happened. I thought they might try again in 2B, but they just ripped off her eyebrow and forgot about her for almost the entire rest of the season until they suddenly brought her back with a few episodes to go and did a pretty sloppy story. The friendship with Cyrus could maybe work, given some time, but the Buffy thing happened way too fast. And really, Amber’s story is mostly with Jonah and Andi anyway, so why go there? At least she’s starting to get put into a better light. Maybe she’ll finally get to settle things with Jonah and Andi in season 3.

And Walker? He was introduced as this charming, artsy boy, and now, several appearances later, what more do we know about him? Sort of nothing. He’s still a charming, artsy boy. We know he’s coming back for season 3. I’m curious what kind of arc he might have in store for him. What other aspects does he have besides being charming and making art?

[realtalk-tj]

I always have this feeling of impending doom so I end up overworking and doing all of the homework due in two weeks in one day and stress my self out. On top of all of this, I always have a panic attack right before a test or even a quiz then start comparing myself to others and feel really stupid. My brain keeps telling me that something will go wrong and I end up screwing myself over every single time. I would send on private but maybe this could help others. I don't know what to do anymore :(

Response From Fleur:

It’s super thoughtful of you to share this with us and others so that people know they’re not the only ones :D. Sorry I’ve waited a bit to answer this, I’ve got so much to say I wanted to make sure I wrote this up when I had the time to do a good job :) I don’t know a lot about your situation, so I’m going to write general stuff about mental health that might not all apply to yours but will hopefully be helpful to others if not to you ;) Also, my thoughts are all over the place so bear with me, this is a long post.

It sounds like you’ve been having a difficult time lately, so first off, *hugs*

Not really sure what’s going on in your life so I’m mainly going to address the panic attack stuff/feeling of impending doom stuffs.

It sounds like you’ve been lost as to what you can do about this stuff that’s been going on. Sounds like it’s some type of anxiety or panic disorder thing? (I’m gathering this since “feeling of impending doom” is a legit word for word textbook symptom of this stuff + you named panic attacks). 

There are always things you can do about this stuff, idk what you’ve been trying so ima mention more ideas than one needs in hopes that I mention something noteworthy.

Good Idea: Try to solve the problem and seek support from people who have the capacity to help you (school social worker, school psychologist, counselor, teachers, mentors, alumni, adult friends, people educated on mental health topics, parents, neighbors, friend’s parents, community leaders, religious leaders, therapist, psychiatrist, pediatrician, me, relatives, siblings, coaches, hotline staff, strangers…etc). Someone. Anyone. If they suck at being helpful, don’t stop telling people, just stop telling them and get support from someone else. Using coping skills is a great idea too :) 

Bad idea: Keeping this to yourself and not telling anyone or refusing to get assistance from anyone who is educated on mental health and can actually do something or only telling 14-17 year old high school children who most likely cannot help you about your problems without getting better quality assistance, or ignoring the problem and thinking you can fix it yourself is what you probably shouldn’t be doing ;) 

Ima put a list of coping skills here that has been based off the 99 coping skills list and edited by lotsa people ik that are struggling with anxiety. Typically, bringing stuff with you to class that you can play with in your hands is the best thing I can think of for in class/pre-test/post-test/everysecondofthetest nerves. 

Theraputty is the best coping skill ever, everyone should have this, because everyone gets stressed in life, heck I could use theraputty even if I was calm and happy 24 hours a day because it’s FUN (get the green stuff, I promise it’s the best consistency for every day use. Also, you might as well get 6 ounces of the stuff): https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001RPY79C/ref=twister_B06WGSH86S?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1 and ik recently people have been talking about how awesome fidget spinners are so that’s some solid proof that playing with stuff in your hands is helpful.

I want to mention the following:

It doesn’t make you any less of a person to struggle with this. It’s at this point in life where many people first have experiences with anxiety, panic disorder, depression…etc. In society, I find that we beat ourselves up a lot if we’re not “neurotypical” or whatever it means. We tell ourselves that we’re weak for having to cope when faced with certain stressors, that we’re weak for feeling sad or anxious or panicky or hopeless. But I don’t think any of that is valid. What I’ve learned from over 1,000 conversations with people in emotional distress as part of my volunteer work and my job is that most of the conceptions society has about mental health are just the opposite. So yeah, it’s fine that you’re having difficulty with nerves before assessments and with coping with the fact that the homework never ends and there will always be something more for you to do (dw no one can cope with this easily even the 500% neurotypical people).

Here are some of the things I’ve realized about mental health that are at odds with conceptions that many people have:

-Being vulnerable makes you strong. 

-When you’re afraid is the ONLY time you can be brave

-You’re at your best when you’re at your worst

-You can logically know something but feel the opposite way no matter how many times you tell yourself not to or remind yourself of the logic. 

-It’s not your fault you’re having difficulty doing something because you’re experiencing symptoms of a certain mental health phenomenon. It’s not your fault if that thing you’re having difficulty doing is not possible at the moment at all and you need to take a break and try again some other day, month, year, never…etc

-There’s only so much control people have over their mental health. 

-Telling people that you are hurting or suffering or are mentally unstable or are hopeless or are suicidal or are self injuring or are abusing substances is not attention seeking. It is one of the bravest things you can do.

-Often there are tons of people around you that would do everything in their power to help you when you’re suffering, but they can’t do a single thing if they have no idea that you’re suffering in the first place. By telling so many people people what is wrong, you are increasing your chances of getting help.

-I separate the person from the mental health condition, something everyone should do. Often times the people with the condition cannot separate the two themselves, but I can, so it’s only fair that I see them for who they are first and not as the symptoms of their condition. 

-If you have a mental health condition, consistently trying to get help from new avenues, especially if what you are doing is not working, is one of the best things you can do for yourself. That persistent drive to fix the problem and getting opinion after opinion and finding out new options is what ultimately will lead you to where you want to be.

Someone is a gem and has posted free anxiety resources in one document that I have put here:

Right before a test, I would watch this GIF: http://tinyurl.com/CTLbreathe1 or http://tinyurl.com/CTLbreathe2

Breathe2 is a better GIF for me than breathe1 is. I’d see which one you like best first. Idk why I really don’t like breathe1 but it’s hard to breathe with because of the direction and how complicated it is lol. So yeah, see what works, I literally have breathe2 open during class every day because it helps so much with nerves.

Also, one of these resources here is crisis text, something I wanted to elaborate on: you can text the number 741741 to reach crisistext, a hotline that operates through text messages, if you are in crisis (crisis is broadly defined). I’m biased when I say that this hotline is awesome if you’re into the whole texting thing, because I volunteer there. You can also message them on Facebook messenger if that’s easier than texting (it is for me). Legit just go to their page and click “send message” and it’ll connect you to a crisis counselor :D  https://www.facebook.com/crisistextline/

TJ is hard af so you’re doing great getting through each day! I promise most other things are NOT this hard. College is certainly easy compared to TJ. And trust me when I say you will get into college. There are colleges that accept 99% of the people who apply and generally TJ kids can get into a college that accepts around 30-40% of applicants (that’s what I consider a good fit school). Don’t underestimate yourselves, when I got into TJ, they had a 14% acceptance rate and I got the lowest possible score on the math section you could get in order to get to round 2! All you TJ kiddos are gonna to be just fine

[butterccupp]

1-100 do all those questions u posted a long time ago

1. Is a kiss considered cheating? i think it depends? context is everything2. Have you ever faked orgasm? ,,, yes3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? invisibility maybe? idk maybe mind reading would be cool4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? probably not? i mean hopefully but idk where i will be or what i will be doing5. Tell us some funny drunk story. i have never been drunk yikes6. Why are you no longer together with your ex? just reasons? things weren’t working out7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? SHARK ATTACK8. What are your current goals? idk??? i have a lot but also i don’t really have any9. Do you like someone? u silly10. Who was the last person to disappoint you? myself what’s good :-)11. Do you like your body? very rarely ??? i am v large in many senses and it makes me really self conscious 12. Can you keep a diet? no13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? probably “uhhhhhhh” bc i’m so indecisive and couldn’t think of one thing14. Do you work? i babysit and watch dogs but i don’t have like, a formal job15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? pizza16. Would you get a tattoo? yes there are a few that i want17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? tbh most of mine goes to food and gas18. Can you drive? yes i got my license as soon as i possibly could19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? u tell me all the time babe !!20. What was the last thing you cried for? idk i cry multiple times a day over stupid shit probably bc i was just overwhelmed or sad21. Do you keep a journal? i own lots of journals and i would love to keep one but i’m too inconsistent22. Is life fun? life is what u make of it my dude23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant? yes? everybody does it like ???? wtf24. What’s your dream car? a range rover would be nice, but i also want a big jeep wrangler25. Are grades in school important? idk i mean i have a 5.0 gpa so yes??? but also in the grand scheme of things no26. Describe your crush. brown eyes, curly hair, the most STUNNING smile i have ever seen, cute dimples, u27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? i don’t really remember? i haven’t been interested in a book or movie for a long time rip28. What was your last lie? uhhh last night i told myself i was going to get up and write a speech this morning 29. Dumbest lie you ever told? idk?? i’m not a great liar so nothing too bad30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing? yes but it happens so frequently that i don’t really care anymore31. Something you did and you are proud of? worked my butt off for four years & i’m graduating 2nd in my class32. What’s your favourite cocktail? nothing33. Something you are good at? school34. Do you like small kids? yes my 2 yr old twin cousins are my favorite thing35. How are you feeling right now? tired and overwhelmed. i think frazzled is appropriate 36. What would you name your daughter/son? florence!!!! i lov that name37. What do you need to be happy? minimal stress. u don’t hurt either :’)38. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? no i’m not a violent person tbh39. What was the last gift you received? a gift from my kindergarten teacher for graduation40. What was the last gift you gave? i bought the new urban decay palette for my mom today for mother’s day41. What was the last concert you went to? julien baker in pittsburgh42. Favourite place to shop at? like for clothes?? i get a lot of them at tj maxx or marshall’s or target or even charlotte russe43. Who inspires you? my mom, my english teacher, u44. How old were you when you first got drunk? ?????45. How old were you when you first got high? also ???????46. How old were you when you first had sex? 1647. When was your first kiss? 13 maybe ?? it was this boy in my neighborhood bc i was starting to get real feelings for girls and i thought if i kissed him it would fix it. clearly that didn’t work48. Something you want to do until the end of this year? date u :)49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? i wish i wouldn’t have wasted so much time & energy on ppl that didn’t matter50. Post a selfie. idk how to do that in this on the app ??? i guess i could actually post one after this51. Who are you most comfortable around? u52. Name one thing that terrifies you. not being in control of my life, bugs living inside of me, moving water, disappointing the people i love, not meaning anything to people, idk i’m really scared of a lot of things53. What kind of books do you read? memoirs & biographies & nonfiction in general54. What would you tell your 12 year old self? tell your mom how you’re feeling, get into therapy now and maybe things will be easier down the road55. What is your favourite flower? i really like sunflowers and peonies 56. Any bad habits you have? so many, i gnaw my fingers until they bleed it’s pretty bad 57. What kind of people are you attracted to? people named hannah :)58. What was the last thing you cried for? didn’t i already answer this idk it was probably because i was stressed59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? no i’m usually really open to trying foods 60. Are you in love? yes wow61. Something you find romantic? when u rub ur thumb on my face, it’s v small but makes me feel v happy and safe62. How long was your longest relationship? how long have we been dating idk63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? high school girls in particular are v caught up in irrelevant things and like to start useless drama64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? literally everything men just annoy me in general65. What are you saving money for? traveling to london this summer!!66. How would you describe your bad side? i’m very particular and controlling and obsessive and perpetually stressed67. Are you actually a good person? Why? i like to think so68. What are you living for? lots of things69. Have you ever done anything illegal? i mean i’ve probably run a red light once or twice, i’m not a very risky person70. Do you like your body? didn’t i already answer this too?71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? never, i think that’s a pretty shitty thing to do72. Ever sent nudes? yes73. Have you ever cheated on someone? no74. Favourite candy? sour patch kids 75. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!@tyegerlily :)76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? no i don’t really play games77. Favourite TV series? the office78. Are you religious? Does God exist? no, yes79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? uhhhh probably the color purple for my junior AP english assignment, i really liked it yes80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? i wish that it was more feasible for me but i just can’t pull it off currently81. How long have you been on Tumblr? only a few months w this blog but like 5 years in total82. Do you like Chineese food? yes83. McDonalds or Subway? subway84. Vodka or whiskey? neither85. Alcohol or drugs? neither86. Ever been out of your province/state/country? i’ve been out of the state, and i’m going out of the country for the first time this summer87. Meaning behind your blog name? it’s something that u call me :’)88. What are you scared of? i already answered this too wtf89. Last time you were insulted? idk honestly90. Most traumatic experience ? my grandma’s death rlly fucked me up, also my experiences w aforementioned first kiss boy91. Perfect date idea? spending time with u!!!!!92. Favourite app on your phone? sandbox it’s a coloring app and it’s v relaxing93. What colour are the walls in your room? ugly brown wood paneling94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? yeah but most of the time it’s just ted talks or vine compilations95. Share your favourite quote. “we all impact the world around us every day. we have to decide what kind of difference we want to make.” or something like that from jane goodall96. What is the meaning of life? i think it’s to make each other’s lives a bit easier97. Do you like horror movies? no they give me panic attacks98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? idk she cried when i came out to her and sometimes she cries if i tell her that my mental health isn’t great99. Do you feel lucky or special in a way? yeah i think i’m a pretty lucky person100. Can you keep a secret? yes