#thx for reminding me .. whoever u are ..

[bloodfiendarling]

ohmy i already got a req ?! o_o

[chemtrailsoverthrcountryclub]

I GET DRUNK ON JEALOUSY!

including satoru gojo & a batshit crazy reader.

content warnings of swearing, slut shaming, threats, hints of insecurity, reader has problems, no use of y/n

notes lmk how we’re feeling ab obsessive reader after u finish this… readers so cheeky. reqs are open. i didn’t proofread this btw so ignore mistakes thx bye

the first times you brought up your concerns to satoru about his obscene amount of female friends, he shrugged you off without a second thought. which led to you going through his phone while he showered and finding various messages of the girls he called “just friends” openly talking about you and your antics.

i dunno how ur not seeing it satoru. all she does is gaslight you :((

u deserve better toru ! there are so many girls out there who would treat u 10x better than wtv she’s doing <3

of course satoru shut down these ideas the moment they were sent, but that didn’t stop you from fighting the urge to gag as one of his friends called him by his nickname. your nickname. an eye twitched as you heard the shower turn off and you exited out of his phone before going back to apply your makeup, satoru coming out shortly after.

“so who do we know that’s going to be there?” it was a joke of a question, really. you knew it all. it was some fraternity horndog hosting the house party, so you weren’t too suspicious.

“probably just like… my whole friend group.” satoru shrugged as he buttoned up his loose shirt, approaching your vanity as you glanced at him in the mirror. you hummed in acknowledgment, nodding slowly.

“so… those girls? god, i just can’t put a name to any of their faces. you’ll have to remind me once we see them tonight.” cocking your head to the right ever so slightly, you made your passive aggressive comment to satoru.

he bent down to kiss your cheek before walking to put on his shoes. “s’not like they matter. you ready to go?”

coincidentally, you do run into one of those girls that happened to be talking about you in satoru’s DM’s. her outfit told you everything you needed to know about her. goddamn skank. the urge to strangle you is so strong— your thoughts are interrupted by satoru pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before murmuring in your hair.

“i’m gonna go catch up with suguru, ‘kay? don’t get lost on me now,” he teased and you grinned, nearly falling in love all over again. honestly, you can’t blame the girls.

satoru’s presence left your peripheral and the girl (still too unbothered to acknowledge their names) opens her mouth to introduce herself before you cut her off with a raised finger and a small smile. “stop messaging satoru,” your voice dropped an octave, and her face went pale. the music muffled your conversation to everyone else surrounding, only pushing you to threaten her further. “talk all the shit you want about me to whoever will listen, but don’t let me see it on satoru’s phone. or i’ll shove a butchers knife down your throat ten times bigger than the dicks you suck.”

you brushed away any lint from your tight fitted top before smiling once more at her, tucking a stray strand behind your ear innocently before turning to see satoru and suguru laughing in a corner. “this was a good talk. hopefully won’t see you around.”

satoru opens his arm for you to tuck yourself under with a smile as he sees you approaching, before placing another soft kiss to your hairline. “have fun, baby?”

“lots.” you grin, “lots of fun.”

[cal-gabes]

RUNNING HERE BC I SAW A POST AND JUST. Y’ALL ARE BEINF SUBJECTED TO MY SOURCE MEMORIES AND IDGAF WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT IT. THESE ARE SILLY 2 ME!!! 😾 (using cat emojis is so fun)

POST UNDER THE CUT SO YOU DONT SUFFER

( Hi! I feel the need to say; I’m aware i’m not my source. I just heavily lean towards it due to the comfort it brings! secondly, if you think i’m weird just don’t interact and move on? you have to SEARCH to find my blog. I don’t tag anything relating 2 my source so it’s kinda ur own fault really. Thx! )

— Ukrainian + Polish!!!!! Born and raised in america BUT YEAH

— I genuinely love sharks and trains; I use to ramble about my favorite shark, the lemon shark, all the time and yes I was punched bc of it (he cared about me I promise/silly)

— Snake bites + center tongue piercing were my dream ngl. still is but you get my point

— I had 1 tattoo and it was a stick n poke I did while high… it was a smiley on my inner thigh

— There was not a day at the kriegman’s that I did not actively try to cuddle with mel. whoever started the allegations that me and her didn’t get along are wrong; i babied her just as much as andre tyvm.

— Low iron would’ve been the death of me if it weren’t for ZD tbh. I forgot my meds so damn often and no, reminders did NOT help.

— Let rachel and my sister do my makeup one time; got deemed “Princess Caralyne” and have not let go of that sense even if i’m FtM. Forever princess caralyne. idc man. 🫶

— I did steal shit from andre a lot tbh. mainly random trinkets I found in his room and he never noticed???? he might’ve but honestly he never got onto me about it so 💀

— Mindlessly pressing my tongue to my cheek. Got yelled at often bc I’d zone out looking at the dumbass while doing it. Yeah…

— OKAY ENOUGH RELATING 2 ANDRE. My favorite thing to eat was pizza even tho i despised and continue to despise cheese. idk it tastes funny 2 me.

— I was forced to play uno with my siblings so many times and lost too many times for my ego to be intact but it still is bc I beat them in everything else.

— Broke my leg once and had to use crutches and threatened to wack someone in the head with them when I’d get fed up…

— DPD, ASD and ADD haunted me like the plague and still do. I can’t escape my suffering man.

— Being deadass, I bit everything I could any chance i got.

OKAY SHIT ABOUT ANDRE NOW + my weird ass relationship w/ him… HI BABE WHEN U SEE THIS ENJOY MY WEIRD MEMORIES OF U REGARDING SOURCE :3

— He had a freckle on the back of his neck that looked like a heart and I 100% kissed it whenever I could. got hit each time and nearly broke my nose too many times… but worth it nonetheless!!!

— Not much of a hugger, but did hold my hand if he thought I needed some form of affection which was nice!

— No, he really did lose it every time I said lieutenant. not just bc he was mad prior. he hated it and I loved to piss him off w/ it.

— THAT MAN NEEDED GLASSES ISTG. HE COULDNT SEE FOR SHIT HALF THE TIME.

— He would stare at people with murderous intent the second they mention any accent from him and it was honestly terrifying???

— Frog blinks. he frog blinked without meaning to and it was adorable. called him froggy for a very long while.

— He bailed me. he bailed me out of jail 3 times and we aren’t getting into that.

— Proper communication? nahhh. avoiding you for weeks then showing back up as if he wasn’t gone at all? mm. that’s it, that hits the spot./silly

I will probably post more shit like this about other stuff too because just wehlehfkdhdkfb happy

[ennaku-sirri-da]

Habit Talks To Kamal On An Intercity Bus [ AU ]

(Plaintext: Habit Talks To Kamal On A Public Bus [ AU ] )

Note: The Habitspeak translation without his speaking quirk is present below for those who have difficulty reading his style. And described the emote expressions as well.

--

[ ID: Photo of a Greyhound bus from the USA out on the road in a clear day. Its dark blue and has a symbol of silver running Greyhound dog as it's logo. End ID]

Ooo..phooo.. phoo.. FWOOO-- HEE HEE!! Haw haw haw OK don't gooo- I will stop :-3 Yourm ears and ur prettie earsring r Safe - but I am jost a funny guy!! Genius-es are so unerrrated now u_u 

Ahem.

So wHAT I really wanna say is ..

I think u r the "knees of bees" ..the 6 of them

I wonder y that's a quote...there's nuthin much speshul abt those..u deserve better..like..hmMMMMMMmmmm

Bee bee bee ba-bee?? Ur my bb?? Yes U r!! U hav heard that b4 buthough... bees...they sting me sometims nd die... im forgetting to bury them :-( B4 Tunia makes "CPR"...between u n me dear, I think she likes slurpin em up...anyway its TOO sad! it happens when I take care of my Garden, where bees r of gr8 importance. They rub-a-dub themselfs on the flowers to get the gold dust for polly-nation..in skool I learnt that Bombus terrestris and Antirrhinum majus hav what's called a "co-evolveution"-- they're friends with bee-nefits!

I dream I also listened 2 the lesson's rest.. o, wish, acksually. AFAIK was thinking abt making a PokéMans card for u.. 

--What? Oh, I see. No it's not embrassing. U can ask me anytime, am happy 2 claritify.  Sooz, the common names areee bumble bee and ..the flower..um.. crapdragon. I do'nt know whats wrong with whoever diss-covered that 1. Habit Tip! They shuld keep all their windows locked tight and seal the crawl space.

Is the other thingie clear? U already know? Ok. Eye...lost my thoughts-train. What was I chuggin on about? Helppp a guy out dahling? 

HEY I HEARD THAT.. " Seeeni khhaaai aaaase "?? Don'tnot understand whole mumble but ime NOTTT putting butter on U PROMISS!! It's you're fault your so ez to love. Work on it. 

( Note to any readers who wouldn't already know: " Seeni khai aase" is an Assamese slang expression. Seeni means sugar and the whole phrase means someone being too sweet to you, butter-coating things. )

I can see ur smile u know. Ur already in-operative.

LAFFING NOW REALLY REALLY--Ugh just PLZZ tell me what I was talking b4 it poofs FOREVER!! 

Mmm..mhmm ..uh huh..O alright. Yes!! Thatse it!! Such a good listen-er. <:-)

B4 u asked me that, I said "friends"..u r my very bestest friend...

..am I yours?

Thx for reminding me. Am trying. Not to keep asking those things. Let It Flow, like u said. I remmeber. 

U counted??? I-- 

its only been the 3rd tyme this week??? Huh that's good proggerss-But why did u-- how--I don't-- *Leaf it. I'll lose what I was saying Again. All these years and u still manage 2 SirPrize Me. Lolol, I guess it goes both ways !! 

Oh, HA ha, the lucksy '3', U say! Uncle back in Moscow used to ballyho-- 

This iz a bit of a Tang-Ent acksually. U want to hear? 

K. Just tell me "fri-end" after i-end. I'll continue. 

-- b-ally-ho if the sum of the 3 odd-place dijits on a busket-- I mean bus ticket-- = to the sum of 3 even-place digits, it is a luck charm!! A Real (una)Live Leningrad ticket. 

Of coarse...we can't never get 1 on this cramped lil Greyhound. Pffffft. 

(Yawnnn) Were'nt u spposed to tell me some-thing...

Hmmm..??

Uh...I can't hear youuuu....

Sorry..? Again?

What was--

WOa, woa there...Dearie me! I get it! Try to clam down..str-eee-ss isn't helpthy for the body ha.. I heard ur "FRIEND!!!" VERY loud n clear

--They can't. Bc everyones ears are BUSted from the early-ier parkinh "Phhsst". Get it? Ha ha?

Eeeeeeee...!! Goodness me I lurve ur laugh…looks like i maked u feel better after the noize… :\\-)

Oh! Ha ha! What, me? No-Thinggg,, I didn't "mutter" anyth-ing,,,

Hmm?

Aha. try nawt’ta do-it again, OK, man? I accept your apollogee about the interccept…

Anyway uh!! Ur one o' those 2 me obvs( a FRIEND)!! Even if we r feeling a lil awkward rite now!!! 

andso.. no also..what's more..the, flowers! r my friends too... 

Hrmm..Ain't nothin better than when stuffs we cherryish come to-gather huh? Transalating 2 Nerd Language heeehee..call it...you..."I'm writing a Cross Over, "! 

OK SO

Heer me out- ‘’Cross Over’’- of…of…m-ie dear FRIEND~~ Mhmm. You-you!!

AND…ANNNND..Guesss!! GUESSSSSS GUESSS HAWHOOO OOO OO

Flowers…and m-ie dear FLORRRAAAA~~ Mhmm. You-you!!

( GIF description: A white lotus blooms in water. GIF is watermarked with 'Zadenkai' end GIF Description )

--To be continued, maybe! If you have any questions you can ask. I'd usually give a HCs explained section but I'm kinda tired right now.

-- Translation below

Ooo..phooo.. phoo.. FWOOO-- HEE HEE!! Haw haw haw OK don't gooo- I will stop :-3 ( catlike smile emote ) Your ears and your pretty earring are Safe - but I am just a funny guy!! Geniuses are so underrated now u_u ( mock-resignation closed eye emote )

Ahem.

So wHAT I really wanna say is ..

I think you are the "knees of bees" ..the 6 of them

I wonder why that's a quote...there's nothin' much special abt those..you deserve better..like..hmMMMMMMmmmm

Bee bee bee ba-bee?? Your my baby?? Yes you are!! You have heard that before but, though... bees...they sting me sometimes and die... I'm forgetting to bury them :-( (frowning emote ) Before Tunia makes "CPR"...between you and me dear, I think she likes slurpin' 'em up...anyway its TOO sad! It happens when I take care of my Garden, where bees are of great importance. They rub-a-dub themselves on the flowers to get the gold dust for pollination..in school I learnt that Bombus terrestris and Antirrhinum majus have what's called a "co-evolution"-- they're friends with bee-nefits!

I dream I also listened to the lesson's rest.. oh, wish, actually. AFAIK was thinking about making a Pokémans card for you.. 

--What? Oh, I see. No it's not embarassing. You can ask me anytime, am happy to clarify.  Soz, the common names areee bumble bee and ..the flower..um.. crapdragon. I don't know whats wrong with whoever discovered that 1. Habit Tip! They should keep all their windows locked tight and seal the crawl space.

Is the other thingie clear? You already know? Ok. I...lost my thought-train. What was I chuggin' on about? Helppp a guy out dahling?

HEY I HEARD THAT.. " Seeeni khhaaai aaaase "?? Don't understand whole mumble but I'm NOTTT putting butter on YOU, PROMISE!! It's your fault you're so easy to love. Work on it. 

I can see your smile you know. You're already inoperative.

LAUGHING NOW REALLY, REALLY--Ugh just PLEASEE tell me what I was talking before it poofs FOREVER!! 

Mmm..mhmm ..uh huh..O alright. Yes!! That's it!! Such a good listener. <:-) ( smile emote )

Before you asked me that, I said "friends"..you are my very bestest friend...

..am I yours?

Thanks for reminding me. Am trying. Not to keep asking those things. Let It Flow, like you said. I remember. 

U counted??? I-- 

its only been the 3rd time this week??? Huh that's good progress-But why did you-- how--I don't-- *Leave it. I'll lose what I was saying Again. All these years and you still manage to surprise Me. Lolol, I guess it goes both ways !! 

Oh, HA ha, the lucky '3', U say! Uncle back in Moscow used to ballyho-- 

This a bit of a Tangent actually. You want to hear? 

K. Just tell me "friend" after I end. I'll continue. 

-- ballyho if the sum of the 3 odd-place digits on a busket-- I mean bus ticket-- is equal to the sum of 3 even-place digits, it is a luck charm!! A Real (una)Live Leningrad ticket. 

Of course...we can't never get one on this cramped lil Greyhound. Pffffft. 

(Yawnnn) Weren't you s'pposed to tell me something...

Hmmm..??

Uh...I can't hear youuuu....

Sorry..? Again?

What was--

WOah, woah there...Dearie me! I get it! Try to calm down..streeess isn't healthy for the body ha.. I heard your "FRIEND!!!" VERY loud n' clear

--They can't. Because everyone's ears are BUSted from the earlier parking "Phhsst". Get it? Ha ha?

( Eeeeeeee...!! Goodness me I love your laugh…looks like i made you feel better after the noise… :\\-) ( blushing smile emote ) )

Oh! Ha ha! What, me? Nothinggg,, I didn't "mutter" anything,,,

Aha. try nawt’ta do it again, OK, man? I accept your apology about the intercept…

Anyway uh!! You're one o' those to me obviously( a FRIEND)!! Even if we are feeling a lil awkward right now!!! 

andso.. no, also..what's more..the, flowers! Are my friends too... 

Hrmm..Ain't nothin better than when stuffs we cherish come together huh? Translating to Nerd Language heeehee..call it...you..."I'm writing a Cross Over, "! 

OK SO

Hear me out- ‘’Cross Over’’- of…of…my dear FRIEND~~ (singsong) Mhmm. You-you!!

AND…ANNNND..Guesss!! GUESSSSSS GUESSS HAWHOOO OOO OO (laughing)

Flowers…and my dear FLORRRAAAA~~ Mhmm. You-you!!

(Plaintext: Flowers…and my dear FLORRRAAAA~~ Mhmm. You-you!!)

--To be continued, maybe! If you have any questions you can ask. I'd usually give a HCs explained section but I'm kinda tired right now.

[rkived]

year 22 (m) — jjk

‘‘I knew you’d be standing in my front porch light, and I knew you’d come back to me.’‘ 

Pairing: childhoodfriend!jk x f!reader 

Genre/Tags: angst!!!, drama, a lil fluff, f2l, e2l-ish, pining, slow burn, smut

Rating: M +18

WC: 11.5k

Warnings: time jumps, underage drinking, jk being a douchebag for most of the fic, reader can’t catch a mf break, mention of character death ((no major one tho)). smut in the form of oral (f. receiving), fingering, nipple play, unprotected sex ((wrap it b4 u tap it y’all)), my being called pretty kink making a brief appearance soz

A/N: i listened to cardigan for the first time n had it on replay the whole time i wrote this so ig u should do it too ! this is my first time posting smut on here but who would i be if i didn’t throw in some good angst ? also tysm to @periminkle​ for being my unofficial beta reader n checking it up for me, she knows i’m constantly looking for her validation n i def wouldn’t post this if she didn’t love it ilu vira thx for being the best ever mwah !!! 

You’re five, cowering behind his mother’s legs, sniffing as tears stream down your face. In front of you both stands Jungkook, there’s remorse written all over his face as his mother stares him down with hands on her hips and a look that just screams that this is only the beginning of his punishment. 

‘’Apologize to Y/N right now Jungkook, or I’ll have your father have a word with you,’’ she threatens with a stern tone, making her son quickly shake his head no. ‘‘You need to learn how to share your toys.’’ 

You peek behind her lanky leg and find the slightly older kid looking at you with narrowed eyes, ‘‘I’m sorry, Y/N.’’ He apologizes with a bow, but he’s obviously displeased with the whole ordeal. 

His mother sighs and Jungkook pouts at the look on her face. She urges you to come out from your not-so-secret hiding spot and to go back to playing with him, even though you seriously doubt that will do any good to what just happened. 

Jungkook’s bedroom door is kept open as he sits back down on his city patterned carpet, you twiddle with your thumbs and stare at the Spiderman poster on his wall. There’s an awkward silence between you two until you feel a toy bump your crisscrossed legs. 

It’s the shiny red car he had refused to lend you before, provoking an argument between you two which eventually made you run out of his room in tears as you ratted him out to his mom. 

‘‘Wooow,’’ you whisper in awe, taking the car in your hands with so much care, treating it like it’s one of your newest dolls. 

Jungkook huffs, crossing his arms as he looks at you with distaste and he’s forced to settle with other boring toys as you giggle to yourself, making the car follow the carpet’s tracks. He learns then to never trust his mother again. If she ever says she’ll bring a new friend for him to play with again, he’ll refuse wholeheartedly.

He doesn’t like sharing his toys, and it’ll probably take him a long time to learn how to.

You’re nine as you hand Jungkook one of the multiple Valentine’s Day cards you carefully crafted the night before with your mother, adding all kinds of pretty stickers and shiny glitter to make each one of them unique. His is different from the rest, though. 

You added hearts to the dots in the I’s, there’s a hint of your favorite body splash enveloping the pink construction paper and it fills Jungkook’s nostrils with so much force that he feels he could gag at the smell. 

‘‘What do you think?’’ You ask the fourth-grader with a big smile on your face, cheeks tinted with a light shade of red as you see him reading the little message you wrote inside the card.

Jungkook lets out a mocking chuckle, ‘‘Are you serious? You like me?’’ He asks you, but it doesn’t look like he’s looking for answers. Your smile slowly fades away, looking at him with glossy eyes, ‘‘I don’t like you, you’re just a dumb little girl.’’ 

His card was the one you had invested the most time in and yet it only took him a second to crumple it with his hand, and another five for him to toss it into the trash can near you before he goes back to his group of friends in the school’s playground.

You learn how to hold your tears in then, thinking it’s a great accomplishment and that maybe now he’ll stop calling you a crybaby.

His friends receive him with high-fives and he smiles with gratefulness because they just saw how much of a badass he can be. Once recess is over and everyone’s going back to their classrooms, Jungkook nears the garbage bin where he had thrown the Valentine's card in, but finds it’s now dirty with yogurt someone tossed inside. 

He grimaces at the sight and sighs, there’s no way he can save it now.

You’re twelve and you’re the only girl in the treehouse who hasn’t gone through puberty yet. It wasn’t something that bothered you until just recently, when it became pretty evident why none of the boys would even give you a onceover compared to the other girls.

“I don’t know if I want to play,” you mumble after Kim Jihyo suggests playing spin the bottle. You’re the only one who opposes the idea, though you could count Jungkook in given as he just sat there without saying a word.

Park Yerim rolls her eyes, “You’re so boring, Y/N!” The comment makes the rest giggle as you pout at being the designated party pooper. 

It’s all fun and games of truth and dares to whoever the bottle lands on and you’ve been lucky enough to avoid the tip of the plastic Coca-Cola bottle to point at you, until it lands on Jungkook who has done a few funny dares so far.

“Alright, Jungkook, let’s make things even more fun!” Jihyo announces since she’s been the one who has assigned most of the embarrassing challenges and questions, “I dare you to kiss one of the girls here for ten seconds.” 

The dare makes the boys cheer with excitement and the girls gasp with anticipation, hoping one of them is the lucky chosen one. Your lips part slightly as you stare at him sitting across from you, he’s clearly not comfortable with the dare, but knowing him, he won’t express his current discomfort. 

His eyes land on you as you stare back at him with concern, hoping that he’ll speak up to avoid himself the embarrassment. Has he even kissed someone before? If this is his first kiss, you’ll witness it alongside everyone else and you can only imagine how terrifying that must be. Even though Jungkook’s always been a brave kid, you can always tell when he feels under pressure.

“Uhm, I’ll uh—�� Jungkook keeps staring at you and you feel your heart start to beat like you just ran the usual ten laps around the gym in P.E class. Are you about to have your first kiss? With him? 

You nod your head absentmindedly, a sign to let him know it’s okay for him to pick you from all the other developed girls who probably have more experience kissing than you do, but it’s okay because you’ve always been a quick learner. 

“Yeji,” Jungkook says after what feels like forever, though it’s only been a mere few seconds, “I’ll kiss Yeji.” He adds, removing his eyes from yours and settling them on the girl with the high ponytail and pink colored nails. 

You bite your bottom lip hard, breaking the dry skin as you feel yourself taste blood. It doesn’t matter because no one’s paying attention to you and instead they’re focused on Jungkook’s neverending kiss with Yeji. 

When you get home that night, you look at yourself in the mirror and frown at your lack of everything. Is this the reason as to why he hadn’t picked you? 

You’re fourteen and Kim Taehyung just sent you a message through MSN in which he confesses to have feelings for you. Your eyes widen, rereading the message several times, rubbing at your eyes just to make sure you’re seeing things correctly. 

You run off across the street to Jungkook’s house, ringing the doorbell quickly for someone to open up. You’re greeted by him looking at you with an annoyed expression, he had to pause his GTA game to come and open the door. 

“What do you want?” Jungkook asks harshly, crossing his arms as he stares into somewhere that’s not your face. He’s anxiously waiting for you to spit out whatever it is you’re there to say. 

You calm yourself down by breathing in deep and out, blowing the air right at him, “Does Taehyung like me?” You ask him, making Jungkook’s eyes widen in surprise and his brows to raise. 

His reaction tells you that you might’ve just discovered a secret you weren’t supposed to and it only makes your heart beat even faster because if it’s true, then this is a pleasant surprise. Kim Taehyung is one of the hottest boys in the tenth grade and he happens to be one of Jungkook’s closest friends. You think he must know something since you see them hanging out at lunch.

“Uh—I don’t know, Y/N.” Jungkook mumbles, rubbing at the back of his neck, finally looking at you and he feels a gut wrenching punch in his stomach at the sight. “Taehyung isn’t a really good guy, you shouldn’t—“ 

“What are you saying?” You interrupt him with a question, confused as to why Jungkook was painting a negative picture of his friend. “He was really sweet with what he said, he thinks my eyes are pretty when they sparkle — I didn’t even know they did that!” 

Jungkook grimaces and sighs, there’s really not much he can do here. You’ve always been so stubborn, so relentless. No matter how many times life tries to tell you something’s not meant for you, you challenge each and every one of it’s obstacles until you take what’s yours. 

“Okay, then what are you gonna do? Date him? You haven’t even had your first kiss yet.” Jungkook reminds you with a mocking tone and you furrow your brows together because, how does he know that? 

You stammer, “I-I have! I had it at camp last summer, actually!” That’s a lie, but he wasn’t there so he can’t prove the veracity of your statement. “And what do you care? So what if I want to date him?” You add with anger, not understanding why couldn’t he just support you in search of true love. 

The thought of dating Kim Taehyung had never crossed your mind, thinking he was way too out of your league for him to ever notice you. But that confession sitting in your MSN chat now served as a nice feeling of knowing you aren’t as invisible as you think you are. 

Jungkook scoffs, “Taehyung would never date you, okay? He’s older than you, he’s cool, he goes to parties and has kissed almost every girl in his grade, do you think he’d really like someone as boring as you?” He doesn’t mean to be so harsh, but you’re just so difficult and impossible to get through.

Jungkook’s used to the trembling bottom lip and the teary eyes that you give him everytime he says something that definitely strikes a nerve within you, but he’s always impressed on how you always refrain from crying in front of him. Last time you did that you were both kids and he probably took the last lollipop from your batch of collected halloween candy. 

“Screw you, Jungkook,” you say through gritted teeth, and if looks could kill, he’d be dead already. 

He looks at you quickly stomp your way back to your house, only heading back inside once you slam your front door shut. Jungkook enters his room to find two new messages in his MSN.

$$ kIm tAaEhyYyuNG $$: it worked! 

$$ kIm tAeEhyYyunGG $$: she fell for it xDxD where did u even come up with the sparkly eyes thing?? that’s gold bro rofl 

Jungkook sighs, ignoring the messages and shutting his computer down.

You’re sixteen and you’ve been invited to your first party. Granted, it was Jungkook’s, but he knew that if he didn’t ask you to come you’d probably tell on him with his mom. No matter what age he was, he’d always fear his mother’s scolding. 

“Drink this!” Park Jimin says with his beautiful smile and you’re starting to realize why they gave him that very same superlative on the school’s yearbook. You take the red solo cup without any second thought, placing the rim straight to your lips and choke once you feel the liquid burn your throat. 

“Ugh—What’s this?” You ask, cleaning the droplets of liquid around the corners of your mouth. 

He chuckles, “Fruit punch!” The liquid is indeed red like the familiar drink you’re used to, but there’s definitely something else mixed inside. “Oh, and vodka,” he adds with wiggly eyebrows as he shows off the small flask he was hiding in his sweatshirt’s front pocket.

You gasp and hand him the cup back, “No, I don’t drink alcohol, sorry.” Jimin rolls his eyes and it reminds you of the many times you’ve received this same reaction from your classmates before. Always a party pooper. He’s about to take the plastic red cup from you until you quickly drink the spiked punch in one go.

The boy howls in excitement, “Woo, go Y/N! Another one coming right up.” 

Jungkook knows he should be making sure everything’s alright downstairs. If his mother notices there’s at least one misplaced object, she’ll know right away something went down in her house while her husband and her were away for the weekend on an emergency trip to their hometown. Leaving him unsupervised only because they both believed their son was old enough to tend for himself.

But Jung Eunha had dragged him into his room with the excuse of wanting to see what it looked like, but the mini tour had turned into them kissing on his bed and Jungkook is thankful he changed his Spiderman sheets in exchange for some boring plain grey ones. Eunha smells like fresh mint and Jungkook is way into his head to focus on properly kissing her.

It’s not until his bedroom door is abruptly open, slamming against the wall that Jungkook literally jumps to his feet, making Eunha gasp as they both look at the person who has interrupted their awkward makeout session. 

“Guk-ah, what are you doin’?” You curiously wonder, a hiccup following right after which makes you giggle. Jungkook’s chest rises and falls with quickness as he notices you look different from the last time he saw you twenty minutes ago when you were talking to Jimin. “Guk-ah, were you—you kissin’ Eunha?” You ask once more after not receiving an answer to your previous question.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asks in concern, coming closer to analyze your weird state. You stretch your arm out to avoid him from nearing you, making him falter in his place as he studies your expression. 

You hum, “Guk-ah, you busy. Sorry,” you apologize in a shy tone, ready to head back down and have more of that fruity alcohol punch you now found tasty, but you stumble and only avoid yourself from falling by holding onto Jungkook's door frame, he’s already reaching out by then. 

“Are you fucking serious, Y/N? Get out!” Eunha complains with irritation, getting up from the bed and ready to kick you out of his room, but his free arm stops her from getting near you. “Whu—?”

“Eunha, go back down. I’ll deal with her myself.” Jungkook says as calmly as he can, thinking three’s a crowd and dealing with you wasn’t an easy thing in of itself. She’s about to argue, but he interrupts her again, “Go down, now.” 

She rolls her eyes and bumps her shoulder against yours harshly once she steps out of his room, “Whatever, that kiss was shitty anyway.” 

He pretends he didn’t hear that and takes you in his arms instead, dragging you to lay on his bed as you cuddle into his favorite pillow and hug it close to your body. How much did you drink? Why did you even do it in the first place? Jungkook knows you’ve never tried alcohol before, which means he’ll be in big trouble if you show up back to your house like this. 

When you open your eyes hours later, your head hurts and it feels lightweight when you move it side to side. The room you’re in is familiar, that spiderman poster is still hung on the wall, but there are no more toys laying around the floor; they’ve probably been stored somewhere in his garage or sent off to a donation center under his mother’s demand.

The pillow that you’re hugging smells just like him and any other day you’d hold on to it tighter and inhale his scent like your life depended on it, but you abruptly sit on the bed as you’re reminded of how you got here. The action is not appreciated by your dizzy head, but you look around the room to notice how dark it is and there’s no more music playing downstairs. 

You quickly jump to the ground, only to hear a “Fuck, ouch!” from below, stepping on Jungkook’s leg unintentionally. It makes you gasp, looking down to notice the older friend laying on the cold floor, having gotten rid of that childhood carpet of his. His head’s laying on a makeshift pillow made out of a towel and he’s trying hard not to shiver. 

“I’m sorry, sorry, sorry!” You quickly apologize, stepping away from his figure as he soothes the shin of his leg you stepped on. “Jungkook, what happened?” 

He sighs, “Someone decided to drink like five cups of spiked punch knowing damn well it was their first time drinking alcohol, stepped into my room like a crazy person, and then crashed on my bed like they—What’s with the face?”

“Bathroom.”

Jungkook grimaces while he holds your hair back, you’re throwing away all the liquid you had taken with a few additional snacks you had munched on earlier, “Are you done?” He asks in a tired mumble and you shake your head no.

He feels guilty that you’re in this position. He didn’t even want to kiss Eunha, but she was one of the most popular girls in his grade and he knew that if he turned her down she would most likely put a bad word in with the rest of the girls and the guys would make fun of him for being such a wuss.

That would’ve been better, because after laying you down on his bed he had to go down and tell everyone that the party was over, putting an excuse that the neighbors had warned him and threatened to call the cops. They all cleared pretty quickly, but he knew he was going to be the butt of the jokes come Monday. He even had to call your parents to let them know you had gone home to a friend’s house for a sleepover, which he knew wasn’t totally believable, but it had somehow gotten them convinced that their daughter was alright because they trusted Jungkook to never hurt you ever. 

Once you feel like you’ve puked your stomach out, Jungkook hands you a pill accompanied with a glass of water and hands you clothes of his that might be more comfortable to sleep in. 

“Good night, Jungkook,” you whisper once you’re laying back on his bed, still hugging the pillow he preferred to sleep with. He makes a sacrifice to make it up to you. 

His back is going to hurt by the time the sun comes out in a few hours, but it’s okay if it means you’ll sleep comfortably after the events of tonight. “Good night, Y/N.” 

He’s unable to sleep, but finds entertainment in your hanging hand beside his bed. The skin on your palm looks soft and there’s this strange urge inside of him that makes him want to grab your hand in his, but he refrains. 

To calm the current chaos in his head, Jungkook finds peace in the light snores coming from his bed.

You’re just about to turn eighteen and your date to the prom is Jeong Jaehyun, who had only asked you out a day before the event because the girl he had initially wanted to take had been asked and he didn’t have a plan B. 

Jaehyun is okay, at least he managed to get you a corsage that matched the color of your dress. He even smiles in the pictures your parents take of you both as you awkwardly try to look comfortable with his arms around you even though by then you had only exchanged a few sentences. 

The prom’s theme is Summer Nights and you think it’s fitting considering this is the very last event before the graduation ceremony, meaning that you’d most likely never see most of these people ever again. You had purposely applied to a college that was outside of your hometown for that same reason. You’re ready to live the life you’ve always wanted to live, without anyone judging or knowing you. 

Your date spends most of the night talking with his group of friends as you’re left alone on your table, looking at your well manicured nails. You knew you weren’t going to get the same prom experience the high school kids on T.V enjoyed, but you at least hoped it would’ve been a little more fun than this.

A tap on your shoulder makes you turn around to see Jungkook trying to loosen the tight tie around his neck. He looks incredibly handsome and you suppose his mother helped him pick the suit out, Jungkook rarely ever wore fitted clothing, so this is one of those once in a lifetime moments..

“Hey you,” you say and he gives you half a smile, wondering why you’re sitting by yourself at an empty table when everyone else was either mingling or dancing. “Where’s your date?” You ask with curiosity, you’re surprised that Jinsoul isn’t trailing alongside him given how she had behaved for the past week ever since he asked her to come with him. 

“Retouching her face or something,” he answers casually, “what are you doing sitting here? Where’s Jaehyun?” Jungkook asks.

You shrug your shoulders, “Don’t know, probably talking with the guys of the basketball team. He’s been gone for a while.” Not like you care, anyway. If your conversation with him inside his car on the way to the venue had been any indication of what it would’ve been like for the rest of the night, you’re glad he's not here trying to make any more small talk with you.

Jungkook huffs, thinking he’ll kick his ass if he sees him. He had asked him to invite you so you wouldn’t come alone, and yet here you are, sitting all by yourself while the douchebag’s making a social life somewhere in the crowd. He calms down once he notices how unbothered you are by it, though. You’re a big girl now, you’ve been through too much to be affected by something as simple as this.

“Is there something you wan—“

“Dance!” You interrupt with excitement and Jungkook chuckles.

“I was gonna ask if you wanted something to drink, but—alright, let’s dance.” Jungkook can’t dance for shit, but you took lessons when you were younger and he can still remember how you’d always show him the routines you learned in class. He’d always boo you, but in reality you were pretty good. He wonders why you stopped, he doesn’t recall you ever telling him.

It’s just his luck that once you both step into the dancefloor, the hired DJ stops the up-tempo song playing before and switches to a much slower romantic one, “Alright everyone, I want all the couples on the dancefloor for this one.” 

You step away from him with nervousness, it’s couples only after all. But Jungkook holds onto your lower back firmly, pulling you closer into his space. Your eyebrows raise as your lips part, “Uh, s-should we, uh—?” 

“It’s just a song, Y/N. You wanted to dance, then we’ll dance.” He tells you with such confidence it makes you feel like this is totally normal and something all friends do. All the known High School couples are dancing together, heads tenderly placed over chests and chins resting lovingly above them. You wait for Jungkook to take the lead because you have no clue of what you should be doing, you might’ve taken dance lessons years ago but you’ve never slowed danced in your life. 

Jungkook places his hand on your hip, the touch makes goosebumps crawl in your arms. He pretends he doesn’t notice it as he takes your right hand in his. You stare at the way he delicately holds it like it’s his mother’s fine china. “Place your other hand on my shoulder,” he instructs and you do as asked, your palm coming to rest on the strong muscle. 

He’s only slowed danced once before at a family member’s wedding where his mother taught him how to, with her as the teacher. Back then he thought it was incredibly ridiculous, but now he’s sort of glad that happened because he’s the teacher now and you’re now looking at him with your big eyes as you sway alongside him. 

You clear your throat, “This isn’t that hard.” Jungkook nods as he stares down at you, noticing how uneasy you are given that you’re looking at everything and not entirely immersed in the moment.

“You look beautiful tonight.” He says out of nowhere, making you look at him like a deer stuck in headlights, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He had never called you that before. 

An awkward laugh escapes your lips, looking away from his intense gaze as you try not to take his words too literally, “Ha ha, that was a good one.” To you there’s no other explanation than this being one of his mean pranks on you.

But Jungkook doesn’t falter both his words and gaze, “I’m not laughing.” There’s seriousness in his voice and you have to look back at him again just to make sure he really isn’t, “You look beautiful, just take the compliment.” You nod and there’s silence between you two after that. You’re digesting the romantic lyrics that the singer is talking about and hope that the song ends soon, because you’ve never been this close to him and it’s starting to feel too crowded.

You clear your throat, “So…” 

“So…,” he repeats. 

“What are you doing for summer?” You ask him in an attempt to break the tension and wanting to take advantage of the little intimate moment since Jungkook rarely ever lets you pry into his private life. 

“I think I’ll train before heading off,” he answers. It was more than obvious he was going to earn that sports scholarship he had been aiming for, he was one of the best athletes on the school; though you considered him to be the number one between them all. “I’m kinda scared, not gonna lie.” 

You look at him with surprise, tilting your head to the side, “You’re scared?” You ask in disbelief because as long as you’ve known him, he’s never been scared of anything. This is the same kid who instilled your fear of monsters in a closet after watching Monster’s Inc. together, also the same kid who helped you get over it after he realized you had actually taken it seriously.

He chuckles lightly, “Yeah, I’m just scared about starting over.” It’s interesting how his biggest fear is the one you’re looking forward to the most, but you suppose it’s fitting for someone who has never had to worry about what people think of him. In this town, Jungkook has swam freely without any concerns. Out there, he’s just another fish in the big and scary ocean. “Aren’t you?” He questions, hoping that you’re able to relate to what he’s feeling. 

“Honestly, I—“ 

You’re interrupted by Jaehyun clearing his voice in front of you two, making you both turn your heads towards his direction. You quickly separate from Jungkook and he feels his body lose the warmness you were providing. 

“If you wanted to dance, you could’ve just asked. I’m your date after all.” He says smugly and you chuckle awkwardly, nodding because he’s right. 

Jungkook wants to punch his stupid face, how dare he interrupt you both when he had been ignoring you the whole night? Why does he suddenly want to dance with you when he’s probably still upset at him for asking Jinsoul to the prom before he could?

“Your date’s looking for you, buddy. She doesn’t look too happy.” Jaehyun adds with a smirk as he takes your hand in his and drags you away from Jungkook towards another place on the dancefloor. 

He’s left to stare at the way he holds your hand, and he only hopes he’s doing it ever so carefully. 

You’re twenty when Jungkook sees you for the first time since you both left for college two and half a years ago. He’s rendered speechless when he spots you in the crowd, there’s a manly hand around your waist as you giggle into the stranger’s mouth before placing a kiss to his lips. 

There’s only so much social media can provide him, pictures and stories aren’t enough for Jungkook to keep up with you. He thinks you’ve changed, not only appearance wise but you seem way more outgoing, carefree, and happy. Did he miss the boyfriend announcement picture? He’s sure he didn’t, he checks your profile almost every day and he’s never even seen him in any of your stories. 

A gasp escapes your lips once you spot him, completely forgetting about the possibility of bumping into him given that both your schools were playing against each other that night. You tell Namjoon you’ll be right back and he nods, going back to a conversation with the group of college friends you had made. 

You surprise him by jumping into him, arms around his shoulders as you hug him from behind. You let out a shrill of excitement and he blushes as his friends chuckle at the unexpected approach from this unfamiliar girl. 

‘‘Jungkook! You didn’t tell me you’d be here,’’ you say once he turns around to face you and he’s able to see you better upfront. You look beautiful and he thinks the Instagram pictures are not doing you enough justice. You’re glowing, and it has nothing to do with the highlighter you applied on your face and collarbone area. 

The both of you aren’t able to properly talk until you suggest moving to a different area, Jungkook apologizing to his friends as he explained he needed to catch up with an old friend. They don’t complain and instead shoot him teasing looks and small pervy comments that go by unnoticed to you. 

Jungkook listens with intent to your ramble about what you’ve been up to. From your courses, to your roommates, the parties you’ve attended, and even the fact that you handle your alcohol better now. He’s happy that you seem so too, but it irks him that you hadn’t been capable of telling him that you had a boyfriend now. Is there a reason as to why you omitted that important piece of information? 

‘‘And what about you? How’s college?’’ You ask with curiosity. 

He blinks a few times, realizing you had stopped talking about yourself and was now wondering about him instead. ‘‘It’s fine,’’ he answers with a tight lipped smile, the lack of detail compared to you was astonishing, but even though you were still hungry for more you decided not to pry any further. 

There’s fear in revealing that he’s been having a hard time catching up with the rest of his peers. College was indeed fine, but it could be better. He’s settled with the idea that this is as good at it’ll get, some things just aren’t like you expect them to be. At least you’re happy, and that fact brings him comfort. 

‘‘Was that your, uhm─boyfriend?’’ He finally asks after a while, both about to head back to your respective group of friends. 

The question takes you by surprise, looking at him with raised eyebrows and mouth agape. ‘‘Who? Namjoon?’’ He nods, though he doesn’t know anything about the guy he had first seen you with. You let out a wholehearted laugh, ‘‘Hell no, too many commitment issues with that one,’’ you answer and Jungkook’s forehead creases with confusion. 

Why were you kissing him then? 

‘‘We’re friends with benefits,’’ you inform him as if you had read his mind. ‘‘He’s a nice guy, though. Also, super smart, he’s helped me with a few of my─’’ 

‘‘You’re not a virgin anymore?’’ He abruptly asks, disbelief in his tone as he internally screams to himself for thinking out loud. Jungkook expects you to berate him about such an imprudent question, but is surprised when he sees you giggling. 

‘‘Duh, silly. I think I lost it freshman year?’’ The carelessness in your voice makes him look at you like you’ve gone crazy. Why are you so lax about this? Why are you telling him about losing your virginity without a care in the world? ‘‘Anyway, are you going to be home for the─’’

Jungkook interrupts you once again, ‘‘Was it with your boyfriend at the time?’’ He asks in genuine curiosity and you sigh, rolling your eyes slightly at him. 

‘‘No, it was some random dude at this party I went to. Could you please─’’

‘‘Y/N, are you insane? Why would you give up your virginity to some fucking stranger like it’s nothing?’’ Jungkook’s voice raises as he scolds you about being so negligent about yourself, ‘‘You can’t do shit like that!’’ He fumed, making you let out a breathless chuckle. 

‘‘Could you stop treating me like a fucking child for once in your life? I’m perfectly fine, Jungkook. I’ve been doing pretty well for myself without you here, actually. I don’t know why you think you have a say on what I do, is it the entitlement you have of me that you still carry around because we grew up together? Because if that’s it then you can drop it, I let go of my little girl who wanted a friend and was treated like pure shit in return complex a long time ago.’’ 

He knows you’re right, but he thinks he’ll always have this odd sense of protection over the five year old girl who cried to his mom about not lending her his favorite toy. He’ll always want to apologize to the eight year old girl who declared her love for him with a Valentine’s Day card while he ended up breaking her heart in exchange. He’ll always wish to look for help within the twelve year old girl who witnessed him give out his first kiss to another girl who he didn’t even like. He’ll always feel guilty towards the sixteen year old girl who had gotten tipsy on a spiked fruit punch and crashed on his bed. He’ll always hate himself for not asking the seventeen going on eighteen year old girl to prom when he knew he could’ve, but chose not to in fear of ruining your friendship. 

You only wanted someone to be there for you growing up and Jungkook had never been the brave boy you thought he was, always running from his fears in hopes he’d have a wide advantage margin from them. Yet here they are, standing right in front of him in the form of a twenty year old you, and they’re there to let him know that you’ve never needed him, yet he’s always needed you.

He can’t even apologize, he only looks at you with wide eyes as he fidgets in his place. Either you’re both too old now to understand each other or you just realized that you’ve outgrown Jungkook. 

Your mouth set in a hard line as you crossed your arms, the night’s breeze feeling colder than usual. ‘‘I miss you Jungkook, but I can’t keep playing this cat and mouse game with you any longer.’’ 

You leave him behind to go back to Namjoon’s arms, seeking refuge in his sweet embrace as you try your hardest to put on practice what you learned all those years ago when Jungkook broke your heart for the first time, you should be used to it by now.

You’re twenty-one when you’re back in your hometown to attend the funeral of the old lady down the street, the one that always scolded you and Jungkook growing up. 

You had been scared of her as a child, but always following along your friend’s footsteps when he proposed playing around her garden. It tugs at your heartstrings even if you hadn’t known the woman well. Her death was imminent seeing as she’d been ill for quite some time. 

A taller figure stands next to you as you both stand way in the back of the ceremony. He looks tired and you figure that it’s because of the fact he arrived late into the night, you heard his car’s engine from your bedroom window. Dressing in all black, you notice he bought a new suit. You’re sure that the one he wore for prom no longer fits considering he’s bigger now. 

You haven’t talked to each other since last year when you both left off on a sour note. The hurt you felt was no longer present, though. You chewed on your bottom lip as you thought of a way you could talk to him again without making things awkward, but you let out a small gasp once he placed his arm around your shoulders, giving it a small squeeze as he sighed and kept his focus on the service. 

Watching the casket be lowered into the ground felt weird. She was a human being just like you, but her existence was a reminder of your childhood. Would it be okay to say that her death meant a part of you leaving with her too? 

Once it hits you, it’s Jungkook who consoles you by hugging you tight. Your eyes are too blurry with tears for you to realize this is one of those rare moments where he’s holding you close without hesitation. He lets you ruin his tuxedo’s jacket with your mascara covered tears as he brushes your hair as a sign of comfort. 

You know things are back in order when he proposes the idea to go back to the old lady’s porch, for old times sake. ‘‘Will we ever let her rest?’’ You ask him with a small laugh as Jungkook sits on the doorsteps of the old lady’s empty home, opening the bag of candy worms he bought at the grocery store. 

He shrugs, ‘‘She loved us, always told my mom how much she missed us running around the street.’’ The revelation makes you smile, hoping it was true. He pats the empty space next to him, indicating for you to fill it up with your presence. Once you do, you feel the familiar warmth of his proximity. 

Jungkook seems different and you only hope he’s changed for the best. 

‘‘When are you going back?’’ You ask him with curiosity, hoping that he’ll be in town for a few more days so you can catch up with him on a better note this time around. 

He munches on one of the snacks, ‘‘Tomorrow morning, I have training camp and can’t miss it.’’ His answer makes you sigh with disappointment, but you nod nonetheless. ‘‘What about you?’’ He asks in return, and you inform him that you’ll stay for a few more days to spend time with your family. There’s silence after that and Jungkook can only offer you the gummy worms in the bag, you take one with a small thanks.  

‘‘College fucking sucks,’’ he says out of nowhere and it makes you look at him in bewilderement, ‘‘I hate it there, I wanna drop out so bad. But I’m a year away from graduating so it’s too late now.’’ You see his shoulders visibly relax, like a weight had been lifted off them. ‘‘Plus my mom would kill me if I do so,’’ he adds with a chuckle. 

Last time you asked everything was fine. Had things changed or had they always been this way and he was just now being honest with you?

You rest your head on his shoulder and focus all of your undivided attention on him as he keeps rambling about what his life has been ever since he left this town. He’s had bad games, bad grades, and bad girls. But he’s also had incredible games, good grades, and a couple great hookups, and yet he still feels empty, it’s not enough. 

‘‘I miss you,’’ he mumbles as he faces you, ‘‘I’m sorry for being such a shitty friend, you deserved better.’’ His apology is genuine and you can feel it in the way his voice trembles, sincerity has always scared him after all. 

Jungkook’s never known when the time is right, and he misjudges the look on your face. When he leans down to press his lips against yours, he’s blinded for a mere moment into believing that you wanted to kiss him just as much as he had been waiting. 

You abruptly separate from him with wide eyes and parted lips, ‘‘Jungkook, I’m─I’m dating Namjoon now.’’ He can physically feel his heart shatter, the revelation coming out like an old newspaper headline he should’ve read a long time ago. 

He lets out a breathless chuckle, ‘‘He got over the commitment issues?’’ The rhetorical question is bitter. 

You scoff, ‘‘And what about it? I preferred to wait than to rush into getting my heart broken.’’ Plus it’s not like you were expecting Namjoon to grow feelings for you, the whole no strings attached arrangement was named that way for a reason. 

Jungkook looks at you with narrowed eyes and he shakes his head sightly. Old habits never die down, still so stubborn and challenging as ever. 

He’s startled as you stand abruptly, fuming as you look at him, ‘‘I don’t even know why you care! Did you forget that you threw my Valentine’s Day card into the trash? Or that you kissed Yeji in front of my face? Or that you let Taehyung date me as prank between your friends? Or that you were making out with Eunha while Jimin kept giving me alcohol? Or that you asked Jaehyun to take me to the stupid prom even though I was perfectly fine going without him or anyone for that matter?’’

‘‘We were just kids!’’ Jungkook argues back at you.

‘‘It still fucking hurt,’’ you counter, ‘‘still hurts, actually. You think that by giving me a measly apology and kissing it better I’ll suddenly forget about all of it?’’ Jungkook knows it won’t ever make up for all those years, but he had at least hoped you’d be willing to give him a chance. 

He wishes he could say something else. Explain that he had just tried to protect you in his own shitty way from everyone else or himself maybe, he doesn’t know anymore. He wants to speak up again, but there’s disappointment written all over your face, you’re not angry at him...just saddened. 

‘‘Hope you have fun at your training camp.’’

Jungkook watches as you leave him sitting by himself on the old lady’s doorstep. A hand runs through his hair as he feels his eyes water, and he can almost hear a whisper in the wind that asks him why he didn’t stop you when he could’ve. 

Jungkook didn’t think that his family coming together with yours for Christmas dinner would’ve been a great idea. You’re cold to him at first and it’s fitting for the winter weather, but as always it only takes for him to sit next to you for things to warm up again. 

It’s with the excuse that you’ll run over to your house to grab a new bottle of wine from the kitchen counter that Jungkook trails behind you, both slightly tipsy on the different alcohols your families had offered each other. 

Years have passed since he last stepped foot inside your home, you used to visit him more often than he did anyway. It still smells and looks the same; the only difference is that there’s new pictures of you hung up on the walls, updated accordingly to the changes you’ve made ever since you left off for college.

You’re sporting a big smile in all of them, which in exchange makes him copy the action as well. His lack of presence in your life has done you better than compared to when he was around, and if that’s the case, then at least he did something right. 

There hasn’t been much said since the beginning of the night, just a simple hey out of courtesy. There’s so much he wants to say, but with no clue where to begin. Another apology is due, though he thinks it’s a little too late for that. He also wants to ask about what you’ve been up to since he last saw you, are you still dating the Namjoon guy you had told him about after he kissed you? If he’s still there, Jungkook rather keep quiet and not wonder out loud to you, he’s sure that it’ll hurt if it’s true. 

Growing up Jungkook always mistook your bravery with stubbornness and your courage with relentlessness. You’ve always been challenging, but only because you wanted him to do so too. It’s moments like this that prove him that you’ve always been the stronger between the two.

‘‘So, we’re just gonna pretend like nothing’s wrong between us?’’ You ask, speaking directly to him for the first time that night. It makes him look at you like a deer stuck in headlights, surprised by the sudden question and out of all the years of knowing each other, he feels small under your gaze for once. ‘‘How much time is it going to pass until you want to finally talk things like adults?’’ 

Jungkook gulps the lump in his throat, his brain quickly thinking of the right thing to say, ‘‘I just wanted to protect you from─’’

‘‘From what? From you? Everytime you’ve done that I end up getting hurt in the end. I’m left to pick the pieces up by myself,’’ you interject with anger in your voice. ‘‘It fucking pisses me off that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you kissing me, I haven’t stopped thinking about you and─’’ A sigh, you close your eyes to center yourself again as Jungkook waits for the final blow, ‘‘and you look like none of this has ever bothered you in the slightest because, you don’t really care about me do you?’’

‘‘I do care about you.’’ He’s sure about it, even though he’s been extremely bad at showing it. 

Even though your eyes are threatening to spill tears, you still muster up the last bit of what’s left of your courage to step closer to him until you’re a few inches away. ‘‘Prove it, then. Show me that you care.’’ 

His brain is sent into quick overdrive due to your close proximity. There’s a slight hesitation because he only hopes that what he’s about to do is what you’re demanding him to prove. He doesn’t care if you’re still dating the Namjoon guy because he’s settled with the idea that it’s okay if you don’t correspond, it’s not like he did the same to you when you were both younger. 

Once his lips press against yours, there’s no turning back. He’s waiting for you to push him back and let him know that your heart’s still taken, but you kiss him with such fervor that he knows in that moment that you’re right, it’s better to wait than to rush right in. 

It’s no fairytale kiss, though. There’s desperation in the way you chase his lips, as if you were to slow down he’d find a way to escape from you. You grip the cotton material of his crewneck into your small fists, holding on to the fabric like your life depended on it. The small kiss you had both shared last year was nothing compared to this, and Jungkook’s taken aback by your neediness. 

He doesn’t know how you manage to drag him to your childhood bedroom without missing a beat, only separating once you both realize you need to catch your breaths, and even then Jungkook can’t have a minute to take just happened in because your lips attach to his neck to get more of a taste. His fingers curled around your arm, sighing at the way your kisses felt like electricity on his skin. 

‘‘Y/N,’’ he calls your name out in a breathy tone, but you’re too immersed in your little bubble to even realize it. 

Jungkook groans when you bite into the skin of his neck, then blowing over the red mark as you kissed it better. It’s going to be bruise and he doesn’t like when that happens, but he’s not bothered at all if it comes from you. He forcibly grabs your chin so you can face him, looking at him with big eyes, a small pout, and with your chin messed with drool. 

It’s then that Jungkook kisses you hungrily, making you feel like you’re in a dream-like state,  though you could partially blame the Christmas eggnog for that. The way he bites at your lips and how your tongues clash together is an extreme juxtaposition as to how you could describe this moment. It’s as if you’re floating on air, clouds surrounding you in a heavenly embrace, angels singing in the background every time his hands touch, grab, hold and caress every part of your body. And yet, even with such a difference, it’s perfect because it’s Jungkook. You’ve been waiting for this too long, which is why your hands creep beneath his crewneck, touching his tonified abdomen tentatively and enjoying the way goosebumps arise on his skin at the sensation of your fingers trailing patterns wherever they caress.  

It’s only fair that he pays attention to yours as well. Jungkook’s lips trail from your mouth onto your jawline, planting wet kisses on each space until he begins sucking on the skin of your neck, making you moan in the process. He chooses then that his new favorite sound is the way you voice out the pleasure he gives you. ‘‘Hurry up,’’ you say, ridding the bottom of the crewneck higher over his stomach, making him shiver at the sudden change of temperature. 

Jungkook chuckles before completely getting rid of the material, ‘‘Calm down,’’ he sighs as he gives you a sweet smile, ‘‘You know our moms could talk forever.’’ 

You ogle his chest, admiring the way his training camps have obviously done wonders to his body. ‘‘It’s not them I’m talking about,’’ you correct him with a teasing smile that only makes his grin grow wider, chuckling at your impatience. Jungkook lets out a small gasp of surprise when your hands grasp at his shoulder blades, turning him around so you can back him until the back of his knees hit the edge of your bed. It’s funny how he lets himself be bossed around by someone who’s way smaller compared to his frame.

Jungkook finds leverage on his elbows splayed against the mattress, your knees resting on each side of his hips as you leaned into him and kissing him just as widely as you had done before. Jungkook could fill just how quick things were escalating, especially the way his crotch area was beginning to become a problem he couldn’t possibly control at the moment, not with your own being directly on top of it. In any other situation he would’ve apologized with an awkward laugh, but his breath hitches once your hips start grinding over him.  

His hands make their way on the inside of your knitted sweater, provoking goosebumps on the exposed skin. You let out a shaky laugh, halting your movements so you can quickly get rid of the fabric as Jungkook’s eyebrows lift in surprise at your haste and then at the sight of your bra covered breasts. His hands are still steadily placed on each side of your waist, only brought up because your own had redirected them over your breasts, hoping he gets the message on what you want him to do now.   

Jungkook hesitantly squeezed one of the round globes, provoking a small moan to come from out of your lips. He wishes to hold you as close as he possibly can because the idea of ever being away from you again has been his main fear as of lately. But he refrains, you look so delicate and he feels like you could easily break. He stares at your body lovingly and your cheeks heat up at the way his eyes ogle your chest like a kid in a candy story. You give his arm a light slap and he chuckles, leaning over you to place a passionate kiss on your lips.

“You’re beautiful,” he says frankly. It doesn’t help to dissipate the flush on your face, but the compliment doesn’t bother you in the slightest. Jungkook leans in to trail kisses past your collarbones and into the swell of your breasts, making you bite your lip with anticipation. He looks at you asking for permission and you nod quickly with parted lips as you start to become impatient for him to make his next move. Jungkook lowers the cups of your breasts, freeing your hardened nipples and immediately envelopes one of them with his lips. “Mph—!” A sigh escapes your lips as you try to memorize the way his tongue traces over your tit. He pays attention to your other one, fingers rolling over the bud and pinching ever so often. 

You can feel your panties damp by then, trespassing into the fabric of the black leggings you’re wearing over them. Reaching behind your back, you fumble in unclasping the hooks of the now uncomfortable bra. Jungkook’s forced to stop the undivided attention he had places on your breasts to look at you like he’s lost, why are you going so fast? 

Once your hands delve with the buckle of his belt, he has to hold on to your wrists with a firm grasp, ‘‘What are you doing?’’ He asks with quick breath, you blink stoically towards him. 

‘‘Uh─getting you naked?’’ You answer with a nonchalant tone, but his hands don’t let go and your demeanor changes, ‘‘D-Did you not want this?’’ Your voice turns smaller, embarrassed that maybe you had pressured him into something he didn’t want to participate in. 

Jungkook quickly shakes his head no, ‘‘No, I-I do want this! It’s just─you’re going so fast,’’ he tries to explain, ‘‘I’ve been waiting for this for too long, I don’t wanna rush.’’ Your eyes lit up at the revelation as he waits for you to answer back, only for his back to hit the comforter with a small thud, giggling at the way you urgently kiss him again, but this time with much more care. 

‘‘Why didn’t you say so before, stupid?’’ You mumble with a sheepish look, ‘‘I thought it was just going to be─nevermind, I need you right now.’’ You have to force yourself from spitting out any details that could possibly ruin the moment between you two, deciding to wait instead for any emotional confessions you want to make. 

He switches positions between the two, panting as he brings you down to the mattress and Jungkook can feel the goosebumps on your skin, whether from the coldness of the room or because of the sheer electricity of his hands caressing your body like it was molded just right for him. He dips his hand lower, cupping your clothed heat on his hand. It makes you tremble and you whine, encouraging him to keep going. 

“Baby, you’re really wet,” he comments with a teasing tone and you pout at him. His fingers hook into the waistband of your leggings and he pulls them down as he travels with them, greeted by the sight of the damp cloth of your panties. He exhales with content, caressing your thighs in an up and down motion. You twist underneath him and he has to hold your hips down to calm you down, “Patience is a virtue.” 

“I’ve been too patient, do some—Ah!” Your whining is interrupted once Jungkook moves your underwear to the side holding it with his free hand, fingers coming to trace the slick covering your pussy lips. He becomes entranced with the transparent gooey liquid, bringing them close to his face as he separates his fingers and sees a strand connecting between them. “Guk-ah, p-please…” Your needy voice brings him back to reality, delving his fingers back into your exposed heat but this time with intent. 

Jungkook’s thumb lifts the hood covering your clit, mouth coming down to give it a small tentative kiss. That action alone has you writhing above him, it makes him chuckle to himself as he dives back in. The moans you let out are loud and clear inside your bedroom, thankful that it’s only you and him inside your house. Your hand pulls at his hair, making him groan against you and the vibrations are felt throughout your body, only adding to the euphoric pleasure you already possess. His fingers trace the inside of your thighs until they reach your entrance, circling the fluttering hole which makes you pull at his hair harder and with your other you hold on to the bedsheets of the comforter tightly into your fist. 

Jungkook’s tongue is still working your engorged bud, but he focuses his eyes on you as he dips the first finger inside you. “Oh—fuck,” you let out in a breathy moan. He tries to maintain a rhythm between his two ministrations, but it’s hard when he wants to focus on all of them at once. “‘Nother, please,” you begged once he let your clit rest, quickly following your request by adding another into your warm heat. He lets out a breathless chuckle as he notices how easy it is to thrust both fingers inside of you, your whole crotch area is covered in slick and his wet chin is a dead giveaway to where he was seconds ago. 

He watches you unravel over him with such adoration, not even his wettest dreams or dirtiest fantasies could prepare him for this. Seven minutes in heaven he plans to stay in forever. “Guk-ah, I wan’ you. I-Inside, please.” You plead with teary eyes, and he slowly stops, removing his arousal covered fingers from inside you as he makes you sigh in the process. He kisses you again and again, your hazy brain is probably hallucinating all of this right now, but damn is it good. You tug at the crewneck he’s wearing, he’s too overdressed for this occasion. He tends to your demands, quickly getting rid of all the layers of clothing that stop him from being inside of you fully. 

“I don’t have a—“ 

“I’m on the pill.”

You both speak at the same time, making each other chuckle. Jungkook gulps at the idea of taking you raw as the first time together, and you salivate at his hardened length; the head already oozing precum out and you want nothing more than to wrap your lips around it and lick the tip up. You’re just about to when Jungkook quickly grabs your wrist to stop you from reaching him, you look up at him with the big sparkly eyes he has loved for too long. 

“I just—I wanna be inside you right now,” he sheepishly admits, and you smile with a nod; sharing the sentiment. You back up until your head rests on the pillows comfortably, relaxing into the mattress as you wait for Jungkook to ready himself. He places a kiss on your lips before placing a hand next to your head, using it as leverage above you. His free hand takes his cock and rubs the tip along your folds, making you squirm with anticipation. Jungkook chuckles, “Are you ready?” He asks with a sweet smile. 

“I’ve always been,” you whisper, your hand tucking a strand of his long hair behind his ear. 

A caress to his cheek as he nods, slowly pushing the head of his dick into you. You bite into your lip hard, it’s been a while since you had sex with someone and Jungkook’s size and girth was different from the rest. Your walls are tight around him and he has a tough time trying to reach the hilt with you squeezing him so hard, “Baby, relax for me.” He pleads and you nod apologetically, breathing in deep as you feel him reach parts inside of you, you didn’t know existed. Once he’s all the way in, he waits for you to give him the go ahead while he presses kisses into your heated cheek. You wrap your legs around his waist and give him a nod, letting him know he was allowed to start thrusting.

Jungkook manages to hit all the right places, keeping a steady pace as he enters and exits you each time. You’re left to moan and writhe underneath him, letting him take you as he pleases. Your kisses become messy, teeth biting into each other’s lips, teeth grazing against each other as you both tried to fight for the dominant position. It’s that heavy makeout that incites you to push at his shoulders, making him turn in his back, exiting you in the process. Jungkook pants, chest rising and falling with quickness as you straddle his lap, arms connecting behind his neck. 

“You always want to win, right?” He chuckles with half lidded eyes, enjoying the way your pussy lips grinded over his twitching length. You bat your eyelashes at him, offering him an innocent smile. The same technique that used to get you everything you wanted when you were younger. Same determination as you seek for what’s yours. He’s under you after all, still a victim to your charms.

Jungkook takes the bulbous head of his cock and teases it in your clit, if you weren’t holding on to him tight you would’ve collapsed into his chest. And by the way you moan his name out, he knows you’ll always look for him no matter the weather. “What a pretty girl,” he coos into your hair and you pinch his nipple in retaliation which only makes him groan in return. “My pretty girl.” He states before sinking himself deep into you again, sighing at the feeling of your hips circling over him. His rough hands guide them as you bounce up and down his length, moaning every time you rose and hissing when you came back down. 

He makes sure to keep this image engraved on his head forever. Your breasts bouncing over his face, your thighs working extra hard to keep up with his thrusts, and the way your sounds bounced off the walls of your bedroom. 

“You’re doing s-so good, baby.” Jungkook praises you, kneading your ass cheek. “Taking my cock s-so well,” he falls into a trance of admiring the way his length would appear and disappear inside of you, covered in a thick layer of your arousal. It makes him drill into you faster, sitting properly against the bed’s headboard as he takes your hips with force. He’s too turned on to keep treating you so delicately, and the way you moan and pant at the increase in speed only lets him know you enjoy him like this way more. “I-Is it good, baby? Am I-I fucking you well?” He asks in between rapid thrusts, your thighs had given out by then. 

You nod and a whimper escapes your lips, “Y-yes, Guk-Ah. S-so good, feels amazing.” Your praise is honest, the fucked out tone in your voice is a clear indicator of how well of a job he was doing. A minute longer and you’ll be right on cloud nine, never wanting to come back down. “Wanna cum Guk-Ah, plea—“ There’s no need for you to even finish your sentence because his thumb rubs your clit in figure eights, making you groan with the intensified feeling of his hips circling inside you deliciously. You can almost see the blinding white light ahead as Jungkook kisses you feverishly. You feel tears escape the corners of your high, the familiar feeling tickling inside you as Jungkook’s thrusts don’t let up. ‘‘Ah! Yes, yes, fuck,’’ you cry out once your orgasm hits. Jungkook holds you close to his chest, trying to soothe your shaking body with his arms. Your walls squeeze and relax continuously around him, it serves him as the impulse he needs to chase his own high. 

‘‘I love you, Jungkook,’’ you confess in between panting breaths, ‘‘so much.’’ 

His release shoots out and he groans, digging crescent moons into your hips. You hiss at the sensation, but giggle at how his eyes are screwed shut and brows still furrowed together, as if he was holding on to the last of his orgasm. In reality, Jungkook is just hoping that once he opens his eyes you’ll still be in his arms. Your fingers tilting his head to face you are very much real, he sees spots once he opens his eyes as they adjust to the room’s lighting. 

‘‘I love you too.’’ He says with a fixed gaze and you coo at how perfect this is.

You’re twenty-two when Jungkook’s finally yours.

You’re both twenty-three and it’s another weekend spent at his apartment, he’s been playing for three hours now and you’ve given up on having him pay attention to you. Deciding to switch your plan around and join him instead, if only he would let you play.

‘‘Jungkook, you said it was going to be my turn five rounds ago!’’ You complain with a pout, crossing your arms across your chest. 

His gaze is still stuck on the T.V screen, ‘‘Baby, shhh, you’re gonna make me lose.’’ He mumbles as he tries to remain concentrated on the game in hand, but he can hear your humph’s from behind him, ‘‘Patience is a─’’

‘‘Virtue, yeah, who cares.’’ You interrupt him with a roll of your eyes, familiar with the saying a little too well. ‘‘Hope you remember that for later tonight,’’ you add in a mumble, but he doesn’t hear it because of the loud sounds coming from the game on the screen. 

‘‘What did you say, babe?’’ He asks with a raised brow, hitting the buttons of the controller with expert ease. 

‘‘I’ll call your mom and tell her you don’t wanna share.’’ You joke with a threatening voice, but Jungkook knows better than to take your words so lightly. He pauses the game and turns to look at you with an are you serious? expression on his face, you giggle as you’ve finally got what you wanted. 

He apologizes by covering your face with kisses, pleading for you not to tell on him with his mom. You promise not to do so this time, knowing that the woman was probably tired of having to scold his son at his big age. 

Plus, ever since Jungkook surprised you with the almost exact replica of the Valentine’s Day card you gave him all those year back, you’ve taken advantage to tease him even more knowing he’s at your beck and call. You always remind him that he came close because the stickers he used were not like the ones you had, but he remembered to add the hearts on the I’s so that’s good enough. 

‘‘Alright you can play, but━!’’ He says after he finishes his attack of kisses, ‘‘I’ll be your guide, I can’t risk you messing my record up, no offense baby.’’ None taken as you nod excitedly, you’ll always take whatever chance he gives you. 

Jungkook’s finally learned how to share his toys after all.

[drxwsyni]

How would Yandere Shinsou, Aizawa, and Hawks react to a kidnapped S/O who just questions “why me? I’m fucking useless” and they have horrid self esteem issues, and don’t understand how they can “love” them? Totally not projecting bere

ngl i’d do the same thing, this scenario is def hittin different. ik u sent this in yesterday anon and i usually complete them in order but i couldn’t wait. thx for the request bby i hope you're doing okay, please take care of urself.

_____

Headcanons for yandere Shinsou Hitoshi, Shouta Aizawa/Eraserhead and Keigo Takami/Hawks with a captive s/o with bad self esteem

_____

Shinsou Hitoshi:

Hearing his darling say that would naturally shock him, but he’d end up taking it extremely hard.

It would send his mind racing into a slew of thoughts, trying to discern why they’d be so critical of themselves. Did someone make them feel that way? Who did he need to get his hands on for making them despise their own existence?

There would be a moment where neither would talk after his darling says that, but the look on his face is more than enough to show his boiling anger over the prospect.

Shinsou would not take the realization lightly. “Don’t fucking say that. Who the hell said you were useless?”

He would demand his darling tell him why they feel that way. If they refused, he’d use his quirk to make them. He didn’t like the idea of it―forcing them to tell him something so personal―but he could deal with that after he’d taken care of the scum who’d planted these thoughts in his darling’s head. Whoever was responsible would be met with a slow, excruciatingly painful death―and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

If he finds out that his darling genuinely believes they’re worthless, like if they’re not just a little self-critical, it’d make things so much worse. He’d hate himself for not picking up on it sooner, and moving forward he’d be almost aggressive with affirmations of how important they are to him, being invaluable in every standard.

He knows his darling would likely despise him for using his quirk like that, but Shinsou wouldn’t care. Eventually they’d have to forgive him, or at least forget about the ordeal, because he wouldn’t give them the room to continue thinking the same things after. There would be no space for believing otherwise―they’d become all too familiar of just how capable they are of having someone love them.

He would force them into self-care. It would be frustrating on both ends, especially if his darling puts up a fight, but he would never relent even after he’s convinced his darling finally thinks the same as him.

_____

Shouta Aizawa/Eraserhead:

He’s a stern and calculating man over the matter. Shouta would control his emotions when he’s with his darling. “You’re not useless, why are you being so critical of yourself?”

The exchange would be handled calmly on his end. He’d prefer if his darling would explain why they thought such things, but he wouldn’t push them if they couldn’t handle it. Instead, he’d resolve to figure out the cause himself.

Shouta would take whatever information he had and work tirelessly, not stopping until he pinpointed whoever was responsible for hurting his love.

Once he found the individual(s) in question he’d waste no time dispatching them. Not that he didn’t want to see them suffer, but the sooner he took care of it the faster he’d be able to return to his darling. He’d never tell his darling what happened to them either, it was more important that they forgot about it completely.

Shouta wouldn’t bring the exchange up after that for fear that reminding his darling would only cause more harmful internalization. Rather he’d subtly show more attention over bettering their self-worth.

He’d hold them closer, constantly praising them for anything they did or just telling them how much he loved them. Normally he’s not a man of many words, but his darling would be the exception―they deserved anything and everything in his mind and they’d end up being more than aware of that.

Intimately, he’d practically worship whatever part of his darling’s body that their self-esteem seemed to reject. He thinks of it as exposure therapy―by demonstrating his own admiration for them, eventually the feeling would transfer. And he had no problem repeating the action until that sunk in.

Moving forward Shouta would be very strict if he thought even for a second his darling was still having these thoughts. While he’d be gentle with them, he’d still enforce positive behaviour to help their self esteem.

_____

Keigo Takami/Hawks:

This man would be devastated if he heard his darling say something like that.

Queue panic mode―whatever he was doing prior is dropped until they tell him why they thought that. “Listen baby, I don’t know how you could possibly believe that, but you’re not leaving this spot until you tell me why.”

He’d be true to his word―his darling wouldn't be allowed to move from the subject until they told him every last detail. Keigo would be painfully patient, and in that moment no protests could stop him from finding out the truth.

They wouldn’t be left alone until he was sure they’d told him every last detail. After all, he needed to know exactly who should be held responsible, and what the best way of dealing with them was.

Once he’s got the information he needs he’d be gone in an instant. The man is known for being fast―now would be no exception. He’d track the individual(s) down with ease, a smile on his face as he inflicted whatever punishment he deemed necessary.

If he was smothering before, that would only be amplified tenfold. Once he returns from his little excursion he would go into full on cuddle mode. He’d shower his darling in praise, not letting go of them until they admitted to themselves how worthy of love they are.

It would become a daily routine―making his darling look at themselves in the mirror, him hugging them from behind as they repeated positive affirmations. Whatever they were insecure about―literally anything―would get so much attention.

He never thought anything about his darling was anything less than perfect, Keigo would take their insecurities and demolish them with unrelenting affection.

[loisfreakinglane]

Every month of 2021

Rules: Post your favorite or most popular post from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months). (i def went with most popular posts lol not most favorite at all)

Tagged by @silvertons THX BB!!!!!!!!

this will likely be just a long list of very unpopular dark angel posts lmao but LETS SEE 

January!

lol dark angel OFC! but this one was v real for our quarantine times tho, max and kendra struggling over buying toothpaste during an economic depression. also featuring REALLY BAD TEXT over these gifs omg how did I think this was visible rip our eyes

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/640175798090874880

February

YAAAAAAAY FEMSLASH FEBRUARY!!!!!!!! actually the most notes I got all year i’m like 99% positive. god i love debs. my kingdom for a sequel about them being sexy middle aged lovers flouncing around europe, BUT THEY HAVE TO DO A DIAMOND HEIST

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/643052722938134528/femslash-february-debs-amy-bradshaw-lucy

MARCH

kay i love that the second dark angel set to feature in this list is ALSO kendra/max content. love the relatability of shit neighbors

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/647133353114484736

april.......

lmao I got 3 gifsets, all dark angel, all with the exact same number of notes..... SO HAVE LINKS FOR THEM ALL. 

love how done max is with logan here, also love that THIS is the moment i realized logans gay ex was samantha smith

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/647410456010653696

MAX POPPING THIS BUBBLEGUM IS ONE OF MY FAV MAX MOMENTS OF ALL TIME

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/648123107944660992

oh ngl this is one of my favorite dark angel gifsets i’ve ever made, i love the lydecker max dynamic SO MUCH. def something s2 is lacking, that rly strong villain....... BUT THATS A TOPIC FOR ANOTHER POST lmao

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/647475229104455680

MAY

HEYYYYYYYYYY PEAK SEXY MONTH IG BC ITS A 365 DNI GIFSET!!!!!!! i love this movie and none of u can stop me

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/652297063070056448

june.

aaaahhhhhhhhhhh starstruck!!!!!!!!!! I LOOOOOOVED THIS SHOW SO MUCH

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/654567729574051840/bonus

juLY!!!!!!!!!

MORE STARSTRUCK CONTENT!!!!!!!!!

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/655643306797285376

AUGUST

lmao welp the beginning of s2 dark angel giffing. here’s alec about to murder joshua. but he gives him ham hocks later to make up for it

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/659977205804335104/bonus

SEPTEMBERRRRR

more alec content, max giving him a name. tho now i’m curious if she’d never named him if he’d have gone back to going by simon........ he did have an emotional connection to that name before...... tho maybe it just would have been a horrible reminder of what happened WHO CAN SAY

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/663148065433206784/bonus

OCTOBER!!!!!!!

alec vs the inexplicably blindingly white group of x-kids that i find painful to look at as they are indicative of SOME of the ways s2 drained this show of its whole entire soul but w/e. when he said ‘i wanna get rid of you. and i just met you’ i felt that in my soul actually. i too wanted them gone 

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/664688199708377088

noveeeeeeeembeeeeeeeer

alec just can’t stay away from max no matter how many anvils she throws his way

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/667409910654484480

DECEMBER,,,,,,,,,,,, THUS FAR. 

welp they’re neck and neck and thus u get BOTH, alec posts again

HES GOTTA LEARN TO PAY ATTENTION, AND GUNS ARE WORTH A LUKEWARM SARCASTIC YIPPEE

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/669674846236606464

and he is always alright

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/671215017416343552

THX FOR TAGGING ME!!!!!!!!

and in return i tag!!!!!!!

@bluetiefling @tomwambsganscorleone @saint-cecilias OR WHOEVER SEES THIS AND WANTS TO DO EEEEET I TAG YOU WHO SEE IT YES YOU

[seoafin]

Just wanted to remind you that you're one of the reasons that using this app never makes me feel I'm wasting time. You're one of the very few I'd like to see giving opinions ab everything and the way you express things and use words is so fucking inspiring to whoever that English is their second language <3

english technically is my second language but i consider it my first bc i lost my ability to speak korean when i enrolled in kindergarten and the yt kids made fun of my accent 😁 but!!! i have the utmost respect and love for anyone who speaks english as a second language!!! you are all amazing and i am giving u kisses

people actually like reading to my unsolicited opinions??? smts i feel like i'm genuinely torturing y'all by dragging you guys into discourse after discourse about all the blithe racism in the anime fandom hehe thx 4 bearing me <3

[sunriseindigo]

🏳️‍🌈whoever you hc using neopronouns im curious

:O ah shit forgot to make that post!!! i’ve been busy + stressed these last few days, but thx u for reminding me!!

also i’m too lazy to draw rn so take this instead ^^ (this for the neopronouns gang!!)

utsuro: any pronouns are ok!! (mainly uses xe/xim)

akane: she/shey

teruya: he/ey

kinji: zie/he

satsuki: they/cele

kanata: fae/they/she

yamato: he/xe/ve

[bcwblade]

15 QUESTIONS

tagged by @umtplex​ (thx for tagging me! it reminded me im alive) 

Named after someone? Biblical! Pedro is derivative of Peter and my parents liked the arc he went through in the Gospel. I think Joao (John) or Paulo (Paul) were contenders. 

Last time you cried? It wasn’t over anything sentimental, it was legit just bc an eyelash got caught in my eye and I kept trying to pinch it out. sometimes i also tear up after long nights of gaming and/or writing. 

Do you have any kids? u h... no? But one day, maybe. I hope! 

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Im lowkey kinda an ass irl. I use sarcasm as a default response to simple questions my friends or family direct my way, I don’t use it online bc it’s hard enough communicating through text! 

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Their voice. I’m very sensitive to certain tones/intonations. There’s this one guy in a discord channel I’m in who has a very annoying voice and I p much.... just tune him out whenever he speaks lmao. And if they never speak? Like I’m just checking out a photo of a person? I would say my gaze generally falls on their chin/jawline first? Not sure why. 

Eye color? brown.... dark brown?? (im sorry eddie, i don’t have cool anime eyes like you do) 

Scary movie or happy ending? both?mThey don’t have to be mutually exclusive, you know? I guess some days I can kinda vibe with a tragic end, one that makes me drag my palms down my face and groan in despair but other days I need a dumb, happy end that leaves me smiling but also shaking my head. 

Any special talent? I can sing pretty well and play the piano! I also have a

What country were you born in? Brasil! 

What are your hobbies? Reading and writing. Swimming, playing piano, playing video games ( i lean towards rpgs) and listening to music. Also, being way too analytical for TV shows or Video games and regurgitating lore for people who have made the mistake of giving me the time of day. 

Do you have any pets? I had a bichon poodle who unfortunately passed away a few months ago. 

What sports do you play/have played? I did soccer for a long while before moving on to swimming/water polo in high school. I continued with swimming in college and I still kinda do it today, but not really at the same intensity. 

How tall are you? tall enough that short people think im tall, but not tall enough for, like, the majority of tindr/bumblr. I’m 5′11, my dudes. 

Favorite subject in school? Social Science and English! Love me some history, love me writing some essays. I also liked taking Latin since there was some history in that.

Dream job? A cognitive therapist but also... if I were an editor for a screenplay or video game script, I could vibe with that too. I think no matter what, I just want to help people with something.

tagging: @rosmcrinus​, @blightyh​, @secretsbeckon​, @vinodiriso​ and whoever else hasn’t yet! I did take a long ass time to do this, so it’s likely all of y’all have already done this! 

[astheravensighs]

omg hi!! i read your tags >< it’s not that i’m uncomfy, just really shy LOL but i really appreciate that you’re so careful about others!! either way, i’m interested in hearing about 7, 14, 19 and 25 😌

heck yes i am SO excited to talk abt this stuff tbh lol... #chronicoversharer

anyway! anyone that is uncomfy with spicy/sexy stuff or uneccesarily detailed depictions of my sex life, pls scroll away from this now lol...

other possible tws just in case! slight dom/sub, restraints, general kinkiness and roughness, my absolute lack of shame when it comes to talking abt this stuff, etc lol

I’m on mobile as well and stuff is disappearing as i type ??? so if the formatting is weird or anything is typed twice or not at all i apologize djsksh and let me know if this shows up and you don’t want it to so i can tag it for you!!!!

7. Any favorite positions?

gosh honestly i like just about anything but having two boys to deal with leaves some room for creativity for sure lol,,,, I’m a fan of spitroasting personally bc they still just suck at sharing lol so inevitably whoever’s in my mouth gets jealous of the one behind me and they end up getting super riled up and competitive and it’s just 😍 when it’s just one of them at a time i reaaally like anything from behind or anything a toy can be used at the same time (Dazai is more of fan of toys than Chuuya tho, Chu manages to get jealous of a vibrator more often than not lol)

14: what’s something that usually gets your f/o in the mood?

they’re basically a constant source of horny tbh so it’s not entirely difficult,,

Dazai is super weak to anything new and different, like a cute new outfit (even if it’s totally normal and modest) or a new position to try. the one way to guarantee Dazai getting riled up is when i get shy or flustered by something, like he says something that can obviously be taken as an innuendo and i blush, he’s just like *target acquired* and doubles down till he’s just straight up dirty talking me in the middle of the ADA office lol... Kunikida puts up with too much. I’m so sry pal. remind me to send him a gift basket or smth he deserves it

Chuuya is weak to challenging his dominance for SURE... like

‘hey babe can you hand me that’

‘hmm... nope’

‘...so you wanna play it that way, huh?’

also biting Chu is instant dom activation,, just straight up crunch on his arm and hes like. ah. you’ve chosen death. (death by dick, RIP me) and i have a habit of just. mindlessly chomping on anything that gets close to my mouth?? idk why the fuck i do that djsksh but seein his eyes go from ‘wtf are you doing’ to ‘oh, I’m going to ruin you’ is just... chefs kiss 👌

(personally watching them train or fight in battle is like. welp. after yall are done killing all those people would u pls fuckin ravage me, thx)

19: does your f/o tease you, or you tease them? How you do/they handle it?

Dazai is a whole bastard when it comes to teasing,,, this asshole will tease for so long and then all the sudden an orgasm hits and i don’t even realize till it’s over?? like?? how ??? he will 100% use shibari or restraints, and hes known to do nothing but dirty talk (which he is so good at it should be illegal) and never even touch anything till the whole next day 😤 idk how the hell he does it but it’s definitely worth waiting for bc he makes me go full on feral and just sits there and laughs @ how much i need it fhdkshsksh

when i tease him, well... it doesn’t last long, lol. sometimes if i ask reaaally nice he’ll be the sub for a night but somehow he still seems to be the damn top by how much he makes me fight for every reaction. i could be doin my damnedest and he’d just be sittin there handcuffed to the bed with an eyebrow raised like “that’s all you got?” he won’t even make a damn noise until i give him what he wants,,, Chuuya has never once successfully teased him he just ends up choking him out (jokes on him, hes super into that)

Chuuya... he tries to tease, he rly does..... but he is just not able to control himself like dazai can lol. he can tease for maybe an hour max?? no matter what he WILL need his dick in me at some point so i don’t have to worry abt being totally denied,,, hes just impatient as hell but he has stamina for DAYS so it’s not like it’s over quickly anyway thank god

Chuuya CAN sub and will for Dazai more often than the reverse, so teasing him IS possible... but only if Dazai is also present. after like 5 minutes of teasing he would want to just break out of whatever is holding him down and take what he wants, so Dazai has to keep a hand on him to cancel his ability or he’ll break ANOTHER pair of cuffs and they are expensive goddamnit

25: do you and your f/o hold hands while making love? How tightly do they hold you?

depends on the mood rly!! if it’s sweet n loving n intimate, absolutely. Dazai is more of a hands holding my face kind of guy but it’s basically very much the same,, Chuuya almost always will in these situations, he likes that my hands are teeny and his are huge so he lets me hold his hands for balance too.

when it’s not gentle and sweet it’ll happen in one of my favorite ways tho- usually Dazai’s behind me being super rough n degrading and dominant and I’ll have my head on Chuuya’s lap and he holds my hand and pets my hair and praises me 🤤 i can’t get enough of that dynamic i stg dhskshskshdkd

anyway !!! thank u for asking and i apologize for the insane amount of horny on main lately y’all dhdjdj my hormones are off the charts,,, i hope i didn’t make anyone too uncomfy but that’s what my blacklist tags are there for lol pls feel free to block #spicy bc boy it WILL get spicy :V either way!! thank u for asking !! i didn’t think id get to ramble abt this stuff n i very much like to so hfkhsjdk thank u!!! ❤️

[yoong-i]

put your music on shuffle and expose what your first ten songs are

this was lowkey highkey fun and reminded me that my library is bomb. thanks @et-ecce-mulier for tagging me

1. Jaws on the Floor by You Me at Six

2. Bad to the Bone by WSTR

3. MacArthur Park Suite by Donna Summer (we stan 18 minute long songs)

4. Don’t Blame Me by Taylor Swift

5. Dimple by BTS

6. Black Cat by Mayday Parade

7. Boys Like You by Who is Fancy/Ariana Grande/Meghan Trainor

8. Na Na Na by One Direction (i legit just laughed out loud)

9. Jessie’s Girl but the GLEE VERSION bc GLEE RIGHTS

10. Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler

tag @ whoever wants to do it but i think u all should do this bc it was fun. seriously do it n then tag me so i can see thx

[172salamandersinatrenchcoat]

The Sun Shines Brightest In The Dark

[10:14] Eren: hey, how r u?

[10:22] Levi: Good. Sitting in class right now. You?

[10:24] Eren: suffring thru 1 of my dad’s lectures

{10:25] Levi: Fuck.

[10:26] Levi: I hope you’re alright.

[10:26] Levi: Anything I can do for you?

[10:27] Eren: u already have :)

[10:28] Eren: but maybe dinner tonight?

[10:34] Levi: Sure, when and where?

[10:35] Eren: i’m off work at 7

[10:36] Eren: small restaurant named Wall Rose?

[10:40] Levi: I like the Rose. Okay, I’ll meet you there at 7:30?

[10:41] Eren: awesome <3 i can’t wait

[10:51] Eren: hey Levi

[10:51] Eren: is it alright if i wear a dress?

[10:52] Levi: Wear whatever the fuck you want, brat, as long as you bring yourself.

[11:12] Levi: Eren? You okay?

[11:14] Eren: … i’m good. thx Levi. <3

[11:15] Levi: You’re welcome. Talk to you later.

[11:16] Eren: later

.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.

Eren slowly leaves the public toilet while clicking his purse shut. He pushes his work clothes deeper into the plastic bag in his right hand, then makes his way towards the Wall Rose. His heart is beating like mad in anticipation from the feelings Levi’s text induced within him. It still warms him to his core -- and it made him bawl like a baby for ten minutes after he had received it.

Levi’s too good to be true. Just like a dream in which everything in his life works out for once. Every time he thinks about him, there is a flutter in his stomach and warmth spreads throughout his body. The sight of Levi’s smile alone would be enough to chase away the bitter aftertaste his father’s lecture left in his mouth.

God, Eren has it bad.

He yearns to hear Levi’s voice again, to tell him a joke and make him laugh -- he wants to get Levi, his desires, his fears, his passion. And it scares the fuck out of him, as he has never quite felt like this before. If Armin could see him now, he would probably tease him, but his friend is away at Stanford.

Eren approaches the Wall Rose carefully, looks around if Levi is already there. He sees him sitting on the stone bench at the fountain, his phone in his hand. He’s making such a disgruntled face that Eren cannot help but chuckle as he approaches him. Levi is so obviously distracted by whoever writes him that he only notices Eren when the brunette talks to him.

“You look like you bit into a citrus.”

Levi almost jumps into the air in surprise. His phone slips from his hand. He barely catches it in time.

“Geez, Eren,” he admonishes. “You scared the fuck out of --” Any words he wanted to say get stuck in his throat at the sight of his date. It sends a shiver down Eren’s spine to see Levi speechless because of him.

He’s wearing one of his favorite dresses today. It is an A-line skirt dress in such a dark green that it is almost black. It reaches only down to Eren’s bare knees which are not covered by tights today. Instead, Levi gets an eyeful of smooth skin and long legs. They end in intricate dark brown sandals whose straps wind around Eren’s calves like snakes. The brown haired wig Eren wore during his performance sits snugly on his head again. The wavy brown hair softly cascades down his back. He smiles and blushes under so much scrutiny.

It takes Levi several minutes to find his voice again. “Fuck, you look amazing!” he says while he stands up, obviously flustered. It’s a look that Eren would like to see more often on his face. “I don’t … damn, I don’t know what else to say.”

“It’s alright,” Eren says, grinning like a fool. “You just made my day to be quite honest.”

“And you made mine,” Levi blurts without thinking. His cheeks color. Eren never wants this to end.

Levi stuffs his phone into his bag, then shoulders it. He holds out his arm to Eren like a gentleman. “Shall we, brat?”

Eren loops his arm around Levi’s and grins. “Lead the way.”

.0.0.0.0.0.0.

Wall Rose is a small restaurant built into the wall of a former military base called Trost Base. The base had been built some 200 years ago and is quite a tourist attraction, promising a lot of income to the small establishment. The owner is a guy named Keith Shadis, an ex-military commander that loves to shout orders at his kitchen crew. Under his rule, Wall Rose had been renovated to represent a US government facility as they’d existed before the Independence War all across the country. If not for the tables and chairs that are strewn about the place, it would look more like a museum than a restaurant.

Levi and Eren choose a table in a quiet corner that isn’t plagued by tourists like the rest of the place. A waiter comes by as they sit down to give them the menus, and soon they browse through them.

“Oh, nice,” Levi says suddenly, delighted. “They have Ceylon again.”

“Ceylon?” Eren looks at the name printed on the page. “Isn’t that a black tea brand?”

��Yes,” Levi answers. “It’s from Sri Lanka. Shadis usually bought it from a company specialized in importing it since they were giving him a discount. But two years ago or so the tea plantations in Sri Lanka had a drought and most of the plants died -- so the value shot up and the prices skyrocketed. Shadis had to take it out of the menu.” He ends his rant suddenly. “Oh god, sorry. I don’t usually ramble like this.”

“I think it’s cute,” Eren says, fondness creeping into his voice. Levi had looked so alive while talking about something as mundane as his favorite tea brand that Eren could’ve watched him until the end of his days. It makes him smile. “You really like tea, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Levi’s cheeks color. “I’ve started drinking it as a kid.”

“You’re so passionate,” Eren grins. Making Levi blush is as easy as it is charming. “I wouldn’t mind trying it.”

“Sure,” Levi clears his throat. “What do you want to eat?”

Accepting this change of topic, Eren looks at the menu once more. “I think I’ll take the chicken pasta.”

“Neat. I’m gonna take the fish.”

They make small talk until the waiter comes back to take their order. He brings their tea not soon after alongside a basket of bread slices with garlic cream on the side.The first sip Levi takes makes him moan.

“God, I love that taste.”

“I bet,” Eren says, trying to get his hormones under control. It’s not really a common courtesy to spot a hard-on during the first date. The things Levi does to him with a mere noise, though, are just--

“Aren’t you going to try yours, brat?”

“Er--” Eren is at a loss for words. “Sure.”

He tries the tea and finds it a tad too bitter for his liking, then adds sugar to Levi’s obvious snort. It is quite delicious afterward.

They enjoy their tea in sweet silence until the meal arrives. Levi’s fish is still steaming from the grill, whereas Eren’s pasta smells so delicious that he can literally feel his mouth water. He starts eating with gusto and almost moans himself as the flavors explode in his mouth. Soon enough, Levi is following his example.

“I love the food here,” Eren says after he’d swallowed his first bite. “It reminds me of my mom’s cooking.”

“Was she a good cook?” Levi asks.

“Yeah, the best,” Eren’s spirit seems down for a moment, then he smiles wistfully. “She thought me a few things. If you want, I could cook for you some time?”

“I’d love to have you cook for me,” Levi admits. “I can’t cook for shit.”

“Really? Do you set a kitchen aflame just by walking into it?”

“It’s not that bad yet, brat.” Levi smiles into his tea, Eren can see it through the wrinkles around his eyes. It fairly suits him. “I can do scrambled eggs.”

“Everyone can do scrambled eggs.”

“You make it sound as if I need a degree to work in a kitchen.”

“Not a degree -- more experience, and a helping tutor of course.”

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Levi shoves a forkful of white fish meat into his mouth. “I have a tutor sitting right here if he’s willing.”

“I always am,” Eren says in a sultry tone. It made Levi chuckle.

“Not bad, brat, not bad.”

They return to their meals after the banter, as they don’t want the fish and the pasta to go cold. It tastes delicious, and Eren savors every last bite. When they finish their dishes and only their barely filled teacups remain, Eren tackles the question that he’d been thinking about for hours.

“Say, Levi,” he started. A glance at the black haired man tells him that he has his attention. “Say -- how would you like to go to a movie with me?”

“Sure,” comes the answer, fast as a shot from a pistol. “When and where?”

“Actually,” Eren’s hands become sweaty. He grips the fabric of his dress tightly. “I thought about -- maybe right now?”

“Oh.” Levi looks at his watch. It’s barely nine. The evening is still young and fresh. “Ok.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really,” Levi chuckles while Eren sighs in relief. “You don’t want to go home yet, do you?”

Eren’s silence is answering enough. He feels Levi’s arm slide around his shoulder, then the smaller man is sitting right next to him.

“I’m sorry,” Levi says quietly. The honesty in his voice makes Eren tremble. “I understand where you’re coming from. Having your parents yell at you for reasons that you can’t change without denying your true self seems to be going around.”

Eren laughs. “You make it sound like a sickness.”

“Perhaps it is,” Levi tightens his grip. “You’re wonderful and talented, and if your Dad can’t realize that, then it is his loss.” He sounds so sure as if he had done this before. His parents must’ve been assholes, too. “No one should be afraid to go home.”

“I -- Levi --” Eren doesn’t know what to say. The mere thought that Levi might understand what he feels like is too much. How can it be that someone like Eren got to meet such a good guy who would get him and not mock him for the problems he has. Levi must be an angel, sent from Heaven to brighten Eren’s life. He can’t explain it otherwise.

Before he can stop himself, he has shortened the distance between them and presses his lips against Levi’s unresponsive ones. Levi is surprised by the kiss -- his eyes widen and he goes rigid as a board, but when Eren tries to end it as quickly as it began, he grabs at his head and pulls him closer still before he opens Eren’s lips with his tongue.

Eren’s eyes slide shut. His hands roam about Levi’s body for a second, before they settle at the shorter man’s waist. Eren can feel the softness of Levi’s shirt below his fingers, as well as the hardening body beneath it. Their tongues start a desperate battle. All blood leaves Eren’s head to rush south.

They are interrupted by someone clearing their throat near them and jerk apart. While Eren turns cherry red, Levi levels a glare at the person interrupting them, who happens to be the waiter that attended to them all night. The man visibly shrinks in on himself and then ask in a timid voice if he can bring them anything else.

“No,” Levi says a tad sharper than intended and crosses his arms over his chest. He is not at all pleased by this sudden interruption, but he doesn’t want to have a fall out with one of his favorite restaurants, either. He, therefore, opts for polite neutrality. “We’d like the bill, please.”

The waiter nods sharply before he basically runs off. Still blushing, Eren can’t help but chuckle at his haste. He gently covers one of Levi’s hands with his own and watches the other visibly relax. “You handled that well.”

“Yeah,” Levi responds, then levels a warm gaze at Eren. It makes the brunette shiver despite the warmth in the restaurant. “I was tempted to chew him out, but I happen to like meals here.”

“They are really delicious, aren’t they?” Eren hums. He takes one of the tablecloths and folds it into a square, needs to occupy his hands or else he’s gonna jump Levi right then and there. He can still taste him on his lips.

Luckily for him, the waiter comes within another minute. Levi pays, doesn’t even accept when Eren tries to intervene -- “We could at least share it, Levi.” - “No, this one's on me. You can pay for the movie if you want to lose money so badly.” - “... Fine.” -- and they leave the place naught five minutes afterward.

A gentle breeze greets them. Eren can feel it caress his bare legs as well as the long strands of his wig, relishes in the feeling of breathing in fresh air. He stretches a little and sees Levi watching him out of the corner of his eye. When Eren turns his head, Levi averts his eyes. A blush colors his beautiful pale face.

“Everything alright?” Eren asks teasingly, a grin on his face. At this rate, it will become a permanent fixture on his face, he’s sure of that.

“I just thought -- nevermind.”

“Oh, come on,” Eren bugs. “Tell me? What did you think?”

Levi turns even redder, then clears his throat. “... I thought about how much I wanted to kiss your neck right now.”

“Oh.” Now it is Eren’s time to blush. “I wouldn’t be opposed to it,” he blurts out before he can even think about it.

Levi laughs. “Of course you wouldn't.” He shakes his head for a moment, then looks at his phone. “We should probably get going to the cinema, though. To catch your movie.”

The sudden change in topic throws Eren off-guard for a moment, but then a smile graces his face. There are a lot of things two people can do in a darkened movie theater, after all. “Alright,” he purrs, grabs for Levi’s hand and drags him along. “Let’s hurry then!”

.0.0.0.0.0.0.

They end up expulsed from the cinema for ‘steamy behavior’ halfway through the movie. Eren almost keels over while they leave since he’s laughing his ass off, and even Levi finds the situation weirdly amusing. Once outside, however, the brunette continues where they left off. He urges Levi against the wall next to the exit, takes the other one’s hand and guides it back to where it had slipped under his dress before a security guard asked them to ‘leave’. He finds Levi’s lips once more and moans into his mouth when Levi squeezes his thigh.

“Don’t stop,” he mumbles against Levi’s lips when they break apart for air, then surges back into the kiss. Levi’s hand is warm as it trails up and down Eren’s leg, and he can’t help growing hard as fast as he does. His leg bends on its own accord and wraps itself around Levi’s waist, drags the other even closer than before.

“I don’t intend to,” Levi groans. “You taste so good, Eren.”

Warmth spreads through Eren’s being, and before he can help it his lips are on Levi’s again. One of his hands finds its way into Levi’s hair, nails scraping over the short strands of the other’s undercut, while the second goes to Levi’s own on his thigh. He breaks the kiss and guides it to his crotch. “Look what you do to me,” he whispers.

The reaction is not as anticipated.

Levi tenses the moment he touches Eren’s groin. Grey eyes widen, then dart from Eren’s middle to his face and back. The brunette reads fear within that gaze and slowly uncurls the leg he had partially wrapped around the other.

“Levi?” he asks carefully. Gently. “Is everything alright?”

“I --,” Levi breaks off, suddenly pale, then licks his lips. “I -- you -- Eren you have a dick.”

“Er--” At first, Eren doesn’t understand. Yes, he has a dick, he’s a guy after -- oh. Oh. Of course. His grip on Levi’s hand loosens with sudden realization. “Oh, Levi. I’m sorry.”

Levi shakes his head. He looks oddly vulnerable. “It’s okay,” he says. “I should’ve known. Of course you have a dick. You’re a guy.” And I’m not, goes unsaid, but Eren hears it in the defeated tone of Levi’s voice. He wants to assure him that everything will be okay one day, that he will have a dick at one point in his life. But he doesn’t find the words. Instead, he wraps his arm around the shorter male in a gentle embrace as his arousal bleeds into concern and something else. Something he doesn’t want to acknowledge just yet.

“I won’t like you any less if you tell me that it is, in fact, not okay,” he says quietly. Levi breathes harshly. “I can only try to understand what you feel right now, and I will probably never get it completely, but just know that I care about you and your well-being. If you need time, just tell me.” Another harsh breath that sounds suspiciously like a sob has Eren press Levi’s body even closer. Slowly but surely, Levi hugs him back.

“I’m sorry,” the shorter man mumbles in a voice full of unshed tears. “I didn’t know it would affect me like that but … when I held your … it is hard to explain--”

“Shh, it’s alright. You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“I know,” Levi says. He lifts his head and locks his gaze with Eren. “But I want to give you one.”

“Okay,” Eren only manages, then waits patiently for Levi to find words. He rests his arms on Levi’s shoulders and interlaces his hands behind the shorter man’s neck. Levi’s right hand finds Eren’s forearm and squeezes it in silent thanks.

“... I’m jealous,” Levi finally blurts out. “You were born with a dick and you’ve never had to struggle with what I’m going through and … shit, this is hard --,” Levi swallows harshly. He looks away before he continues, “for a long time, my life was shit, you know? Before I realized that I had been born in the wrong body, I always wondered what was wrong with me. Nothing felt … right. I rarely smiled because I always felt …weird. I can’t really explain it, but -- I … I thought about killing myself for the first time when I was eight. Everyone was expecting me to behave in a certain way, and if I didn’t they were so disappointed in me. They called me names … and they … they ” He breaks off, clears his throat. “I’m sorry. I feel so guilty for being jealous of you.”

“You don’t have to. Feel guilty, that is.” Eren places a gentle kiss on Levi’s forehead. It makes Levi look at him again. “And thank you.”

“For what?”

“For sharing that with me,” Eren answers. “I know it must’ve been hard to admit the truth. Not only to me, but to yourself as well.”

Levi looks at him oddly, then-- “How can you be real?”

“Excuse me?”

“How can you be actually, properly real?” Levi pinches his cheek. The color has returned to his face and he looks a lot more like himself. “I swear, half the time today I thought I was dreaming.”

“... I take that as a compliment,” Eren grins cheekily.

“You better. I don’t often compliment people, brat.” Thank fuck, Levi has returned to normal. On a sudden impulse, Eren places a wet kiss on Levi’s cheek which has the shorter man immediately recoil from him. “Fuck, now I have drool all over my face!”

Eren just laughs.

“That isn’t funny,” Levi chides but doesn’t wipe the wetness away yet. Instead, he takes Eren’s hands in his and looks at him with sudden profoundness. “Thank you, Eren. For listening. I didn’t know I needed that.”

“Anytime,” Eren responds honestly. “And just for the record, we can take it slow. You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

“The same goes to you,” Levi places a chaste kiss on Eren’s lips before he interlaces his right with Eren’s left. “Since we couldn’t finish the movie, let’s walk around until you feel comfortable enough to go home.”

And there it is again, that warm feeling that spreads through him whenever he is in Levi’s presence. Eren takes a deep breath and smiles. Together, they walk into the night.

To be continued.

Part 1 | [Part 2] | Art for Part 1

[mairieuxes]

Choutokkyuu - A Kind of Love (Translated・Subbed・Romanised)

As long as you’re here, these ordinary days will surely keep on shining

English Translation

If you needed to go someplace to meet Then you shouldn't get lost on your way But it doesn't seem so bad to walk on your own whim sometimes too

Even if the train's getting shaky I'm still gently lying on your shoulder And your sleeping breaths, awfully get more endearing as we pass another station

Your humming, and your face when you pout they're all important memories Even on days where I don't see you My heart is still lightly bouncing around

As long as you're here, these ordinary days will surely, surely shine on brightly, more and more At the end of today, it'd be great if you could feel it too

Even if we were gone, the world will still continue spinning But even then, we still need you

This is a kind of love

If ever you wanted to know some information you actually try to discover it And going far above expectations, you're nothing ordinary at all

While crammed in the middle of a crowd you seem to be losing my sleeve So I catch your thin fingers And without thinking, I grasp them tightly

A manual about you doesn't need to exist No matter when it is My feelings for you, I want to earnestly convey them And I want to make sure of it

As long as you're here No what what moment it is, I'll definitely, definitely won't forget it, ever, ever When tomorrow starts it'd be nice to see it with you next to me

Even the world that we don't know about, it'll remain just as happy as it is But even then, wherever you are is where I belong

This is a kind of love

I've done it like I've imagined it's better than any kind of perfect fiction And I thought I'd make only just for you

These ordinary days will surely, surely shine on brightly, more and more The future beyond, I want to draw it with you

Even if we were gone, the world will still continue spinning But even then, we still need you

This is a kind of love

Just the one and only, this is a kind of love

Romaji lyrics

machiawase no basho nara mayowanaide ikeru kedo tamani wa kimi no kimagure de aruku no mo waruku nai 

garagara no densha de mo kata ni sotto yorikakaru neiki ga yake ni itoshiku te hito-eki toorisugita 

kimi no hanauta ga sureta yokogao mo daiji na kioku aenai hi mo shizen to kokoro wa hazumu n da kimi ga ire ba 

itsu mo no hibi ga kitto kitto  kirameku darou motto motto  kyou to iu hi no owari  kimi o kanjiraretara ii bokura nashi de mo sekai wa  kanarazu mawari tsuzukeru  sore de mo ne boku ni wa kimi ga hitsuyou nanda yo 

This is a kind of love shiritai jouhou nara daitai mitsukaru keredo yosou no naname ue o yuku kimi wa kikaku-gai hitogomi ni nagasarete hagure sou na boku no sode tsukanda kimi no hosoi yubi o omowazu nigirishimeta kimi no manyuaru wa sonzai shinai kara donna toki de mo boku no omoi chanto todoiteru tashikameteitai kimi ga ire ba dono shunkan mo kitto kitto wasurerarenai zutto zutto asu to iu hajimari soba de mirareta nara ii boku no shiranai sekai mo sore nari ni HAPPY na n darou  sore de mo ne kimi no iru koto ga ibasho nanda yo This is a kind of love omoi doori tsukuriageta donna kanpeki na fikushon yori mo tatta hitori kimi ni kurete itai to omotta itsu mo no hibi ga kitto kitto kirameku darou motto motto kono saki no mirai kimi to egaite ikitai bokura nashi de mo sekai wa kanarazu mawaritsuzukeru sore de mo ne boku ni wa kimi ga hitsuyou nanda yo This is a kind of love 

tada hitotsu This is a kind of love

notes; thx whoever who edited this mv for using my fave jp font i have another excuse to use cinecaption once again :) // TAKE A SHOT EVERYTIME YOU THINK THIS MAKES U FEEL LIKE THIS IS A STAB AT KOICHI EVEN THO IT'S PROBABLY NOT // takashi im rooting for u <3 // takuya's little ponytail just reminded me how much i fucking stan him