#tied with Lauren's character choices

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

The year is 2042. VHS Christmas Carols is now over 18 hours long and contains 22 different holiday stories told through 80s inspired bangers. Brian Holden is still playing Tiny Tim. He is 57 years old. The year is 2042.

[josiesaltzmanstyle]

This is the Part Where You Run, 1.01

Hello! This is my new sideblog/project/series where I go episode-by-episode in each episode of Legacies that Josie Saltzman appears in and talk about her style choices.

Though there are many blogs out there focused on character style, my initial inspiration was @bettycooperoutfitwatch​ so a huge shoutout and thank you to them! 

ShopYourTV was also hugely helpful, as it’s where I found more info about the majority of the pieces that were able to be tracked down, so thanks to them! I’ll be sure to mention these shout-outs in a pinned post soon, but for now, this will have to do. I’m not super well-versed in fashion terminology and how to go about finding things, and learning is part of the fun of this series. I really appreciate having this resource!

Onto the analysis!

Being my favorite character, of course I tend to pay the most attention to Josie’s style, but I also think that’s somewhat intentional within the show! While the other characters are by no means without their own sense of style or interesting outfits, Josie, in my humble opinion, often gets the most to talk about! Her style goes through quite a few changes each season, but there are staples and common motifs throughout! She’s also one of the characters that represents the most common day-to-day trends. (Nevermind that technically, Legacies takes place a decade or so past our current timeline.) 

Let’s get into it.

First Look

This is the most Buttoned Up (TM) we’ll see Josie in this episode, so I guess it’s apt it’s during her first appearance, when she’s trying to make a good impression while she and Lizzie give Rafael the school tour.

She and Lizzie aren��t exactly matching, but they’ve certainly coordinated their white undershirts, blue blazers, and preppy-yet-stylish ties that—ha—tie together their uniforms. 

I’m pretty certain that the blazer is this cotton Ralph Lauren number, marked at $195. I don’t plan to detail the cost of every item in this series, because that’s not often something being considered that heavily in the costuming departments of teen dramas (#suspend your disbelief), but I think it’s thematically relevant to mention here. Landon and Rafael are, of course, fairly shell-shocked by the news of a school for the Supernatural and one that’s for “troubled rich kids” to boot. Lizzie and Josie being in their preppiest get-ups here adds to that conflict, but we also see hints of Josie’s personality shining through as well. The ruffled collar of her shirt, for instance, will come back into play numerous times, as will various accessory components. While I can’t find the exact tie she swears here, based on her other accessories in season one, I feel confident it’s from ASOS. It’s striped between a dark and light shade of blue, easily mistaken as plain navy if not looking closely, and adds to her charmingly over-accessorized look here. Her pearl-hook Angara earrings (if I’m not mistaken, the original price is listed at $360) also add to the look. While I knew Kaylee Bryant had multiple piercings later on, I didn’t realize that was already true by 1.01! Along with her pearls, Josie also dons these yellow-gold bar earrings ($98), signifying an edge and sense of contemporary trends that might not be visible at first glance.

Her hair is also pulled back in a half-up, half-down look that is sure to show off her earrings. Josie’s being very purposeful in showing off what she perceives as the most sophisticated, polished version of herself.

Interestingly, though, whie it maintains a similar shape to the shape her outfit would have if she was wearing the Salvaotore School Skirt, she’s instead clad in what I’m pretty sure is this red zip-up J.Crew skirt. The bright red, while also a bolder choice than her school skirt, matches not only the S emblazoned on her jacket, but the tie Lizzie wears in the first shot, tying her to both the legacy (#pun intended) of the school and to her twin sister. (Note: I’m mostly going to focus on Josie for this series, but there are some relevant comparisons to be made. Lizzie opts for a pair of plaid pants during the day and while she doesn’t never wear skirts, she often seems to opt for pants and we see her in a fair few more jumpsuits than Josie as well. Skirts seem to be a little more Josie’s thing than her sister’s.)

It looks like it might be hemmed, but it’s also sitting fairly high on her. We’ll see high-waisted pieces that are a lot more visible on Josie later on.

I didn’t include a shot of them here because that way leads to blurriness, but she’s also wearing knee-high socks from ASOS (I can’t find the exact socks or the exact price, but I would guess anywhere from $6-17 based on current ASOS prices for similar products.)

While we don’t get a clear-enough shot of her shoes and I can’t seeem to find them anywhere, they’re very clearly black loafers. While I can’t be certain, I think it’s likely they’re from Aldo, as that brand seems to be a favorite for Josie’s shoes this season. Practical if a little stuffy, they go decently with the rest of her outfit, but don’t stick around as a staple of her wardrobe. I think the wardrobe department did really well showing us a lot about her character, but in the first few episodes, while everyone’s still getting a feel for the characters, there’s bound to be a few experimental picks that don’t get repeated. This was clearly one of them.

Look 1.5

It’s only when Josie approaches Alaric and Hope’s sparring session that we see the full blouse she wears underneath her blue blazer, a scoop-neck camisole visible underneath. Both her blouse and camisole are also tucked into her skirt, another common theme in Josie’s style. (Also: lots of layers for what I imagine is late summer/early fall. Did the school year just start? If so, she totally got hot and took her jacket off. Queen of being relatable. <3.) While I don’t think it’s the exact same top, it’s reminiscent of this high-neck ruffled Neiman Marcus blouse. The shape, sleeves, and translucent lace paneling are all spot-on. Not to mention that this brand totally goes in her preppy-girl wheelhouse. However, Josie’s ruffled sleeves seem to hang lower, the hem of her sleeve doesn’t go across her chest, and her neckline seems more ruffled. I couldn’t find the exact top she wears, but this was the best approximation. There’s a LOT going on with it.

(Note: I have a love-hate relationship with this whole outfit. It’s so meticulously put-together and also has WAY too much going on, imho, while striking for a classic look. We love that for her, though. The whole vibe is that she’s... put-together and clearly has a good sense of style, but she’s also trying a little too hard? Makes a lot of sense for her character at this moment in time.)

Look 2

The perfect fit for jail-breaking a new acquaintance from the local werewolf transition space! 

The party at the Old Mill happens on the same school-day that Josie and Lizzie were giving Rafael his tour, but after dark. Which means she changed into this blue polo with a yellow collar and, of course, the matching yellow Salvatore S—but she also pairs it with her blue-black plaid school uniform skirt. For a party. What a dork. I love her. (It’s especially funny that she had to change out of her day-skirt and into the plaid to accomplish this. Makes me wonder if it was in the wash or something.)

It manages to still be preppy (it is a polo, after all), but there’s a light-heartedness and simplicity to it that isn’t there in her day-outfit. I wish I had the receipts, but I can’t find the polo anywhere (as every scene she wears it in is so dark), I’m pretty sure the uniform skirts were custom-made for the show, and there are no good shots of her shoes (though I imagine she’s still in the loafers from the day). Shame upon my household.

Even so, it’s fun for me to take note that as much as she tries dress down a bit for the party (and wear less layers so she can get some of that sweet late summer breeeeze), she’s still wearing a nice shirt, her school uniform skirt, and her hair is still all done up from earlier. There’s a slight awkwardness to her character at times that doesn’t come from how she talks or her facial expressions, but the way she carries herself and the way she often dresses just a shade too formal for where she actually is. (But would we expect anything less from one of Caroline Forbes’ daughters?)

The next day, Josie’s wearing this mustard-yellow Modcloth sweater. It’s a classic look and the Peter Pan collar will reappear quite a bit in season one (and the rest of the series, to an extent). She wears it neatly tucked into her school skirt, black tights layered underneath (interesting - she didn’t wear tights with either of the previous day’s outfits), and I think we’re meant to assume that another day of classes has passed considering that it’s dark out by the time of the meeting and she’s clearly dressed for a day of school.

Once again, she’s got the Salvatore S added onto her sweater, and the edge of the collar is scalloped and lined with black stitching. It’s really fine detail work that adds a lot of personality to what’s otherwise a very classic piece.

Though I think I subsonciously already knew this, I was surprised to be reminded that the collar actually goes all the way around to the back. My perception of most shirts that come with a collar attached (rather than shirts that are accessorized with one) is that they are an illusion and I was pleasantly surprised, as I think it extending all the way around adds a maturity and depth to the sweater that I quite like.

Josie’s wearing different earrings from the day before, but unfortunately, they’re not listed anywhere that I can find, nor was I was able to track them down via reversing the images. So description will have to do! They seem to be (maybe a somewhat muted?) yellow-gold tone in color, and I would bet they’re plated with real gold. Highest on her right ear is a two-armed cuff that I don’t think is actually pierced, sitting several inches below it is a gold bar, right underneath that is a gold stud, and underneath that is a small gold hoop—possibly accentuated with rhinestones, but it’s difficult to tell. It’s unclear whether her other ear is similarly adorned because of lighting, angles, and the way her hair falls. Regardless, I love this look! I think focusing on the accessories on top and letting the sweater speak for itself here nails something that yesterday’s school tour look just didn’t. There’s a lot going on with her ear accesories, but it all feels very her, and doesn’t distract from or confuse the other pieces.

Sleeves! Needless to say, they match her collar, though both are individually sewn to the sweater - there’s not a full undershirt sewn into it. 

I really love this sweater, can you tell?

Unfortunately, the sold-out page for the shoes Josie’s wearing doesn’t show the prodcut, so I’m just linking to the Shop Your TV page. The chunky yellow platform heels she wears are a lot more stylish than her loafers from earlier, but they’re still a somewhat sensible choice that tells us a lot about her character. They’re hard to see, but this is the best shot of them. The heel isn’t particularly tall, the platform is very wide and better to lean one’s weight on than, say, a stilletto, the toe is closed, and the strap around the ankle with a metallic buckle adds an extra bit of support. They’re fashionable and well-coordinated with her outfit, but still show her to be a more reserved, cautious person.

And there we have it! That’s every outfit Josie wears in this first episode. I’ll definitely have more interesting things to say about her style as the show goes on, but I think this first episode does a great job of establishing her character.

Number of Outfits: I would say this is really just 3 outfits total, but the school tour outfit minus the blazer definitely stands out on its own, too.

Favorite Piece: Yellow Modcloth sweater all the way! I love the collar, the stitching, the color. It’s very quintessentially Josie, and what I imagine when I think of her in season one. Here’s her gif in reward! A Moment (TM) for Josie fashion.

Thanks for reading thus far! This is a passion project and definitely on the back-burner, so I don’t totally know when I’ll be uploading next, but I’m excited to continue it! If you have knowledge on any pieces that I couldn’t find the links for, please feel free to reach out and let me know! I would love to edit this post to be more complete, and I would happily give you credit. Bye for now!

[semper-legens]

129. Divine Madness, by Robert Muchamore

Owned: No, library Page count: 360 My summary: James, Lauren, and Dana are on their most dangerous mission yet - to infiltrate a religious cult suspected of hoarding weapons and hosting terrorists. They'll need to play the role of brainwashed little cultists, believing they are 'angels' in a world full of 'devils', the only ones who will be saved when the Rapture comes. But there's more at play under the surface here. And soon they'll find themselves in more danger than they could have anticipated... My rating: 3/5 My commentary:

Of all the CHERUB books, this is the one I was most looking forward to rereading. I don't know what it says about me that I've always been interested in cults and reading about cults, both real and fictional, but that's how it is! I remember that this was one of my favourites when I was a kid, so I was very interested to read it again as an adult, give it a fresh pair of eyes. After all, I know a lot more about real-life religious cults these days than I used to. And how did it hold up? …weirdly.

I'm gonna preface this by saying that it's gonna seem like a lot of complaining about this book down here under the cut. I had some very serious misgivings about it, but I did ultimately enjoy it and recognise what it was trying to do. That said, the misgivings are what I want to discuss. First…I know I've spoken before about the copaganda (or, I suppose, military propaganda) present in these books. So far, this is the worst one for being hypocritical and seemingly not even realising it. At one point, an explicit comparison is drawn between CHERUB as an organisation and the cult in the book. The difference, the kids say indignantly, is that everyone in CHERUB knows what they're getting into, and has the ability to pull out if they need to. They can turn down missions, they have agency.

Which…earlier in the book a mission controller proudly makes the point that no CHERUB ever turns down a mission, and the kids point out that if you refuse a high-profile mission, you'll basically be doing baby jobs through your whole career. There absolutely is pressure on these kids to do dangerous stuff, and the process of recruiting smart, fit kids with no family ties is more than a little shady. Not to mention that CHERUB kids younger than ten are brought up in CHERUB and taught with the expectation that they'd enter the hell that is basic training as soon as they can. Eve, the cult teen, makes a decision at the end to do a terrorism after all and winds up dead because of it, and that's a tragedy. There isn't a lot of difference between her and the CHERUB kids though. They, also, go through with the missions at all costs, and think they're acting for the greater good. But the book doesn't seem to want to explore any of these ideas. CHERUB isn't a cult. CHERUB is a good organisation fighting the bad guys.

My other main issue was Dana. James and Lauren are joined on this mission by Dana, a slightly older mouthy Australian girl who has been mentioned before, but never really shown up. She…really doesn't get a lot of character development in the earlier parts of this book. It's the James and Lauren show - James is the one who gets them an in to the cult compound they're trying to infiltrate, Lauren gets in with important kids, while Dana just kind of exists. True, later she plays a bigger role, but you'd think that if a new character is joining the cast then the narrative would spend some time with her so we can get to know her. She's just standoffish and grumpy through the start of the book, and like, that's all there is to her. It's just a weird choice.

But yeah, I do have to give this book some credit for how it handles its subject matter. None of the cult people are really portrayed as being inherently evil, a lot of them are obviously misguided or brainwashed. The climax, in which the government comes in to crack down on the compound and meets a lot of armed resistance, is wildly reminiscent of the Waco siege. The military and police ignore the mission controller's intelligence that there are armed people inside the compound, and that leads to devastation as the cult, convinced that the 'devils' are coming for them, respond by blowing up most of the compound. And everyone inside it. James and Lauren are caught in the crossfire, trying their best to get out. Initially, James is against taking all the kids that have been sheltering in the same room with them, but Lauren insists - and good thing too, because when the bombs blow, the room they were in is obliterated. That gets her the black shirt, the highest CHERUB rank. But it's also a really sympathetic situation - I don't think the cult members (outside of the higher ups) are ever really demonised for what happens, it's more just a tragedy that they've been brainwashed into thinking they know what's right, and then the police agitate the situation until people die. It's horrible, but it's sadly realistic.

Next up, a graphic novel, and a young girl changes her identity to help her family.

[kilosch]

Journal Entry 10/30/2024

Starting the Day with Teamlet 2’s Deep Dive Meeting Today began like a typical workday at 8 a.m., tuning into the Teamlet 2 deep dive meeting while I got dressed, grabbed breakfast, and took my coffee on the go. The meeting was still going when I headed out for my drive to DTLA—the usual L.A. traffic but chill enough, and I had my headphones on for the tail end of the meeting since my car speaker’s still busted.

Halloween Costumes and OT Team Vibes Once I parked, I saw Stephanie, the OT Director, in this bright costume. I was baffled and asked, “What the hell are you wearing, ma’am?” She shot back with a spooky grin and said, “Come play with us…” Turns out, she was dressed as a character from The Shining. I haven’t seen the movie, so I just went along with it. I helped her carry food for the OT team to her cubicle and noticed she didn’t have her ID badge. I asked, “How the heck do you plan to get in all day?” She shrugged and said she’d be camping out inside.

Vaccine Queue and DHS Catch-Up After settling in at my cubicle, I worked on some backlogged tasks before heading downstairs to get my flu and COVID shots. The line was packed, so I ended up waiting 30 minutes. I saw some familiar faces from our agency and even ran into Dr. Heidi, the Medical Director of IHOP. She gave me a hug and a pep talk, asking how I was doing—she’s aware of some of my personal challenges, which is honestly reassuring.

Lauren, the OT supervisor, showed up in line behind me, and we kept in touch by text while she attended a meeting. When it was finally my turn, I asked the nurse if it mattered which arm got which shot. She mentioned that COVID can make your arm sore, so I got the COVID shot in my left and flu shot in my right. Surprisingly, I felt fine for hours while others talked about headaches and muscle pain. Maybe it’s the caffeine and dehydration masking it.

Medication Pick-Up and Road Rage Drama Later, I drove to LA General to pick up meds for a client. Valet took forever and ended up losing my ticket, so I had to point out my car. The drive to my client’s location was short, but when I got there, neither the client nor their case manager was around. I dropped the meds off with security, then dealt with a road rage incident on the way back. Some guy backed out of his parking spot into the middle of an intersection, blocking my lane. After honking, he flipped me off, and I let him have it, shouting, “HEY, READ A DMV MANUAL NEXT TIME, MOTHERF---!” He fired back, but I sped off—wasn’t worth more drama.

OT Costumes and Quick Catch-Ups Back at the office, more OTs were in costume. I noticed Nessa and Adam weren’t dressed up, but it’s their choice. I stopped by Nessa’s cubicle to clarify a referral message, and we kept it light. She looked tired and said she’s ready for her upcoming break. She’s heading to New York to see her sister, and I hope she gets a true break without me dumping any of my stuff on her.

One-on-One Meeting with Vanessa I met with Vanessa to go over referral management and upcoming changes. We’ll be streamlining certain processes, which should make things smoother. Wrapped up the day at the office, drove home, then joined the 3:45 p.m. meeting from my computer to close out work tasks for the day.

World Series Game 5: Dodgers Clinch the Title Game 5 was a roller coaster. Dodgers were down 0-5, but we rallied and tied the game thanks to Yankee errors. By the 9th inning, we were hanging on with a 7-6 lead, and Walker Buehler closed it out with three straight strikeouts. Nate FaceTimed me for the final out—we watched the Dodgers make it official: World Series Champions! The whole city went nuts with fireworks, and texts poured in, including one from Lauren: “F--- YEAH!”

Freddie Freeman took World Series MVP after making history in Game 1 with that walk-off grand slam. There’s going to be a parade, and I’ll probably go since it’s only a 20-minute walk from the office.

Reflections and Final Thoughts Today felt great. I didn’t feel any depression creeping in, maybe because of the good vibes and the Dodgers’ win. Both arms are a bit sore from the vaccines, but it’s manageable. Ready for tomorrow!

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

You Can Die by Rebecca Zanetti

Laurel Snow Thriller #3

Dark, gritty, gripping, and gruesome serial killer on the loose ~ Could not put it down.

What I liked: * Laurel: FBI Violent Crimes head in located in Genesis Valley, Washington, intelligent, eidetic memory,  has trouble reading emotions, verbally direct, honest, likes things spelled out, concrete thinker, doesn’t experience emotions as others do, from a loving family, in business with her mother, in a relationship with Huck * Huck: ex-military sniper, Captain in Fish & Wildlife, overlaps working with FBI and local police force, lethal abilities, loner, has PTSD, protective, good friend, protective, patient, in a relationship with Laurel and knows what he wants * Aeneas: Karelian Bear Dog, owned by and works with Huck, bear chaser, works in search and rescue missions, also might act a bit like a support dog

* Fred: Laurel’s rescue cat * The new development in the relationship between Lauren and Huck * Remembering and revisiting the characters from the previous book…at least the ones I liked * The plot, pacing, setting, and writing * That the serial killer was not immediately obvious * The twists, turns, and red herrings * The hints about the future and problems that might arise from Abigail Cain – Laurel’s half-sister, Rachel Raprenzi – reporter and Huck’s ex-fiancé, and Zeke Cain – biological father of Abigail and Laurel, and Jason Abbott – serial killer from previous book in the series * All of it really except… What I didn’t like: * Who and what I was meant not to like * Having to wait for the next book to be written so that I can find out what happens next Did I enjoy this book? Yes Would I read more in this series? Definitely Thank you to NetGalley and Kensington – Zebra for the ARC – This is my honest review. 5 Stars

BLURB

It's an especially deadly winter in the Pacific Northwest, as rising star FBI profiler Laurel Snow hunts down a serial killer with a chillingly bitter M.O., in New York Times bestselling author Rebecca Zanetti's edgy thriller . . . Men are dying in the Pacific Northwest, their bodies found near churches, charities, and counseling centers--each with valentine candy hearts shoved down their throats. They're good men with families and community ties--or so they seem until Laurel Snow and her team begin to investigate. Then the case takes a shockingly personal turn when the father she's never met, a former pastor, turns up among the dead. Now, besides solving her father's murder, Laurel is on the hunt to discover the truth of his past. Complicating things is Laurel's troubled half-sister, Abigail, a brilliant sociopath determined to prove that they've both inherited their father's malignant narcissism. Assisting Laurel is Washington Fish and Wildlife Captain Huck Rivers, a dangerous loner whose reliance on gut instinct puts him at odds with Laurel's coolly analytic approach. But the choice may be moot when the killer hones in on Huck's own dark secrets--putting him and Laurel squarely in the crosshairs.

[troquantary]

Cutting Hair as Punishment in the Twilight Saga

Okay, I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts around this into a sort-of-essay format for a while, because I find it disturbingly mean-spirited: Meyer has a pattern of using hair-cutting as a form of punishment for characters, especially female characters, who fail to embrace Bella and the Cullens with open arms. I’m talking particularly about Leah and Lauren, both of whom, while not outright antagonists like Victoria or James, are situated along with Rosalie as “against” Bella throughout the series. The Quileute pack, meanwhile, is situated largely “against” the Cullens, meaning Jacob and the rest of the pack get the Haircut of Shame, too.

(Also, I’ve been creeping through @panlight ‘s blog because I thought she had a recent post relating to this -- I was probably thinking of this submission and her addendum, which does discuss Meyer’s “punishment” of certain characters, but that post was about characters suffering for not waiting for True Love, or daring to do the Devil’s Tango before marriage. Still, it’s on-theme and very much worth reading, like all her stuff!)

So here’s the general outline: first I’m gonna talk about the shapeshifters and how their overall lack of choice frames cutting their hair as something forced on them and therefore punitive. Then I’m going to discuss Meyer’s FAQ response where she reveals that Lauren was tricked into cutting off most of her hair over the summer before New Moon, and how this adds an extra fun misogynistic element to the hair-cutting theme with respect to Lauren and Leah. I also use way too many words to do it, sorry.

Punishment | The Shapeshifters Are Given No Other Option

I don’t have the background or knowledge to discuss the significance of long hair to indigenous culture and identity in detail, and my understanding is that different tribes ascribe different meanings to it. What I’ve read it about it suggests that, generally, long hair represents strength of one’s individual spirit and of the community. It’s a source of pride, and is only cut off voluntarily in extraordinary circumstances, often as an expression of grief, or to mark a significant life change.

This sort of works in the context of the shapeshifters all cutting their hair -- phasing into a giant wolf, discovering the existence of the supernatural, and assuming the role of protectors is a major life event for these characters. But the negative associations make it a troubling choice on Meyer’s part, and that’s without even getting into the problem of her imposing her own worldbuilding onto the legends and culture of a real tribe. Because of the lack of choice involved in becoming a shapeshifter, the whole situation feels like a scenario in which the Quileute characters have their hair forcibly cut -- a degrading and traumatic act that (depending on their particular tribal belief) might symbolically sever them from their sense of cultural identity and connection with the rest of their tribe.

It all kind of begs the question: why does Meyer even have shapeshifting work this way? What narrative utility is there in having the length of their hair in human form determine the length of their fur as wolves, thereby compelling the shapeshifters to cut it so it isn’t a physical impediment? It’s another sign of the changes in Jacob, sure, but he’s already being uncharacteristically cold and distant, plus suddenly has the physique of a fit twenty-five-year-old; Bella already knows something’s very wrong. His short hair is just another jarring thing for Bella to notice and mourn, like the loss of Jacob’s “baby face” and general sunniness.

It does work as a symbolic thing, representing another sacrifice Jacob has to make and the change in how he now has to perceive himself -- but he’s already got a literal giant wolf form to represent that change in identity/self-perception. Forcing him to cut his hair too just feels like piling on. My argument here, which I hope will be supported when I discuss Lauren and Leah further in, is that it’s not just piling on, but actively punitive -- because much like Leah and Lauren are “against” Bella, the pack at large is “against” the Cullens pretty much through the end of the series.

The Quileute pack is definitely not a Cullen fanclub. The entire purpose of their existence is to destroy vampires, and the truce they have with the Cullens isn’t friendly. They still don’t particularly like or trust the Cullens even after allying with them in Eclipse, and in Breaking Dawn Sam is fully prepared to go to war against them to enforce the treaty. Bella expresses frustration with Jacob and the pack for not appreciating the Cullens more, yet is curiously less willing to scold Alice, Edward, or Rosalie when they call the Quileutes dogs and complain about their smell. (I think she might reprimand Edward for it at some point, but I don’t remember the exact passage.) Bella even starts throwing around “dog” and “mutt” as an insult herself -- I think we know whose side ol’ “Switzerland” is on, here, and whose side Meyer is on as well. The Quileutes aren’t exactly enemies, and in fact are crucial to the Cullens’ survival in both the newborn and Volutri conflicts, but they’re punished nonetheless because they aren’t wholeheartedly Team Cullen from the get-go.

So to explain why I’m so convinced that there’s a link between hair-cutting and punishment in particular, let’s talk about Lauren. There’s a definite gendered element to it this time, too -- by being tricked into cutting her hair, Lauren isn’t just diminished/shamed, but rendered (*thunderclap*) unfeminine.

Lauren Was Rude To Bella Like Twice, Let’s Humiliate Her

I think Meyer’s answer to the question “What happened to Lauren’s hair?” on her FAQ page speaks for itself:

Ha ha. I had fun imagining this one��I only wished that it had fit into the book somewhere. Lauren fell victim to the “model discovered in the mall” scam. An alleged modeling agent approached Lauren in a mall in Victoria, B.C., and told her she was a natural model. Lauren ate it up. The agent told her that if she did something edgy with her hair, and took some high quality head shots, her future was assured. Lauren followed the instructions—dropping fifteen grand on the pictures taken by the agent’s partner—and waited for her career to begin. She’s still waiting. Snort.

It’s pretty obvious that this was done spitefully. Here’s the list of Lauren’s crimes against humanity Bella at this point in the series: 1) she was jealous of the attention Bella was getting as the new girl; 2) she talked behind Bella’s back once, saying Bella might as well just sit with the Cullens now (and she isn’t wrong); 3) she eyed Bella “scornfully” the day of the La Push beach trip; and perhaps most damningly, 4) she’s blonde.

Post-haircut, she has the gall not to be thrilled that Bella’s deigning to speak to the lowly non-Cullens again, then sides with Jessica after Bella uses Jessica to make a point to her dad, is shitty company, and then risks getting them both raped and murdered in Port Angeles so she could get off on her hallucination of Edward’s voice.

I think it’s pretty common knowledge that long hair is tied to patriarchal notions of femininity and attractiveness. Women with short hair are still derided for being ugly, or assumed to be lesbians in a derogatory sense, or simply considered less feminine and therefore less desirable/worthy (because a woman’s worth depends on her desirability, after all). For many women and girls, losing their long hair -- whether because of illness, or gum getting stuck in it, or whatever -- is very upsetting and a hard blow to their self-esteem. Just look at Alice as an example of Traumatic Short Hair; her hair was shorn like that because she received electroshock “treatments” in an asylum. (Although in Alice’s case, I don’t think her having short hair is punishment, but a facet of the traumatic backstory all female characters in Twilight have to have for some reason. Plus, she started the series with short hair, which distinguishes her from the pack and Lauren, who were tricked or compelled into cutting their long hair during the series.)

But Lauren’s so bitchy, so she deserves it, right? Ha ha, she was mean to Bella and cared about her appearance too much, so now she’s ~ugly!

Leah Has It the Worst and It Makes Me Want To Burn Everything

The misogynistic aspect of hair-cutting as punishment is taken up to like, twelve with Leah. Not only does she suffer for being “against” the Cullens along with the rest of the pack (and Bella, too, so extra sinning), but she suffers uniquely for being the only female shapeshifter. A bunch of teenage boys regularly see her naked body against her will. Her previously devoted boyfriend imprints on her cousin/best friend, Sam dumps her and can’t even explain why, and the whole pack -- including her own brother -- resents her for being upset about it, even though she can’t help the lack of mental privacy. Because of that same lack of mental privacy, she has to hear every gripe the boys have about her, plus every enthralled thought Sam has about Emily while she’s still deeply wounded by their breakup.

She blames herself for her dad’s death, because she phased at the wrong time. We don’t get any indication that her fellow shapeshifters or the elders are trying to reassure her otherwise.

And of course, because she’s a shapeshifter, she has to cut her hair. In addition, because Leah’s a woman, this has the same misogynistic connotations as it did with Lauren. In Leah’s case, though, the de-feminization is compounded by her sudden infertility. It’s clear that Leah attaches her sense of womanhood to her fertility, rightly or wrongly -- she bitterly calls herself a “genetic dead end” in Breaking Dawn and thinks of herself as a freak. She feels like there must be something wrong with her, some un-womanly flaw, that made her one of the shapeshifters at all.

Then, just when Jacob starts to see her as a human being worthy of compassion, he imprints on Renesmee and doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything else anymore. No more bonding with Leah, no blooming friendship to help her heal and come to terms with the new realities of her life. (This is one of those dropped threads that aggravate me to no end -- what was the point of having Leah opening up to Jacob, or starting Jacob on the path of realizing he was being a dick to her this whole time and that she’s a person with  value, if he was just going to spend the rest of the book as Renesmee’s love-zombie and never think about it again? Disgusting.)

Leah was a lot more forgiving of Jacob than he deserved at that point in the story, for all the good it did her -- I think she’s mentioned maybe once in Book 3 of Breaking Dawn. At least she got her god-tier moment of yelling at a deranged, pregnant Bella Swan.

Speaking of Bella...

I’m just going to note, for no particular reason, that in Breaking Dawn we get to hear explicitly that Bella’s got hair that falls “almost to her waist” and that she looks like “a freaking supermodel” because she’s so “beautiful and pale.” It just strikes me as a telling contrast at this point.

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

VelvetCardiganBucky’s Recommendations 2021: Week 1 & 2 | January 1-9

Welcome to my first ever list of recommendations! In this week's list, you’ll find links to my favorite stories I've read in the past week. Eventually, I would like to also share some of my other favorite things on this site, but for now, it's just stories. If you would like your story featured in a future post just use #ktkvcbreadinglist

Be aware most of the stories and writers on this list are 18+ over writers and my blog is an 18+ blog.

Week 3 »

Chris Evans

Sealed with an Accident by @coolemmasulivan • Chris Evans x Reader — Fluffy and sweet, we need it after the week we just had.

Steve Rogers

Fill Me Up by @jtargaryen18 • Steve Rogers x Reader — Sweet, but hot.

Ransom Drysdale

The Highest Bidder by pagesoflauren • Ransom Drysdale x Reader – Graduate school is expensive, especially when you’ve moved out of state and going to school in Boston. Bills pile up, and soon your bank account is looking grim, with no choice left but to auction off what you deem your most valuable asset: your virginity. | Sequel: Money’s Worth

her cherry lips on his whiskey flavoured kiss by @cloudystevie • Love Drunk Ransom x Reader – Ransom was never a one for till he met you. (The smut in this is just beautiful.)

Andy Barber

Blackmail by @stargazingfangirl18 • Darkish!Andy Barber x Reader – Mob!Andy Barber? YES, please! I didn't know I was missing out till I was reading this. The writing is great and it leaves you wanting more. Kudos to the writer and thank you for the filthy smut.

Bucky Barnes

Golden by @rebeccccccaaa • King!Bucky x Knight!Reader – King Bucky loses his wife after she falls sick, his kingdom demands he remarries, preferably to a nearby kingdom to form an alliance. The problem is the isn't the one, but her knight, however, well she was a pleasant surprise for the King.

'Tis The Damn Season by @sweeterthanthis & @msmarvelwrites • Bucky Barnes x Reader – Angst/Smut/Man Whore Bucky and Taylor Swift what more could I ask for? There is now Taylor Swift in this, it’s just named after the song but it’s just as angsty as the song and perfect. *EDIT: Before I just had Lau as the writer, but Brontë was a co-writer on it and it makes me enjoy it even more!*

Rule Number Four by @buckyswinterbaby • softdom!Bucky Barnes x Reader – Can I just say this is just perfect? Like if I had to picture Bucky as a dom, this is how I would see him. Also, this one-shot isn't too graphic, so if you are looking for a little something but nothing too heavy this is the one for you.

Exile by @sweeterthanthis • Bucky Barnes x Reader – Get yourself some tissues, because I needed them, but again this last week had my hormones on haywire. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Lau uses Grey's Anatomy quotes in this and of course, it’s based on Taylor Swift's song Exile so it’s got some Major Angst, this isn’t a happy one-shot but it does have smut. I love it so much. Thank you for blessing us with your creativity Lau!

Alcoholic Juice Box by @ayybtch • Bucky x Reader – Best Boyfriend ever meets adulting sucks significant other, but he’ll do whatever he can to make them happy.

Cold Body by @sergeant-bonky • Bucky x Reader – Pure Fluff and cuddles, everything I needed after last week.

Santa Baby by @shield-agent78 • Bucky x Darcy Lewis Friends/Bucky x Reader – Steve needs some super-soldier Advil to put up with Bucky but knows Darcy can help him! This is just so fluffy and perfect! I ship Bucky and Darcy but also seeing them as friends is great!

Cookie Monster by @bugsbucky • Dad!Bucky & Daughter – STRAIGHT UP FLUFF THAT FEEDS YOUR SOUL

Stucky

Secrets by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor • Dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader x Dark! King Steve Rogers – A buried family secret comes to light thrusting you to the forefront of an old alliance. (Sorry there is no Masterlist and I know Roo has 7 Chapters as of right now.)

The Concubine by cherinenymphe • DARK!Stucky x Concubine!Reader — Reader is favorite Concubine of the King Steve Rogers, and when he joins forces with King James Barnes, she soon finds herself the favorite of both kings. How long can reader satisfy the kings before jealousy arises risking both kingdoms alliances?

Not Red Riding Hood by @angrythingstarlight • A/B/O Dynamics Dark Stucky x Reader – Sometimes you just need to read about some wolfs chasing after you to claim and what do you know it’s good in a dark sort of way. *winks*

Misc.

This Mission by @quietmyfearswith • Captain Syverson x Stucky x Reader – Is it getting hot in here? Because I sure needed to be doused in a bucket of ice water after reading this! It’s got EVERYTHING!

treat you well | stackie by @sexyxseabassx • Stackie x Reader – SMUT/Threesome ~ I didn't know I needed Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan, and Reader inserts in my life or anything of the sorts really till I read this, and I loved it. All I can say is that I hope Shreya brings us more. Thank you for blessing us with this one-shot.

Writers

@pagesoflauren – Let me tell you about my friend Lauren... Lauren is a fantastic writer, she is always blowing me away with her talents. I’m also in awe of how she always makes time to give us chapters even though she has a hectic life schedule. If you take the time to read Lauren’s writing I promise you won't be let down, it's some of the most amazing pieces I’ve ever read. She's constantly coming up with new stuff.

@sweeterthanthis – I binged Lau’s masterlist and let me just say, they are are a freaking amazing writer. Lau made me cry, laugh, and get angry with the reader inserts! Lau’s talents know no bounds. I look forward to see what 2021 has in store for Lau.

@literate-lamb – I binged their small yet so good masterlist as well. They are a really good writer of dark!fics and they have a way of pulling you in and making you feel as if you are in it.

@cherienymphe – Don’t know how I slept so long on her blog, but her writing is dark and beautiful. It sends chills down your spine and it also makes you weep for the characters. Truly beautiful! *chefs kiss*

[rawliverandcigarettes]

How about 3, 17, and 24 for the writer asks?

Hey, thank you so much for the great asks, these were headscratchers in a very interesting way!

3. How would you describe your writing style?

But beyond this first instinct, I think I'd describe it as... introspective??? maybe??? I'm bad at writing movements and I apologize.

What I can say is that it's very literary-inspired, especially by the specific sub-genre of woman-driven character studies (so Helen Oyeyemi, Emily Friedlund, Emma Cline, Akwaeke Emezi, Lauren Groff to a smaller extent...): lots of weird verbiage, metaphors, comparaisons and parallelisms all around. I love sentences that are compelling, beautiful and revelatory: if I can nail one like this every once and a while, I'm very happy.

I also had to admit to myself that my writing style has a lot of spiritual ties to the realism movement of the 19th century in France, especially Gustave Flaubert, which 17 years old me would have loathed me for. I am driven by similar concerns, for example the immensity of romanticism having to cram itself into the claustrophobic constraints of reality, and my obsession for subtext as well as my love for tragi-comic situations do come from somewhere.

I am also inspired by every story that really is invested in a place or a group, and gives the reader a glimpse at its truth through flawed and limited perspectives; I'm thinking Jorge Amado, the TV Show The Wire, the game Disco Elysium... Things that try to breach the barrier between the personal and the political.

It is also not illegal to call my writing style flowery (though I will be moderately-to-unfairly grumpy about it since I try to put care and importance on the words I use), but it is true that my primary goal is not always clarity. I do go for depth over accessibility sometimes, which is a choice readers don't have to love and is understandably not everybody's cup of tea.

17. Past or present tense? Why?

It depends on the story! I love both (like I love every point of view pronoun, depends on the story and what it needs)! For some stories, I seek the immediacy of present tense to convey something about the mood, the character's perspective, etc. For others, I love past tense for its distance, its contemplation, sometimes the breath of inevitability it can bring with it.

I am also deadset on writing a short story in future tense at some point. This point of view really intrigues me in what it can do and how far it can be pushed.

24. Thoughts on flashbacks/flashforwards.

Hehehehe.

So I think flashbacks are just a great storytelling tool in general; there's so much meaning that can be brought from the backstory of a character to its fictive present, and regular character introspection can hardly ignore flashbacks given the character has working memories.

Then, I think flashbacks can be pushed super far, become characterization themselves, and then become absolutely unmanageable and eat your very soul. It doesn't have to be, but it can do this, and will do this if you let them.

(I am struggling so hard to figure this part out in TEoP)

I have rarely interacted seriously with flashforwards, but I keep on wondering if they really are that different from flashbacks in principle? I suppose it depends on where the fictive present is located, but if flashforwards are considered as such for retrospective fiction (for example, an old character looking back on their youth and something that happened then), then what's a flashback and what is a flashforward?

Maybe it's because I haven't played with them enough to fully get it, but I have trouble understanding how to truly separate the two given that time is an illusion, especially in fiction.

Thanks again, these were really fun!

(based on the Yet Another Writing Asks!)

[saharzahids]

Starkid Rewatch: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals 🎼

Finally we have reached the hatchetfield series

My paulkins brain is ready let's gooo

I'm that one lady in the audience who's genuinely jamming out to the intro

Thinking back to how the intro was just foreshadowing the ending and that Emma gets infected too

🎶what an ass, what a bitch, what a cuuuuuuuuck🎶

I love how every musical with them has lauren and robert having a cute dance number

Paul was clearly set up to be the asshole character but we all chose to love him so they just went along with it

LATTAY HOTTAY ☕

Does she know i would die for her

I have very low blood sugar

Paulkins interaction here we go

Knowing that ted is the homeless man...

I don't know how it changes things here but somehow it just does

Reluctant friendship hcs for paul and green peace girl come through

Once again: props to June saito for understanding the duality of lesbian fashion

Hey it's everyone's favorite murder grandpa

Oh, look a new blouse

Pitch perfect whomst?

I love that for Bill it's never a question of alice being gay..it's never really that big of a deal. He just does not like deb

He even suggests other girls for alice

Its just really comforting for me to watch it be normalised so sweetly

Lah...dee...DAH. DAH. DAY?!

I will 100% believe this is the man behind the paul clones. He is so fucking unhinged look at him

🎶black coffee, I'm your coffee gal- NOOOOO!!!!!

He has to bend to half his height to meet her eye level i love them

Promise me you'll think about the implications!!

Jaime had no business being this hot during cup of poisoned coffee

They're constantly just holding hands or reaching out for each other it's too cute

YOU GRABBED THE WRONG ONE, YOU NOODLE!

The purest friendship

Ted casually jamming out to Robert's dance

[alien/turkey noises]

His brain fell out

Who is it? Professor hidgens! Don't lie to me whoever you are, I'm professor hidgens!

This is paul and...them

I'm going to...kick your...head

Iconic

Get you someone who looks at you the way paul looks at emma

Or even the way emma looks at paul really they're both equally soft

The biggest plot twist would have been if Paul had been the one to crash Jane's car

FUCK CLIVESDALE

So I guess I'm the supervillain? I don't think of you like that at all emma

I'm soft for them

Jaime i love u

Seriously her voice 😯

Jeff just jumping around while jaime sings like a goddess honestly same

Anyways paulkins are being all adorable in the background

I love how they're just screaming out for bill like fuck ted

I shot a charle-ton

Appreciate his jokes please

SING THE BEGINNING OF MOANA

The best starkid song honestly

Can we talk about how paul remembered most of the lines? Like emma and ted were just repeating whatever he said and bill was fucking singing the circle of life

Ted's voice cracking

I just realised he's sitting directly in front of charlotte's body and I know he's 90% an asshole but this fucking scene man

Like he cares just a little and we can all see it how he's trying to keep whats left of his friends from dying too

Honestly joey's acting here gets me

Height difference™

When he said "I respect her choices but..." I honestly initially thought some homophobic crap might follow but bill you absolute angel

He did not dissapoint

Bill Woodward 🤝 Steve harrington

If you get what I mean

(team i have no issue with you being a lesbian but please have better taste in girls)

Fancasting for denise or angela to play grace chastity in NPMD

Corey's expressions in this scene honestly breaks my heart

He just wanted to save his daughter 😔

prove it asshole, we're the army

he boop

WEAR A WATCH ⌚

I'm authorising you to use my firearm

Hidgens and mcnamara are both dramatic gays but with completely opposite energies

[foot sweep]

The way he skip-runs across the stage

Draco would be proud

For a 63 year old he can really work those hips

The audience losing their shit

Should I take this chair? I'll get the piano

The light slowly turning red as infected!mcnamara smiles

The audience slowly realising what the lyrics mean

Honestly iconic

One of my favorite moments in the show

So the last thing paul ever told emma was "byeeeee"?

Nah fuck that they both survived and are living happily in colorado running their pot farm

What ending?

The theatre being Paul's worst nightmare and starlight theatre being the place where he's killed, and starlight also being miss holloway's nightmare time? Methinks he might be her descendent of some sort

Watch out paul, he might kick your head

Mr. Davidson didn't want to be a mindless alien slave! He wanted to be choked by his wife!

Starkid stroking their villain takes a whole another level here huh

Jon slipping between normal talking to singing after every other word is pure talent

All jokes and paulkins related angst aside the ending is actually really amazing for a multitude of reasons

1. Inevitable is an absolute masterpiece of a song and it ties in all the previous songs that were there in the show

2. It provides context to the intro song (its all a fucking loop babey)

3. We get this one final moment of softness

4. Emma's scream perfectly harmonises with the ending of inevitable

5. It spectacularly breaks the 4th wall for the second time and integrates the audience as characters in the show

6. They never once break character through the whole thing

7. It proves once and for all that the hero of the story was never paul, it was emma. paul was just the final villain

That being said I am happily going back deep down in denial-town. You can find me drowning in a bucketload of paulkins fluff fics goodbye

[spaceorphan18]

As someone who started watching Glee after it was over, I have a question as I tried to google around but coudn't find the answer. I hope since you were following it at that time that you might enlighten me on this. Is there a reason why Ashley Fink was not included in season 3? Somewhere around I read that it was a way to punish Chris? But why, I don't understand, what did he do to deserve it?

So, as far as I know, I've never heard one specific reason as to why she was let go.

Oh gosh, I've sorta heard that rumor, but I don't necessarily believe that's true. TV contracts are a little more complicated than that. I think it was a mixture of things.

I'm sure the official reason is that they decided not to renew/extend her contract, and there were probably a mix of the following reasons for that:

A) She may have wanted more money/more screen time and they didn't want to do that.

B) Lauren was not a fan favorite. (People liked her - but she never had a heavy following.)

C) Ashley wasn't brining in iTunes sales.

D) The Network (Fox) may have not liked Lauren.

E) Story wise, they had no where for her character to go. She was essentially tied to Puck, and with Puck needing to be with Shelby and Quinn at the beginning of Season 3 - that cut her ties from him. And yes, I know Ryan had something about some plot line with Kurt (I kind of wonder if it had to do with the election), but Ryan spit out a lot of ideas just to hear what sounded good and maybe a third ever got made. I think ultimately, they never really knew what to do with Lauren outside her one-liner jokes and that semi-relationship with Puck.

F) The cast was already too big -- and the network wanted to add more. You can't forget that The Glee Project was a thing Fox forced upon Ryan Murphy. So in order to add even more characters, they had to get rid of a few. Lauren was an easy choice.

I know that there have been rumors that Ashley getting let go were part of the reason Chris had a falling out with Ryan Murphy (which I think is a way more complex and personal thing that we don't have enough information on to even begin to guess what was really going on there), I don't see any reason as to why they would punish Chris, especially when at the time, he was their golden child.

Also, while Ryan Murphy often gets a lot of the blame (and I should preface with - I'm not a Ryan Murphy apologist, I think the dude is a dickbag half the time) he isn't the sole person who makes these decisions. Brad and Ian, also showrunners, were often more involved (Darren has talked about this) and Fox also has a ton of say over what goes on. So even if Ryan did have an issue - I just don't think his word was final say on anything.

So... not a concrete answer, but hopefully puts things in perspective a little better?

[storytellersumayyah]

PLAYLIST

find it on spotify!

The whole thing is four hours and twenty nine minutes and seventy one songs. As you read, some of the choices may not make sense, but it's the songs I wrote to, and I want you to have the playlist that has been through a ridiculous amount of changes

Lonely Hearts Club - MARINA

broken - lovelytheband

Somebody Else - The 1975

Teen Idle - MARINA

Crush Culture - Conan Gray

Born to Die - Lana Del Rey

Let's Hurt Tonight - OneRepublic

Video Games - Lana Del Rey

Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi

I Can't Make You Love Me - Dave Thomas Junior

Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood

loneliness for love - lovelytheband

This Is What Makes Us Girls - Lana Del Rey

i like the way - lovelytheband

Fuck it I love you - Lana Del Rey

Far Too Young to Die - Panic! At The Disco

What About Us - P!nk

bad guy - Billie Eilish

Armor - Landon Austin

Radio - Lana Del Rey

Lookalike - Conan Gray

exile - Taylor Swift, Bon Iver

Little Lion Man - Mumford and Sons

the last great american dynasty - Taylor Swift

Liability - Lorde

Without You - Lana Del Rey

Dusk Till Dawn - ZAYN, Sia

The Night We Met - Lord Huron

Getaway Car - Taylor Swift

Bubblegum Bitch - MARINA

All Too Well - Taylor Swift

Murder Party - NOT THE MAIN CHARACTERS

Wildest Dreams - Taylor Swift

FOOLS - Troye Sivan

A Better Son/Daughter - Rilo Kiley

illicit affairs - Taylor Swift

Cough Syrup - Young the Giant

King - Lauren Aquilina

Leave Your Lover - Echos

Medicine - Daughter

Haunted - Taylor Swift

Always Hate Me - James Blunt

Tear in My Heart - Twenty One Pilots

Greek God - Conan Gray

Hermit the Frog - MARINA

brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

The Lucky One - Taylor Swift

Sign of the Times - Harry Styles

Dancing With Our Hands Tied - Taylor Swift

What If This Is All The Love You Ever Get? - Snow Patrol

Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby - Cigarettes After Sex

Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez

everything i wanted - Billie Eilish

Someone To Stay - Vancouver Sleep Clinic

The Only Heartbreaker - Mitski

Rolling in the Deep - Adele

Seventeen Going Under - Sam Fender

Stubborn Love - The Lumineers

Class of 2013 - Mitski

Easier Than Lying - Halsey

Sippy Cup - Melanie Martinez

Telling Myself - Joshua Bassett

Your Best American Girl - Mitski

Cocaine Jesus - Rainbow Kitten Surprise

1121 - Halsey

Softcore - The Neighbourhood

Jenny (I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship) - Studio Killers

Alien Blues - Vundabar

How To Be A Heartbreaker - MARINA

Townie - Mitski

What If It Doesn’t End Well - chloe moriondo

Let You Go - Joshua Bassett

[loriane-elmuerto]

1 - 10, 31 - 36 , 66 - 68 for any oc of your choice! 🤍

175 OC questions

1. Does your character have good aim?

Yes, Evelina has really good aim thanks to her training under Pekka’s watchful eye. One of her proud achievements are that she can use either pistols or a crossbow, if she’s feeling fancy that night.

2. What would history remember your character for?

For seducing the Darkling  For being a criminal with Heartrender abilities and pulling off successful heists with Kaz and the Dregs. She’s not a person who miraculously becomes a Saint, she says that’s Alina’s job. But, so far... Just for being the Dregs’ assassin.

3. Does your character prefer to work in silence or with noise and of what kind?

Complete silence. Silence means less of a chance of being detected, and that means bigger chances of survival. Going in loud means mistakes will be made, plans will go to shit, and Rollins will beat her up for not completing her mission. Or she might die.

4. Has your character ever been handcuffed or tied up?

A couple of times, yes. But these were rookie mistakes on her part, back when she had just working as an assassin. The Dime Lions would have to go in to save her, and after Pekka very clearly explained what would happen should she get caught again, she never got caught again.

5. Can your character cook?

No :///// When Evie was little, her mother would do all the cooking, while little Evelina would just watch or help her out. When she joined the Dime Lions, someone would provide her with food. Other than that, she’s pretty much useless in this category, as she just doesn’t have the necessary skills to make a hot meal for herself.

6. Who did your character look up to as a child?

Only her parents. She admired how, despite all the hardships thrown at them by Ketterdam, her parents would try to stay true to their principals and their life style. She admired how they stayed honest people and she really wishes she’ll be able to be honest with herself and the world some day.

7. Do any of your characters have depression?

Lauren - post Wyatt’s death

Aminata - post Order 66

Elena - post Geth attack on the Citadel

8. Who has the worst luck?

ALL OF THEM. Nah jokes aside, I’d say it’s Mina and Sarai. They literally lost EVERYTHING in the span of a day and became enemies of the Empire. Family gone, Jedi Order gone, clones gone, friends gone, everything is gone.

9. Could your character win an arm wrestling competition? How well would they do?

While Evelina has muscles on her, she would definitely lose to someone like Matthias. She’d win if someone was on her level or less.

10. Would your character give up the chance to come back to life as a god so that someone else could be saved?

Yes, absolutely! While Evelina is a criminal and looks out mostly for herself, she still has some morality left in her, and her parents have taught her about responsibility. Evelina believes that no person deserves to be a god. Saint is cutting it pretty close, but it’s not as bad yet.

31. How much does your character care about their appearance?

A lot. Being Pekka’s personal pleasure slave and being described as “having the face of a seductress” carries weight. Evelina has learned to weaponize her looks on missions, when the option of blending in is available. She has learned that a pretty face will get more doors open for you than a bloody, busted up one.

32. Do you have any characters who are twins?

Amelia and Jamie, and Elena’s siblings!

33. Does your character like math? How good are they at it?

I mean, she received some general education from her parents, but Rollins properly educated her in this matter so that she could operate on his behalf and carry out the assassinations. As for liking, she’s neutral on the matter. It’s just numbers to her. :////

34. Do any of your characters collect sea-shells or wear shell jewelry?

Julia collects them! Sometimes, when her and Josephine can afford themselves a longer vacation, they always visit the beach. Josephine has a gift for finding some pretty shells which she gives to her mom. Julia decorates the apartment with them.

Another collector is Lauren, who originally was born and spent her first years in a port city. When she’s travelling, she brings shells to her mom only from her home city, as a way of not forgetting their roots.

Lastly, Caroline wears shell jewelry because Jotaro always makes sure to bring home the prettiest shells he can find on his travels. It’s like she can keep a part of him home when he’s away.

35. Naptime, yes or no?

It’s a no from Evelina! There’s always something else to do, she’ll sleep when it’s night time. Napping equals wasting time being lazy.

36. Would your character prefer to sit around and chill or be up and moving and doing something?

Just as I’ve mentioned above, Evelina would rather be moving around, even if it’s just to appear busy when she’s not doing anything in particular. Being able to relax just seems too much of a luxury for someone like her. :///

66. How much of a disappointment/scandal to their family is your character?

A VERY BIG ONE. Evelina’s parents were very hard-working and honest, and went to great lengths to hide her Grisha powers so that nobody could enslave her. And Evelina just went and basically wiped it all away. Not like she had a choice, though.

67. Would your character be willing to do something they consider morally wrong in order to achieve their goals?

Unless it’s something like murdering a child or a weak person for anything at all, she pretty much already does morally wrong things every single day. But if it were something like mentioned just now, then, no. She’s not that evil.

68. Are any of your characters intimidatingly beautiful?

Christina (my second JJBA oc, a mafioso heiress)

Aminata (only to men)

Evelina (widely debatable, mostly thanks to the seductress face rumors)

[alwayssaywhatever]

I made a playlist for my fanfic

Art by my friend Ferbiie. She’s amazing and did this as a surprise and she’s incredibly talented. So go follow her tumblr, her account on Insta for drawings: littlesweetdrawings and read her fanfics at A03.

So, some of you know that I‘m writing Mystic Messenger Fanfic. I just decided to create a playlist to my wip, Wine and Cigarettes, a JuminxZen Fanfic.

There’s a few songs per chapter, and I decided to post the list here with a few notes about each of them. 

There are spoilers for the chapters on the song’s choices and explanation. I suggest you go read first and then come back here.

1- Underneath The Mistletoe

A Lovely Night - La La Land Soundtrack (The hate-love dynamics in the beginning of their relationship and the RFA being on a lovely Christmas Night).

Gorgeous - Taylor Swift (Jumin feeling conflicted about Zen)

Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood (I think the lyrics say everything, they are lonely, ygot issues.)

Nervous - Shawn Mendes (“You make me nervous and piss me off”)

Underneath the Mistletoe - Sia (I found this one today and found cute and it’s the name of the chapter)

2- Silence and Anxiety

Toxic - Britney Spears (Zen still wondering what happened on their first kiss)

Troublemaker - Olly Murs ft. Flo Rida (Zen knowing that JUmin could be trouble)

His Status is… Preferred - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast (I love this show CEG and decided to put some fun songs in the middle of this playlist and the lyrics describe Jumin well from Zen’s pov)

broken - lovelytheband (I add this one on the list after reading this fic “Trust fund party” link: https://bit.ly/3iQtXis)

Into You - Ariana Grande (Zen wondering if he should make a move before the second kiss)

3- French Cuisine

Crush - Tessa Violet (I love her music and this album, the fluff, thinking about each other)

I Like (the idea of) You - Tessa Violet (more fluff, the texting each other)

Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys (Even if they already kissed each other twice, there’s the question if the other feels the same way, the same intensity)

I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys (The end of the dinner)

Animal - Chase Holfelder (it’s a cover from Neon Trees and I like the slowed down version, it gets sexier)

4- Birthday Date

I Really Like You - Carly Rae Jepsen (few weeks of dating, the beginning of liking someone)

Absolutely Smitten - dodie (same from the one before)

Dive - Ed Sheeran (the fear of falling fast and too intensely for someone, wanting to make sure the other feels the same)

Talk Too Much - COIN (I love this one and thought it was too cute)

5- Confessions and Fried Chicken

Make Me Like You - Gwen Stefani (the whole panic before saying “I Love You”)

Stupid Love - Lady Gaga (fine, I love you, so what?)

Shut Up and Dance - WALK THE MOON (Zen basically saying this song before they dance together)

Baby I’m Yours - Barbara Lewis (the song that appears at the chapter, it speaks for itself)

6- The Storm After the Calm

You Deserve Better - James Arthur (Jumin thinking about leaving Zen, insecurities and fear)

Just Give Me a Reason - P!nk ft. Nate Ruess (Zen asking what’s wrong and why they are breaking up. P!nk’s lines are Jumin and Nate’s lines are Zen)

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi (Zen asking if there was something he could do to stop the break up)

ok on your own - mxmtoon ft. Carly Rae Jepsen (the whole lyrics it’s a mix between their feelings)

7- Broken Promises

We don’t talk Anymore - Charlie Puth ft. Selena Gomez (“Every now and then I think you might want me to come show up at your door, but I'm just too afraid that I'll be wrong”)

I Was an Island - John-Allison Weiss (Zen’s pov for the lyrics)

Words Ain’t Enough - Tessa Violet (Jumin made promises with words, but his actions proved them otherwise. They broke up saying that they still loved each other)

Death By A Thousand Cuts - Taylor Swift (Zen again: “'Cause saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts; flashbacks waking me up; I get drunk, but it's not enough”)

EX - Kiana Ledé (More Zen: “Just 'cause it's different and we're not the same; Doesn't mean things have to change; I got no trouble with my pride, got trouble cutting ties”)

8- RFA’s New Members

dream of you - mxmtoon (I love her music and had to have her here too and it’s sad. The lyrics really mean everything)

i miss you - mxmtoon (the lyrics also say everything on this one)

Dress - Taylor Swift (“Our secret moments in your crowded room; They've got no idea about me and you”)

I Won’t Give Up - Jason Mraz (Zen still has hopes, so he joins the RFA)

9- A Night of Regrets

Maniac - Conan Gray (pretty much the fight from the chapter)

Walls Could Talk - Halsey (The fight gain)

Horny Angry Tango - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast (the sexual tension of the fight)

We Should Definetly Not Have Sex Right Now - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast (the title and the lyrics are pretty straight forward)

MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT - Monsta X (this happens after this chapter and before the next chapter. It’s not healthy, but continue to hook up)

Circles - Post Malone (the same bas from the last song, but this time Zen believes he has to put an end to all of this)

10- The Consequences To Their Actions

Never Really Over - Katy Perry (Zen thinking about the bad cycle of their hookups, but also still having feelings for Jumin)

Strangers - Halsey ft. Lauren Jauregui (Halsey lines are Zen and Lauren’s lines are Jumin)

Getaway Car - Taylor Swift (Jumin talking about their relationship was doomed from the beginning)

Mercy - Shawn Mendes (Zen demanding explanations about them, if they have a future)

Say Something - A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera (Zen pleading for answers)

Please Don’t Leave Me - P!nk (Jumin not wanting Zen to leave)

It Was a Shit Show - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast (Zen admitting that their relationship was flawed and it should be over)

11- Comfort in an Unexpected Place

Perfect Illusion - Lady Gaga (Zen being mad about their second time was not feeling and just something casual)

Truth Hurts - Lizzo (Zen complaining to Seven)

Good as Hell - Lizzo (Seven giving advice to Zen)

Kill This Love - BLACKPINK (feeling empowered after deciding not to cry about his ex anymore. “His love is my favorite; But you plus me; Sadly can be dangerous”)

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - Taylor Swift (putting the final stone and saying it’s over forever)

12- Kind Eyes and Good Advice

Strawberries and Cigarettes - Troye Sivan (the song that inspired the title of the fic. I could be the two singing, but Jumin is thinking about: “strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you”)

Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi (Jumin is all the lyrics, but this one really hurts: “I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain”)

Falling - Harry Styles (Jumin drinking and blaming himself. “And I get the feelin' that you'll never need me again”)

Ex - Stray Kids (the moment I heard this song I thought about Jumin singing this. The MV on youtube has the lyrics in English ;])

13- When a Door Closes…

i hate u, i love u - gnash ft. Olivia O’Brien (this chapter it’s more about the characters and Rika, but it’s also the first time in six months that the two saw each other and I love this song so much)

14- …Someone Breaks Through a Window

Strange Love - Halsey (RFA wondering why the two fight so much and Zen reflects about their past)

When I Was Your Man - Bruno Mars (Jumin thinking about the things he could’ve done better)

Talking to the Moon - Bruno Mars (Zen thinking about the two of them after all this time)

Somebody That I Used to Know - Gotye ft. Kimbra (they being annoyed at the the other, their fights and bickerings on the chat rooms)

I will reblog this post when I add more songs to the playlist. I’ve already updates chapters 15 and 16 but I still didn’t know wich songs to add, so this is it for now.

There is a tag for the fic and I’ll update everything there as well. 

I hope you enjoyed this journey into my mind. This songs helped me write and maybe I’ll have some drawing to complete this whole work.

[nyctarian]

I did this last year too but here is a list of best and worst books I read this year--not books that came out this year and not every books I read this year, just ones that I read for the first time

Best:

City of Scoundrels: The 12 Days of Disaster That Gave Birth to Modern Chicago by Gary Krist

Listened to this as an audiobook and it was a really interest screenshot into a specific period of chicago history and the roots and impacts. Similar to bill bryson’s One Summer, this uses a particularly busy period of history to explore various elements of politics and society. (some of the subjects discussed are potentially very triggering--specifically discussions surrounding racism and child abuse)

The Seventh Bride by T. Kingfisher

This was a really interesting retelling of bluebeard, and explores interesting feats of magic, and has really welldone cast of characters, and ties up every lose end in ways that are unexpected but still fit. A lesser version of this book would have had a the mc find romance somewhere, and this is all the better for not doing that.

The Flatshare by Beth O'Leary

This was a very well done alternating pov m/f romcom story. it handled the heavy elements of a main character dealing with leaving an abusive relationship well, and

[note from 12/24/2022: was looking at past book lists in anticipation of writing mine this year and noticed for the first time that this entry ends literally mid sentence lmaooo. no clue what i was gonna say but its a good solid read that i rec]

All Systems Red by Martha Wells (murderbot #1)

This is a bit of a stand in for all of the murderbot novella’s ive read so far (im midway through the fourth one rn) and as someone who doesnt like scifi ive been really enjoying these. the main character (murderbot) is really well created with such a strong sense of character, while still being funny in a way that doesnt detract from the narrative.

The Girls at the Kingfisher Club by Genevieve Valentine

This had been on my tbr for ages, since I went through a period of looking for good 12 dancing princesses adaptations. I read this after attempting a few different set-in-the-20s fantasy type stories that all disappointed, but this one was absolutely tremendous. It is completely non-magic, an interesting choice for a fairy tale adaptation like this, but setting it in speakeasies absolutely worked. It had diversity without being a book that was Branding On Representation™, it had an immensely compelling main character who was able to be unlikeable at times in ways you could absoluetly understood. I read a different 12 dancing princesses adaptation this year that kept the magic and it was far less enjoyable. Kingfisher Club absolutely made the best of its setting and the ways it changed the story were great.

An Unauthorised Fan Treatise by Lauren James

This was a serialized story set in the style of an old school LJ-esque fandom drama report--think cassie clare and msscribe--but as a murder mystery. I am the type of person who is really good at guessing the who in a whodunit and it still had me guessing with every update, but never in a way that felt like pointless misdirection, but instead in the way that absolutely clicks once its all settled. I started it at the beginning of the year, and finished it in may, and looking forward to the weekly updates was an absolute highlight of the slow cascade into chaos that the first half of this year became. it hit the exact right note for a story of this nature, and made me excited to check out other works by the author

Beach Read by Emily Henry

Of the books i had been looking forward to reading once they came out (this, if i never met you, and you deserve each other which was too meh to make the list) this one was really soft and enjoyable. while other lesser romcom style books have the sad family background be a weird underwhelming secret the whole time (coughloveletteringcough) this one is very forthright--my dead dad cheated on my mom, and were still coping. and while it was billed as more enemies to lovers, its instead more ‘we sorta knew each other and now were becoming friends whoops emotions) and was a good breezy read--literally perfect for a summer day on the beach (and in a year where i didnt do that, a decent substitute)

From Lukov with Love by Mariana Zapata

I had a real love-hate relationship with the other zapata book I read, and large chunks of her writing style really grate on me (the type of “calls one of the leads the adjective noun man” all the time in increasingly dumb ways, dumb character nicknames) but this one had a really solid relationship that it spent time to actually build and show you why it worked, and spent a good amount of time on the actual sport side of things

Special mention technically this isn’t the first time I consumed this book but childhood audiobook listening on carrides doesn’t really stick in the noggin’:

The Godwulf Manuscript by Robert B. Parker (spenser #1)

I spent much of my childhood on family carrides listening to robert b parkers spenser series, but this was the first time i’ve read one myself. While there are clear bits that are not in line with who the character becomes, it was still immensely readable, made me appreciate the later-series books we were listening to around the same time i was reading it, and made me excited to revisit more of the series (which i still need to do)

Worst:

In the Woods by Tana French

This is one of those authors that I had heard soooo many people gush about over the years that I was finally like, alright I will give it a shot. Fucking Hated It. the characters were unlikable, the mystery that gets solved was obvious and the one that doesn’t get solved was the only compelling thing. The series focuses on different characters, and this one starts with a character you are supposed to hate and who apparently never reappears, making him a terrible pov. I had to double check multiple times who the author was bc it was deeply misogynistic, but seemingly not in a self-aware decision to make morally grey characters, leading to an unfiltered odiousness for no reason.

Marriage of Unconvenience by Chelsea M. Cameron

I read a fair amount of m/f romcom books, but as a queer person am always trying to expand what I read to more diverse stories, and i had heard good things about this f/f fake dating story. This book was written in a noncompelling way (ie a whole tour of boston condensed into an afternoon, commenting on interesting things that happened offscreen instead of writing those scenes, wasting characters, nonsensical plot decisions) but the moment i had to give up on it was when a character took time to read hillary clintons biography.

Love Lettering by Kate Clayborn

This is one of the m/f romcoms i attempt a lot (as are the next 3). The first third was stupendous! The romance was more about building friendship, it was slowbuilding and not just about sad lady want love. It could not last. The main character became passive and the big rising action and plot was focused around her love interest doing stuff. There was a lesbian cop who gets compared to olivia benson, real girlboss hours.

If I Never Met You by Mhairi McFarlane

I dnf’d this book at 90%. The issue with a romcom by mhairi mcfarlane, in both books i’ve read by her, is that the LI gets next to no actually screentime to build the romance, and that the focus is on the broken-up-by-ex-cheating previous relationship of the lead. the first book i read by her was able to surpass those flaws and tamp them down. this one could not. This book is about a woman who fake dates a man to get over her ex of over a decade. It spends so much time on the ex and no time on the new guy, makes nonsensical plot decisions, and had no proper pacing. The part i dnf’d at could have been a natural conclusion but it needed to go on another ten percent to just make sure you knew the ex was a skeeze in a way that made no sense.

The Bookish Life of Nina Hill by Abbi Waxman

I gave up on this one real quick. it also spent no time establishing the supposed romance, had a bunch of unnecessary (parenthetical tee hee clever) asides that absplutely dragged, had no understanding of how bookstores actually work, and it had a main character whose whole deal is being clever and knowing facts say a bunch of dumb shit about adhd, which for obvious personal reasons made me insane. 

[gayregis]

wacky and definitely incorrect idea but,,,they killed off renfri in TWN because she'd take one look at duny and be like "ok thats a predator" (pavetta is 15?!?!)and unlike Netflix!geralt (who's very busy being mean and grunting and not talking to anyone)she'd actually get rid of him(Throw HIM off a ship, etc) before he had the opportunity to plot pavetta's murder an creepily gaze at ciri/ciri's potential for immense power

netflix nerfed themselves by controversially introducing a clear protagonist (Renfri) who's interesting and likeable and complex with a strong definable goal (revenge) and then immediately killing her off in favor of following the static antagonist (Netflix!Geralt) for the rest of the season. like interesting stylistic choice! I especially liked how they had him carry around her broach like a trophy!!! Totally not creepy to take something from the 18 yr old he could have avoided killing

uhhhhh i understand this take coming from solely the netflix show and seeing the witcher as a continuous story that’s like a bunch of episodes that fade into one another, but yeah, its a “wacky and definitely incorrect idea.” 

renfri continuing to be a character in the rest of the series wouldn’t make sense for a number of reasons. to begin with, she is confined to her own story. understand that these are short stories that are meant to stand on their own to each have certain messages. the lesser evil and a question of price are different stories and renfri belongs to the lesser evil because to kill her was “the lesser evil.” she isn’t meant to be a character outside of this story because the short stories aren’t really meant to overlap. they each have their own specific cast of characters, setting(s), plot, and morals that define them. i think the best way to think of them are like fables or folk tales. if snow white suddenly showed up in another fairy tale, that wouldn’t make any sense. i’d be like, get out of here, this isn’t your story!

not to say that it wouldn’t be cool, i mean, i definitely think it would be cool if princess adda and vereena teamed up and kicked geralt’s ass back to kaedwen, but that would defeat the entire message of both of their stories.

in addition, i think you are misunderstanding renfri’s character (but this is just my opinion and interpretation of the lesser evil). renfri and stregobor are both bad people, they are both evil that geralt is forced to decide between. i see way too many netflix fans saying renfi is cool/hot/sexy/a good character solely because she is a woman that fights with a sword and kills people, when in the witcher there are many women that fight with swords and kill people and the fact that they are woman is not really something the witcher ever focuses on. i don’t think sapkowski thought of making “strong female characters” to impress an audience like lauren hissrich did, he wasn’t trying to appeal to a diverse demographic by having more diverse characters. thus, it’s not really any better when a woman has a sword than when a man has a sword in the witcher. 

the sword is a burden. the sword kills, the sword is merciless. causing death with no feeling and no remorse is a bad thing, it is so horrific to geralt that it literally drove him to part with his daughter which he loved and adored and wanted desperately to raise, it drove him away from her because he was terrified that he would give this burden to her and thrust death and killing upon her. this is the message of the witcher, that to cause death is horrible. geralt was born into a profession that kills, he was raised and trained to kill, and he abhors this about himself, he loathes himself so viciously it annoys the absolute fuck out of anyone he’s around and they end up arguing with him that he needs to stop focusing on the fact that he’s a witcher and think about himself for himself. the fact of the matter is that 

a woman with a sword killing people isn’t a revolutionary thing in the context of the witcher, it’s not intended to be a feminist statement or a “cool” or good thing to admire. in other pieces of media, it might be because that’s their messaging, but in the witcher, the gender of the swordwielder doesn’t matter, it’s about how they wield the sword. there are certainly badass women in the witcher that are cool and easily idealized and seen as role models because of how cool and powerful they are, but you have to understand why they are powerful. renfri has turned to banditry because she was scorned from her royal inheritance, she feels cheated by fate. she is hateful towards her past and has no reason to adhere to peace, she is blinded by revenge. 

revenge is a very powerful and encompassing theme of the witcher. renfri is only one taste of it. revenge consumes another princess that later picks up the sword and turns to banditry out of desperation for something to rely upon and the feeling that she has been cheated by fate. she kills blindly because she is in pain. this is tragedy. this is sadness, cutting down innocents out of one’s own vicious pain is not an act to admire.

but on TV, “a girl has a sword” is such an incredibly revolutionary statement because everyone is starved for such a thing that they all become immediately thirsty to see more of this girl, more of her actions, even when she is not meant to be an ideal, not meant to be seen as something to emulate.

i think of the scene in baptism of fire when the rats arrive and begin to kill mercilessly, ciri runs men down. she ends up sparing one of the men, who saw such hatred and fury and pain in her eyes. when he returns home, he finds his own daughter trying to dress up like ciri, wearing her mother’s scarf tied around her neck and a stick tied to her back like a sword, because she thinks ciri falka and the rest of the rats are powerful and beautiful and wants to be like them, even when the girl she is dressed up as came a hair’s width close to slaying her father mercilessly in the street.

renfri is not a protagonist by any means. she is literally the antagonist of her own story. she’s a tragic character, her life was lost long before she gave geralt her ultimatum. 

i think what is important to keep in mind here is that these were meant to be adaptations of books. books that were published 30 years ago. if lauren hissrich and the rest of the team had done their jobs correctly and successfully, they would have abided by what was written and not written their own fanfiction which detracted massively from the themes and meaning of what was written. i understand that you dislike netflix geralt (who doesn’t?) but had they actually stuck to the books which they were meant to be adapting, you would likely like him. he doesn’t waste his time grunting instead of speaking. but netflix didn’t “nerf themselves” by killing off renfri... that’s literally what happens in the books that they are adapting, and in the books it happens for a clearer reason driven by themes and messages that the story conveys to you (not just flashy gore).

i also understand wanting to kill duny because he is a 30 yo engaged to a 15 yo pavetta, but that is more of sapkowski’s effect on the story as he treats this and other situations of dating 15 yo girls completely normalized within the fantasy society he has created, which is his fault as an author and not a character flaw of the characters in-universe. they didn’t have a choice for that to be normalized in their society, they’re characters. it’s wrong, but you can retcon it if you choose. also i think the idea of killing duny is just amusing because if you kill him, you would not get the massacre of cintra, you would not get cahir, you would not get rience, stefan skellen, vilgefortz and thus leo bonhart, schirru and thus nightingale and fulko artevelde and angouleme, there would be no stygga, there would be no lodge of sorceresses, there would also likely be no thanedd coup. the entire conflict of the entire series would just be gone. so interesting idea but it wouldn’t make sense at all and would defeat the entire story

[alj4890]

And Then I Met You

What happens when the one you thought you were meant for turns out to be meant for someone else?

A\N Choices Fan Fiction with characters from The Royal Romance, Red Carpet Diaries, and Perfect Match

@lxaah11​ ​   @alleksa16​ ​   @penguininapinktuxedo​ ​   @blackcoffee85​ ​   @stopforamoment​ ​     @hopefulmoonobject​ ​     @krsnlove​ ​     @annekebbphotography​ ​        @hopelessromantic1352​ ​   . @sunflowergirl05​ ​   @desireepow-1986​ ​  @greywitchyshots​ ​   @lilyofchoices​  @moodyvalentinestories​ ​  @emceesynonymroll​ ​   @my-heart-beats-for-ya​ @aworldoffandoms​   @ab1901​     @lolablackwrites​     @flyawayboo​   @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​   . @trappedinfandoms​   @kate-mckenzie​

Masterlist

Part 25

Novosel, Cordonia, seven hours southeast of St Orella...

Thomas turned the lamp off and attempted to go to sleep. He tossed and turned a few times and ended up staring up at the ceiling.

The hotel suite he had been residing for a little over a week was comfortable. He couldn't find anything to complain about the room itself. The staff were friendly and competent.

The first week of filming had gone better than he could have hoped for. Jessica had taken the role of Elizabeth and added a layer of innocent sweetness that Lauren had never quite mastered. The on screen chemistry between Jessica, Ryan, and Chris practically sparked in every scene they shared.

Having the talent and the highly capable film crew made his job as director easier.

He should be able to sleep. 

He turned his head toward the empty spot Amanda would have taken if she were here with him. Thomas was amazed that he actually was sleeping on the side of the bed he usually took when with her. Marriage had changed him in ways that were surprising him with this separation.

His day had been spent with multiple calls and trying not to be caught smiling too often when she sent a text message. He had known beforehand how much he loved her. He just hadn't expected this deep of an effect she had on him.

He rubbed his hands over his face and reached for the phone. He had called her earlier that evening, intending that to be the last he talked to her for the day.

He hesistated and called her once more.

After two rings he heard her voice.

"I almost called you." Amanda admitted with a laugh. "Something about trying to fall asleep makes me miss you even more."

He felt his body relax hearing her voice. "I'm experiencing the very same problem. One more week to get through before you are able to join me."

Amanda pulled the covers up around her. Her smile deepened with the thought of seeing him again. "About that,"

"Amanda," his voice held a hint of warning. "You are still coming in a week, aren't you?"

"I am." She quickly replied. She debated on telling him she could come tomorrow for a few days more or to simply surprise him.

With the king and queen expressing a need to return to the palace to begin preparations for the coronation before traveling to Ramsford, many of the guests were returning to their estates for a short break or traveling on to visit others. The last of her guests that were still at St Orella were those closest to her.

"We'll leave in the morning and help Bertrand prepare for the ball." Maxwell explained with a grin over dinner. "I know you're going to join Thomas, just be sure to be at Ramsford the night of the ball."

She decided she couldn't keep it to herself. "I'll be able to come tomorrow."

Thomas sat up in bed. "You will?" He looked around, thinking of all he wanted to do before she arrived. "That's wonderful. I thought the court was remaining at St Orella until the next event."

Her cheeks hurt from smiling at how happy he sounded. "The king had to cut his visit short. Once he and Regina left, everyone else was free to do what they wanted."

"I don't think I've ever been more happy to have a schedule being changed." He smiled at her laughter. "When do you think you'll be here?"

"Hopefully by late afternoon." She checked the time. "I should probably let you go. We both have an early morning tomorrow."

After telling her how much he loved her and hearing her say the same, he relaxed in his bed. Knowing she was coming made him more excited about tomorrow's scenes. He couldn't wait to show her how her story was coming along.

************

Cormery Isle, Cordonia...

Lord Thurston Vancoeur strode down the halls his ancestors had proudly once walked. His typical disapproving expression had hardened. The sounds of tinkling laughter could be heard coming from the back courtyard.

His son, Neville, had invited Tariq and that actress he was with for a visit.

Thurston knew why his son persisted in allowing such a low creature into his home. Neville hoped he would give in to the absurd idea that Lauren Benefield could one day be the Countess of Cormery Isle.

Thurston knew his precious wife, the Marquis of Niort's only daughter, would roll over in her grave if their only son tied his life to someone so beneath him.

He couldn't allow it to happen.

As he directed his steps toward the jovial group, his younger daughter intercepted his path.

"Good afternoon Father." Blair greeted warmly. Her smile turned to a sneer as she glanced at the courtyard doors open. "I know as the lady of our house that I should be out there playing the hostess." Her hands firmed into fists. "But I refuse to associate with that woman."

Thurston took her hand between his and gently patted it. "I understand, my dear. A lady should never have to demean herself to such a task."

Blair lifted her chin. "I knew you would understand. Neville was demanding that I retrieve Arabella and visit with Lord Tariq and his harlot." Her eyes flashed with anger. "As if I would expose our little sister to such a person!"

Thurston felt his own temper simmer past boiling. "Quite right. You and Arabella do not have to join them for anything other than dinner."

Blair pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you." Her bottom lip quivered as she glanced back at the viscount who she secretly hoped would choose her to marry. With her father deciding she was too young at nineteen to be in the running as a suitor for Liam, she had been able to keep her dream of marrying Tariq. But now..."If you will excuse me, I will speak to the cook about tonight's menu."

"Of course." Thurston watched with pride as his daughter left with her head held high. Both his daughters were the image of his late wife and just as mannerly as she had been.

His son had once been a source of pride. Thurston could only come to the conclusion that this fascination he had developed for an actress had to be some form of temporary madness. An illness.

And he was determined to cure his son of such.

"Father." Neville greeted with a smile. "I was just sharing with Ms. Benefield about our extensive wine cellar. She expressed an interest in seeing it. Perhaps you would be open to giving her a tour."

Thurston poured himself a cup of tea and sat down at the head of the table. "A proper lady wouldn't be interested in such." He leveled a steely glare on the young woman. "Unless she suffers with the effects of drunkenness."

Lauren narrowed her eyes. She managed to keep her voice sweet while dealing with the man that stood in her way in possibly gaining a higher titled husband. "In America, proper ladies tour such to admire one's cultured knowledge."

Thurston hmphed. "There doesn't exist such a woman in America."

"Father," Neville tried to laugh off the insults as a joke. "You shouldn't tease Ms. Benefield so. Whatever will she think of Cormery Isle's hospitality?"

"I don't care what she thinks." Thurston forcibly set his teacup down and stood up. "When have Vancoeur's ever worried what those of lesser standing thought?" He stormed back into the house.

Neville chased after him.

Lauren hit Tariq's arm. He jumped and stared at her in question.

"Why didn't you tell that old man off?" She screeched. "He insults me every time he sees me!"

"Lord Thurston has been a second father to me since I was a child." Tariq explained. "I'm not going to tell him how to act in his own home."

Lauren fought against screaming at him. She needed to string him along until Neville made her a definite offer of marriage. She refused to leave Cordonia without a noble title.

Seeing how well Thomas had done for himself by marrying a rich duchess and how well his new film was going, she could not return to Hollywood as the one who not only walked away from what was sure to be the most critically acclaimed film of the year but also to have lost out on two noblemen.

She had already irritated Viktor by not immediately returning to Hollywood. He would find a way to punish her for deciding to remain for another man. He probably would keep the best parts from going to her until he believed she had learned her lesson. She couldn't lose Tariq now. He was her only chance if everything else fell apart.

"I'm sorry darling." She cooed, kissing his cheek. "I didn't sleep well last night and I am taking it out on you." She fluttered her eyelashes. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"I always do." He mumbled. Tariq couldn't help but think of how often he was having to either beg for forgiveness or accept her apology.

"I think I will retire to my chambers for a nap." Lauren said in a practiced cultured tone. She squeezed his hand and left him alone.

Tariq let out a deep sigh. He reached for the teapot and let it clatter back on the sterling silver tray when Blair appeared.

"Mind if I join you?" She asked with a shy smile.

He stood up and pulled a chair out for her. His smile appeared when she fixed him a fresh cup and offered him some of the tiny cakes she knew he loved.

"It's wonderful to have you back with us." Blair told him. "I've missed seeing you each evening. No man dresses as well as you."

He puffed up a bit at her compliment. "I've missed being here with you as well. No place holds such a special place in my heart like Cormery Isle."

She reached for his hand. "You've always belonged with us."

***************

"Father!" Neville said harshly once the study door was closed. "How dare you speak to Lauren like that?"

"Watch your tone!" Thurston snapped. "You forget who you are addressing."

Neville bowed his head in repentance. "Forgive me." He cleared his throat once again. He adored his father and had always had his approval on any endeavor he set out for. He didn't understand why this was not going as all the others had.

Thurston's anger eased somewhat at his son standing before him, properly chastised. "My boy, you will one day inherit my title and all that entails. You and your sisters are what Cormery Isle is. You must always represent it in the best possible fashion."

"That is what I am trying to do." Neville sat down when his father motioned toward the leather chairs by the fireplace. He looked up at his sire. "Lauren has learned how to conduct herself in our social circles."

"Conduct herself." Thurston snorted in derision. "Neville, she is an actress. Her entire life is nothing but a lie. Vancoeur's never shy from the truth no matter how much it might hurt another. That woman might have her hooks in Tariq, much to my dismay, but she will not get them in you."

Neville dropped his head in his hands. "Father, I want her."

Thurston didn't attempt to comfort him. He needed to make him understand. "Then have her."

Neville's head jerked up with hope. "Father! You mean--"

"I mean that if you want her so badly that you are willing to turn your back on your heritage, your family, and your duty; then by all means go to her. Marry her. Have a number of children." His eyes narrowed as his tone turned to one of ice. "But you will never be welcomed to Cormery Isle again. I will make certain you never inherit anything that was once rightfully yours."

Neville mouth hung open in disbelief. "Father, surely--"

"That woman will never hold the title your dear mother once had. I would never insult my beloved’s memory in such a manner." He roared. "And for my son to even contemplate such makes me wonder where I have failed as your father."

Neville stared at him as the weight of his words broke his will. "I--I didn't think of it in that light. I beg your forgiveness."

Thurston refused to be swayed until he heard his son say the words.

Neville stood up and looked his father in the eye. "I will never marry Lauren Benefield."

Thurston eased his stance and pulled his son into a brief hug. "Good lad. I knew you were a reasonable and honorable man." He clapped him on the back. "Once Liam chooses his queen, there will be a number of ladies that we will choose amongst to be the next Countess."

Neville nodded. "I've already been considering some that Liam doesn't spend anytime with."

Thurston beamed at him. "Well done, my boy. Let's make a list and see which lady could bring the most to Cormery Isle."

************

Novosel, Cordonia...

Amanda stepped out of her car and looked around at the number of cameras and film crew rushing about. Jessica and Ryan were in their period costumes, practicing lines while eating. Holly was speaking to a few of the cameramen and Addison was stitching a rip in one of Ryan's jackets.

She searched the crowd for Thomas as she walked closer.

"Hold it right there." A man blocked her path. "This is a closed set." His eyes widened when he realized who she was. “Sorry Mrs. Hunt! I didn’t recognize you at first.”

“That’s alright, Mr.--” she said.

“Just Toby.” He replied with a relieved smile.

“Nice to meet you Toby.” She searched around him. “Any chance you know where my husband is?”

“I saw him go into his trailer.” he told her. Toby pointed toward one set away from the others.

“Thank you so much for your help, Toby.” She smiled at him and hurried off.

She nodded toward some of the crew that called out greetings and then knocked on Thomas’s door. When she heard him call out to come in, she opened it and stepped inside.

“Have you by chance seen a handsome director roaming about?” Amanda asked.

Thomas turned around and swept her into his arms. “Hello.”

“Please sir,” she teased, sliding her arms up his chest. “I must find my husband. I don’t have time for flirtations.” 

He chuckled while kissing her. “I’ve missed you and, surprisingly, your sense of humor.”

“I knew you loved me.” She kissed him once more. “It’s so nice to be back in your arms.”

He softly groaned. “As much as I want to keep you to myself, I also want you to see how the film is going.” He gave her one more tender kiss then took her back outside. 

Thomas gave her a tour around the set, explaining the different scenes they had filmed amongst the rolling countryside. He paused near one of the viewing areas and showed her the dailies from the previous days. 

"Amanda!" Addison hopped up and ran over to hug her. "How did it go after we left? Lauren didn't try anything did she?"

"Not at all. She has been on her best behavior." Amanda explained. She smiled when Thomas pulled her back against his side. "How's filming going?"

"Great." Holly hugged her. "We're working on the scene where Arthur has to tell Elizabeth that he has to leave Cordonia."

"We're taking a break." Addison added. "Thomas wants to film it as the sun sets."

Amanda smiled up at him. "To represent the end of their romance."

"Exactly." He said with a soft smile.

He guided her back toward his trailer. "I just recalled that there are a few pieces of dialogue I want to have you look over."

Amanda stepped inside and let out a laugh when he pulled her into a heated kiss.

"I thought you needed me to look at something." She teased.

Thomas chuckled against her lips. "You're looking at what I need you to."

***************

The next few days seemed to go by quickly, too quickly in the pair’s opinion. Thomas and Amanda worked in the evenings on the occasional rewrites while enjoying being near one another once more.

On their last evening together before he moved the filming to St Orella and she was to journey on to Ramsford, he ended the day's filming early and refused to look at the script anymore. He explained to her that he only wanted them to concentrate on each other. 

The couple decided to spend what time they had left together doing what they enjoyed most. They ordered room service and cuddled up in bed together, watching old movies.

"Another week." Thomas muttered, kissing her neck. "Then the week of the coronation."

"And then I can be with you the rest of the time." Amanda added while turning to meet his lips. "I can't wait until we have nothing to worry about except completing the movie."

"I think you and I should lock ourselves in one of our homes after the premiere for at least three months." He sank into her embrace when she kissed him. "Get away from everyone and everything."

Amanda nodded while unbuttoning his shirt. "Like Olivia's cabin but with no work looming over us and no problems left to resolve."

"And no drug induced kidnapping or inescapable wilderness." He teased while pulling her shirt off.

Her laughter was smothered by his thought stealing kiss. "I wish you could go to Ramsford with me."

"I do too." He murmered as he kissed down her neck. "The only reason I’m not is because I want to finish the ballroom scenes before I return to the palace with you."

***************

Cormery Isle, Cordonia...

Lauren sneaked through the dark and softly knocked on Neville's door. A slight frown formed at the silence she heard when she pressed her ear to the wood.

"What are you doing?"

Lauren spun around while clutching her silk robe closed. "You startled me!"

Arabella narrowed her eyes at her. The teenager had a way of making others feel incredibly uncomfortable under her suspicious gaze. "Must I repeat myself? What are you doing at my brother's door?"

Lauren narrowed her own eyes. "Aren't you a little young to be up, wandering the halls?" She tried her best to fluster the girl by talking down to her.

Arabella rolled her eyes. "I'm fifteen, not an infant. Plus I don't wander the halls of my own home. I go specifically from one room to the next for a purpose." She held up a leatherbound book. "The library was tonight's reason."

Lauren glanced at Neville's door. "I am in need of something to drink and hoped your brother was awake and could assist me."

Arabella quirked an eyebrow. "Really? That's the excuse you're going to use?"

"Excuse me?" The actress snapped. "I don't really see where it is any business of yours if--"

"Oh but it is." Arabella replied calmly. "You're in my home. Bothering my brother late at night." She stepped forward and gripped Lauren's arm, yanking her away from Neville's room. "Allow me to not only help you find a drink but also put you where you belong." Her eyes cut to the one who had stolen Tariq from her beloved sister. "I suppose I can't stick you where you truly belong. It wouldn't be fair to our dogs."

Lauren bristled when the insult registered. She shook off the younger woman's hand and stormed back to her room. She slammed the door shut and locked her door.

She couldn't wait to let Lord Neville know that if he wanted her then he would have to do something about his horrid family.

****************

St Orella, Cordonia...

Amanda finished packing her things as Thomas unpacked his in their bedroom. He paused to watch her as she searched through her ballgowns. Each one she pulled out, she decided against.

He quietly came up behind her and pressed his lips to the back of her neck.

She turned her head and kissed him. "I need to hurry." She murmered half heartedly when he pulled her toward their bed.

"I know." He whispered against her lips.

"You're horrible." She teased, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I need to already be on the road to Ramsford."

"Maxwell and Nadia will understand if you're late." His lips skimmed her ear. "Or don't show up at all."

She bit her lip. "I'll need an excuse."

He smiled against her neck. "You didn't feel well enough to make the long drive out there."

Amanda shivered when he bit down on her earlobe.

"Chill bumps and flushed skin." He murmered while his fingers lightly brushed her heated skin. "Flu symptoms if ever I saw any." He smiled a touch wickedly at her. "I would be a terrible husband to allow my wife to risk her health and those attending the ball by allowing her to leave the house, much less the bed."

She pressed her lips to his. "I guess you better make the call." Her teasing smile flashed. "You do have more theatrical experience than I do."

He took her phone and gently nudged her back on the bed. "My pleasure."