#tinky got my ass i fear

[yomi-art]

oughhg ted and paul :)

[pookiebabe]

can the bonten husbands win against a teletubby``

characters,, mikey, ran, rindou, kakucho, kokonoi, sanzu

some crude language and cursing

-inspired by the lovely @sukirichi whose writing dragged me into this mess. this was also more of a shitpost than bonten husband content.

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-mikey vs. tinky-winky-

no. no he cannot win. a valiant effort was made to protect his wife but, the teletubby tossed him away like an old cum-rag. never has mikey experienced such terror. he claims he wasn't trying because the opponent looked weak. i never knew mikey was so merciful. touman mikey might have stood a chance but i just can't see bonten mikey winning, especially against the oldest teletubby. now he's watching tinky-winky flirt with you as he tries to get up from the floor. sorry mikey it was never a fair fight to begin with.

-ran vs. dipsy-

no, but he was almost there. he was too cocky. things were going well, he would send the occasional wink to his wife just to swoon her, until he decided to insult dipsy. "dipsy? more like dipshit." from then on it just went down-hill. ran literally got his ass handed to him. dipsy showed no mercy for your poor husband. the only reason he's still alive is because you stepped in. dipsy would never hit a girl😌 he's honestly shook and just contemplates life while you treat his wounds.

-rindou vs. po-

the match was called off because things were getting too heated, even for the bonten executives. it was filled with bitch-slaps and insults. "oh yeah? well that's why you look like a traumatized monkey" "woah woah calm down" they're lucky he held back because his wife was there. also tried to steal po's scooter and ride around on it but he ended up breaking it, only making po madder. he probably got punched in the stomach, but he made a comeback by biting her. does not feel bad that he had to beat up a girl.

-kakucho vs. tinky-winky-

we have a winner! brutal fight honestly. tinky-winky tried smacking him with the little red purse he carries around, but kaku ripped it out of his hands and used it against him. kaku was taking no shit. in the end you scolded him for being "too rough" (that's what she said😏) and he had to watch you take care of tinky-winky. and he swears it did it on purpose. he had to watch the lucky bastard lay on your thighs and get treated. he often asks himself, 'did i really win'

-kokonoi vs. laa-laa-

they tied. i honestly think koko almost pissed his pants once he saw her, but didn't because his wife is watching him. puts up a pretty good fight against laa-laa. got very confused when she strated singing and dancing. also got hit in the face with her orange ball. in the end he got distracted by the video playing on her stomach and forgot they were fighting. sometimes you can catch him singing the song that laa-laa sings. feels kinda bad that he had to beat up a girl.

-sanzu vs. dipsy-

he won! barely. in my opinion dipsy is the scariest teletubby but that's nothing compared to how scary his wife is when she's mad. goes into the fight with no fear what-soever and a level-head. UNTIL dipsy completely ignored him and just waved to his wife. and she just waved BACK? sanzu was out for blood now. dipsy just kept dodging his attacks which only made him madder. in the end he just grabbed him by the antenna and yeeted him somewhere.

[typhos-c-dragon]

Memory wipe au with nightmares? Idk

This is gonna be like a first draft of a scene I wanna write into a full Memory Wipe AU fic someday, because Anya dreaming is a pretty big plot point.

Anya never used to dream. Whenever she fell asleep, she'd always be subjected to eight long hours of nothingness, before waking up feeling refreshed. Perhaps it was another side-effect of the memory loss.

Emma had joked about envying Anya for her lack of dreams, plus her consistent sleep schedule. Apparently she was often subjected to horrible nightmares, causing her to wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. Anya was quite the heavy sleeper, so she never noticed when this happened.

But tonight, as Anya drifted off to sleep, she found herself wandering through a dark labyrinth with rusted golden walls and a rancid odor wafting through the air.

"Hello?" Anya called out, her voice echoing as it bounced off the decrepit maze walls. "I-is anyone there?"

"HuahuahuhuahuhahahahaHAHAHAAAA~!"

Anya startled and hastily plugged her ears at the deafeningly loud laughter that had responded to her call. It was wild and demented, sadistic and hysterical. The stench of the maze grew stronger, and Anya removed one hand from her ears to plug her nose.

"Wh-who's there!?" Anya stammered, looking around the maze for even the briefest glimpse of another face.

"Getting into your head wasn't easy, my little Tin Soldier~!" the mysterious voice quipped. "But now I've got you right where I want you! IN TINKY'S FAVORITE LITTLE TOY BOX! HUAHUHUHUHAHAHAAAA~!"

Anya trembled as the voice grew louder, and the scent of rotting meat grew stronger. "Show yourself!" she snapped.

"If you insist~"

Before Anya could so much as blink, a cloud of mustard-yellow smoke puffed up in front of her. Emerging from the thick smoke, was a truly vile-looking sight. A seven foot-tall man clad head-to-toe in a crude, scraggly yellow goat costume. His face was concealed by a dead-looking mask with glassy blue eyes and stained, crooked teeth. A long, wet tongue flopped out the side of his mouth. His body was covered by a baggy body suit with matted, prickly yellow fur and an orange belly. Anya looked up at the monster that stood before her in terror.

"What... are you...?" Anya gasped out breathlessly.

"Just a friend~" the goatman replied, clapping his all-too-human hands together with glee. "A friend who knows you better than you know yourself, little Tin Soldier~!"

Anya's eyes widened at the implication. "A-are you saying..." she sputtered. "You know who I was before I lost my memories?"

The goatman burst out cackling once more. "YOU BET YOUR ASS, PRINCESS!" he bellowed. "I know all about you!"

"Tell me!" Anya pleaded desperately. "Tell me who I was before I woke up in that office! Please, I'm begging you!"

The goatman tilted his massive, shaggy-haired head to the side. "Now why the FUCK would I do that!?" he asked, dashing Anya's hopes. "I've been having so much FUN watching you flounder and fail~!"

Anya clasped her hands together, looking up at the goatman with pleading eyes. "Please, I just want to remember who I am!" she begged, feeling useless. She felt herself choking up. "I-I want to know why I'm in Hatchetfield, and why I look just like Emma!"

"TOUGH SHIT, TIN SOLDIER!" the goatman screamed with sadistic joy.

Without warning, he reached down and effortlessly lifted Anya from the ground with one hand by her throat. Anya kicked her legs out wildly, struggling in his grip.

"Put me down!" she cried, looking into the goatman's dead blue eyes with fear.

"It's so delicious watching you squirm~!" her tormentor taunted maliciously. "But I'm feeling generous tonight, and I do love a good riddle~! So I'll give you a little HINT!"

The goatman held up his free hand, summoning another cloud of smoke into it. Materializing from the smoke was a worn-out, pitiful looking stuffed bear. He dropped Anya to the ground, and plopped the bear in her lap.

"A teddy bear?" Anya inquired, inspecting the toy curiously.

The bear definitely looked like it had seen better days. It was scruffy and sad, with several tiny tears with tufts of stuffing poking out. It smelled of cigarette smoke and booze, which was like perfume compared to the goatman's decomposing corpse odor. But most unusual was what the bear was dressed up in. A tan coat and a black beanie. What was the significance of these clothes, and why did they look so familiar?

"It's Tinky's favorite Teddy Bear~!" the goatman explained, still looming over Anya.

"What the hell am I supposed-"

Anya looked back up, only for the goatman to not be there. And before she could call out to him again, she was suddenly forced back into the waking world. Her eyes flew open, and she found herself back in the sweet familiarity of Emma's apartment.

"Morning Anya!" she heard Emma greet her from the tiny kitchen area. Anya spun around from her sleeping bag to see her roommate/pretend sister rummaging through the cupboards. "I bought those strawberry Pop Tarts you like while I was out shopping yesterday, you want one?"

"S-sure..." Anya replied, not sure what to make of her dream.

Emma made eye contact as she strode over, two Pop Tarts in hand. "You alright?" she asked. "You look a little out of it."

"I just..." Anya stammered, running her hand through her sleep-tousled curls. "I had a weird nightmare."

"Aw, I'm sorry," Emma said, handing Anya one of the pastries. Her gaze flitted off to the foot of the sleeping bag, a look of intrigue crossing her face. "Have you always had that bear?"

Anya felt herself jump. "Wh-what!?" she stammered. She snapped her gaze to where Emma was looking, and was met with the sight of the ragged, pathetic stuffed toy the goatman had given her. She snatched it up, regarding it's worn appearance and wincing at the strong musk of smoke and alcohol wafting off of it. "I think... I should tell you about my dream, Emma."