#tir na nog (go back to your cocoon) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

artpharos · 6 years ago

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Adrift among the Stars

Hi guys Rays gave us Lambda and main graces ending so I wrote self-indulgent Sophie and Lambda interactions because I am desperate for content of any kind

ao3 link here

The night air was cold. A brisk breeze tousled his hair and brushed against his skin, and the sound of waves, crashing rhythmically against the beach, echoed in his ears. It was otherwise quiet, without a peep of life or sound. Up above, the half-moon hung low in the sky as it continued its crawling descent into the sea. And the stars, bright and beautiful, glistened down from above. Were his host to describe it, no doubt Asbel Lhant would have called it peaceful.

The word was as foreign to him as the rest of this world.

Lambda bit back a sigh. Deep in their shared mind, Asbel was cocooned by warm dreams and oblivious sleep. The boy didn't even realized that Lambda was awake; that he had been, for several days now. Asbel certainly didn't know that his every action and thought had been scrutinized by the monster he chose to share his body with. Didn't sense the unease that had sat with Lambda since he had woke, nor even stir when the creature took his body out into the night.

But though he had escaped Asbel's detection and could escape into the woods should he so choose, Lambda... hesitated.

It was why he stood now, staring out into an unfamiliar landscape. Everything he knew— everything he had grown up with for centuries— was gone. His world, his purpose. Even the stars, his constant guide through the centuries, had been replaced by mirrored illusions. His entire existence had been overturned. Nothing made sense, and he had nothing to fall back on, save the delusional idea of peace that Asbel had promised him.

For the first time in a thousand years, Lambda didn't know what to do.

Then his ruminations were interrupted when he heard a sharp intake of breath behind him— and a soft voice he could never mistake.

"Lambda."

Lambda closed his eyes. He breathed, counted the beat of Asbel's heart. And when he turned, she was there.

"Protos Heis."

Even in Tir na Nog, she was just as he remembered. Purple hair, small frame. Her stance was relaxed, arms askew as she watched him. But he could never mistake her composure for calm— not with such a hateful glint in her eyes.

She sized him up, her gaze as firm and uncompromising as ever. She probably sensed he was awake and followed him. No doubt she'd be ready to leap at him if he so much as made a move... or would she? Asbel Lhant was precious to her, after all. Just like Richard had been.

Richard... Lambda swallowed, dismissing the flash of sadness that passed through him. It was only Asbel's memories of his friend that brought about such sentimental notions, after all. And he couldn't afford sentimentality; not with Protos Heis.

"Where's Asbel?" she demanded.

"Asleep," Lambda responded curtly. "Fear not. He is safe, for now." His lips curled when Protos Heis flinched. Was it his voice through Asbel's lips? Or perhaps, his gaze through Asbel's eyes? Regardless, for the first time since he had woken, he had found something familiar— even if it was nothing more than the old steps of their usual hostility.

Falling into tandem, Protos Heis stepped towards him. "If you hurt him—"

He snorted. "What would you do?" He shook his head. "You'd have to hurt him to hurt me. Destroy yourself; to destroy me."

She faltered. Her eyes lowered, her hands tightening into fists. "I don't want to," she finally answered. "When Asbel spoke to you, you felt... different. Like you weren't going to harm anyone else."

He let out a short bark. "So, do you truly believe I've changed, simply because of what this boy said? That I won't destroy him, just as I destroyed Richard?"

Her expression shifted. Faster than his eye could follow, she lunged at him. The action caught him by surprise— he hadn't really thought she'd dare attack Asbel Lhant— but before he knew it, she had knocked him onto the ground, her gauntleted fist pressing his neck against the sand.

"How could you?" she demanded. "You were almost taken over by Phantom, and Asbel tried to help you! To protect you!"

A chill ran down his spine. His memories since he entered this world had been fuzzy, but he remembered a presence holding him down. A dark voice in his ear, as pain lanced through his body. The desire to scream, followed by the realization that he had no mouth, no voice. Someone grabbing on to him, feeding off him, using him—

And through the darkness and pain, there was someone else. An outstretched hand, and warm blue eyes.

Lambda snarled. "I don't need protection," he reminded her. "Not from him, or from anyone else."

Protos Heis glared at him. "Then let go of him, Lambda."

Lambda's eyes narrowed. "That would be your greatest wish, would it not? For me to return your friend to you, and cease to exist?"

Her expression hardened, and she pressed her arm tight against him.

"Why couldn't you leave us alone, Lambda?" she yelled. "Why did you come to this world? I didn't have to fight you, and Asbel and everyone else was with me! I have school, friends— I was happy! So, why did you have to come here?!"

Her vehemence that caught him off-guard. Or perhaps it was the despair in her voice, the yearning for a life that Protos Heis shouldn't have wanted.

Once more, Lambda hesitated.

She swallowed, but her grip didn't let up. She leaned in, her voice controlled and low. "I don't want to hurt Asbel. But I will, if it means saving him from you. So tell me, Lambda.

"What are you trying to do?"

Purple eyes, determined face. She was the one familiar thing in his life that had stayed even more constant than the stars. But even she wasn't the same Protos Heis that had hunted him down without reservation any longer. That thought brought about a twinge of sadness that Lambda didn't care to explore.

"Why?" he grit out. "Why do you even care for my reasons? You never did before!"

She balked. One blink, then two. Tentatively, she responded, "Because Asbel wanted to give you a chance. To live."

He glanced away. With a soft breath, he sighed.

"I do not know."

Her grip lightened briefly, before pressing against his throat once more. A choked gasp escaped him, and he glared at her. But instead of the cold hunter he remembered, there was confusion in her eyes.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Exactly as I said," he replied. "I have no plans. I have no purpose. I have no reason to fight for, Protos Heis, without a core to live in. Everything that I was— everything that I longed for— was taken from me the moment I was exoflected to this world.

"I do not even have the strength to live without Asbel Lhant to host me. And even then—" Lambda lowered his gaze. "He only saved me to save you. To spare you from... killing us both."

He heard her sharp inhale, the tremble through her arm.

"That's not true."

"Is it not?" Lambda let out a dry laugh. "Why would anyone choose to host me, Protos Heis, with naught to gain for their own?"

"Because Asbel wanted to save you."

Her voice faltered. Hesitantly, the weight around his neck lifted.

She moved aside, and Lambda pulled himself up. Still, she remained kneeling at his eye-level, her hands on her lap. She was watching him, but her eyes didn't seem quite so clear. Not so full of hate.

"He didn't just do it for me." Biting her lip, she continued, "Don't you remember? He wanted you to live, too."

Live. "Why?" he barked out. "What point is there in living? Why do these insects, these humans, insist that I live, when my life has nothing worth living for!?"

He expected Protos Heis to spew one of Asbel's platitudes. But instead, she watched him with an unfamiliar expression. Hesitantly, her hand reached out and stroked the side of his cheek.

He flinched. But the motion was gentle. Peaceful. Warm.

"Stop that," he snarled, but he couldn't bring himself to shake her hand away.

"You're wrong, you know?"

He glared at her. But her expression was unfazed.

"My greatest wish wasn't to see you gone," she said softly. "You're with Asbel now, and I don't want to hurt him. I... I wanted us to live together, side by side, without having to hurt one another. Where both of us could be... happy."

With a sigh, his shoulders sagged. "How foolish," he bit out, but somehow he couldn't muster his usual venom. He glanced at her. "Do you truly believe that is possible? Us? Living together in peace?"

She chewed her lip. Her hand dropped to the side. "I don't know," she answered finally, "but it's a nice thought, isn't it?"

"No." The idea of happiness had always just been that— and idea, a notion told to him by countless humans. The sensation of peace was just as foreign to him. The idea that he could have both— that he was being offered both... it had to be a lie.

Still, something tugged at him. A sense of longing for the warmth that so cocooned Asbel Lhant's spirit; that had kept him rooted here, not far from camp, instead of the dark forests where he could escape to. Where he had been captured and torn apart.

He sighed. "What is it like, Protos Heis? To live in this world? To be alive?"

She frowned. Sitting back on her heels, she was quiet for a moment, before she responded, "It's nice. Mileena and Ix are good people. When they exoflected us, they were just trying to save their world. Everybody wants to help them.

"Farah's a good cook, and Jude's always watching out for me," she continued. "Lloyd is bad at math, but he's always the first one to help when I can't reach the sweets on the top shelf. Everyone's from different worlds, but they work together to make this one a better place."

She shifted, ducking her head. "I know what you've experienced in Tir na Nog isn't the same as what I've experienced, and I'm sorry. But if you give this world a chance— I'm sure you'll find a place where you... belong."

Lambda didn't know what to say. It sounded idealistic, compared to the tortures Mercuria had made him endure. Compared to everything he had ever known. But even so...

"I cannot go back to our world," he said at last. "But neither have I a place to be. A place I can be. I am... stuck here, Protos Heis, whether we both like it or not."

Protos Heis took in a deep breath. She studied him for a moment, but gone was the hateful glint in her eyes. Finally, she fixed him with a serious stare. "Then, as long as you do not harm Asbel, you'll have a place here. I promise."

She didn't smile. But then she held out a hand, and he saw her eyes brighten ever-so-slightly, and the softening of the corners of her mouth.

Without a word, he took her hand and she stood, pulling him up with her. Standing there, his hand in hers— Lambda could never have imagined such a day would ever pass.

"It's almost dawn," she remarked, her head turning upwards. Glancing back at him, she added, "we better get Asbel back before he wakes up."

"Indeed," Lambda rumbled.

She smiled. It was a soft one, much like the streaks of rose and orange permeating through the lightening sky.

The waves still crashed unceasingly against the shore, and the quiet solitude of the night had yet to pass. This world was as unfamiliar as ever, as strange and off-putting as when Lambda first awoke.

But a strange calm quietly stole over him as Protos Heis led him back to camp, and Lambda wondered. He still had no purpose; no reason to live. But for the first time in his life, he didn't have to run. Didn't have to hide.

Perhaps this sensation of peace would be brief. False, just like everything else in his life. Perhaps Protos Heis would turn on him the next day, or the next week. Perhaps Asbel Lhant would reject him, just like everyone else eventually did. Perhaps this was just an illusion that he had finally succumbed to, wishing on a hope he knew would eventually betray him.

But perhaps, just for a moment, he could finally rest.

#tales of the rays #tales of graces #sophie #lambda

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