#time to then reblog a bunch of stuff after posting so this gets buried and thus i do not have to think about it 👍

[keylovesstuff]

Hiii Everyone!!!

I've been around for years now and have never introduced myself. mainly cause I just choose to vibe and enjoy the posts people share, but first time for everything. You can just call me Key, I'm 25 and I go by she/her. I enjoy a variety of stuff from manwha, manga, anime, video game franchises, and just a bunch of other animated media you name its probably buried down in my blog somewhere. Every now and then I get motivation to create fanfiction. I have only written works the Dragonball and Super Mario fandom All my works are under the "Keep Reading". My DMs and askbox here is always open if you ever want to chat I apologize in advance if I come across as a bit awkward (socializing is not a strong suit of mine) or if it takes me a minute to reply (adulting and hobbies am I right?), otherwise I'm a pretty chill person. Thats about it!

One of these days I really want to change my Penname...But I've had it for years now and I'm way too attached to it lmao.

Super Mario Fics: So a lot of these are Princess Peach centric and I'm just crafting up an origin story and some other events following the 2023 film. The links take you to the tumblr post but I have included the AO3 and FFN (for reading preferences) links either in the original post itself or in the case of my earlier stuff in the reblogs.

Lost And Found

A Learning Opportunity (2 chapters on both AO3 and FFN. They are both on the same post here)

Thoughts Over Tea

Aftermath

Finding The Balance

Little Events (Finished)

Chapter 1: The Dark

Chapter 2: A Decision

Chapter 3: The Coronation

Chapter 4: Proposals

Chapter 5: Changes

Fics Inspired by others:

Villainess Peach and Bowser Jr. (Inspired by the Player One Luigi AU created by Tiny-Prom and Casual-Derg). Please make sure to their blog's and check it out.

Dragonball Fics: The first fandom I have ever written for (and by penname you could probably tell what I read mostly) I have only shared them on FFN and AO3 until now. I was just starting to write fanfiction with the first two so they might be kinda cringe I guess but that's 16 year old me for you haha. gonna embrace the cringe by sharing it on here anyways.

Tournament Day

The Prince Before The Day ( I am never gonna finish that one or go back to it lol)

Bulla's Easter Day

Even when I started making fics I'm still not sure what goes through my mind when it comes to the title or chapter titles its literally the first thing that comes to mind and nothing after that but we will get it one day for sure.

Here's Some WIPs (that's both written and not) you guys can look forward too from me. I'll remove them and add them under the appropriate fic tags once I post them:

Uncle Yamcha fic: It is currently three chapters. The first one is him and Trunks, second is Marron, and the third one is Bra/Bulla. I really want to think of one for him and Goten but nothing has come to my mind. I just think he's more close to Krillin and Bulma where he'd interact more with their kids and I can't think of a scenario for him and Goten or what they would even talk about but maybe something will come. (I've currently sent this off to my Beta for review but lemme know if you guys want to see the un-beta'd version I have on here cause I'm really forward to sharing it)

Untitled EOZ fic following after Goku leaves the Tournament grounds to train Uub. This one sits at about 8k words (not sure exactly cause I added a bunch of notes at the end for my beta to see where my thoughts were going with it all) anyways this one focuses mainly on Trunks, Goten, Marron, Pan, and Bra as really the older kids look forward to what may lie ahead. A lot of it is just me focusing on the dynamics they have with each other. When I saw that dlc for kakorat was going to be focused on that one that really makes me want to share this one. Again let me know if you want to see that.

Based on this Ask here you can already see that I've completed 4 out of my 5 ideas so that leaves the other ones and maybe more if I think of anything else. All of these will probably be added to my Little Events fic. a few little ideas not shared here but I've thought about and have some dialoge in mind but haven't fully created yet.

I want to do something where Mario and Haru interact I just think it'll be so neat.

Maybe something where I do my take on introducing Sarasland and Princess Daisy. Probably along the lines of Peach meeting Daisy for the first time.

I need to hop on the wholesome bros. content at some point and I know I wanna try my hand with Mia and Pio as a part of it.

I think thats it for now...I'll probably add more if I think of something as having somwhere to put it down no matter how small it is can be nice to look at and push me towards getting it done.

[kayrockerqog]

imma compress all my td2023 season two thoughts into one post, so spoilers below particularly for the final four/five episodes

Okay so, I can't be the only one who's super tired of Caleb by the end of the season, right? Like, no, I don't dislike him as a character necessarily, hell, we didn't have much to go off of for a GOOD while, and I'm certainly glad they actually gave him some substance. But like...really? Putting him in the FINALE? Extending his arc so long that it keeps PRIYA in until the final FOUR?? It just makes them both feel like they overstayed their welcome, especially when people like Damien, Zee and Raj got shafted in favour of their plotline, which was ultimately super exhausting compared to others. It also just felt a little...off, especially for Caleb's teammates in the finale basically being "Team Not Julia," that just felt...so sad. And not in a way that was really earned since he was super wishy-washy for the latter half of the game, especially after Damien was eliminated. Like girl how can you go from having nothing to having too much?? What is this, rags to riches? And just to get all of the kinda low points of the season IMO:

Damien was just straight up robbed, and his elimination left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth?? Like there ain't no way DAMIEN would be dumb enough and/or not paranoid enough to NOT take the idol with him to elimination, like, ON HIS PERSON. I don't care that it was hidden at the campfire, there is no way anyone with his personality, especially after saying he moves the damn thing like four times a day, would NOT KEEP IT ON HIM DURING THE CEREMONY!! That's just an unnecessary risk and it got him taken out. Also, Priya voting him out made DOUBLE no sense, like I get Wayne and Raj being sentimental and all but why would Priya vote him over someone else?? I'm still not over Zee's elimination either. Like, yeah, I get why, he spilled a bunch of tea about everybody, but did they just FORGET THE FIRST AND ARGUABLY MOST IMPORTANT BIT OF TEA??? THAT CALEB WAS FUCKING WITH PRIYA'S HEAD??? Why did they spare him of that? Caleb should've gotten more fucking consequences for not updating Zee on the development, especially when you made him PROMISE NOT TO SAY ANYTHING!!! However, there's a lot of good stuff too that I absolutely adored about the later episodes:

MK and Julia's farewell felt really fitting, even if I felt MK should've stayed over her, plus the hug??? the mutual respect??? Chef's commentary???? real. Raj and Wayne continue to be completely endearing, both with Raj's elimination and Wayne's obvious love and care for him even when he's not there. I mean FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, his worst fear at the time was having to compete AGAINST Raj instead of with him!!! How precious is that?? Plus the HUG????? RAJ'S FAREWELL?????? EVERYTHING ABOUT IT HAS ME SO GIDDY MAN!! "Bowie, get your dancing shoes!" me, being buried in a pile of the hearts swirling around my head and also just, Bowie in the finale being an icon, as usual, even if he isn't competing. His friendship with Wayne as a result of his relationship with Raj and how he's adapted to their ways of thinking is SO!!!!! GAH!!!!!! HE LEARNED THE HOCKEY TALK!!!!! IM WEAK!!!!!! And everyone on Wayne's team being so genuinely happy to support him, especially those I genuinely would not have expected to be there (Axel, Ripper, Chase) but when I think about it, it makes PERFECT sense, and I'm just,,, AGH!!!!! And while the final three and winner may not have been my first choices, I am ultimately pleased with the ending. Wayne winning makes up for the exhaustion of other plotlines in the season, and really, he played fair and square and won. Much as I wanted Julia to win, I'm glad he did.

now that ive actually seen all the episodes I'm gonna be,,, insane and reblog so much td stuff because obviously, so,, AND IF ANYONE WANTS TO ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS FEEL FREE!!! I WOULD LOVE TO TALK MORE IN DEPTH ABOUT MY THOUGHTS OF THE SEASON!!

[swampndn]

Hee hee it's midnight, so imma drop a dear diary then reblog a bunch of stuff to bury it. So for those who make it through the random posts, enjoy an ounce of my vulernability.

So I burned medicine tonight, and I spoke to someone I've not been speaking to because I didn't feel ready. And the sheer amount of information I got was beyond overwhelming. I would just go into it here, but there are folks irl that I should talk to about them first when it's time.

I will share one little thing, though. One of the things I was told to do was have a commemoration day. Other folks earth-side have said the same thing too. WELL, after being kind of drawn to a specific day, I got the very clear affirmation that it's on the 22nd.

Growing up, people would ask what my favorite number was, and I just kept picking 2. That's it. Just lil ol 2. And I know this is probably silly or delulu, as the kids say, but it felt really comforting getting the 22nd. I'm not one of those that is like everything happens for a reason, because I don't think Creator has us go through awful things to "teach us some lesson". However, something as small as that does make me think that Creator does give us little things to signal that while shit is shitty, the love and care and intention all of our ancestors prayed for us persists through it all.

Omg look at me transitioning from my mean auntie NDN into whatever gentle soft NDN shit this is

[justkeepwalkingnothinghere]

(I recently reblogged my most recent poll and dropped a bunch of Castor lore in said reblog. Decided to make it it’s own post instead of being buried under a bunch of other stuff. The poll in question was asking when Castor should confess his crush to Raeda, either at Hexside when they were kids or after Eda’s Requiem roughly 30 years later)

Figured I should do a little bit of lore dumping for this instead of leaving you all in the dark. This isn’t to manipulate the votes in any way and is merely to give you all some insight on where the story will go depending on the results. Also my brain was nagging me to tell you some parts of the story, so. A few details may be subject to change.

WARNING: VERY LONG!! IT IS VERY DETAILED!! (I meant to summarize it but I ended up dumping almost the entire plot. This has been in my drafts for the last 72+ hours. Here you go!)

At Hexside: This route is fairly simple and self explanatory. After Castor’s crush on them is pointed out to him by Darius (who doesn’t want a repeat of all the pining he had to endure with Raeda), he spends some time coming to terms with it, worried that his feelings will disrupt the close best friend circle that had formed between him, Raine, and the Clawthornes. During this time, he and Lilith snuck away to Eda’s hideout in the detention room a few times as his feelings developed. Unfortunately, one day during lunch Castor forgot about a prank he was doing with Eda and Raine during that time and they overheard his and Lily’s conversation, making for a very awkward and ill-timed confession that he wasn’t quite ready for.

After a couple weeks of the three silently evaluating how they all felt about each other, they slowly starting dating. And a month and a half in, it was safe to say the trio were head over heels for each other. But things changed a lot once Eda’s curse came into the picture. Castor, Raine, Lilith, even Darius, were all there for her through the first couple of months before she eventually dropped out. Things at Hexside weren’t the same afterward. Well, at least until Eda started sneaking in and spending most of her time in her hideout. Raine, Castor, or both would bring her lunch everyday she was there and sometimes stay for a bit to hang out and talk. But Eda hiding out stopped after a while. Faust had no idea, but even decades later, it’s still up for debate whether or not Bump knew about it. He probably did. (I’m not gonna mention Lilith much after this point since I’m not entirely sure what happens after coven tryouts)

Everyone spent four more years at Hexside before graduating, in which they tried to stay in contact. Castraeda (official ship name) stayed together for years, with Raine teaching Castor the mandolin and Eda teaching him how to play Raine’s Rhapsody. Unfortunately, the curse got worse during this time and Eda quickly began to push the two away. The Raeda breakup occurred while Castor was away, with him soon hearing about it from Lilith. It was a shock to him, but he too was starting to take notice of Eda’s recent behavior. Castor and Raine tried to make it work (with Raine quickly regretting their breakup with Eda) but, as much as it hurt them, ultimately decided to break it off as well and wish each other luck in their endeavors as Raine joined the Bard Coven.

Castor went to comfort Eda soon after, not intending to separate. He stayed at the Clawthorne house with her and Gwen for a few days (Gwen adores him) before they reached a mental understanding that it was time for them to split as well, both unsure about their futures. They made sure to stay friends no matter what happened, but despite everyone’s best efforts to do so, all three of them went their separate ways and mostly went silent for the time being. Raine spent years rising through the ranks of the Bard Coven, Eda went on to become the Owl Lady, and Castor spent a few years undercover as a scout at the EC to gather as much info on Belos as he could as he started to get suspicious of the emperor’s practices. He later switched to a quiet life as a merchant at the market, always taking note of Eda’s many wanted posters, and occasionally talking to Lily when she had the chance.

Later on, a few years after Eda found King, Castor unofficially moved into the Owl House when his home was attacked by Emperor’s Coven scouts who found out he was a wild witch. He figured who else to go to than the most famous wild witch in the isles? King was a bit weird around him and the new change, but warmed up to him as time went on. They never really talked about getting back together, thinking it too soon after reuniting to do so and neither of them brought it up. They were going to stay strictly friends until they felt the time was right, which was never. Surprisingly, this never got difficult when Luz decided to stick around, but as soon as Raine was announced as the new head Bard, Castor knew things were about to get awkward.

And he was sort of right. Later that same day, he and Eda joined the BATs and began helping the group free wild witches. That day, he had never been more relieved to see Raine and Eda together. His feelings for both of them returned with full force and he started pining for those wonderful days again, where it was just the three of them. Not to mention he kicked himself for days for not getting back together with Eda sooner, having already thought about it ever since her near petrification gave him a wake up call. Raine’s presence was all it took for the trio to fall back into a familiar rhythm of sorts. A couple hours into the night, one teary eyed confession from Castor and one wonderful embrace later, they were the happiest they’d been in a long while.

But it would all have to be put on hold, as Eda and Castor’s hearts were shattered when Raine got captured. They were both distraught and had a little bit of trouble sleeping that night, despite the immense joy about King becoming a Clawthorne. And the Coven Day Parade didn’t help things. Castor was ecstatic when Eda managed to find them, only to be met with a version of Raine completely unrecognizable to him, one clearly being controlled by Terra Snapdragon. He watched and heard Eda and Raine’s fight from the nearby rooftops, his heart breaking more with every word out of Raine’s mouth. He and Eda couldn’t believe what had happened for a while after.

Now, due to Castor’s spur of the moment confession of still having feelings for them both, Eda and Castor slowly started to get a bit more affectionate. They were slowly but surely falling back into old ways. This lasted for weeks and became stronger in the days leading up to the DOU, when they needed comfort most. They were both more than a little pissed with Raine when they found out about the pretend brainwashing shortly after being rescued. But they were relived Raine was okay more than anything. Eventually, all was forgiven, especially after Raine met Luz for the first time. Which Castor thought was adorable.

It was that night when everyone else was asleep at the CATTs base that they were able to talk about their feelings a lot more than they were able to in Eda’s Requiem. Deep down, they all wanted to give things another go once all the chaos was over. And that was exactly what they were gonna do, never having stopped loving each other, which was obvious to everyone but them. Admittedly, Castor couldn’t hold in much of his enthusiasm and excitement over the next 24 hours. But as you could guess, things did not go well, starting with Castor being asked to accompany the Hexsquad in rescuing Amity, with him being the only adult in the group not directly involved with stopping the Draining Spell. Not a problem at first, but a heartbreaking fact later on.

From rescuing Luz, to feeling broken seeing the plan fail with Eda and Raine caught right in the middle, to fighting off Belos and ending up in the Human Realm, everything was a blur until he was truly able to process it all and catch his bearings that same night. He and Camila stayed up late, Castor sharing stories with her over coffee and ensuring her that he’d be there for any difficulties that they’d run into in the time everyone would be there. They formed a close friendship in the months staying with her, never moving past that point but putting quite a bit of trust in each other. It felt nice having someone to lean on when the anxiety of the situation became too much.

Castor kept thinking about the BI. Especially Raeda, fearing that the were gone without ever being able to say a proper goodbye or spend their last minutes with them. But he kept his hopes up that he’d see them again. He never let up in attempting to get the portal working. Despite the little bit of trauma from seeing Hunter get possessed, Castor helped Camila get an understanding of her surroundings, regaling her with even more tales of the wonder that was the Demon Realm. (Everything after this point is pure speculation since they haven’t reunited with Eda and King yet)

Words could not describe how happy he was to see Eda, safe and sound. He couldn’t help but cry as they embraced, having missed her and Raine beyond belief. They even shared a quick dance, completely caught in the moment. Just Eda and her sweet Spellcastor. Let’s let them have this moment for a bit longer. Because Titan knows how it’s gonna be once they find out their precious Rainestorm/Songbird is possessed by Belos.

(I did not mean to go this deep into detail, but my brain would not stop. Oh well)

After Eda’s Requiem: Almost everything above, except Castor held onto his feelings for roughly 30 or so years before finally letting it out before the DOU because he figured if things go south, he’d much rather go out knowing that Eda and Raine knew about it after all this time. He still hears about the Raeda breakup through a crow call from Lilith and ends up in the Human Realm with the kids, the reunion with Eda being a bit awkward, with neither knowing how to go about their feelings during the end of the world. He’s still going to be upset at finding out about Belos/Puppet!Raine.

Like I said, details are subject to change. Enjoy the lore everyone! Hexside TL;DR below.

Hexside TL;DR: The three get together at Hexside, break up years later in young adulthood, spend 15-20 years going about their lives, Castor moves in with Eda a few years after King comes into her life, the three reunite in Eda’s Requiem with Castor admitting he still has feelings, E and C’s hearts break with Raine being “brainwashed”, all three really discuss their feelings 24 hours before the DOU, Castor ends up in the HR with the kids, cries when he reunites with Eda months later (At this point they still don’t know about Belos!Raine).

Now let’s see how everything plays out.

Original poll.

[eemoo1o-animoo]

You know, typically I don’t include myself in this BS, but this is ridiculous.

Firstly, the fact that you term “freaks” as affectionate in the post and yet in the tags it reads as otherwise… god.

Secondly, I looked at the notes before replying to this. People are all agreeing with this post, and saying “don’t like, don’t read” and the latter is just so contradictory, hypocritical, because yeah.

Don’t like don’t read: most of us don’t fucking read. I even have the Sebaciel tag blocked for this reason, for Pete’s sake, just like with Cielstar and so on. Presumably this is OP’s stance also, but then you make a post (several, if I’m not mistaken) in the Kuro tag that comes after us for us not reading? What?

We don’t like it! Most of us just turn our heads. Get over yourself.

And I can only imagine you didn’t tag this so the post would get more visibility with “antis”? Tag your posts, because if that is the actual reason and not it just slipping your mind, then that is just weird. Freakish, some might say.

Additionally, DNIs are there for a reason — I’ve never complained about a lack of blogs that “aren’t freaks” because some freaks either block me themselves after seeing my DNI or don’t base their whole existence and every single post on Sebaciel! And that’s not just me — several others feel this way.

In fact, I have the tag blocked so that I can avoid liking / reblogging a post that may have the tag buried under a bunch of other tags when looking through posts on a non-explicitly proship blog. Same goes for my followers — if you’re a Sebaciel shipper, you can follow me, as long as you don’t tag my posts as Sebaciel. It breaks my heart to think whatever I put out can be interpreted that way.

I think dishing out what you wish to be served is an apt analogy for this fucking vehement post. Not just OP, but everyone in the notes too! Don’t complain that antis are complaining about the pros and then complain about the pros! Don’t say we’re complaining about unable to find “non-freak” blogs when your side of the community does the same! At least not without tagging appropriately. (Tagging Sebac1el or S3baciel or whatever to “tag accordingly” but also avert the filters just also isn’t on.)

We don’t send discourse into the Sebaciel tag (the majority of us, anyway) looking for some sort of acknowledgment or reaction (which I know that I am giving — who am I? B.F. Skinner?), so don’t send it unmarked with the tag for those who literally have the tag blocked.

The manga has some baiting moments, but has anything actually been stabilised beyond Yana’s past works unrelated to Kuro? No! And until then, there will always be a fence splitting the fandom-neighbourhood down the middle. Stay in your lane and we’ll stay in ours (and, if you have to, block me!). This is the only time I’ll give my genuine stance on this sort of stuff, albeit a bit annoyedly.

I cannot take Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler antis seriously. Like there is no way you are a fan of that and still an anti, it's not physically possible. You cannot watch or read Kuroshitsuji and somehow completely miss all the very explicit sebaciel hints and vibes and shotabait. You're either a stealth freak (affectionate) or a fucking bot but there is no way you're real.

[shotorozu]

hi lovely, i hope u doing well (if not i hope things get better for u). if it’s not too much trouble could you do some fluffy domestic hcs w shinsou? have a good day!!

being domestic

character(s) : shinsou hitoshi (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns, quirk not mentioned, pro hero au because,, domestic life.

headcanon type : fluff, like.. a lot of it (x reader)

note(s) : idk why i haven’t done this yet even though it’s been requested a bunch of times (it most likely got buried) so sorry for the delay! anyway, i’ll be posting something later, i just wrote this bc i had extra time

also, i had to search up what domestic was 💀 IM SORRY 😭 I DIDNT GROW UP WITH ANY MODEL EXAMPLE

➽───────────────❥

shinsou hitoshi

since this is like,, a pro hero au

i must say that i headcanon hitoshi to be a night time/underground hero— gotta take advantage of the insomnia, am i right?

he spends most of his day indoors, probably doing extra unfinished paper work, resting, and other miscellaneous stuff.

if he’s graced with luck, you’ll also be staying inside with him— and he’ll be practically leeching onto you (at least until 8pm, when he needs to grind on that pro hero work)

but if you’re out, you’re probably doing your own thing— depending if you’re also a pro hero just maybe not the night shift type of hero or a regular citizen

if you’re a pro hero and if you want— he’ll make you lunch in his apron, that most likely has a cat print embroidered on it and he’ll deliver the lunch at your agency when lunch break hits

if you’re a citizen, he’ll do the same thing as mentioned above— but he’ll probably do it as a surprise if he knew you had absolutely nothing to eat for lunch

so! with that being said, the chances of you seeing hitoshi during the time period of 9:30pm to 4am is kinda rare

even though hitoshi does try to make the most of his time with you

to make up for his absence during the night, he’ll leave his very oversized hoodies around the house for you to wear

or better yet, he’ll just hang his sweater around your shoulders as he kisses you goodbye :,)

and if the streets are calmer, he’ll even drop by your shared apartment/house just to say hello

or just so he could sneak in bed and cuddle with you, he’s touch starved

speaking of hitoshi being an insomniac, when he’s on his off days— he’ll spend the night just,, looking at you. it has always been a habit of his.

even though you beg him not to do that because sleep is very important

like it might sound strange but i promise it’s not. you’ll either be laying on his lap, or resting in his arms as you slept

and he’ll just, trace his hands over your features. it’s calming to him.

but when you’re staying up with him, the situation is definitely different.

sometimes it’ll be another intense cuddle session while you guys watched a mukbang or a tv show you both really like

and sometimes, the both of you guys will be up at like,, 3 am, just browsing cat pictures

and it’ll just be the two of you discussing about what breed you guys want to adopt even if you already have a cat, hitoshi thinks that another one wouldn’t hurt you both

“Y/N, what about this cat? looks cute, right?” “hitoshi, that’s a persian cat. very high maintenance.” “we can handle it.”

cat discussions aside, the times the both of you actually get a good night rest is heavenly.

the first thing you’ll see is hitoshi laying right next to you, his hold tightens when you try to leave the bed for the bathroom/kitchen

and ultimately, your movements cause him to wake up, causing hitoshi to haul you towards him closer than ever.

he’s the one that makes breakfast usualky, so when you’re sitting down after setting up the table

you just,,

GAWK AT HIS BACK

his back profile is top tier. and he knows it, why? because he’ll cook breakfast shirtless omg

and the rest of the day will be spent taking impromptu naps, watching documentaries, and making interesting debates

this purple haired boyfriend of yours takes care of the spiders and cockroaches. sometimes he’ll murder kill them whenever they start flying, or if it manages to crawl onto you

most of the times, he’ll just grab a broom and sweep them outside.

whenever you wash the dishes, he’ll sneak up behind you, and cuddle you— holding you by the waist as he takes in your scent

practically does the same whenever you do laundry, and encourages you to do the same whenever he does the laundry/dishes

hops in the shower whenever you’re in the shower— and offers to wash your back when you can’t reach that one pesky spot

or he’ll just sit on the toilet as you do your thing, handing you things like your shampoo, or your body wash whenever you ask

and it never gets uncomfortable, since you can practically tell when he enters the bathroom and you can always kick him out if you didn’t want him there

plus, he has no malice intent. your house is a safe place, and he wants you to feel at peace in your own bathroom— let alone house

so in short? domestic shinsou hitoshi is life <3

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[staticscreenwriting]

Where the heart is // B. B.

Summary: Bucky and (Y/N) are getting a divorce because they are silly and both love the other so damn much. (Happy Ending!)

TW: Talk of divorce. Talk of potential pregnancy and babies.

A/N: Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.] 

TAGLIST: Find the link to join my taglist in my bio. Will reblog this post with the taglist attached seperately. 

Waking up from this nightmare How's your life, what's it like there? Is it all what you want it to be? Does it hurt when you think about me? And how broken my heart is

The apartment is deadly quiet as Bucky steps inside, only the rattling of his keys echoing through the halls that once seemed so warm and inviting are now but a cold reminder of what used to be.

People never really talk about these moments. The after. The wreckage. The ruins of what used to be. Sure there are movies and books and countless songs but they take the feeling and they wrap it up in beautiful words and prose and make something beautiful of it.

There’s nothing beautiful in the way Bucky feels as his feet drag him towards what used to be his bedroom, which is now hers. There’s nothing beautiful in the way he feels as his eyes wander over to the closed door behind which lays an empty room. One that is empty not because of choice but because of the shitty cards life has dealt both him and her.

There is nothing beautiful about the way he feels. Only sadness. Only hurt.

When he turns the corner and steps into the bedroom, his heart drops for a second. He hadn’t expected her to be here, not with how quiet the place is. But sure enough, there she is. Sitting on the fluffy comforter they bought together, legs tucked underneath herself. She said that comforter was the exact same shade of blue as his eyes. Now she doesn’t even lift her head to look at him, focusing only on the box resting on the bed before her.

“Hey uh — I didn’t expect to run into you.”  

“ I live here. Sorry to disappoint.“

“ I know, that’s not what I meant. It’s just so quiet. “

She shrugs but still doesn’t look up. There’s so much resentment there, dripping from every word. He can’t fault her for it. Not even a little. If he was her, he’d hate himself too. Maybe this will make it easier for them. If she hates him, that’s a straight cut. Right? Hating is easy. It’s loving that’s hard.

“ It’s like that now. You here to get some of your stuff?” she asks, looking up at him for the first time. Her eyes are red and tired. Not like they were when he left, filled with tears and sorrow. Now they’re just infinitely sad and exhausted. Like all the life and all the warmth and all the passion that he fell so deeply in love with, has been sucked out of her. He hates knowing it’s partially his fault.

“ If that’s okay with you.”

“ sure. “

The movies and the poems and the books and the songs, they never talk about this. The after. The limbo. The “will you keep this or shall I take it?”

They don’t talk about the fact that you’re supposed to pack 5 years of relationship into a bunch of boxes and figure out what to do with it.

He quietly walks into the closet, as if making any noise would break whatever bubble is currently surrounding the two of them. Sometimes he wonders if things would be different had they been different people. Had they been able to express their feelings differently. Sometimes, in the most secret part of his heart, Bucky wishes there would’ve been screaming. Maybe screaming would’ve been helpful. Sure, it’s not the most eloquent way of communication but at least it is communication. But there was no screaming. Only silence. Only feelings swallowed up to never be spoken about. To suffocate them from the inside out.

Making as little noise as possible, Bucky grabs some of his clothes and stuffs them into the duffle bag Sam gave him. He had that look on his face, the pitiful one. The one that says “sorry, man”. There’s no reason to feel sorry for Bucky. This is his fault after all.

There’s a sound coming from behind him, and for a second he really believes it’s his mind playing tricks on him. But then he hears it again, louder this time, more clearly.

She’s laughing. Maybe not a full-on laugh but a chuckle. It’s been a while since he’s heard that sound.

“ What’s got you laughing like that ? “ Bucky asks as he turns back around only to be greeted by her smiling face. God how much he misses that smile.

She looks back down towards the box in front of her and the picture in her hand.

“ It’s uh — it’s a picture of the first time you stayed over. “

His legs carry him towards the bed as if they work on autopilot. As he sits down next to he can just about make out the scent of her shampoo. The one he bought for himself last week, not because he necessarily likes to use it. He bought it because he misses the scent. Because he misses her. And if he can keep her close like this, even for a small moment, he’ll buy an entire store's worth of shampoo.

Her fingers gently grip the picture so as to not rip or crumble it. He can’t hold back the smile that pulls at the corner of his lips as he recognizes the picture. It’s a slightly less gloomy version of him, in love and asleep. Curled up on her old tiny couch in her old tiny apartment with her dog Yoda sleeping soundly on his chest. He was so nervous to stay over at her place the first time he did. Nervous about so many different things but mostly about doing something to hurt her. Physically but also emotionally. To think that now his biggest fear came true, crushes his heart even further.

“ I miss Yoda. He was a good dog,” she says as she puts the photo back into the box. Truth be told, Bucky misses him too. He was grumpy and lazy and he didn’t ever really listen to them. But he was loyal and cuddly and all in all, he was the perfect dog for the two of them. And he had accepted Bucky into his and her life immediately. As if he knew that Bucky of all people needed nothing more than a chance to prove himself to be something other than a killer.

There are more pictures in the box, alongside other clutter that Bucky can’t quite make out. One of the other pictures he can see clearly, is one of the two of them on their first Halloween. The Halloween that Bucky didn’t want to dress up for. The one he promised himself he would spend curled up on his couch watching a scary movie and not open the door to anyone, Trick or Treaters or otherwise.

He ended up going out anyway. With her. FOR her. And it was one of the best nights of his life even if it meant he had to dress up like a skeleton.

“ What is all this? “ he asks though, by the way his heart starts beating faster, Bucky isn’t sure he even wants to know the answer to that question. “ You getting rid of our pictures? “

He doesn’t want it to sound so accusatory. They’re broken up. Separated. In the early process of a divorce. She has every right to get rid of their pictures. Get rid of him. Bury the memories. Just because he can’t let go doesn’t mean that she’s grieving in the same way.

“ No, “ she scoffs and pulls out a small scrap of paper, “ this is a memory box I started when we first got together. It’s things I didn’t know where to put but that I wanted to hold on to. I had planned to give it to you for our 10 year anniversary but … well “

She doesn’t have to say it. He knows.

“ Then after the — seperation I put some other stuff in there. Memories.” 

“ Can I see what else is in there? “ he asks “ since I won’t get to see it on our 10 year anniversary.”

Bucks isn’t quite sure why he adds that to the end of his sentence. It makes him sound spiteful and mean and he can tell, by the look on her face, that it hurts her. And he’s done enough of that in the past. Isn’t that exactly the reason they are here in the first place?

She considers it for a moment and Buck can only guess the different kinds of emotions running through her then. He feels them too. All of them. They are confusing and most of them are negative. She has no reason to let him see this, relish in sweet nostalgia with him as if everything is okay and they’re not getting a fucking divorce.

“ Sure, I guess. I —  yeah.”

She scoots more to the middle of the bed, making more space for Bucky to sit down properly. He’s perched on the side that was his. The side he fell asleep on and woke up on so many times. And she was there next to him. Always there and warm and soft. And she’d smile at him through sleepy eyes and a hazy mind and she’d rival the sun. And then she’d gently comb her fingers through his hair and say good morning and he knew it would be — a good morning.

He hasn’t had a good morning since he left.

She moves the box to sit between them on the bed and motions for Bucky to start digging in.

There’s a pile of what he realizes are old movie tickets. It's something they used to do when they first started dating. Thursdays were movie days. But while everyone went to see the new blockbusters, the two of them would pick the movies that sounded the weirdest and they’d buy a big bucket of popcorn and blue raspberry slushies and just relish in the grandeur that is bad cinema. Most of the time they were the only ones at the cinema. Sometimes things got — R rated.

“ Why did we stop doing this? “ she asks as Bucky looks up from the tickets “ going to the movies I mean. It was always my favorite day of the week. “

He tries to remember. Tries to pinpoint the moment when life changed and their Thursdays weren’t their Thursdays anymore. He can’t. He comes up empty.

Sometimes life changes in little ways, ones you don’t realize at that moment and they don’t seem significant either. It’s a broken tradition. A missed movie night. It’s slow and creeping but at some point, you stop and look at your life now and it doesn’t resemble your life then anymore. Everything has changed and you didn’t even notice. Not for one single second.

“ I have —  I have no idea. “ he has to confess.

“ Remember that movie with the killer florist ? “ she asks and her voice is laced with laughter. Something sparks up in his heart. A tiny flicker of something he’s missed. Something he hasn’t felt in a while. He can’t help but laugh along.

“ I do! Or the one where the woman fell in love with the Koi in her neighbor's pond? ”

“ Oh god! That was terrible. “

“ It was.”

She looks wistful for a moment as if her thoughts wander off to some long-forgotten memory.

“ What are you thinking about? “

He never usually had to ask her. He’d either know or she’d tell him on her own accord. It’s like there’s an invisible wall between them. One he wants to break down or climb over so badly. But does she want him there? After everything?

“ The day we saw that movie was the first time you said I love you. “

It’s true. Now that she mentions it he remembers it so clearly. It’s like he’s suddenly faced with a scene from a movie he’s forgotten about a long time ago but once someone mentions it, he remembers it in great detail. Knows every word. Every line.

“ I still don’t quite know what it was about that moment that made you say it but — “ she trails off, a smile playing on her lips.

Bucky knows. It wasn’t a groundbreaking realization back then. He’d been feeling it for months. Fell deeper in love with her with every glance, every smile, every silly movie he got to watch with her. They went to some dingy diner after the movie to grab a burger and some fries. The leather seats were old and the filling was spilling out, the air smelled of grease and air freshener, and the laminated menu cards were sticky with undefinable stains. All things considered, it should’ve been a bad date. It wasn’t though. Nothing was ever bad with her. She smiled. All she did was smile and hum along to some song Bucky didn’t know as it spilled from the jukebox. And it occurred to him then, that there was no need for a big gesture or a special moment. Every moment with her was special. Life couldn’t get any better than this. Existing was enough if only she was there.

“ Nothing. “

“ Hm? “

“ There was nothing special about that moment. I just realized that I would be okay with anything if only you are there. You — that’s all I need in life. “

She looks at him then and for a second he thinks that maybe she’ll kiss him. Tell him that they are making a mistake and ask him to come back. Tell him that she doesn’t blame him. That she forgives him. That she wants him anyway. Despite — everything. She doesn’t though. Just sighs and pulls another picture from the box.

It’s a picture of the two of them cuddled up on the couch with a tiny white ball of fluff resting on her chest.

“ Our first picture with Alpine. “

“ That was taken on the day we found him. Look, you can clearly see the scratches on my face from crawling around the dumpsters to rescue him. “ Bucky points out.

He had never thought of himself as a cat person. Really he wasn’t so much an anything-person anymore, after Hydra. But somehow that little cat had wormed his way into his heart and refused to leave.

“ Was worth it though! “

Bucky nods his head in agreement “ it was. “

“ You should — you should take him. He’s really more your cat than mine.”

“ He’s our cat.” he points out.

“ Bucky there won’t be an ours anymore. Soon.”

It breaks his heart. Over and over again. He just got used to being himself. The version he was when he was with her. How is he gonna deal with doing it all over again? He doesn’t want to be a version of himself after her.

“ I don’t have a place yet and Sam’s allergic. “

“ He can stay here until then, of course. I love him. “

There’s a lot of love there that’s being given up on, Bucky realizes. And he hates every part of it.

“ Shit, remember this? “ she chimes up again as her hand holds onto a thin receipt, the black ink bleached away and thinned out from years of being stuck in a box. From years of memories fading.

“ Is that from the —”

“ The tattoo place, yeah. “

The patch of skin on the inside of his arm grows hot as if he is suddenly aware of what is there. Something long forgotten. A small letter forever etched into his skin in black ink like the way she’s forever etched into his heart. Always there. Forever. Just like the delicate lines that write his own name onto her collar bone. James. Not Bucky. Not Winter Soldier. James.

“ Oh god, I can’t believe you kept these,” Buck exclaims as he picks a pair of bright blue knitted socks from the box. They’re made from scratchy wool and there are a million and one holes in them. It’s so her. So quintessentially her. To keep them. With their holes and their scratchy wool and all. Even if they’re a mess. Even if they’re broken. She holds onto things no matter how bad. No matter how lost and sad and broken and useless. She holds on tight and doesn’t let go. Unless you make her. Unless you force her to. Unless you break her heart.

“ Umm … you made them for me. Like you literally learned how to knit to make me a pair of socks to keep my feet warm. That is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me, Buck. Of course, I kept them. “

Bucky bashfully shrugs his shoulders, a tint of red dusting his cheeks. “ I’m glad you liked them. Even if they’re scratchy. “

“ I like you and Alpine and you guys are the scratchiest,” she points out. She’s not wrong.

“ Was I a good boyfriend? “ Bucky asks and while in the grand scheme of things it really doesn’t matter, he wants to know anyway. Wants to know he did something right.

“ You were the best boyfriend. “

“ I’m sorry I was a shit husband. “

She stays quiet for a moment and with every second that passes by he breaks more and more. He wonders how much of him is left at this point. How much there’s still to lose. Then again, what does it matter? He lost her and that’s all that really matters.

“ You weren’t a shit husband, Bucky. “

It’s like the world suddenly moves in slow motion as they both grab the 2 things left in the box.

Bucky holds onto the blue velvet box knowing exactly what’s inside. The last time he held it, got on his knees in front of her, put the ring on her finger, that was one of the best days of his life. A sign that the Winter Soldier was his past and that he could finally truly move on. They were younger, in love. Happy. Now he hardly remembers what happiness feels like.

“ I was so nervous to give this to you. Not because I thought you’d say no or anything. I just — I just wanted to be enough. The ring and the proposal and — me. “

“ You were always enough. “ she says and he can hear the tears in her voice. It’s thick and heavy and he knows that if he looks at her now, there will be tears in her eyes too.

But he doesn’t look at her then. His eyes fall onto the piece of fabric in her hands. It’s so small. Soft peached colored with a little bunny embroidered on the front. It’s tiny and cute and it belongs to no one. It’s tiny and it should’ve been theirs. But it isn’t.

“ No, I wasn’t. He says and shakes his head. You deserve more than I can give you. “

She throws the baby romper back into the box and gets off the bed as if someone has set it on fire.

“ What’s wrong? “ he asks as if he doesn’t know. Everything. Everything about this situation is wrong. They’re supposed to make love on this bed, not cry over memories long gone. Push away thoughts of their looming divorce.

“ I don’t know, Bucky. Maybe you can tell me. “ She calls out to him as she pulls the rest of his shirts from the closet and throws them into the bedroom. Colors of fabric flying through the air like wings of a bird flapping through the winds. Some of them she lops at him, passion and anger and wrath and sadness filling her eyes. “ Maybe you can tell me why the fuck we’re doing this. Why we’re putting ourselves through all this pain and suffering and this bullshit divorce. Maybe you can tell me why you left me to have a fucking breakdown every time I walk into my closet and see this goddamn dress, “ she cries while holding up the hanger over which her beautiful white wedding dress is draped. God, she looked so beautiful that day. Like a goddess. Like an angel. Like his redemption.

“ We were happy. We were trying to have a family. And then what — it doesn’t work and you leave? You just gave up. “

“ I didn’t give up. “

“ Yes, you fucking did! You gave up and you served me divorce papers and you didn’t even give me a fucking choice. “

“ You agreed! “

“ Because I love you and if you don’t want to be with me, then I am not keeping you. I love you enough to let you be happy even if it’s without me.”

Those words send a shock through his heart. Like an icicle. Cold and sharp and unforgiving.

“ You think I don’t love you? You think YOU are the reason?,” Bucky questions before grabbing the romper from the box and holding it up “ this is the reason. This is my fault and mine alone. It’s my fault that this belongs to no one. It’s my fault that there’s an empty room in this apartment that you can’t walk into because it hurts you too much to see it empty. You deserve to be a mother and clearly, I can’t give that to you. That’s the burden I carry but it’s not one that should be put on you. I can’t give you this but you deserve it and you should have it. So this is me letting you go so you can find someone that can give you a baby. Someone who isn’t broken. Someone who doesn't have a body that doesn’t work anymore. Not in the way it should. “

“ James, “ her words a but a whisper as his name tumbles from her lips and she lets her wedding dress fall to the floor to sit next to him and hold his face in between her hands. “ That wasn’t your fault and you are not broken. I want a family, yes. I want a child. But with you. I want a family with you and it doesn’t matter if it’s my blood or not. It’s our family whichever way we decide to do this. And if we — if we stay just us and Alpine that’s fine too. I just want you and whatever else we decide on. Together. I love you, James. I love you and I miss you and I don’t want a baby if it’s not with you. A family means nothing if it doesn’t include you. Whatever the consequences of the serum are, they are not your fault. You are not broken, James. You are you. You’re a hero. A husband. And maybe one day a father but above all, you are James Buchanan Barnes, a survivor and you are not broken.  “

He knows he should be saying so many things right then but all his thoughts get tangled up and won't find the way to his lips.

Instead, he says the only other thing he can think about right then.

“ You looked so beautiful in your wedding dress. “

She laughs through the flood of tears that leak from her eyes and trail down her face.

“ I mean you always look beautiful but that day. My god. I honestly couldn’t believe you said yes to me — of all people. 106 year old me. Wouldn’t believe it until the moment you walked down the aisle. Then I knew that this was really the start of my new life. Of my forever. “

“ I miss you Bucky. “

“ I miss you too. “

“ I don’t want to divorce you. I want to be your wife and I want you to be my husband.”

“ Even without the babies? “

“ Yes, “ she nods and brushes her fingers through his short hair. “ You are my family James and you are enough for me. Always”

“ I love you. “ he says because really, it’s the only thing he can think of. The thing he wants most. The only thing that matters.

Without another word, he pulls the ring from the box and delicately slips it back onto her finger. Where it belongs. Where it always belonged.

“ I’m sorry I was ever this stupid. I should’ve just talked to you “

“ Yeah you should have but right now can you — can you just kiss me? “

She doesn’t need to ask him twice. He kisses her once, then twice, then once again. It’s been a long long time since the last time he’s kissed her. Too long. Way too long.

He’s not gonna stop anytime soon. Never again. Never ever again.

“ Hey, “ he says “ how about you slip into your wedding dress I think for all my stupid decisions I owe you a dance. “

“ I think you might be right. “

And she’s smiling, so bright and radiant. Like the sun. Like all the stars. Like his own personal light in the darkness.

“ Don’t expect too much though. I just cried, my hair is a mess — I won’t look the way you remember me looking in this dress. “

“ You’ll look gorgeous.”

And he’s right. She looks breathtaking. She looks like a wonderful, wonderful dream. Like love captured in a person. Like a second chance. Like his home.

There are a lot of thoughts racing through Bucky’s mind as he pulls her close and they sway to the melodic tunes of their wedding song as it sounds from the speakers of her cellphone. But above all there’s love. And the knowledge that he is enough. That they are enough. Their tiny little family. Perfect and not broken or missing anything. It’s good as it is.

They don’t have to think about who gets to keep the decorative throw pillows, the records they used to collect together, the plates that were a wedding gift, the cat. Because it’s theirs. Together. Shared.

And forever.

[fixing-bad-comic-art]

New Tag List

if youd like something added or if i mistag something please dont be afraid to let me know

Fixes- all the edits

Not My Fix- all the edits done by other people i get tagged in/sent.

Not a fix- me just clownin around, ie asks, misc posts, and joke edits,

anon/[url]- how i tag asks

rimshots- fixes that have had a joke edited in along side the actual edit.

regularly scheduled programming- the queued/scheduled post tag

progress log- reblogs of wips i need advice on from my art blog, they get deleted from this blog about an hour after they get posted, but they do get archived on my art blog, (@bitchfitch (read the pinned post on that blog b4 following or scrolling too far, 18+ only)) under the #reblogin-for-archivin tag

booster shot- finished drawings/paintings boosted from my art blog,

reruns- rbs of edits i have already posted, as well as occasional housekeeping posts I need to boost a lil

petfuntimes- sometimes people send me pictures of their pets and i love it every time, currently all petfuntimes are queued to avoid spam

dilferapy- i just think dilfs are neat and talk about them too much sometimes,

FAQ under the cut

are you bad-comic-art? Nope, i just picked a bad url.

Why do you know so little about comics? Its bc the only pieces of superhero media i have ever consumed were wolverine and the xmen when i was like 10 and both deadpool movies.

what's your name/ pronouns/ where are you from? I'm Zachariah/Zach/Zaz, he/him preferably but tbh i dont care and you'll see me refer to myself with whatever im feeling that day. and im from texas.

what program do you use? Infinite painter on my phone

how do i submit something? You can @ me, message me, or send it as a submission, but please do not attach it to an ask bc i can't save it to my phone from an ask.

whats accepted? any professionally produced narrative illustration. so comics and manga from any publisher are in, fan art is out. having said that i dont tend to change outfits bc i just dont know enough about any of these characters.

Can i submit my own art for critique? of course! just let me know in the ask you want a critique,

whats your art blog? @bitchfitch i dont post very often but when i do its usually gay nonsense. edit: i now post more often on bitchfitch than i do this blog el oh el.

why haven't you answered/edited something i sent? 1. tumblr might have eaten it, 2. it got buried under a bunch of other stuff, 3. i meant to answer it but i wanted to give it more thought and promptly forgot about it, 4. i already answered a very similar ask. 5.the edit would require completely redrawing the og image, im just too lazy to do that, but ill usually still post it with commentary

if i dont answer something just send it again like 3 days later.

Got a PayPal/ cashapp? i only accept pictures of Nightcrawler aka Kurt Wagner as repayment for what i do here.

why do you do this? funsies.

[kanene-yaaay]

Go Virge, go!

Kanene’s note: TODAAAAAAAAAY IS A SPECIAAAAAL DAYYYY!!! DO YOU KNOW WHY?? THAT IS RIGHT! BECAUSE TODAY IS @why-not-a-tickle-blog BIRTHDAY!!!! Gooooosh!!!! I know I already did a whole speech before, mah friendo, but you’re just so amazing and lovely! Aaaaaa I’m happy for being your friend! <33

Okay, I got a little carried away! Enjoy the gift! x3

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* This characters don’t belongs to me! They all belong to Thomas Sanders and his series Sanders Sides!

* This is a SFW Tickle-Fanfic, so, if you don’t appreciate this kind of content, please, look for another blog. There are a plenty of fabulous arts in this site!!  ^w^)b

* Oneshot. Something around 3.800 words.w-)b. Lee!Virgil and Ler!Patton in Human AU.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any and every advice is very very welcome! \(-w-)/

* Since  it’s a gift: Essa fanfic não será traduzida, mals. Thankys for reading, my lollipops, especially you, Livvy!! Have a wonderful and incredible day just like you! 

[~*~]

Patton was confused. A lot.

 And that wasn’t even a whole brand-new thing in his life.

 Patton got confused quite frequently, being honest.  

He got confused when he accidentally fell asleep on the couch and woke up four hours later with all his house painted in the dark of the night and without a single drop of memory about where he is or who he is for some minutes. Patton got confused when his attention was caught in some adorably adorable video of kittens being the best thing in the world and quickly ran to Virgil’s room just to show them to him, not understanding why his friend can’t stop looking at him quizzically until Virgil finally asks why does he has a spoon in the knot of his cardigan and Patton jumps because HIS COOKIES ARE IN THE OVEN AND HOW MUCH TIME HAD PASSED-

 Oh. Wait. That is not what he was talking about. Focus, focus!

 Anyway. Life is confusing, feelings, thoughts, actions, trying your best, keep going, look at the refrigerator just to realize you have no idea of what you were supposed to be searching in the first place, humans…

 Yeah, especially humans.

 Patton stared at the figure of his friend laid on the couch, absently looking at his phone while a piece of smile adorned his face. The movie both decided to watch paused in the background as the one currently in the kitchen waited for the popcorn get ready, his hand held lightly his chin and a frown rest peacefully in his features, mirroring the same expression he always saw on Logan every time he was confronted by a problem whose solution seemed impossible to find.

 It was The Pose of all the incredible genius in the world, right? Therefore, in some moment about now the answers of all his questions should magically pop before him, unfolding and refolding in logic patterns just like in all the mystery series and books.

 Right about noooow…

 …

 Now?

 …

 Well, it didn’t work.

 Patton pouted, turning to pour the warm and probably delicious snack in big bowls that both would pretend they wouldn't be able to finish before even getting in the middle of the so expected movie. He grabbed the bowls and headed to the other room, reprising the entire day in his mind, a faint echo of Logan saying that could help basing his decision.

 Everything started in the morning with Patton arriving at their breakfast table only to find Virgil, but not his usual Virgil.

 That was a Virgil without his hoodie.

 Not that it was a totally strange thing! Usually by his free mornings he would prefer to wander in the house on his comfortable pajamas, however the thing today is… he wasn’t on his pajamas. He was prepared to fight the world – actually Virgil was just going to work, but he said this sounded more badass - on his black Slipknot shirt, jeans and the hoodie nowhere near to be seen.

 Besides that, today was predominantly cold. Cold enough for the one wearing glasses end up missing his favorite cat cardigan by the time he arrived their house, searching for the so dearly craved cloth in every little corner until Patton came across the scene of his friend - his best edgy, lovely friend cutely wearing it and being equally playfully bratty when tried ask it back, pulling out his tongue out as his form dazed in a chase the moment Patton’s promise of ‘physically fight for it!’ – which was a lie, obviously. He gave up the vestment the very moment his eyes locked in a Virgil playing with the cat ears sewed in it – flew from his mouth.

 And, after getting tired out, they cuddled! Okay, this wasn’t nearly a strange occurrence between both, albeit was one of those rare moments when Virgil was the one who initiated it, laying on his lap with a pout and a sharp look, as if he dared the other to say something (and Patton didn’t!! He swears!! Squeals. Do. Not. Count. As. Words.), feeling comfortable enough to even start a Poking War as they were accommodating themselves on the cushions, rays of giggles, squeaks filling the place for some heartbeats before both decided to metamorphose their last bit of routine into a movie night.

 Which was exactly what they were doing!

 Now, don’t get Patton wrong. He was absolutely delighted by everything! Knowing Virgil felt comfortable, safe enough to act nonchalant around him was so heart-warming he could almost feel himself melt in happiness!

 ….But…

 But there was this signal in the back of his mind. A particularly different gleam in the other’s eyes he had already seen before, however couldn’t quite place its meaning yet. Some words unpronounced amongst his lightly snarky demeanor. Some little thing that made Patton feel playful and happily bubbly as well, except he couldn’t really grab the exact information, the exact why or the exact memory.

 Not yet, at least.

  [~*~]

  Virgil was about to fucking quit it.

 No, actually, he was about to fuck quit everything when he woke up of his incredibly, horrible, wonderfully teasy tickle dream. The tingles of the dreamy tickles still ghostly buzzing on his body as he quietly giggled, burying his face in the pillows and kicking about everything on his bed, eyes firmly closed as the memories bathed his mind in a flow made to increase awfully his lee mood.

 And then one of his favorite artists posted some new things on Tumblr, which obligated him to see all their new posts and, who knows, accidentally click in the tag ‘My arts’ of them, which end up with him re-finding other works he had already forgot about, path that consequently leaded to some more reblogs and therefore another bunch of tickle blogs which, of course, made his lee mood at work almost unbearable.

 At least he had the cold to blame if someone questioned about the persistent blush spread on his features.

 After everything, finally: The calm and quiet of home, broken by his determined decision to try to make – somehow - Patton tickle him. His friend was soft and playful by nature, and he already knew Virgil liked tickles (quite of an interesting story involving a meme, a movie and the power going out. Heh. Do not ask about it.) so, I mean, the worst part was already gone, right? It wouldn’t probably be that bad. Virgil would just act naturally, smoothly following a few advices he found in some blogs discussing this topic and hope, for the sake of his life, the Universe wouldn’t follow Murphy's Law for ONCE.

 Of course, that didn’t happen. OF COURSE.

 Virgil tried first to be a bratty. He stole Patton’s cardigan and even ran across the house in an attempt to maintain his new possession. He stretched while laid in Patton’s lap: no hoodie, ticklish spots right there. In the last shot he even let himself giggle every single time his mind wandered to the dark corner designed especially for the subject. The one wearing smudged make up even started a poke war!! A poke war!! What kind of poke war doesn't evolve to a tickle war where he would, so sadly and despise his best efforts, lose spectacularly??

 He crossed his arms and DID NOT pout, blowing grumpily some strands of hair that fell in his vision’s field.

 “I would sell my soul for a tickle.” Virgil growled, his usually careful façade crumbling under the quite persistent thoughts of fingers spidering on his ribs, counting each one of them before lazily dragging the tip of the nails to his quivering tummy, dancing and poking unbothered by his squi-

 “What was that?”

 Virgil squeaked, jumping some centimeters in the air when the voice of his approaching friend filled the room, the words getting stuck in his throat, his head shooting in the other’s direction, wide eyes.

 “What.” He eloquently offered.

 “I was too far, didn’t hear what you said, sorry. Could you repeat, please?”

 Virgil tried – failing - to not blush. Patton was… actually being serious, right? That wasn’t any kind of tease, even if the traitor little demon he usually called brain unhelpfully unlocked all the memories of all the tickle fanfics he read that began with that exact same words. “Nothing. It was nothing.” He promptly ignored the way his voice came out slightly high.

 “Oh, okay!” Patton kindly smiled, putting the popcorn on the coffe table and looking for some space on the couch to lay down while Virgil pressed play, the show’s opening quickly filling the air and silence hanging between both. Patton stopped. Suddenly Virgil felt a shiver run across his whole body, his gaze turning to his friend, only to find the one wearing glasses staring at him intently.

 “You like tickles.”

 The word only was enough to jolt his body back to a sitting position, butterflies starting to wake up, proceeding to fly the most desperate as possible in his stomach, his brain fuzzing, crumbling for answers of How and When and What the Fuc-

 “What? NO! I mean, yes but how- when did you just…”

 “Oh!” Patton gasped and Virgil felt his whole face in flames once the realization of the shiny gleam in the other’s eyes, almost as literal stars shining, hit him. Maybe… Maybe something he had done before finally work? “That is why you initiated a Poke War? Were you trying to make me tickle you? Vee, you just needed to ask!”

 Yep. No. Nope. No way. That was definitely worse.

 Virgil tried to hide himself in his hoodie, deciding he could very much rather perish in his Lee Mood than stare at the pure love and awe gazed right in his direction. His lips curving in a shadow of a smile for a second when he pressed himself further on the furniture, noticing with a grumble leaving his mouth the only armor he owned was the cat cardigan. Hood pulled up and his face firmly pressed on his knees, he ignored the way his excited giggles started to bounce and dance in his throat, resulting in his own body bounce a bit.

 “Knock knock…” Virgil felt a light tapping on his knee.

 “Fuck off.” The hissed answer ran without letting he even think about it, too much occupied in pretending to not notice how much this position left his entire tickl- I mean, sensitive torso vulnerable and how much not seeing what was happening increased second by second the tingles and shivers crazily racing in his skin.

 “Gasp! Virgil!” The one dying in the cat cardigan internally rolled his eyes at the literally audible gasp his friend vocalized, almost being able to see the playful mood taking over his expression as it always has when they swore around him. “I should tickle you for this, Mister Potty Mouth!” Yes. Yes!! Come on, come on! “But I won’t.”

 Hey now, what.

 “What?!” His head shot upwards absurdly fast, a fact which, obviously, he would deny it to the end of his living and non-living days.

 “I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide or ignore your desire for tickles every time you have them! Especially…”

 ‘Please – see? I know how to use some freaking good words. - Please don’t say what I think you’re going to say, Patton. You’re cool, you’re a funny guy, you have good intentions but you have any ideas of what the fuck will happen??’ Virgil found himself almost pleading, the sentences already running in his head, but his lips firmly gripped in the fear to let out more than these simple words.

 “… Since I’m totally okay in tickling you! Oh, wait. Did you just squirm? Aww, Virgil!! That is so, so adorable! You’re blushing, too! Awwwwww!!! Okay, okay, okay, I’m… Imma gonna die of cuteness. You’re truly the most precious being I’ve ever met!!! Wait, what I was just saying…?” 

 ‘I will die! No! I’m already dying! See? You already accomplished what you wanted!! Let’s move on to the next damn part!’

 “Oh right!” Patton lightly hit the side of his head. “I’m glad to tickle you! Truly! All you have to do is…”

 ‘Dude, Patton, Pat-Pat, Popstar don’t…’

 “Ask me! Please, please, please!!” Virgil stared him dead in his eyes, crossing his arms, his cheeks so hot that he was surprised his face didn’t melt yet. “Aw, don’t give me that look, kiddo!” Virgil just narrowed his eyes further. Patton pouted, his ‘Puppy Eyes’ expression – more like an unfair weapon - showing and nailing cracks on Virgil’s resolution.

 They stayed like this for a while, until Patton abruptly lifted his hands, his fingers wiggling on Virgil’s direction, the movement so out of blue that catched his friend out of guard, a true yelp jumping from him before he grumpily growled and let himself fall on the cushions.

 “I can’t.”

 “Of course, you can, kiddo! I’m rooting for ya! Wanna see?” And then he started to fold and unfold his fingers, approaching them to Virgil inch by inch “Go Virge, go! Go, Virge, go! Goooo, Virgeyyyy, go!” Inch by inch. Close and then even closer. The boy with a wobbly smile in his face felt like he couldn’t tear his eyes from the movements, the butterflies seeming to freak out in his stomach in the rhythm of the cheers.

 He hides his face behind his hands. Patton was going to be the end of his existence.

 “Stohop it.” Dammit. He was breaking.

 ‘Come on, guy! You can do this!’ He internally whined.

 “Ooh, is that a beauty giggly giggle what I hear? The cheering should be working then, don’t you think?! We believe in you, Virge-poo! And we can’t wait for when we…” Virgil dared to spy the scene between his fingers, only to see Patton’s hands barely touching his sides, his fingers positioned in a claw shape. “… getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha!!” They suddenly moved, clawing unbearably away and terribly close at each couple of words.

 No. Virgil did NOT squeal nor squirmed closer to the fingers. Fuck you. Nobody asked. That is none of your business anyway.

 ‘Just… just don’t think about it! Pull it off. Like… I don’t know! Like a stupid band aid!’

 “It is going to be so much fun! I didn’t even tickle you yet and you’re already giggling excitedly! Think in all your wonderful, beautiful laughter flying everywhere when I finally tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle you silly!! You’ll be giggling up a storm! Happy gasp! Pun inserted!”

 Virgil obligated himself to take a deep breath and not stare the warm, teasy hands which were oblivious of the intern turmoil caused as they rested on his sides. Their tips very lightly, almost impossible to feel and – even more difficult to ignore - poking the ticklish skin, as if they simply couldn’t bring themselves to stay still. The one laid on the couch and yet hiding his face felt the urge to kick just to get off all the pleasantly nervous energy building up in his body.

 “Virgey-wiggly-wiggley…~”

 “TICKLEMEPLEASE!”

 Patton squeaked excited, the teasy grin immediately giving space to the joyful smile. “Of course!” He grazed his fingers up his sides to his ribcage, the nails lightly drawing circles around each one of the ribs, receiving a quick tasering in the middle of them before going up to the next one, letting for a piece of moment Virgil’s bubbly and more high-pitched giggles fill the room alone.

 The cat cardigan owner ran the tip of his fingers up and down, up and down, up and down his sides, watching in complete awe the way the other squirmed at each infinitesimal move. He stopped the movement on his right side, his eyes gleaming behind the lenses as accompanied Virgil adorably wiggling away from the reminiscent tickles, as if he tried to escape from the evil fingers scribbling in that exactly spot which connected his left side to his tummy and leaded cute, sweet titters escape from his gigantic smile.

 A devious plan shinned in his head.

 Patton ceased the tickling in order to give him a breath, smiling at the pout that didn’t take too long before blooming in the other’s features.

 He quickly poked his left side, immediately hearing quiet, bubbly giggles dance across the air as Virgil wiggled to his right, only to be warmly welcomed by scratches of one single finger on his lower back, making his breath stop so fast a snort escape. Virgil widened his eyes, his hands automatically clapping in his mouth at the same time a big, gleaming grin took over Patton’s expression. They stared at each other, fingers never stopping, squirms never ending.

 “No.” His voice was slightly wobbly, giggles beginning to intertwine his words as his friend scribbled softly again. “No no no! You are a- dON’T!- such a dork!!! No!!”

 They initiated the cycle again. Every time Virgil squirmed to escape from the left tingles to the right tickles one more finger was added to the attack, soon leaving the blushed poor victim kicking sporadically when the ten fingers resumed their light, tickly attack. “I’m going t-t-to kick you!!” and then was subdued to the snorts and squeals painting his fast titters.

 The one who wore the cat hoodie which moments before had slipped from his head in the ““fight””, now showing clearly the red strongly flaming his cheeks and the tip of his ears shook his head from side to side, the frown he tried to form being immediately won by the smile taking over his features. Virgil let himself embrace the feeling completely over, laughing freely, almost doesn’t believing this was actually happening.

 That it didn’t matter how much he tried to escape nor squirm, the tickling just followed his movements, just as all his (fake) protests didn’t stop the excited, evil teases pouring from the other’s mouth. Not to tell how only the big, happy gaze from Patton was definitely not helping in the slightest his current state at all!

 He was certain. There was no way out of this. He was going to melt and   d i e.

 And he was loving every single second of this.

 “Aww! Tickle, tickle, tickle, Virge!! Look at the happiness shining in your face!! Someone really, really loves some tickly-tickles, am I right? But don’t worry, Virgey-wiggley! I will give you all the tickles you could ever want! Like here!” He booped Virgil’s bellybutton “Here” A couple of fingers slid on his waistline “And here, and here, and here and everywhere!” Fingers flew quickly, traveling on his hips, collarbone, sides, behind his ears…

 The incapacity to know where Patton would strike next killed every single drop of coherent thoughts of his mind, which could only focus on the tickling and how much it was unbearable and everywhere and it  t i c k l e d . His giggles grew to chortles, his hands flying from his own face to lightly push Patton’s, dislocating his glasses and freeing surprised chuckles mixed with his own squeaks.

 “Virgil!!” Patton ceased the playful attack in order to retire the other’s hands off his face, before both knew they’re wrestling, laughter cutting their acts and weakening their movements. “Virge!! I will go to another spot this way!”

 In a blink of an eye one of his friend’s arms hugged his sides and Patton felt a malefic grin crawling his lips without even noticing its presence. Very much different from Virgil, who in the same heartbeat realized his mistake, using the opportunity of the instant of distraction to lightly push the cookie lover off him, quickly dashing across the house. All his instincts gleaming and sparkling the sign of ‘Survive’ in his veins.

 The only reason of what Virgil forgot about the numbness from spending so much time laid on his legs, resulting in trips that definitely made him lose some crucial speed as he encircled the couch, capturing with the corner of his eyes the scene of Patton jumping of the cushions and following his escape route. The crackling dancing in the air owned by nobody specific.

 His heart beat faster, the joy raced his nerves and made his tummy tingle in advance just for imagining the exact moment where two arms would hug him firmly yet gently from behind and his ears would be set on fire the very same moment Patton would say-

 “Gotcha, Giggly Storm! I gotcha, gotcha ya!!” Patton dug his thumbs right above Virgil’s hips, the remaining fingers clawing the poor, sensitive skin in his back, leading belly laughter to took over his friend’s sentence, his knees buckling and legs uncontrollable kicking as Patton sat with him on the floor, pressing his back on his chest and resting his head on his shoulder.

 “Patton!! Pahahatton, come on, no!” Patton just hummed, two fingers calmly walking on Virgil’s waistline. “Don’t you dare!! Don’t you fuckin- gah!” The nails began to slid in the length of the belly, going from a side to another as elected soft snorts and bouncy giggles.

 “Tickle, tickle, tickle, Virge!! Did you thought you could run away from the Tickle Monster? Poor unfortunate soul ~. Now the Tickle Monster has to give you a bunch of more ticklish tickly tickles just for this, don’t you think?!” And then Virgil felt the tickles speed up to scribbles and clawing and wiggles delivered in every inch of his tummy. Going in random patterns, drawing forms on his sweet spot, up and down, from a side to another, over and over again. Quick enough to make him sporadically squirm and kick, a rain of squeals, yelps and squeals flowing from his lips, yet soft and light enough to let him rest his head on the other’s chest and just enjoy the feeling.

 “Awww! Look at how much shaking your tum-tum is! It is probably so happy in receiving its so much craved tickle tickle tickles, right, Virgey-poo?” The answer was only a blushy Virgil hiding his face on Patton’s neck, giggling nonstop.

 “Nonono!! It’s not!” And, if that move only led to a now very exposed neck to be gifted with some special scratches? They both pretended it wasn’t on purpose.

 Patton just rolled his eyes, playfully exasperated, quietly chuckling when the other jumped with the quick squeeze delivered on his hip.

 It didn’t take long before Virgil let out his first ‘Stop’, which Patton happily obliged, don’t having the heart to move when he realized Virgil’s breath becoming calmer, his eyelashes closing as he snuggled closer to the one wearing glasses.

 The duo knew very well they would probably regret napping on the hard, cold floor later, yet none of them managed to bring themselves to care, especially when Virgil’s quiet snorts with the second tickle dream of the day lullabied Patton to an equally peaceful dream.

  [~*~]

  Random non-said thing: Patton only remembered that information because the movie they’re going to watch was one of the trilogy they were watching when Virgil gathered up enough will to tell him he likes tickling.

[amazinglyspicy]

I posted 32,875 times in 2021

9 posts created (0%)

32866 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 3651.8 posts.

I added 2,302 tags in 2021

#m - 372 posts

#z - 328 posts

#o - 282 posts

#x - 227 posts

#a - 220 posts

#fave - 206 posts

#c - 184 posts

#mm - 167 posts

#b - 159 posts

#n - 157 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#the building at least had an equal amount of womens restrooms and they were always so clean and empty since they were barely used

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

The feminine urge to get more involved in Zelda fandom or just make more friends who grew up with the series like I did GOD

Anyways if you like Zelda please follow me

3 notes • Posted 2021-10-28 04:59:45 GMT

#4

I’m sorry not sorry for all the Zelda spam lately. You see I’m reconnecting with my roots and I’m unashamed of my childhood now. That being said would anyone care to hear my Zelda lore infodumps

3 notes • Posted 2021-09-04 05:18:06 GMT

#3

girl youre on my blog

I’m night blogging

4 notes • Posted 2021-05-09 09:56:16 GMT

#2

What’s your twizzlers theory?

Oh I’m SO glad you asked. Sorry I’m getting to this late it was buried in my notifications. Anyways.

No one you know actually likes twizzlers. No one ever goes out of their way to purposely buy a pack of twizzlers as a delicious little treat for themselves. No one ever is in a super market standing in line to pay, see a a pack of twizzlers and goes “Hmm I deserve a treat!”

They don’t fucking exist!

I, personally, have only ever ate some twizzlers because it was part of a party pack with some other fun-sized candies. Some bag you get for a party to stuff into a piñata, right? This is the consensus for everyone else I’ve asked.

Now you might wonder why that is. Why would Hershey (yes the parent company for twizzlers is Hershey) sell this candy when it seems to only ever sell at a loss for them? When it’s no one’s favorite candy? This is where we get into conspiracy theory, that I feel is the only logical explanation to seeking this candle wax sugar stick to people.

Twizzlers acts as a *pusher* candy. It’s not meant to be the favorite. It’s not meant to satisfy your sweet tooth. It’s there to *enable* it. You take a taste out of that fun size red tube of unfulfilling saccharine and your brain immediately wants *more* to fill the void this Twizzler has left on you. You seek out the satisfying candy. This is your Snickers or your Reese’s or your actual full size Hershey’s bar to fulfill your drive to get an actual hit of that sugar dose that you’re left craving after your free trial of Twizzler.

Twizzler is your “the first hit is free” pusher candy. It’s not meant to be real. It’s just Hershey’s way of selling more candy. More expensive candy at that. Because Twizzlers are also the candy most mass produced for their fun-sized party bags.

It’s my air tight theory and everyone I’ve ever told it to so far has ended up agreeing with me.

Well, unless there comes a day that some fucking creep walks up to me and says “Twizzlers is my favorite candy and I regularly buy the full size.”

And let me tell you what, when that day comes, I will immediately blow the fucking narc whistle cuz I know for a fact that motherfucker is a Hershey’s worker, pull a god damn Twizzlers wrapper over their head and let them asphyxiate on their throne of wax coated chewy lies.

100% real btw. Thank you for coming to my unhinged Ted talk.

9 notes • Posted 2021-03-10 22:43:13 GMT

#1

This is my fic for The Locked Tomb Big Bang! @tltbb

I put a bunch of work in this fluffy little piece about dancing. It meant a lot to me and I got to work with my really amazing artist @redheartzone who did illustrations for it! Shout-out to @thinknt who provided some support for this as well during the process :) 

Summary: 2 love-stuck idiots have a miscommunication. Time to get physical. Or, the Tridentarii have a hell of a time teaching Gideon and Harrow how to dance, in the name of love!

30 notes • Posted 2021-06-25 01:45:45 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[splicejunction]

okay now i am desperately curious to know your canon on what happened in between xforce annual 1999 and xfi #43!! your brain is massive and good

YES okay sorry this took me so long I was gathering my thoughts. so I recently have been giving this a lot of thought but I haven’t really got a concrete Sequence of Events. anyways so annual 1999 isn’t chronologically the last time we see him before xfi #43 because (I am fairly sure) it takes place before xforce #76 (which is the one where ‘star and domino fight in madripoor while rictor is held hostage). it doesn’t REALLY matter though. the next time you see shatterstar is in the x-force shatterstar miniseries (2005) which is followed chronologically by x-force volume 2 (2004). then after that you don’t see him until xfi #43 (2009).

as before do me a favor and don’t reblog thanks. here we go:

**technically he shows up in civil war: xmen (2006) and I think 1 issue of cable and deadpool (?) but its really not relevant to the plot.

so the way I see it is here’s what happened: rictor and shatterstar left xforce in xforce #70 and went to mexico to take down the richter family arms dealing operation. they also wanted to get some space from xforce to figure their shit out. which, I have to say, going on a crusade against a whole bunch of arms dealers is not the ideal setting for working out your relationship but hey, what do I know. this goes on for a bit, and things actually go pretty well which can be seen by the fact that they shared a bed in xforce annual 1999 :)

I actually think a fairly significant amount of time passes and its not just nonstop fight guys destroy guns like they have some really nice, almost normal time together, and this is the time where their relationship develops the most!

until eventually the thing goes down in oaxaca where rictor gets captured and arcade takes shatterstar to madripoor to fight against domino (this is in xforce #76). after this they carry on for a bit but it starts to get hard because A) rictor feels like a liability (Classic. I love him so much you know I just wish he loved himself some more) and B) ric is worried ‘star is only still with him because it’s all he (’star) knows and it makes ric doubt whether their relationship is real or just a product of being stuck together through so much shit.

eventually ric is basically like “you gotta leave me and figure out who you are beyond me” but (ric doesn’t realize this) shatterstar kind of already did after that the first time ric left in xforce #45 (and this is something I’ve actually given A LOT of thought to). like he kind of had to because of the whole ben russell stuff, doubting his identity gave him the space to think about what it means to have an identity in the first place. like after the initial “what the fuck” of it all its like coming to accept that whether his life on mojoworld was real or not, he is still a whole person with possibly a whole future and he gets to decide how it goes.

unfortunately 'star doesn’t really have the skills to communicate this in a way rictor will understand. like he can’t explain how he really HAS become his own person because he still kind of doesn’t understand the whole benjamin deal and also lacks the proper words to explain how it is for him to be who he is, so they have this whole argument and rictor is like “you don’t care about me you've just learned what it looks like to care about someone and you’re imitating it with me because I am the only thing that’s familiar to you” and long story short they go their separate ways. Pain.

shatterstar ends up drifting for awhile and then going back to madripoor voluntarily because xforce is all people he doesnt know (this is at the end of v1 when the team gets completely different) and hes like well I guess I can fight. and a LOT happens here I haven’t expanded much but he spends a while just doing fights and stuff and the only sort of concrete event I have is that He eventually loses in a hair match (like in wrestling) and they shave his head. which is why he has short hair in xfi because I REFUSE to believe he would do that voluntarily.

also at some point here the whole shit goes down with the fuckin uhhh blade of whatever in the xforce shatterstar miniseries and also he goes to the alternate universe where spiral has taken over. this is xforce volume 2 which is genuinely a garbage comic. even by rob liefeld standards, it fucking sucks. the xforce shatterstar mini has some redeeming qualities like the “light pierces my eyes and I’ve returned to the coliseum” bit as well as “i force my body to yield, to ignore every impulse, demanding that I bury my sword within this mans chest. ending his life in the most violent way possible” which is a really good illustration of A) how far he’s come and B) how much he’s going through it right now.

I also do want to bring up one thing about xforce volume 2. there’s a bit where he says “if I am to be such a failure as a man, then let me succeed as a weapon of mass destruction” and later he says “...as much of a posturing fool as I am” and I have read every shatterstar comic multiple times and this is literally the only example I know of where he talks about himself in such a self-deprecating way. this is why I think things were seriously fucked for him between annual 1999 and xfi 43. I think he and rictor definitely had some kind of falling out or breakup and it’s largely because the way he is in the 2005 mini and xforce v2 are soooooooo .... it’s like he regresses back to the way he was in very early xforce but with added edgelord moments. like he talks about failing to learn to be human and failing to be more than a weapon and yes this can be explained easily by the fact that these are liefeld books but. I choose to interpret meaning where there likely is none. that post about skateboarding up a flight of stairs, you know?

anyways, some more time passes, he ends up with domino somehow and they do some shit in the civil war: xmen mini and then after that I haven’t really figured it out but eventually he gets cortex’d and then you have xfactor #43. I do think that since cortex is a madrox dupe and madrox knew about rictor and shatterstar’s relationship it is likely that cortex sought ‘star out specifically to Get rictor in that storyline. but idk.

yeah that’s.... thats it. that’s all I got for now.

[skidget]

I keep putting the idea of talking about this off, naming names and such seeming petty and I didn't want to look petty. And like, yeah it is petty i guess, but it needs to be done. Not directly mentioning stuff and going out of my way to protect problematic people's privacy by leaving out names just allows bullshit to keep happening.

So, to begin, A heads up to anyone who stumbles upon this blog, as well as followers and people who pop in time to time:  I've said this before and apparently I have to keep saying it since it's become apparent people haven't read shit last time.

If you refuse to acknowledge the fascism/nazi apologia, racism, pedophilia-leaning, abuse fetishizing, and other legitimate problems present in steven universe, then block me. I am sick to death of me reblogging all this info and good, well-thought-out criticism from fellow marginalized voices talking about these issues, only for my followers to completely ignore this and then suddenly get surprised and upset later on when it's brought up face-to-face chatting with people.

A few months ago, back in around October 2019, I was a part of the Neolodge discord. Around the time the steven universe movie came out, people were excited and it became apparent fast that there were many fans of the show on the neolodge.

Now, it's not my job to educate you, but know (especially based off of all the shit i've reblogged and wrote about it in the past) that the show is a downward spiral of fascism apologia (and NUMEROUS other problems), and since it's marketted towards children, this is extremely dangerous (add in our current political climate and fucking nazis and other fascists on the rise again and gaining more and  more power and children are literally being put into cages! and you got yourself some fucking pro-grossness propaganda). The show legit makes me uncomfortable, and I'm not the only one. So, when wondering on the chat if anyone else was critical of the franchise, instead the chat suddenly sped up and i was swarmed by a bunch of anti-criticism fans who almost immediately -instead of reading my beginning attempts to elaborate on where i was coming from- posted over and over again that rebecca sugar is a marginalized voice and as such, immune to criticism, and how dare I insinuate a jewish woman of writing nazi apologia. You know, despite all the various jewish people who have come forward having beef with the show BECAUSE of the writing trying to make space nazis sympathetic. 

It was a shitshow, and I realized that the chat was moving too fast for anyone to follow my responses, and also no one cared about whatever evidence i brought forward; instead I (a neurodivergent, mentally ill, pansexual aromantic woman, aka also a marginalized voice) was talked over and treated as if i ate babies. Obviously, I left the neolodge discord after that.

Not knowing who still followed my neopets art blog and who might be among the steven universe fans, members of the lodge, or just people who would rather not get involved, I made a post telling people to block me if they're not up for criticism of the show.

Fast forward MONTHS later to just the other week, and I see the neolodge has made a comeback on the neopets site itself.  I still followed the creator of the neolodge, Hollis, aka hvmanbeing here on tumblr, knowing they weren't around at the time of my departure, and maybe they didn't know about it.  This was an artist who I had defended in the past, and thought would be sympathetic/intolerant of bigotry etc.  Sooooooo I asked if this was like, a rebooting of the neolodge, if it had any connection to the discord one. After airing my beefs and explaining the situation to Hollis privately, they... well...

Hollis refused to read and think about what i had said and the information i linked to, despite apparently going back in the discord chat and viewing the whole mess, where i had also laid out information to back up my observations.  Instead, my voice talked over, my words and concerns discarded, I was treated as if I had committed some heinous act, and if i had changed as a person then maybe they might let me back in to the neolodge.

I didn’t. 1: I don’t recall anyone of the numerous users bombarding me every second mentioning their religion. Not to mention it doesn’t. matter. when, as I stated during the fiasco, and stated again and again: there are MORE jewish voices complaining about exactly what I have been complaining about. Not to mention, why didn’t anyone wonder where my religion lied? Did anyone pause to consider if I was jewish? No, of course not.

2: critiquing steven universe for its fascism apologia, racism, pedophilic implications, etc etc, is not calling its creator a nazi. Words mean things: look up apologia.

It’s funny that certain words are being thrown around that I had previously used to back up my points, with the intent of using them against me. The Neolodge is home to actual children/minors/underage people and most of the people in the incident were younger than 21. That is children.  I was getting annoyed at young non-adults.

This was an artist i had confided in, that I had previously stood up for and supported, that I trusted. An artist that I freely followed and openly conversed with and who had obvious access to all my critiques beforehand (they had faved or commented on my neoblog before), but then threw it all back in my face with no prior warning.

So if you’re like me, and don’t put up with bullshit, and refuse to lie down and let bigotry get further footholds into western culture and be lauded for it, consider staying away from the neolodge and users like hollis and synthaphone (one of the people who swarmed me and the only one with a username i can remember/recognised); don’t make my mistake i guess.

it’s also really telling how when i put up that board the other day trying to bring attention to stolen art in the hopes of having it removed, the neolodge board, previously being dead and at the bottom of the page, was bumped up by hollis in an attempt to bury the board i was trying to remember to maintain, but that’s a story for another time.

[dear-selena]

Omg, if you’re feeling it could you make a Caught Web Handed part two? I loved part one sm!

Caught Web Handed (Pt. 2)

Peter Parker x Reader

Request: “Omg, if you’re feeling it could you make a Caught Web Handed part two? I loved part one sm!”

Summary: When a new Tumblr blogger who claims to be Spider-Man starts reblogging a ton of Spider-Man fanfiction, including yours, the community goes into a frenzy and you confront the boy who promised not to say anything. 

Warnings: Some swearing, this is literally so meta be warned

A/N: I would like to thank the anon who requested this two months ago! I’m sorry it took me so long to write this out! I genuinely didn’t know how to continue this story until recently. If you want me to continue this, please let me know! I could possibly write one more part to this, but only if you guys want it. 

Words: 1971

REQUESTS ARE OPEN 

Part 1

—————-

You love that Tumblr started the group chat feature, but damn, you wish you got notifications from it.

Yawning, you cover your mouth and suddenly crave your bed. Last night, you stayed up messaging a ton of bloggers in a new group chat someone created for your favorite web-slinging hero and didn’t even realize how late it was when the conversation whined down. 

The group chat is called “Them Spider-Man OCs 😩😍🕸🕷❤️💙” and is filled with a bunch of your mutuals. The entire night was spent complimenting one another on each other’s fanfictions, and sharing anything and everything about everyone’s OC’s. You couldn’t help the giddiness you felt when people told you how much they loved Trevor Trenton, your Spider-Man OC. 

Because Tumblr mobile refuses to send notifications when you get new messages, you stayed on the app for hours to make sure you were as involved in the conversation as possible. You knew you could have left the conversation at any moment, but you were just way too excited to finally bond with all your mutuals at once. 

Walking down the halls of Midtown High, you lazily stroll to your first class as if you had all the time in the world to get there. You hadn’t seen your friends yet this morning, making time go especially slow. Not knowing what else to do, you decide to open the Tumblr mobile app and check for new notifications in your group chat. To your surprise, a green circle appeared on the group chat photo someone edited of Spider-Man swinging through Queens with heart emojis all around him. 

You open the chat, and your heart jumps immediately. 

(Your Favorite Spider-Man Blog): Guys did TheOfficialSpiderMan account reblog your work too or is it just me?!?!

Suddenly frozen in place, you reread (Favorite Spider-Man Blog)’s message. With your heart bouncing in your chest, full of uncomfortable adrenaline, you quickly leave the chat and check messages and had to stop yourself from screaming. 

An account called TheOfficialSpiderMan had indeed reblogged your latest update on your Trevor Trenton fanfiction. 

Tapping on the blogger’s icon, you start investigating if this was truly the “Official” Spider-Man. The first thing you do is read the bio: 

“Yes, I’m the real Spider-Man XD. Still trying to figure out how to use this site so bear with me.

Queens, NY | Avenger | Science Nerd”

Looking at the blog’s avatar, you see that it’s a selfie that the hero took while swinging in the air. You’ve never seen a photo of Spider-Man like this before, but you couldn’t tell if it was edited or not. If this is a fake account, this person must be really good at photoshop… 

Scrolling through the blog, you notice that this person’s not only reblogged your fanfiction but almost all your mutuals too. You recognized some of the stories as one’s you’ve read prior and almost all of them were from people who were in the Spider-Man group chat with you. Eventually, however, you scrolled to the bottom of the blog and found a simple text post. 

“Hey Everyone! It’s me, Spider-Man. I’m just here to interact with you guys cause I’ve heard that I have fans on this site. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for supporting me. Love you all

The post, although wholehearted and sweet, immediately fills you with worry. If this truly was Spider-Man, that means your favorite hero, the hero you’ve been fantasizing about through your writing, was reading your stuff. He was reading this personified version of himself that you created for your silly romantic pleasure, and that scares you shitless. A part of you feels exposed in a way you never thought possible, and even though your Tumblr username doesn’t quite give away your identity, you still feel extremely vulnerable. The thought of the man behind the mask seeing your work makes you feel quite uneasy, especially because you don’t know who the man behind the mask is. 

Suddenly, the bell for first-period rings, and you’re brought back to reality. As peers shuffle through the halls around you, you shove your phone in your pocket and pick up the pace to get to your first class. While walking, you couldn’t help but wonder Why Spider-Man chose to solely reblog fanfiction. There are plenty of Spider-Man Tumblr posts consisting of gif-sets, fan edits, and general news about him, so why fanfiction? 

It was as if Spider-Man has some sort of motivated intentions. 

——————

Peter Parker hits the reblog button on yet another well-written story about him. 

Well, better yet, him as a superhero. 

Ever since he found out that you write fanfiction about Spider-Man a couple of months back, Peter couldn’t stop wondering what else was written about him. After a self-debate for whether or not it’d be a good idea to actually make a Tumblr account and find your work, he decided to go for it. After all, he was pretty bored last night, and what better way to interact with fans that through a popular fandom website? 

So he created “TheOfficialSpiderMan” and immediately started reading fanfiction. 

He has to say, he was quite amazed at how talented his fans were. A lot of the stories and characters they created were so unique, and the plots they wrote up were quite clever! He instantly picked up on some tropes people would write about, including ones where the reader was Iron Man’s child (he has to admit, he found those stories quite meta). 

And after a ton of scrolling and reblogging, he came across a story about a version of Spider-Man named Trevor Trenton. He immediately knew that this story was yours, and took notice of your Tumblr name, (Your Tumblr blog name). He wanted to follow you but figured he should lay low right now. ‘I shouldn’t be giving certain fans special attention… especially if this certain fan is a good friend of his and possibly his crus-.’ 

“Hey, Peter!” 

Peter turns around to see Ned with his usual smile on his face. 

“Oh, Ned! Guess what?” Peter proceeds to shove his phone in his best friend’s hand. “I found (Y/N)’s Tumblr account!” 

Ned’s eyes go wide as he examines Peter’s phone, seeing a post with your blog name on it. “Oh my god, Peter,” Ned starts to laugh. “You did not just join Tumblr to find her fanfiction.” 

“Of course not,” Peter protests, going to show the blog account. “Spider-Man did.” 

Ned looks up at Peter with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. “Damn Peter,” Ned says sarcastically. “Didn’t think you’d be one to join fandom culture.” 

Peter rolls his eyes as the bell rings, indicating that second-period was about to start. Saying a quick goodbye to Ned, Peter quickly makes his way to his robotics class, a class that you just so happen to share with him. As Peter enters the room, he scans it and instantly spots you at one of the workshop tables, head buried in your phone, and wide-eyed. 

Peter smirks. He knows exactly what’s going on. 

He makes his way over you, and plops down in the seat next to you, causing you to look up at him in surprise. “Oh, hey Peter.” you squeak out, completely caught off-guard. 

Peter couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. The last time he saw you this flustered was when MJ caught you writing Spider-Man fanfiction back at his place, and he had to admit, you looked pretty cute. “Hey, (Y/N). What are you looking at?” 

You look back at your phone and quickly snooze the screen, shoving your phone in your pocket. “Oh, i-it’s nothing…” You say unconfidently, a blush appearing on your face. “Just a stupid Tumblr update.” 

“Oh?” Peter asks, knowing what you meant by ‘update’. “Does it have to do with Spider-Man?” He couldn’t help but push the conversation on you. He was too excited to see your reaction. 

“Actually, yeah.” You finally admit after a moment. “My mutuals and I are kinda freaking out cause a blog that claims to be Spider-Man is reblogging our stories. It’s weird.” 

“Really, weird?” He questions. “What makes that so weird?” 

“Why would a superhero go online just to read fanfiction. Superheroes shouldn’t even know about this kinda stuff. They should be focused on, I don’t know… saving the world or something. It’s just weird that he’s only reblogging fanfiction and-.” You cut yourself off when you look up at Peter and see he’s just sitting there, head propped up against his hand, leaning on the table with his elbow, sporting a knowing smirk of some sort. Confused at why he was looking at you like that, you almost question him. But that was when you started to connect the dots. 

It feels like Spider-Man has some motivated intentions. Peter Parker is intentionally talking about this with you. 

You squint your eyes at the boy in front of you. “Peter, did you tell Spider-Man about fanfiction?” 

Peter blinks, his smirk off his face. “W-what? No, I didn’t.” 

Your glare intensifies, and Peter sits up straight. “Are you lying to me? You just had your ‘I-know-something-you-don’t face on.” 

Peter swallows, suddenly nervous. He didn’t think you’d react like this. “I’m not lying, (Y/N). I did not tell Spider-Man about fanfiction.” 

You did… a couple of months ago… 

You look away, now glaring at the table. “Then explain how Spider-Man knows about fanfiction and why he only reblogs it?” 

Peter starts to sweat. “Uh, I-I don’t know. Maybe he likes to read?” 

“Or someone told him to find it?” You look back up at Peter, whose clearly uncomfortable, making it easier for you to believe that he’s lying. “Maybe while they were at their Stark Internship or something?” 

Peter mentally facepalms. He’s not getting out of this, is he? 

“(Y/N), please.” Peter pleads. “I promise I didn’t say anything to S-Spider-Man. And even if I did, why is it so bad? Why is it bad that he’s reading fanfiction?” 

“Because!” You shout, catching the attention of some of your classmates. Embarrassed, you force Peter to crouch down close to you so you can whisper. “The stories on Tumblr can get a bit uncanny. What if he finds smut about himself?” 

Peter raises an eyebrow. “What’s a smut?” 

You roll your eyes. “Exactly, and I’m NOT going into that right now.” You shudder, realizing what could happen if your favorite hero finds stories like… that.

Nevertheless, you push those thoughts out of your head and continue on. “But seriously Peter. You told me you wouldn’t tell him about this stuff, and how he’s reading a ton of it? Something doesn’t add up.” 

Peter wants to argue back, but he honestly doesn’t know what to say. He can’t assure you that your writing is good and that he’s enjoying seeing his fans’ creativity because he’d have to reveal his secret to you, and that’s the last thing he wants to do. Especially now. 

Before he knows it, your packing your stuff back up, getting out of your seat and slinging your backpack over your shoulder. “Find me when you can tell me the truth.” With that, you walk to the other side of the room and sit at a new table, just in time for the teacher to walk in and discuss the new project. 

Peter couldn’t help but mentally beat himself up. Was doing all this a mistake? He genuinely just wanted to find your work and actually interact with his fans. He never expected it to backfire like this. Now he has to find a way to assure you he wasn’t technically lying, all while keeping his identity a secret. With all the thoughts racing through his mind, there was one that stood out: 

He fucked up.

————–

-Peter Parker Tag List-

@sweetcoffeeblandtea // @house-arya // @jovialpeanut // @bookstoreblossom // @jackiehollanderr

-Marvel Tag List-

@sammghgecko

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@mindset-jupiter // @romance-geek // @imcharishope // @fakindob // @cutiekoa // @wowursofunny // @cals-cigarette // @supernerdycookietrashblr // @delicately-important-trash // @unlikelygalaxygive

[james-bucky-barnackle]

Two Night Stand (Part 12)

Synopsis: (AU) You found yourself at a club drinking away to forget about the stress of your shitty job as the assistant of the biggest Editor in New York, and end up hooking up with the man of your dreams only to wake up to a nightmare when you find out he’s the son of your boss.

PART 11 | 2NS Masterlist

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1,162

A/N: I’m back, and it’s short, I’m sorry! I’m rereading all the chapters and studying them so I make any unnecessary plot holes. It’s been a while since I’ve updated it. Thank you to everyone who’s read it and is reading it!

“You’re kidding me,” I stare at Pietro who’s pulled all of us to the fire exit. He’s wearing a face mask covering the bottom half of his face. “You’ll get caught.”

“I won’t, it’s like you don’t even know me.” He fixes himself, stretching his arms, and jumping up and down.

“You still remember your way around… right?” Wanda asks, reminding both of us that it’s been years since Pietro stayed here, and although he’s fast, he’s not exactly good with directions.

“How hard can it be? It’s just a bunch of streets…” he slows down, realizing his weakness, “with buildings that look the same.”

“You sure this will work, right?” Bucky interrupts.

“Of course, JB.” He snaps his neck side to side, and smirks. “Unless you want the most obvious choice.”

“No one’s fake dating, Y/N!” Bucky snaps. My eyes grow wide as Wanda and I look at each other, snickering. Bucky grabs my hand and rubs his thumb. “Sorry, didn’t mean to shout. Just no more fake dating, god this is exhausting.”

“Whatever you say, JB.” Pietro replies. “You guys ready?”

“Uhm, errr. What other choice do we have?”

“I need to get to school! Today’s the bake sale!”

“Let’s get to our positions!” Pietro mimics military commands as Bucky shakes his head clearly unamused. He kisses my forehead before he makes his way towards the window by the fire exit. I’ve put on a gray hoodie and some sunglasses on, and nod towards the door. Pietro opens the door for me and I make my way down the stairs. I see a couple of teens with their cameras up and I lower my head. What the hell? I might need a new apartment… if only I could afford it. Pietro closes the door behind me and proceeds with part two. I slowly make my way down the stairs and Nick is nowhere to be found. Thank God.

I peep through the glass by the door and see the sea of cameras flashing in broad daylight. Okay, it’s time. By now, Wanda has positioned herself by the window, and should open the blinds just enough so that the paparazzi will look up. Bucky will have run out the balcony stairs and hopefully has gone out safely. Pietro on the other hand, Pietro… He would’ve already started preparing for his act.

“New York City! Have you ever seen the fastest man in the world run?” Pietro shouts running to the paparazzi and pausing in front of them to jog in place, Wanda takes this as her cue and opens the blinds up my bed room.

“She’s opening her window!” One of the media person shouts. Everyone whips their heads up and this is my time to exit the apartment. I hear loud snapping, screams of my name telling Wanda to look at the camera and show her face. I walk like I’m in a walkathon.

“Buddy, can you move?!” One of the guys shove Pietro, failing miserably.

“Move over!” someone else shouts. By then, phase two would begin.

“What are you doing?”

“What is he doing?”

Oh my god, this is phase two?! Pietro starts kicking off his shoes, I bite my lip looking at him from the next block behind a tree. He then pulls his sweater over, then his shirt. By this time, Bucky should be getting down the fire exit stairs. I look at my phone, anxious if I should check on him when I hear one of the paparazzi’s shout.

“Hey! Give me that!” Pietro has run off, naked, with three cameras in hand, the rest talking photos of his butt naked body running in broad daylight. Good morning to everyone, I guess.

I hug the bottom of my sleeves tight and start walking away, Wanda will have to get out on her own, her red hair will be enough for the paparazzi to give up. I hope the paparazzi doesn’t see or recognize her to be my roommate in my Instagram posts. Gosh this is such a mess. Now, I have to drop by the office wardrobe to change into something more decent and I haven’t even showered. I wonder if Bucky got out okay.

“Y/L/N!” I hear my name called, I look around and see a black Subaru slow down by the street. I pull my hoodie, how smart are these photo hogging – “it’s Steve! Get in!” What? I peep down my sunglasses and I see his blue eyes through the small crack in his window. He waves me over and I quickly get in.

“Hey! How did you-“ I get cut off, “Bucky!”

“I texted him as soon as the whole thing started.” I hug him tight, almost leap into his lap… oh who am I kidding, I leaped hard into his lap.

“This is Peggy,” Steve continues, and my cheeks heat up. “Peggy, this is Y/N.” I loosen my arm around Bucky, embarrassed at my sudden outburst, but he pulls me closer and buries his head in my neck.

“oof! Hi Peggy.” I say, feeling Bucky’s breath on my skin. He’s obviously still sleepy, as am I to be honest.

“Huge crowd you guys have.” Peggy says, and I shrug.

“Might have to move into a new apartment after this, change my name, hair, get a nose job maybe?”

“Shhhh.” Bucky nuzzles into me, pulling me closer.

“You can stay in my hotel for the time being.” Peggy offers and I’m very flattered but confused. She doesn’t even know me, I don’t even know her. Although this has become a general concern, I am not about to bombard her with my issues.

“She’ll stay in mine.” Bucky pulls away and straightens.

“Uhm, I don’t think that’s smart.”

“Y/N’s right, Buck.” Steve laughs.

“What do you suggest?”

“Peggy’s would be smart.”

“I’m thankful for the offer but I’ll have to pass, I’m sure you’ll miss your privacy. I’ll find somewhere to crash in later.” I’m already making a mental note to ask Nat. The list of things I owe her has been piling up.

__________________________________________________________

So much for coming to work early and “borrowing” clothes from the wardrobe department, Peggy has let me borrow one of her free-sized dresses. These look uhm, too posh for my taste, but it’ll have to do considering I even had the opportunity of showering before heading to the office. The moment I get to the office I’m already scrolling through memos and things that needed to be done today when Peter rushes to my side with his iPad.

“Have you seen this, Ms. Y/N?!”

“What?” I get a closer look at the image he’s showing me, “Oh god.”

It’s a photo of me and Thor, beside a photo of Bucky and the girl in the orange camisole, with a cut out of Dolores’ candid, doodled on with “oops.”

I read the title saying, “Dolores Wang or Y/N Y/L/N? Who really is she?” I think I’m going to faint.

____________________________________________________________

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[sappire-charizard]

Whee, updates!

Short summary (because it gets reeeeally long under the read more and I totally don’t expect anyone to read everything): Pupper died, kitty died x2, mom’s in a wheelchair because the VA is terrible apparently, epilepsy is still a thing, money’s still a bit tight, and our winters are cold. But! Video games are fun and I’ve adopted a new feral kitty and her kittens! Also I’m trying to make a game now! And my uncle is nice enough to take me to church whenever he can! :D

Still living at home with mom; still have epilepsy, still not able to work or drive, still trying to earn my keep by helping out around the house.

Last winter we had some pipes burst! I’ve had to master the art of DIY plumbing and got it mostly fixed but it was way more stressful than it should’ve been and that was preeetty much why I vanished on here again.

I don’t recall ever putting it on here; our dog, Elvis, ultimately passed away about a year or so after my step dad did. He ended up with cancer and we had to put him down. He was a good pupper right up until the end and I had to do my darnedest not to cry in front of him since he was such a sensitive bab. At the time, our car was in the shop and we had to call for a taxi. The driver was insanely kind to us and put up with us putting a hundred pounds of dog in his backseat, and didn’t charge us extra when we asked to stop at a gas station to get some junk food to drown our sorrows in. He also told us the story of how he put his own dog down, and how sorry he was to hear it had happened to us, too.

One of our cats died- Tricky, our big black kitty. She got cancer, as well, and when we couldn’t get her to eat even with taking something to increase appetite we had to have her put down. She was an absolute sweetheart and the vet let me hold her while they gave her the injection.

I’m pretty sure I posted on here when our other kitty- Moony- died year before last? In case I didn’t: It was kidney failure. There wasn’t anything that could be done. He became joined at the hip with me when he first started getting sick, and having to make the call myself to have him put down hurt.

More kittens happened!! We had a feral kitty (feral as in you didn’t want to approach her or she would probably attack) that was best friends with Elvis and used to eat and sleep with him for protection against our other feral cats. After we lost him, we kept putting food out in his bowl for her to eat in the garage. That became primarily my job and after working with her for around three years (I’d started trying to work with her before Elvis even got sick) she started approaching me and rubbing against my legs. Then she proceeded to have kittens and I had to activate CODE ADORABLE and we adopted all four of them- and her! The kittens were darlings and one in particular (named Cobbler now) considered me his second mother, but it was pretty easy to coax them inside the house once they were around three weeks old. Mama cat followed them and we led them into a spare bedroom. That was two years ago, and they’ve all been fixed and given their shots and they’re a bunch of healthy little babies! Cobbler is still the mama’s boy, though, and he won’t eat in the morning unless I pick him up and talk to him for a good few minutes.

Pokemon!! Pokemon has been something of a saving grace for me! Between car break downs (which happen every few months it seems), doctor appointments, and just life being generally not fun, Pokemon has helped keep me a little sane. In the past year and a half I’ve played through around... seven games, including the USUM and LGPE. Let’s Go Eevee is stupidly fun, for the record, and Eevee, Mew, and I are steamrolling over Kanto and finding shinies along the way.

This spring! This! Past! Spring! I saw someone reblog a post on here talking about turning characters without a set backstory into a fighting game, then someone added to make a dating game and included links to Ren’py and a few other engines and whoo boy. I decided to try Ren’py and I got hooked and now I’m making a game I guess?? It’s a weird mix of point-and-click, dating sim, and adventure at this point. I’m making it entirely myself (art, programming, writing/plot) and it’s been super fun!! My art’s improved a lot as a result and I totally need to share game progress on here!

My mom’s wheelchair thing is a loooong story. In an effort to keep it a little short: basically her VA doctor ignored her back pain, sent her to physical therapy, ultimately drove her into a wheelchair. Not fun.

This past November was a mess of no sleep and little food and I’m still kind of reeling from it. Slowly getting back into the swing of things, though!

Throughout all of this, I’ve been super grateful for my uncle!! He lives an hour away and preaches at a church in his city, but he makes a concentrated effort to come and pick me up once a month to go to church with him and have a meal with his congregation. He also sometimes drops some food off for me and my mom when he knows things are particularly tight for us. I’d never tell him and he probably doesn’t realize it, but he feels like the closest thing I have to a dad these days. <3

AND YEAH BASICALLY THINGS HAVE BEEN HECTIC.

But there’s been some good hectic buried in there!

I really have missed having Tumblr to come on and just dump art and writing and stuff, though, so I’m glad things seem to be settling down a bit so I can tentatively try to come back here. <3

[scarletwitching]

I know you would probably hate this, but, what do you think makes House of M popular? How this comic cloud people's judgement? How it affect new readers/casual fans's views? What are the factors that draw people in and fixed their impression? Just some observation, some people seem to enjoy the touchy family "feels", some may just like heroes snapping(like it's so cool), and sometimes it's Power Parade(it's deemed disrepctful to say she is less powerful than someone else).

It’s popular(ish) in mainstream fandom because its effects lasted a very long time, which makes it seem important, and because it’s a mash-up of a couple of enormously popular and beloved storylines, Dark Phoenix Saga and Infinity Gauntlet, set in a then-new alternate universe. It’s two old things smashed together and combined with a new thing.

That’s the short answer. The long answer is… long, and it’s actually about the underlying reasons people are okay with some offensive stuff (because that’s what I wanted to talk about). I’m putting this under a cut so that, when people who don’t agree with me inevitably read it, I can link them to this.

There really is a country song for everything.

It maybe goes without saying, but this is a House of M post so it mentions, however briefly, the usual HOM-related subject matter: ableism, infertility, people on the internet glorifying genocide.

Everyone likes things that have somewhat unsavory elements or unfortunate implications. With superheroes, the whole thing is – forgive me – problematic. You can find meaning and value in parts of it, but something is rotten at the core. One of the uncomfortable aspects of speculative fiction fandoms is how terrible things become normalized. Because we’re only talking about fiction. That makes it okay, right? It’s tempting to parrot these notions of “good” queens and “rightful” kings or to go along with the canon logic that justifies violence and ignores the sovereignty of nations that aren’t the US.

I bring up that last one because, in modern superhero fandom, buying into the canon logic often means defending US imperialism under the guise of defending a specific character or story. There’s always a justification for it in-universe, so the way it relates to the real world becomes some extraneous detail that only a jerk would mention.

It’s the Thermian Argument. It doesn’t matter what the underlying message or consequences, however (un)intentional, are. It matters that I like Thing and any problems you find with Thing are the result of you not focusing on very specific details that make it “make sense” in the story. Remember the old Tumblr adage that you can like problematic things so long as you acknowledge the problems? I would just say you can like whatever so long as you don’t bury your head in the sand and scream, “It’s fine! You just didn’t pay attention to the story!!”

What I’m saying is that there’s a lot of justifying how bad literally every part of the story is by saying it all “makes sense” and so all criticisms are invalid. If a person is traumatized, it just makes sense that they would [waves at the entire story] do that. It’s very sad when your imaginary kids die, y’know?

The people who like House of M tend to cite its fetishizing gaze on women’s mental illness as a feature and not a bug. The fault in that argument is that, as far as I’ve seen, none of the people making this argument have Schizophrenia. Or Schizoaffective Disorder. Or any personal experience with psychosis whatsoever. At the very least, the vast majority of them don’t, so they’re not part of the group being misrepresented.  

The issue of what is “good” mental illness representation is complex. Sometimes, people who are struggling or have struggled relate to characters who lash out or do destructive things. People can find solace in imperfect places. Everyone’s just trying to get by in this hellscape, and if a comic made you feel understood or just plain better in some way, that’s a good thing. But It’s a very “I got mine” argument to focus on that and ignore how those stories might affect others. You can’t reclaim something that wasn’t insulting you in the first place. I find the claim that there’s something universal about Sad Wanda Crying unconvincing given how emblematic HOM is of media representations of psychosis. If you’re not always being portrayed as a serial killer, the weight of this story will easily fly over your head.  

Then there’s the not-small matter that the people being insulted – really, specifically insulted – by HOM are groups that aren’t a big part of public discourse. The severely mentally ill and people with fertility issues. Not that those are on equal footing, but they both have a certain invisibility and the idea that something might be hurtful to them is treated as a joke. Reproductive issues are intensely personal, and most people want to keep them private. There is a lot wrong with media representations of infertility, but if talking about it means opening up about your experiences, it’s no wonder people don’t want to or are only willing to in a receptive space.

Also, I suspect a lot of people didn’t read the X-Men stories that came after and are viewing this entirely from Wanda’s perspective. There’s something narcissistic about sad, sad, sad characters being sad about their sad, sad, sad life. It invites the audience to focus on that one person’s struggles – often as a stand-in for their own problems – and ignore everything else going on. This is one of the critiques of “manpain” storylines. There’s a layer of self-involvement built in. Killed a bunch of people? But they were sad! Sad, sad, sad! We’ve all got problems, man. The world breaks everyone. Not everyone kills Hawkeye two different times.

This is particularly true in spec fic where every backstory is a trauma conga line. Your fave may have suffered, but realistically, so did everyone else.

Redemption arcs can have that air of narcissism too. Woe is me, I have done bad. If they get really self-obsessed, you get The Very Worst Kind of Story, the one where the villain is someone who has been wronged by the “redeemed” character and they want revenge. It’s a way of appearing to confront the damage done while actually minimizing it and discrediting the victims. Protagonist-centered morality to the extreme. Only Good Victims™ matter, and therefore, the redemption seeker is exonerated. All charges dropped on account of the victim turned out to be a jerk!

(That’s not what this post is about. I watched a movie the other day that had this problem, and it gave me a lot of feelings. It was Power Rangers. Leave me alone.)

Getting back to what I said at the beginning, the thing that bothers me isn’t so much that people like something I don’t like. I agree with Grant Morrison’s assessment that HOM is lukewarm at best, but I can still see why someone might like it. The bigger problem is how people like quote-unquote problematic things.

Which is to say oh my god, you guys have to stop acting like genocide is cool and badass. Finding a story valuable is one thing. Claiming that Wanda is so awesome because she can warp reality and wipe out all the mutants and “when will your fave” is another thing entirely. It is not okay to brag about genocide. Ever.

EVER.

Not even when you’re talking about fiction.

I know that saying a character is more powerful is the unquestioned trump card of comics fandom, but 1) that’s iffy in the first place and 2) it’s especially bad in this case. I used to think of the “my fave is more powerful than yours” dick-measuring contest solely as an expression of Boys Club thinking, something juvenile that celebrates physical strength above all else. But there is something more insidious to this logic. Saying that having more power – by which you mean a greater ability to commit acts of violence and hurt others – is the same thing as having more value is disturbing logic. The way that superhero comics equate power with goodness is part of why they’re considered fascist. Every time you indulge this fantasy that having more power makes something better, that power is virtue, the spectral form of Alan Moore appears and hurls copies of Watchmen at your head.

Buying into this furthers one of the worst messages in the genre. I’m not saying anyone who argues over which character is more powerful is a fascist, but this logic should not go unexamined. Why does it matter so much which character is the better at inflicting harm than all the other harm inflicters? You can use the cheap argument that they’re heroes and they’re doing good, but superheroes are, to a worrying degree, used as avatars of the US military. They’re only unblemished, pure-hearted Social Justice Warriors™ if you don’t pay attention to any stories featuring them.

And when you’re not just arguing that being powerful is better, but that the act of committing genocide is a key part of that superiority?? That’s beyond disturbing. How can people not notice how terrible that sounds? Outside of the narrative and the twisted reasoning of superhero comics, what are you really saying when you say that? Might makes right is questionable enough, but when the expression of “might” is ethnic cleansing?

Someone, please explain the thinking that leads to these posts. I’m lost in a flurry of question marks. What compels a person to declare, openly, that what’s cool about Wanda is that she got rid of all the mutants? How does someone conclude that glorifying genocide is okay because it’s a fantasy genocide? Why do thousands of people reblog these horrifying posts?

Why?

Why?

WHYWHYWHY?

On second thought, don’t explain it to me. I don’t want to know.