#timeblindness: it's what's for dinner

[audiovisualrecall]

All of a sudden it's real to me. My family are going to Florida for my cousin's wedding literally right after voting and I'm a ball of anxiety and I'm going to be basically home alone for 2.5 weeks, my sisters are coming back the same week but my parents decided to drive there and back, so I'm on my own for over 2 weeks, and idk what's going to happen with the election, I'm afraid all the time and my sister is in her own universe like she can get chik Fila and shop at hobby lobby but also be against the candidate they support with her money, and I'm sitting here and I'm so anxious I'm so afraid, and in angry, and I'm afraid, and I try to sink into time blindness and fall fun and I go to work and plan for the department for Thanksgiving and even next Valentine's Day and the whole time I don't really believe I'll make it to either, or that it'll matter, or that there will be anything at all to celebrate by Thanksgiving. I'm afraid of the trumpers whether they win or lose, I'm afraid of being a target, and I'm afraid for people who will be targets, I'm afraid of the anger and the hate and afraid of the violence that my bones are certain is to come, I'm afraid to try and plan or think or daydream or enjoy anything because time slips away and the future comes whether I want it or not, whether I notice it or not, and I'm afraid and anxious about being anxious later, and I'm trapped by other people's choices and my own, and there's nothing I can do, I'm afraid for my parents visiting places that could be more pro-trump than they're expecting, I'm afraid there will be problems for any of them getting back home if things turn chaotic. I'm afraid I can't manage for 2 weeks even if everything goes well. I'm afraid and I'm unable to even fathom what I'll do if he wins, I don't want to have to live with it, and I don't have a choice, and no one else wants to talk about it, not even about how I'm going to make things work while they're away, or considering my anxiety which is getting so bad that idk what to do, but I'm too good at hiding it by just avoiding stuff and pretending and letting adhd timeblindness win. I'm not doing it on purpose. Please help me not have a mental breakdown and/or end up having panic and anxiety attacks for 2.5 weeks straight. Please do we even have plans for what to do if things turn ugly? I'm anxious I'm anxious I'm anxious. I can't go eat dinner I'm anxious I'm anxious I'm anxious I don't know what to do

[other-peoples-coats]

Oh hey fellow aussies tax deadline's 31st Oct, which is monday; if you haven't already, lodge your fuckin tax return.

[knickynoo]

Any thoughts™️ or headcanons about Marty and his ADHD and executive disfunction Bc I heard you bring it up before?

ehgivjkfnwofhlekj YES. Also, you have opened such a can of worms in giving me free rein to talk about this. I have many thoughts about ADHD Marty and love talking about this and ADHD in general Because Of Reasons so.... *dumps out contents of head onto blog post*

• So yeah, Marty has ADHD because I mean...have you seen the kid? I think he’d probably be the “combined” type since he seems to definitely have features of hyperactivity and can also be inattentive and easily distracted. 

• Obviously, this doesn’t bode well for him school-wise. Strickland seems to just dislike the McFly family in general, but I can imagine Marty might be considered a bit of a slacker by the rest of his teachers too, due to his difficulty focusing/ sitting still / keeping track of assignments. Also, this is the 80s. There is a very little chance of anyone realizing he’s got ADHD and making any moves to address it or accommodate him. So Marty’s probably one of those kids who can’t stand school and is always barely treading water as he tries to navigate all that’s expected of him in an environment totally not built for anyone who isn’t neurotypical. 

• There’s just...a lot of executive dysfunction going on here. Marty strikes me as the type to be so focused on his own thoughts/ what he’s going to say next, that he tunes out the person speaking to him or interrupts them. (There’s a little bit of this in the movies, esp that scene in the mall lot where Marty starts asking questions about the DeLorean & the suit Doc is wearing and Doc is all Stay focused, I’ll answer your questions eventually. Plus the scene in part II where Marty is just like, wandering away, about to explore the future and Doc has to drag him back, all the while Marty is just talking about being a rockstar).

• He’s super impulsive. For examples, see, um...the entirety of the trilogy.

• Timeblindness. Which isn’t helped at all by the fact that his watch is broken, lol. See: Marty being late for school the previous 3 days, deciding to change his entire outfit when there’s literally no room for error in getting to the clock tower, setting the DeLorean to only 10 minutes earlier in an attempt to save Doc, etc.

• Dave’s “You sleep in your clothes again?” line tells us Marty has done this before, probably because he just can't be bothered to/bring himself to get changed at night. So, he just crashes in whatever he’s wearing at the moment and his family has to remind him to change into new clothes. 

• Has problems with rejection and reacts to things in extremes. One rejection at the audition sends him straight to I’m never gonna be good enough, why even bother, I’m gonna give up music FOREVER. And I can imagine that Marty is that way with most things. Like, as soon as he’s unsure of himself or doesn’t do well at something, he spirals and shuts down, which is why Doc has to constantly remind him to put his mind to things. 

• Speaking of Doc...he totally knows Marty’s got ADHD (known only as ADD in the 80s). He saw an article about it one day while reading through scientific/medical journals, and a lightbulb went off above his head as he connected the dots. He even speaks to Marty about it one day in the hopes that understanding what’s going on will help Marty figure out strategies to help in day-to-day life. Doc is super supportive, allowing Marty the freedom to be who he is and do whatever he needs in order to feel focused/calm. He’s sure to explain things in a variety of ways when they work so that Marty understands, he recognizes when Marty needs air and will send him out on a walk with Einie, and he’s completely unfazed when Marty is doing circles in the lab, chatting a mile a minute and fiddling with things he finds laying around. 

• I have this lovely little headcanon (that makes an appearance in a couple of BTTF fics that may never see the light of day) where Doc uses tools and fasteners around the lab to make fidget toys for Marty. You know those nuts and bolts pencil toppers? Like, it’s literally a colorful bolt with a wing nut? He makes those, and Marty holds onto and uses them while they work/ at home/ even discretely at school sometimes. 

• Doc also makes the connection that weighted items keep Marty grounded and help with a lot of sensory issues. One day, Marty is like, even more all over the place than usual. Just a blur of energy and anxiety and chaos. Doc is like, Um...are u ok? Maybe you should lie down ??? or something?? So Marty does, and Einstein goes right ahead and jumps on the bed and plops himself right on top of Marty, who becomes completely calm and falls asleep. And so, while Marty cannot walk around wearing a dog at all times, Doc is like, L A Y E R S?? and we all know how Marty dresses so....  

• Last thing! Original timeline McFlys aren’t understanding at all of Marty’s various quirks and just don’t understand him at all. He’s constantly stifled in that house, told to sit still, be quiet, calm down, etc. He’s always getting yelled at for forgotten chores or bad grades or whatever, so he kind of learns to just repress his energy and emotions to avoid getting into trouble. (See dinner scene where our normally exuberant and talkative Marty sits completely still and says three entire words)

• Improved timeline McFlys are much more aware and in-tune to Marty. They’re understanding and supportive, doing whatever they can to help Marty be happy and successful in school and life in general. 

And...I will stop myself there. Thanks for the ask! This was a lot of fun to think/write about. I saw the ask this morning and was like !!!!!!!!! all day, lol.