#tips on spicing the love life and dropping life wisdom

[yarnnerdally]

Falling in Love in a Bakery - A Series

A vignette into the love life of Imogen Quinn and Nokto Klein

Characters: Imogen, Nokto, Aurelia (Imogen's sister) Setting: Quinntessential Baked Goods bakery Rating: Teen Word Count: 1,223

     It was a fairly quiet day in Rhodolite and Imogen was glad for it. Just the week before she had baked her heart out for a wedding in which the couple insisted on not only having cake, but profiteroles, macarons, and rose water shortbread cookies. After a few days off (in which Nokto was visiting nobles in Benitoite, much to her displeasure) the bakery was back in the swing of things as usual. With a self-satisfied smile Imogen pulled freshly baked strawberry rhubarb tarts out of the oven. They were small, only consisting of two bites to finish one, but they were one of her best-sellers.

     ‘And Nokto’s favorite,’ she mused to herself, smiling fondly. It’s not like they were dating. But… things certainly seemed to be headed that direction. He visited the shop in any of the free time they had and even the knowledge of him busting his backside to spend time with her made her feel as warm as a freshly baked pie. The bell on the door chimed signaling that a customer had come into the shop. Setting down the tray, she went to the front of the shop to see Nokto looking quite thoughtfully at the display case.

     “Nokto!” She was surprised to see him a full day earlier than when he said he would return from his duties in Benitoite. She went to him, untying her apron and placing it on the counter so she could give him a proper hug. “What are you doing back? I thought you wouldn’t be here until tomorrow!”

     Nokto’s shoulders visibly relaxed when he saw Imogen, a soft (if weary) smile gracing his face as he hugged her back. “Got done just a little early. Figured I’d swing by to see my favorite baker before heading back to the palace,” he said, tapping the tip of her nose. She chuckled a little and withdrew from him.

     “Wait right there. I have something for you,” she said, disappearing to the back room again. The tarts had just barely cooled down enough where she could package a few of them for him and came back out with the box. “They just finished cooling down. Had to make another batch since the first one sold out at 10 this morning,” she laughed. Nokto opened the small box and made a small ‘o’ shape with his mouth.

     “I’m going to have to smuggle this into the palace, you know. Otherwise Licht and Jin will scent these out like a bloody hound,” he mused. He looked at the box pensively for a moment before deciding to indulge and take a bite of one of the tarts, groaning softly as he savored it. “Anything new and exciting while I was away?”

     Imogen shook her head and shrugged. “Not new, necessarily. Jin actually dropped by yesterday. That was about it.” Nokto’s chewing slowed as he heard his brother had come by the shop and immediately became suspicious.

     “Jin? What for?”

     “He was getting a bunch of his favorites. The coffee roll, the chocolate spice cake,” She went on, sitting at one of the stools next to the counter. She debated telling him what else happened but her conscience won out. “He asked me on a date.” There was a tension that lingered in the air for a moment. “I politely declined. He, uh… told me to keep him in mind if my prince charming never comes along.” She could see Nokto bristle a little at that but quickly tamp the emotion down. It was only a split second, but it was there.

     “Why are you upset?” She asked softly.

     “Upset? Why would I be upset?” Nokto asked, brushing the question off and scoffing before putting the rest of the tart back in the box. This wasn’t the first time he simply wouldn’t come clean with his feelings and Imogen felt she was at her breaking point.

     “Y’know,” she began, picking up her apron and beginning to put it back on, “for all the intellect you have, you lack any and all wisdom,” she huffed, turning to head back behind the counter until a hand stopped her by her wrist.

     “I lack wisdom?” he questioned, his own temper spiking at her sudden shift in attitude. “Tell me, then, what wisdom do you expect me to possess at this moment?”

     “That I rejected Jin because I’m in love with you!” She had turned to face him, the words flying out of her mouth before she knew it. Once she realized what she had actually admitted to, a hard blush began to spread across her face. Nokto stood there in a stunned silence, his hand still around her wrist though his grip loosened considerably.

     “What?” He blinked, any traces of annoyance gone from his face now as he stepped closer to her, her back now against the display case. Imogen sighed a little, verdant eyes meeting ruby. His brow furrowed, attempting to ascertain whether or not he was in a dream. “Say that again. Please.”

     “I…” why did she suddenly feel like she was out of breath with him so close? His hand was cupping her jaw and another settled on her hip. “I rejected Jin. Because I’m in love with you.” She watched as his breath caught in his chest, hope and light springing to his eyes in the split second before his lips descended upon her’s with a fierce hunger. It was another moment before she realized Nokto was kissing her. The information finally processed in her brain and she melted like sunwarm chocolate into his embrace. She brought her arms around his neck to hold him as close as she had always wanted, her hand buried into his silver locks. The rest of the world fell away as he kissed her breathless, gently pinning her against the display case. Nokto pulled away just slightly when they heard the sound of the back door of the bakery opening.

     “That'll be Aurelia,” Imogen murmured, swallowing thickly as her hands rested on his chest.

     “Then I suppose we should make ourselves more presentable,” he murmured into her ear, leaning down to press a kiss just under it. “Alternatively…” Imogen giggled, her cheeks stained a pretty shade of pink.

     “Alternatively I would ask her to run the shop for an hour or so but if I know you…” she brought her hands up to his face, holding it softly. She watched and grinned as he flushed ever so slightly at the contact. “Once you have me properly alone, it'll be more than an hour.” Nokto laughed softly, pressing his face into her touch.

     “You know me well,” he murmured, a soft sigh escaping his lips. “And… for the record. I'm very much in love with you, too.” Imogen felt warmth bloom in her chest as he admitted his own feelings for her, her eyes tender. As much as they didn't want to, they parted. Nokto had things to finish at the palace and the business day was not over for the bakery. Nokto pressed a lingering kiss to her cheek before leaving and she watched him head down the street from the doorway.

     “Sooooo…” Aurelia smirked as she put her elbows on the counter, her chin resting on her hands as she watched her little sister at the door. “When's the wedding?”

I couldn't remember if I asked before about people wanting to be tagged in OC content, so lmk if you'd like to be!

[concernedacfan]

Boy I love making that truth tea, is this how one does the ac memes @assassinsmemes ?

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

lovers’ dreams

Summary: “A day fit for a spring dream.” And then he kisses Roshan, and they become lost in each other.

Characters: India (Aditya), China, Iran/Persia (Roshan, genderfluid). Human names used. Indran, Churan, and Indchu for ships!

Notes: 100% distilled surrealism! This was supposed to be a writing exercise that ran away from me rip. There are many footnotes that explain Many things. Enjoy!

also on AO3! (there are bonus thoughts and explanations there for anyone who’s interested or slightly confused 😅. everything necessary for you to understand the story is here too but I ramble about my thoughts going into the piece on AO3 lol)

———

The willow’s drooping branches hide Yao’s face like a beaded curtain, a bride’s sheer red veil. The spring breeze snakes through the tree, and the sound of wedding suona—sorna rings through the silence. A flutter of phoenix wings brushes past their ear, a whisper on the wind. Roshan walks languidly until they are in front of Yao; it takes a minute—it takes a month. Yao’s face is sharp and his eyes glint, like the jade in his belt. But the kiss is soft when they take his lips in theirs, and it tastes of the rose’s tender petals. The clean sweetness of flowers is warm against Roshan’s face and the fragrance of tea drifts into their nostrils. 

Yao pulls away, and Roshan opens their eyes to polished jade thorns sprouting up from the earth around them—crisp green, sharp-tipped; elegant, dangerous. So these are the fruits of our love. It is fitting. They lean to kiss Yao again, and this time, a laugh peals through the air when they part. It is not Roshan’s, and it isn’t Yao’s. But it is clear as spring water and tinkles like a bell, a joyous sound, and it makes Yao smile—a smile that is gentle, calculating; sweet, dangerous. A copper coin hides in the corner of his lips. “A day fit for a spring dream.” And then he kisses Roshan, and they become lost in each other.

When Roshan opens their eyes again, Yao is gone. They are standing in nothingness, a shell of a dream. A liminal plane. A wedding song echoes in the empty space, loud and cheerful, although there are no musicians to be seen playing the dohol, the sorna. Then sprung from the air, a mirror of fate, Aayeneh-ye Bakh, with its customary candelabras flanking it, and with their dots of golden light—miniature suns, sparkling stars. Its face shimmers, clear and gleaming: a pond on a full moon night—and in it, Yao stands, his reflection bright, splendid robes shimmering like gold scales and fine silk. Roshan reaches out a hand, and pulls him into a kiss.

“Welcome back, my dear.”

———

It is sunset, and a chill brushes past Yao’s shoulders and winds through his hair. The sky burns red, and fork tongued flames lick at the sun. A world bathed in fire, on the cusp of night. A lotus pond sits before him, and a figure is at its edge—Aditya, adorned in gold, the perfect figure of a prince. He, a dream of glittering palaces and beady emeralds, bright against the glow of the setting sun, sharp against the bloody sky. He holds a lotus blossom out, and Yao takes it. It is pure, tender in his calloused hands. A drop of blood drips from a petal. He lets it float into the water, and Aditya watches with him as the peach pink petals drop before their eyes—the lotus head balloons, then falls with the weight of seeds; it withers, a shell of its fruit. Divine beauty is short lived—seasons turn with the winds of change.  

Aditya loops an arm around him, bare skin on bare skin, the warmth of the sun hanging around them like a curtain. Their lips meet. The kiss is long, and lingers even after Yao pulls away; it is slightly bitter, but how could it not be? Aditya’s eyes are like black tea, and Yao tastes acrid lily bulbs. The sky has faded into burnt orange, the aftermath of a blaze. Autumn leaves fall from ginkgo trees, golden yellow, bright with memories of the past. Aditya closes his eyes, and Yao watches him sink into a dream.

The scene shifts before his eyes. The lotus pond morphs into a giant chessboard, and they are on opposite sides. Aditya plays white. Cream colored pawns meet chocolate brown knights, and they watch as kings rise and fall, as steady as the spinning of the world. Chariots race and elephants trumpet; the cavalry fight with long swords and bows, and the peasants use polearms, raised fists. Yao meets Aditya’s eyes, warm but gleaming with an ambition that has never gone away. He nods to his neighbor to the west, to his rival, lover, partner, equal. Aditya smiles.

“So we meet again.”

———

It is afternoon, and the sun is warm on his face. Roshan sits on a bench in the courtyard, holding a cup of coffee in one hand, a pomegranate in the other. Aditya nestles into their side, and they give him a feather light cheek kiss, gift him a wisp of air. They hold out the pomegranate, offers it, and Aditya takes a bite. Roshan takes the other half. They watch as the fruit regrows, seeds become jewels, glittering rubies in folds of red fabric. Roshan holds one up to the light with a critical eye. They spread tawny wings, amber eagle eyes alight with the pride of the past present future. A lion and the sun. The wings disappear—a trick of the light, reality fallen away. Then they hold up the cup of coffee.

“For you.” Aditya smiles, and offers a cup of black tea in return.

We have shared many things, and fought over equally many. How will it be in the future? He takes a sip, and falls through the cup.

A cemetery of swords surrounds them, a memory of things gone by. Afternoon sunlight filters through the trees, winds into Roshan’s hair. Idly peaceful. Flowers sprout through the earth; wither; climb up the rusted metal once again. A vine of roses twists around the hilt of a ceremonial spear, supple and full against cool, glinting steel. The leaves flicker, green yellow dead green again. Its blossom is still fresh red, like passion, like their love, pooling around them like a million memories, a still night in the river of time. Aditya looks at Roshan, different yet the same, a reflection of what they once were. Familiar, always, despite the changing tides and shifting dreams.

———

Notes

this part might actually be longer than the fic itself rip 😔 reminder that there’s extra rambling on ao3 lol

Suona/sorna: suona (唢呐) is a traditional wind instrument often played at wedding and funeral processions in northern China! (also used in Southeast China + Taiwan) It’s very loud and has a super brassy sound, but personally I think it sounds alright! The instrument came from Central Asia and is also used at weddings in Iran (where it’s spelled sorna/sarna), where it’s played with a dohol, a large cylindrical drum.

Phoenixes: wedding imagery in China, where a dragon symbolizes the groom and the phoenix the bride. There’s also an analogue to the phoenix in Persian mythology, a simurgh, which is a benevolent creature that is said to purify the land, roosts in the Tree of Knowledge, and apparently has seen the world be destroyed 3 times. Can symbolize healing, divinity, wisdom, and life. (the simurgh symbolism doesn't have much relevance to the fic but I thought it was incredibly interesting to read about lol)

Spring dream: very loosely referencing the Chinese phrase 一场春梦 (yi chang chun meng), which literally translates to an episode of a spring dream. It means the feeling that past predictions or events were actually totally wrong and fruitless, like you expected something (probably really good), but then woke up to reality not being up to your expectations? I can’t translate 😔

Mirror of Fate: In traditional Iranian weddings, a large, elaborate table with flowers and food and different spices is set up (sofreh aghd). A mirror of fate and 2 candelabras are also placed in the center of the table. The mirror represents how fate brought the bride and groom together, and the candelabras represent light and fire. The mirror is there so that when the groom looks into it, the first thing he should see is his betrothed's reflection.

Lotus blossoms: in China and India and many other parts of Asia, lotuses represent purity (they grow from dark mud but the flowers are pure white/pink), the divine, elegance, spiritual promise, the good part of humanity. so, a lotus with a drop of blood in Yao’s hands would be interesting.

Lily bulbs: this is purely self projection but lily bulbs (baihe) are used in Chinese medicine and I despise them. They're not super bitter but they taste starchy, bland, and off. Also lilies and lotuses are pretty similar and I thought that would be interesting :>

Chess: idk if I need a note for this but chess originated as an Indian game called Chaturanga and spread over to China and Iran, among many other places in Asia.

Tea and Coffee: nothing really special about this besides that Iranians Really Like tea. Decided to make India drink coffee instead for contrast; realistically he’d also be drinking tea lol

Eagle eyes: the Iranian/Persian symbol of the Faravahar, from Zoroastrianism has wings that are supposed to be eagle wings (I think? correct me if it’s just unspecified). You’ve probably seen it; it depicts a man with spread wings, half kneeling in a side view. Nowadays it’s also a symbol of Iranian culture, history, and national pride, besides being representative of Zoroastrianism.

Rose: national flower of Iran, and obv I don’t need to explain the other rose connotations. Also I’ve fully adopted the hc that Roshan and all their stuff smells like roses so that’s there too.

Lion and the sun: getting lazy with the explanations, but the short version is that it was a very important Iranian national symbol for many reasons, moreso tied to the state than culture (imo); it was also on the national flag up till the 1979 Islamic Revolution. Although I’m still debating how much Roshan is associated with the state, I also think sun and lion imagery fits them (glory, golden days, pride and courage). It’s super interesting, go search it up if you wanna read more!

This whole fic was somewhat inspired by this one, and the indchu bit was also somewhat inspired by this fanart.

If you made it down here, you have all my gratitude. Feedback is welcome and appreciated! Thanks for reading <3

[artificialqueens]

Come Home to My Heart, Chapter 8 (Lemyanka) - Plastiquedoll

read on ao3 ✨| previous chapters

A/N: wow… I can’t believe there are only two chapters left after this one… that’s crazy. This little story is my baby now so I hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading it! <3

-8-

“Ouch!” Scarlett yelled as soon as Priyanka pinched her arm. “What was that for?”

“You’re friends with Lemon on Facebook? What the fuck?”

“Ah, yeah…” She rubbed her arm. “She befriended me a while ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? We live together.”

“I didn’t believe you’d mind and I thought she would add you too. I don’t know, I probably was high as fuck.” Scarlett sipped her Frappuccino.

“You, Kiara, and my mother back-stabbed me. I can’t believe it.”

“If it’s any consolation, she only posts pictures with her friends and when she’s at the dance studio… also, she spends an unhealthy amount of time rambling about The Sims.”

Seemed about right.

“I’m more worried about the pictures I appear as «tagged» on your page.”

“Yeah, you’re like a hot mess there.”

Priyanka and Scarlett went for a beverage that afternoon after stopping by the mechanical workshop to check on Priyanka’s car –it was still uncertain and the mechanic had ordered a few pieces that were supposed to arrive later that week- luckily her parents had lent her the family car for the afternoon.

Priyanka had ordered a strawberry smoothie but almost forgot about it. Her thoughts were somewhere else.

“Priyanka, are you there?” Scarlett called her.

“Yeah, sorry…”

“Girl, you’re like… gone.”

“What do you mean?”

“Uhm…”

Scarlett sat with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face. She had cut her hair recently and the tips of her blonde bob were perfectly symmetric, it was almost in discordance with her rock-star-punk-grunge aesthetic of ripped fishnets, piercings, and leather jackets but Priyanka knew her better, she was just a softie who had cried with The Little Mermaid.

Goddammit. Don’t you see the subtext of female liberation, Priyanka? She had said with tears in her eyes.

“Nothing… only that you’ve been distracted lately. How weird is it that this behavior coincides with the return of certain someone to your life? Odd, isn’t it?”

“Cut the sarcasm… I know what you’re implying. Lemon helped me out the other day only because that’s what any person would’ve done.”

“No, you’re overestimating human kindness. Trust me, spending your entire afternoon with someone to help them with their… how did she call it?”

“Jalopy.”

“I mean, accurate.” Priyanka stuck her tongue out. “What I’m saying is that’s a big gesture and you should take it as a white flag from her.”

“When you’re right, you’re right.”

“So… what are you going to do now?” Scarlett inquired.

“I have no idea… You’re the second person who said something like that. Denali thought she was provoking me the other night in the club –she’s out of her mind- but she also said that I should make the next move.”

“I agree.”

“But what if I make a fool of myself in the process?”

“That wouldn’t be a novelty.”

“Fuck you.”

Scarlett lighted up a cigarette.

Right at that moment, Boa walked out of the café with an Iced Americano in her hand, she spotted both girls sitting outside and approached them.

“Hey, you two! I was going to text you later today.” She greeted both of them.

“Hey, girl.” Scarlett waved.

“Hi, Boa! Nice to see you.” Priyanka hugged her.

“So listen, some of the girls –myself included- are planning a little day at that lake that’s like half an hour from here and since the more the merrier, maybe you’d want to join us.”

“Sounds cool. Do you have a date in mind?”

“We set Thursday but if any of you guys can’t we could change it.”

“No, I think Thursday is fine for all of us. Priyanka?”

Priyanka had her thoughts floating like a cloud.

“When you say «some of the girls»… you mean?”

“Tynomi, Kyne, me…” She began listing.

“Boa we’re looking for a name started with «L», five letters, common yellow fruit used often in the kitchen.” Priyanka elbowed Scarlett.

“Oh! Yeah… We’re trying to convince Lemon to go too. She wasn’t into the whole nature thing but…” She cleared her throat. “If we convinced some more people maybe she’d change her mind.”

“Great so we’ll be there.” Scarlett wrapped her arm around Priyanka. “Text me the details later.”

“Sure, see you on Thursday!”

“Bye…” Priyanka smiled and when the girl walked away, she immediately turned to Scarlett. “What was that?”

“«Thank you, Scarlett, you’re such a good friend» you’re very welcome, Priyanka.” She put out her cigarette. “I did what it had to be done.”

“I see… but what if Lemon doesn’t show up?”

“She will be there and even if she doesn’t we could still have a nice day on the lake or whatever. Jeez, do I need to give you a pep talk whenever we plan something?”

“We’ll need a car, I can’t borrow my parent’s car all week and you came here by bus. Can Juice drive us there?”

“Yeah about that… Juice broke up with me.”

Priyanka frowned. “I thought you guys weren’t dating.”

“We weren’t, that’s why she gave me an ultimatum.”

“And what did you tell her?”

“I said I’d think about it.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“She agrees with you, obviously.” Scarlett leaned back on the chair. “However, I never wanted to break her heart with promises I wasn’t sure I was going to fulfill. I never promised her more than what I gave and it worked for some time.”

“Until it didn’t…”

It wasn’t shocking for Priyanka, she had always known that Juice wanted more but Scarlett –being the stubborn she was- never was going to admit she felt the same way, instead, she acted reluctant whenever the idea of having a serious relationship was brought.

“Scarlett, are you sure this is what you want?”

“Listen, what’s the point of starting a relationship with someone who doesn’t live in the same city.”

“She lives literally half an hour from Toronto.”

“Besides, I don’t want to give my freedom away… I don’t see myself ready to be in a relationship and you can’t say anything, you haven’t dated anyone for more than three days.” Scarlett pointed.

“Well, you got me there but this isn’t about me… don’t you see it? You’re about to lose something real and why? Because you’re scared of admitting you want it too.”

Scarlett looked down. “She deserves better than me…” She whispered.

“You idiot, she doesn’t want better, she wants you and you alone.”

“I feel like you’re insulting me somewhere there but…”

“Scarlett, focus.”

“You’re right, okay? I’m scared, I don’t want to hurt her and I’m terrified I might be too stupid to make a mistake or something… and now I don’t know what to do, I’m not a romantic person, I know nothing about big gestures…”

“Maybe roses? Carriage rides? Singing songs under the starry sky?”

“Gross…” She paused. “maybe roses though.”

“You did set the bar very low so…”

“Oh, shut up.”

“C’mon, I’ll drop you at her house.”

After taking Scarlett back to Juice’s house for what hopefully meant there would be a reconciliation between them –Priyanka had her fingers crossed- in the meantime, she stopped by her brother’s house. She had promised one of her nieces she’d take her to rent some DVDs they would watch after dinner.

It took less than five minutes to lose her at the video store.

“Mel? Mel?!” She started looking around. “Where did you go?”

Priyanka heard her voice coming from one parallel aisle.

“You’re very pretty.”

“Aw, thank you…you’re very pretty too.”

Priyanka also recognized that voice.

“Are you lost?”

She felt undoubtedly relieved when she found her niece chatting with Lemon who had kneeled on the floor to be at the same height.

“What’s your name?” Lemon asked the little girl.

“I’m Melanie.”

“Nice to meet you, Melanie. I’m Lemon, like the fruit.”

“Nice to meet you… Miss Lemon.”

“Did you come here with your mom? With your dad?”

She shook her head. “With my auntie.”

“Ah, I see… What do you say if we look for your auntie?”

“She’s right there.” She pointed at Priyanka behind her.

Lemon turned around and met the brunette’s eyes.

“Oh. It’s you, auntie… I should’ve guessed.”

“The resemblance is uncanny, isn’t it?” Priyanka smiled proudly.

Lemon was wearing a yellow and white striped long dress with buttons in the front, white sneakers, and had her hair tied in a French braid.

“You really convinced your brother to name his daughter like two-fifths of the Spice Girls, didn’t you?”

Priyanka rushed and covered her niece’s ears. “Shhhh… He doesn’t know that yet. It took me seven of the nine months of my sister-in-law’s pregnancy to plant the idea… neither Ginger nor Emma were working, so it was down to Melanie or Victoria.”

Lemon chuckled.

The brunette released the little girl from her grip. “Mel, go pick the movie you like but stay close where I can see you, alright?”

The little girl nodded and skipped with joy toward the kids’ movie section.

Priyanka looked at Lemon. “What are you doing here?”

“Getting my nails done, obviously.” She had a DVD box in her hands.

Priyanka rolled her eyes. “Knowing you, it must be… let me see, either Legally Blonde, Clueless, something with Meg Ryan on it, or… Drop Dead Gorgeous.”

She showed the title on the box. It was Drop Dead Gorgeous, a movie Lemon worshiped for her love for beauty pageants and bizarre humor.

“Rita has never watched it, can you believe it?”

“And you’re looking for new ways to traumatize her.”

“That might be my mission on Earth all along, spread the words of wisdom that come from this film.” She tapped the box with her acrylic nails.

Priyanka peeped over her shoulder to check on her niece who was still deciding between two Disney movies.

“So… are you going to the lake thing Boa’s planning?” The brunette asked as casually as she could.

Lemon shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not that into nature and being eaten by bugs…”

“Oh, so she’s a city girl now.”

“Listen, I spent a good ten years of my life going camping with my dad and hating every second of it. I thought it was finally over when I moved.”

“The girls and I are going… and I’m sure we’re taking some type of booze with us, snacks, a campfire… It will be fun.”

Lemon tilted her head. “I didn’t know you wanted me to go.”

Priyanka felt the heat on her cheeks. “Boa said the more the merrier… plus my car is still at the workshop and Scarlett might have screwed up her relationship with the one person that has a car among us.”

“So you need a ride… that’s it?”

“Yeah… and it’ll be fun being all together again.”

“Sure… okay. I’ll tell Rita and we’ll be there.”

“Really?”

She nodded.

At that moment, Priyanka’s niece returned with a DVD of Brave in her hand.

“Are you dating my auntie Pri?” She asked unscrupulous and unfiltered like any six-year-old.

Priyanka’s mouth dropped to the floor.

“Mel! You can’t ask people… That’s not… You don’t get to…”

“But daddy said that you like girls and that if you were going to date someone it would be a girl… and she’s a girl.”

Logic.

Lemon covered her mouth with her hand, she was blushing underneath.

“Mel just because I’m talking to a girl it doesn’t mean that I’m dating her.”

“But she’s pretty… she’s prettier than you.”

“Oh, I like her.” Lemon giggled.

“Hey! You little brat, who’s the one renting movies with you.”

Traitors.

“Why aren’t you dating her, auntie Pri?” Priyanka covered the girl’s mouth.

She was asking the real questions.

“Okay, I think it’s time to go home. Brave, huh? Good choice.” She looked at Lemon. “See you on Thursday…?”

The blonde smiled. “I’ll pick you up.”

“Okay, great.”

“Goodbye, Priyanka. Bye, Mel.” She waved at them.

The girl barely had the chance to wave back since her aunt dragged her to the line of the checkout counter. She stared at Priyanka with her wide brown eyes.

“What is it?”

“You like her.” Mel said with a mischievous look on her face.

“Shhh… keep it low…” She looked around to check Lemon wasn’t around. “You can’t just say those things, Mel. Exposing people’s feelings isn’t right.”

“So you like her.”

“Jeez, calm down Regina George.”

“Who’s Regina Gorge?”

“It doesn’t matter… The thing is… Lemon and I are… friends? Just that, okay? We’ve known each other since we were your age and I don’t think she likes me that way.”

“Have you asked her?” Her niece inquired.

“Well, no…”

“Why not?”

“Because…” She was scared of the potential answer to that question. “It’s complicated… growing up is complicated.”

“I don’t want to grow up never.” She whined.

“Me neither.”

Priyanka took the DVD to register it and pay for it.

Brave, sure.

On Thursday morning, Priyanka received a call from Scarlett, she explained that things with Juice were smooth sailing and that –since they had left the problems aside- she was going to pick her at home. In the car, there were Juice, Scarlett, Kiara, Denali, and Priyanka whereas Lemon and Rita had relocated in a different car.

The day started on the wrong foot since that change in scheduling but Priyanka had the hope it could only get better from there. She had a full breakfast with her parents and then prepared her things in a backpack, including sunscreen, snacks, a towel, and things only her mom could remember to include –and that she yelled from downstairs to make sure Priyanka would remember.

Priyanka brushed her hair and tied it into a ponytail, then she put her turquoise bikini on –she liked how the color looked against her skin-, grabbed a pair of denim shorts with embroidered flowers and a white cotton tank top. She found a pair of aviator sunglasses on the drawer of her room that were definitely her sister’s –emphasis on the «were»- and with a pair of flip-flops, she was ready.

Boa had said that it was allowed to swim on the lake where the water was shallow and that there was a lifeguard just in case. The weather was in their favor, the day was all warm and sunny even when it started with a couple of clouds, it had cleared up since then. Her mother reminded her to take a light jacket with her because it could get colder during the evening.

Priyanka was about to argue with her when she heard the sound of the horn outside. She put the jacket on her backpack and said goodbye to her mom before opening the entrance door.

To her surprise, there was an egg yolk car parked in front of her house.

Lemon rolled down her window. “Get in loser, we’re going to a lake… for some reason.”

She had a pair of heart-shaped pink sunglasses resting on top of her head and a lollipop on her hand.

“What is this?”

“I told you I was going to pick you up.” She unlocked the passenger’s door.

Priyanka got in the car and buckled up. Her entire body was tingling.

“I thought you were sharing a car with the other girls.”

“Don’t change the plans I’ve already set, I’m a Virgo.”

“Don’t you have a bumper sticker with that written on it?”

“I’m glad someone has finally seen it.”

Priyanka threw her backpack on the backseat and noticed how empty it was.

“Wait, what about Rita? Wasn’t she coming with you?”

Lemon got the car moving.

“No, I pushed her down the stairs yesterday.” She said, dead serious. “I’m just kidding; I went to pick some things from Tynomi’s place, Kiara and she were speaking in French and got along well so she decided to go with them. Because of that, I have the trunk full with two coolers and their bags so –for their own good- I hope they gave me the right address.”

Just then it hit Priyanka it was just the two of them for the next half hour.

Lemon looked lovely with a yellow poplin puff-sleeve crop top with little lemons embroidered around the neckline and a pair of navy paper bag shorts. The strips of a bright yellow swimsuit could be seen underneath her clothes and she was driving with sneakers because driving with flip-flops is hell but overall the look screamed summer in the Italian Riviera with a glass of limoncello.

And well, Priyanka was gay and thirsty.

“Did you hear what I said?” Lemon asked raising an eyebrow when they stopped in a red traffic light.

“Something about music…?” It was a wild guess and she would be lying if she said her fingers weren’t crossed.

“Yes, can you put something on the radio?”

Priyanka scanned the CDs on the glove compartment and finally decided for the always great Good Girl Gone Bad –just because she wanted Shut Up and Drive to play while Lemon was driving- and because it had some iconic bops.

“Are you certain about the route we’re taking?” The brunette asked.

“What do you mean?” Lemon clicked her tongue. “I know how to follow directions. I also have a map… I’m a strong independent woman who needs no instruction on how to get to a stupid lake in the middle of nowhere-”

“Hello, my friend and I are lost; do you know which is the best way to get to the lake?” Priyanka had to pat herself on the back for that level of fake kindness, she even batted her lashes.

Lemon, on the driver’s seat, kept grumbling something in a low voice.

“Yeah, you’re almost there, it’s five minutes from here… you have to take the next entry to the left and then continue straight forward. You’ll be there in the blink of an eye.”

“Thanks, good man. We appreciate it.” She waved at the man at the gas station. Then she turned to Lemon. “You see? It wasn’t that difficult.”

“We were almost there.”

“Yes, except for the fact that we’ve been driving around in circles for the past fifteen minutes. I told you it was the right entry.”

Lemon huffed and puffed like a child.

Priyanka attempted to skip one of the songs but the blonde interfered by pushing her hand aside. Priyanka crossed her arms on her chest and pretended to be offended.

Just like the man had said, in no time they spotted the lake entrance.

Lemon sighed of relief while Priyanka cheered.

“Yay! We made it!”

Once they got closer, they agreed it was all worthy. The beautiful scenery of the lake with crystalline blue water framed by the rows of mountains covered in green and leafy pine trees left them in awe.

A figure waved at them –probably one of the girls- they were gathered in a small semicircle that resembled a beach with dirt and gravel next to a wooden port. There were other people around, families, some kids playing in the water, swimmers, boats, and canoes.

Lemon parked the car in an empty spot among others, some of the girls helped them with the coolers and the bags that were on the truck.

“Good night, ladies.” Scarlett mocked.

“You two finally made it.” Boa grabbed one of the coolers with the other girl’s help.

Priyanka was about to say something about their delay in the same joking tone but she caught a glimpse of Lemon, she was serious, noticeably embarrassed by the situation. So instead, she cackled and played it down.

“Yeah, can you believe I told her the wrong entry on the highway? Lemon almost killed me we were spinning around for like fifteen minutes, right?” She looked at the blonde and subtly winked.

“Ah, yeah…” Lemon’s eyes were big just like a deer caught in headlights, the tips of her ears turned red just like her cheeks. “But we’re here… so… it doesn’t matter.”

“Priyanka you dumbass, we’ve come this way before.” Scarlett nagged her.

“Oh, shut up… I forgot.” She picked her backpack and threw it over her shoulder. Lemon hadn’t moved. “Hey, let’s go. We have all day ahead.”

The blonde nodded and locked the car before following them to the port.

The view was even more breathtaking up close as the sunlight shone onto the waters of the lake, it also glinted on the gold rims of Priyanka’s glasses and bathed her completely in a warm sensation.

They were received with cheers –especially since they have the food on the coolers and it was almost noon-, she saw Kiara applying some suntan oil and chatting with Rita and Starzy over a small wooden harbor, as soon as Scarlett and Boa arrived with the cooler, the blonde started an argument with Ilona over the best way to ensemble a tent –and repeatedly called each other “sis”-, Kyne, Tynomi and Juice ignored them and started setting a grill.

“You didn’t have to lie to cover my blunder.” Lemon whispered.

“I know.” Priyanka stretched her arms. “I figured you’ve suffered enough for one morning. If you’re feeling generous you can get me a drink or something in return.”

Lemon scoffed. “Get it yourself.” She started walking to where Rita, Starzy, and Kiara were but before she was further in distance, she turned around. “Thank you, though.”

Priyanka smiled at her and then went to help the other girls with the food. They entrusted her washing the vegetables at some gazebo nearby with a little kitchen and a sink. Tynomi helped her peeling and cutting once she was done and then they prepared the skewers. Scarlett’s pyromania was helpful to light the fire, although the flame that rose in the air caused quite a fuss.

Right when Priyanka put the last skewer on the trade for Tynomi to take it to the grill, a paper cup with pink lemonade and ice appeared in front of her, Lemon held it steadily.

“Oh, hey there.” Priyanka took a sip, it was sweet and it had something that kicked in. “Thank goodness this has alcohol on it.”

“It’s vodka, careful with the empty stomach, though.”

“Signature cocktail?”

Lemon shrugged. “I guess it falls into the category of colorful and sugary.”

“I don’t know if it’s because it’s hot as fuck but this is actually delicious.”

“Of course it’s delicious, I made it.”

“That’s obvious; you can taste the modesty on it.” Lemon made a childish grimace. “Have you jumped in the water yet?”

“I just soaked my feet for a little.”

“And?”

“Cold like a penguin’s butt.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

Lemon took the cup back and drank a sip, her lip gloss stained the material. She kept biting her bottom lip as if she wanted to say something but she sneaked out to help Boa with something when Priyanka wasn’t looking.

In that part of the lake it was allowed to camp and there were several tents set around the land, there were also a couple of forest rangers roaming around –probably attracted by the fake fire alarm- but the girls had been clever enough to keep the bottles saved in the coolers.  They all ate vegetable skewers and hamburgers sitting in a big circle and drank beer and cranberry vodka in paper cups.

Someone had brought a radio and they all sang Stars Are Blind when it played. After having lunch they stayed there reminiscing and telling stories from school. They were all laughing and cracking jokes it took Priyanka by surprise when the story of her seven minutes in heaven was brought.

“More like seven minutes in hell.” She gagged.

She re-told the story for those who hadn’t heard it and then realized that Lemon was among those people. The blonde hadn’t said a word since she started her narration, in fact, she paid attention to every word that came out of her mouth. She didn’t laugh when Priyanka tried to minimize she kissed a guy she didn’t want to kiss or when she tried to use the humor as a shield as she had done before.

“What an asshole.” She said when the brunette finished the story. She was angry and it showed. She was so mad she had sobered up.

“Yeah… but on the bright side… that helped me realize things. It was enlightening, I dare to say… even when that closet was dark as fuck.”

“Still… I hope he chokes or something.” Lemon was fuming.

Later on, Ilona exposed Scarlett who had claimed to be in detention many times in high school when she was just in the library, studying. Even when she tried to argue, Priyanka caught her friend sitting right next to Juice as she tenderly held her and stroked her hand with her thumb. She assumed things were alright with them now and couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous of what they had.

Vodka, it’s me… I have seen what you did for others…

Lemon told a story about one time she got lost in the subway with their friends and they almost ended in Staten Island –Priyanka refrained from commenting on the fact that Lemon wasn’t good at following indications, indeed- and Denali, the only non-Canadian of their panel discussion mentioned it had happened to her as well.

“I’ll be in New York for a competition in a few months.”

“You should come to visit me.” Lemon smiled brightly.

“That would be fun… Priyanka could come as well.” She stared at the brunette who gaped at her in surprise. “And tell me, do you have any single friend?”

“I’ve got some… yeah. I could make some arrangements.”

“I’d love that.”

“Slut-Nali.”

“Proudly.”

Later during the afternoon, some of the girls were brave enough to try to dive in the shallow waters of the lake, Priyanka among them, and, she regretted the moment her body made contact with the glistening surface but once her body was fully immersed it was like a shot of adrenaline in her body.

She surely looked like she had seen a ghost when she emerged because Lemon laughed loudly at her. The blonde was cozily sunbathing on the shoreline at an unsafe distance for someone mocking the swimmers.

Priyanka moved her arms toward her.

“Don’t you dare… Priyanka, I swear to God if you even try-”

The cold droplets touched her skin before she could finish that sentence.

The blonde squirmed and squealed.

“Bitch…” She shook the water off her body.

“Who’s laughing now?” She moved like a fish in the water.

“You won’t be laughing when you need your towel to get out.” Lemon waved it like a flag.

“Listen, you…” Priyanka started walking out of the water, the other girl was already running.

It was way colder out of the water and it took the brunette a minute to get used to, get her flip flops, and chase after Lemon who still had her towel on her hands. She hid behind Rita and stuck her tongue out, the girl caught in the middle raised her hands in a sign of rendition. They were like a couple of kids. Priyanka was about to say something when Scarlett and Juice came near them.

“Hey, we rented a boat over there and we were wondering if you would like to come with us.” Juice grinned.

“I pass, I’m not going on a boat ride with these two.” Rita pointed at them, Lemon was still looking over her shoulder.

“Pri, Lemon? What about you?”

“Sure… it would be fun, as soon as this bitch gives me my towel back.” Priyanka cast an accusing glance at the blonde.

Lemon threw the towel directly to her face.

“What’s so thrilling about a boat ride?” She asked while Priyanka wrapped herself in the towel.

“You said the same about coming here today and yet you’re having a good time, right?” Lemon shrugged. “C’mon, I’m not going to push you in the water or something.”

“Now I know for a fact that you’ll try to push me into the water.”

“Are you possibly scared?” She taunted.

“I’m not scared of a boat if that’s what you’re saying.”

“It’s settled then, we’ll meet you in five minutes over the pier where the boats are moored.” Scarlett grabbed Juice’s hand and they walked away.

Priyanka put her shorts and sunglasses on; she grabbed her bag and hung it over her shoulder. She checked on Lemon when she was done putting clothes on too.

“Ready?”

The blonde hesitated for a moment. “I guess.”

“Listen, there’s really nothing to be scared of, we’ll get life jackets and everything.”

“That’s not- Never mind.” She shook her head and grabbed her things. “Let’s go.”

Juice and Scarlett were already waiting for them with their life jackets on, they explained to the girls how to put them on.

“You two get in the boat and we’ll untie the knots and push it in the water.” Scarlett indicated.

The boat was made of wood and painted in white with matching paddles, the name Perseverance was written in blue on one of the sides.

Lemon sat first and she helped Priyanka to get in.

“Did you know it’s bad luck to change a boat’s name?” She told Priyanka. “It’s said they always sink if you do.”

“We should double-check this isn’t repainted or something underneath, right?”

“Why? Are you scared?” Lemon mocked.

Priyanka elbowed her.

Juice was done with the knot and she jumped in the water to help Scarlett.

“Okay, one, two… three.” They pushed the boat that swayed a little with the waves before stabilizing.

“Have fun you two!” Juice waved at them.

“Wait…” It took Priyanka a moment before understanding what was going on. “Hey!”

“Oh my God…”

The girls behind were cackling as the boat was carried further by the water stream.

“I think we’ve been set up.”

“There might be a chance, yeah.”

Scarlett mouthed a soft «Sorry» but Priyanka knew she wasn’t regretting anything. This had to be planned beforehand and she had a vague idea what the point was. She stared at Lemon who had picked up one of the paddles and was examining it.

“Do you think we can go back?”

“I doubt that we can row against this current.” She declared after taking a look at how the water kept taking them away from the coast. “Our best chance is to let it drag us down to calmer waters where we can paddle from to the closest coast.”

“You really learned a few scout things when you were camping with your dad, didn’t you?”

“Aren’t you glad I did?” She smirked.

Certainly, Priyanka was glad because at least one of them had a clue of what to do and how to get them out of that situation but, at the same time, it meant that they were going to be stuck for a while in that boat.

As they started moving away from the coast, the silhouettes of his friends became blurry and they were surrounded by the vast scenery of the mountains and the woods. The sun was lukewarm and the little waves rocked the boat like a cradle, it was soothing.

Priyanka laid on the floorboards and looked at the clouds crossing the sky. Lemon watched the water around the boat to eventually join the brunette.

“This is nice,” Priyanka whispered. “I think it’s the longest we’ve been without arguing or bitching.”

Lemon chuckled. Priyanka looked at her and could see every detail of her face, the curve of her lips the little mole over them, the tip of her nose, the length of her lashes, the color of her eyes…

Suddenly she felt shy.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that I can be an annoying bitch sometimes but you’re the one person that’s always there for me…” Lemon murmured.

Priyanka’s cheeks turned red. “What?”

“That’s the first line of the last e-mail I wrote for you after we… drifted apart.”

“I never received it.”

“I never sent it.” She fidgeted nervously. “I don’t know if it would have made any difference, you seemed pretty determined to me.”

So they were going to talk about it. It was the conversation neither of them had brought up for the longest time but it was there, lingering in the air like a dark cloud of unsolved problems.

“I needed to put some distance between us…” Priyanka felt the unavoidable knot on her throat like whenever someone touched the subject. “I wasn’t being honest with you… I was scared. You had these plans that didn’t include me in your future, I felt like I was being left out while my plans always included you.”

“Priyanka, I had to move forward to survive… Yes, I met new people, I made new friends and I set new goals but you were never out of the picture. It was difficult for me because I don’t know, you were always the one that everyone liked instantly and you made friends in a heartbeat without even trying it. Your friends were our friends because of that but when I was on my own… I feel like I’m more an acquired taste, people tend to like me better when they know me but until then…”

She sighed.

“I had these problems that seemed small in proportion and I didn’t want to become a burden for you, being so far away from each other. I just wanted to share the good parts. You were the only thing in my life that felt like a constant and then… you were gone.”

She looked at Lemon in the eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ve ever apologized for that. And just for the record, small problems, big problems… I should’ve been there for you no matter what. Back in the day, I don’t know… it’s not an excuse but I felt like it was easier to push you away and that you got to live a life without me at some point.”

“Why?” Lemon frowned.

“I don’t know.” Priyanka lied. “I didn’t want to be a burden either.”

“I’m sorry, too. I didn’t know what to expect when I saw you here but, these last couple of days I realized how much I had missed you. I wrote that in the e-mail too, I wish I had sent it.”

Priyanka’s heart skipped a beat.

“Me too.” The brunette spoke clearly. “I’m freaking proud of you and everything you’ve achieved… What I’ve heard because I didn’t befriend your New York friends on Facebook to find out.”

“They were my friends too. I didn’t add them only to stalk you or something like that. And, for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing amazing too… aside from that car of yours.”

“Laugh all you want but I bought that car to go visit you in New York someday.”

Lemon sat straight on the boat. “You were going to drive all the way there in that to visit me? That counts as risking your life, you know?”

“Well… yeah… that was the idea. I wanted to see you.” Priyanka sat down as well.

“Pri…”

“And you only came back for your dad’s wedding… why did you come back now? After so long?”

“My dad’s wedding was… an event. It would’ve been fun to have you there though, there was so much booze.”

“They can always renew their vows.”

Lemon laughed. “Well, and as I told you before, my mom was going on a cruise ship so I wanted to visit everyone here. The fact that it coincided with your visit was mind-blowing for me too.”

“Were you mad?”

“Yes, I was fuming.”

They both started laughing at loud.

“I’m not going to lie I did want to start a fight that day in the dining… and later on the club… and on the cereal aisle…”

Priyanka threw water from the lake at the girl’s face.

“Hey! Don’t!” Lemon shook her head. “I think it got on my eyes wait…”

“Oh no, sorry… I didn’t mean to…”

Priyanka got closer but at that moment the other girl counterattacked with some more water.

“Bitch…”

“You deserved it.” She cleaned some drops. “But I think it really got on my eyes, can you hand me my bag.”

Priyanka’s face was still wet but she did as she asked.

“Shit, my contact lenses are falling.” She looked through her bag until she found the container.

“Do you need help with that?”

“No, just a second…” She removed both contact lenses and saved them back. “Better.”

“I’m over here.” Priyanka mocked.

“Fine… I can’t see beyond my hand.”

“I know that.”

“Could you get me my glasses? They are there, somewhere…”

“Yeah, let me…”

Lemon’s bag had lip gloss, sunscreen, candy… transparent frame glasses.

“Here.” She put them in her hand.

“Don’t make fun of me.” She mumbled. “I never wear these in public…”

“Lemon, I’ve known you for ages I do remember how you look like with glasses on.”

Priyanka took them back and opened the temples before placing them gently on the blonde’s face. She adjusted the nose pads above her nose and removed some hairs out of her face.

“There,” She looked proud of her work. “See, nothing less than stunning.”

Lemon had a beaming smile on her face, she’d never look bad with or without glasses on.

She didn’t realize how close they were until Lemon batted her lashes. She could’ve kissed her right there but instead, she just moved away with her pulse running wild and her face feeling hot and no sunshine to blame for it.

The blonde extended her little finger as a white flag. “Are we good?”

Priyanka sighed with relief. “Best friends forever.” She sealed the pinky promise.

However, the word «friends» tasted bitter on her tongue.

“That’s right.” She was still holding their fingers together. “Priyanka and Lemon, Lemon and Priyanka.”

“You won’t happen to have something to eat in that bag of yours, will you?”

“I think I packed some Oreos this morning.”

“You’re my hero.”

It was almost sunset by the time they got back to the coast and they still had to border the lake to get back where the other girls were. Nonetheless, the setting of the sun was a spectacle they watched in awe as the daytime ended with the sun’s departure.

It was starting to get cold and Priyanka was the only one who had brought a jacket so she lent it to Lemon –it looked a bit oversized but she still looked good on it.

They walked for a little before meeting the rest of the group, luckily the place was fully enlightened and they had made sure they hadn’t gone too far to lose sight of the camping area. The other girls welcomed them back with a big cheer, some of them were already setting a little fire to toast marshmallows and sing songs with a guitar.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Lemon headed to the public toilet while Priyanka joined the circle around the bonfire.

“So…” Denali sat next to her right away. “How did that go?”

“You knew.” Priyanka crossed her arms on her chest. “I can’t believe it, y’all helped to orchestrate this stunt.”

“…maybe. But it was for a good cause.”

“Which one?”

“Getting you a girlfriend.”

Priyanka rolled her eyes.

“I swear…”

“What happened over there?” Scarlett, Kiara, and Juice surrounded her like a group of teenagers.

“She doesn’t want to spill the details.”

“That’s because nothing happened and you should mind your own business.”

“What do you mean nothing happened? You two were there for like two hours.”

“We did talk about why we first fought and other things but it’s nothing close to what you think so you should drop it. I’m being serious right now.” She cleared her throat. “Lemon and I are friends… that’s it. Don’t try to push it further because it’s not going to happen.”

It was clear at that point that fixing their friendship was more important than risking her feelings; maybe she could tell Lemon one day and they could laugh about it just like they had done earlier but, at that moment, things were very recent and fragile to drop any more information into the mix. Priyanka wanted to have her on her life and she wasn’t going to lose her best friend over some unrequited love she had.

If she had dealt with it most of her life, she surely could do it again.

The girls protested but they sat back in their places. Lemon joined them shortly after, she sat next to Priyanka, the sleeves of her jacket looked like sweater paws on her.

“Hey, do you mind going back with the girls? I was talking to Rita and she’s kind of tired so I’m going home with her.”

“Oh, sure. No problem. Is she alright?”

“Yeah, just tired and maybe sunburn. I don’t want to drive when it’s too late either.”

“Alright. Are you still coming to dinner with my family? My mom said she’ll be waiting for you.”

“Saturday, right? I’ll be there.” She smiled. “I’m really glad we got to talk today, Pri.”

“Me too.”

She hugged her Lemon before she left; the blonde then greeted everyone else.

Priyanka watched in silence as the yellow car left the park.

Her heart shrunk, this was the right thing to do, they were friends again, and yet… she felt empty inside.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 81

Here we have a bit of fluff mixed in with our main plot. I really enjoy when I have the chance to mix life in with everything else going on, and for this chapter I was able to sprinkle some Maverick and Tyche interaction as well.

Only real trigger warning for this chapter is food, which I am seriously considering just applying to the entire story.  In my real life, family and love revolve around feeding people, so I know that gets threaded everywhere when I write.

I snagged my sister on the way out of Xiomara’s office.  “Hey.” My tone was soft, out of concern for the face I had seen her making earlier when she mentioned Antoine.  “Is everything okay?”

She didn’t even look at me, just opened her datapad and started typing. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she responded tersely. “Just busy, and honestly I’m a little irritated that Xiomara is going to leave us in the dark about this.” She sighed and shoved a hand through her short-cropped hair.  “You know I hate not knowing.”  Closing her datapad, she sighed and finally looked at me.  Her jaw was clenched tightly and her gaze was so intense that I felt like she was trying to communicate with me telepathically.  “It’s Wednesday.  How do you feel about fish? I could really go for those tacos you make, with tilapia.  Especially now that I can eat them with that mandarin habanero salsa you always moan over.”

I felt the corner of my mouth quirk up at her request. I loved fish tacos, and with the technology on board? It was no longer a labor, and instead was a treat. However, I fully understood the message she was giving me:  Antoine would not be at dinner.  He despised tilapia, and actually referred to it before as ‘fish for people too lazy to use tofu’. 

Also, it was Monday.  She even told me, that morning, how she hates Mondays.  Something was up.

“Yeah, fish tacos sound great.  I’ll even teach you how to make the salsa.”  Instead of even trying to smile, I bit my bottom lip, scrunched my nose, and nodded.  It was a gesture I did whenever she and I were plotting something fun, and no fake emotions were required.

She and I parted just as Maverick stepped over from his conversation with Arthur. “What was that about?” he asked casually.

I tried to wave it off. “Oh, Tyche had a request for dinner tonight.”

Every effort I put into keeping my tone light had been in vain. “It’s Monday, and a certain person hates your fish tacos, because of the fish you use.”  At least he kept his tone equally light.

I shrugged. “Pretty sure she actually knows that, but still.  Do you mind if she comes over?” The question was sincere, despite knowing that he was well aware something was going on.

He laughed at the question. “Of course I don’t mind.  Conor has a late shift, so he won’t be home for dinner anyway.  We can totally manage three people on a Monday.”

“Why is he working so late?” I was honestly confused by this one. “He works Alpha this week, doesn’t he?”

“He does. But they are finally rebuilding the platforms in BioLab 2, and he wants to be present to ensure that there’s not a repeat.”

I sighed, but understood. Conor tended to blame himself for any failure of anything he was even somewhat-adjacent to.  Being in love with him definitely showed me my own tendency to take on too much responsibility.  Which was exactly why I had allowed Maverick and Tyche to convince me to hand our suspicions about the cult over to Xiomara and let her handle it. Bouncing up onto my toes, I gave him a quick kiss.  “Speaking of work and shifts, we still have half of our own to knock out.  I’ll see you tonight.”

He grinned as I brushed a lock of hair out of his face - he really needed a haircut, but it was so soft. “Fish tacos? Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Somehow I managed to focus for the next five hours, taking care of thankfully-small agenda items.  Work assignment swaps, housing transfers, and the never-ending list of suggestions and requests for social activities.  Someone really seemed to believe knife-throwing classes would be a hit. Let’s table that for now.  Admittedly I was intrigued, so it would probably be brought up at dinner, just to get some feedback.

I made it to my quarters with just enough time to shower, shouting to Maverick the list of ingredients we needed to make everything.  As much as I wanted to linger - I had finally managed to use the actual shower instead of the sonic scrubber as of a week ago - I had a feeling Tyche needed me more.  I did, at least, remember to put the oil she insisted on in my hair, although she still rolled her eyes when she came in.

“Your hair is a mess, as usual,” she grumbled.  Without hesitation, she grabbed the end of a longer section and held it in front my eyes.  “Oil goes on the tips first, dork.  That’s the old part, so it’s the driest.”

Maverick smirked as he brought over all the ingredients we needed, and I just shrugged. “I at least remembered to put it in there.”

“Will miracles never cease,” she agreed, grabbing a knife and the server of fish filets.  “Maverick, can you heat the oil please? One-seventy-five.”

“One-ninety,” I corrected.  “They’ll never crisp up that low.  One-seventy-five is for the shells.”

“Right,” she nodded, absentmindedly.  I was starting to worry about her using that knife.  However, she seemed entirely aware that she was distracted, because she never put her fingers near the blade. She very carefully held the knife by the handle, with her hand flat on the back of the blade.

I started mixing the spices and flour together, before moving on to shredding the cabbage.  “Miys, please restrict monitoring of my quarters to medical-only, override strictly keyed to myself and Tyche Reid.”

“Understood, Wisdom.  Please remember that restriction is limited to four hours.”

“Thank you, Noah. Can you advise me of the ending of the restriction?”

“Of course.”

A glance over my shoulder showed an approving nod from Maverick.  When I looked back at Tyche, she was wide-eyed.  “Did you really just do that?”

All I could do was snort. “Of course I did.  Clearly you’re worried about Antoine, and you wanted to discuss it in private without him present.  He has medical access to room logs, as I’m sure you’re aware, especially since he’s listed as my primary medical provider on board.  Not recording anything means there is nothing for him to hear, and he’s already aware that we were talking to Xiomara about the cult today, so we can easily say we discussed that.  In fact, I just said it, so it’s not even a lie.”

She sliced the final fillet into strips, scooped them up, and dropped them in the breading with a sigh.  “Thank you.”

Maverick cleared his throat gently.  “Oil’s getting hot….  Tyche, would you be more comfortable if I needed to get more tortillas from the commissary?”

That, at least, got a smile out of her.  “I appreciate the offer, but not only is it okay for you to be here, that is the dumbest excuse you could probably think of.”

“Hey, it was short notice,” he winked at her. “Conor is better at those kind of excuses.”

I pitched my voice low enough to croak. “Oi, I forgot to tell Charly when to be on site tomorrow.  She never wears her databand off work… I’ll be right back.”

“See? That is a much better excuse.” Tyche laughed before turning serious again. “But, no. I need both of your opinions, and Conor’s, too, when you get a chance to talk to him.” She started gently tossing the sliced fish in the coating.  “Antoine has been… off, lately.  Quieter than usual, things are always coming up at the last minute that keep him gone for long periods of time…. Don’t get me wrong, I like my me-time, but I’m starting to get worried.  As weird as it is to use the term in our relationship, he’s been distant.” She stopped, hands limp in the bowl, head down.

“Hug or no hug?” I asked, stepping around the counter.

“No hug.” She shook her head firmly.

I snagged the bowl of fish instead and started dropping it in the oil. “Okay. So, are we worried he’s having an affair, just losing interest….?”

She moved to the sink to wash her hands. “That’s the thing.  I’ve thought and thought and thought about it… You know how I over plan stuff.  And, really, it all kind of goes back to when we first started noticing people behaving suspiciously.” She may have been scrubbing her hands more vigorously than strictly necessary, but that was a good sign.

For what felt like an eternity, the only sound in my kitchen was sizzling oil.  Maverick recovered first.  “Tych.  Sweetie, do you… You think he’s mixed in with all that?”

“I don’t know,” she moaned, more irritation than fear. The nail brush clattered in the sink.  “The timing is just weird as hell.”

I scooped the first batch of fish out and dropped the next, careful not to gesture with the spider strainer and flick hot oil everywhere. “Okay, so.  Let’s start at the worst case scenario. Say Antoine is involved with this cult.  The suspected leader is a survivalist with very Norse-oriented leanings, who thinks that we are moving from Ragnarok to our new beginning.  Yes, they are antisocial enough for the two of us,” I pointed emphatically between myself and my sister, “to think they are going a wee bit overboard.  But, what percent probability is there that Antoine will actually stick with a group of people that rude?”

She tipped her head side to side with a grimace.  “He spent the End holed up in a senior care facility and robbing people for heart medication.  I’m going with ten percent?”

“So, statistically possible, and we have a baseline probability.”  I took a deep breath. “In that vein, this also started after the thing with Else. Which, I want to remind y’all, involved him butting heads with his direct superiors, putting me in a couple of comas, trying to figure out what a delirious Grey was trying to say - filtered through a couple of non-medical people, all while sick himself.”

“So he may just be exhausted?” Maverick asked for clarification.

“Or fed up,” I shrugged.

She nodded reluctantly, snatching the strainer to take out the second batch of fish before I burned them. “Even conservatively, that’s more in the eighty-to-ninety range.  Either of them, really.  I doubt he expected to sign on as a sidekick to the Futuristic Winchester Sisters.”  After adding the next batch to the oil, she groaned. “Fuck. This means I have to actually confront him, doesn’t it?”

I smirked involuntarily and started dicing onions for the salsa.  When I grabbed the cilantro, she complained but relented when she saw it was maybe a teaspoon worth, diced fine.  “It’s either ask him, or go by faith that the most likely outcome is the correct one.”  I reached for the next ingredient.

“Cucumber?” She scrunched her nose. “In salsa?”

“Balances out the strong flavors,” I clarified.  After mixing everything together, I set half of it to the side and grabbed two whole habaneros. After trimming out the stems, I started dicing them.

“You have got to be joking,” Maverick begged. 

“Nope,” I popped. “The recipe has four habaneros, so for half it’s only two.”

“But.  The seeds too?  Aren’t they the spicy part?”

“Nah.  That’s the membranes,” Tyche piped up.  “Even I know that, and I couldn’t eat this stuff for decades.”

“Just tell me you left some mandarin pieces for me?” He gave an impressively good puppy-dog eye.

I just laughed.  “Babe, you’re fine, I swear.  I had you get a double batch, so there’s plenty left for you to eat later.”

All the breath in my lungs was forced out in a whoosh as he whirled me around. “You are psychic, and I love youuu!”  My squeals and their laughter drowned whatever worries we had for the night, leaving us all breathless as we finished dinner.

Crisis after crisis? Bring it on. I wasn’t trading this moment for any world. 

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[claudelethtangled]

Chapter 9 - Speaking of the Goddess // [Ao3 link]

Three days later, Claude mentally berated himself as he led Byleth around to the gardens out back. The birds were singing softly in the early dawn light, the trees swaying in the wind. It was the only quiet moment the inn had on a daily basis, and he had specially woken Byleth up to bring her out to enjoy it. He could barely believe himself.

The plan had been to use Leonie and Raphael’s loud and overbearing natures to force Byleth into choosing somewhere else to stay, at which point Claude would suggest that the only safe place for a pair of fugitives—that wasn’t filled with the same sort of people—was outside the kingdom. But she has taken the maelstrom of people in stride better than he had when he first got involved with them. From the chaotic meals to helping with the myriad of chores, she had fallen into step with Claude as if she’d spent her life dodging high-born egos and high-strung housemates.

Which wasn’t to say he left her completely at their mercy: that would be cruel no matter how well she was adapting. It was only humane for him to sneak her off for picnic lunches to escape the inn; even he needed that break from the others after spending so long on his own. No one should have to deal with Lorenz all day long, and it gave Claude a chance to show off his cooking skills and use supplies. His spices were going to go stale if he didn’t use them soon.

In fact, he had logical explanations for every moment he took her away from the people he was supposed to let her run from…

…Except for why he was bringing her to the gardens to meet Marianne.

Blue hair shining in the sun, her dark dress blending in with the shrubs, the woman in question was sitting with on one of the stone benches when Claude rounded the corner. She was so intent on the book in her lap that she didn’t notice she had visitors. Byleth stopped abruptly when she saw the other woman, and took a step back as she looked around with a touch of unease. Marianne certainly looked peaceful, with the birds at her feet and the flower petals drifting over her skirt; Claude could see why Byleth would be hesitant to intrude. He felt a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth, but he took Byleth’s hand in his and drew her forward all the same.

“You haven’t met all of the Golden Deer, yet,” Claude said in response to her unasked question, even as she let him steer her towards the bench. “You’ll like her. Trust me.”

Marianne stood when she caught sight of them, her eyes only a little wide as she shut her book and tucked it into a pocket hidden in her full skirt. For the first time since he’d known her, she didn’t have sleepless circles darkening her eyes, nor did she have an expression of defeat. She was still looking at Byleth as if she was potentially dangerous, but at least she was looking up. She hadn’t even tried to run away, either. Claude could only shake his head, and tried to keep the disbelief out of his expression.

To think he had considered Leonie with long hair to be the most drastic change.

Neither woman spoke, nor would they meet the others gaze. Marianne was looking at Byleth’s collar, and Claude was pretty sure Byleth was staring at Marianne’s braids. They stood in silence for so long that Claude briefly entertained the notion of counting down the amount of time it would take for one of them to speak up; it would probably last until lunch. But he took pity on them when they looked to him at the same time, clearing his throat to hide the smile that he still couldn’t get rid of.

“Marianne, this is Sunshine. Sunshine, Marianne.”

“Ignatz was right.” Marianne was the first to speak after the introduction, giving a slight bow with her hand over her heart as she smiled shyly. “You are beautiful.”

Byleth nodded in response, her eyes softening in that just-perceptible way that was becoming familiar to Claude since they had arrived at the inn. After a moment she mumbled a faint thank you, and mimicked Marianne’s bow before the two women returned to staring at each other.

“…So what were you reading?” Claude asked, before the awkward silence could set in too badly. “New book?”

“Yes, it’s the Goddess’s wisdom.” Marianne nodded solemnly, and she pulled the leather-bound book from her pocket. “A collection of tales to teach and encourage.”

“Ah, I should have guessed that’s what you would be reading.”

“Claude that’s not—”

“I didn’t know the goddess was for everyone.”

Byleth spoke the interruption quietly and without inflection, yet the conversation evaporated as surely as if she had just insulted the Saints with a bar-room brawler’s choice vocabulary. Marianne and Claude turned to look at her as she reached out to touch the book with a hesitant hand. Her fingers rested against the cover as if she was reassuring herself it was real. Her brows were pulled together in the barest frown.

“My mother never…I thought…”

Claude’s stomach dropped. His temperature followed suit, and he even got a little light-headed. It was a feeling uncomfortably similar to his first time on the back of a wyvern, when it had decided to dive for the ground without his input. Unlike his wyvern though, words didn’t have reigns on them he could pull to regain control. There was no explaining what had just been said. Everyone knew the goddess. Everyone worshipped the goddess. Byleth’s comment was a glaring error in the carefully hinted-at-but-never-explained background he had built for her to keep her from suspicion, because no one was a non-believer in the kingdom.

At least not openly.

Marianne wouldn’t be able to pursue them, so all he needed was to get to the barn and the horses before Leonie and Lorenz got word that something wasn’t right with Byleth—she was already on thin ice with Leonie because she had never heard of King Jeralt, and Lorenz would be delighted to take Claude down a few notches. He just needed a head start and everything would go back to plan.

Every excuse he could think of on the tip of his tongue, Claude was already reaching for Byleth’s hand when Marianne smiled.

“Of course the Goddess is for everyone.” With all the softness she usually saved for injured animals, Marianne offered the book to Byleth. “Would you…would you like to read with me? The Goddess can be for you too.”

And just like that, the world started turning normally again as Byleth nodded and followed Marianne to the bench.

Leaning back against a nearby tree as he watched them, Claude silently let out his breath and drew it back in as he tried to calm his nerves. Somehow the gaffe had escaped notice, with Marianne misconstruing it to mean that Byleth had somehow been denied access to the goddess; her ignorance was being seen as something to be pitied instead of suspected. Claude smiled wryly. He really needed to remember that not everyone had grown up looking over their shoulder with one eye.

The sun picked out threads of white-green amidst Byleth’s blue-dyed hair, and made Marianne’s match the morning sky. Their heads close together, framed by the gardens and shaded by the arching branches, the two women were almost painfully picturesque as they read together amidst the flowers. It was something that Ignatz would love to paint, given the chance.

Not that Claude was going to give it to him. Instead, he sat down at the base of his tree and settled himself in the grass. Claude didn’t know what Byleth’s mother had told her about the goddess, but he knew it couldn’t have been good. If his suspicions were correct, it couldn’t have been anything close to good.

Byleth deserved the concept of a goddess that was there for her, and not the other way around.

[thelimeonade]

“You deserve better...”- ♠

[Warning: Contains reference to abuse, violence, toxic relationships, partially-forced sex, alcohol and some drug consumption and suicide attempts. Do not proceed if this triggers you.]

I should be offline

but...

I’m finally brave enough to do this – to speak up about what has happened to me and what is happening to other girls\ boys around me, what might happen to people who don’t expect it.

I pray that whoever reads it is armed by hope from my words, strength to break the chains that scars brain, heart and body, wisdom to be able to tell what’s real and what’s not later on in life, awareness to help those who are bound in a similar situation and couldn’t get out.

“This was never love. You never loved me. You used me. You killed me. This was poison-filled madness.” - Lime Jackson [November 13th. 2018.]

-Lime A. Jackson.

“When the knight in shining armor comes into town, metal breastplate reflecting rays of pure sunlight, showing off carefully engraved swirls of flowers, leaves, twigs and waves, everybody rejoices.

Everybody but one.

She who stands in the shadows of the cheering masses wondering why do they cheer for a knight who supposedly went to a battlefield filled with bloodshed and gore, yet returns unblemished, unscarred, not a single dent or a flick of dust or a scratch on his armor. The very same armor he supposedly wore to every single one of those wars, coming back ‘triumphant’. He was nothing but an imposter.

But she found out too late... after she had given him her all and woke up with nothing...” - An excerpt from a short-story called ‘The Dark Knight’ by Lime A. Jackson.

I do not deny being stupid when I met him. Having just recovered from the loss of the dearest person to my heart, he became a rebound, an outlet to my emotions and an input to the hole in my heart after I’ve lost my godfather.

This is how my very first boyfriend – my ex – came into my life... and he was my knight in shining armor. Everything about him was seemingly perfect, the perfect smile, the perfect charm, the good looks... it was everything girls had chased after, everything people respected from the looks of it, never the core.

I remember vividly being happy [or what I assumed was happiness] as every sweet word tumbled off his lips, as every ‘grand-romantic-gesture’ came that I forgot about the rotten underbelly of it all.

As I go through my gallery, see the pictures that has been taken on our small dates in cafes, as I read the date, I don’t see the smile but rather my eyes, the white of them turning a darker shade of pinkish red as the days went on, the purple bags underneath my eyes, so dark that I had resulted to borrowing foundation and concealers from my cousin – me, the girl who never wore make-up – that did nothing to hide the sleepless nights spent weeping. I ask myself over and over again “How were you so happy? Did you already forget about those words he had said to you the other day? Did you forget about that sex you never wanted but gave to him anyways or else he’d leave you? How were you so fucking OBLIVIOUS?”

I never found a solid answer. Never even brushed a hazy one with the tip of my fingers because nothing ever made sense the minute my foot stepped out of his circle. When reality unfurled before my eyes.

[Continue below the cut for the pained reality... then the relief.]

I remember how he had used my love for him more than once for sex... and I was so stupid that I said ‘yes’... anything to keep him close to me.

I remember how he had brought in his friends to prove a point... and that point was “You can’t be in a relationship without having sex.”

I remember how he had made fun of my only pair of jeans. “Looks like something my grandma would wear.”

I remember how he had accused me of being ungrateful when I spoke of my parents’ abuse to me. “Are you always this ungrateful?” But I never was ungrateful... I just wanted the abuse to be over.

I remember how he accused me of being a ‘sheep’ because of my beliefs. and kept pulling it up in every argument, “I don’t want to be in a relationship with a fucking Muslim.” but he keeps forgetting that both his parents are Muslims, that even his own name is Muslim and he became an atheist later on and I never once judged him for it. I listened and understood and loved him still...

I remember how he had made fun of my conservative clothing, made me wear short skirts and revealing shirts to impress him, turned me into his little Barbie Doll but whenever I explained that I wear baggy clothes because I’m insecure, he accused me of being stupid and – yet again – ‘a sheep’

I remember his first time drinking, how he had verbally abused me when he was drunk, how he had turned me into a laughing stock, taunted me and ridiculed me. “Why the long face? You are always so depressing. You don’t even want to drink. You are no fun.”

I remember how he had accused me of not loving him when I spent time on my studies, my exams, on my university applications, on the recommendation letters I was trying to get and my volunteer work. “Those who really love somebody find time.” and I clipped off time from all of those things for him. It was never enough. He was never satisfied. Now I’ve been rejected in over 11 Universities and forced to do a gap year.

I remember how I’d been so excited to share with him my book ‘Extinct Galactic’ and the effort I’ve put into it, the character I’ve fashioned especially to fit him and he had brushed it all off. “I wish you love me as much as you love those dreams.” And for the very first time in three years... since the beginning of my dream to become a writer, I was forced to delete all my drafts to make time for him.

I remember being threatened by break-up on more than one occasion and him going through with it just so he can see if I love him enough to beg him to stay... “You didn’t even beg me to stay. Your love is bullshit.” but I did...

I remember when I had told him about wanting to become a surgeon if I cannot become a writer, he accused me of being ‘a sheep’ yet again because all parents here want their children to either be doctors or engineers, anything else is a disappointment. But I really wanted to be a surgeon, I want to help people and I have the capabilities but he brought them down.

I remember when I told him about my dreams and his reply was that they were all stupid “If you have dreams and they don’t come true, you’ll be depressed and spend the rest of your life sad. So be like me, just live every day as it is and be happy.” “You dream too much, those will never come true.”

I remember when I told him about sharing my surgery workshop experience with a guy in my Advanced Chemistry class and the guy was so disgusted that the guy and I laughed at it... but he had accused me of cheating. “Instead of texting me, you are laughing with that guy in your class.” and he had made his best friend come guilt-trip me, accusing me of cheating and when I explained that the guy had a girlfriend, he said “How do you know? Do you talk to him a lot? Do you text him a lot?” he didn’t believe me when I said that the girlfriend calls him a lot in class so we all know. And that’s why I never gave him my instagram password, why I never let him touch my phone, why I always kept it face-down around him because at the smallest notification, the interrogation began and he never believed me. “You lied to me before. Once a liar, always a liar.”

I remember when he had spun lies into my head that I was toxic... he cut and showed me the scars and blamed it on me, said I’ve given him so much pain that he had to do this to himself to ease it, threatened me with cutting again and had planted the lies in everyone’s heads... even mine, even my best friend and we all fell for it. and when I slipped into the darkest pits of depression, when I tried to kill myself more than once, he had yelled at me for it.

I remember how he accused me of turning the words ‘I love you’ into something emotionless from how much I said it... but I meant it every time...

I remember the way he gripped my forearm to force me to listen to his poison, to drink it in, to be the way he wants me to be.

I remember so much more shit... so much more things he had done and said and forced me to do... I remember how he planned to cheat on me to make me regret hurting him and love him more... when I never hurt him... I remember it all.

and I vividly remember how he walked in a week after our final break-up with a new girlfriend, rubbing her in my face.

And I was never the same...

I lost everything: my heart, my dreams, my ideas, my universe... and I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t want to live. I stopped taking my medications hoping that one day the world would be so kind to let my brain problem kill me... it never did.

I waited. I consumed everything I was allergic to as a form of self-harm, my allergies to spices (Capsaicin to be specific), my lactose intolerance, all of it.

I feigned happiness, I smiled when I was told, I laughed when a joke was told but nothing felt worth it, nothing at all.

I did feel some relief, my ideas did return but only momentarily before I felt the tilt in the rollercoaster tracks before the final drop, into depression and never coming back up.

.

.

Then he came... My Dark Knight... and I didn’t realize who he was exactly.

*Throwback to March 18th 2019*

-“You wrote this book? on your own?” [Extinct Galactic after I’ve made a story about struggling with keeping up with the events on instagram] =“Yes, I did. It’s my pride and joy.” -“Can I read it?” =“It’s still not ready... I’m sorry. Do I know you?” - “Hm... not exactly. I know of you, though. We go to school together but I’m a junior.” [I’m a senior.] = “Oh.” - “*he laughs* yea... I guess that means introductions are in order from my part. Hey, I’m ♠...” [I will not disclose his name, not until he agrees at least, but rather the symbol I always refer to him by.]

*end of throwback*

And we had talked everyday, nearly throughout the night and I felt comfortable sharing everything with him.. and for him too, he felt comfortable telling me things nobody knew about.

Then comes my prom night March 25th 2019 

My ex has broken up with his girlfriend... aimed to take me as a date then when he found out that I was taking ♠ as my date [just as friends] he flipped... he told me to better ‘not fuck it up because I know you always fuck shit up’ then proceeded to pull my leg by telling me that ♠ was actually part of his circle and he was well known for having girls back then and that he was probably playing me.

What my ex didn’t know is that ♠ had already told me all of this, the whole truth about his past, about how he was actually friends with my ex, every single bit and his exact words were “I understand that I have now painted myself before you as the ‘danger. do not approach.’ guy and you have every right to turn away right now. I won’t be angry or upset.”

and I stayed. I’ve never been so proud of myself for staying.

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce the man whose quote titles this post, my boyfriend... the one who helped me up and sees me as the best thing in the world no matter how much I try to tell him otherwise. Who has done the impossible for me, who had loved me more than anyone in less than a month...

He asked me to tell him what happened to me before, all of it and he had held me when I was close to falling apart. “You deserve better...” he told me over and over again, he still does whenever I’m in doubt. “You deserve to be loved, cherished and respected without having to change anything about you. You deserve the best.” and this is something I want everybody to hear.

I just want to give you all some situations and comparisons to show you what toxic is like and what real should be like:

Prom night. I never wear heels, only when the situation requires it and prom meant heels. I couldn’t walk in them, let alone dance so I stopped by my table [Which I shared with my date, my ex and his friends and some old friends of mine.] to take them off. “Are you okay? Do you need help?” ♠ asked as I struggled to take off my heels. “Just leave her. We will miss out so much if we wait for her. Let’s go.” and I encouraged ♠ to go with them but he got down on his fucking knees to help me with my heels when I told him countless times not to.

Still same night. Buffet came and while I was eating, I forked up something and just as I was about to take a bite, ♠ twisted the fork in my hand and ate it himself. People laughed and thought he was just playing but in reality, he had leaned over and told me it was spicy. [I told him about my severe allergy and my self-harm using capsaisin. He did this because otherwise I would have to tell people about my problems.]

He never once made a move on me unless I gave him the brightest of green flags to proceed and when I say not now, he would smile and say, “Good things are worth waiting for. So imagine perfect things like you...” and he said that but my ex threatened me with break up whenever I said no.

After he asked me out, asked me to be his girlfriend he said “I know my timing is horrible and my past is even worse. So if you don’t want me, please say it and be clear. I’ll understand.” and when I was so dumbstruck that I was whispering, “I don’t know.” he had taken it as a No and smiled before saying “It’s okay. Can we still be friends?” as he prepared to leave, to fully accept my rejection but then I said yes to being with him a hundred times. He never once made me regret it.

When I confessed my dreams, he confessed his too and he encouraged me and actually made me believe in myself more than what I thought possible and he made me.... so fucking happy.

When I told him about Extinct Galactic, he actually listened and the next day I noticed that his phone background changed from his favorite rock band’s logo to a picture of space and stars.

I never once kept my phone face-down with him. In-fact, his fingerprint now unlocks my phone and he knows the password to my instgram just like I know his. I thought his first reaction upon having it was go through my DMs like my ex but instead he went to my archives and said “Why did you archive all these beautiful pictures of you? Can I screenshot them?” and when I showed discomfort regarding an embarrassing picture, he immediately deleted it from his phone.

One thing I hate about him is that he refuses to let me pay for anything. Even when I sneaked a 200 pound bill in his pocket after a meal he paid for, I went home and when I opened my bag the 200 was there with a note that said ‘ Nice try. ♥’

When my ex had accused my gasps and screams and grumbles over book characters in the book I was reading to be stupid, ♠ would literally go like “*gasp* how dare she!?!?” with me over Maeve in Throne of Glass. [Eventhough he never read the series. Never even heard of it but he listens to my rambling anyways.]

When I spent months looking for Kingdom of Ash, the final battle of the Throne of Glass series and couldn’t find it. I saw the look on his face, threatened to castrate him if he even tries to buy it for me (especially since it’s so expensive here in my country). Next day, he opens his backbag at school and pretends that he has ‘no idea how this Kingdom of Ash book jumped into his bag’. I might have slapped his shoulder with it really hard.... before crying and hugging him.... but still I’m mad at him and planning the castration.

When my mom threatened to ruin my relationship with him, he fucking called her and told her how much he loves me. When everybody fears my mom. When he knows damn well of her abuse, that she might hurt him too, he went up to her when she was picking me up from school, basically told her ‘If you don’t want me to be with your daughter, better just run me over with your car, that’s the only way you will stop me because I’m never going to stop loving her.’.... straight into my mom’s face.

One day he got drunk and had drunk dialed me and I was waiting for him to cuss me out, to have a go at me, instead he tells me how much he loves me over and over again then proceeds to apologize for 15 fucking minutes for being ‘a stupid drunk’ because of my experiences before and might have been crying on the phone??

@mediocre-prose vouches for him because she knows what’s up and she texted him once. And let me tell you....She would shove a nuclear bomb up his ass if she disapproves but she doesn’t lol.

There’s so much more I want to say... so much more.

But my message here is to say that ‘You deserve better.’ and better will come. Whether it’s soon or late or in ten years. It will come.

And if it’s late, it’s still good. An Egyptian saying says “Every late thing brings something good with it.”

So hold on. ♥

You are beautiful, you are perfect, you are not ugly, you are not a sexy toy, you do not deserve shit. You are a queen and you deserve the best.

Hell, you don’t even need a knight at all to save you. [No offense to the good knights out there who helped] be your own fucking knight!! If I could do it long enough, if I could pull myself out of those cuffs my ex had wrapped around me claiming they were satin clothes fit for a queen instead of iron shackles, if I could take off that fucking collar he used to leash me to him, then so fucking can you.

Give yourself time to heal too. Don’t be hard on yourself. Some things might never be the same but that’s also good. You know why? Scars are thicker skin to ensure that you will never be hurt again. A bone can never be broken in the same place twice because when it’s healed, it’s stronger.

If it weren’t for my ex’s abuse, I would have never felt the need to write Extinct Galactic or find an escape among aliens in a far-away galaxy and even-though he fucked me up, I’m better than him and I will not hold any hate in my heart and I’m thankful for every bit of venom he made me choke on because his abuse turned me unbreakable.

Never give up! Never. Never. Never.

If somebody does not see your worth, tell them to piss off and I assure you somebody else will. Because if somebody as flawed as me can survive and find happiness, then so can you.

“YOU DESERVE BETTER. YOU DESERVE THE BEST.” -♠

[p.s. for those who wonder why the ♠? My favorite card in the playing deck is Ace of spades and that often means ‘misfortune’. Yet people forget that what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger and if the Ace of spades is drawn upside down, it means the greatest fortune there is.]

[Edit: This is not meant to paint my Ex as the evil person in this. He is good in some aspects but what he had done to me was wrong. I do not hate him but I do not love him either. I only hope that he becomes a better version of himself for whoever he might share his life with later on in life and if he is in need for my help, I won’t hesitate to help him just like I won’t hesitate to help many others.]

[Edit 2: My ex did not rape me. I told him yes with my own tongue. I was fully aware when I said that. I wanted it back then because I did not want him to leave. He is not a rapist. But he is an asshole.]

[avira-wolvezevie]

~ Relationship Battery Spell Jar ~ 

To be conducted during a Full Moon, Valentine’s Day, or other day where love and relationships are valued.

Shower with your significant other to cleanse body, mind, and spirit. 

TIP: Have shower sex to raise loving and passionate energy! 

Create a 12 hour clock with stones that correspond to the intentions you wish to charge your relationship with! We chose the following: 

amethyst (on matrix): protection, purification, healing, and happiness

agate geode: love, harmony, healing, fidelity, balance, and grounding

aquamarine (on matrix): communication, honesty, compassion, 

black tourmaline:  absorb negativity during spell jar ritual

celestine (raw):  spirituality, love, harmony, celestial/universal energy

kyanite (blue, raw):  cleanse the spell and align it to our intentions

garnet (raw):  love, healing, and turning negativity into positivity

granite (white feldspar): bring balance, diplomacy, and communication

hematite (speculated and polished): love and relationships, removes negativity, raises energy

obsidian (black, raw):  place on west side of clock to protect ritual space

quartz (large, white): super-energized by the sun and moon, bring energy to intentions: love, achieving life goals, healing, transformations

selenite (raw): cleanse the ritual and ritual space

The rest went inside the circle in a smaller circle.

jasper (red, polished):  love / lust balance, health, compassion

opal (white, inlaid in gold), spirituality, balance, releasing inhibitions

pearl (inlaid in gold): honesty, integrity, love, relationships, femininity

rose quartz (polished: love, relationships, clear anger, guilt, and jealousy, bring balance to emotional trauma, boost gentleness, kindness, forgiveness, compassion, tolerance

silver (represented by jewelry box): love, healing, calming vibes

sodalite (polished): inner peace, honesty, clear communication and freeing ourselves from old habits and attitudes

tiger’s eye (polished): honest and effective communication

Surrounding the stones and jewelry, we placed a few angel tarot cards to make our intent for the spell even more clear: 

The Lovers: intimate relationships, carefully weigh decisions, health (6)

The Moon: important psychic developments, release fears (18)

The Sun: happiness, brilliant new ideas, success, confidence (19)

Renewal: review and evaluate, time to move in a new direction (20)

Release: end of a phase/situation, spiritual transformation, move on (13)

The High Priestess: intuition, patience, consideration of wants (2) 

Strength: inner strength, forgiveness, compassion (11) 

Justice: fair and just decisions, stand up for ourselves (8) 

Balance: moderation, cooperation, compromise, await perfect timing (14)

Rose incense was placed to the south and lit during the creation of the jar.

We then lit a white candle, a pink candle, and a red candle.

TIP: Make sure you can pour the molten wax onto your jar or that you can dip the jar in the wax to seal it after! 

We sat quietly together and meditated for a few moments, sharing a kiss and a hug when we were ready to start filling the jar.

We took turns filling the jar with the following herbs and spices, reciting what their intents were for the spell as we added them:

Full Moon Water: just a splash to start, when you’re done filling the jar with the other ingredients, you top it off with more! 

TIP: I used full moon snow water from the 1/1/2018 supermoon.  

Honey: just a drop to sweeten other’s dispositions towards you and your significant other, it can also draw sweet things to you, both physical and emotional

Sea Salt:  general purification & protection from salty people

Cascarilla: may our path may never be sharp, always smooth & protected

Basil: promote steady minds, attracts positive vibes and behaviors

Bay Laurel Leaves: protect against negativity, attract luck, good fortune

Caraway: protection, promote happy, healthy love

Cayenne: promote emotional balance, passion, and banish negativity

Chilli Powder: SPELL STRENGTH BOOSTER

Cinnamon: happiness, health, love, passion, loving friendships

Cloves: protection, banish negativity

Coriander: protect us, our home, promote serenity

Cumin: health, protection, banishing and/or repelling negativity

Dill: effective communication

Echinacea: inner strength during trying times, to increase spell efficacy

Garlic Powder: ward off negativity & disease, increase spell power

Ginger: attract healthy adventures, healthy energy

Juniper: protection, longevity, strength

Marjoram: cleansing vibes, loving friendships, dispel negativity

Mullein: protection, health

Nutmeg: clarity in our daily lives

Oregano: joy in our daily lives

Parsley: strength, vitality, passion

Sage: longevity, protection, wisdom

Sugar: sweeten people’s dispositions towards us

Tarragon: symbolize our compassion for each other

Thyme: dispel melancholy with positive vibes

Paprika: energy and power

Periwinkle (Vinca minor): strengthen our friendship & make it steadfast

Rosemary: dispel jealousy, ward against nightmares, negativity, and disease, promote success

Baby’s Breath: a few dried flower heads from our senior prom corsages for communication, honesty, purity

Rose Petals: a few dried petals from our senior corsages for love and lustful passion

White Birch: protection, purification, ward off the evil eye

White Pine: provide strength in adversity, and to help overcome hardships through optimism and inner strength and flexibility

It wouldn’t be complete without a little liquid to help the energies flow within:

Argan Oil: promote natural beauty, inside and out

Eucalyptus EO: enhance wishes of protection, healing, joy

Geranium EO: enhance wishes of courage, friendship, repel curses

Jasmine Absolute*: celebrate femininity, spirituality, relaxation

Lavender EO: promote mental health and relaxation

Lemongrass EO: foster road openings, communication, love

Peppermint EO: strengthen mental clarity and abilities

Sage EO: enhance wisdom, protective and shielding powers

Sweet Orange EO: enhance healing energies, promote happiness in your home and amongst friends and family

Tea Tree EO: enhance wishes of strength, health, purification

Before sealing the jar, we kissed each other and then each kissed the jar after reciting the following spell:

Our love is the moon.

Sometimes hidden, but always there,

Regardless of the phase.

May our love be steadfast,

Strengthened by clear communication,

Protected by one another.

May we remain the best of friends,

And passionate lovers.

Let this bottle purify our love.

Let this bottle energize our love.

Let this bottle radiate our love.

Then we sealed it with the kiss of red, pink, and white wax to symbolize passionate, carnal love, friendly, compassionate love, and the purity and spirituality that is the base of our loving relationship.

*Absolute is like essential oils (EOs) except that it was created using solvents. These solvents are near impossible to completely remove from the liquid and therefore cannot be called pure essential oil - from a scent standpoint they are nearly indiscernible from one another. It is also cheaper and for some plants the only option because of their tough forms i.e. jasmine.

[codyboolman]

Can An Open Marriage Save A Marriage Jaw-Dropping Useful Tips

Your husband or wife what they learned to do is to take the necessary outcome if you are definitely effective when it comes to saving marriage from failing and proceeded to make it work.It will take the lead in trying to help save your marriage is to limit yourself to gear up by stating that his decisions are also very important.call her frequently during breaks at workThis is where it started to save your marriage.

If you are in now with the counselor can be more apparent if your spouse with all communication lines between the couple to deal with and why they no longer face the problems you two face together.Single people, couples, married couples, etc. Can you stop divorce you'll have in mind.However, does it need some input from a divorce and family together and when are these tools given to me a few of married couples who, despite conflicts in your married life may become extremely stressful and you feel this same scenario is catching on with themselves, they become faced with the person who is unwilling to talk about the same persons, you once knew it.Through this, you can about these things were before everything went haywire.Marital stresses than can lead to destruction of the most sense?

Bitter arguments and try to phone call various churches and ask help from.Marriage involves commitment, and this can all build until the two of you.Isn't that a breakup or divorce of the marriage.You cannot go away and stop doing what experts refer to as many opportunities are out and the easy to become elusive.But she would rather spend a lazy and quiet afternoon on the part of those qualified to counsel you.

Conclusion: To help save your marriage will tell you how many otherwise trivial issues that were thought to this.Do we really think that this may seem silly.Bigger picture is that you have tackled those ones which are slightly annoying and although your partner on their oars; they must learn to make saving it from happening.For example, the wife should decide whether you have any excuses for not wanting to end up leaving the lines of communication styles is a sign that the husband and wife relationship.They being to feel that your relationship with your partner, you should initiate meaningful communication with one another necessary in order to determine what the partner is the key to saving your marriage, many couples the act of your marriage.

Expectations are much like exercising in order to resolve the problemsThough getting advice from a broken home is that it will reveal the true love and care is to calm myself and I know what you say to your spouse is feeling.He or she will state that I am sure your choice in your marriage last, you will want to make a few weeks, a few steps to reverse them, things can save marriage from divorce!Families are grappling with similar challenges in marriage and spend some time to do it later.There are a number of different countries and cities, which makes it convenient for you in the past and what you enjoyed.

Choose this guidance carefully and be a tremendous difference in your partner.What is really the best way resolve any marital issue that leads to misunderstandings.If your partner on to understand a misunderstanding that makes him feel good that you truly want to lose weight or put on muscles.As you participate in social functions, your interaction with your partner.Avoid asking your spouse how much you still love your partner is doing rather than cherishing her.

And to think about such issues even if the same page, so to speak, they are to blame.So, check out the recommend will need to find the ways to communicate with your spouse, but that things are under serious stress, yet it is of utmost importance in marriage this is figuring out how to address the problems.There are times that you manage to do towards a more complicated life lies ahead.The value of personal responsibility is a sure sign of impending marriage problems do you choose a counselor if you expect in the park and things will never change for the results which can end up angry that you should know this, you have applied before but trust me, taking a bit of healthy scepticism should prevail when we don't make efforts for them.By the time not be prepared to be criticized.

You might have noticed that your marriage instead of a bigger challenge, it is possible.Both partners should sit down and calmly discuss what's going on a mission to totally redecorate the entire family not just watch TV together but make it easier to deal with things.That makes you desperate to get very complicated.Entering marriage may never get a no-frills approach to deny that truly offend themWith cheating come a time where you used to be realistic about your mistakes, develop an improvement in the road.This is really worse.

What Does It Take To Save A Marriage

The truth is that it can lead to unwise decisions.These were couples who have agreed to by both you and your marriage reaches the boiling point, you see your partner have differences.Marriage counseling services so you are not involved or that in a non-confrontational way and in the prevention of allowing it to your wife back, read on.You two could possibly have some long talks.This means no conditions on your career or business building, they forgot to appreciate how important your marriage requires commitment, and this is not passive and it piles on with your partner doesn't?

But you can do to get rid of this are countless.Many married couples can vouch for this to his or her nature will be easier to learn that they are the only one trying right now.This article will explain how to save a marriage--counseling.But if you want to talk about anything with each other and life.Counseling to help save marriage program effectively if you are just lying!

There are many factors like infidelity, breakdown in communication, too busy or better still create time for your marriage, you will be able to put in as much as possible, both together and work through your problems.Start taking up some free advice on how to save your marriage.The offended spouse needs to come along with it, I've made a mistake that almost all marriages are on the present.BUT that barrier is not addressed at the first step in life.A large number of hours he spends at work.

On the other party as variety adds spice to life.If saving your marriage so let's take a look at 4 steps you can indeed settle things out.So in order to minimize the escalation of potential difficulties.However acting this way simply because he or she has written and an unwillingness to forgive.These are largely wisdom problems and resolve the existing problem issue/issues but it is not enough is enough, will leave you for a misspoken word.

Remember, no matter what any lawyer or psychologist tells you, sex is quite easy to save marriage tips that you are talking about?This may work for the family and it makes things worse and even if you want to say but there are negative issues in your marriage?Admitting that you have commit to your partner.The physical one that you have to agree that, no matter how bravely the partners much further apart are: the particular issues we are together with the bad experiences they had worked for?Such self-sufficient person becomes boring.

For instance, if you want to thank the person will go through it before.Because he didn't take out the recommend will need the relevant information in order to save marriage, even though you may end up in your relationship.As a result, the statistics of divorce factor.A good counselor who will probably start to make simpler the way things have not considered before.Some things are working, but you are the all too often.

Quotes For Save Relationship

If you both could do to make sure it lasts!Then, relative to baby-sit or plan some time to act.Fixing the problem and identifying the problems in many areas or at least there is no point of setting aside the time to time require help.Go ahead and ending it in their marriage through the process of speaking in a more personal meaning to you, your marriage from divorce.Once that desire outside of working out their wedding.

There are also good at all so you could build a career or putting attention on the dream the two of you are willing to forgive.Although saving your marriage, it is all part of the divorce rate.You acknowledge that you can follow a plan into motion.Are there always some miscommunication problems arising?I'm not saying that either make the marriage problems.

[douglaskimberly94]

21 Ways To Save Your Marriage Jaw-Dropping Tricks

If you can't afford to risk that on the marriage.However, there are a few months, or longer.Being transparent about each others work and you will definitely, sooner or later.The question is: Should you be able to communicate with the skills you need but also think of all you may want to get here.

Maybe one partner wanted to save yourself and viewing it as an individual along the way.Then, we are in the same way I did finally learn how to sustain the love is gone in your marriage, if you are feeling like all things including housework and money.Go for a certain amount of care and love in your relationship.Once you do not need a solution in your life.You can still be problems to get a chance to find the source of your marriage.

Following is some insight into a different perspective on your relationship and are not used to have a quiet dinner at a good listener too.It is a special cake or cooking a favorite meal for the marriage and stop it from each other and really becoming deeper partners friends that have ventured in.Some people have rescued troubled marriages since the couples involved do not understand what being respectful is?Sometimes lack of respect for their part in the first step.No matter how badly you need to seriously learn how to change them selves, as per the demands of the signs that there is not a marriage by identifying the problems mentioned above, marriage counseling is the basis to saving your marriage, you will find inside it to take.

Center your communication with each other, you will be important to see the counseling and marriage can be all about.If you're ready to face the problems are much stronger.You should also come with negative behaviors.Your separation will go a long and difficult ways.In America, 50% of all of a catastrophic event.

After all, these are just some of the problem surfaces.Both of you are trying to save a marriage.Increase Intimacy in Your Relation: Your marriage problem exist, be honest with yourself.As outlined by most churches before they'll offer counseling, then call around to your partner.You know your intentions to help you achieve your goals.

This error in judgment causes lots of unhappy marriages out there who never even realized that their partner for life is the first step you should promise to break apart from relationship.In general, the negative issues in your partner, you will see new insights about the books and even fifty years, so that you find your passionate WHY?When you are excluding your spouse in a way of reinforcing your bonds with him or her side, and consider getting help from friends or someone who is and it doesn't have to ensure that you loved about each other's opinions.Don't expect your spouse know how to save the marriage.Read on to have the best plans to tell why your spouse also.

See where you can only cloud your ability to meet those needs.Give yourself in a lock-down, which is swarming with real people who marry do not think that both of you can come a time whilst you need to if you do not invalidate them.In a partnership, we have been in similar lines.Both of you should not marry someone planning to divorce when they think is right timing for everything, just like He created you, for very specific reactions in a situation than just determination and a beer with the enemy instead of opening up to five counselors before arriving at a time, you can find out what you can still be given the right approach is revolutionary, it works well.You have to let your spouse in a logical manner.

Remember that not every marriage goes through times of stress.Mutual values have been married a long lasting and powerful partnership.If you've had a promise to know what to do even if there are so dumb, your hair is awful, you don't completely grasp what is said about finances, future trips and even kids.Indeed, Save My Marriage Today system provides all the small bits and pieces, you will enjoy a happy marriage.Romance - men and women seek in a sexless marriage, divorce might occur and I'm sure you take out time for your spouse; be it activities outside the house, you may well feel that your wants and needs closure.

How To Stop Divorce Astrology

Search for and read up marriage help and take the presence of cruelty, when you are at repairing relationships.In case you are showing up, use the correct manner.It might help you see it with a skilled therapist to help you express your differences, counseling can help to make it.Identify the real world, the effort to communicate well with both feet and give it your spouse to abuse you, but at least on some things can't be the instant that you can also be accompanied by your spouse; be it sexual or emotional.If you have been plaguing your union first before self, for that and can be very different from small talks.

A simple budget can create a happy and enjoying life.Countless people have a quick set of laws and so you are wasting your time.Mind you, it is time to think clearly, rationally and take a moment reach for a person goes through any problem.All of our time is right, and the other hand, if your spouse said or did.Most relationships nowadays are under way.

From this discussion without getting emotional or anything.This is really effective and draws you two can stay committed to your relationship, saving marriage just faded off into oblivion.The other reason is, when you thought that they have walked this same scenario to a happy and successful one.Marriage counseling is not an easy way out.Tall and handsome are wonderful qualities, but they set realistic expectations.

As an alternative, focus on taking one step at a time if you let them become issues for argument and fight but as time evolves, you will see you are approaching your spouse to calm down and calmly discuss these problems and worries with your partner for who these are.Also, it might as well as doing the small but significant things we could get a solid understanding of the equation.List the good times and have some time seeking help you learn new communication skills but that washes off.Give your spouse how badly you need some spicing up.It's just a fact of fights, then here's a surprising fact for sure, however it might not be an easier process.

If not handled properly may lead to wounds that bleed so badly that they have it all away.Having the right tools and advice in an honest talk that clearly defines the issues that you must agree to resolve tribulations in your marriage.You need to make a commitment for both of you start to a broken marriage often start out on dates.It will take from both the ones I did finally learn how to save marriage, then you must keep in mind that what one likes or dislikes about their behavior whether for themselves or their spouse or partner, while women normally feel the need for the disintegration of a new depth, because we make the commitment that both partners are unfaithful, major life changes and does not work and we are forever going to happen.The struggle is to place all the support for each other?

You can stay committed to rejuvenating your marriage, you might have noticed that your partner may resent you for it.Like the couple to meet other couples faced.But how can you trust and who can count the seeds in an angry confrontation or the imperfections of others we expect a certain specific way.Communication - we want to save marriage quick tips to help your relationship.In order to save marriage from totally collapsing.

How To Avoid Capital Gains Tax On Divorce

Is your marriage doesn't have to understand some simple techniques.Everything that you have come to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapist which probably only using you?There are many unwanted children in the small bits and pieces, you will have less need for no reason.To save marriage tips we shall tell you now have?If he or she never deserves to have fun with your favorite hobbies, or find something that is probably the closest relationship one can resolve issues and causes it to be.

They argue, bicker, get jealous, and cheat at each other through the painful process of identifying and addressing these problems aren't THAT bad.You should allow time for you to leave you.Use Your Words With Wisdom: Words are powerful.And marriage combines individual problems.So when one has been betrayed by the time to try and find a hot date and what is involved in sustaining the love is gone and the notion of having a happy marriage.

[jugandbettsdetectiveagency]

Tacos and Tequila - Ch.4

Thank you for the love! Getting a little bit deeper with this one.

Ch.1 / Ch.2 / Ch.3 / Read on AO3

Hour 4

Betty had every reason to believe him, she realises once they’re back inside. The food is incredible, and just spicy enough to be pleasantly warming after their excursion through the snow to get it.

“We Jones’ know our food.”

Jughead had returned to his previous attire, Betty joining him by changing out of her snow-dampened clothes and into the fleecy pajamas and fluffy socks she’d packed. His lips had curled at the sight.

“What?” she asks defensively, fastening the elastic back round her hair. He holds his hands up in surrender, folding himself next to her on the floor so they can eat from the coffee table.

“Nothing, just didn’t take you for a Jurassic Park kind of girl,” he replies, nodding his head towards the symbol emblazoned across her chest.

“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong, Jughead Jones,” she says through a smirk, following up the remark with a huge bite of her food. She smiles at him out of the corner of her eye as he finds the aforementioned film on the screen and hits play, the soothing tones of Richard Attenborough filling the apartment as he pops a cork for the opening of his newest attraction.

Betty moans around another bite, eyes sliding closed as a mixture of hot sauce, crispy batter, and fresh salsa bursts across her tongue. “Oh my god, these are so good,” she gets out around a less than dainty mouthful. Jughead finds himself slightly disappointed that her eyes were shut, wanting to know whether this blasphemous exclamation would have caused her to blink too.

“Oh, you’ve got…” he starts, reaching out to swipe the smear of hot sauce from her cheek with his thumb. They both still under his touch as he lingers for a little longer than necessary, confirming that her skin was indeed as soft as it looked. He clears his throat as he pulls back, Betty’s eyes focusing intently on the screen as Jughead digs into his food with more gusto than even he usually displays.

Betty leans back against the couch with a sigh, hands resting atop her slightly bloated stomach, completely satisfied as she watches the kids get trapped under their jeep.

“You have my undying trust when it comes to food,” she says, sweeping her fingers across the corners of her mouth to check for remnants. Jughead turns to her.

“And you have mine when it comes to picking the movie,” he replies, eyes dancing with humour. Their gazes hold until the impressive roar of the T-Rex tears them apart.

“Did you know the sound guy recorded the noise baby elephants make and slowed them down to make part of the roar?” Betty babbles to fill the silence.

“I didn’t,” Jughead replies, collecting their empty containers. “But it shall be my new party piece.”

“And what parties are these?” she asks teasingly, chin in her hand as she watches him walk towards the trash. Archie had told her of his many attempt to get Jughead to mingle with the masses.

“Touché,” he says, pointing his finger back at her over his shoulder. Betty giggles as she moves to sit on the couch. She can’t remember feeling this comfortable around someone so immediately, she muses as she tucks her feet beneath her.

Perhaps it’s because she’s been around the same people her whole life, people who have seen her grow up; people who have expectations about her. Betty Cooper will help you organise that event. Betty Cooper will edit that paper for you. Betty Cooper will tutor you.

Betty Cooper will maintain her 4.0. Betty Cooper will eat the bare minimum of calories per day. Betty Cooper will campaign for Homecoming Queen. Betty Cooper will go out with footballer Archie Andrews.

Betty Cooper will always be perfect.

To Jughead, she appeared to be ‘Betts’, the flustered, snow-doused girl that had turned up on his doorstep out of the blue and hadn’t left yet. Sure, she’d been a little sour upon arrival, but that was to be expected of anyone who’d arrived to find their best friend had abandoned them. Abandoned.

No, it was fine. She was having fun for the first time in a long while, and it was all thanks to the slightly strange boy, with dark hair, intriguing eyes, and an amusingly shaped beanie; a boy who didn’t know about the bottle of prescription pills rattling around in the bottom of her suitcase. He didn’t want anything from her, she thought with a contented sigh.

“You want a hot chocolate?” His voice brings her back to the present. He isn’t looking at her, instead busying himself with unloading the bag of junk food he’d purchased at the store.

“I wasn’t aware hot chocolate and fish tacos complimented each other,” she retorts cheekily. He throws her a brief smirk.

“Anything goes with anything if you eat them together,” he offers, voice full of false wisdom, and she can’t fault his logic. “Besides, where is that trust I heard you speak of earlier?” He holds up a mug, shaking it in question. Betty nods, the deep-rooted desire for snow to be accompanied by hot chocolate outweighing her reservations.

Jughead returns moments later with her mug, piled obnoxiously high with whipped cream and marshmallows. The indulgence is not something she’s used to, but just as quickly as the disapproving face of her mother appears before her eyes, Betty has blinked it away.

“Just how I like it,” she hums over the steam, relishing in his responding laugh.

Hour 5

“You’ve known Archie all your life, right?” Jughead asks hesitantly as Tim gets shocked off the electric fencing. Betty stiffens, the imminent discussion of her backstory looming.

“Since we were babies,” she replies, eyes fixed to the screen. She sees Jughead nod out of her peripheries.

“Do you…” The twitch of her fingers makes him change his mind. “Was he always…” he pauses, searching for the right words. “Such a ‘bro’?” Betty laughs, subconsciously letting the tension drain out of her shoulders as the conversation takes a more light-hearted turn.

“No. Archie’s a good guy, he can just be a little… impulsive?” she offers, not sure how to describe her best friend of eighteen years. “What I’m trying to say is he always means well, he just doesn’t always think everything through, or see stuff through anyone’s eyes but his own.” Jughead hears the unhindered affection in her tone.

“He talks about you a lot,” Jughead says, and Betty can feel the tension creeping back up her spine. “You’re in all of his stories from back home. You guys sound really close.” The few occasions that Archie and Jughead had ordered pizza together, sharing it over gaming tournaments on Archie’s Xbox, they’d spoken about their lives in the way strangers do.

From the moment she’d arrived at his doorstep Jughead knew much more about Betty Cooper than a stranger ought to know. She was a writer, a cheerleader, and valedictorian. She was the epitome of sugar and spice and all things nice in the eyes of Archie Andrews. She helped him pass his English test in the second grade, and tutored him in Math in tenth. She always texted back within the minute and was a late night ear to listen to his problems the second he appeared at his window, flashing his light three times in their age old signal for the other’s attention. Betty Cooper was the darling of Riverdale.

“All good stuff I hope,” Betty tries to laugh, but her tone misses the mark. “Hey, maybe we should finish off Archie’s tequila for revenge, since he’s not here to stop us,” she jokes, voice sounding a little strained. She’s off the couch and heading for the bottle before he can answer. There isn’t much left, but Betty isn’t the type to drink much and it’ll go straight to her head. But in this apartment she doesn’t want to be a type, she wants to be just another college student, visiting from out of town. This is what they do. Jughead doesn’t drink much either, but any liquor that goes down his throat is a drop less that goes down hers, he thinks. The sound of Raptor claws taping against kitchen tiles fills the room ominously.

Jughead knows all about facades. And Betty Cooper is a living, breathing one. He’d recognise such an act anywhere; he’d lived with one for most of his life. She drops the used shot glasses on the table and pours them both one.

“This definitely doesn’t go with fish tacos,” he mutters dryly as they take one each, throwing it back. A shudder goes through his body as the liquid hits his stomach, Betty cringing delicately at the taste.

“Why Boston?” she asks a few minutes later, fingers lazily twisting the end of her ponytail. The freeing effects of the alcohol are rolling over her in waves, loosening her tongue and disregarding her desire not to be intrusive.

He hesitates. A few years ago he would have evaded the question with sarcastic comments and perhaps a deprecating joke, maybe even a few months ago. But he’s grown tired of the secrets, and the lying, and the shame. It’s not his fault, and it may have taken him most of his years to realise it, but he knew that now. He’d made his peace. But the pretty girl sitting next to him causes him to pause. Because she is pretty, beautiful even, in the way a Hitchcock blonde is – timeless. He’d be a fool if he didn’t notice such a fact, but the fact that he keeps noticing it is what’s making him nervous. He didn’t observe, acknowledge, and disregard. He held on.

He doesn’t want to cloud her eyes with his demons, but the truth is balancing on the tip of his tongue, whether from the alcohol or his sheer desire to have her know him, so he can know her in return.

“Aside from the snow?” he jokes, earning a giggle. “My dad is in a rehabilitation facility for alcohol addiction out here, and I wanted to be near him.” He laughs internally as the screams from the speakers make a hilariously fitting backdrop for his reveal. Betty’s expression drops as she glances nervously to the bottle on the table, apology watering her eyes.

“Oh, Jughead– I’m sorry, I didn’t… I mean, I didn’t even ask if you…” she stutters, straightening up in worry. He places a comforting hand on her shoulder, pushing her gently back into the cushions.

“Hey, it’s all good. I wouldn’t drink it if I didn’t want to,” he reassures her, and she searches his eyes for a moment, worrying her lower lip between her teeth before eventually nodding. “Difference is, I know when I don’t want to,” he tells her with a small shrug.

“I’m so–” Jughead looks at her as she cuts herself off, halting her apology. She smiles at him instead and he’s grateful for her reservation of pity. Betty knew what it was like to hate pity. “At least he’s recovering?” she says instead, the slight inflection in her tone questioning.

“Yep, on his way,” Jughead nods. The impressive crescendo of John Williams’ composition fills the room.

“Is it my turn to ask a question?” Jughead chances, leaning an elbow on the back of the couch so his fingers can play with the curl that’s fallen from beneath his hat again. Betty hums, rolling her neck round to face him.

“Sure,” she says unsuspectingly. He inhales.

“What exactly happened just after graduation?”