#tis a rainy day and I'm in a horse mood

[thewaterisblackwithvenom]

OHHHHH now I’m like. Obsessed w/ thinking about how other characters would tame horses. Oh my god this is such a fun train of thought holy sh*t. We know how Arthur n John are, but like. Yeah ok this is gonna be a mess but I must jot down thoughts.

(Past self had no idea how long this was going to be lmaooo cut time!)

Sean I imagine would totally eat dirt. Multiple times. Like Arthur could be standing there warning him “I really wouldn’t do that and here’s why” and Sean would just wave him off and be all “I GOT this, English, watch me” and then whoops. He’s an idiot but I also feel like he’d be cute to a degree and throw the Sean MacGuire Charm™ at the horse. Like talking the horse up is actually gonna help. I can’t see him being really good at taming horses, but I can’t see him being cruel, just. Stupid lmao. He strikes me as the kind to be sweet to animals so I bet there’d be some cute dialog. I feel like Ennis is a very laid back, “I’m stuck with this idiot but sometimes he brings me treats so I guess I tolerate him” kind of horse.

Dutch. Haha. Good luck getting Dutch on a horse that isn’t already Completely Subservient. Pretend for a moment you could actually convince him to do so, I feel like he’d actually try and talk reason to the horse. Like “okay, here’s how things are gonna go”. Maybe he’d even try to reason with it. If you wanna think cute, maybe he’d spend a week reading Miller to it before he attempts to even get near it. “It needs to get used to the sound of my voice” he’ll reason. Rreally he’s just procrastinating and doing what he does best: subjecting innocent living creatures into listening to his fanboy babbling. I feel like he’d be good at the “just jump on and ride em out” type bc good luck getting Dutch Van Der Linde off your *ss. I feel like he’d also be able to stay C̸͎̻̿̇Ä̸͔̻́́͗̓͜L̸̬̘̓̈́̃͝M̶̩̝̙̠͗̕ enough to do so. If nothing else, I feel like he’d be decently successful bc he’s physically strong/big, and so is his ego, and failing would damage that so it’s not really an option. I feel like the Count, despite being an Arabian, notorious for being spirited, likes Dutch because they’re both uppity and concerned with appearances. Maybe Dutch had a “come to Jesus” talk with the Count at some point and he “respects” Dutch. They’re very similar I feel so that’s why Dutch + Arabian works. (even if it’s still hilarious to see Dutch’s giant *ss on that poor tiny princess pony)

Listen I know Mary-Beth wouldn’t be the kind of person to tame horses, but literally I’m just adding her bc she would totally just read to the horse. Like she’d never even attempt to ride it or do anything to it except maybe like brush it’s mane and tail eventually. It’d really just be like a giant vegan cat. This is a very cute thought to me and that’s why I’m putting it here. Mary-Beth reading to a horse. That’s. Wholesome.

Uncle would also Not Succeed, and I feel like this is bc you’d come back to find him and the horse just straight up napping together under a tree or some sh*t. Man’s got lumbago. You know what doesn’t help lower back pain? Riding horses that don’t wanna be ridden. 

Since we’re really just segueing away from actually taming horses to just people interacting with untamed horses, may I present to you Abigail and Jack. I feel like Abigail wouldn’t really care much about horses but if Jack did obviously she’d have to become the Horse Kid Mom. So if Jack takes a liking to a horse she’d support him and also keep him safe. I can see Jack like, bugging Pearson for leftover carrots n apples n stuff to feed it. He’s also learned that horses will eat flowers, so putting flower crowns on a horse is a bit of a challenge. Abigail distracts it with treats so Jack can crown it. If you want something really f*cking cute, you can imagine Kieran teaching Jack how to braid manes n forelocks so he can braid flowers into it’s hair. I’m not an angst person, my whole life is angst so I like to Fluff. Sh*t. Up. So deal with it.

So ofc Kieran I imagine is naturally gifted. Or like. Years of experience. I feel like part of it’s natural, bc he’s just a very laid back and incredibly forgiving person by nature. I’m not even sure if he’s capable of holding a grudge unless you SERIOUSLY f*ck with him, so I can’t see him ever even getting angry at a horse for anything. I’m sure he’s been kicked, bitten, thrown, run over, and sh*t on(fellow horse people probably know what I mean lmao). He gets that horses are Horses and not out to be *ssholes. Probably one reason he likes them so much. “I know where I am with them”. I’m not gonna even try to imagine what he’d say to a horse, because at it is I’m at Maximum Wholesomeness Capacity for today(ain’t kidding, maybe I’ll explore this more later when I’m not emotionally compromised lmao). You just know it’s up there with Arthur and John Horse Taming Wholesomeness. He genuinely loves horses and is naturally sweet and patient. He’s more likely to apologize for dropping hay on a horse’s head than he is to so much as smack one for giving him attitude. In my head he is Branwen’s Best Friend, for what should be obvious reasons. They’re all they had for god knows how long, and you know Kieran has spoiled the hell out of that horse. There is so much more I could say about Kieran and horses but this isn’t about just him lmao.

Our boy Lenny, I don’t really see really taming horses, but if he did, I think he’d be good at it. He’s not only a kind person, but he’s also smart. I think he’d pick up on subtle things that people(like Sean cough cough) wouldn’t notice. He’s not the ~big rough cowboy~ type, so isn’t going to try something stupid like just rope it and hop on. It’s hard to see him taming horses but I feel like if it was something he was interested in, he’d just be really good at bc he’s bright and sweet. 

I wanna do Sadie, because I feel like that’s gonna be more like a battle of wills. It’s hard to see her being soft and emotional, bc that isn’t really. Sadie. I’m not like, suuuper knowledgeable about her personality, but I feel like she’s more likely to tame horses the rodeo way. Hop on, hang on, ride em out. I pity the horse that thinks it can out stubborn Sadie Adler. I can’t see her being mean or aggressive, but I also can’t see her like, spending a lot of time being friends on the ground, building things up, etc. Sadie isn’t going to be mean in any way, but her horse is also gonna learn that she’s in control. The horse isn’t in charge, Sadie is. That also means that you can trust her not to run you off a cliff, let a wolf get you, etc. . If you’re Sadie’s horse, hell will be upon anyone who tries to f*ck with you. I feel like none of Sadie’s horses are like, the sweet and cuddly type, but they know and trust Sadie with their lives, and will pretty much ride into hell with her if she asked.