#tik tok people have no taste thats why

[methotrex8]

Someone tell matt rife he's the Jake Paul of stand up comedy

[katya45kg]

Weightloss tips u may not know about or do but don’t know the science behind them 🩷🫶🏻

1. After a 48hr fast your dopamine receptors reset. For example: a mars bar gives u a dopamine hit? Gone. Try eating fruit now, it will taste better, sweeter & its more healthy for u. - source “Fast like a girl by Dr Mindy Peltz”

2. The reasons why people can’t stop themselves from binging is because of sugar and flour. Eating those foods or food containing them MAKE u hungry. The best way to satisfy yourself after a meal is to cut those products out. I eat only fruits and vegetables and i find that after lets say 2 tomatoes or a banana, i feel satisfied. Some days all i eat is a piece of fruit for snack and a salad for dinner & im fine. - source “Bright line eating by Susan Peirce Thompson”

3. After 3 days of fasting, the hunger goes away. Push through it & you’ll notice it gets easier. When u break your fast ALWAYS do it with something healthy like fruits or vegetables. Going back to like ice cream will ruin the dopamine receptors and you will crave unhealthy foods again. - source I can’t remember but ive heard it heaps on YT videos & ive tried it and can vouch for that tip.

4. After 2mins of running or high intensity exercise, your body runs out of energy & begins to fuel you by producing cortisol to keep u going. High amounts of cortisol results in your body storing BELLY FAT. So if u happen to notice that u store belly fat mainly, that could be the reason. Source - Autumn Bates on YT (i forgot which vid but i think maybe it was a tik tok, sorry.)

5. Starvation mode is a myth. Look at prisoners of war for example. They are so emaciated due to lack of food, if “starvation mode” was true, they wouldn’t end up like that. Maybe u may not loose for a few days but that is your body holding water or possibly gaining muscle, if it prolongs further than this see my next tip. Source - i forgot im so sorry, possibly a podcast?

6. Your body has a natural rhythm known as the circadian rhythm. This in short like an internal clock that regulates our sleep-wake cycle and other bodily functions. It helps us feel awake during the day and sleepy at night. It's influenced by factors like light exposure, hormones, and daily routines. It means that your body doesn’t digest food the same at night, if at all. It isn’t supposed to. If u feed yourself after 6-8pm, the digestion process is slower, much slower. This can cause to hormones being released at the wrong time, storing fat, keeping u awake etc. It is best to not eat after 6pm (if u heard this tip from ur mother growing up, it is actually science backed, its not so u “eat less & that makes u loose weight” its because u stop eating after a certain time. It is actually because your body isn’t designed to digest food late in the night and so u loose fat easier.) Source - “Change your schedule, change your life by Dr Suhas Kshirsagar”

7. Birth-control whacks out your hormones. If u are on BC & find u have all these cravings & can’t seem to restrict, thats most likely the reason why. A lot of doctors will tell u “its just water weight” but thats not the case. The constant stream of synthetic hormones keeps your body in a state that similarly reflects how u feel the week before your period (bloated, craving, tired etc) and u feel this way continuously. Im not saying go off birth-control but if you are puzzled as to why u may feel like this & u are on BC this may be the reason. Source “Your brain on birth control by Sarah Hill”

8. Also on the topic of hormones, if u aren’t loosing weight no matter what u do or its very slow progress, it can be due to a hormonal imbalance. Exactly which one im not sure, it depends on you and your body. U can see which hormones are out of balance via online tests (idk what to google i read it in a book). Completing tests online can give u a rough idea of which hormones may be unbalanced and then u can go to your doctor and request certain tests to medically check. Your dr can then advise you on what to do to balance them. You may also have hyperthyroidism which can make u constantly tired, unable to loose weight and sensitive to stress. Source - “Hormone repair manual by Lara Briden”.

That is all i can think of rn. I have read all books i have sited & many many more. There is definitely a huge science to weight loss and i may make another post in the future stating what i have learnt. Most books are written by drs or people of similar qualifications. I applied all these to my life and loose weight continuously. My mother is also a certified nutritionist, personal trainer and life coach & she also follows all these things & has read the same if not more books. She is almost 50 & bmi 18.3 & has consistently been this way for my whole 21yrs of living even after having 3 kids. She doesn’t loose weight due to her high calorie intake (like 3k cals a day) but she also doesn’t gain weight so if u follow these examples by restricting u will see major weightloss. I also have lost 5kg in 8 days from following these tips this relapse & last relapse i lost 30kg in 4ish months from these tips.

[softtcurse]

Run

falling for her was easy, letting her go was so much harder

// inspired by the song ‘run’ by joji //

please note I do not condone any actions written down below. This is purely fiction. This fic contains talks of manipulation and mention of 18+ content, please do not interact if you’re a minor xx

//

I fell for your magic

I tasted your skin

And though this is tragic

At least I found the end

I witness your madness

You shed light on my sins

And if we share in this sadness

Then where have you been?

Infatuation never came easy for Jack. He often found himself finding a woman he genuinely liked more difficult that he thought. It wasn’t his playboy persona that made him not want a girlfriend, or the way he held himself up at a high standard that he knew the woman he was eventfully going to end up with was someone he loved and cared about because HE wanted to. Not because he felt like he needed to.

Infatuation never came easy for Jack. He often found himself finding a woman he genuinely liked more difficult that he thought. It wasn’t his playboy persona that made him not want a girlfriend, or the way he held himself up at a high standard that he knew the woman he was eventfully going to end up with was someone he loved and cared about because HE wanted to. Not because he felt like he needed to.

If you had told Jack that he would find himself encapsulated in the heart of a woman by the name of YN, he would laughed straight into your face.

You just had that effect on him.

The moment he met you, something clicked. The way you held yourself, the way you were laughing with your friends and radiating underneath the lights of the venue he was performing at. The entire night his eyes never left yours, and your eyes never left his. It was as if you were an enchantress eyeing your next victim, and in some way that made sense.

“Im Jack” The tall man introduced himself to you. All 6’3 of him sticking his hand out. You rolled your eyes playfully. Of course you knew who he was. His name postered all over the venue, your friend never stopping to ravage about him on your car ride to the concert, and not to mention the performance he had put on for everyone. The girls crying as he looked at them, some holding signs begging for his attention to them why could post tik toks of him.

“I know who you are” you laughed. Your hand shaking his. You saw a flash of something across his features. You couldn’t put your finger on it though. Even if you were really good at these types of things. Men introducing themselves to you wasn’t something new. However men that were Jack Harlow were. You watched as his infamous smile took over his grin. A genuine smile. And you almost felt bad knowing you couldn’t give him exactly what you thought- no, knew that he wanted from you.

“Do you?” He laughed. You nodded your head. Looking at him through your lashes with a shrug.

“Kind of hard to miss the crying girls and the signs that say ‘fuck me’” Jack shook his head at you. Watching as the people around you guys made their way over to the bar to grab some drinks. Your friends had long left your side and instead were sitting at a small section secluded from where Jack had initiated conversation with you. The previous energy replaced by a more chill one. Jack with his entourage networking. You with yours eyeing the place.

“Whats your name?” He leaned in to talk a little closer to your ear so you could hear him better. The smell of his cologne immediately hit your senses. You leaned back in to his ear to reply. If you had a hand up to his chest you were sure you would feel his heart palpitating because of you.

“YN”

“Beautiful name”

“I know”

Thats how it started. A round about with you. That night you two exchanged phone numbers, with his promise to you that he would text you as soon as he got back to the hotel. You had nodded, a kiss to his cheek and a hug. His warm hands resting on your waist as you both said your goodbyes for the night.

Jack went back to the hotel and all he could think about the entire night was you.

6 went by, you two continued to talk. A relationship started to form. Something along the lines of a friends with benefits but with a little twist, because Jack started to develop some emotions towards you that weren’t reciprocated. You didn’t exactly make your intentions very clear. You really didn’t feel like you needed to. But he had thought different when he had introduced you to his family. They absolutely loved you. You were so sweet to them and mingled with everyone. His mom had even started to show you pictures of him of when he was a baby, his younger self before any of the fame, before Jack Harlow became the musical anomaly he was.

His friends adored you. You were so chill and we’re always down to hang out with them. They would tease the both of you, say you were the next IT couple. Jack grinning and leaning back against his seat. A hand on your thigh and a proud smile on his face as he watched the way you shrugged and looked at him, placing a kiss on his lips and replying with a ‘maybe’.

Your body was a temple and your kissed were an addiction to him. He felt proud to have you by his side. To know that you were his, even if you of officially weren’t. Everytime you walked into a room he would be looking at you. His hands almost always finding your body to hold you close, almost as if he were to let go someone would snatch you up from him.

I know you're not in love

Like you used to be

Guess I'm not the one

Like you used to think

So you just run

I know that I'm stuck

In this misery

Guess I'm not enough

Like you used to think

So I'll just run

A month after he felt like he was on top of the world, it all came crashing down. His fall from his high was much harder than he imagined it would be. One slip up and you were ready to throw him away like he meant nothing to you. A Saturday morning you had found out Jack had been talking to one of his ex’s. It wants anything sexual by any means. But the fact that he didn’t tell you made you heat up. You felt embarrassed, you weren’t together. Nor did you plan on it. But you had such pride in you that the mere thought of him doing something so sneaky to you send you over the edge.

“Ma it wasn’t even anything like that stop overreacting” He watched as you paced his living room. Arms crossed and your cheeks heated up. His phone had been left unattended for a minute while he went in to the kitchen to grab you some water. You hadn’t seen him in two weeks so some make up sex was definitely needed. Three rounds later and some kisses and you let him go because you were thirsty and needed a little break.

The t shirt you were wearing was his. It smelled like him too which brought you only the slightest bit of confort. You didn’t know exactly why you were so upset at first. It wasn’t like you loved him. It was just you felt humiliated and you’d be damned if Jack Harlow would be the one to make you look stupid.

“It’s not anything? Do you realize that if you asked that woman to drop her fucking panties for you she would? I mean why don’t I just go talk to MY ex Jack? Why don’t I do the same thing you’re doing right now and then tell you it isn’t s big deal and see how you feel?” You sniffled. You paused your pacing to stand directly in front of him. Pride hurt, and a look that would’ve killed Jack if you had the power to do so.

“Baby don’t say that.” He softly said to you. Walking up to you and quickly tugging you into his arms. A kiss placed on the crown of your head. “You know I would never chose her over you. Never. I love you too much to do that to you. You know that right?” Jack asked you. You refused to look at him, wanting him to feel bad. More bad than you knew he already felt. His arms felt nice. The way his hands were gently rubbing up your back in some type of conciliation. His right hand lifted up your chin. To look at him, the most sincere look in his blue eyes. He looked sad. He looked like he was about drop down to his knees to apologize to you if that’s what you wanted. “You know that right? You know I wouldn’t do a fucking thing to hurt you ma…” He trailed.

You were so good at playing your role.

“You promise?”

“I promise, I would never lie to you.”

You bathe in your victory

You blew out on my fuse

And if I took on the planet

Will I pay my dues?

Your love was a mystery

Yeah my love is a fool

And I traveled the country

Just to get to you

You never told him you loved him. He knew that much, he knew you wouldn’t. At first he thought maybe you needed time. After all he only said it so quickly to you because he meant what he was saying. He didn’t want you walking around saying something you didn’t mean to him.

But after a while it left a sour taste in his mouth everytime you didn’t say it back. You both shared intimate moments together, rather quickly too. You confided in him with somethings that you didn’t think you would be vulnerable with him about but you did. Maybe that was your first mistake. That wasn’t what you wanted initially. You wanted fun, messing with a rapper would do it for you. Jack was the hottest in the game and you felt like you wanted a glimpse into that life style. It was fun, really fun. Jack’s company was refreshing. From the sex, down to even speaking to him. Kissing up on him, even the littlest things as him always opening the door for you.

“Im leaving Jack”

“You’re leaving?”

You watched as he stared you down. Two bags next to your leg as you awaited his arrival from his outing with Urban and PG in general. You had decided to stay back to get all your thoughts together, the mere excuse that you just weren’t feeling up to it. But in reality you were just figuring out a way to tell him, and finally end things for good.

“Yes, leaving”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He dropped his keys onto a key bowl next to the front door. His shirt rising up as he ran a hand through his hair. A sigh leaving his lips. He took one deep breath and looked at you again. This was a cycle with you he felt. Days were either good or arguments. Because you didn’t like somethings he was doing, and he didn’t want to make you feel disrespected in any type of way. Or because you were being distant and he didn’t like that.

“Why? Why are you leaving YN? Please humor me and tell me what you could possibly be upset for now. I left and everything was fine. Did I leave the temperature too low for you? Was a pillow misplaced? What?” He seemed irritated off the jump. Even if it wasn’t suppose to come off that way it did. His heart ached for you, he genuinely cared about you. Even had an interview where he admitted that he got a little piece of what loved felt like because of you. After years of denying ever being in love. You were the person that did it for him. Only for you to snatch it up from him.

“You’re so funny” you sarcastically laughed and stood up. “I’m going to see my family. Im moving back to Atlanta for good.” You said.

“Why?”

“Because Im done with this shit Jack, I’m over it” You laugh coldly at him. The hit of pain that hit his pain wasn’t enough to stop you. Jack Harlow wasn’t someone you could truly ever find yourself loving. You weren’t even sure he was capable of being faithful to you. So why would you even toy with the idea that you wouldn’t be one of those women that ended up being baby mama’s to these rappers?

“YN, Im so confused” His voice cracked a little bit. Usually with the two of you it was a minor argument that ended up with him fucking you in every square inch of his home. You would love on him and then get up to make him something to eat. It felt so domestic and maybe it was him wanting to feel something, anything. But with you it felt different.

“Don’t be, I’m not coming back.” You ended, or at least tried to end the conversation there. Figuring he couldn’t want you in his home. You grabbed both of your suit cases and rolled your eyes. Wheeling one of them to the door behind you.

“I did everything for you”

“I never asked you to”

A slight pause.

“I didn’t think I needed to”

You turned around and raised an eyebrow at him. His he was clenched. Truly you could tell he was holding back throwing some shit against the wall. Each word you said to him hit deeper. He consoled you in times where you and your mom argued on the phone, he bought you things not because he felt like he had to but because he felt like as someone who wanted to be with you he should show you acts like these even if you didn’t ask for them. It was cold blooded if you to lead him on this way. Because maybe just maybe he couldn’t saved himself a little heartbreak earlier.

“Why now? Why didn’t you do this shit before I brought you to meet my parents? Before I let you meet my friends and join my circle? Before I was talking about you in interviews like I actually meant something to you?” Jack turned around and watched you. Your weight shifted on one leg. A purse of your lips and you shrugged.

“Sometimes I need a little adventure in my life I guess. This was very fun Jack. I enjoyed our company together and I got a little taste of what so many women crave. But this isn’t for me.”

Your phone pings signaling that your Uber was outside waiting for you. Long ride to the airport awaited you.

“Bye”

“I loved you”

Jack was left with silence and one last look, before you took off with his every emotion on your sleeve.

The door clicked closed and it would be a while before Jack Harlow ever saw you again.

I know you're not in love

Like you used to be

I guess I'm not the one

Like you used to think

So you just run

I know that I'm stuck

In this misery

Guess I'm not enough

Like you used to think

So I'll just run

I know you're not in love

I know you're not in love

I know you're not in love

[tj-shmt]

A Day of Curation

Unless its Wednesday, it should be around 11am right now when i get up. First things first, put in my headphones and go get some good music! Its Monday - time to listen to my Discover Weekly playlist, which Spotify usually tailors perfectly to my tastes.

1. 🎶 SPOTIFY 🎶

Fun fact - this weeks "Discover Weekly" suggs. Usually I get the best music from there. I don't really recall the last time any of my friends really showed a song I didn't already know or was adequately good. Tho, I have to give Amelie some credit here, she constanly hits me with great Spanish tunes. (Also to Jasi and Safae which hit me up with some dope music from time to time) I mostly get inspiration from (sad to say but its true) tik tok or by randomly shazaming the world. I also really hate to limit myslfe to music i understand. On the contrary I LOVE LOVE LOVE music arround the world. Trust me i hear Tibetian Throat Singing to Russian Electro and even Islandic and Nativ American Tribal Music. To give you an impression of how important music consumption is for me:

Last Year i spent a total of 210 441 minutes on spotify alone. That is about 9 Hours a day. The average person uses Spotify for about 18 000 minutes a year. (My friend took the freedom to calculate how much money Spotify "looses" by my consumption. i pay $30 a year an Spotify gives $0,004891 per stream to the creator. An average of 3 minutes per song (70.000 streams) means spotify pays $342.37 to the creators. Thats $312.37 of deficit LOL)

Apart form that i cant really give Spotify a certain schedule when i listen to it cuz i listen to it all the time. During gaming, during coding, laundry, gym, work, class, before sleep. ✨Always✨

2. 💬 WhatsApp 💬

There is nothing better than sleeping for an eternity while everyone is already awake for probably 4 or more hours, working! *laughs in privileged design student* Since everyone is already living its live while I still drool, I gotta get up to date in the morning. Before i even leave bed, i checke my messages there. Similar to Spotify, I use WhatsApp the whole day and can't really tell when I would not use it. Except, my phone is always on silent (casual zennial phone call phobia) meaning i wont notice anything while zoning out or gaming (which usualy is the same).

3. 👨‍🏫 TEAMS 👩‍🏫

Yeah Yeah i can already hear it. "You wake up 5 minutes before class withouth breakfast or anything..." - bla bla bla. Yeah that is the case! I would usuly go on teams and enter the classroom, while preparing a breakfast (if you can call it breakfast after 12) sit down at my desk and listen to class. Causally everything that is too theoretical with music and whatsapp. Other classes that are interesting I`ll put my full attention to it.

But i hate teams in gerneral. Not cuz its sh**, no, usualy people that do their clases there have a weird way of using it. Finding material or looking up homeworks is such a struggle sometimes. (Props to you Kevin here, I have never seen anybody using teams in such a clean and struktured way than you do. Even tho you dont neccesarily use it as it was meant to be. (which might be the turning point on why its great))

4. 📺 YouTube 📺

Yup YouTube is usually the place to go after (sometimes during (I NEVER SAID THAT!)) class.

Actually, YouTube is the place to go for me. Relaxation, Entertainment, knowledge - anything! After class I'd usually watch "Cut" or other channels that produce let's plays or entertainment of some sort.

But it's also THE place to go during coding. I rather listen to Lofi or (Slowed, Reverbed) Music that doesnt really distract me. ALSO, during coding watch A SH*TLOAD OF TUTORIALS, cuz I am proud selftaught Zennial. #BestOfBothWorlds

5. 👨‍🍳 CHEFKOCH 👨‍🍳

I love to try new things and I constantly stalk the web for new recipes. Lately a lot of Asian and Vegan stuff. Chefkoch is the app to go where i also write down my own recipes to have them with me all the time. Great thing here is, i share this account with all my family members (currently 13, including my mom, aunts, other relatives). Great way to share the secret family recipes at any time!

(Cant recommend the recipe in the img, tho!)

6.🏐 ADDIDAS TRAINING🏐

Unlike all my sporty friends that used to hit the gym before covid and not got lazy, I started to use Training Apps like Addidas Training with its free Workout plans. I use it regularly and am happy i finally found a way to stay sporty.

7. ⌨️ VS CODE ⌨️

Its either Visual Studio Code, where I would code on my current project, or gaming. As mentioned above, I would get most of the inspiration from tutorials or using dev tools on different platforms.

8. 🎤 DISCORD 🎮

I´ll use Discord as a general term for Gaming since I play a lot but many different games, tho, always use discord to communicate with my freinds while gaming.

A great place to share random BS with friends and talk about anything that comes to my mind. I spent most of the evenings on Discord with my friends. Always did, in fact. Maybe the reason why I don't really feel so affected by the pandemic. I am used to being separated from my friends since they live all over Germany or the world in general. I always enjoy Online Live Events WITH my friends.

For me the web as always been a "with" not an "alone", which is why I never understand why so may struggle with feeling "alone" on live events online. JUST GRAB A FRIEND AND DISCOVER IT ✨TOGETHER✨!

9. 📼 DISNEY+ / NETFLIX 📼

Since I use both the same amount there is not thos or that. I never Really let anybody recommend me anything, cuz ... trust me, I WON'T watch it. IDK why that is, but I need a specific mood for each show. And nobody but myself can provide that. Probably why most ove the algorithms (esp Netflix) do not have an effect on me. I'm not in the mood for your ****, sorry!

Never the less, i periodically Binge a Series and then feel empty after it ended. Then i need some time to face reality again.

Funny tho, I binged Starwars Rebels on Disney+ and after it ended i just decide to buy 4 books on amazon that expand the story to starwars (#nerd i know). I will spend the next few months reading and probably not watching anything on both Streaming services.

10. 🤤 TIKTOK 🌈

... YUP.... I grew up with vine ... but TikTok got me. And honestly I don't regret it. It's the perfect algorithm that constantly finds the best videos that feed my thirsty queer ass. I mean ...

LOOK AT THE IMG ABOVE. YES, give me more....!

Its prolly not good for my digital wellbeing or my mental health but do I care at the moment..? noooooo...

Just give me more of Starwars Parodies, Sleepwalkers, Best off's of streamers, Queer content (cuz its time this heteronormativity world is fed with it! and no i do not indentify as anyting, im just the + at the very far end!) and yeah, even some sexy content if the creator feels good about it.

AND DONT YOU GIVE ME THAT SIDE EYE OF JUDGEMENT HERE - WE ALL THIRST FROM TIME TO TIME!

TOODLES!

[umikawa]

can i please get some fluff with inarizaki (suna, aran, the twins or kita) and terushima having an autistic trans male s/o? like just how they would interact with him or help him deal with his sensory issues or what they think of his special interests etc stuff like that. sorry if this isnt specific enough and sorry if thats too many characters, again i tried looking for some specific rules on it but there werent any. if thats too many characters could i just get kita and terushima?

Hi! I’m sorry I never specified anything in my rules I get requests every blue moon so I never thought to update it. I just did though so technically yours still fits perfectly fine!

Also I’ve never written anything like this before so please correct me if I did anything wrong, I’d hate to not fulfill your request 😞 but I didn’t really mention a gender in this.. I hope you don’t mind.

OSAMU

He’ll work out some new recipes that cater towards your tasting, he’ll stray far from anything you aren’t familiar or comfortable with.

If you need something stronger he won’t hesitate at all to come up with something, at this rate he’s all the more comfortable being your personal chef along with your boyfriend. 

The absolute sweetest when it comes down to food testing. Has a trash bin, water, your favorite drink, and plenty of napkins just in case. Won’t take it to heart if you don’t like something. 

ATSUMU

He’s a touchy person, it could be because he’s touch starved or overly-affectionate.

He didn’t realize you were sensitive to touch when he first wants to hug you, feels horrible when you flinch away from him. 

He’ll learn to ask before touching you, whether it be a hug, wrapping his arm around your waist, or just holding your hand.

KITA

Being someone who plays in a gym filled with cheering people- he understood why you wore earplugs, but only by surface level. 

Once you tell him you’re sensitive to sound, he’ll start carrying around extra earplugs. He’d even buy headphones for you, (most likely would tell you they’re old ones he never used but you see the receipt sticking out of his pocket.)

When you’re in a setting where it’s loud, he would either lead you away to a more quiet area and ask if you’re okay with being there.

TERUSHIMA

This man, aw this man probably bathes in axe body spray. BUT, I promise he stops wearing it when he meets you.

 He switches to a non-fragrant laundry detergent and softener, or at least wears a scent that isn’t overbearing. 

It isn’t a drastic change but he likes that he can hold you super close to him instead of practically being on opposite ends when you two are together. 

ARAN

He was a little confused at first when you started tensing up when he was holding you in his lap, though it made sense to him when you said you couldn’t necessarily feel his touch that much.

If you’re fine with it, he’ll start full on bear-hugging you whenever he sees you and he’ll starfish on top of you when cuddling. 

He tries his best to make you feel comfortable in your own space so he isn’t pushy but, he’ll start feeling a sense of clinginess so he’ll work on it. 

SUNA

To be honest, I feel like even prior to being with you, Suna would already have black-out curtains. 

He’s sensitive to light too but maybe not on the same spectrum as you so if his room still isn’t dark enough, he’ll make a makeshift canopy or tent to go over his bed when you’re around. 

Owns several weighted blankets, when you’re not with him or using one, he does that old tik tok trend where they throw a weighted blanket over themselves, sends you a video after he’s recovered.

[espressogal]

https://detoxifying my brain

12:28 -- diary entry 

i havent done work in a while bc of the virus and classes becoming online so i finally sat down and wrote down all my assignments due and lectures coming up and read through the instructions and planned out how i’m gunna execute it and emailed my TA on areas i don’t understand so that at no point during this break will i have something due the next day and have anxiety bc idk where to start. also today started with a shit morning bc i went to work only to find out that my shift was cancelled and no one told me and so the cook made me a bacon and caramelized onion omelette and potatoes and i was happy after. also i made a soy latte. and then i took a bus home, got coffee for my dad otw, got yelled at by my parents later, and then isolated myself in my room. i’m rlly not taking shit from anyone today tbh. i also turned off my phone which rlly helps me get shit done. oh and we got groceries yesterday and i saw this recipe on tik tok where they boiled almond milk with natural oats and frozen fruits and i wanted to try that ever since bc it sounds so good so i got all the ingredients except soy instead of almond bc almond milk tastes like cardboard to me. ask me why i’m so obsessed with vegan food (tofu, chick peas, lentils, soy milk) when i’m not even vegan. like i used to hate the idea of being vegan but the food is actually bomb but at the same time i need meat once in a while so i can never fully convert. alsooo i took a myers briggs test today and got infp again which is kinda crazy bc sometime last year i was an enfp?? i think or an enfj but the year before i was an infp so clearly i went thru some identity crisis last year which is usually what happens during my first year of high school / uni like i just become so social and outgoing and then after that i stop giving a shit and just chill with a small group of friends, which btw have been pissing me off and i feel like i rlly dont have any real friends anymore. i did put my pride aside and reach out to some old friends including one that i ended on bad terms with and it was really nice tbh. i find it so hard to like people and idk why. i just feel like i’m meant to be alone in life. that way i wont bother anyone and no one will bother me. but ill have occasional interactions with people every now and then. i have absolutely no problem with being a cat lady and living alone (not lonely though). i feel so much peace when i’m by myself. idk why people hear that and feel bad for me like wow thats so terrible and depressing that you want to be alone all the time like no its not???? its not depressing at all actually and i feel like more ppl need to normalize that concept that being introverted does not equal being lonely and shy. and ppl need to stop trying to teach ppl how to be extroverted. why is that even a thing?? moreover why do people always confuse introversion with shyness and extroversion with being outgoing?? those are completely different things and it would be more understandable why you’d wana help a shy person become more outgoing but thats only because shy people often want a change but u cant take a person who genuinely and (in recent studies show) physiologically prefer being alone and just Make them enjoy parties and social events like u just cant do it. trust me i’ve tried. it all depends on the company and the scenario. going drinking with some close friends wearing pj’s sound soo much more fun that wearing a short dress and drinking at a club. also the weathers been so beautiful lately and i’m so fucking mad at this stupid virus like can u fuck off already. i rlly wanna go out and take walks and ride the train and go to downtown and explore the city by myself ugh. i wanna finish the secret history like i deadass have been reading that shit for a year omfg. i need to clean my room, do my laundry, and then try to get some work done?? then after that i’ll have the night to myself and maybe i can try to read then who knows ok bye