#tim's been fronting a lot recently but he's a good actor

[plural-mmj]

while we do all the requests we've been procrastinating on here, here's some edits we did of two alters. we should be able to get all the requests queued tonight for tomorrow. this is wriozawa, who, yes, is a fictive of both aizawa from mha and wriothesley from genshin. he's mostly a caretaker, and is closest to our mha guys. he needs a better name lmao, but he just shrugs at us when we try to get him to pick. and then, there's tim. who, sure, has latched onto tim drake appearance/personality wise, but is like if you squeezed all the robins into one. he's actually pretty great, he's been encouraging us to start a ict course and do more computer stuff, like we've been wanting to for a while.

[whateverthedragonswant]

*holds a Buddie class; rolling in a huge whiteboard on wheels* "Welcome, everyone. If you will please see the whiteboard in front of you, we'll get started."

*continues to make a board a la The L Word style; lists how Buddie has been paralleled to each other, how they've been paralleled to all the canon romantic couples of the show, how they've been paralleled to other romantic side couples for each episode (the emergencies), how they've been contrasted with other non-romantic partnerships in the show, how each of them has been given a "stand in" when they're not available for each other, how the last season increased their emotional intimacy while squeezing out other love interests, how their romantic relationships have been paralleled to each other, how these writers work & what their style is when it comes to furthering not only the story but development for all characters and relationships (romantic and non-romantic) -- all that good stuff*

*someone raises their hand*

Me: "Yes?"

Them: "Buddie's still not going canon."

*there are loud gasps in the room & I hold up a hand* Me: "People, please. Why do you think it's not going canon eventually? After everything I've just shown you?"

Them: "Because they're queerbaiting."

*everyone groans in unison* Me: "People, please. And why do you think they're queerbaiting?"

Them: "Because they don't have good representation."

*I bust out laughing & then get myself together* Me: "Sorry. You don't think they have good representation?"

Them: "No."

*sighs, then pulls out another whiteboard & shows how there is excellent representation for LGBTQIA+, minorities, and women not only in this show but also their spinoff Lonestar, including trans community representation; then looks at the dissenter*

Them: "But Ronen said he only sees them as brothers and he would know, right?"

*sighs again* Me: "Ronen has said this before, this is nothing new. Not to mention he is not in the writers' room for the other show, and I hardly believe Tim has told him his grand plans for all of 911's characters. Once again, he's said this before. Then Season 5 happened. So, his words are just his opinion, that's it."

Them: "But, Buddie isn't going canon. If it hasn't happened by now, it's never going to happen."

*I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh* Me: "And yet the writers still keep moving Buddie closer and closer to each other every season. Even Kristen Reidel said this very thing, that she only views them as just family, yet she still continued to shell out season 5. Despite the dialogue, the directors continued to block out those scenes with Oliver and Ryan, each actor gave those performances, and editors left those shots in. So...what's your point exactly?"

*a few seconds of silence go by* Them: "I'm just saying that--"

Me: "That you don't like slow burns and full on character and relationship development. I get it. So I think we're done here. Next!"

*goes back to lesson*

Let me repeat, there is absolutely nothing indicating that Buddie will not go canon by the end of this series.

"What about Ronen?" You might ask. If you look back in the last year or two, you will see that Ronen has said this before. (and this recent turn of events may even be in reaction to this very time he said it, not sure if he said something recently) Ronen is an actor, not a writer, and he is not playing Buck or Eddie. There is zero reason for Tim or Kristen or the writers to divulge what their plans are for Buddie or any other relationship in the series he's not even in. A lot of people go to Ronen and Rafa for validation because they play the mlm ship in the other show, but ultimately neither of them know what is in the works for Buddie. Even if they talk to Oliver and Ryan about it from time to time. Kristen and Tim have both indicated that there is no ultimate game plan to define the Buddie relationship as of yet (I believe that they're not choosing to define it yet but no game plan? come on). But that doesn't stop them from continuing to develop it in a way that makes it very obvious to where it's heading. The question isn't if, it's when.

"What about Ryan? He's said the same thing in the past." Yes, and he is entitled to his opinion as is Ronen, Rafa, Oliver, and anyone else. But once again, he is not in the writers' room. Yes, it's possible Tim and/or Kristen have discussed with him and Oliver on where they're currently planning to go with Buddie, but that doesn't mean that it's something Ryan can publicly talk about in detail. If the show wants it to remain vague for now, for only the current state of the relationship to be commented on and nothing else (including speculation), then that's what both Oliver and Ryan have to stick to. But seriously, they literally just finished a season where they purposely separated Eddie's heart from Christopher's heart & gave very strong hints to queer!Eddie coming out at some point. We still see Ryan's performances that include what we affectionately call heart eyes!Eddie. Even the GA should be picking up on this at this point.

The show has purposely continued to make sure this is shown.

So again, what does it matter what Ryan said?

"It's been five years and they still haven't made Buddie canon!" Actually, it's only been 4 and it's called a slow burn or more appropriately, story development. They have three other main romantic relationships in the show: 1 was already together by the time the show started (cue the alleged 'Henren Begins' episode next season) & 2 that they worked towards and continued/continue developing. Notice how the four newest firefighters they brought on board so far have been 3 men and 1 woman. 1 of those men turned out to be villainous last season. 1 went to a completely different firehouse and ended up choosing not to be a firefighter by the end of the season. 1 stayed in the 118 and stepped in while the OG 118 was broken up and scattered to the 4 winds, cementing his own place in the unit. The woman was set up as a possible romantic interest for Buck but ended up being drastically diminished in the final edits (hmm, I wonder why) and proved she was a stand-in for Eddie for Buck (a la Lena Bosko style in season 3 for Eddie when Buck was out). Buck already had another romantic interest in the form of Taylor which the show completely dismantled by the end of the season, despite Tim saying he wanted Taylor to stick around for a while so we could get that reporter perspective in the show. Eddie had a love interest in the form of Ana that they then completely dismantled by the start of the season (in order to separate his heart from Christopher's). If you step back and look at the bigger picture, it all makes sense. Especially when you see that they purposely had Eddie in tune with his own heart by the end of the season, and that includes not only the 118 but also his relationship with Buck. While they made sure to show to the audience that the Buckley Diaz family unit is very strong, it's not all about Christopher. Eddie and Buck have their own relationship, and it's not all about throwing back some beers and watching the game together. It's possible Buddie may not go canon in season 6 either, but again, step back and look at the bigger picture.

It's coming.

[timothy-chamlet]

the afterparty - t.c. fanfic

pair: timmy x female reader

warnings: unprotected sex, general smut

word count: 2.6k (2640)

a//n: ok er ive never written for timmy before so im nervous snsvsj but if you read it tell me what u think !! <3

°•○●○•°

people often thought the two of you were dating. paparazzi tended to make it look that way through press. despite all the candid photos of you and timothée plastered in magazine spreads and floating around on blogs, he would tell people you weren't together. interviewers would ask, and time again he would put an end to the rumor by saying you weren't dating, you were just friends. 

to be fair, you honestly couldn't even be mad at him. it was a good marketing tactic, at least. if all the girls knew he was single they'd still be invested in the persona of a young, attractive starlet that - despite his more than desirable qualities - is still single. genius. meanwhile you were being his best friend and his trophy for award shows. 

it was growing on you though. you enjoyed walking red carpet events and going to extravagant parties and meeting big names in the industry. it was really a win-win for both of you. 

another one of those win-win situations was tonight. the past three days had been crazy. hair appointments, nail appointments, dress fittings, photoshoots, brunches, and dinners. running each new day on an hour of sleep - maybe two if you were lucky. fueled by energy drinks and the promise of rest after the event. showing up to an awards ceremony on nothing more than a 20 minute nap and a double shot espresso. being timothée's showpiece was exhausting. but it was good for you. 

you had just finished your last consultation for dress fittings and were on your way to your styling appointment. the dress would arrive shortly after you so everything was ready to go. things were set for timothée to meet you there in an hour or so, after his own styling. 

currently you're getting your makeup done. a swarm of professionals all around you, handing products, giving directions, telling you how gorgeous you look, at least three hands on you at all times. after almost an hour all the disembodied hands move from your face to reveal the *almost* finished product. you still need your hair done, but your face was flawless. your skin was insanely smooth; not a pore in sight, your lids were a bronze shade, and your lips were a perfect nude. 

a hair stylist soon steps into view, also admiring your makeup before diving into your hair. it was simple. a slicked back ponytail is all, careful not to draw away from your face and your dress. 

the strong aroma of hairspray clouds you as you maneuver to step into your dress. stripped of your previous clothes, you step into your dress and a couple people help you pull it up. the woman attending to the supper in the back steps away for a moment, seeming to answer a question. 

"what's his name?" she asks into her ear piece. "uh yes. she's in here with me. send him in."  

she returns behind you and does up the zipper to your dress. to your surprise, you see timothée waltz in the room. dressed in a charcoal gray suit with a light lavender button up underneath. "y/n," he exhales, walking towards you. "you look breathtaking, ma chérie." 

"you don't look too bad yourself, timmy," you say, stepping down from your pedestal to be almost eye level with him.

"is she done here?" he asks everyone around without taking his eyes off you. 

one of the women there swoops in with a pair of shoes and says, "slip in to these and you're ready to go, darling." 

you step into your shoes and link arms with timothée. "carriage awaits," he says as the two of you get escorted to the limo. 

once inside you let out a deep breath you didn't know you were holding. "you okay?" he asks from beside you. 

"yeah, just.. tired." 

he chuckles and drops his head. "absolutely exhausted." you two had similarly scheduled days so he knows exactly how you feel. "don't worry, mon amour, i'll have you home in about 8 hours." 

"i thought the awards show was only 4-" 

"there's always the afterparty.." 

you audibly groan and drop your head as timothée places a reassuring hand on your knee. 

"we're here," he says with fake enthusiasm as the limo pulls up to the event. the past 45 minutes felt like hours as your head began to pound from the lack of sleep. yet, lucky you, 45 minutes in l.a. traffic was a miracle. 

the two of you step out into the scene. flashing lights from camera flickers, the general buzz of the crowd, people you knew trying to get your attention, people timothée knew trying to get his attention. being the kind person he is, he doesn't shy away from fans calling his name. he walks over to give high fives, say hi, sign things, and really interact with the people that are so invested in his career. you look at him with a fond smile on your face as he greets  people.  

"timothéeeee," you both hear and turn around to match the loud booming voice to a face. 

"armieee!!" he yells in response, hurrying over to hug his co-star. 

you stand idly by as the two hug and catch up. fiddling with your ponytail and the skirt of your dress. until that same voice catches your attention. 

"bring it in hot stuff!" 

"hey, armie! how've you been, handsome?" you two had only met a handful of times, but it's like your souls clicked instantly. he had kept in touch since the first time you met and you guys had been pretty close ever since. 

"oh i’m doing great. really. just excited for this evening. can't wait to see how many awards lil' tim brings in," armie ends with a light laugh before timothée chimes in. 

"oh god no-" 

a cheery voice interrupts the conversation. 

"helloooo," armie's wife says in a sing-song voice and joins his side. "nice to see you again, y/n. and congrats timmy on your nominations." 

you and timothée nod in response and utter small, nervous 'thank you's' before armie excuses the two of them, promising to catch up later. 

"well, well, well- this is it, timmy." you say from your seat next to him. the host reads the nominees for best breakthrough of the year, and timothée's name is mixed in with so many other talented actors. he nervously puts his hand over yours. "you are absolutely amazing. everyone knows that. you're gonna get it." he looks at you and you pass him a reassuring smile. 

"and the award for best breakthrough goes to… timothée chalamet!" 

his head shoots up in shock. cameras pan around him and his baffled expression appears on huge screens behind the stage. he slowly stands from his seat and makes his way to the stage. making a beautiful speech, thanking almost everyone he's ever known. giving gratitude to everyone he's ever worked with, his parents, and his best friends. he comes off the stage and returns to his seat beside you. a year runs down his cheek, and you move to wipe it away, but he grabs your hand away from his cheek only to press his lips to your knuckles. "thank you for always believing in me." 

"you're an amazing actor and an even better friend. 

the night was nearing an end. people were saying their goodbyes and their 'see-you-soon's and going their separate ways. you and timothée walk out of the event, arms linked, with his hands tightly gripping his award. the smile never leaves his face. "i can't fucking believe that, y/n."

"you did it, timmy! all you and your hard work. lemme pick a nice spot on your shelf for it yeah?" 

"i was thinking about sitting it on my dresser right above the drawer full of your shit you keep leaving at my house," he says with a barely visible smirk. 

"oh, well if it's such a problem," you begin "i guess I'll just have to come get my 'shit' then?" you finish sarcastically. 

"oh! how dare you?" he begins to shout, going on a tirade similar to that of hamlet; overly dramatic and mostly nonsensical. "leave them be! small, small remnants; reminders of thee." he trails off softly, dropping his head to your shoulder and bringing his other hand up to trail his fingertips down the side of your face. 

you can't help but chuckle at this. "bravo timothée! amazing performance." 

he straightens up before taking a bow and returning to his previous position on your shoulder. "do you wanna skip the afterparty?" 

"and do what, tim? i thought you were gonna catch up with armie?" 

"i dunno- go to my place?" 

you nod your head, and timothée let's the driver know to just go to his house. 

you get out of the car in front of his apartment, quickly thank the driver, and dash inside; excited to remove the day. "can i shower?" you ask quickly already making your way upstairs.

"oui, mon trèsor, make yourself at home. ill be up in a while." it was almost as if he had it scripted. a routine more or less. you'd ask to shower - despite him telling you almost each time you never had to ask - and go up stairs to do so; him trailing along about an hour later behind you. 

you finish your shower earlier than planned so you decide to lay on his bed until he comes up. you let your freshly washed body relish in the textures of the cotton t-shirt and shorts you're wearing and the damp-cool feel of the comforter on his bed. 

you're not left alone for long before he darts up the stairs and into his room, catching your attention. you watch as he walks around, dropping various articles of his clothing haphazardly on his floor. left in only his boxers. 

"timmy?" you ask in a drawn out voice. 

"hm?" he asks lowly in response; his eyes trained on you. you don't respond to his muffled question and instead watch as he comes to lean over the foot of the bed, by your legs. "i've been thinking," he continues, "a lot recently. about us.." 

"us?-" 

"about what the media thinks we are. what the people say. the blog posts, the tweets. i read it all… what do you think about it, y/n?" he ends with a light sigh, making drawing light swirls on your leg. 

"i dunno really. i've never thought much about it," you say sitting up. 

he moves up from his place in front of the bed, crawling up to sit to the right of your legs. knees drawn up to his chest, eyes meeting yours. he raises his hand so his fingertips ghost the curve of your cheek. "you never think about.. the possibility of us?" he pauses as his eyes drift from yours. hands falling to his lap as he scoots even closer to you. you sit stunned, not knowing how to answer as if it was some rhetoric instead of a simple question. filling the silence, he continues. "i think about how different things would be if we were together. what it would be like to hold you and kiss you and- can i kiss you?" 

his voice wavers as his eyes meet yours yet again. with quick movements, he moves to straddle your legs, both hands resting lightly on either side of your face. 

"can i kiss you?" he asks again, his face millimeters from yours. 

you shake your head yes as your eyes fluttering closed, your lips brushing against his as you move. 

he plants his lips firmly on yours. innocent at first, but the kiss quickly gets deeper. more desperate, his hands moving from the sides of your face to tangle in your hair, pulling your head back giving him access to your neck. his lips dance around the skin of your neck, being careful not to leave any marks. “is this okay?” he whispers, dragging his hands from your hair to the hem of your shirt. 

you nod your head vigorously and he pulls your shirt up and over your head, throwing it to the floor with his clothes. you lean back and give timothee free reign of your chest and stomach. he makes his way from your neck down and across your chest. your hands rush to knot in his hair as he takes a nipple in his mouth, carefully flicking his tongue across the hardening bud before doing the same to the other. 

"timmy.." you breathe out as he leaves your chest and explores lower. his eyes meet yours as his teeth come into contact with the flimsy waistband of your sleep shorts. "please," you whisper. 

he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your shorts and pulls them down your legs; eyes going wide when he sees you have nothing underneath. 

"so pretty," he whispers almost to himself as he throws your shorts in his floor with the rest of your guys' clothes. he runs his finger along your slit, collecting some of your wetness, tasting it. laying back down with your legs over his shoulders, he hooks his arms around your thighs to keep you in place. he runs his tongue along your folds and you arch your back in response. he sucks on your clit making you squirm and tangle your fingers tighter in his hair, pushing against his face, eager for more. 

"tim-... timmy," you beg.

timothée kisses his way back up your body. "hm?" he hums softly beside your ear only for you to utter another weak 'please' in response. 

"please… please what, mon amour?" 

"baise moi.." you didn't know much french. you had picked up on a few of timothée's most used phrases, but this you hadn't learned from him, so it caught him off-guard. stuck in a moment of shock. hearing you say something so dirty in french felt so strangely intimate; you didn't have to ask him twice. 

he slips his boxers, finally accompanying you in nakedness, and slips into you, moaning at the feeling of you around him. 

"fuck.. timmy-" you groan as he picks up his pace. he coos sweet nothings into your ear while drilling into your core. 

his head drops to your chest and the soft, sweet praises slowly turn into obscenities. "merde," he groans, picking up his pace even more. holding himself at arms length above you, he throws his head back; lips parted in pure bliss. 

you lift one of your hands to trail down timothée's torso. you lazily drag your fingertips across his chest and down to his stomach. the pleasure building inside you, your hand finds its way to your clit. “timmy... fuck! ple- please don’t stop. fuuuuuck!” 

“défaire pour moi, y/n.” you didn’t think french could ever drive you to orgasm, but when it came from timothé anything was possible. you convulse around him as your wave of pleasure washes over you. timothée reaching his own peak soon after, pulling out and emptying on your stomach. he quickly finds something to clean you up with before plopping down on the bed beside you. many silent moments pass - nothing but heavy breaths leaving either of you - before he speaks up. “you know,” he begins in a soft whisper, “i felt bad- like i was using you. just to go to events with me. i know you don’t really like them but-” 

you cut him off and turn to face him. “i might hate going to those award shows, but they’re a little less bad with you around.” 

he breaks into a wide smile and pulls you closer, putting his head on your stomach. "mon amour, je t'ai toujours aimé." you reach down to play with his curls and begin to drift off on your way to sleep. 

[lilousmustaches]

L.A nightmares

Jensen Ackles x Reader

Warnings: TW!!! Sexual harassement, authorities using their power in a nasty way, dissociating, anxiety. 

Notes: Hey! Here i am after years writing Jensen x reader again! How do you feel about it? But okay... this fic. I had this idea when i saw a thread on twitter that told a story about an event that Jensen was with Danneel, they saw a girl being harassed and Jensen immediataly intervened. I can't find this post anywhere but i truly believe that he is that type of guy. Be safe out there ladies! 

Summary: Jensen and the reader are co-stars and travel to L.A together, just to pass throught a series of unfortunate events. 

xxXXxxXXxx

"Here's the next week script (Y/N)." A girl that worked around the set said polity handing you a large new script. You had seen her around before, what was her name? Lauren... Laura! Was Laura. You hated not knowing people's name, especially those who worked with you and for you, but it was so many people walking around, everyday a new person, that made it a bit hard.

 "Thanks Laura!" You asked with a small smile that she retributed and walked away. You started to leafing through the next script seeing that you had more scenes in this episode than in the last two you appeared. 

 "(Y/N)!" Someone shouted making you immediately lift your gaze seeing a smiling Jensen in front of you. "I didn't know you would be here today!" He said hugging you and felt almost dizzy with his perfume. He was definitely one of most good smelling men you ever came across. 

 "You seen me yesterday J." You said laughing breaking the hug and the struggled. 

 "Still missing you though." He said putting his arms in your shoulders and started walking with you again. You had entered the Supernatural cast years before, being a really important character and recently, Sam's love interest. You didn't appeared on every episode but in the most of them, like Misha, for example. Because of this, he was one of your best friends, along with the boys that eventually you became inseparable. Always hanging out together, laughing and pranking each other. It truly was a family. Although you had to kiss Jared sometimes because of some scenes, you saw him practically like a older brother. But with Jensen... Well, that was a whole another story. "What are you doing here anyway? I thought that you had already taken the fight for L.A" 

 "I had to adjust some details of my last scene." You explained. "Why? You wanted me gone, that bad?" You joked hearing him huffing. 

 "Well, yeah, I can't even look at your face anymore." Jensen joked back making you roll your eyes and he laughed, squeezing you harder. "Just kidding sweetheart, you know pretty damn well that I never can bring myself to be tired of you." He said like it was nothing making you blush a little bit. Usual.

 You were already in the outside part of the set and spotted Jared and Misha coming at your direction. 

 "Good things to say Ackles, because I will be going with you to L.A" You explained when the boys came closer. 

 "Really? Thank god you will be saving me from a boring trip with that moron." Jared said stepping up in the conversation referring to Jensen, because Misha wouldn't be able to go to this one, and you smiled. You would take a fight a few days earlier than the boys but because of the problem with one scene, you had to go with them. 

 "Really, argh, I'm so excited." You said making a strange face and they laughed. "It's going to be my first award!" 

 "It's gonna be fun." Jared said and Jensen smiled in adoration looking at you,  lot shorter than him and a few years younger. 

 None of you knowing what kind of things this trip could bring. And man, there were a lot.

 XxXxXxxXx

"Wow." Jensen breathed out stepping up in the apartment you would share in this three days in the city of angels, Los Angeles. Some of the cast had to come to be present in a award that was going to happen in the city. Jared and Genevieve, his wife, opted to stay in a hotel but you had this friend that was out of town and offered her place for you to stay, and you took it, inviting Jensen since you knew he wasn't a big fan of hotels. 

 "Pretty nice, hun?" You said with a little smile realizing that it had been a while since you stayed in there and he nodded. 

 "Tell me about it." He said looking around. The place was pretty wide and cozy. A little fancy but with a lot of little fun things, like a orange table, some colorful frames around and a blue fridge. Your personal favorite. 

 You two adjusted yourselves in the two guests rooms that had in the apartment beside the suite and started to get ready for the dinner Gen invited you. It was some friends of her and some producers, directors and a bunch of kind of important people in the movie industry. You didn't recognize any of the names Jensen told you that would be attempting to it, but why the hell not, you wanted a fun night with some of your friends. 

 You finally finished your makeup and with a last look in the mirror you step out of the room going to the living room, only to find Jensen there, sitting on the couch, ready to go, scrolling throught his phone. Soon as he heard your high heels getting closer, he lifted his gaze, losing his breath for the second time this day. 

 "Wow." He breathed out looking at you with a loose short black dress, red high heels and lipstick. "You look beautiful (Y/N)." He said honestly staring at you and you felt yourself blush. 

 The truth was that you were completely in love with him. For a few years now. Since you started the series, Jensen caught your eye. I mean, how could he not? He was handsome, funny, sweet, always smelling good and the most important thing.... He was caring. Jensen Ackles was one of the most caring guys you knew. Got a problem? Jensen would listen. Hell, Jensen would solve it. And not just with his closest friends, but with everybody around him. He always offered help, not matter what. He makes sure his PA, and the people around set already had breakfast before work. He makes sure to offers to take water, every time someone get drunk on the casts parties. It was the details. And you loved them all. 

 You quickly became friends, and you were okay with being just that. Besides the friendly flirting it's not like you expected something else. Just having someone as incredible as him to call your friend was enough. 

 "Well, you don't look too bad yourself." You said and he laughed, rolling his eyes getting up of the sofa. "But thank you." 

 "I meant it (Y/N), you look like you could break some hearts tonight." Jensen continued to compliment you as he opened the apartment door. "But let's go miss, Jared said that we are already late." 

 You called an Uber to take the two of you to the restaurant placed in DownTown, a district in Los Angeles, one of your favorite parts of the city. Although you enjoyed every little piece of it, you just loved L.A, it made you feel good. After some minutes in the car, and some easy going conversation with Jensen, the driver announced you had arrived. Just for the entrance you could tell it was fancy. 

 "I thought it was just a dinner." You said immediately when you entered the place, looking around seeing that the restaurant was closed for the event and everybody was up talking and walking around. Some waiters were passing serving some food and some of them with trays serving wine, whiskey and champagne. 

 "Yeah, I thought so too" Jensen said, looking around surprised as well. "Hollywood, and their people with grandeur complex." He said making you chuckle. 

 "(Y/N)! Jensen!" You heard and spotted Jared smiling and waving you, with Genevieve by his side. You and Jensen reached them, after a waiter stopped you offering something to drink, you went with wine and Jensen with whiskey. "You finally got here! I was already thinking you wouldn't make it." 

 "Stop being dramatic, we were just a little late." Jensen said hugging his friend and then Gen. You doing the same. 

 "(Y/N) is so good to see you, it has been a while hasn't it?" Gen said breaking the hug and you agreed. Since you became friends with Jared, the friendship with Gen came along and you two just hit so well, in the set, your friends was mostly males and you loved having some girl company when she was around. She introduced you to her friends, that first invited her to the event. They were also actors, and they explained how they met in a project Gen was part of when she was just beginning her career.

 "So, are you guys excited about tomorrow? Heard you're competing in two categories right?" Aaron, one of Gen's friends, said referring to the awards you would be attending because of Supernatural. 

 "Yeah! Especially this girl here who is totally a award virgin." Jared joked putting his hands on your shoulders and you giggled, rolling your eyes.

 "Can you blame me? It's a big step in someone's career!" You defended yourself. "Oh it definitely is! I remembering when I went to my first award, I was so nervous and I wasn't even running for anything." Aaron laughed taking a sip of his wine. "It's just a great place to meet important people."

 "It sure is." Yan, the other friend, agreed. "But if I'm being honest, we are just in the right place for networking right now. Every big fish that can hire and fire you from any huge project in the industry is here tonight." 

 "I noticed... That guy over the balcony is practically one of CW's owners right?" Jensen said holding his whiskey, discreetly pointing at some guy behind you. Your turned around to look, after all one he was one of the owners of the channel Supernatural passed. The guy was a lot older, bald and plus sided, but you quickly turned around when he caught you facing. 

 "Yep, Tony Garcia." Aaron answered. The six of you passed a few more minutes talking and drinking, until they parted to talk to more people that was there. You got that Tony guy staring from time to time. You walked with Jensen for a bit, meeting some great and important people, as Yan had said. Talked for some time with Jared, he was already funny but got even funnier when he was tipsy. And finally, passed some time with Gen... until you had to go to the bathroom.

"(Y/N) right? The Supernatural star!" The Tony guy stopped you when you were getting out of the toilet, in your way back to Jensen that was laughing with some other three mans. You laughed a little embarrassed, why that guy knew your name? Okay, you literally worked for him but he was way far away in the enterprise. 

 "I don't if it could be called that, but yeah! I'm (Y/N), pleasure to meet you!" You said smiling extending your hand to him and he quickly shake his head. 

 "Nah, I don't do hand shakes with beautiful woman like you." Tony said with a laugh already pulling you to a hug. His hand in your back was dangerously close to your butt, his breath stank like whiskey - a great amount of that -, the tone of his voice and the intimacy he putted on the hug was enough to make you uncomfortable. This wasn't right. You could sense something was terrible wrong. "And believe me when I say beautiful, I mean something else." 

 "Ha ha." You gave him a yellow smile already grossed out by the man in front of you. What he was implying? "It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Garcia, but if you excuse me I-..."

 "So you know who I am!" He interrupted you, interrupting your way to leaving the conversation too. His tone already implied power and dominance, as if his name had a big weight in the conversation. "Well, as one of the CW's owners I have to say Supernatural brings a lot of benefits for us. I'm happy about the success of the series! I can see why the audience increased after your entrance." Tony said with pure maliciousness in his voice looking you up and down, showing no shame, looking you as if you were totally naked. "I believe woman don't last much on the show, but it would be a shame if you had to leave." He said and you knew that it was a threat. He was threading you.

 You gulped feeling your throat burning from holding back tears. The only words that crossed your mind was 'Every big fish that can hire and fire you'. God, you were a woman, unfortunately harassment was something you experienced all your life but it didn't make any less painful anytime it happened. The fame industry was gross and you knew that. You heard horrible stories about girls having to do every kind of sick bullshit to only get a chance for audition. You were so thankful that none of it happened to you, that you found a show with the most respectful co-workers and producers you could ever think of. But there you were, face-to-face to some sick nasty man that had the power to fire you in a snap of his fingers. 

 "It would indeed." You said forcing a smile, taking a sip of the wine in your hands.

 "I have to say, you have such a beautiful mouth." He said. "I wonder what it can do." 

 "It sure can drink." You said laughing nervously drinking the entire wine that was left in your glass. Only your glass was still half full. It didn't burned more than holding back the tears though.

 "Oh princess, no need to be nervous around me." Tony said laughing and you immediately related to the sound of a pig. That was what he was. A pig. Once again he passed his arm around your body pulling you close and resting his hand, this time, just down your boob but close enough to be touching. You were trapped in his grip, so close to his face, feeling that alcohol breath. You couldn't think the last time you were so uncomfortable, you needed to get out of there, you just needed. Every single part of your body yelled dangerous. "We're all friends here.... We can even be more than it tonight." 

 "Hey." You heard a deep voice by your side and you almost missed the sight of Jensen's hard expression by the tears that now was blurring your eyes. "Let go man, I believe you're making her uncomfortable." 

 "Hey..." Tony laughed looking at Jensen, letting you go and you didn't noticed you were holding your breath until that moment. You immediately stepped away from Tony, going to Jensen's side. "We were just chilling... what? Playing Dean for so long that incorporated the hero type?" 

 "Yeah, it didn't look like chilling to me." Jensen said not losing his posture and not falling for any of his bullshit. Jensen was in the middle of a conversation with some directors, exchanges tips, when he saw you from far away simply drinking your whole glass of wine all at once. He knew you to well to notice something was wrong, and he didn't need more than 10 seconds to understand what was happening. "And relax! I know how to separate my character really well, but I do believe we have basic ethics principles in common." 

 "Okay smart boy." Tony said with now anger is his features. "Remembering who you are taking to. Supernatural can turn into a one star show really quick. And you..." He said turning to you. "Consider yourself fired."

 "As far as I know you don't decide shit about my show, but I do know that you need to start respecting women." Jensen said in the same low tone, with anger in every word. "Excuse me." 

 Jensen leaded you the way making sure you didn't even pass near Tony again, he was with a gentle hand in your back almost not touching you and quickly you two were already outside and you saw him calling a cab. 

 "I'm sorry (Y/N), I got so angry... You wanna go home or you want to stay more? That dick won't get any closer to you, I promise." Jensen asked turning to you and looking straight into your eyes with concerned. 

 "I just wanna go home Jens." You said with a chocked voice letting the first tear fall down. You were in shock, practically shivering. You always says to yourself that the next time something like that happens, you were going to stand, be loud and not take it quietly. But every time you freeze. Every fucking time. 

 You dissociated the entire way back home, with a million thoughts in your head and at the same time, none. You noticed with the corner of your eyes, Jensen constantly looking at you to check and typing something on his phone, probably letting Jared know what happened and why you headed off. He didn't try to talk to you, and honestly you were grateful for that. 

 Immediately when you entered the apartment, you went to the shower. The water was burning hot but it felt like nothing in your body. You didn't know what trigged you so hard, thinking about it, the situation was kind of quick and it could have been a million times worse. But you were so scared that he would fulfill his word. Mans like him don't just accept being rejected, you felt so small.... Almost guilty. Tears started to fall down desperately and sobs got out of your mouth. You didn't know how much time you passed in the bath but saw some clothes in the bed you were sleeping when you got out. A grey sweatshirt and some boys shorts. Jensen. 

 "Hey..." You said with a small voice standing by the door of the room Jensen was sleeping, seeing him sitting by the end of the bed scrolling through his phone. "Thanks for the clothes."

 "Comfort sweatshirt right?" He joked seeing you in his clothes, referring to when you stole it on set and he passed days looking for it until he found you sleeping in his coat and listen to the excuse that it was your 'comfort sweatshirt', that it made you happy and safe. "Hey... com' here" 

 Jensen said with a soft voice when he saw your face struggling to hold back the tears. He back out laying in the left side of the bed opening his arms for you to join him, and you immediately did. Nestling in his chest, he hugged you strong hearing you cry quietly into his neck. 

 "You know... This is not even the worst that happen to me." You said when you calmed down after some minutes of cuddling in silence and Jensen moved his face away just enough to stare at you, but stayed quiet waiting for you to get out of your chest whatever you needed. "These situations had been happening with me, well with all women, since before we even know what this means. Teachers, taxi driver's, superiors, random people in public places, friends... I just... Tell myself that the next time something like that happen I will stood up for it. But every time it happens I just loose all my courage." 

 "And this it's not on you (y/n). This is unacceptable, shouldn't be happening at all and it's not your fault not having a response for it. This shouldn't be a situation you must be prepared for." Jensen said frowning his eyebrows looking at you deadly serious. "I'm so sorry you have to go through that bullshit almost daily. It fucking pisses me off."

 "Yeah I'm sorry too." You said with a weak smile feeling him stroking his thumb slowly in your back where his hand stood. "Do you think he can fire me?"

"No." Jensen said with certain. "He has nothing to do with Supernatural productions. And even if he could, I wouldn't let them. If he wants you gone, i would be gone too." 

"Jensen..." You were speechless. "Us women really suffer daily, but it makes a little better knowing that there are at least some guys out there that truly respect us. I am lucky to have fell in a job full of you. I really appreciate what you did for me today Jensen." 

 "I'm always gonna be here for you (Y/N)... And it's truly that least I can do." Jensen said with a rough voice. "There was this time on set, before you were even in the series, that Jared's PA was harassed by a camera man... Nobody saw the moment and from one day to another she asked for resignation. Nobody understood and we continued to treat the guy like a friend for months until we finally discovered what happened. I just.... I'm just glad that I was there with you tonight." 

 You just gave him a small smile feeling your heart so full that could explode. It was an awful night, it really was. But Jensen... He was everything you could ever ask in a friend. You hugged him strong and got into a position where your foreheads were touching. Yours and Jensen's eyes were closed but you could feel his breathing and the warm of his lips almost touching yours. You didn't know how long you stayed in that position but you surely didn't want that to end. 

 "I could be like this every single day." You said before you even could stop yourself and frowned when the realization hit you. "Wait did I just confessed?"

 He squeezed your waist to make you open your eyes that stood close because of the embarrassment, and you had to hold your breath when saw Jensen's green eyes, so vivid, looking so close at your tenderly. 

 "Yeah? Cause I would too" Jensen breathed out feeling a weight off his chest. What that really happening? The women he had feeling for months now, in front of him telling she liked him? He saw in your eyes the relief you felt cause of his confession and slowly finally gave you a long chaste kiss.

 You both knew that this was enough for now. The cuddling, the comfort of each other and the lightness of knowing the feeling were both sided was enough. There was going to have the moment for your skin meet his and there was going to have the moment for a serious conversation about your feelings.

 But for now all that matters was being in each other arms, and sensing that the night that started like a nightmare turned into a dream.

Tagging: @esoltis280 @smoothdogsgirl @helloangelicaaaaa @sleepylunarwolf​ @sympathyforluci​ @mirandaaustin93​ @atc74​ @spnbaby-67​ @reginaphalange2403​ @hi-my-name-is-riley​ @mychemicalimagines​ @multifandomlover121​

[365days365movies]

April 12, 2021: Mrs. Doubtfire (1992) (Recap)

Hey, Robin Williams. Been a while.

I’m sorry that I haven’t watched your movies for a while, and that I always skip your comedy stand-up when my phone’s on shuffle. I just...let me explain. Since I was a kid, you were one of my favorite entertainers. That might as well have started the day I was born, because...well, we share a birthday, fun fact. But it definitely continued with the first movie I ever saw in theatres.

While I don’t quite remember the first time I saw it, Aladdin was one of my favorite childhood movies, and I knew that you were the voice of the Genie from an early age. You might have actually been the first actor I ever knew by name. Which makes sense, because your stardom during the ‘90s was nearly unparalleled.

The next film I remember seeing (and hearing) you in was Ferngully: The Last Rainforest. That also starred Tim Curry, who would also be a major figure of my childhood. It also wasn’t the best movie, in hindsight, but it is the only time I’ve heard you rap since.

But eventually, I watched your forays into live-action, too. Jumanji, Hook, even the objectively bad Flubber, are all movies that I vividly remember watching during childhood. I was really excited for Flubber, even, and I LOVED Jumanji growing up. I liked Hook, too, but I appreciated that more as I got older.

Of course, during this time period, you also made less family-friendly films. The Fisher King, Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets Society, Good Morning Vietnam, and What Dreams May Come were all very successful, and cemented your reputation as an actor. I also haven’t seen any of them. In fact...I don’t think I’ve seen any of your dramatic roles, and that’s something that I’ll fix this year. Hell, in a few days, I’ll watch The Birdcage, another of your big hits of the ‘90s.

But why haven’t I seen them up to now? Well...I was going to watch these films, about seven years ago. But...I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it. Because it hurts. A lot.

I know that this is a downer, but my relationship with Robin Williams today is tainted by his tragic death. I was fucking BROKEN when his death was announced, and I really haven’t been able to watch him since. I’ve seen Aladdin recently, but that’s about all I could stand to watch. I mean, the guy shares a birthday with me! I’ve always loved his comedy stylings, and his improvisational skills are something I’ve internalized to a certain degree.

So, yeah. This one’s tough. But, it’s about time I moved on, and celebrated the man’s career for what it was: stellar. And that also brings up an important question, that some of you have probably asked by now:

HOW HAVE I MISSED MRS. DOUBTFIRE, WHAT THE FUCK

I KNOW I KNOW OK?

Look, I’m not entirely sure how I haven’t seen this movie, because I’m MORE than aware of it! I remember it airing during the ‘90s, my Dad AND girlfriend love this movie, and I know FOR A FACT that my family owned both the DVD AND THE VHS of this movie! So, how? HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN IT BY NOW?

I honestly have no idea, but let’s fix it now, huh? Yet one more man-dresses-as-woman movie this month! And no, I am not watching White Chicks...because I’ve already seen White Chicks. Also, it’s...problematic.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

 Recap

Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams) is a voice-actor, and a good one. Which, given that it’s Robin Williams, isn’t entirely inaccurate. He’s also a voice actor with a spine, as he morally objects to a scene in the cartoon that he’s performing for, in which the main character smokes. By the way, I’m 99% sure that this cartoon is animated by Chuck Jones, and it looks well-made.

Anyway, this leads to him quitting the cartoon altogether, and allows him to pick up his kids early from school. These kids are Lydia (Lisa Hykub), Chris (Matthew Lawrence), and Natalie (Mara Wilson), and it’s Chris’ 12th birthday. Daniel arranges a...surprisingly large party, given that it’s completely impromptu, and it comes with a petting zoo and complete trappings. However, it’s not a party of which his wife will approve.

This wife is Miranda (Sally Field), a successful architect and the breadwinner of the family. After getting a call from the neighbor about the party, she comes home and busts the outrageous party. And for the record, I’m entirely on Miranda’s side here. This party is INSANE, and very irresponsible, given the fact that Daniel currently has no job. And yeah, he’s a very loving father, and a good person, but...it’s too much.

Miranda feels the same, and after 14 years of frustration, she realizes that she no longer loves Daniel. In a genuinely sad scene, she tells him that she wants a divorce. And she goes through with it MUCH to Daniel’s detriment. He has no home, as he’s staying with his brother, Frank (Harvey Fierstein) and his partner Jack (Scott Capurro). He also still has no job, meaning that he has no way to provide for his children. This means that he has no ability to provide, and the judge awards Miranda full custody. Oof.

However, this is a conditional arrangement, as another hearing for joint custody will be held in 3 months, and if Daniel can get a home and job in that time, he has a chance. He performs a litany of voices and impressions with his court liason, Mrs. Sellner (Anne Haney), which amuses me, but not her, and he gets a job in order to be with his kids for more than one day a week.

Meanwhile, Miranda IMMEDIATELY starts dating fellow designer and old flame Stuart Dunmeyer (Pierce Brosnan), like, almost before Daniel leaves the house. He bids a heartfelt goodbye to his kids, with the promise that he’ll see them on Saturdays. And now begins the absolute hatred and petty bitchiness of Daniel and Miranda! Seriously, it’s...it’s fucking terrible, and it takes away from my sympathy from either side. I get that divorce is rough and ugly, but GODDAMN, neither of them perform the act with any form of tact or grace.

This is put on display during the kids’ visitation to Daniel’s semi-crappy new apartment, which doesn’t even seem that bad, to be honest. Miranda dropped them off late and picked them up early, as if to slowly starve Daniel of time with his kids, which is extraordinarily shitty of her, fuck me. Daniel’s not taking it well, understandably, but then does something...really dumb, when you think about it.

See, Miranda’s looking for a nanny, to help watch the kids and clean the house during the week. Daniel volunteers his services, which is actually a good idea, but Miranda says she’ll think about it, which we ALL know means no. I DO NOT like Miranda, even if I understand the initial reasons for the divorce. She’s being especially spiteful, and it’s not a good look.

Daniel’s stupid idea, though, is to change the phone number on the ad for the nanny, which Miranda shows him before she takes the kids. Instead, he calls her number, and pretends to be various terrible applicants, until finally supplying his own applicant: the completely fictional Euphegenia Doubtfire��(Daniel Hillard).

Daniel plays Mrs. Doubtfire as an elderly British woman, and a seasoned nanny in her day. Which is why it’s weird to me that, when he does to Frank and Jack to help him make an elaborate disguise as Mrs. Doubtfire, that they go through various other impressions and get-ups. Which, yes, is goddamn hilarious, but also makes NO SENSE, given that they’ve already established her character to Miranda. Funny, but nonsensical.

But, regardless, Euphegenis Doubtfire comes into being, and introduces herself to Miranda and the kids. Mrs. Doubtfire is exactly what Miranda’s looking for, although the kids aren’t exactly overjoyed, ESPECIALLY the oldest, Lydia. Also, during this first meeting, Miranda openly bad-mouths Daniel in front of the kids, in just the WORST fuckin’ way. I genuinely dislike Miranda A LOT. Again, the divorce was certainly justified, but I REALLY don’t like her. Daniel loves his kids, and they’re HIS kids, TOO. Stop using them as weapons against him, OOOOOOOOOOOH I DON’T LIKE MIRANDA

Anyway, that evening, after she’s officially been hired by Miranda, Mrs. Doubtfire heads home, only to find court liason Mrs. Sellner waiting to speak with Daniel. After a litany of puns, and a humorous changing scene, Daniel accidentally throws the Mrs. Doubtfire mask out of the window, and is forced to improvise through equally humorous circumstances. Hence, the above meringue mask scene. Has anybody tried that, by the way? Could that work as a groundbreaking beauty technique? Or would the sugar just feed the skin bacteria and give you acne? Genuinely curious.

Now going between his job as Daniel and the nanny job as Doubtfire, Daniel’s not doing too badly for himself. The nanny job begins, and Mrs. Doubtfire IMMEDIATELY contrasts with Daniel, creating a disciplinarian atmosphere in place of Daniel’s formerly loosey-goosey attitude. Which is interesting, and it works! I mean, it’s not how I would parent, but it does work. Doubtfire makes the kids to their homework, rather than watch TV, and then attempts to make dinner. Instead, though, the dinner’s ruined, and Daniel orders takeout and makes it LOOK like homemade food. And it looks good, too! Daniel’s full of hidden talents.

After dinner, as Mrs. Doubtfire’s leaving, Lydia apologizes for backtalking her earlier, and thanks her for making her mom happy with everything she did that evening. he also says that she’s still a bit messed up about her dad being gone. And yeah, it’s sweet-but-sad. 

Going forward (and in a montage set to Aerosmith’s Dude Looks Like a Lady), Mrs. Doubtfire takes care of the family, and Daniel even betters himself to become a better Mrs. Doubtfire. Which...to be honest, Daniel REALLY should’ve done this before. I get that he needed the pressure of losing the kids to do this, but...look, Daniel really wasn’t that responsible of a parent, and the fact that THIS is how he learns to be so is...not great. Like, here’s an example, OK: take Donald Trump.

Yeah, I know, what’s this politics doing in my peanut butter? And WOW, that reference is older than me, but anyway. Let’s say that, in two years, a new politician comes on the scene, and her name is Karyn Walldottir. She has somewhat centrist views, and behaves in a way that’s inclusive to the majority, and backs up her claims and promises with evidence (at least true enough for us to suspend our disbelief). This is, of course, Donald Trump disguised as a woman in order to gain custody of the United States of America again. Naturally.

Karyn Walldottir gets elected in 2024, and all of her policies are markedly different from Trump’s and Biden’s, but leaning closer to Biden in progressive standpoints (assuming that that worked for him come 2024). While Trump is doing this specifically to be president again, he ends up revising his personal policies, and being a better person and president for the country. A literal impossibility, I know. But suspend your disbelief to ask this question:

WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T HE DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!

OK, now that that dumbass (and mildly horrifying) thought process is concluded, let’s get back to Mrs. Doubtfire. In the process of Mrs. Doubtfire’s ingratiation with the family, Miranda’s been dating Stu, whom Mrs. Doubtfire subtly insults when they meet. And yeah, Daniel’s being a little petty here, but it makes a bit of sense at least.

That night, after an accidental intrusion by Chris when Mrs. Doubtfire is going to the bathroom, Daniel’s basically forced to tell Chris and Lydia his little secret, which Lydia’s happy about, but Chris is understandably weirded out about. But, they agree to keep the secret from their mom and younger sister.

At his OTHER job, delivering film reels from a TV station, he witnesses the filming of an extremely boring kids educational TV show, and comments as such to another man watching. As he quickly learns, this is the owner of the station, Jonathan Lundy (Robert Prosky), on whom Daniel makes a good impression.

In the meantime, Mrs. Doubtfire has a talk with Miranda about their love lives, real and fictional. Daniel realizes how badly Miranda had been suffering in their marriage, which she never told him because...well, he never seemed to take anything seriously. Which is entirely fair...but this is why Miranda’s a tricky-ass character. She’s got two sides: there’s the justified caring mother and strong woman, and there’s the PETTY ASSHOLE who genuinely doesn’t care about Daniel or his feelings AT ALL. Jesus.

And Stu...look, Stu is LITERALLY a Gary Stu, who’s mostly perfect. Sure, he’s not always been that way, but he definitely is now! He’s responsible, wealthy, in love with Miranda AND her kids. And yeah, at a country club that he’s a member of (OF COURSE he is), he privately badmouth Daniel in front of Mrs. Doubtfire, calling him a loser, and...yeah, he’s not really unjustified in that statement. Fact of the matter is, Stu is barely even a plot device.

Meanwhile, in Daniel’s day job, he finds himself alone in the studio, where the toy dinosaurs from the TV show are still sitting on the table. He plays with them, gives them voices, sings some songs, and impresses Mr. Lundy, who’s there in the shadows after all that. He’s impressed, and invites Daniel to dinner to talk about a potential future show at the network.

But then, it’s also Miranda’s birthday coming up, and Stu’s holding a dinner for her, to which Mrs. Doubtfire is invited. Trouble is, it’s at the OH FUCK IT. YOU know what this is. It’s at the same time and place as the Mr. Lund meeting yaddayaddayadda LOOK. We ALL know how this is going to end. It’s the GODDAMN LIAR REVEALED TROPE AGAIN. And here’s the thing:

I FUGGIN’ HAAAAAATE THE LIAR REVEALED TROPE

You know, that thing in movies (especially family movies of the ‘90s) where somebody starts off a situation with a lie, they get deeper and deeper into that lie, grow close to people under false pretenses, and then OH NO! THE LIAR IS REVEALED! And everybody’s angry and/or sad, the liar slumps off, defeated and broken, but then realizes the error of his ways, while everybody else realizes the same thing, and he comes back to vindicate himself, and is welcomed back with open arms. And it introduces unneeded tension AND I HAVE ALWAYS FUCKING HATED IT.

Let’s list the examples, shall we? A Bug’s Life, Aladdin, Mulan, The Road to El Dorado, Chicken Run, How to Train Your Dragon, Klaus, Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted, Megamind (SUBVERSIVE MY ASS), Over the Hedge, Rango, Toy Story, Steven Universe (the whole Pearl/Sardonyx arc, which went on for WAY too long), the list goes on and fucking on. And I GODDAMN HATE IT. Not to say it can’t be done well. Disney actually usually does a pretty good job with it, and Dreamworks uses it A LOT, but almost always pretty well. But sometimes...GOD. Either way, it’s still used FAR too fucking much. And look. Here’s another one. Joy.

Look, at this point...I will freely admit that I'm biased against this trope, but it’s also obvious where this is headed. Basically, Daniel switches back and forth between the dinner with the family, and the dinner with Mr. Lundy. With Mr. Lundy, he gets absolutely SMASHED. Great. Great decision, Daniel.

So, yeah, Mrs. Doubtfire’s also smashed, which is pretty goddamn apparent to them all. At this point, I’m wondering why Daniel, as Mrs. Doubtfire, didn’t just say she was sick as hell, and had to go home. Or, considering the fact that Daniel proposes her as a show idea regardless, the switch wasn’t even necessary! And that means that none of what’s about to happen, happens. Or, here’s a crazy thought, maybe Daniel shouldn’t have POISONED STU’S FOOD WITH CAYENNE PEPPER THAT HE’S ALLERGIC TO! 

YEAH! Because that causes Stu to go into anaphylactic shock for a hot sec, causing him to choke. Mrs. Doubtfire does the right thing and gives him the Heimlich maneuver, and in the process, SURPRISE! IT’S BEEN DANIEL ALL ALONG! BUH BUH BUHHHHH DA DA DA DAAAAA DA

Yeah, so Miranda is understandably ENRAGED by this revelation, and it’s all over. Daniel represents himself in court at the custody hearing, but the judge deems his “lifestyle” dangerous for children. Which...yikes, Judge, that statement didn’t age well AT FUCKING ALL. But, given Daniel’s admitted stupidity with this whole idea, he’s not wrong about the dangerous part. But, I have to say, Daniel’s speech in his own defense is nice...although he also says he’s addicted to his children, so let’s throw a second yikes on there for good measure.

The speech moves Miranda...but not enough to prevent Daniel has his custody stripped away from him! GOD THEY BOTH SUUUUUUUUCK. Daniel’s a broken man, and Miranda and the kids are similarly broken without him and Mrs. Doubtfire. However...Daniel’s career isn’t broken AT ALL, as Mrs. Doubtfire is now a kid’s show host! Yeah! And she’s a hit! And again, it brings me to wonder why Daniel DIDN’T APPLY HIS OBVIOUS TALENTS LIKE THIS IN THE FIRST GODDAMN PLACE

Realizing that she made a mistake, she goes to the set during the filming of a show. She congratulates him on the show, and he replies by stating how broken he is now! Thanks, Miranda! Well, after an argument, and after Miranda sees how badly she’s messed up someone she used to care for, they come to an agreement: joint custody. FINALLY GODDAMN IT

And good, because I don’t want them back together. I have to give this film props for that: they acknowledge that these two are NOT good for each other, and they deliver a message in the end: families are families, no matter how they’re shaped. One mom, one dad, uncle or aunt, grandparents, adoption, two separated or divorced parents...oh, also, two dads or two moms. Yeah, that isn’t said in Mrs. Doubtfire’s final monologue, which is odd considering Daniel’s brother and his life partner...but it’s also kid’s TV in the ‘90s, so I guess that sadly makes sense. And with that, and their new family arrangement, Daniel takes his kids on an afternoon out, as himself.

...Look. That’s Mrs. Doubtfire, yaddayaddayadda LOOK. I don’t dislike this movie. In fact, here: have this mini-Review:

Cast and Acting - 9/10: Good, although Brosnan was a little stiff.

Plot and Writing - 5/10: It’s an idiot plot, what can I say? It’s actually based off of a book, which was a surprise to me, but it was adapted by Randi Mayem Singer and Leslie Dixon, and...eh. Still an idiot plot.

Directing and Cinematography - 8/10: It’s Chris Columbus, you get what you get. Definitely has that Home Alone flair to it.

Production and Art Design - 8/10: I mean, yeah, the Doubtfire disguise was good most of the time, but...I dunno, I could still tell it was Robin. But, still, it was good. Took 4 hours of makeup, fun fact.

Music and Editing - 8/10: Music by Howard Shore (ooh, Howard Shore!) was pretty nice, especially the ending theme. Editing by Raja Gosnell was...RAJA GOSNELL???

OH GOD. Yeah, OK, I see what happened here. Also, I didn’t know he was an editor! I just know him as the director of the Scooby-Doo films, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, The Smurfs films, Big Momma’s...

...OK, no, I am not doing Big Momma’s House OR the Madea movies. THE TROPE-BUCK STOPS HERE! I am moving on to something else! But, of course, I have to sum this up in a Review. See you there!

[51kas81]

Twelve Dreams of Dr Sardonicus by Spirit

My parents were desperate for me to like classical music, but I just couldn’t buy into the length of the pieces. Then they played me Adagio for Strings by Samuel Barber and it was so beautiful, I cried. My school music teacher, Mr Vassal, asked for our favourite composers; I said Samuel Barber and he laughed at me. But eventually everyone caught up.

There was a Beatles versus Stones vibe at school. I was on the Beatles side. The first single I bought was Wild Thing by the Troggs and the first album was Bookends by Simon and Garfunkel. I loved Father and Son by Cat Stevens, because it made me think of me and my dad. My tastes weren’t shocking; they just needed to open up. Then, when I was 17, I went to hospital to have my tonsils out and my brother bought me some records and this mobile turntable in a suitcase.

Twelve Dreams of Dr Sardonicus by Spirit had the most amazing way of manipulating stereo. I was just blown away. I have to thank my brother; he turned me on to Joni Mitchell, Andy Pratt and Little Feat and opened up my boundaries.

Little Brother, Little Sister

My mother, Helen Shingler, was famous during my teens for playing Madame Maigret in a BBC series based on the Georges Simenon stories. My father, Seafield Head, was a producer and director at Verity Films, the documentary film company. Every year, a family friend’s mum would hire this huge barn and put on a play. I had a bit part in The Jackdaw of Rheims. The next year, I got to be the Emperor in The Emperor’s New Clothes. As I walked through the audience, all heads turned towards me and I remember thinking: “This is what I want to do for a living.”

I applied to the National Youth Theatre and the Central School of Speech and Drama, but I didn’t get in, so my father hired me as a runner and assistant editor. Working in the cutting rooms was fascinating. Then I enrolled at The Young Stagers at the Thorndike theatre in Leatherhead, run by this lovely woman called Joan MacAlpine. She directed me in an extraordinary piece called Little Brother, Little Sister, which got me into the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art. My teacher said: “If anybody can make me cry, I’ll take them to the theatre.” I did my piece again and made her cry.

The Rocky Horror Show

I remember being taken to The Rocky Horror Show on Kings Road when I was at drama school in my late teens. Tim Curry was playing Dr Frank-N-Furter – the role that he repeated in the film. Watching The Rocky Horror Show ignited something in my core. I knew I had acting in my blood because of my mother. Now I couldn’t wait to finish drama school and try to make it in the real world.

I finally got to play Dr Frank-N-Furter when The Rocky Horror Show came to the Piccadilly theatre in 1990. The exciting thing about acting is that you shouldn’t know what’s coming out of the actor’s mouth next – and I didn’t hold back. I just let whatever was going on inside of me come out in the character. That was life-changing for me as an actor. It made me realise that there’s nowhere that you can’t go.

Friends would come to see me perform and later say that they hardly recognised me, I was so out of character. As an actor, that’s a huge compliment.

Judi Dench

Judi Dench and Maurice Denham in 1966’s Talking to a Stranger. Photograph: Everett Collection/Alamy

One of Judi Dench’s early roles was this show on BBC Two called Talking to a Stranger, with Michael Bryant, Maurice Denham and Margery Mason. It’s about this family who are at odds with each other. Each of the four parts focuses on one family member’s view of what is going on around them. I thought it was beautiful, amazing and absolutely genius and I just fell in love with Judi. I thought that she was the most amazing actress – and still do. Judi taught me that acting can be at its best when it is very subtly underplayed. The core of believing an actor is buying into the fact that they’re not acting.

I got to play the rather unpleasant suitor of one of her on-screen daughters in Love in a Cold Climate on the BBC in the early 00s. I’m sure I must have said to Judi: ‘I think you’re so wonderful.’ Actors need appreciation and recognition. I suppose for me that will always be for Buffy, because Buffy was so different and so pivotal for its time. The episode called The Body, where Buffy’s mum dies, is the most extraordinary piece of writing and misdirection. I’m very grateful to have done so many evocative things that so many people have latched on to.

Paul Newman

Robert Redford and Paul Newman in 1969’s Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Photograph: Photos 12/Alamy

I love Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Each act is so brilliantly put together; it’s a stunning piece of writing. Both Robert Redford and Paul Newman are phenomenal, but Newman especially I’ve always loved, because he’s so believable that he instantly transports you into the story. I also loved Henry Fonda in Once Upon a Time in the West, in which he plays the baddie, which is unusual.

I often get cast as baddies. I don’t know why. I play Rupert Mannion on [the Apple TV+ sitcom] Ted Lasso. He’s a particularly unpleasant character and a complete narcissist, but you know where he’s coming from. To make somebody believable, you have to see their point of view. You don’t need to like them, but you have to be on board with what’s driving them.

I’m also in an episode of the new series of Back with David Mitchell and Robert Webb. I get to play a totally self-absorbed character called Charismatic Mike, who was great fun to play. It’s always been my theory that actors are hugely insecure, which is why we love dressing up and being someone else, because we don’t have to be in our own heads and bodies. Then we can express things that we may feel deep down and blame it on the character.

Lord of the Flies

At drama school, I really liked the people on the stage-managing course who were studying things like costume, lighting and prop-making. People used to say: you have to behave like a star to be thought of as a star. So, traditionally, a lot of actors take stage managers for granted.

I get very cross with actors who just throw their clothes on the floor. I said to one actor recently: “Costume are here before you, setting up your clothes, and they’re here after you’ve gone. Pick up your clothes, put them on a hanger in your cupboard. It’s not a big deal.” Teamwork is important.

At school, one of the books that blew me away was Lord of the Flies. It’s also about teamwork and not necessarily someone standing in front becoming the leader. In your teens, the world is yours to do what you want with. As you grow up, you realise you’re just part of something much bigger. Now more than ever, life should be about teamwork and for the cause of the greater good.

School’s Out Forever is available on digital from 15 February and DVD and Blu-ray from 12 April

[dustedmagazine]

Dust, Volume 7, Number 7

What are Grandbrothers doing to that piano?

Greetings from under the heat dome, where shipments of vinyl are melting mid-journey and even the coolest of cool jazz sounds a little wilted by the time it reaches your ear. We are sitting in the shade. We are drinking lemonade and iced tea. We are looking for the window fans and lugging old air condition units up from the basement. We are, perhaps, headed to the community pool for the first time since our kids were young, though also, perhaps not. In any case, we are still getting through piles of recorded music, even in this heat, and finding some gems. Here are dispatches from the furthest reaches of Japanese psych, European free jazz, self-released indie folk, Irish lockdown angst, Moroccan raging punk and lots of other stuff. Contributors included Mason Jones, Jennifer Kelly, Bill Meyer, Tim Clarke, Bryon Hayes, Jonathan Shaw, Arthur Krumins and Chris Liberato. Stay cool.

Yuko Araki — End of Trilogy (Room40)

End Of Trilogy by Yuko Araki

These 16 tracks whoosh past in just 35 minutes, with most of them clocking in around two minutes in length. Many don't reach a conclusion: they simply end abruptly, and the next one starts. Araki manipulates electronics to create whirling, sizzling atmospheres of confusion, sometimes fast-moving burbles of percussion and synths, at other moments pushing distorted hissing and confrontational tones to the front. The aptly-named "Dazed" begins with a cinematic feel, then its galactic drones give way to static and metallic scrapes. "Positron in Bloom" is like a chorus of machine voices shouting angry curses into space, and "Dreaming Insects" sounds as if the titular creatures are being pulled downstream in fast-moving rapids. Oscillating between menacing and humorous, End of Trilogy's bite-sized pieces of surrealist electronics are never boring.

Mason Jones

 Alexander Biggs — Hit or Miss (Native Tongue Music Publishing)

Hit or Miss by Alexander Biggs

Alexander Biggs blunts sharp, stinging lyrics in the sweetest sort of strummy indie-pop, working very much in the Elliott Smith style of sincerity edged with lacerating irony. “All I Can Do Is Hate You” finds a queasy intersection between soft pop and tamped down rage, Biggs murmuring phrases like “I want you to fuck me til I can’t say your name,” but melodically, over cascades of acoustic guitar. “Madeline” is the pick of the litter here, a dawdling jangle of guitar framing knife-sharp lyrics about romantic disillusionment. “Miserable,” sports a bit of lap steel for emotional resonance, demonstrating once more, if you had any doubt, that very sad songs can make you feel better somehow. Biggs is good at both the softness and the sting, and for guy-with-a-guitar albums, that’s what you need.

Jennifer Kelly

 Christer Bothén 3 — Omen (Bocian)

Omen by Christer Bothén 3

Dusted’s collective consciousness has spent a lot of time considering Blank Forms’ recent publication, Organic Music Societies, which considers Don and Moki Cherry’s convergence of artistic and familial efforts during the 1960s and 1970s, as well as the two archival recordings by Don and associates, which shed light upon his Scandinavian musical activities. All three are worth your attention, but their liveliness is shaded by the awareness that almost every hopeful soul involved is no longer with us. But Christer Bothén, who introduced Don to the donso ngoni and subsequently played in his bands for many years, is not only among the living, he’s got breath to spare. This trio recording doesn’t delve into the African sounds that bonded Bothén and Don. Rather, the Swede’s bass clarinet draws bold and emphatically punctuated melodic lines, driven by a steaming rhythm section that takes its cues from Ornette Coleman’s mid-1960s trio recordings. This music may not sound new, but it’s full of lived-in knowledge and vigor.

Bill Meyer

Briars of North America — Supermoon (Brassland)

Supermoon by Briars of North America

New York-based trio Briars of North America take patient, painterly, occasionally cosmic approach to folk music. With “Sala,” Supermoon sounds like a backwoods Sigur Ros. A falsetto voice intoning a made-up language arcs elegantly over sustained waves of electric piano. Soon after, the album touches down into more grounded guitar-and-cello territory on pieces such as “Island” and “Chirping Birds,” which bring to mind Nick Drake, albeit less contrary or withdrawn. At the album’s midway point, the listener is carried into the aether with the eerie sustained brass and wordless vocals of the eight-minute “The Albatross of Infinite Regress.” A similar space is explored at the album’s end with the 12-minute “Sleepy Not Sleepy,” as strings and warbling synthesizer tones intermingle with the return of the made-up language. Though the band’s more conventional vocal-led songs, such as “Spring Moon,” are decent enough, Briars of North America touch upon something expansive and ineffable when they explore their more experimental side.

Tim Clarke

 Bryan Away — Canyons to Sawdust (self-released)

Chicago-based actor, composer and multi-instrumentalist Elliot Korte releases music under the moniker Bryan Away. His new album, Canyons to Sawdust, begins with what feels like two introductions. “Well Alright Then” is a Grizzly Bear-style scene-setter for wordless voices, strings and woodwinds, while “Within Reach” sounds like a tentative cover of Radiohead’s “Pyramid Song” that runs out of steam before it had the chance to build momentum. The first full song, single “The Lake,” gets the album up and running in earnest with its melancholy piano and string arrangement spiked with pizzicato plucks and bright acoustic guitar figures. Half Waif lends her vocal talents to “Dreams and Circumstance,” another highlight featuring some lovely interplay between guitar arpeggios and drum machine. One pitfall of exploring romantic musical territory is the risk of sounding a tad saccharine, and the weakest links in the album, companion tracks “Scenes From a Marriage” and “Scenes From a Wedding,” have the kind of performative tone you’d expect to find on the soundtrack of a mainstream romantic comedy. Elsewhere, though, Korte’s judgment is sound, and there’s plenty of elegant music to be found. Fans of Sufjan Stevens will no doubt find a lot to like, and it’ll be interesting to see where Bryan Away ventures next.

Tim Clarke

 Jonas Cambien Trio — Nature Hath Painted Painted The Body (Clean Feed)

Nature Hath Painted the Body by Jonas Cambien Trio

On its third album, the Jonas Cambien Trio has attained such confidence that it’s willing to mess with its signature sound. The Oslo-based combo’s fundamental approach is to stuff the expressive energy and textural adventure of free jazz into compositions that are by turns intricate and rhythmically insistent but always pithy. This time, the Belgian-born pianist Cambien also plays soprano sax and organ. The former, stirred into André Roligheten’s bundle of reed instruments, brings airy respite from the music’s tight structures; the latter, dubbed into locked formation with the piano and jostled by Andreas Wildhagen’s restlessly perambulating percussion, expands the music’s tonal colors. The tunes themselves have grown more catchy, so much so that their twists and turns only become apparent with time and repeat listening.

Bill Meyer

Ferran Fages / Lluïsa Espigolé — From Grey To Blue (Inexhaustible Editions)

From Grey To Blue by Ferran Fages

When discussion turns to a pianist’s touch, it’s tempting to think mainly of what they do with their fingers. But it must be said that Lluïsa Espigolé exhibits some next-level footwork on this realization of Ferran Fages’ From Grey To Blue. Fages is a multi-instrumentalist who functions equally persuasively within the realms of electroacoustic improvisation and heavy jazz-rock, but for this piece, which was devised specifically for Espigolé, he uses written music and an instrument he doesn’t play, the piano, to engage with resonance and melody. The three-part composition advances with extreme deliberation, often one note at a time, turning the tune into a ghostly presence and foregrounding the details of the decay of each sound. This music is so sparse that the shift to chords in the third section feels dramatically dense after a half hour of single sounds and corresponding silences. The elements of this music have been sculpted with such exquisite control that one wonders if Catalonia has looked into insuring Espigolé’s feet; her way with the piano’s pedals is a cultural resource.

Bill Meyer   

 Grandbrothers — All the Unknown (City Slang)

All the Unknown by Grandbrothers

The duo known as Grandbrothers hooks a grand piano up to an array of electronic interfaces, deriving not just the clear, gorgeous notes you expect, but also a variety of percussive and sustained sounds from the classic keyboard. In this third album from the two—that’s pianist Erol Sarp and electronic engineer Lukas Vogel—construct intricate, joyful collages, working clarion melodies into sharp, pointillist backgrounds. The obvious reference is Hauscka, who also works with prepared piano and electronics, but rather than his moody beauties, these compositions pulse with rave-y, trance-y exhilaration. If you ever wondered what it would sound like if the Fuck Buttons decided to cover Steve Reich, well, maybe like this, precise and complex and shimmering, but also huge and triumphant. Good stuff.

Jennifer Kelly

 id m theft able — Well I Fell in Love with the Eye at the Bottom of the Well (Pogus Productions)

Well I Fell in Love With the Eye at the Bottom of the Well by id m theft able

Al Margolis’ Pogus Productions imprint has cast its gaze toward the strange happenings in Maine, netting a mutant form of electroacoustic wizardry in the process. Scott Spear is the one-man maelstrom known as id m theft able, an incredibly prolific and confounding presence in the American northeast. He draws influence from musique concrète and sound poetry, but adds a whimsical spirit, a tinker’s ingenuity and the comedic timing of a master prankster to his compositions. Sometimes this leads to the bemusement of his audience, but he tempers any surface madness with an endless curiosity and a playful sense of the meaning of the word music. Well I Fell in Love with the Eye at the Bottom of the Well ostensibly came to be via Spear’s desire to create a doo-wop tune. Only Spear himself knows whether this is fact or fiction, because it is clear from the opening moments of “Shun, Unshun and Shun” that this disc is full of sonic non-sequiturs, amplified clatter and delightful mouth happenings that are as far removed from doo-wop as possible. The madness is frequently tempered with beautiful moments: a broken music box serenades a flock of chirping birds in the middle of a mall, Spear hypnotically chants at a landscape of crickets, flutes pipe along to the patter of rain on a window. As one gets deeper into the record, the sound poetry aspects become more and more pronounced, such as on “The Curve of the Earth” and the closing piece, “Purple Rain.” Those seeking a humor-filled gateway drug into that somewhat perilous corner of the sonic spectrum would be wise to pop an ear in the direction of this frenetic assemblage of sound.

Bryon Hayes

Mia Joy — Spirit Tamer (Fire Talk)

Spirit Tamer by Mia Joy

Mia Joy turns the temperature way down on gauzy Spirit Tamer, constructing translucent castles in the air out of musical elements that you can see and hear right through. The artist, known in real life as Mia Rocha, opens with a brief statement of intent in a one-minute title track that wraps wisps of vocal melody with indistinct but lovely sustained tones. The whole track feels like looking at clouds. Other cuts are more substantial, with muted rock band instruments like acoustic and electric guitars and drum machines, but even indie-leaning “Freak” and "Ye Old Man,” are quiet epiphanies. Rocha sounds like she is singing to herself softly, inwardly, without any thought of an audience, but also so close that it tickles the hair in your ears. Rocha closes with a cover of Arthur Russell’s “Our Last Night Together,” letting rich swells of piano stand in for cello, but tracing the subtle, undulating lines of his melody in an airy register, an octave or two higher. Like Russell, Rocha sets up an interesting interplay between deep introversion and presentation for the public eye; she’s not doing it for us, but we’re listening anyway.

Jennifer Kelly  

 Know//Suffer — The Great Dying (Silent Pendulum Records)

The Great Dying by KNOW//SUFFER

It’s not inaccurate to describe The Great Dying as a hardcore record. You’ll hear all the burly breakdowns; buzzing, overdriven guitars; and grimly declaimed vocals that characterize the genre, which since the mid-1990s has moved ever closer to metal. But Know//Suffer have consistently infused their music with sonic elements associated with other genres of heavy music. Most of the El Paso band’s 2019 EP bashed and crashed along with grindcore’s psychotic, sprinting energy. The Great Dying is a longer record, and it slows down the proceedings considerably. There are flirtations with sludge, and even with noise rock’s ambivalent gestures toward melody: imagine Tad throwing down with a mostly-sober version of Eyehategod, and you’re more than halfway there. As ever, Toast Williams emotes forcefully, giving word to a very contemporary version existential dread. But there’s frequently a political edge to the lyrics on this new record. On “Thumbnail,” he sings, “I swallow what must be hidden / Hoping assimilation makes me whole / The whole that everyone thinks I am / Smiling under this mask knowing / I’m not hiding my face in public.” “Assimilation” is a loaded word, especially on the Southern Border, and it’s no joke walking around in public as a proud black man anywhere in Texas. Wearing a mask as you walk into Target? P.O.C. stand a chance of getting shot. Know//Suffer still sound really pissed off, but the objects of their anger seem increasing outside of their tortured psyches, located in the lifeworld’s social planes of struggle. That gives their grim music an even harder charge, and makes Williams’s performances of rage even more powerful.  

Jonathan Shaw  

 Heimito Künst — Heimito Künst (Dissipatio)

HEIMITO KÜNST by Heimito Künst

The debut album from Italian experimental instrumentalist Heimito Künst, recorded over several years in his home studio, uses an array of electronic and primitive instrumentation to create an overall woozy, dark atmosphere. From groaning, atonal slabs of organ, like a detuned church service, to murmuring field recordings and scrapings, these seven tracks are less like songs and more like unsettling journeys through sound. Pieces like "Talking to Ulises" blend quiet Farfisa tones and a wordlessly singing voice in the distance. Ironically, although the final track is titled "Smoldering Life", it's unexpectedly brighter, with major-key synth notes over the cloudy sound of a drum being bashed to pieces before ending with an almost gentle, summertime feel.

Mason Jones

Jeanne Lee — Conspiracy (moved-by-sound)

Conspiracy by JEANNE LEE

Lots of 1960s and 1970s jazz reissues offer beautiful music, but few redefine how liberating improvised music can be. Conspiracy, originally recorded in 1974 by Lee on vocals with an ensemble that includes Sam Rivers and Gunter Hampel, falls into the latter category without feeling forced. It combines sound poetry, the conversation of spontaneity, and grooves that don’t stay on repetition but still get ingrained into your brain somehow. Best digested in a contemplative sitting, the album demands you give your whole attention to the direction of the music and words mixed with extended vocal techniques. The sound shifts from a full-on medley of flutes, drums, bass and horns with voice, to more minimal experiments. The recording is clean and uncluttered, even at its busiest. A lushly enjoyable listen.

Arthur Krumins   

 Sarah Neufeld — Detritus (Paper Bag)

Detritus by Sarah Neufeld

Sarah Neufeld’s third solo album grew out of a collaboration with the Toronto choreographer Peggy Baker, begun before the pandemic but dealing anyway with loss, intimacy and grief. The violinist and composer works, as a consequence with a strong sense of movement, underlining rhythms with repeated, slashing motifs in her own instrument and pounding drums (that’s Jeremy Gara, who, like Neufeld, plays in Arcade Fire). You can imagine movement to nearly all these songs. “With Love and Blindness” rushes forward in a wild swirl of strings, given weight by the buzz of low-toned synthesizer and airiness in the layer of denatured vocals; you see whirling, bending, graceful gestures. “The Top” proceeds in quicker, more playful patterns; agile kicks and jumps and shimmies are implied in its contours. “Tumble Down the Undecided” has a raw, passionate undertow, its play of octave-separated notes frantic and agitated and the drumming, when it comes, fairly gallops. This latter track is perhaps the most enveloping, the notes caroming wildly in all directions, in the thick of the struggle but full of joy.

Jennifer Kelly

Aaron Novik — Grounded (Astral Editions)

Grounded by Aaron Novik

Aaron Novik is a clarinetist with an extensive background in jazz, klezmer, rock and in-between stuff, but you wouldn’t know any of that from listening to this tape. Its ten numbered instrumentals sound more derived from the sound worlds of 1970s PBS documentaries, Residents records of similar vintage, and Pop Corn’s fluke hit, “Pop Corn.” Recorded during the spring of 2020, when Novik’s new neighborhood, Queens, became NYC’s COVID central, it manifests coping strategy that many people learned well last year; when the outside world is fucked and scary, retreat to a room and then head down a rabbit hole. In this case, that meant sampling Novik’s clarinets and arranging them into perky, bobbing instrumentals. The sounds themselves aren’t processed, but it turns out that when recontextualized, long, blown tones and keypad clatter sound a lot like synths and mechanized beats. There’s a hint of subconscious longing in this music. While it was made in a time and place when many people didn’t leave the house, it sounds like just the thing for outdoor constitutionals with a Walkman.

Bill Meyer  

 Off Peak Arson — S-T (Self-released)

Self Titled by Off Peak Arson

Presumably named after the Truman's Water song — a fairly obscure name check, indeed — Off Peak Arson hail from Memphis, TN. Their debut EP's five songs are less reminiscent of their namesakes than of heavier, noisier bands like Zedek-era Live Skull, Dustdevils and Sonic Youth. Which is not a bad thing at all. The four-piece leverage the dual guitars to nicely intense effect, and with all four members contributing vocals there's a lot going on, at times blending an interesting sing-song pop feel with the twisty-noisy guitar. The band have a way of finding memorable hooks amidst sufficient cacophony to keep things challenging while also somehow catchy. Keep your ears open for more from this quartet.

Mason Jones

 Barre Phillips / John Butcher / Ståle Liavik Solberg — We Met – And Then (Relative Pitch)

We met - and then by Phillips, Butcher, Solberg

In 2018, ECM Records issued End To End, a CD by double bassist Barre Phillips which capped a half-century of solo recording. You might expect this act to signal the winding down of the California-born, France-based improviser’s career; after all, he was born in 1934. And yet, in 2018 he played the first, but not the last, concert by this remarkable trio, which is completed by British soprano/tenor saxophonist John Butcher and Norwegian percussionist Ståle Liavik Solberg. Recorded in Germany and Norway during 2018 and 2019, this CD presents an ensemble whose members are strong in their individual concepts, but are also committed to making music that is completed by acts of collective imagination. The music is in constant flux, but purposeful. This intentionality is expressed not only through action, but through the conscious yielding of space, as though each player knows what openings will be best occupied by one of their comrades.

Bill Meyer

Round Eye — Culture Shock Treatment (Paper +Plastick)

“Culture Shock Treatment,” the lead-off track from this unhinged and ecletic album, swings like 1950s rock and roll, a sax frolicking in the spaces between sing-along choruses. And yet, the gleeful skronk goes a little past freewheeling, spinning off into chaos and wheeling back in again. Picture Mark Sultan trying to ride out the existential disorder of early Pere Ubu, add a horn line and step way back, because this is extremely unruly stuff. Round Eye, a band of expatriates now living in Shanghai, slings American heartlands oddball post-punk into unlikely corners. Frantic jackhammer hardcore beats (think Black Flag) assault free-from experimental calls and responses (maybe Curlew?) in “5000 Miles, “ and as a kicker, it’s a commentary on ethno-nationalist repression (“Thank…the country. Thank…the culture”). “I Am the Foreigner” hums and buzzes with exuberance, like a hard-edged B-52s, but it’s about the alienation that these Westerners most likely experience, every day in the Middle Kingdom. This is one busy album, exhausting really, a whac-a-mole entertainment where things keep popping out of holes and getting hammered back, but it is never, ever dull.

Jennifer Kelly

 So Cow — Bisignis (Dandy Boy)

Bisignis by So Cow

This new So Cow record is a mood. Specifically, that mood during the third and “least fun” of Ireland’s lockdowns, when you head to your shed and bash out an album about everything that’s been lodged in your craw during a year of isolation — including, of all things, the crowd at a Martha Wainwright show (on “Requests”). And while sole Cow member Brian Kelly might have dubbed the record Bisignis, the Old English word for anxiety, it’s his discontent that takes center stage. “Talking politics with friends/Jesus Christ it never ends” Kelly sings on early highlight “Leave Group” before employing a guitar solo that could pass for some seriously fried bagpipes to help clear the room. This album takes the opposite approach of The Long Con, the project’s 2014 Goner Records one-off where So Cow made more complex moves towards XTC and Futureheads territory but obscured its greatest weapon: Kelly’s deadpan wit. And while a couple of these songs overstay their welcome with their sheer garage punk simplicity, others like “Somewhere Fast” work in the opposite way and win your ears over with repeat listens. “You are the reason I’m getting out of my own way,” Kelly sings, and in doing so has produced the project’s best full-length in a decade. So what? So Cow!

Chris Liberato 

 Taqbir — Victory Belongs to Those Who Fight for a Right Cause (La Vida Es Un Mus)

Victory Belongs To Those Who Fight For A Right Cause by Taqbir

In our super-saturated musical environment, another eight-minute, 7” record of scorching punk burners isn’t much of an event. But the appearance of Taqbir’s Victory Belongs to Those Who Fight for a Right Cause (the title is almost longer than the record itself) is at the very least a significant occurrence. The band comes from Morocco and features a woman out front, declaiming any number of contemporary socio-political ills. So there’s little wonder that the Internet isn’t bursting with info about Taqbir; you can find a Maximumrocknroll interview, some chatter about the record here and there, and not much else. It must take enormous courage to make music like this in Morocco, and even more to be a woman making music like this. The long reign of King Mohammed IV has edged the country toward marginal increments of cultural openness — if not thoroughgoing political reform — but conservative Islam and economic struggle are still dominant forces, combining to keep women relegated to submissive social roles. And the band is not fucking around: their name is a Moroccan battle cry, synonymous with “Alu Akbar!” Their repurposing of that slogan in support of their anti-traditionalist, anti-religious, anti-capitalist positions likely makes life in a place like Tangier or Casablanca pretty hard. The songs? They’re really good. Check out “Aisha Qandisha” (named for a folkloric phantasm that ambiguously mobilizes the feminine as murderous and rapacious monster): the music slashes and burns with just the right dash of melody, the vocals go from a simmer to a full-on rolling boil. Taqbir! y’all. Stay safe, stay strong and make some more records.

Jonathan Shaw

 TOMÁ — Atom (Self-Release)

Atom by TOMÁ

Tomá Ivanov operates in interstices between smooth jazz and soul-infused electronics, splicing bits of torchy world traditions in through the addition of singers. You could certainly draw connections to the funk-leaning IDM of artists like Flying Lotus and Dam-Funk, where pristine instrumental sounds—strings, piano, percussion—meet the pop and glitch of cyber-soul. Guest artists flavor about half the tracks, pushing the music slightly off its center towards rap (“A Different You featuring I Am Tim”), quiet storm soul (“Outsight featuring Vivian Toebich”), falsetto’d art pop (“Catharsis featuring Lou Asril”) or dreaming soul-jazz experiments (“Blind War featuring Ben LaMar Gay”). Thoughout, the Bulgarian composer and guitarist paces expansive ambiences with shuffling, staggering beats, roughing up slick surfaces with just enough friction to keep things interesting.

Jennifer Kelly  

 The Tubs — Names EP (Trouble In Mind)

Names EP by The Tubs

“I don’t know how it works” declared The Tubs on their debut single, but they’re diving right in anyways on its follow-up, Names, with four songs that explore the self and self-other relationship. Their cover of Felt’s “Crystal Ball” tightens the musical tension of the original in places but still allows enough slack for singer Owen Williams to stretch the lyrical refrain — about the ability of another to see us better than we see ourselves — into a more melancholy shape than Lawrence. Of the EP’s three originals, Felt’s influence is most obvious in George Nicholls’ guitar work on “Illusion,” especially when the change comes and his lead spirals off Deebank-style behind Williams while he questions his connection to his own reflection. “Is it just an illusion staring back at me?” “The Name Song” is the longest one here at over three minutes, and in a similar way to The Feelies, it feels like it could go on forever, which might prove useful if Williams adds more names to his don’t-care-about list. “Two Person Love” is the best track of the bunch, though, with its classic sounding riff that swoops in and out allowing room for the chiming and chugging rhythm section to do the hard work. The relationship in the song might have been “pissed up the wall,” as Williams in his Richard Thompson-esque drawl puts it, but The Tubs certainly seem to have figured out how this music thing works.

Chris Liberato

 Venus Furs — S-T (Silk Screaming)

Venus Furs by Venus Furs

Venus Furs sounds like band, but in fact, it’s one guy, Paul Krasner, somehow amassing the squalling roar of psychedelic guitar rock a la Brian Jonestown Massacre or Royal Baths all by himself. These songs have a large-scale swagger and layers and layers of effected guitars, as on the careening “Friendly Fire,” or hailstorm assault of “Paranoia.” A ponderous, swaying bass riff girds “Living in Constant.” Its nodding repetition grounds radiating sprays of surf guitar. You have to wonder how all this would play out in concert, with Krasner running from front mic to bass amp to drum kit as the songs unfold, but on record it sounds pretty good. Long live self-sufficiency.

Jennifer Kelly

 Witch Vomit — Abhorrent Rapture (20 Buck Spin)

Abhorrent Rapture by Witch Vomit

Witch Vomit has one of the best names in contemporary death metal (along with Casket Huffer, Wharflurch and Snorlax — perversely inspired handles, all), and the Portland-based band has been earning increasing accolades for its records, as well. They are deserved. Witch Vomit plays fast, dense and dissonant songs, bearing the impress of Incantation’s groundbreaking (gravedigging?) records. Does that mean it’s “old school”? Song titles from the band’s previous LP Buried Deep in a Bottomless Grave (2019) certainly played to traditionalists’ tastes: “From Rotten Guts,” “Dripping Tombs,” “Fumes of Dying Bodies.” And so on. This new EP doesn’t indicate any significant changes in trajectory or tone, but the songwriting makes the occasional move toward melody. See especially the second half of “Necrometamorphosis,” which has a riff or two that one could almost call “pleasant.” If that seems paradoxical, check out the EP’s title. Is that an event, a gruesome skewing of Christianity’s big prize for the faithful? Or is it an affective state, in which abject disgust somehow builds to ecstatic transport? Who knows. For the band’s part, Witch Vomit keeps chugging, thumping and squelching along, doling out doleful songs like “Purulent Burial Mound.” Yuck. Sounds about right, dudes.

Jonathan Shaw

 yes/and — s-t (Driftless Recordings)

yes/and by yes/and

This collaboration between guitarist Meg Duffy (Hand Habits) and producer Joel Ford (Oneohtrix Point Never) is an elusive collection of shape-shifting instrumentals. Each piece is built around Duffy’s guitar, yet the timbre and mood tends to switch dramatically between tracks. The album’s run-time is fairly evenly split between dark, atmospheric pieces, such as “More Than Love” and “Making A Monument,” and hopeful, glimmering miniatures, such as “Centered Shell” and the wonderfully titled “In My Heaven All Faucets Are Fountains.” “Learning About Who You Are” looms large at the album’s heart, as nearly eight minutes of hazy, wind-tunnel drone pulses and reverberates across the stereo space. Despite the variation in tone, each track stakes out its own territory in the tracklist, and it’s only “Tumble” that comes across as an unrealized idea. While it’s only half an hour, yes/and feels longer, its circuitous routes opening up all kinds of possibilities.

Tim Clarke

[hlupdate]

A hand­shake can quell polit­i­cal unrest and sti­fle impend­ing war. It can, with a bit of spit, val­i­date a gentleman’s agree­ment, end a years-long roman­tic rela­tion­ship or send a young heart rac­ing. But it all depends on the two par­ties involved.

Daisy, 21, felt a seis­mic jolt when Har­ry Styles, 25, wear­ing a striped jumper and rings on three of his five fin­gers, clutched her hand two days after this year’s Met Gala in New York, when she served him gela­to at the shop where she worked.

“He decid­ed on a small mint choco­late gela­to and I made his and the one for his friend and I said, ​‘Can I just say I absolute­ly loved your Met Gala look’ and he said ​‘Thank you very much! What’s your name?’ And I said, ​‘Daisy’ AND HE FUCK­ING EXTEND­ED HISHAND AND REACHED TO SHAKE MY HAND AND I ACTU­AL­LY FUCK­INGSHOOK HIS HAND WHAT THE FUCK,” she wrote on Insta­gram after The Shak­en­ing. ​“Like I didn’t even say any­thing to gas him up besides ​‘I loved your met gala look’ and his fine ass went and shook my hand! WHAT A BEAU­TI­FUL FUCK­ING HUMAN BEINGTHAT HE IS GOD BLESS HIM AND I HOPE HW [sic] LIVES FOREVER.”

For Har­ry Styles, a hand­shake can be a roman­tic ges­ture, con­jur­ing a potent rev­er­ence in its recip­i­ent, like the time he met Gucci’s cre­ative direc­tor Alessan­dro Michele. ​“He was as attrac­tive as James Dean and as per­sua­sive as Gre­ta Gar­bo. He was like a Luchi­no Vis­con­ti char­ac­ter, like an Apol­lo: at the same time sexy as a woman, as a kid, as a man,” Michele told me, has­ten­ing to add: ​“Of course, Har­ry is not aware of this.”

No, Styles has no idea the pow­er he wields. In per­son, he’s tow­er­ing, like some­one who is not that much taller but whose rep­u­ta­tion adds four inch­es. Styles has a seda­tive bari­tone, spo­ken in a rum­my north­ern Eng­lish accent, that tum­bles out so slow­ly you for­get the name of your first born, a swag­ger that has been nursed and per­fect­ed in myth­i­cal places with names like Pais­ley Park, or Abbey Road, or Grace­land. Makes com­plete sense that he would be up for the role of Elvis Pres­ley in Baz Luhrmann’s upcom­ing biopic. He was primed, nay, born to shake his hips, all but one but­ton on his shirt cling­ing for dear life around his tor­so. Then the part was award­ed to anoth­er actor, Austin Butler.

“[Elvis] was such an icon for me grow­ing up,” Styles tells me. ​“There was some­thing almost sacred about him, almost like I didn’t want to touch him. Then I end­ed up get­ting into [his life] a bit and I wasn’t dis­ap­point­ed,” he adds of his ini­tial research and prepa­ra­tions to play The King. He seems relaxed about los­ing the part to But­ler. ​“I feel like if I’m not the right per­son for the thing, then it’s best for both of us that I don’t do it, you know?”

Styles released his self-titled debut solo album in May 2017. The boy­band grad was clear­ly unin­ter­est­ed in hol­low­ing out the charts with more for­mu­la­ic meme pop. Instead, to the sur­prise of many, he dug his heels into retro-fetishist West Coast ​’70s rock. Some of the One Direc­tion fan-hordes might have been con­fused, but no mat­ter: Har­ry Styles sold one mil­lion copies.

Despite its com­mer­cial and crit­i­cal suc­cess, he didn’t tour the album right away. He want­ed to act in the Christo­pher Nolan film Dunkirk. To his cred­it, his por­tray­al of a British sol­dier cow­er­ing in a moored boat on the French beach­es as the Nazis advanced wasn’t skew­ered in the press like the movie debuts of, say, Madon­na or Justin Tim­ber­lake. Per­haps he was fol­low­ing advice giv­en by Elton John, who had urged him to diver­si­fy. ​“He was bril­liant in Dunkirk, which took a lot of peo­ple by sur­prise,” John writes in an email. ​“I love how he takes chances and risks.” Act­ing, unlike music, is a release for Styles; it’s the one time he can be not himself.

“Why do I want to act? It’s so dif­fer­ent to music for me,” he says, sud­den­ly ani­mat­ed. ​“They’re almost oppo­site for me. Music, you try and put so much of your­self into it; act­ing, you’re try­ing to total­ly dis­ap­pear in who­ev­er you’re being.”

Fol­low­ing the news that he missed out on Pres­ley, his name was float­ed for the role of Prince Eric in Disney’s live-action remake of The Lit­tle Mer­maid. How­ev­er, fans will have to wait a bit longer to see Styles on the big screen as that idea, too, has sunk. He won’t be The King or the Prince. ​“It was dis­cussed,” he acknow­ledges before swift­ly chang­ing the sub­ject. ​“I want to put music out and focus on that for a while. But every­one involved in it was amaz­ing, so I think it’s going to be great. I’ll enjoy watch­ing it, I’m sure.”

The new album is wrapped and the sin­gle is decid­ed upon. ​“It’s not like his last album,” his friend, rock ​‘n’ roll leg­end Ste­vie Nicks, told me recent­ly over the phone. ​“It’s not like any­thing One Direc­tion ever did. It’s pure Har­ry, as Har­ry would say. He’s made a very dif­fer­ent record and it’s spectacular.”

Beyond that, Styles is keep­ing his cards close to his chest as to his next musi­cal move. How­ev­er, the air is thick with rumours that his main wing­man for HS2 is Kid Har­poon, aka Tom Hull, who co-wrote debut album track Sweet Crea­ture. No less an author­i­ty than Liam Gal­lagher told us that both big band escapees were in the same stu­dio – RAK in north-west Lon­don – at the same time mak­ing their sec­ond solo albums. Styles played him a cou­ple of tracks, ​“and I tell you what, they’re good,” Gal­lagher enthused. ​“A bit like that Bon Iver. Is that his name?”

Har­ry Styles met Nicks at a Fleet­wood Mac con­cert in Los Ange­les in April 2015. Some­thing about him felt authen­tic to the leg­endary front­woman: ground­ed, like she’d known him for­ev­er, blessed with a win­ning moon­shot grin. A month lat­er, they met back­stage at anoth­er Mac gig, this time at the O2 in Lon­don. Styles brought a car­rot cake for Nicks’ birth­day, her name piped in icing on top. By her own admis­sion, Nicks doesn’t even cel­e­brate birth­days, so this was a sur­prise. ​“He was per­son­al­ly respon­si­ble for me actu­al­ly hav­ing to cel­e­brate my birth­day, which was very sweet,” she says.

Styles’ rela­tion­ship with Nicks is hard to define. Induct­ing her into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in New York as a solo artist ear­li­er this year, his speech hymned her as a ​“mag­i­cal gyp­sy god­moth­er who occu­pies the in-between”. She’s called him her ​“lovechild” with Mick Fleet­wood and the ​“son I nev­er had”. Both have moved past the pre­lim­i­nary chat acknowl­edg­ing each other’s unquan­tifi­able tal­ents and smooth­ly accel­er­at­ed towards play­ful cut-and-thrust ban­ter of a witch mom and her naughty child.

They per­form togeth­er – he sings The Chainand Stop Drag­gin’ My Heart Around; she sings the one alleged­ly writ­ten about Tay­lor Swift, Two Ghosts. One of those per­for­mances was at the Guc­ci Cruise after­par­ty in Rome in May, for ​“a lot of mon­ey”, Nicks tells me, in a ​“big kind of cas­tle place”. She has become his de fac­to men­tor – one phone call is all it takes to reach the Queen of Rock’n’Roll for advice on sequenc­ing (“She is real­ly good at track list­ing,” Styles admits) or just to hear each other’s voic­es… because, well, wouldn’t you?

Fol­low­ing anoth­er Fleet­wood Mac con­cert, at London’s Wem­b­ley Sta­di­um, in June, Nicks met Styles for a late (Indi­an) din­ner. He then invit­ed her back to his semi-detached Geor­gian man­sion in north Lon­don for a lis­ten­ing par­ty at mid­night. The album – HS2or what­ev­er it’ll be called – was fin­ished. Nicks, her assis­tant Karen, her make-up artist and her friends Jess and Mary crammed onto Styles’ liv­ing-room couch. They lis­tened to it once through in silence like a ​“bunch of edu­cat­ed monks or some­thing in this dark room”. Then once again, 15 or 16 tracks, this time each of his guests offer­ing live feed­back. It wrapped at 5am, just as the sun was bleed­ing through the curtains.

Even for a pop star of Styles’ stature, press­ing ​“play” on a deeply per­son­al work for your hero to digest, watch­ing her face react in real time to your new music, must be… what?

“It’s a dou­ble-edged thing,” he replies. ​“You’re always ner­vous when you are play­ing peo­ple music for the first time. You’ve heard it so much by this point, you for­get that peo­ple haven’t heard it before. It’s hard to not feel like you’ve done what you’ve set out to do. You are hap­py with some­thing and then some­one who you respect so much and look up to is, like: ​‘I real­ly like this.’ It feels like a large stamp [of approval]. It’s a big step towards feel­ing very com­fort­able with what­ev­er else hap­pens to it.”

Wad­ing through Styles’ back­ground info is exhaust­ing, since he was spanked by fame in the social media era where every god­dam blink of a kohl-rimmed eye has been doc­u­ment­ed from six angles. (And yes, he does some­times wear guyliner.)

Deep breath: born in Red­ditch, Worces­ter­shire, to par­ents Des and Anne, who divorced when he was sev­en. Grew up in Holmes Chapel in Cheshire with his sis­ter Gem­ma, mum and step­dad Robin Twist. Rode hors­es at a near­by sta­ble for free (“I was a bad rid­er, but I was a rid­er”). Stopped rid­ing, ​“got into dif­fer­ent stuff”. Formed a band, White Eski­mo, with school­mates. Aged 16, tried out for the 2010 run of The X Fac­torwith a stir­ring but aver­age ren­di­tion of Ste­vie Wonder’s Isn’t She Love­ly. Cut from the show and put into a boy band with four oth­ers, Louis Tom­lin­son, Liam Payne, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik, and called One Direc­tion. Became inter­na­tion­al­ly famous, toured the globe. Zayn quit to go solo. Toured some more. Dat­ed but maybe didn’t date Car­o­line Flack, Rita Ora and Tay­lor Swift – whom he report­ed­ly dumped in the British Vir­gin Islands. (This rela­tion­ship, if noth­ing else, yield­ed an icon­ic, can­did shot of Swift look­ing deject­ed, being motored back to shore on the back of a boat called the Fly­ing Ray.) One Direc­tion dis­cussed dis­band­ing in 2014, actu­al­ly dis­solved in 2015. They remain friend­ly, and Styles offi­cial­ly went solo in 2016.

It’s been two years since his epony­mous debut and lead sin­gle, Sign of the Times, shocked the world and Elton John with its swag­ger­ing, soft rock sound. ​“It came out of left field and I loved it,” John says.

After 89 are­na-packed shows across five con­ti­nents grossed him, the label, whomev­er, over $61 mil­lion, Styles had all but dis­ap­peared. He has emerged only inter­mit­tent­ly for pub­lic-fac­ing events – a Guc­ci after­par­ty per­for­mance here, a Met Gala co-chair­ing there. He relo­cat­ed from Los Ange­les back to Lon­don, sell­ing his Hol­ly­wood Hills house for $6mil­lion and ship­ping his Jaguar E-type across the Atlantic so he could take joyrides on the M25.

“I’m not over LA,” he insists when I ask about the move. ​“My rela­tion­ship with LAchanged a lot. What I want­ed from LA changed.”

A great escape, he would agree, is some­times nec­es­sary. He was in Tokyo for most of Jan­u­ary, hav­ing near­ly fin­ished his album. ​“I need­ed time to get out of that album frame-of-mind of: ​‘Is it fin­ished? Where am I at? What’s hap­pen­ing?’ I real­ly need­ed that time away from every­one. I was kind of just in Tokyo by myself.” His sab­bat­i­cal most­ly involved read­ing Haru­ki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chron­i­cle, singing Nir­vana at karaoke, writ­ing alone in his hotel room, lis­ten­ing to music and eaves­drop­ping on strangers in alien con­ver­sa­tion. ​“It was just a pos­i­tive time for my head and I think that impact­ed the album in a big way.”

Dur­ing this break he watched a lot of films, read a lot of books. Some­times he texts these rec­om­men­da­tions to his pal Michele at Guc­ci. He told Michele to watch the Ali Mac­graw film, Love Sto­ry. ​“We text what friends text about. He is the same [as me] in terms of he lives in his own world and he does his own thing. I love dress­ing up and he loves dress­ing up.”

Because he loves dress­ing up, Michele chose Styles to be the face of three Guc­ci Tai­lor­ing cam­paigns and of its new gen­der­less fra­grance, Mémoire d’une Odeur.

“The moment I met him, I imme­di­ate­ly under­stood there was some­thing strong around him,” Michele tells me. ​“I realised he was much more than a young singer. He was a young man, dressed in a thought­ful way, with uncombed hair and a beau­ti­ful voice. I thought he gath­ered with­in him­self the fem­i­nine and the masculine.”

Fash­ion, for Styles, is a play­ground. Some­thing he doesn’t take too seri­ous­ly. A cou­ple of years ago Har­ry Lam­bert, his styl­ist since 2015, acquired for him a pair of pink metal­lic Saint Lau­rent boots that he has nev­er been pho­tographed wear­ing. They are exceed­ing­ly rare – few pairs exist. Styles wears them ​“to get milk”. They are, in his words, ​“super-fun”. He’s not sure, but he has, ball­park, 50 pairs of shoes, as well as full clos­ets in at least three post­codes. He set­tles on an out­fit fair­ly quick­ly, maybe changes his T-shirt once before head­ing out, but most­ly knows what he likes.

What he may not ful­ly com­pre­hend is that sim­ply by being pho­tographed in a gar­ment he can spur the career of a design­er, as he has with Har­ris Reed, Palo­mo Spain, Charles Jef­frey, Alled-Martínez and a new favourite, Bode. Styles wore a SS16 Guc­ci flo­ral suit to the 2015 Amer­i­can Music Awards. When he was asked who made his suit on the red car­pet, Guc­ci began trend­ing world­wide on Twitter.

“It was one of the first times a male wore Alessandro’s run­way designs and, at the time, men were not tak­ing too many red car­pet risks,” says Lam­bert. ​“Who knows if it influ­enced oth­ers, but it was a spe­cial moment. Plus, it was fun see­ing the fans dress up in suits to come see Harry’s shows.”

Yet tra­di­tion­al gen­der codes of dress still have the minds of mid­dle Amer­i­ca in a choke­hold. Men can’t wear women’s clothes, say the online whingers, who have labelled him ​“trag­ic”, ​“a clown” and a Bowie wannabe. Styles doesn’t care. ​“What’s fem­i­nine and what’s mas­cu­line, what men are wear­ing and what women are wear­ing – it’s like there are no lines any more.”

Elton John agrees: ​“It worked for Marc Bolan, Bowie and Mick. Har­ry has the same qualities.”

Then there is the ques­tion of Styles’ sex­u­al­i­ty, some­thing he has admit­ted­ly ​“nev­er real­ly start­ed to label”, which will plague him until he does. Per­haps it’s part of his allure. He’s bran­dished a pride flag that read ​“Make Amer­i­ca Gay Again” on stage, and plant­ed a stake some­where left of cen­tre on sexuality’s rain­bow spectrum.

“In the posi­tion that he’s in, he can’t real­ly say a lot, but he chose a queer girl band to open for him and I think that speaks vol­umes,” Josette Maskin of the queer band MUNA told The Face ear­li­er this year.

“I get a lot of…” Styles trails off, wheels turn­ing on how he can dis­cuss sex­u­al­i­ty with­out real­ly answer­ing. ​“I’m not always super-out­spo­ken. But I think it’s very clear from choic­es that I make that I feel a cer­tain way about lots of things. I don’t know how to describe it. I guess I’m not…” He paus­es again, piv­ots. ​“I want every­one to feel wel­come at shows and online. They want to be loved and equal, you know? I’m nev­er unsup­port­ed, so it feels weird for me to over­think it for some­one else.”

Sex­u­al­i­ty aside, he must acknowl­edge that he has sex appeal. ​“The word ​‘sexy’ sounds so strange com­ing out of my mouth. So I would say that that’s prob­a­bly why I would not con­sid­er myself sexy.”

Har­ry Styles has emerged ful­ly-formed, an anachro­nis­tic rock star, vague in sen­si­bil­i­ty but des­tined to impress with a dis­arm­ing smile and a warm but firm handshake.

I recite to him a quote from Chrissie Hyn­de of The Pre­tenders about her time atop rock’s throne: ​“I nev­er got into this for the mon­ey or because I want­ed to join in the super­star sex around the swim­ming pools. I did it because the offer of a record con­tract came along and it seemed like it might be more fun than being a wait­ress. Now, I’m not so sure.”

Styles – who worked in a bak­ery in a small north­ern town some time before play­ing to 40,000 scream­ing fans in South Amer­i­can are­nas – must have wit­nessed some shit, been invit­ed to a few pool­side sex par­ties, in his time.

“I’ve seen a cou­ple of things,” he nods in agree­ment. ​“But I’m still young. I feel like there’s still stuff to see.”

[stylesnews]

The Face - Volume 4 . Issue 1

A hand­shake can quell polit­i­cal unrest and sti­fle impend­ing war. It can, with a bit of spit, val­i­date a gentleman’s agree­ment, end a years-long roman­tic rela­tion­ship or send a young heart rac­ing. But it all depends on the two par­ties involved.

Daisy, 21, felt a seis­mic jolt when Har­ry Styles, 25, wear­ing a striped jumper and rings on three of his five fin­gers, clutched her hand two days after this year’s Met Gala in New York, when she served him gela­to at the shop where she worked.

“He decid­ed on a small mint choco­late gela­to and I made his and the one for his friend and I said, ​‘Can I just say I absolute­ly loved your Met Gala look’ and he said ​‘Thank you very much! What’s your name?’ And I said, ​‘Daisy’ AND HE FUCK­ING EXTEND­ED HIS HAND AND REACHEDTO SHAKE MY HAND AND I ACTU­AL­LY FUCK­ING SHOOK HIS HAND WHAT THEFUCK,” she wrote on Insta­gram after The Shak­en­ing. ​“Like I didn’t even say any­thing to gas him up besides ​‘I loved your met gala look’ and his fine ass went and shook my hand! WHATA BEAU­TI­FUL FUCK­ING HUMAN BEING THAT HE IS GOD BLESS HIM AND I HOPE HW[sic] LIVES FOREVER.”

For Har­ry Styles, a hand­shake can be a roman­tic ges­ture, con­jur­ing a potent rev­er­ence in its recip­i­ent, like the time he met Gucci’s cre­ative direc­tor Alessan­dro Michele. ​“He was as attrac­tive as James Dean and as per­sua­sive as Gre­ta Gar­bo. He was like a Luchi­no Vis­con­ti char­ac­ter, like an Apol­lo: at the same time sexy as a woman, as a kid, as a man,” Michele told me, has­ten­ing to add: ​“Of course, Har­ry is not aware of this.”

No, Styles has no idea the pow­er he wields. In per­son, he’s tow­er­ing, like some­one who is not that much taller but whose rep­u­ta­tion adds four inch­es. Styles has a seda­tive bari­tone, spo­ken in a rum­my north­ern Eng­lish accent, that tum­bles out so slow­ly you for­get the name of your first born, a swag­ger that has been nursed and per­fect­ed in myth­i­cal places with names like Pais­ley Park, or Abbey Road, or Grace­land. Makes com­plete sense that he would be up for the role of Elvis Pres­ley in Baz Luhrmann’s upcom­ing biopic. He was primed, nay, born to shake his hips, all but one but­ton on his shirt cling­ing for dear life around his tor­so. Then the part was award­ed to anoth­er actor, Austin Butler.

“[Elvis] was such an icon for me grow­ing up,” Styles tells me. ​“There was some­thing almost sacred about him, almost like I didn’t want to touch him. Then I end­ed up get­ting into [his life] a bit and I wasn’t dis­ap­point­ed,” he adds of his ini­tial research and prepa­ra­tions to play The King. He seems relaxed about los­ing the part to But­ler. ​“I feel like if I’m not the right per­son for the thing, then it’s best for both of us that I don’t do it, you know?”

Styles released his self-titled debut solo album in May 2017. The boy­band grad was clear­ly unin­ter­est­ed in hol­low­ing out the charts with more for­mu­la­ic meme pop. Instead, to the sur­prise of many, he dug his heels into retro-fetishist West Coast ​’70s rock. Some of the One Direc­tion fan-hordes might have been con­fused, but no mat­ter: Har­ry Styles sold one mil­lion copies.

Despite its com­mer­cial and crit­i­cal suc­cess, he didn’t tour the album right away. He want­ed to act in the Christo­pher Nolan film Dunkirk. To his cred­it, his por­tray­al of a British sol­dier cow­er­ing in a moored boat on the French beach­es as the Nazis advanced wasn’t skew­ered in the press like the movie debuts of, say, Madon­na or Justin Tim­ber­lake. Per­haps he was fol­low­ing advice giv­en by Elton John, who had urged him to diver­si­fy. ​“He was bril­liant in Dunkirk, which took a lot of peo­ple by sur­prise,” John writes in an email. ​“I love how he takes chances and risks.” Act­ing, unlike music, is a release for Styles; it’s the one time he can be not himself.

“Why do I want to act? It’s so dif­fer­ent to music for me,” he says, sud­den­ly ani­mat­ed. ​“They’re almost oppo­site for me. Music, you try and put so much of your­self into it; act­ing, you’re try­ing to total­ly dis­ap­pear in who­ev­er you’re being.”

Fol­low­ing the news that he missed out on Pres­ley, his name was float­ed for the role of Prince Eric in Disney’s live-action remake of The Lit­tle Mer­maid. How­ev­er, fans will have to wait a bit longer to see Styles on the big screen as that idea, too, has sunk. He won’t be The King or the Prince. ​“It was dis­cussed,” he acknow­ledges before swift­ly chang­ing the sub­ject. ​“I want to put music out and focus on that for a while. But every­one involved in it was amaz­ing, so I think it’s going to be great. I’ll enjoy watch­ing it, I’m sure.”

The new album is wrapped and the sin­gle is decid­ed upon. ​“It’s not like his last album,” his friend, rock ​‘n’ roll leg­end Ste­vie Nicks, told me recent­ly over the phone. ​“It’s not like any­thing One Direc­tion ever did. It’s pure Har­ry, as Har­ry would say. He’s made a very dif­fer­ent record and it’s spectacular.”

Beyond that, Styles is keep­ing his cards close to his chest as to his next musi­cal move. How­ev­er, the air is thick with rumours that his main wing­man for HS2 is Kid Har­poon, aka Tom Hull, who co-wrote debut album track Sweet Crea­ture. No less an author­i­ty than Liam Gal­lagher told us that both big band escapees were in the same stu­dio – RAK in north-west Lon­don – at the same time mak­ing their sec­ond solo albums. Styles played him a cou­ple of tracks, ​“and I tell you what, they’re good,” Gal­lagher enthused. ​“A bit like that Bon Iver. Is that his name?”

Har­ry Styles met Nicks at a Fleet­wood Mac con­cert in Los Ange­les in April 2015. Some­thing about him felt authen­tic to the leg­endary front­woman: ground­ed, like she’d known him for­ev­er, blessed with a win­ning moon­shot grin. A month lat­er, they met back­stage at anoth­er Mac gig, this time at the O2 in Lon­don. Styles brought a car­rot cake for Nicks’ birth­day, her name piped in icing on top. By her own admis­sion, Nicks doesn’t even cel­e­brate birth­days, so this was a sur­prise. ​“He was per­son­al­ly respon­si­ble for me actu­al­ly hav­ing to cel­e­brate my birth­day, which was very sweet,” she says.

Styles’ rela­tion­ship with Nicks is hard to define. Induct­ing her into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in New York as a solo artist ear­li­er this year, his speech hymned her as a ​“mag­i­cal gyp­sy god­moth­er who occu­pies the in-between”. She’s called him her ​“lovechild” with Mick Fleet­wood and the ​“son I nev­er had”. Both have moved past the pre­lim­i­nary chat acknowl­edg­ing each other’s unquan­tifi­able tal­ents and smooth­ly accel­er­at­ed towards play­ful cut-and-thrust ban­ter of a witch mom and her naughty child.

They per­form togeth­er – he sings The Chain and Stop Drag­gin’ My Heart Around; she sings the one alleged­ly writ­ten about Tay­lor Swift, Two Ghosts. One of those per­for­mances was at the Guc­ci Cruise after­par­ty in Rome in May, for ​“a lot of mon­ey”, Nicks tells me, in a ​“big kind of cas­tle place”. She has become his de fac­to men­tor – one phone call is all it takes to reach the Queen of Rock’n’Roll for advice on sequenc­ing (“She is real­ly good at track list­ing,” Styles admits) or just to hear each other’s voic­es… because, well, wouldn’t you?

Fol­low­ing anoth­er Fleet­wood Mac con­cert, at London’s Wem­b­ley Sta­di­um, in June, Nicks met Styles for a late (Indi­an) din­ner. He then invit­ed her back to his semi-detached Geor­gian man­sion in north Lon­don for a lis­ten­ing par­ty at mid­night. The album – HS2or what­ev­er it’ll be called – was fin­ished. Nicks, her assis­tant Karen, her make-up artist and her friends Jess and Mary crammed onto Styles’ liv­ing-room couch. They lis­tened to it once through in silence like a ​“bunch of edu­cat­ed monks or some­thing in this dark room”. Then once again, 15 or 16 tracks, this time each of his guests offer­ing live feed­back. It wrapped at 5am, just as the sun was bleed­ing through the curtains.

Even for a pop star of Styles’ stature, press­ing ​“play” on a deeply per­son­al work for your hero to digest, watch­ing her face react in real time to your new music, must be… what?

“It’s a dou­ble-edged thing,” he replies. ​“You’re always ner­vous when you are play­ing peo­ple music for the first time. You’ve heard it so much by this point, you for­get that peo­ple haven’t heard it before. It’s hard to not feel like you’ve done what you’ve set out to do. You are hap­py with some­thing and then some­one who you respect so much and look up to is, like: ​‘I real­ly like this.’ It feels like a large stamp [of approval]. It’s a big step towards feel­ing very com­fort­able with what­ev­er else hap­pens to it.”

Wad­ing through Styles’ back­ground info is exhaust­ing, since he was spanked by fame in the social media era where every god­dam blink of a kohl-rimmed eye has been doc­u­ment­ed from six angles. (And yes, he does some­times wear guyliner.)

Deep breath: born in Red­ditch, Worces­ter­shire, to par­ents Des and Anne, who divorced when he was sev­en. Grew up in Holmes Chapel in Cheshire with his sis­ter Gem­ma, mum and step­dad Robin Twist. Rode hors­es at a near­by sta­ble for free (“I was a bad rid­er, but I was a rid­er”). Stopped rid­ing, ​“got into dif­fer­ent stuff”. Formed a band, White Eski­mo, with school­mates. Aged 16, tried out for the 2010 run of The X Fac­torwith a stir­ring but aver­age ren­di­tion of Ste­vie Wonder’s Isn’t She Love­ly. Cut from the show and put into a boy band with four oth­ers, Louis Tom­lin­son, Liam Payne, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik, and called One Direc­tion. Became inter­na­tion­al­ly famous, toured the globe. Zayn quit to go solo. Toured some more. Dat­ed but maybe didn’t date Car­o­line Flack, Rita Ora and Tay­lor Swift – whom he report­ed­ly dumped in the British Vir­gin Islands. (This rela­tion­ship, if noth­ing else, yield­ed an icon­ic, can­did shot of Swift look­ing deject­ed, being motored back to shore on the back of a boat called the Fly­ing Ray.) One Direc­tion dis­cussed dis­band­ing in 2014, actu­al­ly dis­solved in 2015. They remain friend­ly, and Styles offi­cial­ly went solo in 2016.

It’s been two years since his epony­mous debut and lead sin­gle, Sign of the Times, shocked the world and Elton John with its swag­ger­ing, soft rock sound. ​“It came out of left field and I loved it,” John says.

After 89 are­na-packed shows across five con­ti­nents grossed him, the label, whomev­er, over $61mil­lion, Styles had all but dis­ap­peared. He has emerged only inter­mit­tent­ly for pub­lic-fac­ing events – a Guc­ci after­par­ty per­for­mance here, a Met Gala co-chair­ing there. He relo­cat­ed from Los Ange­les back to Lon­don, sell­ing his Hol­ly­wood Hills house for $6 mil­lion and ship­ping his Jaguar E-type across the Atlantic so he could take joyrides on the M25.

“I’m not over LA,” he insists when I ask about the move. ​“My rela­tion­ship with LA changed a lot. What I want­ed from LA changed.”

A great escape, he would agree, is some­times nec­es­sary. He was in Tokyo for most of Jan­u­ary, hav­ing near­ly fin­ished his album. ​“I need­ed time to get out of that album frame-of-mind of: ​‘Is it fin­ished? Where am I at? What’s hap­pen­ing?’ I real­ly need­ed that time away from every­one. I was kind of just in Tokyo by myself.” His sab­bat­i­cal most­ly involved read­ing Haru­ki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chron­i­cle, singing Nir­vana at karaoke, writ­ing alone in his hotel room, lis­ten­ing to music and eaves­drop­ping on strangers in alien con­ver­sa­tion. ​“It was just a pos­i­tive time for my head and I think that impact­ed the album in a big way.”

Dur­ing this break he watched a lot of films, read a lot of books. Some­times he texts these rec­om­men­da­tions to his pal Michele at Guc­ci. He told Michele to watch the Ali Mac­graw film, Love Sto­ry. ​“We text what friends text about. He is the same [as me] in terms of he lives in his own world and he does his own thing. I love dress­ing up and he loves dress­ing up.”

Because he loves dress­ing up, Michele chose Styles to be the face of three Guc­ci Tai­lor­ing cam­paigns and of its new gen­der­less fra­grance, Mémoire d’une Odeur.

“The moment I met him, I imme­di­ate­ly under­stood there was some­thing strong around him,” Michele tells me. ​“I realised he was much more than a young singer. He was a young man, dressed in a thought­ful way, with uncombed hair and a beau­ti­ful voice. I thought he gath­ered with­in him­self the fem­i­nine and the masculine.”

Fash­ion, for Styles, is a play­ground. Some­thing he doesn’t take too seri­ous­ly. A cou­ple of years ago Har­ry Lam­bert, his styl­ist since 2015, acquired for him a pair of pink metal­lic Saint Lau­rent boots that he has nev­er been pho­tographed wear­ing. They are exceed­ing­ly rare – few pairs exist. Styles wears them ​“to get milk”. They are, in his words, ​“super-fun”. He’s not sure, but he has, ball­park, 50 pairs of shoes, as well as full clos­ets in at least three post­codes. He set­tles on an out­fit fair­ly quick­ly, maybe changes his T-shirt once before head­ing out, but most­ly knows what he likes.

What he may not ful­ly com­pre­hend is that sim­ply by being pho­tographed in a gar­ment he can spur the career of a design­er, as he has with Har­ris Reed, Palo­mo Spain, Charles Jef­frey, Alled-Martínez and a new favourite, Bode. Styles wore a SS16 Guc­ci flo­ral suit to the 2015 Amer­i­can Music Awards. When he was asked who made his suit on the red car­pet, Guc­ci began trend­ing world­wide on Twitter.

“It was one of the first times a male wore Alessandro’s run­way designs and, at the time, men were not tak­ing too many red car­pet risks,” says Lam­bert. ​“Who knows if it influ­enced oth­ers, but it was a spe­cial moment. Plus, it was fun see­ing the fans dress up in suits to come see Harry’s shows.”

Yet tra­di­tion­al gen­der codes of dress still have the minds of mid­dle Amer­i­ca in a choke­hold. Men can’t wear women’s clothes, say the online whingers, who have labelled him ​“trag­ic”, ​“a clown” and a Bowie wannabe. Styles doesn’t care. ​“What’s fem­i­nine and what’s mas­cu­line, what men are wear­ing and what women are wear­ing – it’s like there are no lines any more.”

Elton John agrees: ​“It worked for Marc Bolan, Bowie and Mick. Har­ry has the same qualities.”

Then there is the ques­tion of Styles’ sex­u­al­i­ty, some­thing he has admit­ted­ly ​“nev­er real­ly start­ed to label”, which will plague him until he does. Per­haps it’s part of his allure. He’s bran­dished a pride flag that read ​“Make Amer­i­ca Gay Again” on stage, and plant­ed a stake some­where left of cen­tre on sexuality’s rain­bow spectrum.

“In the posi­tion that he’s in, he can’t real­ly say a lot, but he chose a queer girl band to open for him and I think that speaks vol­umes,” Josette Maskin of the queer band MUNA told The Face ear­li­er this year.

“I get a lot of…” Styles trails off, wheels turn­ing on how he can dis­cuss sex­u­al­i­ty with­out real­ly answer­ing. ​“I’m not always super-out­spo­ken. But I think it’s very clear from choic­es that I make that I feel a cer­tain way about lots of things. I don’t know how to describe it. I guess I’m not…” He paus­es again, piv­ots. ​“I want every­one to feel wel­come at shows and online. They want to be loved and equal, you know? I’m nev­er unsup­port­ed, so it feels weird for me to over­think it for some­one else.”

Sex­u­al­i­ty aside, he must acknowl­edge that he has sex appeal. ​“The word ​‘sexy’ sounds so strange com­ing out of my mouth. So I would say that that’s prob­a­bly why I would not con­sid­er myself sexy.”

Har­ry Styles has emerged ful­ly-formed, an anachro­nis­tic rock star, vague in sen­si­bil­i­ty but des­tined to impress with a dis­arm­ing smile and a warm but firm handshake.

I recite to him a quote from Chrissie Hyn­de of The Pre­tenders about her time atop rock’s throne: ​“I nev­er got into this for the mon­ey or because I want­ed to join in the super­star sex around the swim­ming pools. I did it because the offer of a record con­tract came along and it seemed like it might be more fun than being a wait­ress. Now, I’m not so sure.”

Styles – who worked in a bak­ery in a small north­ern town some time before play­ing to 40,000scream­ing fans in South Amer­i­can are­nas – must have wit­nessed some shit, been invit­ed to a few pool­side sex par­ties, in his time.

“I’ve seen a cou­ple of things,” he nods in agree­ment. ​“But I’m still young. I feel like there’s still stuff to see.”

[elareine]

In the shallows

Chapters: 1/6 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, some swearing Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd Characters: Tim Drake, Donna Troy Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, NO CAPES, Identity Porn, Romantic Comedy, Drama & Romance, Texting, Online Dating AO3: /18803473

Summary: Jason Todd is a rock star... and an asshole. Dick Grayson has to do a movie with him. Luckily, there's this cute guy he's started texting recently.

Jason Todd was a rock star.

Yeah, exactly. Now, Dick had worked with some… less than talented people on set before. He’d made his debut in dance movies, for God’s sake, of course not everyone had been ready to play Hamlet.

But a total newbie? Never been on stage or on a movie set before? Dick really wished the producers had consulted him about that before making the decision. They hadn’t even done a chemistry test.  

Okay, sure, it was a blockbuster movie about an interracial gay couple. Funding wouldn’t come easy. If the names ‘Richard Grayson’ and ‘Jason Todd’ had to be attached to make the money happen, they would be. And Dick knew Tim Drake, the executive producer, well enough to trust him with this. Tim wouldn’t have cast Jason if he thought it’d be a total shit show.

The thing was - the script was beautiful. The writers had really poured their hearts into it, and it showed. Dick had almost forgotten to read it from an actor’s perspective, he’d been so engrossed. By the end, blinking away tears, he had texted his agent that he would do it before going on a run to shake some of the heaviness away.

It wasn’t like there was a sad ending, exactly. Dick wouldn’t have taken anything with a ‘bury your gays’ feel to it. It was just… it made him feel a lot, this script.

He wanted to do it justice. Hopefully, Jason Todd wouldn’t be the one to drag them all down.

Dick sighed and looked at the script in front of him again. Specifically, at the part marked: ‘Vano: [singing]…’

The other worry he had was quite the opposite from his first. At least Jason Todd didn’t have to worry about singing. Dick had heard his songs as much as anyone could without actively seeking them out, which was to say all the time and everywhere. Jason had been around for years at this point; it didn’t seem likely that his popularity would be abating any time soon.

(When he wasn’t busy critiquing Jason’s casting, Dick could freely admit that his songs were pretty great. They always gave him that on-the-road-looking-for-freedom feeling that he loved. He might be following Jason on Spotify, even, but shush.)

Dick, however… well. He’d been taking singing lessons ever since he’d moved into closer consideration for this role. His vocal coach attested him with enough skills for the songs he’d seen so far. He’d gotten the accent of his character down to pat, too, even when singing and screaming. Still, compared to Jason Todd…

And they would be singing duets.

Giving up on his concentration for the evening, Dick decided to just go for a run. He was already pretty sure he wouldn’t sleep tonight, but exhaustion might help.

It didn’t really. Dick slept like shit and then had to deal with the worst traffic he’d ever seen (and he’d lived in New York for years). He barely made it in time. Tim was already waiting for him outside the lot. That was a sure sign he was getting ready to herd Dick exactly where he needed to be as quickly as possible.

Tim greeted him with a friendly wave. “Hi, Dick, welcome on set! Kate is over at the sound studio, but she’ll be here any minute to start the read-through.”

“Thanks, Tim. Good to see you.” Dick refrained from hugging him only because he knew the younger man preferred it that way on set. “Sorry, I wanted to be here early. I seriously underestimated LA traffic.”

“Yes, I expected that. Just plan in enough time from now on, okay?”

“Of course, Tim.”

Tim sighed. “We’ll see, I guess.”

They entered the building together. Tim guided him towards a smaller meeting room. Jason Todd was already there, sitting in the small circle of chairs. There would be a full cast reading tomorrow; today it was pretty much only Kate, Jason and Dick with the producers.

Dick’s first thought was that he hadn’t expected Jason to look so… soft. He was used to the torn jeans and t-shirt look he rocked in his videos. The knitted sweater he was wearing didn’t exactly fit that image.

The smirk on his face, however, did.

Dick mentally steeled himself. Here we go. He held out his hand. “Hi, Jason. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Hi, Dick.” Jason’s handshake was firm without being too crushing. “Sorry we couldn’t meet up before. I’m pretty literally just coming back from a World Tour.”

Oh, great. Bragging.

“No worries. It’s good to get this started now.” He looked pointedly at the script in Jason’s hand. If Jason had just been on a world tour… “Did you get any time to prepare?”

“I’ll know my lines if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“It’s kind of about more than that.” Okay, that came out catty. “Like, the music, for example.”

Jason seemed to perk up at that. “Oh, yeah, that’s done. I did send the tapes of some suggestions to Kate. But we’ll workshop together, see what you think first.”

Dick would’ve preferred it if Jason had just presented him with finished sheet music and a tape he could imitate, honestly. He had no idea if he had any musical input to offer. And how did you workshop music, anyway? He’d done that with scenes before (though Kate wasn’t the type to welcome a lot of input from her actors beforehand), even settings, but music?

“Sure. Yeah. Let’s do that.” He tried to smile. “I’m looking forward to hearing what you came up with.”  

It was probably a good thing Kate entered the room at that moment, introducing herself again and bidding them to start the read-through.

Dick usually lost himself in a performance pretty easily. Even in a read-through, it only meant that he focused even more on letting every emotion shine through his voice.

Vano was pretty unlike Dick himself. Sensitive, shy, in desperate need of approval (okay, that one Dick could relate to) and unsure. Dick found it interesting how his character was juxtaposed with his actions. Vano was so, so afraid; yet he let himself be swept up in a whirlwind romance and even ended up the one pursuing Jason’s character when everything seemed to fall apart. His courage, in the end, was as quiet as it was present. Dick was determined to do him right.

So he concentrated on developing his voice further. He wanted it to be recognisably different from Jason’s character, but also harmonious.

Still, he couldn’t help but judge Jason’s performance.

He wasn’t bad. Honestly, this wasn’t a great script for a read-through - a lot of stuff went unsaid between the two main characters. So a little wooden-ness was expected. Dick was a bit annoyed at the way he stumbled over lines sometimes as if he was reading them for the first time, though. Unprepared partners were the worst.

Afterwards, Kate didn’t look happy. Her first critique was voluminous, including more background notes on their characters and a very detailed rundown of what had sucked about their dialogue. Ah, well. Dick didn’t mind. She wasn’t known to be a coddler.

She complimented Dick on his excellent accent, though. He thought Jason (who spoke in his own accent, or at least the one he always used in interviews and stuff) looked a bit sour at that, which pissed Dick off. He’d worked hard for this, okay. He was actually a trained and studied actor, despite what some people might think.

It also made him wary of the months ahead. Jealousy on set wasn’t cool, even if it was purely professional.

“Tomorrow we’ll go through the script scene by scene and talk through your suggestions. Is there anything fundamental you’d like to say now?” Kate asked.

Dick shook his head. This was honestly one of the best scripts he’d ever read, and he trusted her direction fully. Jason seemed to hesitate, but then he followed suit.  

Dick spent some time after talking with some of the crew members that were setting up the sets. He knew some of them from previous movie sets - Tim liked to reward good work with more, better-paid work - and was glad to chit-chat about their careers and families.

Still, Jason seemed to take his time, too. They arrived at the parking lot at about the same time.

“Can I give you a ride?” Dick offered when he noted that Jason was looking a bit lost.

“I’m actually here on my bike,” Jason said, pointing at a frankly gorgeous machine, black, sleek and utterly pretentious.

Dick mentally snorted. Of course he was. Rock star and all that

His own family sized van didn’t match up to that, but honestly, who cared.

“Okay. See you tomorrow, then.”

Jason didn’t even say goodbye, just waved. Dick was tired of him already.

When he entered the house he’d rented for the year, Dick headed straight for his studio and dropped down onto the mat. He needed a proper stretching after today and couldn’t quite face this house yet.

Mostly he was happy with it. It was spacious, including his own dance studio and a pool, and not too far away from the Wayne Brothers lot, but he was able to keep it up without no personnel beyond a cleaner and the occasional garden hand.

Days like these, it was a bit… lonely.

He would have been better off staying with his friend Donna Troy. She’d offered, after all. Dick had thought he would need some quiet to focus on this part, not to mention a room where he could practice his singing parts without annoying the shit out of everyone.

It was just that he wasn’t made for the quiet. His head got too loud when he wasn’t exercising. Usually, he filled that space by concentrating on his current role; he wasn’t precisely method but slipping into someone else’s headspace had always come easy to him. Today, though, that was exactly what he wanted to get away from.

He briefly toyed with the idea of going out and picking someone up. Getting laid worked better than pretty much anything else for him.

Except that wasn’t exactly what he wanted, either.  

Look. It wasn’t as if Dick had problems meeting people. The opposite, really. Dick knew he had a good body, okay, and he was charming enough.

He wanted something else, though. He wanted to get to know someone without them already knowing (or thinking they knew) everything about him. He wanted to be sure someone actually liked him for himself. He wanted someone to call in the evenings when he came home from set. Someone to come home to.

Dick sighed and re-arranged his limbs into a backstretch.

People wished for this kind of things all the time. He was just being silly. His mother would’ve straight up laughed at him if he went to her complaining about the drawbacks of fame, a profession he loved and obscene amounts of money.

Dropping his hips open and leaning into that delicious burn, he took out his phone and texted Donna: Going out and getting laid, yes or no? Any bar tips?

The answer was immediate.

Donna: Honey just use tinder like the rest of us

 …Why not.

 Donna: That was a joke.

 Donna: But go ahead I guess.

Thinking about it, Dick finished his routine and headed upstairs to change into some comfy sweats, then back down to the kitchen. A bowl of cereal wasn’t exactly a glamorous meal for a movie star - but neither were Dick’s cooking skills.

Grabbing a beer, he plopped down on his couch and gave in. At least the tinder app was free on the app store. Going through the set-up motions, he hit the next snag, though.

What do I use as a profile picture??? I can’t show my face on this, can I?

Donna: Use your abs

Donna: no wait

Donna: Your butt

Donna: Or maybe that’s too recognisable. Abs it is.

Dick chuckled.

  …Thanks I think.

For a second he considered just cutting something out of a promo pic or one of his dozens of semi-nude photoshoots, but who the fuck knew how well Google would be able to match these up. Dick wasn’t going to risk the headline ‘Actor famous for starring in romances is looking for hook-up on tinder’ (though of course TMZ would be far pithier than that) just for his vanity.

Though he did find some shots that hadn’t ever been released and cropped his face out of one of these. That would do. As for his username… he went with the hero of the first movie he’d ever starred in and combined that with his year of birth once the system informed him the name was taken.

After a brief hesitation, he set his sexual preferences to ‘all genders’.

Finally, everything was set up. Dick settled down to check out some hot singles in his area.

Sadly, the selection wasn’t that great. Especially with the dudes. Dick was sure that about half of them were either a decade older or younger than they pretended to be. The women were clearly better at taking selfies, too.  

It was possibly the wrong time to be picky. Dick wasn’t usually - a good smile was pretty much all it took on a good day. But hey, he had just spent the day in the company of the hottest rock star the 21st century had produced so far. Every mortal would have difficulty competing with that.

(Not with Jason’s personality though. Easily bottom 20% material there. Urgh. Dick was trying to forget about that.)

After that thought, he swiped right a few times. So far, no one had matched with him, but that was fine. He had just signed up, after all.

Then, finally, came a pic that stood out.

Funnily enough, this profile pic was as profile-less as Dick’s. All it showed was a bare back. It was mirror shot, probably, but with none of the glariness of the other pictures. The guy’s skin was almost as tanned as Dick’s, but what caught his eyes was the sheer endless mass of muscles it stretched across.

Dick swiped right.

A message appeared on the screen. ‘You matched with Rock_n_Rumble, 29’.

He switched apps and texted Donna again: There’s a cute guy! We matched! But I can’t just go meet up with him, can I? Wally would kill me

Donna: you genuinely just thought of that???

Yes^^’

Donna: Stop trying to make manga emojis happen again, Dick

Donna: Just… talk to him, flirt a bit; maybe it’ll be ok

Donna: This is    LA after all

Donna: Or he’ll just send you a dick pic

Donna: I do not want to know if either of these possibilities occurs.

I will describe everything that happens in explicit, excruciating detail.  

Dick switched back to tinder and pressed ‘OK’. A chatroom opened. He stared at the entry field for a long second, pondering how to start the conversation. He’d never felt the need for chat up lines before. Honesty and friendliness had always worked best for him. Hopefully, that would translate over into the Internet.

Nightwing86: Hi

Rock_n_Rumble: Hi.

This was where Dick would usually make a comment about the venue they were at or the way the other person looked, but… how did you compliment someone’s bare back without sounding like a total creep?

As he watched the seconds tick by without either of them writing anything, he realised that oh. Rock_n_Rumble wasn’t exactly in a better situation. Oh well, there was nothing for it then.

Nightwing86:  With a body like that - what on Earth are you doing on this site?

Rock_n_Rumble: Shouldn’t I ask you the same thing?

Rock_n_Rumble: Musician, ex-addict, grew up in New York - and also shit at flirting, in case you didn’t notice. Should I continue with that list? 

Nightwing86: Eh, you’re doing fine.

He was. Dick kinda dug the self-deprecating sarcasm. And at least he had something to work with now.

Nightwing86: Musician?

Rock_n_Rumble: I’m a guitarist

Nightwing86: Oh, you’re in a band?

Rock_n_Rumble: Kind of

Rock_n_Rumble: Nothing fixed, but I go on tour a lot. Weird staying in one place for work right now

He must be recording an album then. Considering that good guitarists in LA were like sand at a beach, Dick mentally re-evaluated the fame level of his conversation partner.

Nightwing86: I get that; I travel for work a lot too  

Rock_n_Rumble: What do you do?

Dick considered lying, but honestly, what was the point? And anyway, they were in LA. There were thousands of people calling themselves actors here.

Nightwing86: I’m an actor.

Rock_n_Rumble: oh cool. Film or theatre?  

Nightwing86: Mostly film these days. Was up on stage in NY for a bit, kinda miss it.  

Rock_n_Rumble: Oh really? When? Might’ve seen you, I went to Broadway a lot once I could afford it.

Nightwing86: its been a while, 2004-2006

That information wouldn’t give him away. Again, tons of people tried to make it on Broadway. Still, maybe he should address the fact that he wasn’t ready to talk about who he was.

Rock_n_Rumble: So I notice neither of us is forthcoming about names and identifying information.  

Rock_n_Rumble: Proposal: We stay anonymous for now, see how we get along, decide if we want to actually meet up later.

Nightwing86: oh thank god

Nightwing86: yeah, that would be great. I don’t like lying, but coming out to a stranger isn’t…

Rock_n_Rumble: same. Like, I’m technically out, but with the industry being what it is, the gossip isn’t fun.

Nightwing86: How does being ‘technically out’ work? All I ever get is ‘if you so much as breathe into the direction of someone who isn’t a cis woman we’ll kill you’

Rock_n_Rumble: It’s called ‘being a shit liar’.

Rock_n_Rumble: Also contrary enough that management knows that my reaction to being told that would probably result in me sucking a dick on stage.

Dick laughed.  

Nightwing86: Now that is a mental image to take to bed with.

Rock_n_Rumble: I like that we’ve been chatting for ten minutes and I’ve already got a kink noted down.  

Nightwing86: You remember you’re talking to an actor, right? Pretty sure we’re 85% exhibitionists.

Rock_n_Rumble: …okay, that’s a fair point.

Rock_n_Rumble: Still noting it down, though.

Nightwing86: Please tell me you’re not literally doing that.

Rock_n_Rumble: Maybe.

Rock_n_Rumble: Look, you want to exchange numbers? I’m not going to stay on this platform, I think.

Nightwing86: Aww, am I enough for you?

Nightwing86: 344-394-2222. Do me a favour and don’t pass that on.

Rock_n_Rumble: Promise. I’ll text you, just one sec.

Barely a few seconds later, a WhatsApp message popped up: Hi it’s Rock_n_Rumble. Thought this might work out better than text if you’re travelling a lot, too.

After some consideration, Dick saved the contact as ‘R_n_R’. The consideration was mostly about adding a butt or shoulder emoji to it, but he decided to be classy instead.

Out of curiosity, he checked out the WhatsApp profile of the other guy. Sadly, the pic was of a bright red guitar. His own was of the bird plushie that had accompanied him through his childhood and ever since, though, so he probably shouldn’t complain.

Hi again. Good thinking.

R_n_R: Oh good, it’s you and not someone completely unsuspecting.

R_n_R: So what are you up to? Apart from tindering, obviously.

Trying to decide if I want to watch something. Any Netflix recs?

Dick later mentally congratulated himself, because that question started a conversation that lasted for at least half an hour. Their taste didn’t seem too different, though Dick kinda had to snort when R_n_R recommended some of his own movies to him. In the end, they settled on ‘Luther’, because Idris Elba and murder. How exactly ‘recommend me a movie’ had turned into ‘let’s watch this series at the same time and shoot the shit over text’, Dick wasn’t sure, but it was pretty fun.

So fun, actually, that it took a text from Donna to remind him how much time had passed.

Donna: So how was it? Don’t leave me hanging, bird-boy.

I’m getting rid of tinder. All I got were three dick pics and two girls accusing me of catfishing them using Dick Grayson’s photos. Another girl explained to me that headless pics usually mean someone is married or in a relationship and doesn’t want their significant other to see. She called me an asshole for that, that’s why she even swiped right. Then she blocked me.

And if Dick was honest… he kinda liked the thought of trying this with Rock_n_Rumble, and Rock_n_Rumble only. The first person he’d talked to on there. The only one he connected to, even if only on a superficial level so far.

(Yes, he had screenshotted and saved that picture. Whatever.)

Donna: One gender clearly came out ahead in this.

And the cute guy is still chatting with me. We’re keeping it anon for now though. It’s been an hour and no sex talk, so I guess he’s legit.

Donna: facepalm Dick, do you ever consider your life might’ve turned into a romantic comedy?

We’re just talking.

Donna: Right. Well, I’ll leave you to do that. Good night, Dick. Have fun.

[standbyphoenix]

Movie star River Phoenix left musical mark in Alabama by Matt Wake

Outside record producer Rick Rubin’s Hollywood Hills home, drummer Josh Greenbaum sat in a silver Volvo with his friend and bandmate River Phoenix, the film actor.

The rock-star Lenny Kravitz was with them.

On the car’s stereo, Kravitz played Phoenix and Greenbaum a recording of a new song he’d written called “Are You Gonna Go My Way.” This was 1992, before that explosive tune would become the title track to Kravitz’s third album and era-defining music.

At the moment, Kravitz needed a drummer. He’d recently told mononymous Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea he was frustrated trying to find the right fit. Flea later told Phoenix about Kravitz’s predicament, while Flea was having lunch with Phoenix. Upon hearing about the opportunity, Phoenix promptly hooked-up the drummer of his own band, Aleka’s Attic, with an audition with Kravitz - a much bigger gig.

“And that’s how much River loved me as a brother as a friend,” Greenbaum says. “He was like, ‘I don’t want to hold you back from potential success, and if I can hook you up with this audition then I’m going to do it.’ River was incredibly gracious and generous. He wanted to see the people he cared about thriving.”

The South Florida native wasn’t the only drummer auditioning that day at Rubin’s house. There were 25 or so “L.A. rocker dudes” at the “cattle call” that day “decked-out in leather, nose rings and tattoos.” In sneakers, jeans, sweatshirt and short haircut, Greenbaum looked more college-kid than arena-ready. In the end, the gig didn’t go to a dude at all. Cindy Blackman, a virtuosic jazz musician who happens to be female, deservedly became Kravitz’s next drummer. Still, Greenbaum says he got two callbacks to jam with Kravitz over the course of a week.

River Phoenix was a gifted, charismatic movie star so physically attractive he seemed to defy science.

His nuanced performances lit up such films as "Stand By Me," "My Own Private Idaho" and "Running On Empty."

But Phoenix told Greenbaum more than once, “music was his first love and film was his day-job.”

While some actors’ musical projects can be of dubious quality, Phoenix had legitimate singer/songwriter talent. “Music was a need of his,” Greenbaum says. “That’s why he put so much effort into a band, trying to make it in the music business, which of course would’ve come easier for him than anyone else that wasn’t famous already.”

Phoenix’s other passions included environmentalism, humanitarianism and animal-rights. He was one of the most visibly philanthropic young stars of the early ’90s.

Phoenix was the reason Seventeen subscribers knew what “vegan” meant. “He had a heart of gold and was an extremely hyper-sensitive, emotional person,” Greenbaum says. “And that’s why he wound up helping a lot of people.”

The Gainesville, Fla.-based band’s tours brought them through Alabama, including circa - 1991 shows at Huntsville’s Tip Top Café and Tuscaloosa’s Ivory Tusk. Greenbaum recalls Aleka’s Attic performing in Auburn, possibly at the War Eagle Supper Club there, and maybe Birmingham too.

“We had some successful tours,” says Greenbaum, who’s resided in Maui for more than 20 years. “People showed up because they wanted to hear what River’s band was like, but once they got there they were like, ‘Damn this really is a good band,’ and we had some real authentic fans of the music, for the music, not just because it was River.”

Back before social-media and celeb clickbait, Aleka’s Attic tours also gave fans a rare chance to see a massively famous actor in-person, in the wilds of local rock-bars.

Back then, Sandee Curry was attending Lee High School and delivering pizzas part-time. She was also "obsessed with anything Hollywood-related." When she and friend Michelle Woodson heard about Phoenix's band's upcoming Tip Top Café show, they resolved to attend. "River Phoenix is coming to Huntsville, my hometown? This doesn't happen," Curry says. As many people who lived in Huntsville then are aware, in addition to hosting touring and local bands, Tip Top was known for being extremely easy to get into under-age, so she'd been to shows there before.

Curry brought her snapshot camera to the show. The camera was freshly loaded with black and white film, and she took photos of Aleka’s Attic that night. When she got the film developed later, mixed in with random friend pics were onstage shots of Phoenix, singer Rain Phoenix (River’s sister), bassist Josh McKay, violist Tim Hankins and drummer Greenbaum.

At the Tip Top that night, River Phoenix played a Stratocaster guitar and sported facial scruff, a white T-shirt and camouflage pants. Curry recalls the famous actor being somewhat withdrawn onstage. “If I’m remembering correctly, he was mostly doing backing vocals,” she says. “The bassist and Rain were doing a lot of the singing.” Although Greenbaum says River Phoenix was the songwriter and lead singer on most Aleka’s Attic’s material, fans interviewed for this story recall Rain Phoenix being the focal point onstage during the band’s Alabama shows.

Curry classifies the band’s live sound as “psychedelic ’90s alternative-rock.” She adds, “It was a fun show.”

She remembers enjoying the song “Too Many Colors” and McKay’s tune “Blue Period.”

At the Tip Top, Curry purchased one of the cassette tapes Aleka's Attic was selling at the time. "I listened to that tape a lot and it turned me into a fan" of the band, Curry says. She considered herself "a hippie" and her listening tastes also included The Doors. Curry kept her Aleka's Attic tape until about 10 years ago when she gave it to a friend's young sister who was fascinated with Phoenix: "She was really impressed by this cassette."

Christopher Brown was one of several audio engineers who ran live sound regularly at the Tip Top. On the night of Aleka's Attic he was off-work but there hanging out.

“They were a little more artsy than the typical stuff that we had at the time,” says Brown, who works at a local brewery now. “I remember being pretty impressed by them.” Looking for a more-mainstream, stylistically similar act, I mention Edie Brickell & New Bohemians, known for 1988 patchouli-pop hit “What I Am,” to which Brown, replies, “That’s not a bad comparison.”

The Aleka's Attic show had been the talk of the bar for weeks. Vira Ceci was bartending that night at Tip Top. She recalls Phoenix being "so nice" when she asked him to autograph a cocktail napkin for her cousin, and says the actor was "easily the most accessible member of the band." Ceci, currently employed as a technical writer, recalls the Aleka's Attic show being "pretty busy for a weeknight" and thinks the bar probably charged their typical, $5 cover that night.

Lance Church owned, ran and booked the Tip Top during its prime. He remembers the motor-home Aleka's Attic toured in arriving early in the afternoon and parked in the gravel lot across the street. There was some advance promotion and local press coverage and Church recalls "parents were bringing kids over to sign their movie posters." 

Church thinks Aleka’s Attic’s guarantee was “maybe a couple hundred dollars.”

In 1991 and several years into his acting career, Phoenix was just 21 years old. Church still keeps a photo of he and Phoenix shaking hands inside the Tip Top. "He seemed like a really good kid to me," says Church, now a manager at a chain restaurant. "He was polite. He didn't come in there like he was too good for the place or nothing. He was humble, a very likeable guy. He was giggly - he was just a kid."

Church says there'd been many phone calls in to the Tip Top in the week leading up to the Aleka's Attic gig, people asking about start time and such. In the end, he thinks about 100 people attended the show, inside the cinderblock building's mechanics-garage-sized interior. The Billiter sisters were among those attendees: Grace, then 18, Becca, 16, and Jo, 14 - all students at Westminster Christian Academy. (Again, the Tip Top was way easy to get into.) That night, Grace drove them to the Aleka's Attic show in her classic pink Volkswagen Beetle. Back at their family's northside Huntsville home, the sisters displayed River Phoenix photos on their bedroom walls, along with images with other hotties of the day, including Mel Gibson and Billy Idol. Other bands back then the sisters liked included INXS. 

Expecting to see Phoenix as he'd appeared as a svelte longhaired Indiana Jones in the latest "Raiders of the Lost Ark" sequel, the Billiters were surprised to see him onstage with a haircut Becca remembers as "choppy and punky." Jo says Phoenix's singing voice "sounded good, a little gravely" and had "nice harmony with his sister." But what's really seared into Jo's hippocampus is she was in the same room with "hands-down my favorite movie star." When the band was on break, the sisters got to meet their idol. Phoenix even briefly, sweetly put his arm around Jo. "I think my heart stopped for a couple beats," she recalls. Looking back, Becca says, "I love that it was the three sisters" that got to share resulting, VW-wide smiles that night.

James Dixon, a University of Alabama student then, attended Aleka's Attic's Ivory Tusk show. On the sidewalk out front of the Tusk, he saw Phoenix leaning up against a nearby light-pole, smoking a cigarette. "That was the days before selfies and things like that," recalls Dixon, who works in financial services in Birmingham. "People would say, 'Hey, River,' and the coeds were swooning over him, but he wasn't being hassled. He seemed laid-back."

Inside, the Ivory Tusk was packed. Earlier that day, Kelli Staggs and friend Lori Watts were playing pinball on a machine inside the bar while the band was doing their soundcheck. One Aleka's Attic musician came over and said hello, then Phoenix, recalls Staggs, who now works in Huntsville as a defense contract specialist. Later that night, Staggs says Aleka's Attic performed, in addition to their material, a version of far-out Jimi Hendrix tune "Third Stone from the Sun." After they played their Hendrix cover, the band asked the crowd if they knew that song. "It was like they were trying to weed out who was there for the music, and who was just there to see him because he was famous," Staggs says. Staggs was an art major at University of Alabama, where she'd seen alternative bands like 10,000 Maniacs perform at local venues.

Aleka's Attic drummer Josh Greenbaum recalls the band enjoying their Alabama shows. "I remember good energy, a good crowd. I remember getting treated pretty well." (Greenbaum has a random memory of one or more of these Alabama venues having troughs instead of urinals in the men's room.) He recalls Tip Top as "a dive, and we loved it for that reason. It was very endearing." In Tuscaloosa, he met a friend named Nancy Romine he's stayed in touch with. "During the same Southeast run, Greenbaum says Aleka's Attic did a show in Knoxville, Tenn. that was multitrack recorded and broadcast. In this era, "Lost in Motion," "What We've Done" and "Dog God" went over particularly well live, he says. Greenbaum recalls Phoenix, "loved the creative process of recording. If he had a preference I would say the studio was, probably, because he was a little bit shy and didn't like being in public places so much. But I know he loved playing live too and he did enjoy the touring. He was happy doing both."

Greenbaum was born 13 days before Phoenix. They were just 16 the first time they met, their families were friends. Greenbaum drove his dad's 1977 Chevy van to Phoenix's aunt's house, Phoenix walked out to meet him, then they went inside where Phoenix played him a demo tape of his song "Heart to Get." "It was a cool song," Greenbaum says. "The last of the commercial music that he wrote, as far as I'm concerned." The two teenagers hung out for about an hour then Greenbaum drove back home. A few months later Phoenix called Greenbaum and said he'd met Island Records founder Chris Blackwell backstage at a U2 concert and Blackwell wanted to sign Phoenix to a development deal. Phoenix asked Greenbaum to move to Gainesville - the famously progressive Phoenix family were living in nearby Micanopy - and start a band. He'd get him money each month to help "develop a band, make records and tour." Greenbaum moved to Gainesville in April 1988. He also spent time with Phoenix in Southern California, getting to know each other."

We were sort of like non-blood cousins," Greenbaum says. "River could trust me, A, because he knew each other through family and he knew I wasn't going to just be some starstruck idiot; and, B, because I'm a great musician. And he valued me as a human being and as a musician, highly. And that proof of his commitment to music, that he was willing to support a brother, to have my talents." 

At the time, Greenbaum had been playing “Aerosmith-y, commercial blues-influenced metal” in a local group called Toy Soldier, that eventually became semi-famous ’80s rockers Saigon Kick. At one point, Phoenix traveled to South Florida to visit with Greenbaum on a weekend when Toy Soldier was performing. “River had just gotten into (1984 mockumentary film ‘This is) Spinal Tap’ really heavily, and he did a ‘Spinal Tap’-esque video of that weekend, of that gig and the next morning,” Greenbaum says. “It was pretty funny, actually.”

Greenbaum was influenced by populist bands like Van Halen, Bee Gees and Queen. Phoenix introduced him to more quirkier acts like XTC, Roxy Music and Squeeze. As time went on, Phoenix's music became increasingly experimental. "It was deep, for sure," Greenbaum says of his friend's songwriting. "He had a commitment to crafting a masterpiece every time he wrote a song. And it drove me nuts. He was an eccentric person and his method of communication was such he didn't speak in technical music terms. He would speak artistically and metaphorically. He would say things like, 'I want it to sound like a ship on the ocean with the waves crashing up against the hull and birds flying over' or whatever. I would be like, 'OK, can we break that into sixteenth-notes?'"

Aleka's Attic's label, Island Records, was trying to figure out what to do with this music too. Island asked Phoenix to record two new demos to determine if they'd continue backing the project. He was going to be in the Los Angeles area filming the movie "Sneakers" and brought Greenbaum out to help demo songs. The drummer was able to hang on the "Sneakers" set, where he met his friend's costars, including Robert Redford, Sidney Poitier and Dan Aykroyd. After Phoenix turned in the new demos to Island, the label deemed the music unmarketable. Aleka's Attic was dropped.

At a certain point, McKay, who’d “butted heads musically and personally” with Phoenix for a while, Greenbaum says, parted ways with the band. Phoenix put together another band called Blacksmith Configuration, that featured Greenbaum and some new musicians, including bassist Sasa Raphael.

Phoenix was big on palindromes, Greenbaum says. Their song titles “Dog God” and “ Senile Felines” were palindromes and they were working on an album to be titled “Never Odd or Even,” another example.

On the night before Halloween 1993, Greenbaum went out partying with local musicians, “an intense night, for whatever reason.” Early the next morning, he crashed on the couch at a friend’s downtown Gainesville apartment. A few hours later, Greenbaum woke still buzzed to one of his musician pals from night prior knocking on the front door. When the friend entered, he looked pale and sweaty. He told Greenbaum he’d heard on the radio Phoenix had died. “I was in shock, but it just made sense and I knew it was true,” Greenbaum says. “In some way it didn’t surprise me. I didn’t see it coming - I can’t say that - but what I did see in River was his tendency for being extreme.”

In the wee hours of Oct. 31, Phoenix had collapsed and died on the sidewalk outside West Hollywood, Calif. nightclub The Viper Room, then co-owned by fellow actor/musician Johnny Depp. An autopsy determined cause of death to be “acute multiple drug intoxication.” Cocaine and morphine. Jo Billiter, the young fan who watched Aleka’s Attic’s 1991 show in Huntsville, cried when she heard the news her favorite actor died. “It broke my heart.”

Several fans interviewed for this story said Phoenix seemed a little bleary to clearly buzzed when they’d seen his band perform. Asked if he ever saw Phoenix’s partying on tour reach scary levels, Greenbaum says, “It was a typical rock & roll level. Nothing out of the ordinary. It was a bunch of guys in their young 20s playing gigs and having fun, just like any other band.”

When he was off working on films, Phoenix would check in every few weeks with Greenbaum, the drummer says. Phoenix called him from Utah, where he was filming the thriller “Dark Blood.” His next role was slated to be the interviewer in “Interview with a Vampire.”

When Phoenix called Greenbaum from Utah, “that was the most lucid, sane, grounded, understandable, discernible I had ever experienced him sounding. (In the past) there were times when I just couldn’t follow what he was talking about. He was kind of cryptic. And on that phone call he was like completely calm and sounded really together and we had a great conversation, a great connection and it wound up being our last phone call.”

In 2019, Aleka’s Attic music is back in the news. Two of the band’s songs “Where I’d Gone” and “Scales & Fishnails” were released along with a Rain collaboration with R.E.M. singer Michael Stipe (a friend of River’s) on a three-song collection called “Time Gone.” The record’s cover art features a photo of Rain and River, young and beautiful enjoying a sibling hug amid a verdant scene. A prior posthumous push to officially release Phoenix’s music hit snags getting musicians involved to sign off. “At that time, I was just like, 'Yeah, Rain, just get River’s music out to the world,’” Greenbaum says of that earlier effort. “That’s why he signed a record deal in the first place, to share his music with the world.”

As of the reporting of this story, Greenbaum says he hasn’t been contacted about usage of Aleka’s Attic music on “Time Gone.” The drummer found out about the release via messages from Facebook “friends” who are River Phoenix fans. “Rain didn’t consult us, she didn’t inform us, nothing,” Greenbaum says.

At one point during this interview, Greenbaum says he needs to call me back, so he can count out change to pay for groceries. He says he still plays drums with different local Maui cover bands as well as a blues-rock trio and by-day works construction and maintenance jobs.

Kro Records, the label that released “Time Gone,” didn’t respond to an email inquiry to interview Rain Phoenix and/or a label rep for this story.

Regular financial support and fast-tracking the Lenny Kravitz audition weren’t the only times Phoenix helped Greenbaum. He also bought him an electric-blue DW drumkit, among other instances. Outside of playing music, Phoenix and Greenbaum would throw the frisbee together or jump on the Phoenix family trampoline. They liked going to Falafel King and eating tabbouleh salad and humus. The famous actor would often come over for coffee to the mobile home Greenbaum and Greenbaum’s father lived in, on the Phoenixes’ Micanopy property.

These days, sometime random things will make Greenbaum think of River Phoenix. Sometimes it’s something more direct, like playing a gig will make him think of a certain onstage moment with his late friend.

After counting out coins in the checkout line, Greenbaum calls back. I ask if he thinks pressures of growing up famous led to what happened to Phoenix. “I wouldn’t doubt it,” he replies. “I definitely see how fame messed with his head, his heart. I think fame has that effect on everybody, which is why everybody wants to be famous, but you hear about all these famous people dropping dead and they’re unhappy, depressed and have drug and alcohol problems. Because fame is unnatural.”

— via AL.com, Feb 19, 2019.

[rivjudephoenix]

New Photo and Article: “Movie star River Phoenix left musical mark in Alabama” on al.com

Outside record producer Rick Rubin’s Hollywood Hills home, drummer Josh Greenbaum sat in a silver Volvo with his friend and bandmate River Phoenix, the film actor. The rock-star Lenny Kravitz was with them. On the car’s stereo, Kravitz played Phoenix and Greenbaum a recording of a new song he’d written called “Are You Gonna Go My Way.” This was 1992, before that explosive tune would become the title track to Kravitz’s third album and era-defining music. At the moment, Kravitz needed a drummer. He’d recently told mononymous Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea he was frustrated trying to find the right fit.

Flea later told Phoenix about Kravitz’s predicament, while Flea was having lunch with Phoenix. Upon hearing about the opportunity, Phoenix promptly hooked-up the drummer of his own band, Aleka’s Attic, with an audition with Kravitz - a much bigger gig. “And that’s how much River loved me as a brother as a friend,” Greenbaum says. “He was like, ‘I don’t want to hold you back from potential success, and if I can hook you up with this audition then I’m going to do it.’ River was incredibly gracious and generous. He wanted to see the people he cared about thriving”

The South Florida native wasn’t the only drummer auditioning that day at Rubin’s house. There were 25 or so “L.A. rocker dudes” at the “cattle call” that day “decked-out in leather, nose rings and tattoos.” In sneakers, jeans, sweatshirt and short haircut, Greenbaum looked more college-kid than arena-ready. In the end, the gig didn’t go to a dude at all. Cindy Blackman, a virtuosic jazz musician who happens to be female, deservedly became Kravitz’s next drummer. Still, Greenbaum says he got two callbacks to jam with Kravitz over the course of a week.

River Phoenix was a gifted, charismatic movie star so physically attractive he seemed to defy science. His nuanced performances lit up such films as "Stand By Me," "My Own Private Idaho" and "Running On Empty." But Phoenix told Greenbaum more than once, “music was his first love and film was his day-job.”

While some actors’ musical projects can be of dubious quality, Phoenix had legitimate singer/songwriter talent. “Music was a need of his,” Greenbaum says. “That’s why he put so much effort into a band, trying to make it in the music business, which of course would’ve come easier for him than anyone else that wasn’t famous already.”

Phoenix’s other passions included environmentalism, humanitarianism and animal-rights. He was one of the most visibly philanthropic young stars of the early ’90s. Phoenix was the reason Seventeen subscribers knew what “vegan” meant. “He had a heart of gold and was an extremely hyper-sensitive, emotional person,” Greenbaum says. “And that’s why he wound up helping a lot of people.”

Phoenix formed in Aleka’s Attic in 1987. The Gainesville, Fla.-based band’s tours brought them through Alabama, including circa-1991 shows at Huntsville’s Tip Top Café and Tuscaloosa’s Ivory Tusk. Greenbaum recalls Aleka’s Attic performing in Auburn, possibly at the War Eagle Supper Club there, and maybe Birmingham too.

“We had some successful tours,” says Greenbaum, who’s resided in Maui for more than 20 years. “People showed up because they wanted to hear what River’s band was like, but once they got there they were like, ‘Damn this really is a good band,’ and we had some real authentic fans of the music, for the music, not just because it was River.”

Back before social-media and celeb clickbait, Aleka’s Attic tours also gave fans a rare chance to see a massively famous actor in-person, in the wilds of local rock-bars.

Back then, Sandee Curry was attending Lee High School and delivering pizzas part-time. She was also "obsessed with anything Hollywood-related." When she and friend Michelle Woodson heard about Phoenix's band's upcoming Tip Top Café show, they resolved to attend. "River Phoenix is coming to Huntsville, my hometown? This doesn't happen," Curry says. As many people who lived in Huntsville then are aware, in addition to hosting touring and local bands, Tip Top was known for being extremely easy to get into under-age, so she'd been to shows there before.

Curry brought her snapshot camera to the show. The camera was freshly loaded with black and white film, and she took photos of Aleka’s Attic that night. When she got the film developed later, mixed in with random friend pics were onstage shots of Phoenix, singer Rain Phoenix (River’s sister), bassist Josh McKay, violist Tim Hankins and drummer Greenbaum.

At the Tip Top that night, River Phoenix played a Stratocaster guitar and sported facial scruff, a white T-shirt and camouflage pants. Curry recalls the famous actor being somewhat withdrawn onstage. “If I’m remembering correctly, he was mostly doing backing vocals,” she says. “The bassist and Rain were doing a lot of the singing.” Although Greenbaum says River Phoenix was the songwriter and lead singer on most Aleka’s Attic’s material, fans interviewed for this story recall Rain Phoenix being the focal point onstage during the band’s Alabama shows.

Curry classifies the band’s live sound as “psychedelic ’90s alternative-rock.” She adds, “It was a fun show.” She remembers enjoying the song “Too Many Colors” and McKay’s tune “Blue Period.”

At the Tip Top, Curry purchased one of the cassette tapes Aleka's Attic was selling at the time. "I listened to that tape a lot and it turned me into a fan" of the band, Curry says. She considered herself "a hippie" and her listening tastes also included The Doors. Curry kept her Aleka's Attic tape until about 10 years ago when she gave it to a friend's young sister who was fascinated with Phoenix: "She was really impressed by this cassette."

Christopher Brown was one of several audio engineers who ran live sound regularly at the Tip Top. On the night of Aleka's Attic he was off-work but there hanging out. “They were a little more artsy than the typical stuff that we had at the time,” says Brown, who works at a local brewery now. “I remember being pretty impressed by them.” Looking for a more-mainstream, stylistically similar act, I mention Edie Brickell & New Bohemians, known for 1988 patchouli-pop hit “What I Am,” to which Brown, replies, “That’s not a bad comparison.”

The Aleka's Attic show had been the talk of the bar for weeks. Vira Ceci was bartending that night at Tip Top. She recalls Phoenix being "so nice" when she asked him to autograph a cocktail napkin for her cousin, and says the actor was "easily the most accessible member of the band." Ceci, currently employed as a technical writer, recalls the Aleka's Attic show being "pretty busy for a weeknight" and thinks the bar probably charged their typical, $5 cover that night.

Lance Church owned, ran and booked the Tip Top during its prime. He remembers the motor-home Aleka's Attic toured in arriving early in the afternoon and parked in the gravel lot across the street. There was some advance promotion and local press coverage and Church recalls "parents were bringing kids over to sign their movie posters."

Church thinks Aleka’s Attic’s guarantee was “maybe a couple hundred dollars.”

In 1991 and several years into his acting career, Phoenix was just 21 years old. Church still keeps a photo of he and Phoenix shaking hands inside the Tip Top. "He seemed like a really good kid to me," says Church, now a manager at a chain restaurant. "He was polite. He didn't come in there like he was too good for the place or nothing. He was humble, a very likeable guy. He was giggly - he was just a kid."

Church says there'd been many phone calls in to the Tip Top in the week leading up to the Aleka's Attic gig, people asking about start time and such. In the end, he thinks about 100 people attended the show, inside the cinderblock building's mechanics-garage-sized interior. The Billiter sisters were among those attendees: Grace, then 18, Becca, 16, and Jo, 14 - all students at Westminster Christian Academy. (Again, the Tip Top was way easy to get into.) That night, Grace drove them to the Aleka's Attic show in her classic pink Volkswagen Beetle. Back at their family's northside Huntsville home, the sisters displayed River Phoenix photos on their bedroom walls, along with images with other hotties of the day, including Mel Gibson and Billy Idol. Other bands back then the sisters liked included INXS.

Expecting to see Phoenix as he'd appeared as a svelte longhaired Indiana Jones in the latest "Raiders of the Lost Ark" sequel, the Billiters were surprised to see him onstage with a haircut Becca remembers as "choppy and punky." Jo says Phoenix's singing voice "sounded good, a little gravely" and had "nice harmony with his sister." But what's really seared into Jo's hippocampus is she was in the same room with "hands-down my favorite movie star." When the band was on break, the sisters got to meet their idol. Phoenix even briefly, sweetly put his arm around Jo. "I think my heart stopped for a couple beats," she recalls. Looking back, Becca says, "I love that it was the three sisters" that got to share resulting, VW-wide smiles that night.

James Dixon, a University of Alabama student then, attended Aleka's Attic's Ivory Tusk show. On the sidewalk out front of the Tusk, he saw Phoenix leaning up against a nearby light-pole, smoking a cigarette. "That was the days before selfies and things like that," recalls Dixon, who works in financial services in Birmingham. "People would say, 'Hey, River,' and the coeds were swooning over him, but he wasn't being hassled. He seemed laid-back."

Inside, the Ivory Tusk was packed. Earlier that day, Kelli Staggs and friend Lori Watts were playing pinball on a machine inside the bar while the band was doing their soundcheck. One Aleka's Attic musician came over and said hello, then Phoenix, recalls Staggs, who now works in Huntsville as a defense contract specialist. Later that night, Staggs says Aleka's Attic performed, in addition to their material, a version of far-out Jimi Hendrix tune "Third Stone from the Sun." After they played their Hendrix cover, the band asked the crowd if they knew that song. "It was like they were trying to weed out who was there for the music, and who was just there to see him because he was famous," Staggs says. Staggs was an art major at University of Alabama, where she'd seen alternative bands like 10,000 Maniacs perform at local venues.

Aleka's Attic drummer Josh Greenbaum recalls the band enjoying their Alabama shows. "I remember good energy, a good crowd. I remember getting treated pretty well." (Greenbaum has a random memory of one or more of these Alabama venues having troughs instead of urinals in the men's room.) He recalls Tip Top as "a dive, and we loved it for that reason. It was very endearing." In Tuscaloosa, he met a friend named Nancy Romine he's stayed in touch with. "During the same Southeast run, Greenbaum says Aleka's Attic did a show in Knoxville, Tenn. that was multitrack recorded and broadcast. In this era, "Lost in Motion," "What We've Done" and "Dog God" went over particularly well live, he says. Greenbaum recalls Phoenix, "loved the creative process of recording. If he had a preference I would say the studio was, probably, because he was a little bit shy and didn't like being in public places so much. But I know he loved playing live too and he did enjoy the touring. He was happy doing both."

Greenbaum was born 13 days before Phoenix. They were just 16 the first time they met, their families were friends. Greenbaum drove his dad's 1977 Chevy van to Phoenix's aunt's house, Phoenix walked out to meet him, then they went inside where Phoenix played him a demo tape of his song "Heart to Get." "It was a cool song," Greenbaum says. "The last of the commercial music that he wrote, as far as I'm concerned." The two teenagers hung out for about an hour then Greenbaum drove back home. A few months later Phoenix called Greenbaum and said he'd met Island Records founder Chris Blackwell backstage at a U2 concert and Blackwell wanted to sign Phoenix to a development deal. Phoenix asked Greenbaum to move to Gainesville - the famously progressive Phoenix family were living in nearby Micanopy - and start a band. He'd get him money each month to help "develop a band, make records and tour." Greenbaum moved to Gainesville in April 1988. He also spent time with Phoenix in Southern California, getting to know each other.

"We were sort of like non-blood cousins," Greenbaum says. "River could trust me, A, because he knew each other through family and he knew I wasn't going to just be some starstruck idiot; and, B, because I'm a great musician. And he valued me as a human being and as a musician, highly. And that proof of his commitment to music, that he was willing to support a brother, to have my talents."

At the time, Greenbaum had been playing “Aerosmith-y, commercial blues-influenced metal” in a local group called Toy Soldier, that eventually became semi-famous ’80s rockers Saigon Kick. At one point, Phoenix traveled to South Florida to visit with Greenbaum on a weekend when Toy Soldier was performing. “River had just gotten into (1984 mockumentary film ‘This is) Spinal Tap’ really heavily, and he did a ‘Spinal Tap’-esque video of that weekend, of that gig and the next morning,” Greenbaum says. “It was pretty funny, actually.”

Greenbaum was influenced by populist bands like Van Halen, Bee Gees and Queen. Phoenix introduced him to more quirkier acts like XTC, Roxy Music and Squeeze. As time went on, Phoenix's music became increasingly experimental. "It was deep, for sure," Greenbaum says of his friend's songwriting. "He had a commitment to crafting a masterpiece every time he wrote a song. And it drove me nuts. He was an eccentric person and his method of communication was such he didn't speak in technical music terms. He would speak artistically and metaphorically. He would say things like, 'I want it to sound like a ship on the ocean with the waves crashing up against the hull and birds flying over' or whatever. I would be like, 'OK, can we break that into sixteenth-notes?'"

Aleka's Attic's label, Island Records, was trying to figure out what to do with this music too. Island asked Phoenix to record two new demos to determine if they'd continue backing the project. He was going to be in the Los Angeles area filming the movie "Sneakers" and brought Greenbaum out to help demo songs. The drummer was able to hang on the "Sneakers" set, where he met his friend's costars, including Robert Redford, Sidney Poitier and Dan Aykroyd. After Phoenix turned in the new demos to Island, the label deemed the music unmarketable. Aleka's Attic was dropped.

At a certain point, McKay, who’d “butted heads musically and personally” with Phoenix for a while, Greenbaum says, parted ways with the band. Phoenix put together another band called Blacksmith Configuration, that featured Greenbaum and some new musicians, including bassist Sasa Raphael.

Phoenix was big on palindromes, Greenbaum says. Their song titles "Dog God" and " Senile Felines" were palindromes and they were working on an album to be titled "Never Odd or Even," another example.

On the night before Halloween 1993, Greenbaum went out partying with local musicians, "an intense night, for whatever reason." Early the next morning, he crashed on the couch at a friend's downtown Gainesville apartment. A few hours later, Greenbaum woke still buzzed to one of his musician pals from night prior knocking on the front door. When the friend entered, he looked pale and sweaty. He told Greenbaum he'd heard on the radio Phoenix had died. "I was in shock, but it just made sense and I knew it was true," Greenbaum says. "In some way it didn't surprise me. I didn't see it coming - I can't say that - but what I did see in River was his tendency for being extreme."

In the wee hours of Oct. 31, Phoenix had collapsed and died on the sidewalk outside West Hollywood, Calif. nightclub The Viper Room, then co-owned by fellow actor/musician Johnny Depp. An autopsy determined cause of death to be “acute multiple drug intoxication.” Cocaine and morphine. Jo Billiter, the young fan who watched Aleka’s Attic’s 1991 show in Huntsville, cried when she heard the news her favorite actor died. “It broke my heart.”

Several fans interviewed for this story said Phoenix seemed a little bleary to clearly buzzed when they’d seen his band perform. Asked if he ever saw Phoenix’s partying on tour reach scary levels, Greenbaum says, “It was a typical rock & roll level. Nothing out of the ordinary. It was a bunch of guys in their young 20s playing gigs and having fun, just like any other band.”

When he was off working on films, Phoenix would check in every few weeks with Greenbaum, the drummer says. Phoenix called him from Utah, where he was filming the thriller "Dark Blood." His next role was slated to be the interviewer in "Interview with a Vampire."

When Phoenix called Greenbaum from Utah, "that was the most lucid, sane, grounded, understandable, discernible I had ever experienced him sounding. (In the past) there were times when I just couldn't follow what he was talking about. He was kind of cryptic. And on that phone call he was like completely calm and sounded really together and we had a great conversation, a great connection and it wound up being our last phone call."

In 2019, Aleka's Attic music is back in the news. Two of the band's songs "Where I'd Gone" and "Scales & Fishnails" were released along with a Rain collaboration with R.E.M. singer Michael Stipe (a friend of River's) on a three-song collection called "Time Gone." The record's cover art features a photo of Rain and River, young and beautiful enjoying a sibling hug amid a verdant scene. A prior posthumous push to officially release Phoenix's music hit snags getting musicians involved to sign off. "At that time, I was just like, 'Yeah, Rain, just get River's music out to the world,'" Greenbaum says of that earlier effort. "That's why he signed a record deal in the first place, to share his music with the world."

As of the reporting of this story, Greenbaum says he hasn’t been contacted about usage of Aleka’s Attic music on “Time Gone.” The drummer found out about the release via messages from Facebook “friends” who are River Phoenix fans. “Rain didn’t consult us, she didn’t inform us, nothing,” Greenbaum says.

At one point during this interview, Greenbaum says he needs to call me back, so he can count out change to pay for groceries. He says he still plays drums with different local Maui cover bands as well as a blues-rock trio and by-day works construction and maintenance jobs.

Kro Records, the label that released "Time Gone," didn't respond to an email inquiry to interview Rain Phoenix and/or a label rep for this story.

Regular financial support and fast-tracking the Lenny Kravitz audition weren't the only times Phoenix helped Greenbaum. He also bought him an electric-blue DW drumkit, among other instances. Outside of playing music, Phoenix and Greenbaum would throw the frisbee together or jump on the Phoenix family trampoline. They liked going to Falafel King and eating tabbouleh salad and humus. The famous actor would often come over for coffee to the mobile home Greenbaum and Greenbaum's father lived in, on the Phoenixes' Micanopy property.

These days, sometime random things will make Greenbaum think of River Phoenix. Sometimes it's something more direct, like playing a gig will make him think of a certain onstage moment with his late friend.

After counting out coins in the checkout line, Greenbaum calls back. I ask if he thinks pressures of growing up famous led to what happened to Phoenix. “I wouldn’t doubt it,” he replies. “I definitely see how fame messed with his head, his heart. I think fame has that effect on everybody, which is why everybody wants to be famous, but you hear about all these famous people dropping dead and they’re unhappy, depressed and have drug and alcohol problems. Because fame is unnatural.”

[my-grindelwald]

I translated Johnny’s Movie View Magazine Interview!

It’s a really really long interview (5.2k words) so I put it on google docs, but I also copied it over below the “keep reading” line if you prefer reading it on tumblr. He talks about his beginnings in acting, working with Tim Burton and other directors, the process of film-making, Grindelwald in Fantastic Beasts, the Hainan film festival, and his upcoming movie Waiting for the Barbarians. 

DISCLAIMER: I translated this myself so there definitely will be places with a some errors, although I have tried to translate as accurately as possible.

How did you start off your acting career?

The word “acting” is pretty strange. I started acting accidentally. Or perhaps it was fate. When I first moved to LA, I was a guitarist for my band. After the band broke up, I lost my job. I tried many different things: working at record shops, bookstores, you name it. I had a friend who was an actor, and he thought I’d make a good actor, so he suggested I meet his agent. I shot my first movie not really knowing what I was doing. And then after a while, I realised that I was slowly moving towards another path in my career, and I knew I had to put aside my dream of becoming a musician in order to fully commit to acting. I started researching and taking classes in performing, and after going deep into the acting career, I realised the most important thing was just practice.

How did you feel when you first acted in front of a camera?

I remember feeling really stupid (laughs). That was my first time finding out how a movie was shot - how all the bits we shot were pieced together to form an entire movie. To be honest, at first, I thought acting was pretty boring, because there was always a very detailed flow we had to go with, and stuff like specific camera angles and close-ups would all be laid out in detail for us. At the time, I was really ignorant to how a film was shot, so standing in front of a camera for the first time felt totally absurd. But in becoming an actor, I’ve changed a lot - I’ve become more confident in front of a camera. Sometimes, I even feel more at ease in front of a camera.

It’s really been a learning experience for me. Learning is one of the most important things for an actor. You need to observe the people around you with a keen eye - their body language, the way they talk, that kind of stuff. You absorb all of that unconsciously, like a sponge, and in a couple years, when playing a character, you might find yourself using this knowledge you’ve picked up and adding it to your performance. And when you act more freely, the real you is also able to live more freely. Actors are observers, so I try to observe and copy the body language and speech of people around me.

When you first get a script, how long does it take for you to understand the character and find his inner motives?

I feel like it’s pretty natural. After receiving a script, my brain tells me how to make sense of it. I first pick out the more meaningful parts in the script, and see if the story has depth to it. I always see if the script itself is good before deciding if there are any good roles in it. If I’m not satisfied with it myself, it’s, of course, going to be impossible to convince me to bring the character to life. If I do want to take the part, but I’m not able to add something more to the character, I start to consider my limits, and from there, I find new ways of approaching the character. Sometimes, I’ll be offered roles that have not been acted by anyone else on screen before, and my heart would tell me to give it a shot. In these cases, I normally know whether the script is suitable for me by the tenth page, sometimes even the fifth page, of the script.

When preparing for a role, do you put yourself in the character’s shoes?

Yeah, I actually do. I’ll see these images of scenes, or maybe childhood memories, or just bits and pieces of the character’s life in my mind, and it helps me empathise with the character. When reading a script for the first time, I make some notes or remarks on it to record down these instincts I get. After that, reading it for the second time, I try to challenge the boundaries of my initial thoughts on the character, and find any errors in my concepts. If my thoughts on the character are the same on both readings, I’ll read it again, find the character’s defining characteristics, and then try and fuse myself with the character. Once I’ve finished reading the entire thing, I more or less have a rough understanding of the character. But I have a habit of not reading the screen direction too much. I rather let the character’s mannerisms and actions come to me naturally in the moment, instead of following these specific actions in the script, because it lets me fully immerse myself in the character.

When you first worked with Tim Burton, he was still a very young director. How was it like working with him then, and have you worked with any other young directors since then?

I met Tim in 1989. We agreed to meet at St. John Street in London. At the time, I thought he didn’t seem like he had the material in him to be a director. I had been wanting to shoot a film that was away from the normal, and I had continuously been looking for an opportunity like that. So agreeing to meet Tim was kind of like laying out the path for myself. At the time, I was shooting Cry Baby, and the director, John Waters, was the kind of person who created taste through film, but Tim wasn’t. I had been very sure that I wouldn’t be chosen for Edward Scissorhands, but I really loved the screenplay, to the point I won’t ever forget the emotions I felt getting that screenplay for the first time. I cried like a child, reading that script. Edward’s suffering really hit me in the soul - I knew that kind of feeling: the feeling of a constant lack of safety, being afraid to interact with all these unfamiliar people and things, and the fear of being hurt. I had thought Tim wouldn’t cast me for this film, so I had wanted to cancel our meeting, but my agent wouldn’t let me.

Little did I know, we got on like old friends from the first time we met. Tim’s pretty shy, and I’m not exactly the talkative kind either, and three hours and eight cups of coffee later, Tim’s hands were already shaking. A month later, I didn’t hear from him at all, so I assumed I hadn’t been cast. But then, I got this phone call from Tim, and he said, “Johnny, you’re Edward Scissorhands.” My mind just went blank; the only thing I remember was crying. I had found the strange, off road path that I had wanted. Crybaby had been my first step, and Edward Scissorhands my second.

What about later on? Were your films with Tim successful?

In those first three weeks of filming, Tim was a little hesitant; he was trying to decide if my acting was too weird, and in those three weeks, we didn’t get along as easily. But in the end, he let go, and said, “Just do it your way,” and somehow, we managed to get the stuff he wanted. After Scissorhands, Tim and I became closer, and we then shot Ed Wood. From there we just made movie after movie, and now it’s like we practically have a common language.

You’ve worked with many famous directors as well. How is working with them different from working with Tim?

I’ve got pretty good relationships with the many directors I’ve worked with before. Tim’s like a brother to me, and we’re both friends with many other directors. When working with other directors than Tim, I try even harder to get what they want in the character to present the story to the audience. Some of the younger directors are sort scared that they didn’t do enough preparation, or that something they didn’t expect will happen. I think they’re thinking too much into it - they’ve already got the entire film in their mind. Sometimes, they end up relying too much on the planning, and they’re overcautious, so they lose a lot of the freedom that comes with making a film. He’ll think, what if the stuff I shoot doesn’t look exactly like what I’ve got in my head? The more they limit their imagination, the fewer chances they have to think of something on the spot, and come up with something amazing that they didn’t initially plan for.

So when I work with them, I want to give them a chance to experience something fresh, or something challenging, something new and exciting. Sometimes, we could do 10 takes of the same scene, and still not get what we are trying to go for. I think it’s not good if the actors are all thinking too much about how they should act, while the director is thinking too much about how he should be shooting it. On set, I’m even more willing to improvise, by, for example, changing the way I say my lines, or adding some actions that aren’t in the script, and in that moment, we’re able to capture the natural, genuine reactions of the actors I’m working alongside in the scene. You need to step out of your comfort zone in order to find the most truthful interactions between humans. There’s some directors that are very strict, and at every step of making the film, they’ve got a very specific idea of what they want. But the problem with that is that they don’t understand that film is an art of human interactions, and it’s not something you can do with just one person telling everyone else what to do.

Do you have any Hollywood films and directors that you pay attention to?

In recent years, I haven’t watched many films outside of Hollywood. I remember when I was really young, I watched the film Time of the Gypsies by the director Emir Kusturica. The colours in that film were particularly gorgeous, and it was a very artistic film. I ended up working with Kusturica in Arizona Dream, but you could say that film was a nightmare for both of us. Normally, a movie takes about three to five months to be shot, but we took an entire year for Arizona Dream. Of course, that film became an important film in my career, and Kusturica is an amazing director,so he has always been able to do this without fear. I’ve always believed that fear is our greatest enemy - whether it’s in our lives or when making a film, fear is always there to drag us down.

Working with Kusturica was an extraordinarily meaningful experience for me. It gave me the opportunity to experience, first-hand, that as an actor, you really can try anything, so as long as the role is reasonable, I can go ahead and try it. There was once I worked with Faye Dunaway, and at the time, I was still pretty young, and she was already middle-aged. We were shooting a scene where my character, the young man, has to seduce Faye’s character, and he’s growing from a young boy to an adult. Our initial plan was for my character to run around like a rooster and follow Faye around, so when we were shooting the scene, we just ran around in circles in the house. You see, film can just be shot like that. When we discuss certain scenes, we don’t consider how to minimise the risks - the most important thing is that we embrace our curiosity; just give ourselves the freedom to explore, say, what kind of results would I get if I did this scene this way. When you make a film, you can’t follow the screenplay exactly. Sometimes, there’s beautiful dialogue in the script, but it may not fit with the vibe of the rest of the film, so you’ve got to reluctantly cut it out. In making a film, you need to push the boundaries. If you don’t try, you won’t know what kind of sparks you’re really able to create.

So making a film involves a lot of teamwork and putting aside your ego?

Yeah. For example, on set, another actor may ask to do another take, or want to try another way of doing the same scene. You could hate that they’re doing that - you could even hate the actor himself - but you should give him a chance to try, because it could help open another door for yourself, and in the end, you’ll definitely get something surprising out of it.

When shooting From Hell, the director Allen Hughes gave me many suggestions. Like when we finished shooting the scene where my character turns hostile, he walked over and he told me, “No sunlight.” I immediately understood: don’t give them a ‘good’ expression, just remain committed to being the bad guy. Even though the lines are already written out nicely, actors still need to figure out the emotions within those lines, and use stuff like their body language to bring across these emotions, and these are all actually hidden between the lines in the script. Simply reading out the lines is a very easy thing to do, like saying, “I love you” is easy, but the audience isn’t stupid. They can sense that the feelings behind the words “I love you” aren’t real. Of course, the script itself is very important as well - the information in the lines helps us to understand the plot. But these hidden, unspoken lines are what make up the atmosphere of the film, and it lets the audience feel the change in emotions in the characters, and the waves of emotions in the character. The actors’ performances and the script combined together creates the tension in films.

Are there any young directors who have moved you with a script?

If a young director works on a screenplay, he needs to leave the actors some space to explore on top of giving them his vision. A good script would be one that even if the actors go with whatever idea they have, the film will still work out - it means the script is flexible. Being an actor, I’ve got a responsibility to both the director and the audience. I’m the medium between the director and the audience - I bring the director’s vision to the audience, but through that, I also have my own interpretation of the stuff I’m doing. I always have a lot of ideas, so when shooting a film, I have to find a balance between my own interpretations, and the director’s vision, while still being loyal to myself. A good screenwriter always leaves enough space and chances for the actors to explore. Putting together a film is like making a montage of clips, really. If the director’s too harsh, too many clips will end up on the cutting room floor. But as an actor, if you’re not giving the directors a choice on what to leave in or cut out, then you’re not doing your job well either.

Other than acting, have you tried any other jobs in the film industry?

I’ve directed a film once, and I’ve written a screenplay. It a story about the native Americans and how they lived, but it was only a rough framework, not anything refined yet. I didn’t want to act in it myself, but people told me that if I didn’t act in it, it would only get maybe 2 million dollars, but if I did, it’ll probably get 5 million. I was convinced by that. Being a director isn’t easy. You need money to be able to shoot whatever you want to shoot. But actors and directors are two vastly different roles. A director has to manage everything on set, but as an actor, you only have to care about your own performance, and nothing else. A director has so many different things they need to take care of, while an actor just goes with their feelings and does the scenes they need to do. Actors don’t need to bother with logistics on set. If you made an actor take care of all this stuff, I’d bet you, within 5 minutes, the set would have to be shut down. They wouldn’t be able to concentrate on their performance. If I had to do that, I’d go crazy.

As a director, after work, you still need to sit down and read through your script, see if there’s anything that should be changed. To me, that kind of lifestyle might as well be from a scene from a horror film. And after a day of shooting, the director still needs to review all of the footage. If I’m both acting in and directing the same film, I’d be looking at my own performance the entire day, which feels really weird. So really, both acting and directing have their own challenges, and trying to do both is just extremely difficult.

As a casting director, I really wasn’t good at judging auditions. I never felt like screen tests had any relevance to the actual shooting process. Just reading a few lines won’t show a person’s real acting ability. When I was a casting director, I watched these people walk through the door every day, read their lines, and all of them couldn’t get the kind of feel I wanted for the film, and I was going slightly mad. To begin with, I wasn’t great at the auditioning process as an actor, so as a casting director, I wasn’t good either. So, a suggestion to people looking to audition for things, don’t just go in and read your lines. Act out a portion of the script. I want to see what you and your fellow actors sharing the scene with you can do. I want to see your interpretations, your style, the path you want to go down. Through a process like that, I can see the big picture of the film, and how much space you’re leaving me, as director, to make choices. Like I said before, a good actor should leave space for the director to make creative decisions as well.

So do you still want to continue being a director?

Yeah, I actually want to direct 2 more films. One of them is a screenplay that I stole 30 years ago. At the time, my agent told me the rough storyline of the script, and after I heard it, I just completely took it away. Also, I won’t necessarily act in films I’m directing, because I really enjoy the process of working with different actors and creating a film with them. I especially like it when they develop their characters and breathe life into them, because in that moment, as a director, there’s this sense of accomplishment. Basically, if I direct a movie, I want to put my entire heart and soul into directing, and not have to worry about my performance.

What kind of script catches your attention?

Those that resonate in me. As long as the character in the script is moulded so that it feels vivid, and the plot is interesting, it’ll catch my attention. About the script, I think about how much space the actor playing the role has to explore on their own - whether the actor is able to make the character even more well-developed, more thought-provoking, more interesting. The most fundamental part is seeing if I’m able to get a feel of the character. If I am, then the screenwriters did a good job of creating a vivid, believable character. I see if the script can still remain faithful when put under pressure from outside forces, to make sure that it’s not just another script with a storyline everyone’s heard a thousand times.

After Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald was released in China, Grindelwald became very popular amongst Chinese fans. J.K. Rowling did not include much about Grindelwald in the Harry Potter series, so how did you create this character?

First, I had to get the foundation right. Jo gave me many suggestions, and other than that, the most important part was just the screenplay. I made many notes on the script, and through reading the script multiple times, I slowly added flavour to the character. I didn’t want him to be a character that people could just take one look at him and understand him. He’s a master of manipulation who wants to convince people to join his side, and on the other hand, he does have softer, kinder parts to his personality. My take on him was that any internal conflict you had in yourself becomes very dangerous when dealing with Grindelwald. I think he has a double personality: one side of him is his original self, and the other is the side that tries to oppress - one clear, one mysterious. That’s also the reason why I chose to have different coloured eyes, to show the two sides to his personality.

The relationship between Grindelwald and Dumbledore is something that many of the fans pay particular attention to. Did the events that happened in their past have any influence on the way you created Grindelwald’s character? And did you film the “Mirror of Erised” scene together with Jude Law?

No, when I got to set, Jude Law’s parts had already been shot. Jo has really written an amazing story, and she really showed how Grindelwald and Dumbledore’s love and at the same time, hate, for each other was built up. I think the two of them are a sort of surprising pairing. To each other, they are the best person in the world. I believe that there once was a passionate love between them, and this love was born because they both saw a reflection of themself in the other person. But for Grindelwald, his love came with an envy. He had always thought of himself as the greatest dark wizard, but in his heart, he clearly knows that Dumbledore has the same level of power that he does, and that Dumbledore will become even stronger. His conceitedness is eventually the reason why they went on different paths.

From then on, Grindelwald harboured a grudge in his heart. But do you know what this grudge represents? There’s a side to his grudge that no one gets to know of - it’s wounds, it’s pain, and it’s this hatred that he has, having this, in a way, forbidden, love, yet having nowhere to vent his frustration. I understood Grindelwald and Dumbledore’s relationship from this point of view, and from some lines in the film, you can feel this paradoxical opposition between them, where they oppose each other like fire and water do, but yet are bound to each other. Grindelwald’s decision in the end was to continue on his path that led him to become the Grindelwald we know now. These are things that you can’t see on the surface of the story, because they’re all hidden within the tiny details. I think Grindelwald and Dumbledore’s past is filled with pain, so I also really want to know what exactly happened between them.

As we see in the movie, Dumbledore says that he cannot move against Grindelwald because they made a blood pact. If the blood pact did not exist, would Dumbledore be able to move against him?

I believe even without the blood pact, Dumbledore would still be extremely hesitant whether he is able to move against Grindelwald. This is also Grindelwald’s internal conflict, because he isn’t sure if Dumbledore will one day return to his side. But I’m guessing he’s also somewhat anticipating the day when the two of them finally meet to fight, because Grindelwald needs this battle to happen in order to achieve his final goal. His hatred, envy and bitterness will all be let loose in that one battle. Grindelwald is very confident no one in the wizarding world can be a worthy opponent to him, because his name is his faith. But in the end, it will be this exact arrogance that will lead to his downfall.

How do you feel coming to Hainan and having the masterclass session with young directors?

I’m very inspired by them. To have this sort of opportunity to chat with people that are willing to devote themselves to filmmaking is really special. When I attend press conferences, the questions the reporters ask are mostly similar. Once these reporters have been in the business for a while, they aren’t really that interested in your answer - they’re just trying to get their job done.

But here, this large group of young audience really is interested in the film business, and this makes me really happy. Like if someone asked me a question about acting, then I’d gladly share about my own experiences as an actor. You could even ask me, “How did you become famous?” And I’d say, “If you want to become famous, first of all, don’t think about becoming famous.” Don’t be too focused on reaching your goal, and focus more on the process instead. If you’re able to persevere doing the thing you love, then you will become the person you want to be. We often say that when someone has an ambition, it’s a curse, but really, the truth is that being able to do something you love while working towards a goal is also not a bad thing.

Having this opportunity to chat with young people that want to commit themselves to the film industry makes me really happy. They’re not trying to repeat what others have done before them - they’re like the future of film. If sharing my experiences are able to help them understand what a career in the industry is like, then I’d be very honoured. Nothing makes me happier than being able help others improve.

Another thing about the activity that made me very pleased was that everyone was very sincere. It wasn’t just about me sharing my stories - the more important thing was that I took something away from it as well. The questions that the audience asked also let me reflect about myself. They’ve given me even more hope for the future - the fact that more and more people want to go down the film industry path and face whatever challenges they meet without fear, it’s a really amazing thing.

Do you have any plans for the future?

To me, I’m not sure how the future will be like, and I don’t want to just follow in someone else’s footsteps. I think the most important thing is what kind of attitude I’m meeting the future with. I’m just going to think about how I can make my characters more real, more natural, because as an actor, you’re responsible for the role, and for the film. And I think that’s enough.

Sometimes, in order to do what you love, you need to persevere, and not just come to terms with what you have in order to make someone else happy. In making a film, every aspect is closely linked together, and if a director tries too hard to please everyone, his vision will end up becoming very restricted. I’ve told this to Michael Mann once, while we were filming Public Enemies. I talked to him about some of the choices I had made for my role as Dillinger, mainly about the way he talked. I had some ideas that conflicted with his. Dillinger was from northern Indiana. We hadn’t found any recordings of his voice, but we did have one of his father’s voice. His father had a very typical southern accent, which was very different from how people from Chicago and New York spoke. The place I was born is only 70 miles away from Dillinger’s hometown. I’m from Kentucky, so I’m familiar with southern accents because I grew up speaking it. I felt that Dillinger should speak with a southern accent, but Michael Mann thought he should speak with a Chicago accent. So I told him, “Look, in this gang from Chicago, you’ve got two Australians, the guy playing Baby Face Nelson, Stephen Graham, is British, and Marion Cotillard is French. I grew up 70 miles away from Dillinger’s hometown! You got a bunch of foreign actors, and you’re saying my American accent isn’t real enough?”

Out of all the movies you’ve watched in 2018, which one is your favourite?

I really like documentaries, so I’ll recommend this one: Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story. I can’t remember if it’s a 2017 or 2018 film. It’s about an actress in the 1930s. She’s a legend. She invented the radio. The ship that one of her friends and their family was on, headed from Europe to America, was destroyed by the Germans. Her friend’s death made her start to think about how to deal a blow back, so she started her research into the radio. Her invention is the foundation of our bluetooth and wifi systems today. But the American government took away her patent without notice, and she tried to appeal, but didn’t get anything out of it. So she ended up spending the rest of her life just slowly aging away. This movie was particularly touching, because it was written like a lament for Hedy Lamarr, and it completely moved me. There was another film, not a 2018 one, it’s Embrace of the Serpent by Ciro Guerra, I really recommend this one.

Last question, you’re working with Ciro Guerra on a film, right? Can you tell us a little bit about it?

I think it’s definitely going to be a great film. It’s called Waiting for the Barbarians, and I think it’s really relevant to our reality today. The story is very intense. It’s about the history of a fictional empire, and the battle of good versus evil. We always say that the good will triumph over the evil, but sometimes in reality, it isn’t the case, and this story is told from this point of view. My character is an “intruder”. He says that the barbarians will do things to threaten everyone else, and threaten the entire empire, but it’s really not the case. But the story takes everything he’s come up with and turns it into reality. I’ll be working with Mark Rylance in this film. He’s a veteran in the industry that I particularly admire. I’m not sure when this film will be released, like how when I did Sweeney Todd, I could only imagine how Tim Burton would piece all the clips together to form the complete film. Sometimes I really, really want to see the complete movie early, but it’s not actually that easy. To an actor, this also pretty disastrous. Ciro Guerra has his own, very unique views and visions, and at the same time, he’s open to listening to our ideas about our characters. He’s a great director.

[vladfromparis-blog]

Wow I can not resist translating this French article on Timothée, I feared the worst with the title but .....please read it ! “ “Timothée Chalamet: new genius or actor totally overpriced?”

https://mcetv.fr/mon-mag-culture

- Timothée Chalamet is on everyone's lips since "Call Me By Your Name". But the machine would not race a little too fast?

- A name of our home’ very French name ). A square jaw. A “minois” (pretty kitty face)  cut to the bill. And an early career that foreshadows the best. In a good big year, Timothée Chalamet has established itself as one of the great hopes of cinema. closevolume_off Capable, alone, to move the “minettes” (youg girls) to see works rather arty kind. This is because the young man has not yet signed big franchises. Or strong commercial popcorn movies. Is it enough to make him a rising star? Or the "Chalamania" (we have just invented the term, leave Google quiet) would it be transient? In other words, the French-American would not make too much noise for nothing? As always, your faithful servant tries a fair and objective statement (well, a little).

- TIMOTHEE CHALAMET AND THE PHENOMENON CALL ME BY YOUR NAME The first time the general public saw the beautiful brown in a theater, it was probably in front of the sublime Interstellar. He then camped the son of the hero, erased. To the extent that the legend says that during the projection of the film in preview, the interpreter would have shed a tear. Emotions? Yes and no. The actor especially expected to have a much more important role! It is true that the film signed Christopher Nolan, we will remember a bluffing scenario. A Matthew McConaughey at the culmination of his talent. A music steeped in sadness. But not really the face of Timothée Chalamet, just sketched. It will be necessary to wait for the month of February 2018 (in France, at least) so that the artist is identified by a doubled. At first thanks to his performance in Lady Bird. If, this time again, he only plays a role rather than a second, the actor pats us in the eye. Magnetic and different, he plays Kyle, the popular and jaded bad boy of almost everything. A perso sure of him, inverted reflection of a certain Elio. Or the protagonist of Call Me By Your Name, who really reveals Timothée Chalamet.

-TIMOTHEE CHALAMET, SQUEEZED IN THE ROLE OF THE TEEN LIKE OTHERS :  Elio is a teenager like the others, in phase of discovery with his sexuality. At once fearful and sure of himself, erudite, his diaphanous complexion scotches us to our seats. It is that in this film, the twenty-year-old (yes, we know, he is barely fourteen years old) dares everything. To roll a “galoche” ( french kiss) with full mouth to his partner, Armie Hammer? Done. Simulate a handjob in a peach? No problemo. Put your head in a used (alleged) boxer ? Easy for him ! As moving as it is daring, Elio propels Chalamet into the big leagues. So that a (deserved) rain of nominations for the biggest competitions of the 7th art will follow. The professionals talked ... More recently, you could see the comedian in My Beautiful Boy. Where he camped Nick, a teenager pampered by his father, but struggling with alcohol and drugs. A complicated partition, as the theme of addiction has been treated many times in the cinema ... But once again, the French-American is doing just right. Subtle, never too much, we take a liking to this drunk teenager, constantly drunk and / or drugged, unable to not lie to those who love him. There are a lot of Elio and Kyle in Nick. And this is perhaps the only real criticism that can be issued at the moment. In a sense, the actor knows how to take risks. And at the same time, stays in a certain comfort zone, with rather indie films where he plays "normal" teenagers. Not that we would like to see her little loops in a horror movie or Avengers but ... after all, why not?

-TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET, A GOOD CUSTOMER WITH THE SENSE OF STYLE Finally, if we talk about little Tim, it's because his style and his way of being are not left out. Like it or not, today, being an actor is not just about making movies. If some opt for discretion - and it's their right - others play the ball game promotion thoroughly. This is the case of the young man, excellent client. Who, on the set of Everyday in 2018, had impressed the gallery by speaking entirely in French. Before amusing him by revealing that his sister considered Louis Garrel as his "Zac Efron". Oops! And when it's not joking in interviews that he attracts the spotlights, it's for his ole ole outfits on the red carpets. Regarded as a fashion icon, many Tumblr tables were already able to find his outfits from Call Me By Your Name. Timothée Chalamet persists and signs his hype actor status with even more daring outfits. For example, at the London Film Festival last October. Rather than a dark James Bond tuxedo like his colleagues, the ephebe unashamedly comes out of Alexander McQueen's colorful flower costume. Not necessarily the cup of tea of ​​the author of these lines, even if she willingly recognizes the cojones of the actor! In the same vein, for the last edition of the Golden Globes, Chalamet is squaring a very queer harness signed Louis Vuitton. An accessory with slightly SM accents. Who give back, the air of nothing - and no bad word - a big blow to our old macho and narrow Hollywood. 

     Mélissa Chevreuil

PERFECT ANALYSIS ! 

[free-martinis]

Words by ROBIN SWITHINBANK 

Photography by MATT HOLYOAK

Styling byGARETH SCOURFIELD

“It’s not the kind of thing you’d expect to hear a movie star say, at least, not one who has starred in some of the highest-grossing films of all time. ‘I’m not part of the Hollywood A-list,’ says Martin Freeman, shrugging his shoulders. ‘I’m genuinely not. No. Nowhere near.’

That might sound unduly modest, but the thing is, despite appearing as the titular figure in Peter Jackson’s $3bn Hobbit super-franchise; despite being part of Marvel’s universe (twice, most recently in Black Panther); despite appearing alongside the likes of Billy Bob Thornton (as Lester Nygaard in the Coen-brothers-inspired TV hit Fargo) and Benedict Cumberbatch (as Dr John Watson in Sherlock); and despite being an Emmy and BAFTA-award winning actor (both for Sherlock), he’s not.

‘For a lot of people, the Hobbit was played by Bilbo Baggins,’ he says, that familiar look of knowing resignation writ large across his face. Surely playing the heroic halfling has transformed his career and spun him into the red-carpet superstar galaxy? ‘I don’t know how many people after that thought: “Get me that guy.” I genuinely don’t know. It didn’t feel like it made a massive difference to me. Honest to God.’ Perhaps that will explain where he keeps those awards. ‘On my roof,’ he quips. ‘So people can see them.’

It’s tempting to cast Freeman as unhappy. There’s certainly a tension in him. In person, he’s courteous and engaged – he says words like ‘genuinely’ and ‘literally’ often and fervently – but there’s a sharpness to his opinions, and there’s plenty that riles him. That said, he seems at one with his lot. Mostly. ‘I will allow myself to be proud of that,’ he says of his awards, clearly trying not to big himself up. ‘I do alright. I do OK.’

Martin Freeman might have done some blockbusters in his time, but his first love is independent film. His latest vehicle is Ghost Stories, a proper spooky, throw-your-popcorn-in-the-air fright fest. It’s also an anthology – the fashionable format of our time – featuring the mercurial talents of Paul Whitehouse, Alex Lawther and Andy Nyman. Freeman appears in the third and final act as a wealthy city trader with a ghost problem no prominent psychiatrist has been able to explain. It’s a bleak piece, but it’s funny, too, particularly when Freeman’s natural comic talents are front and centre.

‘People are being hit badly. I’d happily vote for someone who’s going to tax me more’

It is also, for reasons that can’t be explained without spoiling the film, another reminder that the 46-year-old is one of our most versatile actors (‘To be a good comic actor means you’re a good actor, right?’). We spend 10 minutes discussing the film, which Nyman co-wrote and co-directed with Jeremy ‘League of Gentlemen’ Dyson, before it dawns on us that we can’t really talk about it. Not on paper, anyway. One salient detail gets the full treatment, before Freeman jumps in: ‘Don’t give that away, for f**k’s sake!’ he implores. ‘This is my first interview for the film and I’ve already f**ked it up…’

Freeman is not known for his candour. He doesn’t do a lot of interviews and he’s no self publicist (he’s not on social media), only letting it slip that he and Sherlock co-star Amanda Abbington had split after two kids and 16 years together in an interview with the FT a year after the event. Is he with anyone now? ‘Well,’ he says, folding his arms. ‘I would never tell you if I was.’

Conversation about his background and family is therefore a bit stilted. He was born in Aldershot and grew up the youngest of five siblings in Teddington (‘yes, those are the facts.’). His parents split not long after he was born, but he recalls a happy home. ‘We kissed a lot and hugged a lot,’ he says. ‘I mean, it wasn’t The Brady Bunch – we also f**king screamed and shouted a lot.’

They were creative, too, a ‘showy-offy family, no wallflowers’. He’s the only career actor, a path he was encouraged to follow, particularly by his mother, who never got the chance. ‘I was only met with support,’ he says. ‘I didn’t have to leave home, I wasn’t booted out. I know people who faced active hostility from their parents, because it’s so unsafe and it’s in the lap of the gods whether you’ll be able to feed yourself or not.’

These days, Freeman is certainly able to feed himself. Over the past 20 years, his talents have served him well. His big break came in The Office, the mockumentary cringeathon that also made household names of Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Mackenzie Crook. ‘I’m very proud of it,’ he says of the show that in 2004 became the first British sitcom to win a Golden Globe for Best Television Series – Comedy or Musical. ‘I still think it’s a phenomenal show. And I still think the central performance [Gervais’s] is one of the best things I’ve ever seen, let alone acted with. I could not have wanted a better break.’

The apocryphal stories surrounding the show are legion, but the one about him originally auditioning to play Gareth, Crook’s character and the butt of all the jokes, rather than Tim, is true. Gervais and his co-creator Merchant spotted something in Freeman audiences have come to know him by. ‘The Office is basically a room full of Laurels and one Hardy, which is Tim,’ Gervais once told The Sun. ‘Tim’s character is pretty common in comedy – that person who thinks they’re better than everyone else, but it doesn’t seem to get them anywhere.’

For a time, it seemed Freeman might suffer the same fate. He became known as the guy that did ‘that face’. He once appeared on Never Mind the Buzzcocks and was invited by host Simon Amstell to do a ‘sigh-off’ with Gavin & Stacey’s routinely put-upon Mathew Horne. Did he worry he’d never lose that tag? ‘Yeah, I was nervous about that,’ he admits. ‘The thing is, I can do that face. But that face, it’s Oliver Hardy’s face. Not my face. He did it 70 years before I did. That’s just me channelling Oliver Hardy.’ Gervais was right, then.

During the mid-2000s, he picked up roles in Love Actually and Hot Fuzz, and played the lead in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Then came Sherlock, The Hobbit, Fargo, the awards and a lot more public attention. ‘I was out last night, having a drink with a friend, walking around town. There are people following you around with camera phones in your face – it’s not pleasant.’

The public is never far from Freeman’s mind. He’s openly political, not exactly in a ‘Ladies and gentleman, the next President of the United States of America’ kind of way (we’ve established he’s not Hollywood – he doesn’t even own a home in the US), but he did front a party political broadcast for the Labour Party in 2015 and endorsed Jeremy Corbyn’s successful leadership bid later that year. A question about fairness opens the floodgates. ‘I do genuinely think this Government is f**king up. I really do,’ he says. ‘And that’s not to say that a Labour Government would be doing much better. But I think people are being hit genuinely really badly, who shouldn’t be. That’s why I’d happily vote for someone who’s going to tax me more.’

Pardon? ‘I think I should be taxed more. I’ve got more money than a lot of people. In my lifetime, there have always been homeless people. Now there’s even more. Food banks, and people being made homeless by not being able to afford their houses, and not enough social housing being made or built, and austerity on and on and on… I don’t know what we expect to happen, but if you’re doing that and cutting the police, what the f**k do you think is going to happen?’

‘We’re getting more polarised. The inability to see the other side is a problem. Social media has helped do away with nuance’

He’s only too conscious of the conflict in being a very wealthy movie star who thinks more should be done to support the disenfranchised. ‘I get it,’ he says. ‘I get why people say: “Who is this prick?” I get it. Most people aren’t as lucky as me. That’s just the truth. So I can see easily why it comes across as pontificating, why it comes across as being champagne socialist. Which is what we’re all called, as soon as you’re not on the dole. If you’re vaguely famous and say anything left wing, it’s a very easy stick to hit you with.’

That’s the natural framework of popular discourse, though, surely? A binary response is easiest. ‘But we’re getting more polarised,’ he retorts. ‘Definitely. The inability to see the other side is a problem. Unless someone is actually driving down your street in a Panzer, then I think you have to keep dialogue. Social media has helped do away with nuance. If me and you have a disagreement here, we can still have a cup of tea. But we do it on social media – then you’re a Nazi.

‘We can’t go on like that. I will easily say I think Trump is a vile pig, but I don’t think every single person who votes Republican is a vile pig. That would be crazy. And I certainly don’t think that about everyone who votes Conservative. It’s not my team. It’s not my party. But do I know Conservatives? Do I like ’em? ’Course I do. Can I not stand some Labour people? Yeah, I can’t stand some of them. So, my hope would be, genuinely, that we start to put our phones down for a minute, and actually not get involved in these f**king wars, which are so safe to have, and so self-righteous… It costs you nothing to be an armchair activist.’

In Ghost Stories the themes of guilt, good and bad and choice run through the piece, holding it together. In one particularly chilling scene, Freeman’s character utters the deliciously portentous line, ‘I didn’t believe in evil until that night…’ He was brought up a Catholic, but isn’t ‘card-carrying’ now. Does he think the film is a modern parable, a wake-up call to burst our secular bubble?

‘Maybe,’ he says reluctantly. ‘I’m one of the only people who I know in my world who isn’t an atheist. I like the questions. That’s where the interesting stuff happens. I’m equally uneasy with hardcore unquestioning atheists as I am with born-again Christians with their hands in the air and their eyes closed. In the same way that yes, I’m of the Left, but there are people and things about the Left that make me very uncomfortable. The sort of unquestioning, demonising of anyone who doesn’t agree with you, kind of thing. I see that in atheists – if you don’t agree with me, you’re intrinsically a moron. And that isn’t helpful. The older I get, the more I realise you need dialogue.’

This, it seems, is the real Freeman. Vocal, ardent, yet nuanced. But he’s not claiming the soapbox. ‘Let’s face it, I wasn’t a very good omen in 2015,’ he says of his virtual doorstepping days. ‘I don’t want my voice to be a political voice. I’m not some political genius. There’s one thing I’m good at, and it’s acting. I have absolute faith in my ability to do that.’

Like it or not, he has a voice. Thank goodness, it’s not the hashtaggable, awards-season friendly voice of many of his fellow actors. He’s more balanced than that. More open to argument. That’s what we saw – and loved – in Tim. In Lester. In Bilbo. In Freeman, we see life’s ambiguousness, its ludicrousness, its ordinariness.

Freeman has to go. He’s got ‘kiddy things’ to do. He’s an active father when he’s not working, and frankly, I’m holding him up. In a flash, he’s gone.

[dmellieon]

Now you see him: Martin Freeman

Words byROBIN SWITHINBANKPhotography byMATT HOLYOAKStyling byGARETH SCOURFIELD

Martin Freeman has been in some huge movies. But despite the successes and his undeniable talent, he's still not one of the first names in Hollywood. Thing is, he's okay with that. Really, actually, genuinely okay

It’s not the kind of thing you’d expect to hear a movie star say, at least, not one who has starred in some of the highest-grossing films of all time. ‘I’m not part of the Hollywood A-list,’ says Martin Freeman, shrugging his shoulders. ‘I’m genuinely not. No. Nowhere near.’

That might sound unduly modest, but the thing is, despite appearing as the titular figure in Peter Jackson’s $3bn Hobbit super-franchise; despite being part of Marvel’s universe (twice, most recently in Black Panther); despite appearing alongside the likes of Billy Bob Thornton (as Lester Nygaard in the Coen-brothers-inspired TV hit Fargo) and Benedict Cumberbatch (as Dr John Watson in Sherlock); and despite being an Emmy and BAFTA-award winning actor (both for Sherlock), he’s not.

‘For a lot of people, the Hobbit was played by Bilbo Baggins,’ he says, that familiar look of knowing resignation writ large across his face. Surely playing the heroic halfling has transformed his career and spun him into the red-carpet superstar galaxy? ‘I don’t know how many people after that thought: “Get me that guy.” I genuinely don’t know. It didn’t feel like it made a massive difference to me. Honest to God.’ Perhaps that will explain where he keeps those awards. ‘On my roof,’ he quips. ‘So people can see them.’

It’s tempting to cast Freeman as unhappy. There’s certainly a tension in him. In person, he’s courteous and engaged – he says words like ‘genuinely’ and ‘literally’ often and fervently – but there’s a sharpness to his opinions, and there’s plenty that riles him. That said, he seems at one with his lot. Mostly. ‘I will allow myself to be proud of that,’ he says of his awards, clearly trying not to big himself up. ‘I do alright. I do OK.’

Martin Freeman might have done some blockbusters in his time, but his first love is independent film. His latest vehicle is Ghost Stories, a proper spooky, throw-your-popcorn-in-the-air fright fest. It’s also an anthology – the fashionable format of our time – featuring the mercurial talents of Paul Whitehouse, Alex Lawther and Andy Nyman. Freeman appears in the third and final act as a wealthy city trader with a ghost problem no prominent psychiatrist has been able to explain. It’s a bleak piece, but it’s funny, too, particularly when Freeman’s natural comic talents are front and centre.

‘People are being hit badly. I’d happily vote for someone who’s going to tax me more’

It is also, for reasons that can’t be explained without spoiling the film, another reminder that the 46-year-old is one of our most versatile actors (‘To be a good comic actor means you’re a good actor, right?’). We spend 10 minutes discussing the film, which Nyman co-wrote and co-directed with Jeremy ‘League of Gentlemen’ Dyson, before it dawns on us that we can’t really talk about it. Not on paper, anyway. One salient detail gets the full treatment, before Freeman jumps in: ‘Don’t give that away, for f**k’s sake!’ he implores. ‘This is my first interview for the film and I’ve already f**ked it up…’

Freeman is not known for his candour. He doesn’t do a lot of interviews and he’s no self publicist (he’s not on social media), only letting it slip that he and Sherlock co-star Amanda Abbington had split after two kids and 16 years together in an interview with the FT a year after the event. Is he with anyone now? ‘Well,’ he says, folding his arms. ‘I would never tell you if I was.’

Conversation about his background and family is therefore a bit stilted. He was born in Aldershot and grew up the youngest of five siblings in Teddington (‘yes, those are the facts.’). His parents split not long after he was born, but he recalls a happy home. ‘We kissed a lot and hugged a lot,’ he says. ‘I mean, it wasn’t The Brady Bunch – we also f**king screamed and shouted a lot.’

They were creative, too, a ‘showy-offy family, no wallflowers’. He’s the only career actor, a path he was encouraged to follow, particularly by his mother, who never got the chance. ‘I was only met with support,’ he says. ‘I didn’t have to leave home, I wasn’t booted out. I know people who faced active hostility from their parents, because it’s so unsafe and it’s in the lap of the gods whether you’ll be able to feed yourself or not.’

These days, Freeman is certainly able to feed himself. Over the past 20 years, his talents have served him well. His big break came in The Office, the mockumentary cringeathon that also made household names of Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Mackenzie Crook. ‘I’m very proud of it,’ he says of the show that in 2004 became the first British sitcom to win a Golden Globe for Best Television Series – Comedy or Musical. ‘I still think it’s a phenomenal show. And I still think the central performance [Gervais’s] is one of the best things I’ve ever seen, let alone acted with. I could not have wanted a better break.’

The apocryphal stories surrounding the show are legion, but the one about him originally auditioning to play Gareth, Crook’s character and the butt of all the jokes, rather than Tim, is true. Gervais and his co-creator Merchant spotted something in Freeman audiences have come to know him by. ‘The Office is basically a room full of Laurels and one Hardy, which is Tim,’ Gervais once told The Sun. ‘Tim’s character is pretty common in comedy – that person who thinks they’re better than everyone else, but it doesn’t seem to get them anywhere.’

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Stone wool/silk/linen doublebreasted suit, £2,850, brown linen/cotton printed pocket square, £150, by Brunello Cucinelli; Blue cotton slim-fit shirt, £115, by Brooks Brothers; Navy linen textured tie, £135, by Drake’s

Navy checked wool and silk jacket, £595, by New & Lingwood; navy merino wool polo shirt, £150, by John Smedley; Le Vault acetate sunglasses, £330, by Lunetterie Generale

Brown linen jacket, £995, by Drake’s; White cotton slim fit shirt, £135, by Brooks Brothers; Navy wool suit trousers, £180, by Oscar Jacobson at Fenwick; Navy and blue cotton/silk striped tie, £125, by New and Lingwood; Green silk/cotton printed pocket square, £160, by Brunello Cucinelli

Stone wool/silk/linen doublebreasted suit, £2,850, brown linen/cotton printed pocket square, £150, by Brunello Cucinelli; Blue cotton slim-fit shirt, £115, by Brooks Brothers; Navy linen textured tie, £135, by Drake’s

Navy checked wool and silk jacket, £595, by New & Lingwood; navy merino wool polo shirt, £150, by John Smedley; Le Vault acetate sunglasses, £330, by Lunetterie Generale

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For a time, it seemed Freeman might suffer the same fate. He became known as the guy that did ‘that face’. He once appeared on Never Mind the Buzzcocksand was invited by host Simon Amstell to do a ‘sigh-off’ with Gavin & Stacey’s routinely put-upon Mathew Horne. Did he worry he’d never lose that tag? ‘Yeah, I was nervous about that,’ he admits. ‘The thing is, I can do that face. But that face, it’s Oliver Hardy’s face. Not my face. He did it 70 years before I did. That’s just me channelling Oliver Hardy.’ Gervais was right, then.

During the mid-2000s, he picked up roles in Love Actually and Hot Fuzz, and played the lead in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Then came Sherlock, The Hobbit, Fargo, the awards and a lot more public attention. ‘I was out last night, having a drink with a friend, walking around town. There are people following you around with camera phones in your face – it’s not pleasant.’

The public is never far from Freeman’s mind. He’s openly political, not exactly in a ‘Ladies and gentleman, the next President of the United States of America’ kind of way (we’ve established he’s not Hollywood – he doesn’t even own a home in the US), but he did front a party political broadcast for the Labour Party in 2015 and endorsed Jeremy Corbyn’s successful leadership bid later that year. A question about fairness opens the floodgates. ‘I do genuinely think this Government is f**king up. I really do,’ he says. ‘And that’s not to say that a Labour Government would be doing much better. But I think people are being hit genuinely really badly, who shouldn’t be. That’s why I’d happily vote for someone who’s going to tax me more.’

Pardon? ‘I think I should be taxed more. I’ve got more money than a lot of people. In my lifetime, there have always been homeless people. Now there’s even more. Food banks, and people being made homeless by not being able to afford their houses, and not enough social housing being made or built, and austerity on and on and on… I don’t know what we expect to happen, but if you’re doing that and cutting the police, what the f**k do you think is going to happen?’

‘We’re getting more polarised. The inability to see the other side is a problem. Social media has helped do away with nuance’

He’s only too conscious of the conflict in being a very wealthy movie star who thinks more should be done to support the disenfranchised. ‘I get it,’ he says. ‘I get why people say: “Who is this prick?” I get it. Most people aren’t as lucky as me. That’s just the truth. So I can see easily why it comes across as pontificating, why it comes across as being champagne socialist. Which is what we’re all called, as soon as you’re not on the dole. If you’re vaguely famous and say anything left wing, it’s a very easy stick to hit you with.’

That’s the natural framework of popular discourse, though, surely? A binary response is easiest. ‘But we’re getting more polarised,’ he retorts. ‘Definitely. The inability to see the other side is a problem. Unless someone is actually driving down your street in a Panzer, then I think you have to keep dialogue. Social media has helped do away with nuance. If me and you have a disagreement here, we can still have a cup of tea. But we do it on social media – then you’re a Nazi.

‘We can’t go on like that. I will easily say I think Trump is a vile pig, but I don’t think every single person who votes Republican is a vile pig. That would be crazy. And I certainly don’t think that about everyone who votes Conservative. It’s not my team. It’s not my party. But do I know Conservatives? Do I like ’em? ’Course I do. Can I not stand some Labour people? Yeah, I can’t stand some of them. So, my hope would be, genuinely, that we start to put our phones down for a minute, and actually not get involved in these f**king wars, which are so safe to have, and so self-righteous… It costs you nothing to be an armchair activist.’

In Ghost Stories the themes of guilt, good and bad and choice run through the piece, holding it together. In one particularly chilling scene, Freeman’s character utters the deliciously portentous line, ‘I didn’t believe in evil until that night…’ He was brought up a Catholic, but isn’t ‘card-carrying’ now. Does he think the film is a modern parable, a wake-up call to burst our secular bubble?

‘Maybe,’ he says reluctantly. ‘I’m one of the only people who I know in my world who isn’t an atheist. I like the questions. That’s where the interesting stuff happens. I’m equally uneasy with hardcore unquestioning atheists as I am with born-again Christians with their hands in the air and their eyes closed. In the same way that yes, I’m of the Left, but there are people and things about the Left that make me very uncomfortable. The sort of unquestioning, demonising of anyone who doesn’t agree with you, kind of thing. I see that in atheists – if you don’t agree with me, you’re intrinsically a moron. And that isn’t helpful. The older I get, the more I realise you need dialogue.’

This, it seems, is the real Freeman. Vocal, ardent, yet nuanced. But he’s not claiming the soapbox. ‘Let’s face it, I wasn’t a very good omen in 2015,’ he says of his virtual doorstepping days. ‘I don’t want my voice to be a political voice. I’m not some political genius. There’s one thing I’m good at, and it’s acting. I have absolute faith in my ability to do that.’

Like it or not, he has a voice. Thank goodness, it’s not the hashtaggable, awards-season friendly voice of many of his fellow actors. He’s more balanced than that. More open to argument. That’s what we saw – and loved – in Tim. In Lester. In Bilbo. In Freeman, we see life’s ambiguousness, its ludicrousness, its ordinariness.

Freeman has to go. He’s got ‘kiddy things’ to do. He’s an active father when he’s not working, and frankly, I’m holding him up. In a flash, he’s gone.

Ghost Stories is in cinemas on 6 April

Source:https://www.thejackalmagazine.com/martin-freeman-interview/