#timesnewrites

[timesnewreader]

I think this is self-shipping so feel free to ignore it if you’re not up for that lol But @prettyboykatsuki ‘s writing on Kaiser’s mother issues has been fucking me up so hard. Like I’m not even quite at his point in Blue Lock yet (I think I’m right before it) but I cant help but go damn we’d be so bad for each other sjrhajfjjwjf (or good maybe depending on the pov). I have a bad habit of mothering my friends, like I don’t really like children, but I like to take care of people. And I say its a bad habit because a fair few of them don’t really want me to do it. And I try my damnedest to respect their boundaries (I’ve improved so I’ve been told) but I feel like Kaiser and I might be crack for each other in that way. That sort of gentle parenting, half-joking, ultimately accepting thing is my bread and butter and unfortunately I have a thing for men who bring that out of me. Somewhat immature, need you to play along with their jokes, and who usually chafe at the sense that you want to take care of them. Honestly, they’re kind of assholes half the time lmao. I don’t know Kaiser as a character well enough to know if he’d dislike it at first, but I’d do my best to respect him if he told me to back off. From what Fang’s said about him though I feel like as soon as I did he’d realize he misses that semi-motherly caring presence and, whether the desire is conscious or not, he’d seek it out again. There’s like a lot more to it I’m certain, but all I know is I’d call him a good boy and we’d for sure get down to some freak shit.

I also had a brain blast that I think might be universal for whoever Kaiser gets with. I don’t think that guy would want kids. Like there’s a world where he works through his shit maybe Idk enough to say, but not to get too freudian, I think he’d project onto the idea of a child so hard and would basically conclude that he will not compete for your attention with a fucking child. Yeah the thought of you as a literal mother is (weirdly and intensely) hot to him, but his whole being hates the idea of anyone stealing you away from him, including his own kid. I want him very much, I don’t know if I should curse you or thank you from the bottom of my heart Fang🫡🫡 ajbrjsjjfnsnjfn

[timesnewreader]

We out here wanting to be part of some very unhealthy dynamics cuz validation is inherent to them BWOBAHBAHBWOOOOOWWWW💥💥

(It’s me I’m the one who wants it)

Like not in real life, but also when you’re feeling extremely lonely the thought of being objectified, in the truest sense of the word, can feel enticing.

When someone thinks of you as an object, and they covet you? It would make me insane. Because they see value in you, they want you, and they don’t want anyone else to have you. You know you’re worth something purely because they desire you.

Are there healthier ways to go about this? Yes of course, no questions asked. But this is the dynamic that’s plaguing me tonight.

[timesnewreader]

I’m torturing myself just being around you. Because I know you can’t want me the way that I want you.

It’s alright in the moment. When the illusion is still cast and I can pretend you love me in the way I’m desperate for.

But in the dark, in the aftermath, when the spell has broken? You leave. And the hollow space in my chest is empty again.

Because really, you never meant to fill it in the first place.

[timesnewreader]

I just think that 1) they look surprisingly similar 2) their goals match up so well and 3) there’s much room for brotherly angst and motivation and all that jazz. Like lovingly, Bakugo would be on even more freak shit if he also had an older brother to compare himself to.

Like Kunigami is older than him and just has wanted to be a paragon of hope since he was a kid and was always trying to be a good example for his little brother and of course Bakugo loves him, but it does mean he’s now on that younger sibling path to brainrot.

I think that Kunigami would be like significantly older than Bakugo, maybe like 10 years and so he’s graduating from UA when Bakugo is still really little. And he’s kind of been this shining beacon for Bakugo his whole life, and he tried to be as present as he could be while he was still in school and living at home.

But then he graduates and becomes a sidekick and he’s just got a lot less time for his family. And Bakugo is still himself and has always been teetering on the edge of his anger issues and superiority complex, so losing that consistent presence gives them space to filter in.

He’s defensive about his brother and how he’s still low in the rankings and he’s also insecure in comparison to his brother (oh the contradictions). Because even though he knows he’s still just a kid, its hard not to feel bad about yourself when your older sibling is doing incredible things. And as canon would suggest, the unfortunate punching bag for Bakugo’s ire is little baby Deku.

I think in Kunigami’s case I definitely think some of his canon insecurities carry over. I think that man for sure has like a super strength type quirk in one fashion or another, and it is very useful but it doesn’t give him the stamina or instinct or what not right off the bat. He does well through out school and even as a side kick, but he’s not blowing the lid off the whole industry. And I don’t think that’s what he wants exactly, he just wants to be a hero people can look up to, but he’s still an egoist when it comes down to it. And not being the best fucking sucks.

I don’t think he pulls back from Bakugo on purpose by any means, but being a hero is a demanding job and it makes you choose what you have time for even if it isn’t a fully conscious choice. I think he stills gives time to his family, but he chooses to prioritize his dream.

I think Bakugo definitely has mixed feelings about his brother at this point. Like he respects him and looks up to him so freaking much, and whenever he rarely stops by at home he hangs off of Kunigami’s every word, but he’s also really frustrated that his brother doesn’t reciprocate that interest and effort towards connection.

Things kind of come to a head when Bakugo enters UA, because most of canon remains the same and Deku gets one for all. But also, the slime incident still happens. And I think Kungami, no matter how hard he tries, isn’t there to save his brother. And Bakugo’s a kid, he’s older now but he’s still a kid and all he wanted in that moment was for his brother to be there for him and instead it was Deku who’s he’s used to dump his insecurities on for years.

I do think they reconcile as the story goes on though. There’s no way that Kunigami isn’t a part of the operation save Bakugo when he gets captured by the league of villains. And I do think that’s a big deal for him. Maintaining that connection is what really cements things though, because that takes long term effort. It means taking the time to be a part of Bakugo’s life despite the fact that he’s now a relatively big name hero. And I do think he’d help Bakugo to let go of some of his anger and both work to towards the dream of being heroes that can truly help people.

Well there’s my brain blast about all this sjfbjsnnnskejfj, it was purely stream of consciousness and it’s just my thoughts on what might happen so I’d be curious what other people think. I wrote this out at work over the course of about an hour so its not proofread and its rough as hell, but if I didn’t trick my brain into doin it right this second it just wasn’t gonna happen ajrhhwjfjwjfj Hope you enjoyed my rambling about two guys who look and think just alike enough that it made me go crazy go stupid ajdjajjfjwjfbb and thank you to @bittercoffeeonmykeyboard for enabling me and telling me this was a good thought anndjabfbsb

(Also ignore the fact that I called him Kunigami through this whole thing despite it being their last names asjfnnwnngnn maybe they’re half brothers or soemthing, but really that’s just what they are in my head so I called them that lmao)

Man I wish I could ever bring myself to sit down and write the things that I think about😫 I’ve been brain blasting about this AU where Kunigami blue lock is Bakugo’s older brother, but I just haven’t written it down!! The executive dysfunction is executive disfunctioning

[timesnewreader]

Some last thoughts I had after talking with a @dwendemound were that Kunigami would ask Bakugo to be his sidekick as like a gesture of commitment in this new stage of their relationship, and I think Bakugo would actually say no. Like part of him thinks that would be the coolest thing ever and his brother is acknowledging his potential, but Bakugo is committed to his own dream too. And when it comes down to it sidekicking for Endeavor the #1 hero is a better opportunity than doing it for someone like Kunigami. It might sound mean, but I think it’s something of a turning point in the maturation of their relationship. Bakugo is starting to see Kunigami as a peer, as just another guy instead of quite literally hero worshipping him. He still really admires him, but he wants to be a great hero in his own right or even better. He is a kid with a competitive spirit after all.

If things really go ham and follow canon, Bakugo’s near death experience in the fight against AFO would shake Kunigami to his core. Like I’m not brain blasting so hard that I know what exactly Kunigami would be doing in that fight. But I can see him sitting over Bakugo’s body and just cradling him in his arms while Edgeshot tries to save him. And like panels cutting back to the day Bakugo was born when Kunigami was a kid and the first time he got to hold his baby brother. And how much it meant to be that kids hero and to be there for him no matter what. And the thought that in trying to be the best hero for everyone, he lost sight of being a hero for the person most important to him. That failed to protect him, and to see how much Bakugo could do on his own and how much he was willing to sacrifice, and how m he Kunigami would give everything to have last chance to be there for his brother. And then when Bakugo wakes up he knows that ti be a hero for him means to be there for his brother, to acknowledge him and his capabilities, and to be a part of his life because cares and he really wants to be there. And then they help in the conclusion of the fight with AFO and Shigaraki together. And they like punch them in the balls or something anfbjsnfbnnsn

I think as they get older and Bakugo finally graduates and Kunigami rises in the rankings they might work together more. They work really hard to maintain a close relationship whether or not they’re working, but they definitely respect each other’s boundaries. Bakugo wants to be a great hero in his own right, and Kunigami respects that above all else. And Bakugo still secretly has all of his brother’s merch lmao. I think eventually, after they can both say they’ve succeeded as hero’s on their own, they might open an agency together. In day to day life they still don’t work super closely, but they’re committed to the same dream and they’re better together than when they’re apart, so why not foster the growth of new talent that way. Be the hero for those people that they were to each other, and help them grow into dependable and courageous heroes.

Got kinda sappy there at the end but it’s 2am so sue me asjrnnwjtjnej night all✌️

Man I wish I could ever bring myself to sit down and write the things that I think about😫 I’ve been brain blasting about this AU where Kunigami blue lock is Bakugo’s older brother, but I just haven’t written it down!! The executive dysfunction is executive disfunctioning