#thunderingoutlaw

[taleswritten]

"Are you....blushing?" Clive's lips quirk up into a teasing grin, like he's proud of himself from bringing such a thing out in Cid. Usually, it's Clive that's the blushing mess. He strokes his thumb over a flushed cheek, entirely smug about the situation before him.

It is not often Clive is able to do this so he feels perhaps a little too smug when he can earn such an reaction from his soon to be husband.

"I can't wait to marry you." If it was up to Clive, they'd be married today, but these things take time and they both deserve a proper wedding, don't they?

They certainly hadn't - though Cid still wished he could've been there to help Clive, so no one would've tried to break his dear lad in the first place. Nonetheless, he remained gravely, adoringly proud of his betrothed for enduring and thwarting all that malice.

Bloody gods, he could never tire of hearing those three words from Clive.

A little flushed warmth crept up high on Cid's cheeks, though, when the praise was extended to him. He'd only tried to do right by Clive - but... maybe that was exactly why. Maybe there was nothing 'only' about it, to his love. He wouldn't think there was anything mere about Clive trying to do right by him.

"Then I can be grateful to myself for helping you stay, whatever part I played. Because I can't imagine my life without you either." Another tender kiss to soft, warm skin. "I don't want to. I love you too much."

[secondflame-archive]

continued from here ft. @thunderingoutlaw

He didn’t have time to call Clive’s name, all his body’s effort devoted to movement. Braced roughly on mossy stone, Cid reached for the other’s outstretched hand. No thought was spared for the risk of dislocated shoulders or the possibility of missing - he would catch Clive. And he did. Cid nearly slumped into a sigh when his hand closed and held around Clive’s wrist, but only permitted himself a huff before a deeper breath as he began hauling the other man up.Once they were both on solid ground again, Cid kept his hold on Clive for a moment or two longer, giving the latter a once-over for any injuries. Patting the man’s upper arm, he then leaned back on gloved palms to ease his breathing. “You tryin’ to make my heart give out?”There wasn’t any real venom in the chiding, with just a mix of concern and relief in his glance toward Clive.

There was little on his mind these days besides his immediate objectives. He was going through the motions, feeling numb, a sense of guilt permeating his entire being. It choked him, but also caused him to jump on any request, anything that would distract him from the painful truth.

He was Ifrit.

The reason for his brother's death. The Dominant of Ifrit, who was no longer an abstract concept, no longer a faceless murderer, a monster he could hunt and bring to justice. There would be no salvation in it. Not like he had hoped. He's asked himself every night since realizing this, what the point was of going on. Why he would not find himself a cliff to to jump off of, give himself the end Cid has denied him. He had begged him for it even, a pathetic sight he must have made, naked and screaming like a child, devastated by a truth that had been staring him in the face all along. He was the monster. He was the source of all the nightmares that plagued him for thirteen years, that plagued him still, but different now that he was aware, that he was awakened.

Clive worked his jaw, a phantom ache, a recent memory, resurfacing. 'Since you're still breathing, you might as well make yourself useful.' And so he did. Despite his apathy He fought like a man possessed, seeking battles even where there were none. He knew others noticed, although he wasn't sure if Cid did, too, or if someone else told him to keep an eye on him. But then again, who would?

Still, it was why Cid was here, Clive thought as he stared at the back of his head as they walked , to keep him from doing anything that would get him killed at last.

Clive wished he had the courage to end it himself, could spare himself the constant agony that accompanied his every waking moment and in turn could spare Cid this farce of pretending that he needed him on this mission, or any mission, that he was not just dragging Clive along because he probably thought he needed to babysit him lest he do something stupid.

If so, Cid wasn't wrong.

Imagine Clive's surprise then, when despite all of this, instead of feeling relief wash over him as the floor gives way beneath him, it is icy panic, fear biting at his conscious causing him to flail his arms, trying to grasp for purchase, gripping nothing but air.

He would die here. He thought. It was over.

But then-- a painful jolt went through his shoulder when Cid caught him by the wrist, his shoulder straining under the pull of his own weight trying to drag him down into the abyss below. Clive could do nothing but stare up at Cid, blue eyes wide and round. Scared, helpless. Before the reality hit him proper like a punch to the gut and he was able to breathe again, his own hand gripping around Cid's wrist in turn.

By the time Cid hoisted him back up onto the ledge, Clive regained just enough strength to actually keep standing, legs trembling, steps a little unsteady, adrenaline flooding his veins still as Cid dragged him a few more feet back to bring some distance between them and the edge.

Cid's words reached him as if through water, blood still rushing in his ears. Clive turned to look at him a long moment later, more composed, but still looking pale. "It's not--" He cleared his throat, fighting the evident tremble in his voice. "It's not like I did that on purpose." There was little bite to his statement, although he tried to sound firm, his gaze dragged back to the ledge.

Founder, that was close.

[phoenix-flamed]

Continued from here:

Miles was patient as he waited and watched Cid work, and maybe it was because he knew so precious little about the other man -- but he found himself curious about the letter being prepared. But he didn't pry; it wasn't his business, and it would be rude to ask about such a potentially personal subject.

His brows raised at the inquiry. Ah, right, the reason for his visit...

His arms folded across his chest, and he ever so lightly leaned against the closed door at his back. For a moment, those blue eyes averted in thought -- maybe figuring out how to phrase his own question.

"Curiosity," the former Archduke finally admitted, and his tone reflected that very sentiment: full of curiosity and intrigue. "Forgive my boldness, but while I have already heard of your goals from the lips of every citizen of Hideaway... I would like to hear them directly from you, as well." A pause, before he added: "Provided you have more time to spare, of course."

@thunderingoutlaw

[strangerrebelled]

This is an independent roleplay (RP) blog for Jack Garland, a canon character in the video game Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin.

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I am not well-versed in every Final Fantasy game, but I will be making use of wiki pages.

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Final Fantasy

Cidolfus 'Cid' Telamon, of Final Fantasy XVI | thunderingoutlaw

Gav, of Final Fantasy XVI | sharpnosedscout

Otto, of Final Fantasy XVI | hideawaysteward

Aevis, of Final Fantasy XVI | bxstardaevis

Sir Tyler, of Final Fantasy XVI | scorchedshield

Final Fantasy 7 multimuse | fromthe7thsidelines

Horizon Forbidden West

Nil, of Horizon Forbidden West (& Zero Dawn) | redteethed

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[taleswritten]

@thunderingoutlaw sent drag (from the 'enormity of my desire' prompt list) [for Clive! 😉 ]

❛  DRAG .   to  pull  my  muse  closer  by  a  piece  of  clothing .

He doesn't fight it - he'd never fight it - as fingers curl into the waistband of his leather pants and he's pulled closer to Cid. His head tilts back in response, raising up to the tips of his toes to brush his nose against Cid's in response.

An intimate soft action that Clive relishes in both giving and receiving, his heart flutters in his chest and he wonders if Cid can feel it with how close he's pulled them together, his chest practically pressed against Cid's own body.

His hand comes up to press against Cid's chest, his other hand reaching up to brush his thumb over Cid's cheekbone. He has yet to say anything but the look in his eyes is unable to be mistaken - it's utter adoration, admiration, and love for the man before him.

"Can't get enough of having me close, hm?" Clive finds himself finally speaking, tone light and teasing. Cid makes him feel comfortable enough to do so, and teasing Cid does happen to be one of Clive's favorite pastimes.

"If you wanted me closer, all you had to do was ask." Being dragged closer hardly bothers him. In fact, Clive enjoys it. It shows him just how much Cid wants him to be near - however, he likes giving Cid a hard time sometimes.

[taleswritten]

⛓ - from @thunderingoutlaw [for Clive 😏😉 ]

Send ⛓ and I’ll fill in what my muse would do with yours. BOLD things they want to do italicise maybes Strikethrough hard limits

biting | being bitten | marking | being marked | lap-dance (giving) | lap-dance (receiving) | scratching | being scratched | light bondage (receiving) | light bondage (applying) | heavy bondage (receiving) | heavy bondage (applying) | being put in handcuffs | handcuffing their partner | shibari (giving/receiving) | wearing a chastity cage/belt | key holding for a chastity cage/belt | wearing a collar | collaring their partner | edging their partner | being edged | being gagged | gagging their partner | hair pulling (giving) | hair pulling (receiving) | being blindfolded | blindfolding their partner | sensory deprivation (giving) | sensory deprivation (receiving) | spreader bar (giving) | spreader bar (receiving) | sex toys (giving) | sex toys (receiving) | mutual masturbation | penetrative sex (giving) | penetrative sex (receiving) | fingering (giving) | fingering (receiving) | fisting (giving) | fisting (receiving) | oral sex (giving) | oral sex (receiving) | strap-on (giving) | strap-on (receiving) | anal play (giving) | anal play (receiving) | wearing anal plugs (in public/under clothes) | their partner wearing anal plugs (in public/under clothes) | penetrative anal sex (giving) | penetrative anal sex (receiving) | double penetration (giving) | double penetration (receiving) | doggie style | group sex | nipple play/clamps (giving) | nipple play/clamps (receiving) | light impact play (giving) | light impact play (receiving) | hard impact play (giving) | hard impact play (receiving) | caning/flogging/whipping (giving) | caning/flogging/whipping (receiving) | spanking (giving) | spanking (receiving) | orgasm control/delay (giving) | orgasm control\delay (receiving) | orgasm denial (giving) | orgasm denial (receiving) | ruined orgasms (giving) | ruined orgasms (receiving) | tickling (giving) | tickling (receiving) | choking/breath play (giving) | choking/breath play (receiving) | knife/blood play (cutting) | knife/blood play (being cut) | humiliating/degrading their partner | being humiliated/degraded | electroplay (giving) | electroplay (receiving) | medical play (as doctor/nurse/etc) | medical play (as patient) | food play | golden showers | temperature play (giving) | temperature play (receiving) | wax play (giving) | wax play (receiving) | roleplay | phone-sex | sexting| public/semi-public sex | exhibitionism | voyeurism | bathroom permission (controlling) | bathroom permission (being controlled) | age play (as a little/younger) | age play (as a big/older/caregiver/mommy/daddy) | pet play (as a kitten/pony/puppy/etc) | pet play (as a master/owner/carer)

[phoenix-flamed]

“Hit me with your best shot.” - @thunderingoutlaw [from the 'training turned tension' askmemes; i'm thinkin Cid (possibly in my survives!AU?) invited 'Miles' to spar?]

@thunderingoutlaw

"Are you sure that's wise?"

Amusement laced his tone, with an underlying trace of concern behind it. It was no secret to everyone that Cid had nearly died at Drake's Head -- and even once their leader had finally regained consciousness, his body was in no condition for fighting.

Far be it from him to refuse a request from Ramuh's Dominant. Yet old habits died hard, and he recalled many a time where soldiers of the ducal army had labored to fight on with him despite their wounds, and he had always intervened to change their mind. Their lives were, after all, more important than the notion of honor or strength. But Cid was not one of his soldiers; Cid was the man to whom he owed for a second life, and to whom he had silently pledged loyalty to by joining the Cursebreakers, not to mention the one whose cause he believed in so wholly that he had dedicated his sword to it.

In other words, he should probably stop fretting and draw his weapon.

With an exasperated sigh(and a small smile), Elwin -- or rather, Miles, reached back, grasping the hilt of his sword to remove it from its scabbard. "I doubt I will provide much sport for you, but I needn't remind you that Tarja will have both our heads if any of your wounds reopen."

[taleswritten]

once you're stripped clean, what's at your core?

tagged by: stole it tagging: @thunderingoutlaw, @riiotseas, and whoever else wants to do it.

flimsy conviction

your confidence in yourself seems fairly weak. it's easy enough for your friends and peers to ask if you're okay, but what's the point? you're just going to say you're doing fine, you're doing alright, you don't need anything at all. your selfless pursuit of what's important to you has stripped you dry, rinsed you clean like pork bones for soup. there's only so much to keep running from and only so much to hold back until you explode. it's okay to not be okay!

[secondflame-archive]

what horror trope are you?

the monster

it was not your fault– at first, at least. you cannot help being the way you are. and even if you could, would you choose to change? they met you with torches raised and screaming mouths, the only choice you had was to flee. but you will not stay away forever. they whisper your name in fear, and you will make sure you hurt them just as much as they hurt you.

tagged by: well, I yoinked it from @equescaeli. tagging: @petrokhelidon @carrotsaversion @sharpnosedscout /@thunderingoutlaw

[secondflame-archive]

where should you be kissed?

knuckles: it feels as though you have fought every day of your life. sometimes, you cannot even tell how much of the blood on your hands is your own... and how much comes from those who've tried to hurt those you defend. you deserve the gentleness of a kiss to your bruised knuckles and broken skin, a reminder that you are not only made of violence.

"..."

tagged by: @bymargrace — thank you 💕

tagging: @levinstrike @sharpnosedscout / @thunderingoutlaw @equescaeli @tripleflames @phoenix-flamed @creatrix-mea @waloedrex @myrkt

[taleswritten]

@thunderingoutlaw sent lake. or quiet night. (from the 'Love Is In The Air' askmeme) - for Clive, from Cid [i couldn't choose hahah 😅]

It has been far too long since Clive has read a decent book. He'd tried when he first came to Cid, he could often be seen reading books, but then he stopped. He never said why, never explained where his love of reading went. The truth is - it never went anywhere. His capability to read is what went somewhere.

After all, the army didn't exactly care about keeping up with his education and he had only been fifteen. He can still read some books just fine but the ones he really wants to read? He struggles with and so frustration makes him avoid it all together.

So when Cid suggests a quiet night in of reading, Clive tells him to read the book to him. There's no explanation as to why he asks Cid to read it, he's too embarrassed to admit it - though he hides that well.

And Cid never denies him such harmless things. Clive wonders if he questions it but that doesn't matter right now because Cid isn't asking.

Eventually, they're curled up on the couch with a blanket and a book that Clive has picked out. One he's been wanting to read but couldn't. One of grand adventure and fantasy and drama and the like - truly he's a theatre kid at heart and that will never change.

Clive curls up with his head against Cid's shoulder, but careful to stay out of his way so that he can read. His eyes close, listening to Cid's voice as he reads through the pages. Cid's voice is soothing, if he had realized how nice it was to be read to by Cid specifically, he may have asked a lot earlier than this.

Clive is silent the entire time but it is clear that he's paying attention to every word. It is only when one chapter finishes does Clive speak up.

"When I was younger, you could rarely catch me without a book or play of some sort. I miss it sometimes so.....thank you, Cid. I enjoy hearing you read to me."

[taleswritten]

"Something tells me I wouldn't mind." No, he feels rather comfortable sittitng in Cid's lap that he has no problem sitting here for however long that they remain here.

"They tried to break me - they did not." As broken as he had felt at the time, Cid is right, his spirit has always been there. In hiding, Cid had been able to coax it out. Nuture it. Without Cid, Clive isn't sure that he'd be the man he is today.

It is nice to hear that despite the anger he has shown before, the anger he still feels, what Cid sees the most is his kindness. Kind is what he strives to be to those who deserve it.

"I love you." Clive whispers, "It is only because of you that I have remembered how to be kind. I am not the only remarkable one here, you know that, don't you?" Cid is remarkable to him, too. He is everything to Clive. "If it weren't for you, I'm not sure I'd be here right now." Not when he'd been so intent on leaving at the first but Cid had changed his mind by simply being who he was. "And I cannot imagine a life without you now."

"Your knees might go numb if I took time to list all of them." Still, Cid wasn't content to leave Clive with only vague allusions - lest it sound like he was lying, when he certainly was not.

"So one of the first reasons is your heart, your spirit. I admired that since the day we met, even when it wasn't as apparent as it is now." The mention was made without blame or judgement; after everything Clive had endured, it would've been strange if the man hadn't been affected. "It glows out of you, sometimes like a great beacon, and sometimes like the best hearth fire. The way kindness fuels it, as much as any anger or strength... it's remarkable. You're remarkable."

Cid kissed Clive's neck again, further up this time though not driving toward anything beyond comfort.

[taleswritten]

Clive knows that their time may be limited, depending on how everything turns out with their goal to destroy the mothercrystals but until then, Clive is going to enjoy every single second of them being together. He doesn't want to rush a wedding but he does want to get married as soon as possible.

If one of them were to die, which he will do everything in his power to ensure they don't, he wants to die married to Cid.

It is a thought that does not last long when Cid's lips press to the side of his neck and Clive flutters his eyes closed in content. "Oh? And what are the other reasons you love me?" He knows Cid loves him, he just wants to hear it.

The tease from his love - his fiance, now - broadened Cid's smile a little more. True, even with how hard Clive could be on himself he nonetheless soaked up praise in the sweetest ways. Cid's eyes had slivered open, but closed again, this time in contentment. Self-consciousness about his age, the wish that they could've met sooner, was a scarce ripple in the back of his mind. More important was they had found each other. There had been, and would be, time to spend together.

Cid pressed another soft kiss to the side of that strong neck. "One more reason I love you, Clive."

[taleswritten]

Clive lifts his hand to run fingers through Cid's hair, nails scratching at the back of his neck gently to soothe his love. He shifts a little so that he can press his lips to the top of Cid's head, a silent 'i'm here'.

"Me? Sick of hearing praise? Impossible." Clive teases, they both know how much he melts with praise and hearing Cid say he's lucky is part of that.

Founder, he's the lucky one. Without Cid he'd still be a slave to the imperial army.

"With you at my side, we can get through anything. Take your time, Cid, you taught me that healing and learning how to deal with things takes time. Remember that for yourself, too."

And he knew how well Clive knew. It'd been slow going, and not always linear, helping the younger man open up - but it was worth the effort. That would remain true even if Cid somehow hadn't fallen head over heels. He only hoped the efforts for himself might go the same.

For now, Cid tried to push back against his worries of hypocrisy over helping Clive and many others without even having his own issues sorted. He tried, though they only retreated and didn't really disappear.

"Thank you, Clive." A breath or two passed, though Cid didn't raise his head yet. Maybe it'd be alright to hide away like this, to feel this sort of vulnerable safety, for a little while longer. Still, a quiet chuckle rose from his chest. "At this rate, you might get sick of me saying how lucky I am to have you."

[taleswritten]

Lips brushing against his neck feels nice and Clive closes his eyes once more to relax into the touch. Maybe they both need the comfort, the topics at hand have been rather heavy, even if there had been utter joy mixed in between.

"I know." Clive whispers softly. He knows well what it's like to struggle to open up. When he'd first came to the Hideaway, he'd been so closed off, more scared animal than anything. It had taken time and it will take time for Cid.

"I would never push you, Cid." He's valid in how he feels, even if Clive would never judge him. He's been there before, embarrassed and unwilling to talk. "But, I'm here, when you're ready."

Cid knew Clive's first answer wasn't a call for attention, but rather a sincere empathy. He could only imagine how awful that demand for repression must have been for his lover, in ways at least different to his own. There was no objectively measuring such things, nor did he want to try. It was enough, more than enough, that Clive understood.

Bringing the younger man in for another embrace, his lips brushed the side of Clive's neck as he answered. "You are, sweetheart. And I do know it; can't even say how grateful I am. But it's like stretching a cramped muscle. Takes a little while, and more than one go." His hold tightened once more. "Plus it's sort of... embarrassing. I know it shouldn't be. Even when you don't judge me, and even when I don't do it to anyone else... it's hard not to judge myself."

Honestly, it was already a step forward that Cid was admitting as much aloud to anyone, things he hadn't said to even Otto.

[taleswritten]

"I don't like crying in front of people either." He is certainly not trying to make this about him, he is only trying to tell Cid that he relates and understands. He's cried in front of Cid because he feels safe enough but anyone else? It feels like a weakness. He supposes he can thank his mother for that.

"I hope you know that you don't have to be that way with me, Cid. You don't have to feel like that. I would never be disappointed in you for allowing yourself to feel." Nor would he ever feel pressured to comfort Cid but he hopes that goes without saying.

"You're my safe space, I want to be yours too." If there's anything for him to do to make Cid feel more comfortable or feel better, he'd gladly do it. He wants Cid to feel as safe with him as he does with the man himself.

His eyes closed once more as their foreheads met, while his arms reaffirmed their embrace. Cid didn't mean to weigh down so many of their conversations with such serious topics - but he also couldn't deny how it felt to have someone listen. It reminded him of the personal aches he'd nearly grown numb to, yet only so it could soothe them, even a little.

So when Clive then apologized for almost exactly that, Cid gave a marginal shake of his head, just enough to be felt. "I'll always listen, sweetheart." A short, considering pause. "Suppose it's not fair to either of us, then, if I'm the only one who gets the chance."

Still, he took a moment to gather his thoughts, and his emotions. "Could never really talk about my family, after I became a soldier. Perhaps I just got used to it. Had to drink three sheets to the bloody wind to open up with Otto, back in the day." He huffed a laugh at himself, then gently sobered. Another beat of silence stretched, as Cid worked out where to start. "I... don't think I ever learned how to cry around other people," he began, low and quiet. "Both my parents' funerals, it was like I'd chewed too much willow root. I could feel that hollow, like something was torn out of me, but I couldn't... do anything about it. Even the day of my promotion, hours of being on the damn verge, nothing. Not til I was alone in my chambers."

One hand's fingers combed idly through Clive's hair again, nails skimming over his scalp and down the back of his neck on occasion. "Maybe it's... as soon as there's someone who can see me, who can... be disappointed, or feel it's a demand for their comfort, I just, maybe I have to show them they don't need to." Cid's words were barely more than a whisper now. "I don't know how to stop. I only know distraction works." Until it doesn't, anyway.