#titans 3x03

[littlehobbit13]

I’M BACK!

[hecateisalesbian]

Damn that foreshadowing is crazy

(Btw she’s called Luzan!)

[assblastergaster]

the finale was absolutely fantastic :') was an excellent and intelligent way to end the series in a way that honored what they could do and gave respect to what they couldn't.

personally, i think they did the absolute best work they could do.

i will mourn for the loss of some obvious content—clawthorne/belos connection, collector development, backstory on titans/archivists, more information on magic—but the team did such an amazing job that it feels satisfying enough without all of that.

[spacy-snail]

IS THE TITAN PLAYED BY FUCKIN ARIN HANSON????

EDIT: IT IS!!!!!

[justauthoring]

the bond - chapter twelve.

*bond: a relationship between people or groups based on shared feelings, interests, or experiences.

word count: 7037

based off of: 3x01, 3x02 & 3x03

a/n: beginning of seasonnnnn threeeeeeeee

tag list: @ernyaeger - @luvelyxp - @urfictional - @decaffeinatedtealover - @ange-lica-3 - @midzuumi - @leiriswhore - @urfictional - @frasheliza - @echothy​ - @usernamehere91​ - @happygirl5798​ - @dwarfnip​ - @hegdus let me know if you’d like to be added!

“They’re fighting again.”

“They’re always fighting,” you remind, rolling your eyes with a quick glance in Historia’s direction. She smiles lightly at that, Mikasa choosing to remain silent, while you can’t help but snort softly to yourself, stepping ahead of the two of them to pull open the door. You let them slip by first, coming in after them, the second you’re in, you cast a quick glance at Jean whose eyes are already on you.

Almost instantly, both of your eyes divert from one another, a light blush dusting across your cheeks as you hear Mikasa call out; “we’re back.”

“Wait,” Armin calls out, eyes wide with concern as he makes his way over to the three of you. “Were you just chopping firewood?”

Mikasa shrugs; “gotta stay in shape.”

“You got grabbed by a Titan!” Armin recalls with urgency, stepping towards Mikasa, shaking his head. “You should be in bed.” 

“That’s why we were there,” you offer, gesturing to yourself and Historia, leaning past Mikasa with a small smile on your face as you try to ease Armin’s worries. “I made sure she didn’t strain herself too much.”

Armin just continues to stare in worry, eyes flickering from your own to Mikasa’s.

“It’s no use anyways,” Eren chimes in, his grip on the broom in his hand slacking as he huffs in exaggeration. “I try to stop her, but she won’t listen.” Unphased as usual, Mikasa simply steps forward, leaving your side as Eren adds; “I saw her doing sit-ups earlier!”

Glancing over to Eren, you raise a brow, that’s bound to–

“How dare you, you peeping Tom!” Jean cries, voice twisting with indignation as he turns back toward Eren.

Yup. Figured.

“Huh?!” Eren calls back, just as frustrated, “how does that constitute “peeping”?!”

“That’s enough, you two,” you call, thoroughly exasperated with their arguing. It’s been non-stop lately, and although you cherished both of them deeply, you were, quite frankly, sick and tired of hearing them argue. Especially this early in the morning. 

And honestly, you didn’t really want to hear them argue over Mikasa like that – or rather, hear Jean argue over Mikasa like that.

Reaching forward, you set your hand on Jean’s shoulder, giving it a light tug as you pull him back; “stop fighting.”

Both go to defend themselves, before;

“It’s almost like we’re back in the Cadet Corps.”

It’s Sasha who says it. Everyone’s attention falls on her in surprise at her words, an admittance you’re sure everyone’s been feeling but too scared to say – it did feel like you were back in the Cadet Corps. Only, you were missing some people.

“Yeah…” Armin agrees faintly, “why do you figure we were chosen for the new Levi Squad, though? Protecting Eren and Historia is such an important mission…”

“Because we’re talented, I assume.”

Honestly, you have to give her credit. Her words don’t falter at all – even as she slips a potato into her bag.

It seems you’re not the only one who notices either. Armin, face darkening with realization, calls out; “Sasha… what did you just put in your bag?”

“That would be bread,” you chime in, raising your finger in her direction.

She sends you a glare; “no! In fact, it’s nothing bread-related!”

“Why, you!” Jean calls out, stepping towards Sasha, Eren trailing closely behind him.

Connie turns to her, setting his hands on his hips; “give it back.”

“Hey, focus!” Eren calls desperately, “we gotta finish cleaning before the captain gets back!”

“Put back the bread!”

They all move to argue, and just as you go to help, a slam behind you causes you to jump, freezing in your spot. You slowly glance over to Historia who's still standing on your left, and it seems she’s noticed the same thing as a figure falls in front of her, blocking her from your view before you slowly flicker your gaze up, wincing when you realize your fears were correct.

It’s Captain Levi.

“What’s this commotion about?”

None of them except for Eren notices him, not at first.

“Guys,” you hiss, trying to get their attention.

But Levi doesn’t say anything. Not at first. He just steps towards the table in the middle of the room, letting his hand drift across the bottom of it, and it’s then that everyone’s attention snaps to him, waiting with bated breath.

You swear you hear it, through the thick silence that swallows you all, the sound of little dust particles hitting the ground as he pulls his hand away, glancing at it briefly before turning to the group. “I’m quite sure I gave you enough time,” he says, voice blunt and emotionless. 

You wince, glancing to your feet.

“Anyways,” he continued, raising a cloth to wipe at his hands. You blink, surprised at the lack of anger — normally laziness (in his mind at least) was punished far more severely. “We’ll discuss your cleaning job another time. Eren.” The captain shifts his body towards said boy. “Hange is itching to get the experiment started.”

“R-Right.”

-

THE FIRST WEEK THERE

-

“You okay?”

Blinking, you glance up, eyes widening at the sight of Jean. he’s leaning against the door to the room you shared with Sasha, Mikasa, and Historia, a tint of concern in his eyes as he stares back at you.

“Jean,” you call, surprised, “what’re you doing here?”

“I finished helping Hange’s team with the cleanup, and I couldn’t find you. Eren said you practically rushed in here the second you got back.”

Cheeks warming, you glance at your feet; “Levi assigned me cleaning, as usual. I thought I’d start with the girls room.”

“And it’s got nothing to do with the failed experiment?”

Meeting Jean’s gaze, you frown. “No.”

But he just raises a brow.

“Fine,” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest as you glare at him. “But I don’t want Eren knowing that. He already feels bad enough as it is, I don’t need to make him feel more guilty–”

“Tch,” Jean scoffs, rolling his eyes as he makes his way over to you. “I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“Jean,” you sigh, “I’m serious. It’s silly anyway.” You brush off with a shake of your head. 

“No,” Jean says quietly, “it’s not stupid. Especially if you’re upset.”

Eyes widening, you try to fight the blush that threatens to flood your cheeks, averting your gaze to your feet as you swallow thickly. Why’d he have to go and say things like that? All the time? Always flustering you and catching you by surprise… he was lucky no one else was around to witness this, or you’d beat him up.

“I just thought I’d be able to go back home soon is all…” you whisper, digging your nails into the skin of your arm to hold back just how upset you really feel. It was selfish. You knew how hard Eren had been trying and this whole thing of him being able to shift into a Titan was still so unknown too – and to him most of all. You didn’t want him thinking he had another reason to feel awful about it, which you knew he would if he somehow found out.

“Oh, yeah,” Jean nods, “you came from Shiganshina, right?”

Biting your lip, you nod. “Yeah,” you whisper, and you swear if you close your eyes you can see the streets you used to run through, can see Ms. Schneider smiling at you from across the way and hear your mothers voice calling for you from the next room over… 

“I just… when it happened, when Reiner and Bartholdt kicked that hole into that wall, I left everything behind.” Your mother included, but you don’t mention that. “I know it’s all destroyed, it would just be nice to see it again.”

There’s a beat of silence, before you feel Jean shuffle. He steps closer to you, and then suddenly he’s right in front of you, inches apart – your head raises and you feel your cheeks warm at the intimate distance. It was always like this between him and you. You never knew how to gauge his actions. He could be so oblivious sometimes, loud and boisterous and always fighting or yelling (specifically with Eren) and then sometimes, rarer–moments like these… it’d just be the two of you and he’d be so… different.

Not in a bad way and not in the way that you meant you didn’t like who Jean was any other time. You’ve long accepted that your feelings for Jean were less than simply platonic, but you were too afraid of saying anything. Sasha often teased you, but she at least had the decency to do so when Jean wasn’t around. And you didn’t miss the looks Historia or Mikasa would send you, small smiles on their lips when they’d notice you blushing after Jean had done something. You knew how you felt about Jean, but you didn’t know how he felt about you.

You liked to think, or maybe hope, that he returned your affections and moments like these made you feel like maybe that hope wasn’t so sillily placed. There’d be times where he was so gentle around you, his voice would lower and his tone would turn serious, his eyes focused on your own… he’d go out of his way to help you with things, rushing to open the door for you when your hands were full, or offer to help you with your chores. Things like that.

Things that made you feel like maybe, just maybe, he liked you too.

But then he’d argue with Eren, and some way or another the topic would hint at or lead to Mikasa and your hopes would get crushed with a blink of an eye.

It was confusing. Too confusing. It makes your heart feel like a scrambled mess of emotions and your brain loses focus. 

Jean sets his hand on your arm, pulling you from your thoughts as your lips part and you glance up at him. 

“I’ll make sure that one day you’ll get to see your home.”

Eyes widening, you feel your heart flutter, a warmth spreading through you.

“Somehow, some way. I promise.”

He’s grinning wide at you, in that typical way of his; cocky but endearing at the same time and you find yourself at a loss for words, brain fumbling for something to say as you feel your stomach erupt with butterflies and your chest tighten in response.

“So, try to cheer up, okay?”

Swallowing thickly, you nod; “o-okay.”

His hand is falling from your arm, and you find yourself missing the contact, his touch warm and comforting. His lips are moving and you’re pretty sure he’s saying something about having to help Armin with dinner that night, but you don’t hear any of it, simply nodding numbly as you watch him leave. The second you’re alone, a breath slips past your lips and you feel yourself hot, pressing your palms to your cheeks as you shake your head.

You were acting like a frazzled little girl. But still, you couldn’t help it.

Seriously.

Why did he have to go and say something like that?

-

Another failed experiment.

It’s hard not to feel discouraged after so many failed attempts, and the mission for retaking Wall Maria to be pushed back further and further with the looming threat of it being shelved all together. Although you hadn’t expressed it to anyone other than Jean, and even then that had been minimal, the idea of being able to return home had filled you both with hesitance and urgence. The idea of being able to reclaim the wall and go back home was a soothing one in the same way it was a harrowing thought; the village was demolished after everything that had happened, there would probably be remains of the people who’d been left there to die, objects left in the wake of their panic to get out. Houses destroyed, buildings unrecognizable, the same streets you’d walked along your entire childhood would be nothing but littered with the remnants of those who’d died.

That was where your mother died. That was where you watched her get stomped on, crushed beneath Titan feet, left to nothing but pieces of a body on the ground.

That was where Ms. Schneider died. All alone. Sacrificing herself so that you could get on that boat.

And yet, it was the place you’d grown up. Your home had been where you’d taken your first steps, where you’d stay with your mother for hours while she read to you as a little girl, those streets had been the same ones you’d walked every morning to Ms. Schneider’s house so you could help her out with the daily errands. You’d spent every moment until you were ten there, and despite everything you missed it. Craved for it. Even if you knew you’d be disappointed by what you’d see if you ever made it back.

Even though you knew it’d never be the way it was.

It was your home.

It was where all your memories of your mom existed. Of Ms. Schneider.

When the mission had first been told to you, you’d had to pinch yourself to stop a reaction that would get you in trouble. You’d been both terrified and excited, but all the same, you’d wanted to. You wanted to go back. You want to take back Wall Maria, and you want to go back to Shiganshina.

But now it feels like you never will.

Not to mention… finding out a man had been tortured and murdered for information on you all? On Eren and Historia? Because they were so desperate to find all of you…

Whatever your feelings on Pastor Nick had been, a man had still been murdered. Tortured. 

Meaning only one thing, just like Levi had said, the Military Police was after you all, for information, because you were harboring Historia and Eren.

And now this? Forced to leave the house you’d been hiding in for weeks, forced to leave in a rush, hastily erasing every trace of any of you existing.

It was hard to stay positive after so many failures.

Staring ahead, you watch from a distance as the Military Police break into the house, forcing their way in and destroying everything in sight for even the briefest glimpse of any of you. It was hard to ignore the fear thick in your throat or the way your hand shook holding the gun Levi had handed you, standing there, shocked.

“That was close…” you hear Connie mumble, “if we hadn’t left right then, what would’ve happened to us?”

“But why?” Armin presses, “what would make Commander Erwin…?”

“New orders came from the government,” Levi explains as Armin turns to him. “There’s been a freeze on all Scout Regiment activity outside the wall. They’re telling us to hand over Eren and Historia.”

Eyes widening, you turn, facing Levi.

“By the way,” the Scout that had handed Levi the note from Commander Erwin, Nifa, says, “right after he gave me the message… the Military Police came for him…”

“So he’s been arrested?” you whisper, glancing around in panic.

“That’s treating him like some sort of criminal!” Hange calls out in disbelief.

Levi just shakes his head. “Someone’s not working from the shadows anymore. They’re moving for all eyes to see.”

“To go that far to protect the wall’s secrets…” Hange mumbles, “what’s more, why do they want us to hand over Eren and Historia? Not to kill, but for them to obtain?”

“Who knows?” Levi shakes his head, scoffing at the reality of it all. “Anyways, it’s clear the enemy is after these two. Loitering around here is dangerous.” He steps forward then, nodding to everyone. “We’re moving her and Eren to Trost District.”

That catches everyone's attention.

“Why?” Moblit argues, “that’s the same place Pastor Nick was killed.”

“It’s worse to head towards the interior. With Trost in a panic, it should be easy to slip in. and if somehow it comes down to it, we can use these in the city,” shifting, he pulls back his jacket, gesturing to his OMNI gear.

“True…”

“Plus,” Levi continues, “not knowing the enemy puts us in a tough spot. We need to find out who's behind this. Hange, lend me some of your squad.”

They agree without hesitation, “of course.” Then, pausing in thought, they nod to themselves. “All right, I’m going after Erwin. Moblit’s with me. The rest of you will follow Levi.”

“Roger!”

Turning, Moblit trails closely behind them as they move to their horses. Just as Hange’s about to climb on their own, Eren calls out; “Hange!” Stepping forward, he holds his hand out, a sheet of paper held out towards them, “here. I remembered a conversation between Ymir and Bertholdt. Didn’t get time to tell you, but it’s here.”

Taking the slip of paper, Hange nods; “all right. I’ll take a look at it later.”

They get on their horse, and then, both Hange and Moblit take off.

-

It felt weird walking in Trost.

Especially with the looming threat of not knowing who the enemy was. Who was watching.

You’d all only been walking through Trost for a few moments, Sasha and Connie muttering quietly to themselves as Levi ordered you all to remain calm and not to cluster as a group to look suspicious. 

It was hard not to. Especially given that Levi had ordered you to keep an eye on ‘Eren’ and ‘Historia’, otherwise known as Jean and Armin disguised as both. It was obvious what Levi’s plan was, and you had to admit, for the lack of knowledge you all had and the disadvantage you all stood at, it was a smart plan. 

You just hated the thought of Jean being used as bait.

It was bound to go wrong eventually. You’re not so much surprised at the fact it’s happened but rather at how quickly it had when Levi suddenly spins, hand stretched out before him as he cries out; “everyone, look out! Behind you!”

But it’s a second too late. A glance back, and you barely had time to move out of the way before a wagon comes barelling, knocking you off your feet as you stumble, losing your balance. The wagon disappears just as quickly as it had appeared, and gathering your bearings, your eyes widen when you see it racing off, both Jean and Armin having been grabbed along the way.

“Armi–” Stopping herself, Sasha holds her hand out, shaking her head; “I mean, Christa and Eren! They got snatched away again.”

Sitting up, you glance over at Levi for a moment, before pushing yourself to your feet.

There was no time to waste.

-

THE NIGHT BEFORE

-

“If she’s going in, so am I.”

“Honestly, Y/N, it’s not that–”

“No, Jean,” you cut off, meeting his eyes briefly, “it is a big deal.”

“Y/L/N–”

“I’m just as good,” you argue, spinning to face Levi, ignoring for a moment that he’s your superior and if you were in your right mind you would never talk to him like this. “I can fight hand to hand, and if you’re not going to listen to me about using them as bait then I’m going in with Mikasa.”

Sighing, Levi’s shoulders fall, pressing a hand to his forehead. “You’re usually not this disobedient, Y/N.”

Faltering slightly at that, you flush, glancing down at your feet. “Please, Captain, I can help. I’ll be more helpful down there then up with Connie and Sasha.”

“Fine,” Levi relents, “but you follow her lead. And you stay quiet. Don’t get yourself caught or you screw up the entire plan.”

Nodding without hesitation, he glances at you once more before stalking off. You glance over at Mikasa, who simply nods at you, but you see the faint smile on her lips, before walking off herself. Eventually, you realize, it’s just you and Jean.

“What’d you do that for? Captain Levi is not someone to mess with.”

Glancing over at Jean, you huff; “I wanna be there to help you.”

“It’s not like Mikasa wouldn’t be capable.”

You pause at that, turning away from him as you cross your arms over your chest. Of course you knew Mikasa was capable of handling all of those men on her own, realistically, you thought she could take down a whole army by herself sometimes. But still, did he not have faith in you? Maybe he thought you were being a burden just like you’re sure Captain Levi did…

But no. You were capable. Not that it mattered so much anymore, but you’d ranked only second to her – you were strong. And perfectly capable. What good would you be as a lookout? And it wasn’t like you had Sasha’s archery skills…

You could be back up. Miss the ones that slipped by Mikasa or… or something.

“I know that,” you hiss, shaking your head, “I just wanted to help.”

It must be the way you say it. You’re not facing him so you don’t even properly notice, but suddenly Jean’s eyes widen and he’s stepping towards you as you shuffle away from him, hugging yourself, before he sets his hand on your shoulder and tugs so you’re facing him.

“I’m sorry,” he offers gently as you slowly raise your eyes to meet his. “You’re the only one who argued against using me and Armin as bait. I understand why we’re being asked to but still… thank you.”

Swallowing thickly, you’re glad it’s dark out so Jean can’t notice how red your cheeks are.

“You’re welcome,” you mumble, unable to ignore the way your heart races in response.

-

The plan had succeeded without a hitch.

Nothing wrong had happened.

You were able to retrieve Jean and Armin with ease, and the men who had taken them were, quite honestly, idiots.

They hadn’t even been good fighters. You and Mikasa had been able to take them out in seconds, and you were sure that even if you or her hadn’t been there, one of you would’ve been enough – they were fools.

And that plan had finished with ease.

It was almost too easy.

“Gun shots!”

Raising a brow, you glance over at Sasha who’s stood beside you, taking in the look of wild panic in her eyes.

“From there!”

Connie presses his hands to the back of his ears, cupping them in an attempt to hear better but you just shake your head.

“This isn’t good,” you frown, glancing ahead of you in the direction she’d pointed. “Sasha’s hearing is seriously not something to doubt.” You glance up at Mikasa and Jean. “Something’s wrong.”

“You think something happened?” Jean questions, on the roof next to yours, slightly higher.

“Most likely,” Mikasa agrees with you, pulling your eyes on her in surprise. “The Captain had this message for us… from now on, we’ll be fighting humans, too, and not just Titans.”

Inhaling sharply, you shake your head.

“Huh?” Jean calls, “you mean…?”

She races forward in the next second, clicking her omni gear in action, and with a single glance Jean’s way you follow after her. It had felt wrong to you the second you’d been able to save Jean and Armin with barely any effort. No, it had felt wrong the second they even fell for this trap – you figured the Military Police wouldn’t be fooled by such simple disguises, and certainly not let them be saved without putting up more of a fight.

It’d be an embarrassment to them. It wouldn’t look good on their image.

There was something terribly wrong.

The rest catch up with ease, probably only having waited a second after you and Mikasa, and you keep your eyes peeled, trying to spot either Levi or Eren and Historia.

“Hey!” Connie bellows from your left, your eyes falling on him before lowering to follow his gaze. Your eyes widen. “There’s Eren!”

They’ve been captured. The wagon they’d been hidden in had the top pulled off and by the looks of it, the both of them were knocked out with their hands tied behind their backs. You didn’t recognize the woman steering the wagon either.

A second later, a blur breezes by.

“It’s Captain!”

As soon as the words leave your lips, a figure gains on him. Panic floods you when you see the man pull out his gun and aim it right at Levi, with the intent to kill. 

“What the hell!”

If it wasn’t for how skilled Levi was, he probably would’ve been shot – instead, he’s able to narrowly dodge the bullet, swinging his body around and latching the hooks of his OMNI gear right into the man's stomach before zipping forward and slicing him right across the chest with his blades; effectively killing him.

Feeling sick, you swallow back the bile that threatens to come pouring out.

Is that what you were expected to do…

Landing on the side of the building, Levi glances back at the six of you as you get closer; “chase the wagon!” he orders.

“Yes,” Mikasa calls out in response.

“Listen up,” Levi warns, following into step with you, “they’re used to fighting other people! They already got three of ours.” A series of gasps leaves all of your mouths. “If we’re gonna get those two back, you can’t hesitate! If you get the chance to kill, you do it. Got it?”

It’s only a second before Mikasa responds; “roger.”

But you can’t muster the words.

Levi zips forward, pulling the guy standing on the back of the wagon off, before calling over his shoulder; “Armin! Jean! Secure the wagon! We’ll cover you!”

You glance back, watching as Armin calls out for Jean with urgency before the two land on the wagon. Just as the woman steering the wagon raises her gun, Mikasa flies into her, knocking her off her balance, so she falls right in front of Jean, his blade held at her throat. Even from where you are, you can see his hand shaking, and eyes focused on him, you see the woman’s body move before she does, his name leaving your lips in a cry as he’s flipped to his butt, a gun held to his head.

Your heart falls to the pit of your stomach, fear striking you. You don’t notice the body creeping up behind you, hyper-focused on Jean as you desperately try to make your way to him before the woman presses the trigger.

He can’t die.

You can’t… you can’t lose him too.

“Y/N! Behind you!”

It’s Levi who calls for you, pulling you from your thoughts as you gasp in surprise, glancing over your shoulder only to see the barrel of a gun staring back at you. The man holding it is grinning at you wickedly, and it feels like time slows as you see his finger move, pressing slowly against the trigger, twisting your body so that you shift to the right, before a sharp pain radiates through your entire left arm, a cry leaving your lips. The pain and pressure causes your left hand to twitch, losing the grip on your trigger so you don’t hook on the wall across from you properly, freefalling for a brief moment before your body crashes into the ground a second later, the pain spreading across your entire body as you skid across the ground.

Shit.

You fucked up. You’d been too distracted, too worried about Jean, you hadn’t been aware of your surroundings and you’d gotten hurt because of it. Had anyone else–

Forcing your body over, you just managed to catch sight of Levi slicing his blade towards the man who’d shot you, stopping him from coming after you like you realize he’d been about to. Levi’s head turns over his shoulder just as he finishes, obviously trying to assess how hurt you were, but you shake your head, trying to sit up enough to glance in the direction of the wagon.

Jean.

You needed to know if Jean was okay.

“Y/N!”

It’s Connie and Sasha, landing right next to you before the latter falls to her knees in front of you, pulling you into her arms.

“I’m fine,” you brush off, voice breathless, trying to ignore the excruciating pain radiating through your entire body. “I’m fine. Is Jean…” You’re trying to catch your breath, trying to force the words out as panic seizes your entire body. You haven't been able to see–you never had the time to make sure. “Is Jean okay?”

Sasha just glances up at Connie who, pacing on his feet, shuffling forward, tries to get a look. “He’s okay,” he calls, and instantly, your shoulders sag with relief, letting yourself fall into Sasha’s grip a bit. “Armin too. Mikasa and Captain grabbed them but they got the wagon. They got Eren and Historia!”

No.

Letting out a hiss, the panic comes back and you try to stand up; “we have to go after them!”

“Y/N!” Sasha cries, pulling you back. “You’re bleeding, you have to stop!”

Gritting your teeth, you reluctantly let Sasha pull you back down, your vision blurring momentarily as the pain catches up to you. It isn’t just your arm, your ribs hurt too… you must have hurt them when you crashed on the ground because your breath felt short and it hurt to try to breathe in more. 

Everything hurt.

God, you shouldn't have let yourself get distracted.

But Jean… you’d thought Jean was going to die.

“Y/N?” A new voice calls, and you blink through the pain to see Jean racing towards you, Armin trailing behind him looking quite sick. He comes to a stop right in front of you, eyes wide with terror as he takes you in. You can’t see yourself, but you gather from the look on his and everyone else's face, it isn’t good. You know you’re bleeding, but Sasha won’t let you sit up enough to take a look at your arm. 

But shit–it hurts.

“What happened?” Jean cries, “is she okay?”

“She got shot,” Sasha calls out, shaking her head, “I don’t know what to do. She’s bleeding really bad.”

Jean’s lips part to say something, but before he can a voice interrupts him.

“We need to get off the streets, now!”

“Captain!” Sasha cries, “It’s Y/N! She’s hurt!”

“I’m fine–” you try to argue, but Levi is suddenly kneeling in front of you, pulling you away from Sasha as he leans over, taking a look at your arm. “Shit,” he curses, then, slowly, his eyes flicker to you. “Did you get hurt anywhere else?”

Swallowing thickly, you hesitate.

“Y/N!”

“My-My ribs,” you whisper, turning away from him. “I got knocked off balance and I think I may have bruised them when I crashed into the ground. It hurts to breathe…”

Levi glances at you for a second more, before he looks up, surveying the area. “Okay, Jean, help me get her up.” Nodding, Jean rushes forward like he’d been waiting anxiously for the chance, and you feel the two of them slip their arms under you before pulling you up. They hesitate a moment when you let out a cry involuntarily, it cutting short as you bite your lip, ignoring the look Jean sends you as their movements slow, feeling the agonizing pain continue until you’re finally on your feet.

“Mikasa, Sasha, use your gear, get ahead and find a place we can hide in.” Mikasa only hesitates a second, sending one last glare Levi’s way before the two of them head off. “Armin, are you okay?”

Your eyes fall on the boy, taking in how pale he is.

“F-Fine.”

It’s obvious he’s not, but he’s trying.

“Okay,” Levi nods, “Connie, Armin, follow Mikasa and Sasha, keep an eye out. Jean,” you watch as his eyes turn to Jean next to you. “Me and you are gonna help Y/N, okay?”

Feeling embarrassed by how useless you were, you glance at your feet. 

Jean nods without hesitation, worried eyes drifting across you briefly before turning back to Levi.

“Okay.”

-

“I pulled out the bullet, got the bleeding to stop and bandaged it. I don’t think your ribs are broken, just bruised. You should be okay.”

Glancing up at Levi, you swallow thickly, nodding as you keep your eyes trained ahead of you, up at the ceiling of the warehouse Sasha and Mikasa had managed to find. The second Jean and Levi had brought you there, Levi had ordered Sasha to find something for him to clean the wound with and some bandages before setting you up on your bed cot that Jean had moved to lay out for you.

Levi had then proceeded to bark at the rest of them to leave and get dinner ready, and all had followed without hesitation, though Sasha had lingered briefly with worry back at you. Jean was the one who didn’t move, just staring back at you as you tried to avoid his gaze, until Levi had ordered him to leave once more, voice sharp. He’d left then, eyes never leaving yours until you were out of sight. The second you were alone, Levi had gotten started. You’d gritted your teeth but had refused to cry out as Levi pulled the bullet out of your arm. He didn’t have the right tools, so you imagine it was more painful than it would’ve normally had been, but you tried to not let it show. You were embarrassed enough as it was, feeling useless and like an idiot. 

You were skilled and you knew that. 

You knew you were better than that. 

You’d just been so afraid… petrified at the thought of losing Jean that nothing else had mattered.

At least it was you that had been hurt as a result. If someone else had gotten hurt, you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself.

At your silence, Levi sighs, slowly pushing himself to a stand, moving to make his way over to the others. 

“Captain?”

Pausing in his steps, Levi glances down at you. 

You raise your gaze to his, frowning; “I'm sorry.”

You didn’t need to say what. You knew he knew.

His eyes drift across you, slowly, then, his eyes soften, just the slightest, and your lips part. 

“Not your fault, Y/N.”

He turns with that, not saying anything else and not giving you the chance to say anything either. But, his words provide a sense of comfort, allowing your body to ease, even just a bit, as you turn your head. You hadn’t known what to think of the Captain the first time you’d met him. You’d known who he was, of course you did – everyone knew who he was. Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. But when you finally met him, he’d seemed cruel and distant and Mikasa had complained about him enough to you to sway your opinion a bit; calling him a heartless asshole because he’d beaten the shit out of Eren the day in trial when he’d been arrested.

Still, there had been something.

His words were short and not overly friendly or compassionate, but they’d been enough. Truly, if he had coddled you, it would’ve made you feel worse and you think he knew that. 

Minutes pass as you lay there. You can hear the rest of them chatting in the next room over, but you just try to let your eyes rest, ignoring the pain that aches every time you shift just briefly. You needed to take this opportunity to rest, you refused to let yourself be any more useless than you already have been.

A pair of footsteps echo about an hour after Levi had left you, pulling your eyes over and onto Jean. He’s holding a bowl in his hands, and there’s a distant look in his eyes as he slowly makes his way over to you. You frown at the sight of the troubled look on his face. You’d overheard briefly what Armin had been forced to do in those moments where you’d gotten hurt, how Jean hadn’t, like you’d seen, been able to kill and so Armin was forced to – to save Jean. You couldn’t imagine how Armin felt, and from the brief seconds you’ve seen him, he hadn’t looked well.

But you imagined Jean felt terrible himself – in a different way. Riddled with the guilt that he hadn’t been able to do it and Armin had had to kill for his sake. It was a different feeling, one you couldn’t say you even understood; just like you couldn’t begin to understand how Armin had felt. You’d gotten yourself stupidly hurt while they’d all been risking their necks…

The guilt though? That you could understand.

“I figured you’d be hungry,” Jean offers when he feels your eyes on his, slowly blinking out of his own stupor to meet your gaze. Coming to a stop in front of you, Jean lowers himself so he’s sitting directly in front of you, glancing down at you. “How’re you feeling? Captain wouldn’t let me see you right away. Said he had to get the bullet out and then told me I should let you get some rest first. Was only able to sneak off with the excuse of giving you some food.”

A small smile curls on your lips at that; happy with the thought that Jean, despite everything, had been so worried for you.

Eyeing the bowl in his hands, you’re suddenly sick of being stuck on your back, and you shift, ignoring the sharp pain that radiates through you as you press your palms on either side of you to push yourself up. You hear Jean call your name in worry, but you continue to push yourself, lips pursed in effort as you feel his hands tentatively fall on you, hovering for a moment before he helps set you up so you’re sitting facing him, leaning against the wall behind you.

“You should be resting,” Jean frowns.

“I’m tired of laying down,” you argue, shaking your head as you take the bowl from his hands. It’s a small ration, something you’d expected given all of you were on the run and hadn’t had much time to grab anything besides the necessary. You let yourself ponder on how much everything has changed in such a short amount of time, how Eren and Historia had been taken…

So much had gone wrong.

“I messed up today,” you whisper, stirring the soup for a moment, feeling your chest tighten as you utter the words.

Jean breathes in, slowly, with how quiet it is you can hear it clearly, before he exhales. “I did too,” he mumbles, “it’s okay.”

“Everything just went to shit so quickly,” you huff, meeting his eyes as you frown up at him, trying to ignore the way you feel your eyes watering. You refused to let yourself cry, not now, not after everything. You already felt useless, you wouldn’t let yourself get emotional over it. “It’s just…”

And you pause a moment, not sure if you should say the words. But when you meet Jean’s warm brown eyes staring back at your own, not a single sound other than your voice, and the two of you tucked away from prying eyes of the rest of the team, you realize you want to. If there was one thing today had taught you is that you never know what might happen next, you never know when you might die… and as much as it hurts to think, you never knew when Jean might die. You would do anything to stop that from ever happening… but where you were now? What you were fighting for?

It would be silly to think it could never happen.

“Jean,” you whisper, “when I saw that woman point her gun at you, I… I couldn’t breathe. I felt stuck and this terror climbed up my throat and I wasn’t able to move even though I wanted to so badly… It’s why that man snuck up on me, if it wasn’t for Captain calling for me I might’ve been dead right now.”

Lips parting, Jean’s eyes widen; “Y/N, you…”

You set the bowl aside, half-hazardly laying it beside you that some of it splashes out in your rush. You ignore the pain that lashes out at you as you reach forward, with your good arm, and take Jean’s hand in your own, squeezing as you meet his gaze. “It made me realize how dangerous our lives are… with everything happening, Eren and Historia and being on the run, I…” Inhaling sharply, you try to ignore the nerves that crawl in your belly, making your hand shake and squeeze Jean’s own tighter. “It made me realize how-how I feel… about you…”

Jean doesn’t move. Doesn’t say anything.

The anxiety grows, thickens, and you rush to say more.

“When I saw the gun pointed at you, I nearly lost my mind.” You explain, “but I also realized that sometimes… I might not be able to do anything. Not with how our lives are. Someday, you could die… I could die… But I don’t want that to happen without you ever knowing my feelings.” Then, exhaling shakily, you add; “for you. I don’t know when they started, I mean,” you let out a small laugh, “I was so sure I hated you when I first met you… but then, I don’t know… something changed.”

Your voice trails, feeling you’ve rambled too long, feeling your cheeks impossibly hot. But the silence follows, swallows you whole, and when you finally dare to raise your head, to meet Jean’s eyes, he’s just staring back at you.

Swallowing thickly, you shift forward; “Jean?”

He’s shaking his head, pulling his hand from your own and your heart feels as if it’s being ripped apart as he hastily pushes himself to his feet. He still hasn’t said anything, not until he’s fully stood in front of you, glancing down at you with bright red cheeks and a wild look in his face, still shaking his head. 

“Jean–”

“I’m sorry,” he finally breaks out, “I.. I’m sorry.”

And then he’s turning, not saying anything more, not giving you a single ounce of explanation, rushing out of the room before you can even attempt to stop him. You sit there for a moment, the scene replaying in your head, before settling, and the hurt wells all over again – but this time not physical pain. It hurts deep in your heart, like someone had ripped it out of your chest.

You feel your vision well, the tears threatening to burst through and with haste you press your palm against your lips, trying to mask the soft cries that manage to slip past you. The bowl of soup Jean had brought you manages to catch your eyes, and with a cry, you kick at it, ignoring the way it splatters across the floor or the clatter that follows with it. Your body screams at you in response, and a whimper leaves your lips then as you go to clutch your arm, before staring down at your lap.

Then, after a moment, you let yourself fall back down, unable to stop the tears that stream down your cheeks, back turned towards the entrance of the room. And because your back is turned, you don’t notice the pair of eyes on your figure, watching with a deep frown etched on his lips because he’d turned back the second he’d had a moment to breathe, realizing what an utter and complete douche he’d been and most importantly, what a mistake he’d made.

But the second he sees you crying, he freezes and doesn’t say a word.

Like the coward he knows he is.

[raayllum]

Moving forward, what do you think is going to be Claudia's motivating Drive?

Viren, at least, was always able to tell himself that he was working for the sake of the Greater Good, but that's not something Claudia has ever cared all that much about-- her first, last, and only real concern has always been her Family. With that pillar removed (not that I think Viren is about to disappear completely, but he's definitely not going to be directly involved with her in quite the same way), what does she have left to fight for?

I mean, obviously Revenge can be a powerful driving motivator-- the whole series kicked off with revenge-induced assassinations, so we know that's not exactly nothing, and I can definitely see it being something pushing Claudia further down her current path.

But (IMHO) the story has also been moving somewhat further away from Cycles of Revenge, and I just can't see that being a strong enough motivator for Claudia when counterbalanced against everything our Heroes are fighting for. (Especially with Soren still holding out hope for her and being a weak chink in her armor.)

What's the piece I'm missing?

In a lot of ways, perpetuating the Cycle has always, indeed, been about seeking Revenge for the loss of loved ones.

Rayla: When I first came here, I was on a quest for revenge. But the minute I saw that egg, everything changed. Now, this is a journey of redemption. / I became so obsessed with revenge that I risked losing the best thing I ever had: you. Ezran: I'm sorry about what happened to your father, and what happened to mine. But we don't have to avenge them. We don't have to strike back. We can't choose peace. Callum: Then it's a cycle. You hurt me, someone will get revenge against the elves. It won't end.

This is also one of the key things that, at first, set Soren and Claudia apart from the bulk of the main cast. At first, Harrow and Viren weren't seeking revenge (the Magma Titan) but then they both succumbed to it (killing Thunder) and it continued to snowball from there. In spite of losing their families, Callum, Rayla, and Ezran chose to shed the cycles of revenge their parents (Harrow and Runaan) had partaken in to try and break it instead.

Conversely, Soren and particularly Claudia have been largely removed from the Cycle of Revenge... until 3x09 and firmly in 5x09. Soren and Claudia lost a family member, but their mother is alive and chose to leave. While they've experienced forms of loss, they've never had to literally grieve a death. Although Soren has complicated feelings about his dad, he's ultimately more relieved than anything else regarding his dad's death ("Dad is dead, Claudia. You don't have to do what he wants anymore"—4x07) and angry/despairing when it's reversed (yelling no in show / Soren snarled. “Why couldn’t you just stay dead?”—TDP Reflections: Strangers).

Aaravos dangled Viren over Claudia's nose like a carrot dangling from a stick, and she followed. He didn't offer her revenge, but a way to save her father. But the same trick won't work twice on her. Claudia isn't going to try to bring Viren back again — it'd be a repeat and wouldn't progress her character any further — but she also can't walk away from Aaravos, because she's our sole primary antagonist outside the mirror and still might have a role in freeing him. And if she walks away from Aaravos, she's also going to be walking out of the plot, and we can't have that. Thus, I think power — and subsequent revenge — is about the only thing Aaravos would have left to offer her.

It gives her an incentive to 1) go after the prison and/or 2) generally do Aaravos' bidding, and if she couldn't defeat the trio without his help the first time, allying herself with him is the biggest way she can level up as a threat in terms of just like, power scaling.

There are also still a few bits of information that Aaravos knows but Claudia doesn't (that Rayla was responsible for Viren's death, and that Viren lied in 3x03; although for the latter, that's more something she couldn't or wasn't willing to accept) that could spur her further into well, going wonderfully apeshit.

Revenge is more of a fine motivator for her in 4x09 (tricking Rayla, although Terry gets her to turn around) and in S5 with the dragon (smirking and smiling about having the upper hand, making it scared of her) and in her altercations with the trio.

So yeah, my vote is on revenge — for better or definitely worse!

Obligatory fanon s6 fic plug in because of Claudia's revenge arc getting underway

[mooncaps]

Watching and Crying

I don’t know how this show can top the impact of everything it’s already done and I’m sure there will be a lot more I wish they could’ve done, but let’s go!

Okay, just straight in, picking up immediately where it left off. Kind of jarring.

Okay, I guess this is the Titan from the in between.

Ooh, the heart. I was wondering if there was something more to be done with that.

Um, what? Is she the Emperor? The Golden Guard? To quote Hooty from last episode: What’s happening?!

That’s different stained glass, right? I feel like they’re trying to tell me something significant, but it’s not clicking.

Thanks, I hate it.

Ominous vibes from Amity. I don’t think I’m ready for this.

I’m definitely not ready for this!

Okay, so it’s everyone’s worst nightmare. I’m catching up.

Eyyy, callbacks. It’s like an inversion of Covention.

Okay, they keep knocking that hat off and putting it back on. I feel like they’re trying to set up something, but I’m not quite sure what.

Let’s go, Amity!

Yes! More of the certified bop that is The Collector’s Theme. ♫ ♪

Okay, more callbacks.

I can dig it.

Well, uh, mad respect for the attempt, little dude, but I will be shocked if that works.

That’s probably not good.

And there goes the hat again. Tell me your secrets, hat!

Now we’re doing callbacks to Agony of a Witch. I see you.

Okay, but like, they’re not actually killing off the main character at the end of a Disney Channel show. I’m sad for the characters presumably thinking it, but I can’t pull myself out of the meta perspective.

Oh, whoa, it’s a Hooty eye. I didn’t even spot that before.

Oh, that is a look!

Yes! This is a callback I was fully expecting and I’m thrilled to see it.

Bookends in finales are one of my favorite tropes.

Yooo! Titan Luz looks sick!

Loving the new remix of the theme. ♪ ♫

Ooh! Okay, that rings a bell.

Y’all know I’ve been thinking about the hat. Ever since Camila picked it up in 3x01 it’s been on my mind. And when I was passing the time between 3x02 and 3x03, I watched reactors do 1x01 and the thought occurred to me that if the writers wanted to do a full circle moment, then maybe they’d throw back to...

And so this isn’t exactly what I was thinking and doesn’t really involve the hat like I thought it would, but I’m noticing the visual similarity.

(Hang on, let me from the next morning grab a better screencap and...)

Bookending with Titans getting their crowns. What they deserve.

Eeeee! These baby gays always give me life.

Awww, Hooty, you’re adorable!

Her.

Oh my heart’s not ready for this.

Of course she chose all of them. Oh, and she’s wearing Amity’s necklace!

Ooh, new door. Finally accomplished what Luz wanted when she tried to find The Collector in the first place.

Ahhhh! There he is carving palismen! I’m so happy for him!

And Dell gets to teach the trade to someone new. Oh, and Hunter’s got a new palisman.

Whoa. Alright, Amity. Get it, queen.

Eyyyy, Harpy Lilith. I was wondering if we’d ever get to see this.

Rainestorm looking fabulous.

Am I sensing chemistry? (And I’m not just talking about abominations.)

This looks neat, but it’s hard to get a good screenshot with the credits going.

Eda, also looking fabulous.

That’s a good shot. Even Boscha showed up. And I’m glad to see Tiny Nose survived the thorny situation she was in when Belos was taking over.

Also...

Same energy.

Oh, I’m just noticing Bat Queen’s kids growing up. Such precious little monsters.

Ooh, a new glyph.

Woop, Youtube shrunk the final image off to the corner. Me from the next morning has to step in again with a better screencap.

And there we have it.

So, yeah, I’ve watched this twice now. Remind me not to stay up til after midnight waiting for an episode of a show in the future. The second time hit way better when I was well-rested. Er, well, rested anyway.

There were definitely some spots where it felt kind of rushed, and I understand why they had to pack as much as they could into a short space of time, but it still leaves me wishing for more. The nightmares alone could’ve been an episode or two if we’d had a full season 3. But I suppose we can’t dwell too much on what could’ve been.

They did a lot with what they had and made something very meaningful and impactful in my life and I’m sure in the lives of many others. There’s also definitely plenty of room for them to expand into comics or spinoffs, should those opportunities ever arise.

I kind of wish The Collector hadn’t left. For one thing, that last screenshot will always be lacking one character that I would want in a full group shot. And I guess it’s implied that they helped build the new portal door at some point, but I would’ve like too see more of The Collector helping out with the rebuilding efforts. And now I’m quite curious about the Archivists and whatever else is going on in the stars. More potential left open for the future, I suppose.

Gotta say I’m surprised they killed Belos. Not that I’m mourning for him, but I was thinking Luz would probably use the last of her Titan power to imprison him between the realms. I figured that would be a fitting punishment, but maybe killing him was more merciful. And dead to rights, he’d already lived way past his natural lifespan by stealing the lives of others. I’m a little bit surprised that he even could be killed, stubbornly as he clung to life. And I would’ve been afraid to touch that goop for fear of getting possessed, but I guess maybe Luz was still exuding enough Titan power to prevent him from doing that. Anyway, I’m rambling on a tangent now.

Definitely quite a ride. I’m sure I’ll always wish there could’ve been more, but I’m equally sure I’ll always love what we got. And we got so much. Even if we never get anything else, I know this show will continue to spark fond memories in me.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Thursday, December 28

Ms. Barton: Hey! We're all stuck here, okay? So now let's just sit quietly and, pretend we're reading something until we're really sure that old Commandant Snyder's gone. Then we're all outta here! Xander: Does anyone else wanna marry Ms. Barton? Cordelia: Get in line.

~~Band Candy~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Tradition (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by VeroNyxK84

Midnight Rendezvous (Xander, Angel, NR) by Rivana

Keep Your Friends Close (Xander, Angel, G) by Rivana

Unsighted (Crossover with Psych, G) by Rivana

Family (Xander, Spike, M) by Rivana

Dark Son (Xander, G) by Rivana

You took the words right out of my mouth (Giles/Jenny, G) by Bobbie23

Old Friends (or something like it) (Crossover with Bones, G) by Rivana

Misconcepstions (Crossover with Labyrinth, G) by TheFruitBat

Flowers Among the Morning Dews (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by cawthraven

Beyond Time and Space (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by rkm

Charades (Buffy/Spike, PG) by EllieRose101

The Living (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by temporarytitle

A Peachy Christmas (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by JSBirsa

The Merry Month of Magnus Presents... Take Me Home (Buffy/Spike, PG) by tbd

Sexy December 28th (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Lady Emma

[Chaptered Fiction]

Birds of a Feather, Chapter 6 (Crossover with Teen Titans, T) by dogbertcarroll

For The Dark, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Faith, E) by CharcoalTeeth

La Hija., Chapter 1 (Crossover wtih Smallville, Spanish language, M) by KalK

every city's got a graveyard, Chapter 1 (Crossover with Stranger Things, NR) by hairstevington

Buffy/Angel (Post TV Series), Chapter 1 (Multi, M) by Salvatore_Legacy_2021

Closer, Chapter 73 (Buffy/Spike, R) by all_choseny

Hello, Darling, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Spikelover4ever

Cherry on Top, Chapter 19 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Maxineeden

Last Hurrah, Chapter 14 (Buffy/Spike, R) by ClowniestLivEver

Friend of a Friend's Cousin, Chapter 6 (Crossover with How I Met Your Mother, PG-13) by ClowniestLivEver

The Grapevine, Chapter 12 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by ClowniestLivEver

Hi Granny!, Chapter 15 (Buffy/Spike, PG) by Desicat

Easy Street, Chapter 5 (Crossover with The Walking Dead, FR18) by Arke

Potter Twins 5: The Order of the Phoenix, Chapter 16 (Crossover with Harry Potter, FR15) by Plato

The Magic of Sunnydale, Chapter 4 (Crossover with Harry Potter, FR15) by Buffyworldbuilder

Xanderpocalypse, Chapter 9 (Multiple crossings, FR15) by AxelBlade

The Prodigal Boyfriend, Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, 18+) by myrabeth

Aftermath, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Rea

The Merry Month of Magnus Presents . . . No Rules, Just Right, Chapter 10 (Buffy/Spike, PG) by bookishy

Other, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Grief Counseling

Love Lives Here, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Passion4Spike

The Freak Show, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, AO) by hulettwyo

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork:[Spike sketch] by junebugjo

Artwork:spangle by genericaces

Gifset:BTVS 1x03 - Witch by thepunkmuppet

Gifset: BTVS 1x04 - Teacher’s Pet by thepunkmuppet

Gifset:Be careful™ by mycatismyfriend

Gifset:1x06 | “The Pack” by clarkgriffon

Gifset:3x03 | 2x18 by thepunkmuppet

Gifset:2.17 || 3.12 by detectivedawnsummers

Gifset:No. 13 + Buffy the Vampire Slayer by sulietsexual

Video: Buffy the Vampire Slayer BEST BITS out of context (season 6) by Love Bites

Video: Xbox Longplay [003] Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Chaos Bleeds (EU) by World of Longplays

Video: Buffy, The Vampire Slayer - Jumpin', Jumpin' by Boo Harder

[Reviews & Recaps]

( ͡♥ ͜ʖ ͡♥)---🤖| Buffy the Vampire Slayer 5x15 "I Was Made to Love You" | Normies Group Reaction! by The Normies

The Weight of the World: Buffy the Vampire Slayer 5x21 Reaction by Dakara

The Gift: Buffy the Vampire Slayer 5x22 Reaction by Dakara

Actually, Cordelia and Xander's Relationship Made Sense on 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' by PopSnippets

[Recs & In Search Of]

Queen's Gambit recced by februaryfangfest

In need of a less depressing Buffy fic by OtherwiseFortune4

[Community Announcements]

Fandom Trees Masterlist [Trees with Buffy and Angel requests available] by FandomTrees

Reminder: No Ads by TTH

Charisma Carpenter will be joining James Marsters at Whispers from the Hellmouth Apr 20-21! by jamiemarsters

Juleit Landau will be joining James Marsters at For The Love of Fantasy Aug 17-18! by jamiemarsters

[Fandom Discussions]

[Anya deserved better] by groovebunker

[Giles in s6] by spikes-left-eyebrow

Do you think Buffy ever talked with Xander and Dawn about their reaction to Willow? [cont.] by multiple authors

The letter in "Touched" by multiple authors

What's something from the Buffyverse that bothers you now but didn't when you were younger? by multiple authors

Fun Fact- The New Little Sister/Faith Hope and Trick, and Jealousies/Real Me by multiple authors

I love Season 4 by multiple authors

Revived Drusilla: A Big Bad missed opportunity by multiple authors

Season 4 Timeline? by multiple authors

Buffy in different languages by multiple authors

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

Publication: This 1 Line From 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' Is An Ode Our Old Habits via Huffpost

Publication: 10 Ideas For A Buffy The Vampire Slayer Reboot That Could Actually Work via ScreenRant

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

[onceuponalegendbg]

Thoughts During TOH 3x03 Watching and Dreaming

Here we go. The finale. This is it.

I’m going to be honest, I didn’t record my reactions to the first half of this so some general thoughts before I continue.

So, seeing kind of King, Luz, and Eda’s worst fears be reaffirmed by the dreams was the worst, but we also got out of the actual dreams a lot quicker than I expected. It’s fine, I understand.

Raine needs to rest after all this.

We’re actually teaching the Collector about actual friendship and kindness and the permanence of death, huh.

The fact that Luz actually reassured the Collector that what they did wasn’t wrong when they tried to apply their lessons of forgiveness and kindness to Belos but it’s just the issue itself is so much more complicated than that. That kind of approach isn’t going to work on someone like Belos. I just really appreciate her letting them know that they didn’t do anything wrong.

And finally, before I continue, Luz’s “death” got me to cry. Especially when it showed Camilla crying even as a puppet like she knew! Ugh. Pain!

Okay, back to the live reacting.

“I should have thanked them.” AHHHHHHH! Pain!

TITAN DADDY!

Who voices him? It’s an interesting voice.

Oh that’‘s a cool design.... Bye Titan Daddy.

Gus! Friends! Camilla! .... “She’ll be okay.” Frick why am I crying again!?

Okay so, two things. The voice acting for the Collector right now? Amazing. He sounds like such a scared kid. Love it. Second, Luz’s Titan Witch design? Gorgeous! 10/10.

OH MY GOD! My baby is casting spells with spell circles and Eda is supporting her and the animation got real smooth and I’m getting emotional again!

Weh!

Look at all my babies go!

I haven’t mentioned it yet but this version of the theme is killing me! Oh my god!

The overview of the Titan! Like back in episode 2! A callback to the scene that made me realize I was going to love this show! How dare! Crying in the club a lot tonight!

And then they do an episode 4 callback! “From the heart!” Hell yes it does!

RAINE!

GOD THE ANIMATION! GO OFF CREW!

OPENING SCENE CALLBACK! “I am the Good Witch Luz. Child of the Human Realm. Student of the Demon Realm. And Warrior of Peace!” She better say what came after- “NOW EAT THIS SUCKA!” YESSSSSS LEETTTTS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO! And oh my god the animation! That looked like Studio Trigger there for a second! LWA anyone?

Nice try Belos. Love how Luz didn’t say a word.

WHY AM I FRICKIN CRYING OVER A BREAD PUN FRICK ME! SCREW THIS SHOW! HOW DARE IT!

DAMN RIGHT IT’S AN HAPPY ENDING!

FINALLY EDA AND CAMILLA MEET IT’S ALL I EVER WANTED! BEST CO-PARENTS!

So... No more glyphs.

TIME JUMP AND LUZ LOOKS SO COOL!

WHAT THE HELL WILLOW LOOKS SO COOL TOO!

EVERYONE LOOKS SO DOPE WHAT THE HELL!

Oh that last shot was just mean!

Alright. So.... full thoughts later. Right now I’m just gonna cry. It’s been emotionally taxing day with my shows so... Yeah.

Thank you Dana. Thank you Owl Crew. You guys really brought us something special!

[feldspursfiyero]

star trek picard 3x03

UM OKAY THAT'S INTERESTING, THIS EP WAS A LOT BETTER

raffi's having a great time being with worf!!

worf is very funny, the chamomile tea line after what he said before sent me

ummmm. still not quite liking jack, but he's getting better

i like seven

not sure why riker and picard were arguing so much haha

ummm. shaw conveniently getting taken out!

i'm gonna spoil myself and read what happens in ep 4, bc i can't watch it now

i like how they linked up the two storylines the instant the portal weapon was used on the titan (like, the visual bam-worthy way they linked them was *chef's kiss*)

the convo with picard and beverly was interesting... i mean, i get both their points. but hey. they did break up 5 times didn't they (or something like that?) skjfngkfg i can see why

also (more relating to the prev ep) i am a little uncertain why picard was so sure that jack was his son

that convo jack had with riker was interesting... is he now doing what he said orrrrr (i barely remember it though loool)

oh yeah i quite like laforge too

i feel like i had more to say as i was watching the ep, but i didn't stop to take notes/liveblog, and now i don't remember it. oh well~

[igaffuri]

Assistindo Attack on Titan 3x03 "Old Story"

[littlehobbit13]

Are you sure you wanna give this power to me?

[pirathotten]

I just watched Titans 3x03 "Hank & Dove"

[makaientjluvdaprince]

I just watched Teen Titans Go! 3x03 "Dignity of Teeth"

[imminent-danger-came]

*sets down a second folding chair and places it next to my previous one* 3x03! The finale! Sharing my thoughts since I talked about the first two. It’s not all negative like before, but it’s goin’ under a read more anyways since imma complain:

First of all: that shit was very cool. Belos taking control of the Island? Dad titan? Titan Luz? The music?

Like, I was super into it! I enjoyed the finale (even though I'm going to complain about it, I swear I did), and I enjoyed it WAY more than the first two episodes of s3. 3x01 and 3x02 were...honestly I think they were terrible. 

*Sigh*.

God. I’m so sad they butchered my Philip story. They butchered his character so, so terribly. That man was a walking corpse of the plot for all of s3. We got no real conclusion for the Wittebane brothers or for the golden guard. "This is for the good of your souls". Okay. That didn't lead anywhere. Like, a villain can be irredeemable AND have depth, you know? But this is what The Owl House does, they establish things that don't lead anywhere.

Again, I think this could have been fixed! Belos could have manipulated Hunter with Caleb’s past while they were in the same body, and seeing the inner struggle of that conflict would have added SO MUCH. It could have made flapjacks death more relevant too—have flapjack let himself get absorbed by Hunter/Belos so his soul could be used to help Hunter fight off Belos’ control. This adds so much to Hunter’s arc for the season while also giving us like, the story of the Wittebanes from an actually relevant source. It also has flapjack going out the way he lived: showing Hunter that he’s more than Belos’ manipulation.

I’ve talked about it before but the Collector felt very different from his original appearances. Of course I loved him by the end, but I do still miss what once was. They totally retconned his og story which is whatever, but I wanted to know what the deal with the owl beast was! That was like, one of the main plot points s1 set up that was further expanded on in s2. Maybe this was always what was planned for the collector (though the way talks about titans when he meets king in "King's Tide" makes me think otherwise). If this was always the plan...then it was sloopy lol. Sure, give the child who doesn't understand the concept of death morals, but make sure when he's talking to Philip it actually SEEMS like he's a misguided child, rather than legitimately super fucked up. Or, even have it seem like King actively affected the Collector over the couple month time skip—have the Collector go from a completely moral-less being who relishes in chaos to a being who has someone else to be their morals.

I think my main problem with s3 of toh is that I think they could have done it. I’ve seen more done with less—The Dragon Prince only ever has 9 20 minute episodes per season, which is like, only 40 minutes more than toh s3. Lego Monkie kid has 10 minute 10 episode seasons, and I'm always blown away with what that show is able to accomplish. I just know it's possible—TOH could have done way more with the time it had.

Another thing I wished they did was have Luz’s guilt be around more than just leading Philip to the collector. Like, there was definitely more there. Eda losing her magic? The pain her mother went through of fearing for her child? All of her friends being stranded from their home? The boiling isles being destroyed? Luz feeling like a burden to everyone in s2? Idk, it was just clunky man. They basically went, Luz, this is why you're terrible: "you helped Philip meet the collector", "you helped Philip meet the collector", and "you helped Philip meet the collector". I appreciated the bit with Hunter saying "you got your palismen while I lost mine", like thank GOD there was SOMETHING.

I’ve seen some other folks make points about the Titan giving Luz powers going against the lesson of 1x02 (1x03?)—which is fair, but I think I disagree! I was all for the “Belos ripping the power from the island while Luz was given that power” parallel. It wasn’t about her being “chosen”, it was that she happened to be there, and more importantly she happened to be kind. Luz had to be the one to accept that power I think—it wasn’t the Titan’s choice, it was Luz’s. But maybe that’s just me!

Here's a little buffer sentence because I'm totally jumping around lol

Anyways, they TOTALLY abandoned all of the side characters at the end there. Rip Gus, Willow, Amity, Camila, and Hunter. You were real one’s and we didn’t get to focus on you at all in 3x03. This makes your character send-off 3x02, which is a real shame. Like, why did Hunter get Flapjack powers? Honestly? I just feel like it didn't add anything and actively took away from the "finding your own way to do things" theme they had going. I know that the show started with Eda, Luz, and King and that the show needed to end with Eda, Luz, and King—but those side characters not aiding in ANY way for the final confrontation felt...weird? Like a missed opportunity? IDK.

Finale complaint: Lumity. Like, they're cute, of course they are. And obviously I've been spoiled by Rayllum for YEARS, with the way arc 1 of TDP literally culminated with the leap scene and a love confession. Like, I know. TDP has forever altered my brain chemistry. Rayla affects Callum just like Callum affects Rayla. Lumity just...doesn't have any of that. Their relationship, despite being a huge focus for seasons 1 and 2, just...didn't amount to anything for the finale. Like, yay! They kissed! It was sweet! But what did it honestly add to the narrative they were trying to tell? How did Amity impact Luz's character? TOH has never been strong on a thematic front, and that's obvious to see in every aspect of the show.

Like, I wasn't a huge huge fan of Amphibia's ending, but man! At least there was intent! And, at least plenty of people *did* enjoy that ending for what I think were the right reasons. Even if I don't like how they went about it, the whole "some things you love leave your life and some things come back" message was good.

So, tldr: Could have been way better, plenty of wasted potential (especially in the first 2 episodes), but I do still think it was a solid finale! Solid finale for a mid show, with a very shaky run to get there.

*sets down my folding chair and sits* So, 3x01 of the o/w/l h/ou/se. Fair warning this is a negative rant so I'm putting it under a readmore:

I can not believe the stars were aligned for the PERFECT Hollow Mind parallel, and it DIDN'T HAPPEN. Hunter and Philip trapped in the same body/mind? Hunter fighting for control? Luz coming to terms with the fact that she lead Philip to the collector? Flapjack getting absorbed into Hunter like all those previous palismens were absorbed into Belos? Like that would have been so good it KILLS ME that it didn't happen. Learning how Philip and Caleb found their way to the Boiling Isles would have been way more satisfying coming from Philip himself.

And honestly like...the episode was fine-ish, but I think overall I was disappointed by it. I don't really care for how they handled Hunter and Luz's respective secrets, and I was SUPER disappointed by Luz's reaction to Belos' return. Like there he is, the man who caused about 3/4 of all your trauma, and like....nothing? Like on god running into Belos should have been the culmination of her s2 and 3x01 arc, yet it wasn't.

I also just kinda wish Luz's refusal to tell her friends she helped Phiplip meet the collector was based more in her fear of being a burden rather than the fear of her friends hating her. This isn't to say there weren't good moments in the special, but they were definitely scattered throughout the episode. It all just fell super flat for me. But I guess in general I find The Owl House to be a very mid show.

Since typing this post in my drafts I've also watched 3x02 and honestly, I feel the same way I did watching the first episode. The writers tried to give every character their own new mini arc instead of focusing on what had already been established previously. Which would be fine, except... this is the penultimate episode. We should be building off of everyone's series long arcs (of which Luz only really has, and I guess Hunter too since he was only around for season 2. Kind of Belos? They've just like, abandoned writing him).

Genuinely disappointed they took away all of the fucked-upedness from the Collector and just made him a lonely kid, rather than a child with the powers of a god and no regard for others or morals. His debut in "Hollow Mind" made him out to be someone who truly relished in chaos, and now he's just like...a child playing make-believe. I think an angle like this could have worked with a different approach, but the episode as is isn't really my thing.

Both these specials feel like "these are all the ideas we had for season 3, let's shove them into these specials" rather than effectively using the time they had. Like...the human world and hexside shenanigans are fun, sure, but focusing on the like...everything else you now don't have time to pay off is way more important.