#throw him in a hellscape anime school

[offorestsongs]

lowkey toying with the idea of a victor frankenstein inspired oc. just because i think it would be really funny and i need to channel my gothic literature obsession somehow

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 172

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 24 - “The New Power of the 5!” Date watched: 11 January 2020 Original air date: 22 July 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/j16tyB3 Transformation Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/6k6SzS0 Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

for once it’s not a wrist brace

When we left off, Nozomi, Coco, Nuts, and secretly Milk had arrived at Nightmare HQ only to be confronted by their missing teammates: Cures Rouge, Lemonade, Mint, and Aqua wearing Nightmare masks! How can she save her friends from the depths of their own insecurities? With the power of her strong feelings, of course. Let’s dive in!

The Plot

Nozomi isn’t the only one surprised to see that her teammates have been taken. Bunbee is also taken aback at the presence of Precures in the office. Kawarino, however, taunts Nozomi and says her voice will never reach them. Nozomi tries to pull off their masks anyway, but to no avail, as Kawarino informs her these are the Masks of Despair and cannot be removed once applied. Nozomi transforms into Cure Dream, preparing to fight the villains, but her teammates quickly restrain her while Kawarino tries to put a mask on her. It doesn’t take, because she’s still holding onto hope, but Kawarino taunts her that she’s the only one left, all her friends have already sunk into despair, and this upends her long enough for the mask to take hold.

As Despariah is only interested in obtaining the Dream Collet, and nothing more, she tells Kawarino he can do as he pleases with them, so he orders them to jump into the pit, which they do. Bunbee grabs Coco and Nuts and demands they hand over the Dream Collet but Milk jumps out, latches onto his face, and this gives Coco an opportunity to escape and jump down the pit after the girls before the trap door closes. Kawarino says it doesn’t matter, because the Precures are immersed in a tranquil world where they can forget about their worries, and nobody has ever escaped it.

Inside the Dream World, Nozomi finds herself sitting at a table with Rin, Urara, Komachi, and Karen, with a huge feast in front of them. They encourage her to put aside her worries and just eat, and she does, but she hears the jingle of the charm Coco gave her, and stares at it. Even when the others encourage her to forget about it, it keeps distracting her.

Outside in the pit, Coco hears the jingle of the charm and catches up to Dream. He begs her to remember herself and wake up. Inside, Nozomi begins to question how they all got together since they have little in common, and reiterates that she’s forgetting something. Suddenly she remembers Coco’s words to her, encouraging her to work hard to make amends with her friends, and she calls out for him, and his voice reaches her as well. Her mask begins to crack, which startles Kawarino. Coco puts his head against hers and enters her dream, where they both appear on the top of a flowery hill.

He embraces her and says he thought he’d never see her again. She tells him that he reminded her about what was important, and that she has a dream she wants to come true! Then her mask completely shatters apart! Kawarino can feel this and is completely floored.

Dream and Coco go to help the other cures break out of the nightmare. Nozomi reappears in the dream as Cure Dream and encourages them to leave. They all appear dead-eyed now, and mutter about their insecurities, but Dream encourages them to circle around and hold hands. Her warmth reaches them all and she apologizes for causing trouble, but they all accept the blame.

All of their masks shatter and break in a huge burst of light, and they reappear in the Nightmare boardroom, astonishing Bunbee, Kawarino, and even Despariah herself. Nuts and Milk take the chance to break free from Bunbee’s grasp at this point. Kawarino is furious that his plan failed but Bunbee urges him not to fight in the boardroom, so he teleports them all to his special arena, a huge colosseum, and brings in Girinma to throw them around.

The team tries to remove Girinma’s black mask but he’s too far gone and too strong and he flings them into the walls. Kawarino tries to sneak attack Dream but Rouge saves her, so he attempts to get into her head again by telling her that she’s hurting because of Nozomi, but Rouge says she just wants to protect her friend. He goes over to Lemonade and suggests that she should give up on her friends and save herself, but she rebuts that she will keep her friends AND her dreams, and Dream and Rouge come over to save her. He turns his attention to Mint, who is restraining Girinma, and tells her she’s stuck with the boring jobs again. Aqua comes to her side and insists this is Komachi’s kindness, which she knows better than anyone. The villain taunts Aqua by calling her a loner, but Mint responds that they’re all there for her and they’ll never let her feel lonely again! Together they’re unstoppable! And while the older two are keeping Girinma restrained, Dream, Rouge, and Lemonade all do a flying kick that knocks him over. At this point, Kawarino is fed up at the setbacks and powers up Girinma one more time into an even bigger, more monstrous form, and once again he sends the girls flying.

The fairies come over to Dream and Milk laments how useless she’s been, and how all of this is her fault for getting in the way, but Dream tells her that she wants to rebuild the ornament together with Milk. The girls all stand up and face Girinma, who prepares his final blow, but Milk screams out that she wants to rebuild the ornament as well, and her bag begins to glow.

yeah it’s basically the same thing as Porun

Five color-coded beams of light erupt from her bag and appear in the sky, turning into a giant butterfly-shaped baton. Nuts surmises that this is a new attack for the team and they unite their feelings, board the butterfly like a spaceship called the Symphony Set, and begin to fly it around. It sprouts enormous butterfly wings made of energy, and they charge it right into Girinma, declaring the attack Precure Five Explosion. Kawarino flees before the impact, and Girinma is disintegrated.

The girls fly off on the Symphony Set out of the Nightmare dimension and arrive back at their school, where it breaks apart into five lights that enter their brooches. Coco and Nuts praise Milk for her strong feelings creating this new power.

We cut back to the shop, where we see the girls and Milk have all completed the ornament. Milk plays tsundere but it’s clear to all that she was eager to be involved, and Nuts notices that she’s blushing. Everyone laughs it off as the scene fades out.

The Analysis

I love how Nozomi never ever gives up, even when it would be so much easier to do so. She’s the Precure of hope, damn it, she’s not going to lose herself so easily! She has enough awareness to wonder how and when she became friends with the school’s idols, and then Coco’s charm helps to remind her of the reality where they’re Precures. She’s able to break out of the nightmare world with his help and then she dives right back in to help the others to break free as well, because that’s the kind of person she is. This is what being the Pink Cure is about. And how does she appeal to them? She tells them that together, they can do anything. She rekindles their friendship by accepting them as they are, acknowledging that each of them has flaws and insecurities, but together they’re stronger than anything.

This is reiterated during the climactic fight in the arena, where Kawarino goes around to each of the girls trying to hit them in their insecurities but, thanks to Nozomi’s earlier encouragement, they refute him and help encourage each other. Even Milk gets in on the action. When she feels useless for being unable to help in the battle or any other aspect of their lives, Dream encourages her by saying they’ll rebuild the butterfly ornament together, and this reinforcement of her value to Nozomi and the girls leads her to try to protect them and unlocks the Symphony Set. Nozomi is the heart and soul of this team, and everyone is better for having her around, just as she’s better for having them.

What’s really interesting about the dream world they all end up in is that it’s not some dystopian hellscape, it’s actually very pleasant. They’re all sitting at a table eating a feast together, it’s practically idyllic. However, the girls have no memory of being Precures, or of the fairies. The idea seems to be to trap them in paradise forever and they’ll never want to leave. It might have worked, but Nozomi being the glue that holds them all together gives her a heightened awareness of the oddity of them all hanging out together without a clear reason to do so, which is what starts to wake her up.

I forgot to point this out in the ep 23 review, but the Masks of Despair that the Nightmare Cure 5 wear are the same ones worn by the Nightmare board, as opposed to the pointy ones worn by Kowaina.

Top to bottom: Nightmare 5, Nightmare executive board, normal Kowaina mask, Girinma’s black mask

It really raises the question of who’s actually underneath those masks? Other subjects that Nightmare has conquered? They don’t seem to be allies to the cause...

One fun little animation tidbit was when the team broke out of their masks, they transitioned from a shot of them in the dream world to the real world, in the same position, even though we’ve seen clearly that motions do not track 1:1 between the two realms. In this case they really were all holding hands to break free and I thought that was a good touch.

What I love about this episode is that we get to see the team unite after a great hardship and prove the strength of their deep bonds, being rewarded with an even greater power. Their fight in the colosseum is one of the best fights we’ve had in this show so far, because of the high stakes and how the girls are all reaffirming their bonds with each other along the way, to make up for the disagreement. The setting allows them to jump around through rubble and stadium seats and entryways and walls, and it’s very spacious so they can be scattered about before reuniting. And then they unlock that new attack.

Five Explosion is a really cool finisher, and it’s got a great musical cue to go with it. The Symphony Set may be kind of strange looking in their individual modes, and even when combined it’s weird, but they all get beamed up onto it like it’s some kind of spaceship, and it sprouts giant butterfly wings. That’s leaps and bounds more imaginative than anything the FW shows did with their powerups. It’s all about presentation!

This also wraps up Milk’s introductory arc nicely. She started out very selfish, exploiting others for her advantage, because she had to in this cruel world. She continues being rude even after reuniting with Coco and Nuts and meeting the Legendary Warriors, and she does cause them a lot of grief, but they still stick their necks out for her when she’s in danger and this doesn’t go unnoticed. She feels extremely helpless when Nightmare kidnaps them all, and defies orders to stay behind at Natts House Ultimately this pays off because she’s able to save Coco and Nuts from Bunbee and retrieve the Dream Collet, and then during the battle with monstrous Girinma she desperately wants to save the girls in return for all their kindness to her, unlocking their new power. Going forward, she’ll still be rude, but she’s definitely improved.

On the villain side of things, this is a sad farewell to Girinma, the first and best of the current crop. He was that perfect mix of cunning and ruthless while still being entertaining to watch. Also his voice was great. This shows us just how far Nightmare will go to achieve their goals, that they would turn one of their best generals into a mindless beast as punishment. They are an entirely results-oriented company, and don’t actually care about their employees. Oh, how the analogies write themselves.

One of the most satisfying parts of this episode comes at the very end, when they’ve completed the ornament and they’re all sitting back admiring it. It bookends this arc perfectly. Milk snarks about wanting to make sure they didn’t screw it up again but it’s clear she really wanted to help.

Notably, in the middle of it, you can see the charm that Coco made with one bead for each of them, fairies included, and I think that’s a really nice touch. The eight of them are united by the same goal: restoring the Palmier Kingdom and defeating Nightmare, but more importantly their friendship is at the core of the show, which this charm represents just right. And I believe you can see this ornament in the background going forward so it wasn’t just a plot point to be forgotten.

The climax in the middle of the show is always intense, by necessity, but this one feels even more desperate than those of FW, MH, or SS because this time, not only did the villains win for a time, they actually subjugated the heroines for a bit. The stakes in the prior shows may have been higher, but the way it’s portrayed here really tugs at the heartstrings, so I’m giving it the win. (for reference check days 25, 26, 72, 73, 120, and 121. Also, days 30 and 122 for powerups following these incidents). The next episode will be a breather from the intensity, it’s a very light-hearted and fun respite as they prepare for a vacation. Look forward to it!

Pink precure Catchphrase Count: 1 kettei during the preview. It counts!

[whatthewalt]

Return to Oz (1985)

The dark sequel to the classic Wizard of Oz musical carefully constructed out of pure nightmare fuel. If you thought the original had too much singing and not enough commentary on the horrors of early 20th century psychiatry, then this might be the movie for you.

Nostalgia Warning

I saw this movie in the theatres when I was a small child. I’m sure my parents had no clue that this movie would be so dark. The opening 20 minutes were so traumatising that I still remembered it more than 30 years later. In fact, I still remembered huge chunks of this movie, which I can’t say for some movies I watched 10 years ago, let alone 30. Is Return to Oz as needlessly dark as I remember it? Is it as big a failure as the box office figures suggest, or is this a hidden classic? Let’s find out!

Showtime!

6 months after Dorothy had her grand adventure in Oz (or 46 years - time is relative y’all), Aunty Em and Uncle Henry are worried about their young niece. Not only will she not stop talking about these fantasy characters that are a clear sign of a mental disorder, she’s somehow de-aged by about 10 years. Finding a mysterious key is either a sign that Dorothy is about to take another trip to Oz or that she’s about to lose her last grasp at sanity and is about to descend into a psychotic hellscape from which there will be no return, so it’s time to ship her off to a mental health clinic and cure her with the healing powers of electroshock therapy.

During a blackout, Dorothy manages to escape from the shock machine with the creepy face and after nearly drowning, finds herself back in Oz. If things looked bleak back in the crazy house, things aren’t much better in Oz, where the place is in ruins and everyone has been turned to stone. Dorothy gathers new companions Billina the Chicken, Jack Pumpkinhead, Tik-Tok the Clockwork Man and the Gump, faces off against the fluro-punk Wheelers, head-stealing witch Mombi and poorly animated Gnome King, all in a last ditch effort to save the people of Oz and uncover the secret of Princess Ozma.

Cards on the table: I love the Oz books but I do not love the old school Wizard of Oz movie. Don’t get me wrong, the music, visuals and acting are great. It’s the framing sequences back in Kansas that ruin it for me. Dorothy goes on this massive quest where she overcomes incredible challenges, inspires people to greatness and delivers an entire country from the clutches of an evil being. Then she gets home to Kansas and it turns out it was all a hallucination caused by a bang to the head and all the people she met in Oz were just caricatures of people she knew back in Kansas. What a way to ruin an epic adventure. So I got nervous when the same thing started happening in Return to Oz. The film tries way too hard to stuff references to all the upcoming events in Oz into the opening Kansas scenes. It’s done so poorly that I wonder if the director actually wanted to pursue this route or if he was forced into it. The squeaky wheels of the hospital trolleys sounding just like the sound the Wheelers make is one thing. I can almost understand the doctor and nurse being played by the actors playing the Gnome King and Mombi (though we are never given any reason why the hospital had to be EVIL in all capital letters. Could that nurses outfit scream gothic supervillain any harder?). But when you have a random girl, who may or may not exist, bring Dorothy a carved jack o’lantern pumpkin, and it isn’t even Halloween, then you’ve gone too far. And the thing is, the movie doesn’t need all this Oz foreshadowing. It doesn’t even do anything with it. In fact, I believe the movie would have been stronger if we had skipped the psych ward all together, had Dorothy find the key, get lost in a storm and begin her Oz adventure 15 minutes sooner. Then maybe we could have spent more time establishing the Princess Ozma mystery instead of dumping it all in the last 10 minutes.

There is some truly great stuff going on here. The ruins of Oz are wonderfully shot and I would love to spend time running around and exploring. The puppet work on display with Jack and Tik-Tok is amazing. Tik-Tok is my favourite Oz character and he doesn’t disappoint on screen. And what Brian Henson does with both Jack’s voice and his physicality just knocks it out of the park. The villains are scary, the plot is substantial and Dorothy’s eventual victory feels earned. But there are some weaknesses. The Gnome King looks great when he’s a human actor in makeup. But as soon as he becomes an animated special effect, it instantly dates the movie. The Gnomes never look right, which is more a limitation of 1980s special effects than poor filmmaking. Whoever composed the score must not have got the memo that they were composing a kids action adventure flick and not a gothic horror movie because it’s 100% dread and 0% fun. And I sure hope gravity works different in Oz than in the real world because whenever someone falls in this movie it takes forever and looks like someone is dangling a pumpkin on fishing wire instead of simulating a rapid descent. 

Return to Oz smooshes together all the best bits about the books The Marvelous Land of Oz and Ozma of Oz. Unfortunately it also throws in the elements of the 1939 movie I like the least. The result is a movie where it was clear that not everyone was on the same page when it came to the tone or purpose of this film. 

Was It Any Good?

You know what, surprisingly the answer is yes. Sure it has its flaws. But the location work, character design and story line (mainly the Oz stuff, not so much the Kansas stuff) work together to overcome the problems. I’m surprised this movie managed to get a G rating as there is some truly terrifying things happening on screen. But for adults and older kids, this is a pretty fun movie. I’ve read a bunch of the Oz novels with my 5 year old and he loves them. At the moment, he’s too young to watch this film. But in a few years time I’m looking forward to sitting down with him and watching the heck out of this crazy thing.

[st-str-strangerthingsfic]

Chapter 2: September 1, 1985 First Day of Hawkins Middle

Chapter Selection: [Chapter 1]–-[Chapter 2]--[Chapter 3]--[Chapter 4]--[Chapter5]--[Chapter 6]--[Chapter 7]--[Chapter 8]

El’s eyes shot open that morning at 7am. She rushed out of her room and into the kitchen where Hopper was groggily cooking eggs and bacon, a cigarette clenched between his lips humming along to the Jim Crow vinyl he had playing softly in the background.

El bounded into the kitchen and whipped open the freezer grabbing a box of eggos. It should be noted that the majority of the freezer was filled, overflowing rather, with boxes of eggos and few TV dinners. She pulled two frozen eggos and popped them into the toaster, staring into the slots as they glowed red and orange.

“Hey kid, I was making—,” Hopper protested before the eggos popped up from the toaster and El juggled them between her hands.

At the Wheeler’s, Mike was hovering over the toaster too, plate ready as Mrs. Wheeler packed his lunch chirping about how exciting the first day of 8th grade was going to be, how she couldn’t believe, and how she was so proud, so proud! Mike tapped his fingers impatiently. He wanted to bike to school early so he would for sure be there when El arrived. He wasn’t taking any chances with Hopper’s new school rules. Who knows what he would do if he didn’t see any of the party there waiting to receive El. He might just take El back home and lock her away until January.

Once the eggos popped, he yanked them from the toaster, swearing a little too loudly.

“Michael!” Mrs. Wheeler closed her eyes as if in pain from the shock of those words.

“Sorry! It’s just hot, jeez.” He walked the plate to the kitchen table and proceeded to eat as fast as humanly possible and downed his orange juice in three hefty gulps.

“Slow down son, you don’t want to call the play before it’s even started,” Mr. Wheeler droned unenthusiastically. Mike rolled his eyes and rushed his plate and cup to the sink.

“I promised I’d meet the party early before school started. We’re hammering out details for the AV club schedule.” It was almost too easy to lie to his parents now, but for some reason it didn’t ever make him feel that bad.

“Okay! But just let me get a picture before you go!” Mrs. Wheeler begged as she dug in the kitchen drawer for their camera.

“Mom NO!” Mike scurried to the front door cramming his feet into his sneakers and slinging his backpack over his blue and red striped t-shirt. The summer heat wouldn’t wear off until late October.

“Michael Wheeler, WAIT!” He could hear her clicking down the hallway. He ripped open the front door and crashed into the garage pulling his bike free and throwing a leg over just as she reached the front door.

“Sorry Mom I have to go!” He shot off down the street. Mrs. Wheeler, exacerbated, lifted the camera and snapped a shot of his retreating figure down the street. Her eyes went wide “Michael! Your lunch!” but he was already around the bend and out of their cul-de-sac.

“Okay you ready? One, two, three—cheeeee-eese!” Hopper hunched over, awkwardly holding the camera between his thick fingers, the shutter closing with a crash over El’s glittering grin.

“Cheeese!” she was positively oozing happiness and excitement. After breakfast, she spent most of her morning packing and then repacking her backpack. She chose her favorite outfit: tattered bell-bottomed jeans, her new white converse (a special splurge from Hopper), a light green t-shirt with white lining the sleeves and neckline, with a black, long-sleeve plaid tied around her waist. She’d carefully combed through her curls, making sure not to pull them apart too much and make them frizzy. She tied the orange and yellow friendship bracelet Max had made her that summer next to the blue hair band from Hopper. On her opposite wrist, she carefully tied the bracelet Mike had made her: dark blue, light grey, forest green with a heart charm embedded at the center. Lucas had suggested that she bring a picture to hang in her locker to help decorate it, so she chose her favorites from her amassed pile of film laying scattered in her desk drawer: A group picture of the whole party standing in front of the arcade, arms slung lazily over each others shoulders, mouths open and laughing; Max and El sitting on the sidewalk in shorts and sandals, too-big sunglasses eclipsing their face as they distractedly sucked on bright red popsicles; and lastly, she and Mike caught with bright smiles, faces so close together that their cheeks were touching, their curls mingling with one another’s.

She zipped her backpack after carefully placing the photos inside of a notebook.

Now, face close to the window in Hopper’s truck, she bounced with excitement as the school came into view. “Here we go.” Hopper whispered under his breath. She glanced over and gave him a reassuring smile.

Buses had started arriving with school children pouring from them crowding the green space in front of the school. Kids were embracing and shouting at friends across the lawn, re-animating friendships forgotten from the summer. El scanned the open area for the bike racks where Mike told her they’d meet her. Sure enough, most of the party had parked their bikes and were laughing and prodding one another, waiting just for her. Mike’s face surveyed the drop-off line for a sign of Hopper’s truck. Finally he spotted it and waved frantically.

“She’s here!” he yelled over his shoulder to everyone. El was practically leaping from the front seat, grabbing her lunch box and being pulled back to lean over the seat for some last parting words from Hopper: “Remember the rules.” He warned her. She nodded and shut the door halfway through a chide of “Be SAFE!” Pulling the straps across her shoulders she started walking down the path toward the bike racks, making a beeline for Mike. She was buffeted by the crowd of distracted, excited children. Girls and boys bumped into and shouldered her making direct paths to friends. A boy unexpectedly yelled across her face, startling her, as he tried to hail a friend. Mike pursed his lips and jogged forward to meet her halfway. He linked his arm through hers and pulled her along, navigating and dodging through the throng of middle schoolers.

“You okay?” he asked checking for signs of concern on her face. El recovered quickly, smiling enjoying the feeling of Mike’s arm looped through hers. She tightened her grip a little and Mike smiled reassuringly.

“El! You made it! Welcome to Hawkins Middle, or as I like to affectionately title it ‘The Hellscape that is my Current existence.’ Assholes. As far as the eye can see!” Dustin held out an arm and waved it across him indicating the lawn of kids. Rule #4 already broken. Lucas hissed and punched Dustin:

“It’s JANE, dumbASS,” he reminded, putting extra emphasis on the ‘ass’. Dustin cursed an apology and looked around to make sure no one had heard.

“It’s not that bad.” Max retorted, just arriving and kicking her skateboard up into her hand.

“Speak for yourself,” Will lamented as a group of boys walked past throwing out a new variety of insults they had perfected over the summer months.

“Come on, let’s get to our lockers. You all have English first period with Sanders, yeah?” Mike reached for El’s lunch box and started guiding the party toward the main double doors leading down the main drag of Hawkins Middle, flanked on either side with lockers muted in color.

Mike had scoped out the location and proximity of his locker to El’s one summer day when the boys had snuck into Hawkin’s middle to use the Heathkit. He walked her to her locker and showed her how to unlock it with the combination. She watched intently and then when the locker popped open she could hardly contain her squeal of delight. Mike let out a soft laugh, so happy to see her getting to just be a kid like the rest of them and experiencing all of it for the first time with him. He put her lunch box in the empty space.

“You can put notebooks that you don’t need right away for your next class in there and your text books and stuff.”

“Oh! I brought these. Mike hold this.” She yanked off her backpack and placed it in Mike’s extended palms, unzipping and pulling out the pictures. She gently shoved each one into the metal sides of the locker door, Mike reaching just over her head to secure them a little more in place when they slipped some. She stood back and smiled.

“Looks nice!” Mike beamed, his eyes resting on the picture of the two of them. El turned back to him and proceeded to unload some of the contents of her backpack. When the first bell rang, El jumped at the sound. She slammed her locker door shut and Mike helped her to get her backpack on. The rest of the party scurried over to her.

“Wait here, I’m just going to run to my locker really quick.” His hand left El’s arm and slid down across her hand as he took off jogging down the length of the hall. She could just see him over the crowd of bobbing heads, quickly fumbling with his locker—he was taller than most of the middle schoolers she noticed. Lucas wasn’t far behind him in height though.

“Mike HURRY UP WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE AND I’M NOT GOING TO GET A TARDY BECAUSE YOU HAVE AWFUL TIME MANAGEMENT” Dustin screamed over the crowd. They gave him cringing looks as they walked past. He followed a couple of aghast passing faces with a grin saying, “Hi, Nice to see yah, welcome back, this is my hell.”

Mike rushed back, coming to sliding halt into El’s side, an arm wrapped around her waist expertly.

“K. Let’s jet.” He pulled her along through the crowd. The party walked in front, forming almost a shield that forced the other kids to walk around the couple behind them. El glanced up a couple of times at Mike’s face as he volleyed in and out of conversation with the party ahead of them. She didn’t want to mention the rising butterflies in her stomach that she could only expect as nervousness. Mike’s hand felt nice though, reassuring gripping her waist, his thumb moving up and down sporadically, almost in a response to her nervous energy.

They crossed the threshold into their English class as Mr. Sanders wrote the class title and his name on the blackboard. Piling into an array of desks surrounding one another, they pulled out notebooks and chattered until the final bell rang and Mr. Sanders turned on cue:

“Alright, alright! Settle down. Settle down. And welcome back. I hope your summers were exceptionally literary. I’m sure you spent it reading and pondering the meaning of life amongst the pages of such visionaries like Thoreau, Shelley, and my personal favorite, Mr. Steven King. Now this is…” As he continued his opening speech, El stared expectantly at the blackboard, eyes trained to Mr. Sanders, attempting to catch anything meaningful. She hastily jotted down the names of authors he named just to be writing something. Her whole body tensed, pulled over her desk, at the ready. Just as Mr. Sanders was beginning to write the syllabus on the board for their first assignment, a small folded piece of paper fell onto her desk.

Mike had dropped it quickly over his shoulder. The front of the folded paper was scrawled with a messy ‘El’ on it. She glanced up at the blackboard, quietly unfolding it and reading the contents:

‘Hi. Just wanted to say, you look great today. And you’re going to do great. Love  Mike’

The ‘love’ was hastily scratched out, but not erased. She smiled and tucked the note into her notebook and started to quickly take notes from the blackboard, letting her muscles relax a little bit and ease back into her chair, releasing her sharp grip on her pencil.

[bunnkick]

Getting to Know People

Tagged by @sakamotorei​ (i haven’t done one of these in a long time, thank you!)

1ST RULE: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better 2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true

I TAG (of course, completely optional): @floweredtatamis, @kuyuan, @wolffgore, @nakamatachi, @im-sorry--im-so-sorry, @boogiekun

I am 5'7" or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing (kinda, the holes in my ears grew over and I haven’t done it again yet)

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny (I’m really bad at having my humour come across in text, but I’m good at opportunistic and in the moment jokes)

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me (although I gotta be careful as I tend to go overboard and neglect myself for others a lot)

I enjoy physical challenges (it’s gotta be something I want to do though, like outside, I don’t like to be in a gym and pushing for goals there eas I find gyms hellscapes of misery)

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well (not so much know well, but with people who also treat me playfully the same, I’ll do it back)

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it (chill, cool cool cool cool no doubt no doubt no doubt, fresh to death, referring to things as ‘hella’)

ABILITY:

I can sing well (I can but my brother used to make fun of me for signing so you rarely catch me doing it :I)

I can play an instrument (I learned guitar for 3 years and even my teacher couldn’t believe how bad I was and how I wasn’t improving, he and I both gave up lol)

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (yes but I’ll hate every second of it)

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well (it’s my career and the only thing I excel at so frick I sure hope I do )

I have a good memory (memorization for recipes, events, and animal facts, yes. Knowing what day it is or what I did yesterday? Good luck me)

I’m good at doing math in my head (I’ve never been good or even passable at mental math)

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (I once got to 2 min 30, not bad?)

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling (I’m really competitive and I’ll take any wrestling or sparring challenge)

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch (I cook a lot for myself and really like trying out new recipes, I get bored without food variety and I’m primarily motivated by the promise of good meals)

I know how to throw a proper punch (never had the chance to use this skill which I suppose is a good thing)

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports (I avoid them though as I can really be competitive and it’s only fun for me if there’s little to no stakes, as I really hate to lose :I)

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week (I officially finished learning ‘Not Tomorrow’ I guess?)

I work out at least once a week (I hike and run everyday with me pup)

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

FANDOMS ARE MY #1 PASSION  (I like a great many things but I tend not to overobsess)

I do or have done martial arts (I have a black belt in Shotokan Karate, pretty rusty, but I still know the basics!)

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss (unfortunately I don’t remember it fondly :’I)

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event (many)

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year (had some surgery in May, first time I’d ever been to the hospital for such a thing)

I have beaten a video game in one day (ReGRET)

I have visited another country (I love travelling and go elsewhere whenever I have funds to do so, which isn’t often, but hey, it’s always worth it) 

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts (Yep! Saw a crazy amount of them at Osheaga and have been to a lot where I used to live, great music scene in the East Coast of Canada)

RELATIONSHIPS :

I’m in a relationship (ahahahaha I’ll be lucky to be in another before I die)

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships (and they were very mediocre, really turned me off of being in them :I)

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year (yeah and when I was going to confess and ask them out, my friend group kindly informed me he was gay before I did it, thank you! We remained friends but like I really had wanted to date him before I knew there was no way ;-;)

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close to my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the United States (Yikes, I used to, don’t regret not being there now)

There is snow right now where I live (nope wayyy too in the year early for that here)

I have hung out with a friend in the past month (all me friends are far far away)

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CDs

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair (Many times, it is currently turquoise)

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now (Labyrinth by Toro Y Moi)

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life (more like I hope I do)

I speak at least 2 languages (French n’ english, learning Japanese and German)

I have made a new friend in the past year (Mmhmm! Met them in San Diego, they are lovely and hope to talk with them more)

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

18 classic viral videos that will always be hilarious

It’s Viral Market Crash week on Mashable. Join us as we take stock of the viral economy and investigate how the internet morphed from a fun free-for-all to a bleak hellscape we just can’t quit.

Long before Vine and Instagram, sites like Newgrounds, eBaum's World, and of course YouTube were the breeding grounds for viral video legends. 

The viral video market has sadly taken a greedy turn for the worst. Thankfully, we can still look back on the iconic viral videos that set a standard for internet greatness. 

SEE ALSO: Elon Musk was once tech's angel. Now he's an overplayed meme.

It's been years since these videos first premiered, but they've never faded from our hearts or minds.

1. Grape Lady Falling

What started off as friendly competition turned into a few broken ribs and viral fame. Melissa Sander aka "Grape Lady," was reporting for Fox 5 in Atlanta at a vineyard in the late '90s when she took quite the tumble.

After falling to the ground letting out very strange sounding "ows," the camera returns to the newsroom where the two hosts comment on how she could possibly be hurt.

This video was uploaded in 2007 and has racked up almost 20 million views. 

2. Leprechaun in Mobile, Alabama

The "Leprechaun in Mobile, Alabama" video was one of the first news stories to achieve viral status on YouTube back in 2006. The story itself was about a leprechaun sighting that turned the community into a search party.

An amazing amateur sketch of the magical creature, as well as interviews with people who had different theories ranging from "it could be a crackhead," to "it's casting a shadow," made the video so entertaining. 

3. Double Rainbow

This man having a meltdown over witnessing a double rainbow in 2010 proves we should enjoy the simpler things in life. Apparently over 45 million people agree. 

Drugs may or may not have been involved in the making of this viral video. 

4. Shoes

Arguably THE original YouTube viral video. Liam Kyle Sullivan released this banger in 2007 and it has been viewed over 67 million times. 

Kelly, who is played by Sullivan, is not happy with her birthday gifts. When her father asks what she's going to do with her life, she fiercely responds, "I'm going to get what I want." 

What happens next is the best song dedicated to shoes known to humanity. Sullivan has also made quite the career following his viral fame. 

5. Leave Britney Alone

Poor Chris Crocker, all he wanted was for everyone to leave Britney Spears alone. During Britney's rough spot in 2007, Crocker went on YouTube and hysterically begged the entire internet to leave the pop star be.

This video became an instant viral sensation, and Crocker got a lot of backlash from all over the internet for his femme appearance and sobbing. Since the release of this video, Crocker rose above the haters, and went on to become a porn star, blogger, and a singer-songwriter. 

6. Fenton

A peaceful stroll through Richmond Park in London turns to chaos when someone off in the distance can be heard screaming "FENTON." When the person recording the video pans right, a herd of deer being chased by a dog runs past.

A few seconds later the dog's owner can be seen chasing the him while screaming "Jesus Christ, Fenton!" Thankfully no one gets hurt.

This video was uploaded in 2011 and it currently has over 18 million views.

7. Potter Puppet Pals

A classic video for any Harry Potter fan out there. The "Potter Puppet Pals" went on to become a successful YouTube skit that garnered millions of views. 

The first episode of the series "The Mysterious Ticking Noise" released in 2007 has over 181 million views. Those of us nerds who watched the video back then, most definitely still know the lyrics in 2018.

8. Greatest Freak Out Ever

After Stephen Quire gets his World of Warcraft subscription canceled, his brother Jack (aka wafflepwn) recorded his brother's reaction to the punishment. Stephen goes on to throw the biggest tantrum in tween history, not knowing Jack left the camera in the room to record it all for YouTube.

Jack went on to record more videos of Stephen freaking out, but most of them were deemed fake or scripted. Nothing compares to the first video of the series that came out in 2009 that has garnered almost 100 million views. 

Real or fake, the original is still just as ridiculous as it was when it was released in 2009.

9. Numa Numa Guy

Gary Brolsma aka the "Numa Numa Guy" was out here living his best life on Newgrounds in 2004. In this video, Brolsman was lip-syncing to O-Zone's "Dragostea Din Tei," and he became an instant meme and viral icon. 

Although the Newgrounds took the video down for licensing reasons, someone uploaded the video on YouTube so his legacy lives on. According to an old BBC article in 2006, the video was estimated to have been viewed 700 million times, just falling shortly behind the next video on this list. 

10. Star Wars Kid

Ghyslain Raza, aka "Star Wars Kid" was also living his truth during the early days of the viral internet. While he didn't intend for this video of him in 2002 to get thrown on the web, his attempt to copy Darth Maul's lightsaber moves became one of the most viewed viral videos of all time. 

According to an article by NBC in 2007 Raza's video had gotten well over 1 billion views on the internet since. Sadly, the price of this kind of internet fame caused Raza to get teased and bullied from people in school, and all over the internet.

Raza rose above this, and is now a lawyer who takes on many legal cases surrounding cyberbullying. He is absolutely following the way of the Jedi, and we're here for it.

12.  Charlie Bit My Finger

Personally, I never understood the appeal of this video. But what do I know? I might just be one out of the almost 1 billion people who watched this video that just doesn't understand why Charlie biting his brother's finger is funny. 

13. Ain't Nobody Got Time For That

Sweet Brown's iconic "Ain't nobody got time for that" line was a big mood for 2012 when this video came out. There was also an auto-tuned version that accompanied the video that achieved its own viral fame.

Since her narrow escape with a fire at her apartment complex, Kimberly Wilkins starred in a Tyler Perry movie and got a shoutout from Beyoncé.

13. The Ultimate Showdown

Another Newgrounds relic from 2005, this animated video pit comic and pop culture's most recognizable figures against each other in a battle to the death, along with a song narrating the entire scene. I don't want to spoil who wins, so give this video with over 20 million views a watch.

14.  The Duck Song

When I first watched this video in 2009, I was expecting something really horrifying or creepy to happen at the end because you can't trust anything on the internet with a catchy tune and a cute duck. Thankfully this cheery viral video with over 350 million views was only annoying as this duck who keeps asking for grapes. 

15. Charlie the Unicorn

Originating from Newgrounds, "Charlie the Unicorn" was an iconic flash cartoon that had everyone saying "shun the nonbeliever," like someone who was tripping on something from Candy Mountain. The video first came out in 2005, and was uploaded onto YouTube in a year later. In 2008 an official version of the first episode was uploaded and currently has over 30 million views.

16. Apparently Kid

Apparently, "Apparently Kid" has to be on this list with his viral news interview that has over 30 million views. Noah Ritter stole the hearts of everyone on the internet with his hilarious usage of the word "apparently" during an interview with a local news station at a county fair in 2014. 

Ritter also caught the attention of Ellen Degeneres, who later brought him on the show for a very cute interview. He's also apparently, over the word, "apparently."

17. HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA

Everyone talks about Rick Rolling, but "HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA," which came out around the same time, is so underrated. According to KnowYourMeme, He-Man singing 4 Non Blondes' "Whats Up" first made an appearance on the Something Awful forums back in 2005. The video then made a few appearances on the eBaum's World forums in 2005. 

It eventually found its way onto YouTube in 2006 where it continued to go viral before finally getting its official video and meme title. Truly, a viral relic from the past that has over 100 million views today.

18. Keyboard Cat

Look at how happy Fatso was back in '80s playing his keyboard! Even though this kitty cat was long gone before YouTube even became a thing, his owner Charlie Schmidt allowed Fatso's legacy to live on by uploading his amazing piano skills onto the site in 2007. 

After becoming a massive meme and viral icon, Keyboard Cat continues to dazzle audiences all over the world. With over 50 million views this cat — from a time period before internet fame wasn't even a concept — is truly timeless.

WATCH: Meet the man who makes music with vegetables