#through her lens'

[leefi]

when you go through all of orv wondering what makes han sooyoung so important, why she's also on the main cover, why she's a part of the trio when she doesn't even show up that often. and then you finish the novel and realize that she is more present any other character in the entire story -- she's been here this whole time, speaking directly to you, on every single page.

[poorlydrawninstarsandtime]

i forgive you kitten

[id in alt]

[dykedvonte]

I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.

I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?

The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.

[palamedeez-nuts]

god bless ppl reading htn/ntn for the first time lamenting "I only understand like half of what's going on." the literal viewpoint characters understand maybe 10% of what's going on at any given time, you're doing fine sweetie

[molinaesque]

"Go away. You're too late." "Oh, it's a hell of a place. It says something about the late Marcus that he found imprisoning your sister to be a greater mercy than killing her." "Killing isn't mercy." Silco chuckles. " A spark of rebellion still burns inside that husk, I see. No... killing is a cycle. One that started long before Vander and me. And it will continue long after the two of you." "I'm done running in circles." "We build our own prisons. Bars forged of oaths, codes, commitments. Walls of self-doubt and accepted limitation. We inhabit these cells, these identities, and call them "us." I thought I could break free by eliminating those I deemed my jailors. But... Jinx... I think the cycle only ends when you find the will to walk away."

[iliveunderarock]

servant of evil becomes much funnier if you imagine allen was high the whole time

[volkoss]

Fic: Brilliant Things

While Rook is trapped in the Fade prison, Johanna and Emmrich are forced to help each other overcome their own regrets. DRAGON AGE | EMMRICH & JOHANNA; EMMROOK | WORDS: 4,553 | RATED: G

(AO3 LINK)

It’s pathetic, really. Volkarin has always been a soft touch, but this snivelling is something else.

Despite her own prodigious knowledge of anatomy and the undead, Johanna had not known the human body capable of making such a hideous racket prior to the events of these past few days. Corpses do not weep, and even if they did, she hardly cares. 

The worst part isn’t even that she’s reduced to mere ornamentation in the already ostentatious study of one of Nevarra’s greatest necromancers, forced to watch him burn a hole in the floorboards with each anguished thump, thump, thump of his feet as he teeters at the edge of a nervous breakdown borne by the weight of his own misplaced compassion. No, this part was inevitable. Volkarin had always been destined to crack one day—she just wished she could have been the one to cause it.   

No, the absolute worst part, worse than having been denied the opportunity to gloat over her lifelong rival, is that despite the circumstances, the lovelorn fool’s dedication to his Watcher duties have been thorough to a fault. Johanna has of course tested the wards binding her soul to her remains multiple times; she’d been trying to escape before this most recent escalation in their circumstances, it would be downright idiotic not to try when facing down the end of the world as they know it. Especially while her only hope at salvation rubs his red-rimmed eyes and mutters inconsolably under his breath, unwilling to accept that it is in fact his infernal meddling which has doomed them all.  

It’s simple, really: if Volkarin had just stayed out of her way, left her alone, Johanna would still have her beautiful bone construct—the culmination of her life’s work—with which she would’ve had the power to raise an army of undead to defeat this so-called god, this Elgar’nan. 

But Volkarin had possessed the sheer nerve to outplay her at the most inopportune moment. Although she’s ordinarily capable of giving credit where it’s due, she cannot respect the lack of long-term strategy. Of all moments to finally locate his own backbone!  Volkarin had always been like that, though. Capable of surpassing his own self-imposed limitations given the correct impetus. What else could one expect from such a hot-headed, idealistic man as he. Ugh. And couple that all that with a new paramour, a bright-eyed young thing surely twenty years his junior, it’s no wonder Volkarin’s been distracted (but not distracted enough) of late. 

What needs to be done now is plainly obvious to Johanna, or indeed, anyone with half a functioning brain. For whatever reason, everyone in this crackpot team of would-be heroes that Volkarin has somehow gotten himself mixed up in relies on Rook, even though Johanna’s not sure what the impudent whelp brings to the team, other than a tendency to meddle which rivals even Volkarin’s. And as the group’s resident expert on the Fade, Volkarin is the most well-placed to tear a hole in reality itself to locate his misplaced lover. Even Johanna can see that would make for a most romantic story indeed, and she doesn’t even read that sort of dreck.

But it’s clear to Johanna that Volkarin is functioning at perhaps one-tenth of his usual operating capacity, compromised as he is by needless sentimentality. Of course, the type of man who would sacrifice not only his lifelong dream—immortality itself!— for a mere wisp, of all things, would struggle without the guidance of a more indomitable hand.

And in Rook’s absence, the task falls to Johanna. Unfortunately. Here she’d hoped her days of solving Emmrich Volkarin’s problems for him were over, but no matter. Unlike Volkarin, Johanna Hezenkoss does not shy away from necessary evils. 

As always, she chooses her words carefully, delicately balancing dramatic effect and efficiency.

“You know this is entirely your fault, don’t you?” 

Volkarin stops dead in his tracks as though she’d just punched him. The respite from his infernal pacing is most pleasant indeed, and she’s elated by the knowledge she can still instil such a reaction in him even while bereft of limbs.

Expression jumping from shock to outrage and then, most curiously, to acceptance, Volkarin raises two fingers to rub at his temples, quietly answering, “I know.” 

Johanna’s mandibles clench tightly and it is only with some difficulty that she manages to relax them. For Volkarin to admit his failings so readily, the situation must be worse than she had feared. “And what do you have to say for yourself?” she asks instead. The last thing she needs him to know is that she’s worried. 

Volkarin averts his gaze as he hunches into himself. She remembers the stance well from his days as a young child at the Necropolis. “I should have confessed the truth to Rook while I had the chance,” he admits in the most mournful, pitiful tone that makes even Johanna feel sorry for him as much as it makes her want to vomit, if she were still capable of such a thing. 

While it’s not quite the answer she’d hoped for—then again, Volkarin would never debase himself by offering her a proper apology for everything he’d put her through—it’s one Johanna can work with nonetheless.  Doing her best approximation of a tongue-clicking noise, she replies, “Don’t tell me you’re still hung up on that argument you had with your paramour.” 

As planned, the words bait him back into action with a sputter. Back straightening and fingers curling into the palms of his ungloved and unadorned hands, he snaps, “Still hung up on—” before cutting himself off and pinching the bridge of his nose as he breathes deeply to regulate his emotions, the same exercises they’d been taught as apprentices. Johanna had never cared much for them. 

The next words that come out of Volkarin’s mouth throw her for a loop. “Have you ever been in love, Johanna?”

One of the downsides of no longer having muscles or tendons is the inability to answer questions through exaggerated facial expressions alone. As much as it pains her to lend legitimacy to this line of inquiry, there’s a frightening intensity in his eyes suggestive of a commitment to this topic of conversation. She suspects he won’t accept a total deflection, or worse, that such an attempt might set off his moping again.

That still doesn’t mean it’s any of his blasted business. The time to be asking these types of questions was thirty years ago, not now. “I’m familiar with the concept,” she says acridly, hoping it’s enough to satisfy his curiosity before swiftly adding, “Not that I see how it’s of any relevance.”

Of course, Volkarin simply can’t leave it there. Instead, his lips purse, the look he now fixes Johanna with one of mixed pity and disappointment.

Infuriating man, to think such condescension could possibly affect her!

“Then you would know what it feels like,” he continues quietly, “to leave such matters unresolved with no resolution.”

Of course he would turn it around on her: a most pathetic and transparent attempt to make this an exercise in ‘practicing empathy’ instead of learning to properly communicate himself. She deftly avoids the obvious trap, cutting to the chase instead.

“You’re an idiot,” she states cleanly, simply. There’s a lack of malice in her words that surprises even her.

Volkarin must sense it too, because even though his body visibly tenses at the accusation, his reaction is short-lived. Instead, he allows his shoulders to slump—terrible posture, really—before running a hand through his tousled hair, the action accentuating the dark circles beneath his eyes. Finally, he sighs, a little huff of intermingled acceptance and defeat. Pinching the bridge of his nose once more, he answers, “I’m afraid you’ll have to explain yourself, Johanna.”

Now she’s really concerned, and even more adamant about not admitting it. Esteemed Professor Volkarin, inviting her to lecture? She’d never thought she’d see the day. Preening nonetheless, she doesn’t bother to disguise the elation from her voice as she points out the obvious. “Your paramour is trapped physically in the Fade, correct?”

Volkarin blinks; it’s too difficult for Johanna to distinguish whether he’s simply concentrating or staving off a fresh wave of tears, so she doesn’t bother.

“Correct,” he answers, fingers rubbing at his chin now, itching at the three-day-old growth which is a sight bewildering to even Johanna.

She does her best to continue ignoring the absurdity of it all as she continues.  “And my understanding is that you are indeed Professor Volkarin of the Mourn Watch, one of Thedas’s leading experts on the properties of said Fade, are you not?”

The masseter muscle in Volkarin’s jaw twitches. “I don’t see where you’re going with this.”

“You always did lack a certain vision,” she says with a sigh which could be described as downright nostalgic. “I simply ask, what would happen were the situation reversed? If you were the one trapped in the Fade?”

Volkarin’s face softens, lips twisted into a smile so besotted it sickens her. “Rook would stop at nothing less than breaking into the Fade barehanded.” Johanna watches him expectantly as his eyes widen in realisation and he mutters, “Oh. Oh dear.”

It would, of course, be too much to hope for him to actually admit that she had a point, that she was in fact, entirely correct as always.  “You always did give up far too easily,” she admonishes instead. “I’m frankly astonished you ever got anything done without me.”

Not only does he have to the gall to ignore her reprimand, he even adds to her immense displeasure by resuming his infernal pacing. There he goes, thump, thump, thump against the floorboards again. All take and no give, just as always.

A newfound wave of frustration pulses through Johanna’s consciousness and she’s hardly a patient person to begin with. “You know, when I told you this situation was entirely your fault, I wasn’t talking about the missteps you’ve made in your pathetic love life.” There’s a new vigour—an urgency—to his steps when he finally deigns to face her. His hands together with frenetic energy. “Johanna, this is hardly the time. There’s so much to set in motion—”

No. Absolutely not.

She refuses to be overlooked again.

Shouting over him, she demands to be heard. “YOU. RUINED. EVERYTHING.”

But Volkarin still won’t be diverted and waves a hand as though before himself as though to dismiss her accusations. What’s downright infuriating is the confirmation that this infatuation with some youth he’s known for less than six months means more to him than all the years they’d spent working together. He pulls books off their shelves with alarming velocity, muttering titles under his breath that Johanna can’t quite decipher.

Never one to back down from a challenge, Johanna tries again. “If only there was more at stake than locating your lost paramour,” she hedges.

Volkarin continues to ignore her, but she can see his hands shake.

She makes another attempt, but this time she doesn’t even bother to disguise any lingering traces of bitterness evident in her voice. Not that she had been holding back on purpose, of course. It’s simply a most peculiar situation in which they find themselves. “If only you had an old friend with practical experience in creating receptive Fade eddies.”

A sharp intake of breath. Aha! A reaction! He doesn’t look at her yet. “What do you suggest?”

She’s not going to let him off that easily. “I don’t know. I didn’t realise you were seeking my opinion on the matter.”

“Johanna.” He finally turns from the bookshelf, pushing back unruly locks of hair from his forehead. “I could not have expressed myself any more clearly.” “Only because I had to do nearly all the work of leading you there!” she snaps back in return. Despite her gnawing frustration, there’s comfort in the familiarity of their conflict, the back-and-forth, the diametric oppositions of their world views.

Johanna will never, ever admit it aloud, but she has missed him. Not that it means she wants to spend the rest of his life trapped in his study, mind you.

But still, better this than death, better this than the cowardice Volkarin had embraced with open arms. For all that the good professor harps on about morality, of propriety, of decorum, of kindness, the real difference between them is that Volkarin is little more than a persnickety academic, but Johanna is the true innovator. An inventor. Her experiments speak for themselves. Yes, her aptitude for the more experiential aspects of their art had resulted in her current predicament, but failure is only ever a temporary setback, so long as the fundamental nature of existence remains intact.

And right now, that can't be relied upon. Elgar’nan had changed the trajectory of the moon itself! Even Johanna balks at such audacity.

It's only then that she realises Volkarin has been silent too long, which is entirely suspicious for a man who so adores the sound of his own voice. But at least he isn’t snivelling again. No, instead his forehead is furrowed deep in thought, fingers scratching at his chin once more.

“Careful,” she warns.

Volkarin blinks, his attention snapping back to her. “What is it?”

“You’ll hurt yourself, thinking that hard about it.”

Strangely, he begins to smile. Maddening man! “I suppose it would be too much to hope for you to simply help me out of mere goodwill.”

Something about his tone and his expression manages to get under her skin even though she no longer has any. “Obviously. You know me better than that.”

“But you are considering offering lending your knowledge to our cause due to the mutually-aligned nature of our interests.” “I would’ve used less words,” she answers in agreement. He holds up an index finger as though about to lecture, but it’s evident in his posture that he’s barely able to restrain himself from pacing again. That he does manage to do so is a point in his favour, for now. “You’ve certainly made clear your opinion on my relationship with Rook.” When she opens her mouth to interject, he raises the other fingers on his hand, and despite herself, Johanna falls silent and allows him to continue. “Which brings me to the realisation your motive was to provide a distraction from my grief so I could recalibrate and continue on the necessary work that must be done in Rook’s … absence.”

While she’s glad to hear Volkarin’s voice tremble as he dances around the topic of the void Rook has left in his otherwise obviously miserable life, the fact that it even does so still rankles her. Even more frustrating is Volkarin ascribing emotions and feelings to her that she does not possess, as though he’s some sort of Chantry sister instead of a powerful necromancer.  “I just wanted to stop the racket,” she snaps.   

“Be that as it may, I couldn’t help but notice your choice of topic.” He sighs again, an exhalation of air that’s heavier than any of the noises she’s heard him make throughout their entire conversation. His shoulders slump. It makes her wish she could slap him with a ruler.

“For what it’s worth,” he continues, “I am sorry. Sorry lichdom failed you. Sorry you were unable to reach out to me. I amespecially sorry you felt the need to conquer the capital in order to attract my attention.” When he lifts his gaze to look at her properly, she is surprised to find his eyes glittering with a mischief that makes her feel thirty years younger. “Forgive me, but I am unaccustomed to receiving overtures of friendship disguised as attempted acts of war.” 

She has told herself many times over the years that she has always hated him. She wants to continue hating him the same way she has survived these last decades in his absence. But in this moment, something within her breaks. Perhaps it’s the way they’re hovering on the precipice of the end of the world, or maybe it’s even the way Volkarin’s eyes resemble a baby labrador’s. 

As it turns out, even she is not entirely immune to the proximity of Emmrich Volkarin’s moral fortitude. Everything according to the Mourn Watch’s plan, no doubt. Oh, she’s not an idiot: she knows why it’s his office in which she has been assigned to complete this part of her penance, even if Volkarin pretends they’re still figuring out the details. All these years of exile but still trapped by the consequences of oaths she had made when she had been much younger and more naïve.  

The realisation should really disgust her but she finds herself devoid of her usual anger and envy, bitterness and rage. She realises, too late, what it is that has broken inside her: the dam that had kept any other most inconvenient emotions at bay.  

A wave of vulnerability crashes over her and she is powerless to stop it. Her next words slip out of her before she’s even had time to think.

“You abandoned me.” Once spoken aloud, she wishes for nothing more than the ability to take the words back, if only to stop Volkarin staring at her like she’s just kicked him. The flame of hatred she holds for him at her core begins to flicker back to life.  

“Johanna, I….”

“Don’t you dare apologise to me!” she screams. Maker, she’d throttle him if she could. Discrete emotions become increasingly difficult to identify, she only knows that she’s been knocked off course and discombobulated despite only trying to help for once. She feels seven years old again, lost and scared in the chambers of the Grand Necropolis, hating all these stuffy mages and their prim propriety, hating the newfound knowledge that such arcane energies filled her veins as well. The only friendly face a shy boy not much older than herself, and she’d helped him out of his shell with her façade of fearlessness.

And in turn, she had watched as he had become one of them.

“You don’t understand,” she hisses. She chances a look directly at his eyes again. He’s patient. Waiting. Despite it all, he wants to understand. Damn him.  

But whether Johanna is capable of letting herself be understood is shakier ground, part of a vast expanse of uncharted territory that lies between them.

Putting it as bluntly as she can, she simply states, “Your parents died. Your parents loved you.”

Volkarin steeples his hands together, comprehension dawning on his features despite what continues to be left unsaid between them. “Ah. I—you never did tell me how you came to live at the Grand Necropolis.”

She scoffs. “What was there to tell? It’s only the same tale from all over Thedas. Parents have child. Parents don’t want a child with magic. Pah!” A surge of resentment swells within her. Why is she talking about this? Why is she talking about this with him? She hasn’t so much as thought about this in years. It hardly matters now. Just look at everything she’s achieved! She’s fifty-one years young and she’s going to live forever.

The thoughtful expression has returned to Volkarin’s face, and she’s grateful to find herself capable of hating it again. “You told me you were born near Perendale.” Why does he even remember that? Regretting ever telling him anything about herself, she answers, “I don’t see how that’s relevant.” Next he was going to be asking her whether she had ever been in love again. Why did he always insist on meddling in matters that didn’t concern him!

“That’s no insignificant distance to travel, especially with a young child in tow.”

“As though you’re an expert on travelling with young children,” she answers hotly, before recalling that pet skeleton of his. The way he doted on it, Johanna would be unsurprised to discover that Volkarin had indeed mistaken it for a real boy.  Very magnanimously, she decides against saying this part aloud.

She just wishes Volkarin would let the topic drop. In the past, she’d always retreated whenever he had threatened to dismantle her walls and bluster with his disaffecting sincerity and dogged determination.

But now, she is at his mercy. And she knows—better than anyone—that despite his spotty track record at seeing through his commitments, Volkarin is nothing if not thorough.  He’s an indecisive man, not a slothful one.

“I simply believe most parents do their best with the resources available to them.” He scratches at the side of his nose. “Most people do, in fact. Even if we cannot, at times, predict the consequences of our actions.” At this, he fixes her with a downright professorial stare.

“I am grateful I wasn’t snatched up by templars,” she begrudgingly admits. “I could have been sent to Kirkwall.”

The corner of Volkarin’s lips twitch. “Perish the thought. I do profess my gratitude that the Mourn Watch was able to take me into their care.”

It’s only when Johanna remains silent that Volkarin appears to realise his mistake. “Ah. Of course. They never did truly appreciate you.”

Volkarin’s words sound downright strange to her until she’s able to identify the anomaly: the phrasing is hers, not his. She continues to say nothing, entirely too suspicious of where he’s beginning to go with this. “And although I wouldn’t, as you said, dare apologise to you, I do want you to know I am aware that it was wrong of me not to speak in your defense when it came to the growing number of censures that had been amassed against you, even though your experiments benefitted my research. If I could redo that time in our lives again, I would have severed our partnership earlier and provided you a proper explanation of my decisions. “I suppose I assumed you would come around to my position on the matter. But I dare say you thought the same as well.” She watches the smooth column of his throat as he swallows nervously. “There was so much I was willing to overlook until I thought the price too high to pay. Naturally, recent events and conversations have elucidated to me that we have vastly different thresholds for such matters.” To say she is stunned is an understatement: that she has allowed him to prattle for this long without interruption is testimony to this fact. But it is even more stunning that to receive a proper explanation for the events that have haunted her for decades from the most conflict-avoidant man she has ever known. Other partnerships are unlikely to be repaired by an admission that they should have separated sooner, but nothing had ever been what one would call normal when it came to the two of them.

As much as it displeases her to admit it, Johanna is certain that Volkarin’s capacity to deliver his soliloquy was driven by Rook’s influence. What other force in this world but love would be strong enough to push a man like Volkarin to the brink of foolhardy bravery?

And while the thought is still annoying, it doesn’t sting as much as it once had.  

Thus, it is with nostalgia and not bitterness that she remarks, “We could have done brilliant things together, Emmrich.”

Her use of his first name does not go unnoticed. How could it? His eyebrows raise so high they nearly disappear into his receded hairline. “You haven’t called me that in over thirty years,” he protests.

“And it’ll be thirty more until I use it again,” she insists in return. “Just tell me the truth. Was there ever a moment in time when you appreciated the power and potential at our fingertips? That you thought we could have been the ones to rule this world?”

He averts his gaze. Grinds his teeth. “Yes,” he finally admits. “I saw it. But it would have never been worth the cost.” Johanna scoffs. “There’s always some crackpot trying to take over the world. It might as well have been us. We had the best chance of it. Both of us liches, our knowledge combined, my brilliance counterbalanced with your compassion… There was a reason I kept a bleeding heart like you as a partner for so many years. But I underestimated your sentimentality.” She wouldn’t be making that mistake again, that was for certain. Just look at the situation it had landed her in! She would simply have to figure out how to best wield it to her purposes while she remained trapped here. If Volkarin thought she wasn’t going to continue using every tool at her disposal to facilitate her great escape, then he was sorely mistaken.

“Yes,” Volkarin answers softly, crows’ feet at the corner of his eyes wrinkling as he gazes at her with discomfiting fondness. “I dare say you did. Just as I am guilty at times of underestimating your brilliance.” He swivels on the spot and Johanna is afraid he’s going to resume his pacing but the walk he has in mind for now is mercifully short, only over to the bowl on his desk where he’s deposited the majority of his grave gold.

“What are you doing?” she hisses, hating how urgent her voice sounds to her own consciousness. She always hates it when he behaves erratically.

“I was under the impression we had work to do, my dear.”

“Absolutely not.” Surely it hadn’t been so long he’d forgotten her utter loathing of pet names.

He laughs, then, long and rich. It is a definite improvement on the snivelling. “Force of habit. Won’t happen again,” he promises. “First things first. I do believe you had some knowledge to impart on the practical applications of receptive Fade eddies?”

“Getting ahead of yourself as always, Volkarin,” she says by way of reprimand. “You need a bath. I don’t have olfactory glands and even I can tell that you reek. And a shave.”

He rubs his hand against his chin again, eyes widening as though surprised to find it covered by hair. “Ah! Yes. Thank you.”

“Completely and utterly useless.” This time, she’s disgusted by the tenderness in her own voice. Oh, no, this won’t do at all. “While you’re at it,” she adds, determined to get their shared task back on track, “get the elf girl and your skeleton boy. We’ll need to replace the stolen dagger in order to kill a god. And I don’t know about you, but ancient elven gadgets are hardly my area of expertise.”

“Of course, I’ll speak with Bellara.” His brow furrows. “But why do you want Manfred?”

“Because I don’t have arms, you idiot.” It really does make building things more difficult. And she won’t even be able to inadvertently kill the wisp this time due to the aforementioned lack of limbs. It’ll work perfectly, really.

“Consider it done.”

Not having much other choice in the matter, Johanna watches as Volkarin gathers his bathing supplies and heads towards the door.

It is on the threshold that he pauses and looks back at her, his hazel eyes bright with fiery determination. “I’ve always appreciated you, Johanna Hezenkoss. Let us continue doing brilliant things together.”

And then he is gone, door to his study closing gently shut behind him.

[sappho-biohazard]

Catra being told at the age of 6 by shadow weaver that the only reason she was kept around was because Adora was fond of her. A little girl is being told by her mother figure that her entire existence is conditional around another person’s affection of her, that her value is measured by how much she’s wanted by that person, that worth is defined by that relationship, that her survival depends on that relationship, the literal difference between life and death for her depends on that relationship.

The fact that this reflects the reality of so many women for so many centuries, how their worth in a patriarchal society is defined by their relationship to others (mostly men) and the enactment of their roles as wives or daughters. How their safety and survival depended on those relationships and how the loss of them meant danger and even death. Which is exactly what happened with Catra. She wasn’t treated that well before when Adora was around, but there were still some limits, soldiers would apologise to her due to her relationship to adora, but then adora left and she wasn’t around to protect her anymore. Catra’s literal lifeline was gone, and so was her safety and worth. Catra spends the entirety of show trying to reclaim that safety and worth, by making a name of herself, by carving a place for herself, by establishing her value and independence and gaining recognition as her own person instead of another person’s accessory or shadow or extension.

[erin-gilberts]

I have a firm belief that the only way Yellowjackets can end is with the death of each of the remaining survivors and [redacted] was just the first (second, really) of what will be all of them in time. "The wilderness" will reclaim them one by one because they weren't supposed to leave. But also they will be swallowed up by their own darkness in their refusal to acknowledge it and that will be the great tragedy of it. All of their deaths will be preventable, but inevitable in light of the cycles they keep on repeating.

[rainhadaenerys]

Unpopular opinion, but I really do not see Dany as this "oh so tragic" and "oh so full of trauma" character. She has bad things happen to her like every other ASOIAF character, but she isn't really super traumatized or unable to deal with what happens in her life, and the tone of her story isn't really one of tragedy: on the contrary, her story is full of her overcoming hardships. It's full of triumphs. Even the low point she hits at the end of ADWD is just setting up her journey to finally crush the slavers and become the Stallion who Mounts the World. And then when she goes to Westeros, she will be one of the people to defeat the Others.

I find it a little bit annoying when I see people reading her character purely through the lens of "oh she suffered to much, she was raped by her husband, she was abused by her brother, she doesn't have a home, she is so tragic, etc" (I'm not saying people can't discuss these topics, by the way, I'm just saying that it annoys me when this is the ONLY thing people talk about when it comes to Dany). First, because this isn't the majority of her story, this is mostly part of her early story or backstory, and the main part of her story are the things she does after that, her triumphs and hardships trying to lead her people, fight a war, fight the status quo, and so on. It's a little annoying to see a character who has such a great complex political and magical storyline, a great adventure, all be reduced to "she is just an abused girl who suffered", with all other aspects of her story being ignored. But most importantly, I think this reading of Dany as this tragic character, by Dany stans and Dany haters alike, gives fuel to a bunch of other annoying readings of her character: the neutrals use the "oh so tragic" narrative to argue that her story has to end with her dying and she has nothing else to contribute to the main story other than sacrificing herself and be a tragic hero. Meanwhile, the antis use the "oh so tragic" narrative to claim that they sympathize with Dany, but her trauma is going to make her crazy, paranoid, a villain, etc. Or, when they don't say that her trauma is going to make her a villain, they claim that she was always a villain and use her "trauma" to claim that they sympathize with her and that her "trauma" makes her such a complex villain.

[clonehighdoublehelix]

[youryurigoddess]

The classical proxemic theory (Hall, 1966) classifies interpersonal distance into four categories:

Public distance, maintained in impersonal settings (above 210 cm)

Social distance, maintained in interpersonal, but formal settings (122-210 cm)

Personal distance, maintained in interactions with friends and family members (about 46 to 122 cm)

Intimate distance, maintained only in closest relationships (from 0 to 46 cm)

No wonder that Aziraphale and Crowley had to be eventually separated by force — otherwise the speed with which they were closing their intimacy gap would render them useless against the Second Coming.

[flightfoot]

You know, I love seeing Alya in a lot of different fics, and I've seen her depicted in a few different ways.

I enjoy seeing her just being there, taking on a similar role to what she does in the show, helping out when needed, and overall being a kind person who enjoys helping others.

But while I like seeing her in that capacity, since it's a positive portrayal that is nice to her, it's not the sort of portrayal that really gets me excited. It's a kind of "background, supporting character" kind of portrayal, and while that's needed sometimes, it doesn't really develop her all that much.

The depictions of her that really get me excited, that make me gush about how well the fanfic's treating her, are the ones that don't just portray her positively, but instead treat her like a full person. Ones that delve into her emotions, her viewpoint, and even her biases, that let her make decisions based on what's best for her personally, and maybe even regret them later. But importantly, she's not treated as being bad or evil for this, but instead as a person who's muddling through life as best she can, who has things she wants and values in conflict.

Actually the show touched on this sort of thing as well, it's one of the reasons I really liked Alya in Rocketear. We got to see her struggle with her conflicting loyalties to both Marinette and Nino, with wanting to follow Marinette's orders while also not wanting to lie to Nino and potentially damage their relationship. And I liked her eventually telling Nino that she's helping Ladybug, because she didn't want to continue lying to him after that particular lie had already caused damage in their relationship. And while Alya later was dismayed at how things went down in the finale, Marinette didn't blame her, understood where she was coming from, and wanted her to continue.

That's the sort of thing I want to see. For Alya to have her own viewpoint and to make decisions based not simply on eternal loyalty to one person, but as a result of weighing her different values and wanting things to work out in the best way she can make them. And for her to sometimes be wrong or for something to have negative consequences, and still have her treated with kindness and respect. For her desires to be treated as being a worthy reason to do things, because her desire to be happy matters.

Like... with Marinette, I'll see this represented in fanfiction frequently. Marinette can be snappy or irritated, or even lie and hide things because she thinks they'll lead to a better outcome, and even when she hurts others in the process, the narrative is often sympathetic to her and gives credence to her thoughts, emotions, and viewpoints, and depicts her trying to make things better for herself as an understandable thing.

While for Alya, it's a lot harder to find something like that. Most of the time she's in a supportive role where any personal issues she has aren't focused on and she's mostly there to help out Marinette with whatever she has going on. In a lot of fics where she DOES do something for her own personal benefit, when she prioritizes herself at all or simply weighs all her different relationships and balances them as best she can, but in a way that's detrimental to the person the author likes the most, she'll be portrayed as a horrible, cruel person deserving of punishment, or at the very least as needing to learn a harsh lesson to become a better person. Any desire to do something for herself or to help maintain relationships she values is looked at in the worst possible light.

Just... I love stories that allow Alya the same sort of grace and understanding as most main characters are afforded.

[heart-of-ep]

Elvis: Through Her Lens (Chapter One)

(Elvis Presley × OC Reader)

Character/Fandom: Elvis Presley

Read More Here: Elvis: Through Her Lens (coming soon)

Prompt: You are Minnie Jones, an aspiring photographer working for the LA Sentinel. Your chief editor is looking for a story that will help boost the popularity of the paper, so an opportunity comes knocking when Colonel Tom Parker approaches him with a new 'snowjob.' After a tentative first meeting with the Colonel, and his star Elvis Presley, you are hired on to follow Elvis around as his personal photographer in an attempt to catch lightening in a bottle twice with the earlier success of the Alfred Wertheimer photos. Along the way, you develop a close bond with Elvis, leading to complications in your relationship when the issues of his marriage and eventual drug usage start to put a strain on your relationship. Constantly fighting your ever-growing feelings for him, you are swept up into the whirlwind of Elvis' world, which forces you to see the King of Rock 'n' Roll through a new lens.

Tags: Slow burn. Angst. Drama. Friends to lovers (sort of).

Rating: PG-13 (ish) (may get spicy but won't be explicit as I don't enjoy writing smut lol but cursing, possible violence, prescription drug use, and infidelity will appear throughout the story.)

Word Count: 3.6k

Author's Note: Hey everyone! My name is Mari (aka heart.of.ep on here and Instagram!) and I'm so excited to finally be diving into the world of Elvis fanfiction after being a hard-core fan for almost three years now. This is my first time writing in a long while, and it's only my second time writing a fanfiction, so I hope I'm able to entertain you with this story and I hope everyone has a fun time reading it!

I did create an OC for this story as I have an easier time writing with a specific character in mind, but I kept it in second person as to give readers the opportunity to self insert in a way. Wasn't a fan of this POV at first but its really grown on me so hopefully I've done it well haha.

This story will begin by following Elvis in 1970 (my favorite year 🤭) but will continue on throughout the early 1970s! There may be some historical inaccuracies along the way to accommodate the presence of Minnie Jones, but of course I'm always striving to keep things as accurate as I possibly can.

I don't think I will have a specific upload schedule or regular time for posting, but I'll try my best to be as frequent as I can with uploading chapters. Any comments, thoughts, reblogs, etc are very much appreciated and I genuinely hope everyone loves this story as much as I do. 🙏

If you'd like to be tagged in any chapters going forward, just comment and let me know!

Thank you once again and I hope everyone enjoys!

February, 1970

Los Angeles, CA

~*~*~*~*~*~

Elvis Presley.

The most photographed man in the world, and for good reason it seemed. Impossibly blue eyes that swirled like the depth of an ocean, statuesque like features that even a Greek god would most likely be jealous of, and a brilliant smile that sent millions of girls and women all around the world into a complete frenzy whenever he flashed it their way.

It made perfect sense then why his face was pretty much plastered on every magazine you ever came in contact with. Not to mention the various movie posters you would often see at the theater throughout the years. You could even recall being just about twelve years old when Love Me Tender first hit theaters. Even at such a young age, you could see why everyone sitting around you in that dark theater were either crying or screaming. His beauty seemed to transcend the realm of normal.

As hyperbolic as it may seem, no one in the world looked like Elvis Presley, that much was certain.

Unfortunately, while many photos exist, most are heavily curated, either on a movie set or in a studio with lighting and makeup. It didn't make him any less beautiful, but it did give the fans and the public a very specific view of the King, one controlled by Hollywood and his manager, Colonel Tom Parker.

In the early days, there were hundreds of photos of Elvis that appeared in newspapers from fans and those photographers who were lucky enough to capture a picture of lightning in a bottle. But those days were far gone, and nothing like it has surfaced since.

And that's exactly why you had been brought to your editor's office early one morning in February of 1970. You had been busy working on gathering photos for a local political campaign, which was a real bore, but someone had to do it and you didn't exactly have the seniority to say no. But when your manager called you about a new project, you were practically chomping at the bit to accept. Of course, you wanted to hear him out first.

“You've been doing great work, Minnie. These shots are truly some of the best this paper has seen in a while.” Your editor, Mr Pierce, said as he looked over the pictures you had submitted this morning.

“Thank you, sir. Though, I think there's only so much I can do to make a rally look interesting.” You said jokingly.

Your boss snorted. “You're right about that.” He sighed before sitting the folder down on his desk. “Which is exactly why I called you here. I think your talents are being wasted on shit like this.” He said bluntly. Your boss never did sugarcoat. “I was recently brought an opportunity from a rather…private sort of individual, and I think you would be the perfect fit.”

You raised an eyebrow, now rather curious. Usually your paper only covered public events or individuals. “Who exactly is it?”

Pierce seemed hesitant at first to tell you, but eventually he decided to just come right out and say it. “Elvis Presley.”

Your eyes widened in disbelief. "Elvis Presley?” You weren’t sure if you had cotton in your ears or if maybe you were imagining it, but Pierce noticed your surprise and quickly added some context to explain.

“Yes, Elvis Presley. I can’t say I had a very different reaction when his manager called me a couple days ago.” He said as he sat down in the chair behind his desk. “I’m sure you know that Mr Presley has been taking a step back into live performances this past year, which means every photographer worth a damn is chomping at the bit to capture the ‘best’ photo of him possible for their respective news outlet. So far they’ve been doing a damn good job. Meanwhile, we’ve got nothing.” He grumbled in frustration. “Needless to say, Presley is the hottest talk in town, and we’re failing to keep up.”

You furrowed your brow a bit. “I don’t understand…why did his manager contact us?” If there were already dozens of papers covering Elvis’s shows from all across the world, then why contact a somewhat small paper in Los Angeles?

Pierce seemed to light up at your question. “I had the same question, my dear.” He stood up again, unable to sit still. “Are you familiar with Alfred Wertheimer?”

The name was instantly recognizable. Any real photographer knew of Wertheimer’s work, especially if you knew anything about Elvis Presley. “Of course I know about him. His work with Presley is still amazing even now.” You said, trying your best to keep your adulation in check.

“Well, no photo of Elvis Presley has been taken like that since Wertheimer almost fifteen years ago.” He frowned a bit. “Seems as though his manager,” and apparent publicist, “wants to change that. With all this new buzz surrounding Presley, he wants to see if he can capture lightning in a bottle twice.”

It quickly began to dawn on you what this all meant exactly. “Shit.” You muttered under your breath.

Perhaps Alfred Wertheimer didn’t mean much to the uninitiated, but the photographs of Elvis were completely unprecedented. Just at the cusp of fame and without the glitz and glamor that would soon overtake him in Hollywood, Wertheimer was able to capture a view of Elvis that was both intimate, but also honest and revealing in a way that didn’t feel voyeuristic in the slightest. It was the picture and story of an Elvis Presley that still felt entirely obtainable and human. It was truly a special form of artistic expression that only a photographer with a great deal of talent could accomplish.

Which is precisely why you were sitting there staring at your boss like he had completely lost his mind. “S-sir...you’re not suggesting that I…?”

Pierce smiled at you and nodded. “I knew immediately that you’d be the perfect candidate, my dear. After all, it was your photos covering the Nixon inauguration that sparked Mr Parker’s curiosity to begin with.”

You practically felt your heart leap in your chest, leaving you utterly speechless for a long moment. This was definitely a step up from a local mayoral campaign.

The prospect of photographing someone as famous as Elvis Presley was exciting on its own, but from how your boss explained it, this wouldn’t be a simple snap and go for a quick column on page four of the paper. To compare it to Wertheimer’s work made you realize just how important this opportunity was. This side of Elvis hadn’t been captured in over a decade, and no doubt it would catapult your career towards opportunities you’ve only ever dreamed of covering.

“Well?” Pierce’s voice snaps you from your thoughts. “Of course, we would still have to meet with Mr Parker and Mr Presley.” He said as he sat back down in his chair.

You parted your lips, not sure what to say at first before you finally pushed your excitement down and immediately stood up. “Well? Of course I want to!” You said, practically grinning from ear to ear. “Jesus, Pierce, this is amazing!”

He smirked a bit. “I take it you’re an Elvis fan?”

You rolled your eyes. “Everyone likes Elvis, but that’s not what matters. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.” You had to stop yourself from jumping with joy.

He laughed a little before standing up again as he dialed a number on his phone. “Presley just finished up his current residency in Las Vegas. According to Parker he’ll be back here in Los Angeles before leaving for a string of concerts in Houston.” He held the phone up to his ear. “We can plan a meeting between you two beforehand. After all, this whole thing is dependent on Elvis Presley liking you enough to let you follow him around.”

You felt your smile dissipate a little at that realization. You hadn’t exactly considered that part in the few minutes you had to think about everything. You were charming enough, but this was Elvis Presley. Enough wouldn’t cut it. You swallowed a bit, but nodded, ignoring the sudden flurry of nerves that swarmed in your stomach.

This is your one shot, Minn. Don’t screw this up.

The next few hours felt like a whirlwind. You spent the majority of that time researching anything and everything about Elvis Presley. As it turns out, a lot had happened since his pictorial debut in Love Me Tender. You hadn’t exactly been keeping up with his career, and now all of it seemed a bit overwhelming. You weren’t sure what to expect from a man like him, especially since any other celebrity you had the opportunity to meet usually turned out to be a total asshole. You didn’t think he would be any different. After all, the humble southerner with perfect manners and an award winning smile just felt too good to be true.

You flipped through a magazine from the stack on your desk, biting your lip in concentration as you read over the raving reviews from Elvis’ previous engagement at the International Hotel in Vegas last summer. You vaguely remember one of your girlfriends at the time mentioning it in passing, but you hadn’t thought much of it. Now you wondered if you were completely insane for having overlooked the entire thing.

The photos of him were truly magnificent, picturing him in a slim fitting two piece jumpsuit that seemed inspired by the style of a karate gi. It alternated between black and white depending on the night of the show, and you couldn’t help but think about how well the black complemented his dark chiseled features. It was a much different look than his earlier appearances throughout the sixties. The greased back hair was now loose and untamed, a reflection of the evolving style in the entertainment world, and the button ups and blazers now seemed to be replaced by a bare chested look accompanied by a stylish scarf around the neck.

Quite frankly, it was hard not to get caught up in the image of him, but you quickly reminded yourself that even though he was Elvis Presley, world famous superstar, he was also just a subject for you to photograph at the end of the day.

A very beautiful subject, indeed.

You practically chewed off all of your fingernails by the time Pierce came out of his office in the early afternoon, approaching your desk with an optimistic look in his eyes. “Good news, Minn, it looks like you’ll be meeting Elvis Presley tonight.”

Your heart leaped in your chest as you stood up from your desk, prying your eyes away from the papers on your desk. “Really? He agreed to the meeting?”

“He sure did, though I doubt that manager gave him much of a choice.” He snorted. “A real carny, that one, but it’ll all be worth it if we can secure this job. Our paper will practically fly off the stands if you can snap those photos.” He grinned.

“Right, no pressure.” You mumbled, trying to ease your growing anxiety as you imagined all the ways this could possibly go wrong.

“Don’t worry, Minn. You’re charming and pretty. Knowing Presley’s reputation, that’ll surely be enough.” He smirked, nudging you a bit before turning on his heel toward his office.

You shot him a glare before letting out a deep breath as you quickly gathered up your portfolio, shoving the photographs inside the binder before standing up and pulling your coat on. You refused to let your nerves get the best of you, after all, this is your job. And as such, you weren’t going to let this opportunity slip through your fingers.

The ride over to Beverly Hills felt long and seemingly endless. You kept staring out the window, focusing your gaze on the large mansions that you drove past, frowning as you realized just how out of your league you really felt. After all, you hadn’t exactly been to this side of LA. The few times you had gotten the chance to photograph a celebrity, it had always been at some sort of public event like an awards show or some kind of charity fundraiser. This, however, felt like a strange new world that you were entering.

You briefly wondered why Elvis and his manager didn’t just come down to the office to conduct this whole ‘interview’ or set up a meeting somewhere on Sunset Blvd, but when you asked Pierce about it, he simply explained the logistics of having Elvis Presley go somewhere so public. You didn’t think much of it, assuming that since it’s Los Angeles nobody would care very much about a celebrity walking around, but then you recalled the different articles you had read and figured maybe Elvis didn’t quite fit into that category.

You chewed on your fingernails, watching as the mansions grew larger before you finally descended upon a set of cast iron gates blocking a long driveway that kept a house just out of view. Much to your surprise, there was a fairly large group of fans already stationed outside, giggling amongst themselves as they took photos with their polaroid cameras. You glanced at Pierce, giving him a skeptical look to which he simply shrugged. He pulled up to the gates, and without having to push a doorbell of any kind, the gates buzzed and suddenly opened up, the crowd of fans quickly dispersing out of the way.

It surprised you to see that they didn’t try following the car inside, but they stayed respectful and stuck to the exterior as the gates closed shut behind you and Pierce pulled forward, parking his car next to a small, but impressive, collection of Cadillacs. You figured if everything fell through with Elvis, maybe he’d be okay with you snapping a few photos of his cars as a consolation gift.

Once again, you pushed down the flurry of nerves that settled in your stomach, realizing it was stupid to feel so nervous over a simple meeting. After all, it’s not like you were the one who set the whole thing up, if they weren’t really interested, they wouldn’t have gone through all of this trouble. That thought helped qualm the uneasiness you felt as you stepped out of the car, looking up at the gorgeous home that overlooked the rolling hills below.

It really did feel like the perfect place for a superstar like Elvis to live.

“Come on, Miss Jones, we’re about to make history.” Pierce grinned as he took the lead, following the brick pathway up to the front door of the mansion.

You self consciously kept messing with your hair, tucking the loose strands behind your ear and pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose as you anxiously awaited for the door to open. When the door opened, you and Pierce were met by a rather short fellow with a goofy smile.

“Mr Pierce?” The man in front of you inquired.

Your boss nodded and smiled. “Yes, and this is my associate Miss Jones.” He said as he gestured toward you. “I believe Mr Parker is expecting us?”

The fellow nodded and smiled again as he quickly stepped aside to let the two of you in. “Right this way.” He closed the door behind him and then led you down the long hallway that acted as the entranceway before spilling out into a rather lavishly decorated and open floor plan. You briefly considered how many rooms the house had before realizing it was probably too many to count from this juncture.

“The Colonel is waiting in the office.” The man said, interrupting your thoughts as he led you and Pierce down another hall towards a beautiful sculpted oak door.

“What about Mr Presley?” You asked without thinking.

“Elvis will be down shortly.” He replied, once again with a lopsided grin before he knocked on the door to the office and pushed it open. “Colonel? Those two journalists from the Los Angeles Sentinel are here.”

“Send them in.” You heard a strange sounding voice say from inside the office.

The man stepped aside, letting Pierce and you step into the room. Your gaze immediately fell upon the robust man sitting at the desk, a large almost comical sized cigar sticking out of his mouth, and a stylish looking barét that clashed with the rest of his ensemble. His steely gaze landed on both you and Pierce the moment you stepped into the room, regarding the two of you with a frown before he removed his cigar and put it out in the ash tray.

Pierce glanced at you, giving a look that said more than enough, before looking at the somewhat unsettling man. “Uh, you must be Mr Parker–”

“Colonel.” The man huffed, his accent a strange mix of southern and something else you couldn't quite identify.

“Excuse me?” Pierce asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Colonel Tom Parker.” The man repeated himself before smiling, though it seemed off and not at all genuine.

Pierce cleared his throat. “Right. Colonel Parker. My name is Steven Pierce, I'm the editor of the LA Sentinel. We spoke over the phone a few times.” He said before gesturing to you. “This is my associate, Minnie Jones. She's one of my best photographers and the one responsible for the portfolio I sent you.” He explained.

The Colonel glanced your way, regarding you for a long moment. If you weren't self conscious already, you certainly were now, but you refused to let yourself show how nervous you were.

“Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you.” You said, stepping forward and extending your hand for him to shake.

The Colonel snorted, which struck you immediately as rude, but he shook your hand regardless. You did your best to hide your frown, making sure this man didn't pick up on your displeasure at his general demeanor. “I have to say, Miss Jones, I'm quite impressed with your photos here.” He said as he sat back in his seat, opening up a binder in front of him. “I can't say I was super eager at the idea of someone following my boy around, least of all someone working for a lousy tabloid. But it seems like any publicity is good publicity, my dear.”

You glanced at Pierce for a moment, quickly registering the anger that flashed across his face, before cutting in. “Yes, well…I think this could be very beneficial for Mr Presley. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words. And with all due respect, the LA Sentinel is a newspaper, not a tabloid. We just want to publish the truth, not lies.” You said calmly.

"Truth is subjective.” The Colonel shot back. “But it's true that my boy needs some good publicity. After all, a good thing can't last forever.” He said before standing up. “I'll make it simple for you, Miss Jones. All photos taken must be submitted and approved by me before printing. If I find out they're not, you won't have a story to tell anymore.” He said bluntly.

You swallowed a bit before nodding.

“Secondly, Elvis appreciates his privacy as you might imagine, so you will be working according to his schedule and his requests. Simply put, if he doesn't want you there, you won't be there.” He said as he picked up his cigar and stuck it back between his lips.

That's when Pierce cut in. “With all due respect, Colonel, my employee isn’t going to work at the whim of your client. This is still a job at the end of the day.” You shoot him a glare, not wanting him to ruin the opportunity for you, even if you knew he was right.

“Don't worry, Mr Peers,” The Colonel said, purposely mispronouncing his name, “Miss Jones will be accommodated, but if you two want the story you're looking for, you'll have to work with my boy’s fluctuating schedule.” He explained. “That won't be a problem, will it?”

Before Pierce could say anything, you stepped forward. “Of course not. I'm sure we can work with whatever his schedule may be.” You said firmly.

“Good.” The Colonel smiled, much to Pierce's chagrin. “We’ll write up a proper contract with all the logistics before you leave, but I think now is a great time for you to meet Elvis.”

Suddenly all your nerves instantly returned, but before you had much time to even think about what was happening, the Colonel was walking out the door and down the hall. Both you and Pierce quickly followed, keeping with his surprisngly fast pace as he limped with his cane towards the living room area you had passed by earlier.

“Minn, are you sure about this?” Pierce hissed by your ear as he leaned over to you. “This isn't exactly what I thought you were signing up for.”

You looked up at him, biting your lip for a second before nodding, standing firm with your decision. “C’mon, Pierce. We both know this is too good to pass up.” You whispered before the three of you entered the room.

The man who had let you into the house earlier was there with a couple of other guys you hadn't seen. You saw that Elvis wasn't there, frowning a bit as you folded your arms and looked at the Colonel. “Where's Mr Presley?” You asked, feeling a little impatient and maybe a little excited.

“Right here, honey.”

You froze, goosebumps rolling over your skin for some inexplicable reason, as if some kind of force you didn't recognize had suddenly entered the room. You slowly turned around, coming face to face with the most famous man in the world.

Shit.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated! Let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list ~

Taglist: @60svintage @moonchild-daniella @ken-kenzie-zie

[amuwo]

Will defend Quess until I die tbh

At first I was really confused over what they were trying to do with her but then it hit me.

Imagine you're a 13yo girl in 2008 who really really likes uc gundam and you have a crush on the evil blond man. You draw him all the time and you post him to deviantart until one day u have a cool idea to make your own fanfiction where a self insert of YOU is in the gundam world.

And in this world you get to meet char and he immediately asks you to join him because he can detect your coolgirl aura, you're not like those stupid other preps you're cool and into revolutionary politics. You are a rly powerful newtype and rock at piloting because of course you are you're the main character and this is YOUR fantasy damn it

And also because you're the main character you get to have a cool hair colour that stands out and everyone in universe loves you and protects you and char is totally not using you!!! You are a valued member of his team you are not just a political pawn because of your father!!!!!

Char's counter attack is quess' world and everyone else was just living in it

[amongthezinnias]

the thing about pushing daisies is like.

there is a part of yourself that you hide away from everyone else. it is a neutral fact, objectively neither good nor bad, but you isolate yourself from others because of it, and it is entwined with a sense of guilt you have carried since you were a child. it is a fact about yourself that you can't change, only hide.

you have a secret that changes your relationship with every person who learns it.

you have a secret that you fear will bring harm to yourself or to someone you love, because you fear the way others will react to that secret.

you have a secret that makes it dangerous to touch the person you love dearly. you have a secret that makes it dangerous to tell others about your relationship with the person you love dearly. and yet, the relationship with the person you love dearly would not exist without your secret.

you have a secret that has brought both bad and good into your life. you have a secret that has brought everything good into your life. you have a secret that, you will learn, you don't have to bear alone.