#threepio would try very hard but would be defeated heartily

[supertaliart]

More Skywalker Sibling time! Now with a sequel

Part 3

[dameronology]

insomnia {poe dameron} - 5

summary: as you & finn go about finding secrets on your commander, you have to decide what’s more important - your loyalty to the resistance, or your loyalty to poe {series masterlist}

warnings: angst, swearing, mentions of injury 

enjoy!! i shall be going back to do the taglist in the morning because i am ✨exhausted✨

- jazz

Poe’s faced out to the front of the base, which meant they were often flooded with light. Being woken up by the golden sun beating down on your face quickly became one of your favourite parts of spending the night with him - aside from the obvious of his presence, of course. With your limbs tangled together under the sheets, his arms around your waist and face pressed into your shoulder, it was hard not to smile immediately after stirring. It might have been the first time in months that either of you actually got some sleep and not stayed up all night working. Things had a funny way of working out. 

You woke up on Friday morning with a few butterflies in your tummy - not because of Poe, but rather because you were about to lie to him. 

After confirming the plan for your little mission with Finn the night before, you were supposed to be leaving the base just after noon. The pilot in question hadn’t seemed too phased when his best friend and...well, whatever you were were both suddenly available at the same time. You’d said that you had a team meeting with the rest of Trident Squadron, and Finn had made up something about having plans with Rey. You felt beyond guilty at the prospect of keeping the truth from Poe but there was too much at risk. If he found out, he’d want to act on it immediately - too quickly and too irrationally. Of course, there was no guarantee of that, but if anyone could predict his behaviour, it was you and Finn. The even bigger if was lying in how much was at risk; Winslow being a double-agent to an external organisation could have proven to be the downfall of the Resistance. You had a duty and a loyalty. 

‘Good morning.’ Poe pressed a soft kiss to the back of your neck, his grip on your waist tightening as he hugged you to his chest. ‘D’you sleep okay?’

You turned around to press to face him, a sleepy smile on your features. ‘Better than usual.’

‘Who woulda thought?’ He said. ‘So many sleepless nights, and all we needed was each other.’

‘The fact you have a bigger bed and nicer quarters sure helps as well.’ You teased. 

‘So you’re using me for my status?’ Poe over-dramatically clutched his chest.

‘Even the notion is insulting, Dameron.’ You grinned. ‘Anyways, I hate to ruin the moment but I have to get ready for that...meeting’

‘I hate that Winslow makes you have meetings on Fridays.’ He grumbled. ‘It’s the one morning I have off.’

Okay, that hurt your chest a little bit. It was hard enough as it was to find moments alone with Poe, hence why you’d taken to staying in his quarters pretty much every night since you’d first kissed. It was literally the only time you had to yourselves, especially since you’d both started to fall into a normal sleeping pattern. Part of you missed the long nights you’d spent together in the hangar, when it had just been you and him and several cups of caff, or when you’d sneak into the Falcon and head out to Yavin-4. That’s not to say they were gone completely, but your relationship had changed, and so had the things you did together. 

Still, you wouldn’t have changed how things had progressed for the world. He was starting to become everything to you. 

‘It’s only this week.’ You ran a comforting hand through his hair. ‘Next week, I’m all yours.’

‘Every day?’

‘Every day that I can be.’ You smiled. ‘Depends on how badly you ruin your fleet on that mission on Monday. The less damage, the less time I spend fixing the fucking things.’

‘Then I suppose we just shouldn’t go.’ Poe heartily sighed. ‘I’ll message Snap and get him to pass the message on-’

‘- Poe.’ You groaned. His brown eyes creased into a smile, clearly entertained by the whole thing. 

‘So you’re saying I shouldn’t ditch an important mission to spend more time with you?’ He teased. ‘Maybe I’m not such a bad influence on you after all.’

‘Considering that I’m laying in bed with you at 10AM when we know full well that the General wanted us in the hangar two hours ago is proof that you very much are.’ You reminded him.

‘Leia doesn’t care.’ He murmured, nuzzling his head into your shoulder. ‘She’s so here for young love.’

‘At the expense of us being late to everything?’ You raised an eyebrow. 

‘I’m sure her and Han Solo did the same.’

‘Have you seen a young Han Solo?’ You teased. ‘I would have left the entire Rebellion if that man asked me to.’

Poe let out an oof, raising his head to glare at you. ‘So your type must be cocky, handsome pilots?’ 

‘You might be into something.’ 

‘I don’t blame you.’ He replied. ‘He was very good looking.’ 

‘I know - and I do really need to get going.’ You pressed a kiss to his jaw. 

‘When will your meeting be done?’ 

‘It’s Winslow, so probably hours.’ You lied with ease. Maybe too much. ‘I’ll drop you a message when I’m done.’ 

Kijimi wasn’t that far out - you and Finn could have been back in a matter of hours. It all It all came down to what Winslow was up to and how long you’d have to follow her for. Perhaps choosing to use a meeting as your alibi hadn’t been the brightest idea, especially if you were going to be out all day. You already hated lying to Poe and the prospect of digging the deception even further made your chest tight. Things between you were good but they were still so fresh. So fragile. You didn’t want to fuck it up - but you couldn’t let this go. 

You promised yourself that you would tell him if you found anything out. In fact, he’d probably be the first person. You were only keeping it from him for now because you had his best interests at heart, right? 

‘Or, you could stay for ten more minutes.’ Poe pressed a kiss to your cheek. 

‘Five.’

‘Fifteen?’

‘Fine.’ 

--

Finn didn’t look all too pleased that you were late - especially when you skidded round the corner of the air hangar, hair still dripping wet from the shower and boot laces untied. He was leant against the side of a jet, eyes glued to his watch and his brows furrowed. You were only twenty minutes late; Poe was very convincing, and when you paired that with the guilt you were already feeling, it hadn’t been hard to keep you trapped for the better part of thirty minutes. Trapped was a strong word, actually, because staying glued to him and partaking in some kind of bogus teenage makeout session had very much been a choice. 

‘Sorry, sorry, sorry!’ You almost tripped over a strewn wire as you bolted towards him. ‘I lost track of time!’

Finn jumped at your voice, taking you by the shoulders as you neared him. ‘We need to move quickly. There’s a training session in here in fifteen minutes-’’

‘- how did you even get the jet?’ You asked, almost stumbling as he dragged you up the walkway of a semi-decent freighter. It was no Falcon, but it would do. ‘And what is he doing here?’

Threepio turned to look at you, as if to say I beg your fucking pardon? 

‘We need someone to get Winslow on record if she says anything dodgy.’ Finn murmured to you. ‘But he thinks this is an official mission, so don’t say anything.’

‘Right.’ You muttered back. ‘How you doing, Threepio?’

‘My joints are rusting-’

‘- we don’t have time for this.’ Finn cut him off. ‘We gotta get going. You okay doing comms?’

‘Yes, sir.’ 

You both scurried onto the jet, taking your respective seats; you in the pilot’s seat (naturally) and Finn to your left, ready to take the gunner’s seat if necessary - though you both hoped it wouldn’t be. It normally would have taken two pilots to fly a ship this big but you had enough experience to manage, even if your heart hurt a little at the fact it would have been perfect to have Poe right next to you. The guilt of leaving him out - not only of your little adventure, but the knowledge of it too - had been slowly eating at you since you’d left his room. How bad was it to lie so early on in the relationship? Fuck, was that even what this was? The feeling of dread in your stomach had grown now, lingering in your gut and leaving your hands shaking and heart pounding.

Dropping your hands into your lap with defeat, you fell back against the pilot’s seat with a hefty sigh. The Resistance meant a lot to you, but maybe Poe meant more. 

‘Finn, I don’t think I can do this.’ You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to fight back the tears that were forming in your eyes. 

‘Hey, it’s okay.’ He put a comforting hand on your shoulder. ‘I know going against Winslow is hard but-’

‘- it’s not Winslow.’ You spun your chair to face him. ‘It’s Poe. I can’t lie to him.’

‘We’re not lying.’ Finn replied. ‘I mean...yeah, we are but only to protect him throwing himself into something that we don’t know is for certain. Once Poe has an idea in his head, that’s it. We need to be patient with this and that’s one thing he can’t do.’ 

It was a little harsh, but Finn was right. Poe was a brilliant pilot and an excellent commander but he sometimes short-wired between thinking and acting. It was a whole lot of the second without much of the first. Sometimes, it worked out - high risk and high reward and all that - but this time, you couldn’t risk it. 

‘You’re right.’ You nodded. ‘Thank you - and sorry, I guess.’

‘Don’t be.’ Finn shook his head. ‘We should get this in the air before someone sees us.’

Knocking the engines to full blast, you pulled back on the yoke. There was a split second of nothing, before the jet suddenly shot forward, leering away from the docking station and out of the hangar entrance. It was shaky for a minute - after all, you hadn’t flown it before - but you managed to balance out the thrusters by the time the base was but a dot in the distance. Most of it was second nature to you, and you barely even had to think about it. You could have flown in your sleep. 

‘Right.’ You murmured to yourself, tapping in the coordinates that Finn had messily scrawled down. ‘Jumping to hyperspace in 3...2..1…’

You were both thrown backwards as the ship leapt forward, the passing stars in front of you vortexing into a blur of black and white as it spun into a maelstrom of time and space. It was pretty smooth, aside from Threepio complaining about how much he hated flying. You wouldn’t have expected anything else.

‘Kijimi isn’t too far.’ You said. ‘Forty minutes tops, maybe. I know the routes to avoid First Order fleets but I need you to be vigilant.’ 

‘Did the General not provide a list of First Order schedules?’ Threepio asked. ‘It’s a requirement for all missions. She wouldn’t have approved the mission without - oh no.’ 

‘You’re onto something, Threepio.’ You tried to fight back a smile. It wasn’t funny...but it kind of was. ‘But don’t worry. Nobody needs to know, okay?’

‘The General needs to know!’ He cried. ‘We’re doomed! Oh, we’re doomed!’

‘Finn.’ You groaned. ‘Can you shut him up?’

‘Shut me up?! I have a right to voice my opinion, especially on matters concerning illegal missions!’

‘I’m the captain of the ship, right? Technically?’ You glanced over your shoulder at him. ‘Is it not within your protocol to do as I say?’

‘Yes, but-’

‘- then it’s settled.’ You said. ‘Just man the comms system and everything will be fine.’

Threepio didn’t say anything after that, instead settling down into his seat, wired up to the comms system. Your main focus was on speed; on getting the jet to Kijimi as quick as possible and getting out as quick as possible. That was pretty much your main purpose, since Finn had sorted out the rest. Obviously, you were going to help him, but your main heist title was getaway driver. He was the brains, and by default, that must have left Threepio as the brawns. Maker.  

‘Oh, we have incoming communication!’ The droid spoke up after a few minutes. 

‘From who?’ You frowned. 

‘Commander Dameron. I’ll pass you over.’

‘Threepi - oh, shit.’ 

You froze, immediately losing your words when Poe’s voice came over your headset. Maybe informing the droid of Poe’s ignorance to the entire fucking situation would have been a good idea, in hindsight. Heck, seeing who was manning the air traffic control back at base would have been even brighter. The one person you didn’t want to see you leave was the one person whose job was to do that literal thing. Weren’t you and Finn supposed to be good strategists? 

‘What do I do?’ You mouthed to Finn with wide eyes. ‘What do I say?’

His eyes were like dinner plates too. ‘I don’t know!’

‘This is Commander Dameron. I need your I.D number and purpose for leaving the base, because I don’t have you on file as authorised.’ 

‘Shit.’ You hissed. Clamping a hand over the mouthpiece, you looked over at your comrade again, as if he’d come up with a magical plan in the three seconds since you’d last asked. ‘A little help?’

‘Lie!’

‘Right, thanks.’ You hissed. 

What choice did you have now? Poe would recognise your voice. You had no option other than to come clean. You took a deep breath, before removing your hand from the mic. 

‘My I.D number is 102156 and...we don’t have authorisation.’ 

‘Babe?’ Poe’s immediate confusion was like a tiny little knife in your chest, which went perfectly with all the ones that were already there. ‘Who’s we?’ 

‘Heeeeey, honey.’ You couldn’t help but cringe at your own words. ‘We is me, Finn and Threepio.’

‘What’s going on? I thought you were in a meeting-’

‘- I lied.’ You didn’t bother trying to come up with an excuse. ‘It’s a long story. I can’t explain it right now.’

‘You lied?’ The words rolled off his tongue with a tone of disbelief. ‘The hell is going on?’

Finn was sitting beside you, teeth clamped onto his fist as he cringed at the conversation. Easy for him. He wasn’t the one who’d just been thrown head first into piercing cold water by a clueless droid. You were the one who had to explain the deceit to a kicked puppy. 

‘Like I said, I can’t explain it right now.’ You let out a heavy sigh. 

‘You’ve stolen a jet without authorization and left base for the outer rim without asking. Do you know how serious that is?’ Poe’s tone was harsh. 

You couldn’t help but scoff at that. ‘Poe Dameron, do not lecture me on breaking the rules.’

‘Fine - let’s look at it from this angle: you and my best friend both lied to me so that you could sneak out without telling me.’ 

Yeah, he had you there. 

‘You’re making that sound like something way worse than it is.’ You shot back. ‘I will tell you everything as soon as we land, okay? Can you trust me on that?’

‘I don’t think I can.’

‘Look, Finn...knows something. He overheard something. We’re just going to check it out to find out if the thing we think we know is really the thing we think we know.’ You explained, grip on the yoke tightening. ‘We didn’t want to tell you in case it turned out to be nothing.’

‘You...you didn’t want to tell me?’ He sounded completely deflated. 

‘Shit.’ You murmured. ‘Can you just trust me on this, please?’

‘The same way that you trusted me?’ 

‘It’s not that.’ You snapped. ‘It’s just...we didn’t want you to go running head first into an uncertain situation where you could get hurt.’

‘It’s funny, because you just described exactly what’s happened between you and me.’

With that, his line cut to silence. 

--

So, in some ways the mission was a success. 

To keep a long story short: Winslow was a rat. A huge, fucking rat. She’d been selling secrets to Finn’s former commander (who had some pretty cool armour) for months. With the right amount of bullying coaxing, Threepio had caved and recorded a conversation between them - you’d had to hide behind some crates to get within proximity to pick it up, but the audio was good enough to prove her guilt. That was the main thing. You’d done what you’d gone to do.

But at what cost?

Thanks to a shootout with some stormtroopers, Threepio was now missing his left arm and you’d lost your blaster in the escape. Finn had managed to sustain a blaster graze on his right shoulder, and you were probably in need of stitches on your forehead. All in a day’s work, really. 

‘I’m gonna take Threepio down to mechanics then head down to medical.’ Finn gently said; he stuck out his hand to help you leap off the ship, shutting the door behind you. ‘D’you wanna come?’

‘Uh, no thanks.’ You shook your head. ‘I have work to do in here. The Y-Wings are still out, and Winslow will be on my ass once she’s also back.’

‘So...same time tomorrow to talk about what the fuck we’re gonna do about this whole thing?’

‘Sure thing.’ You said. ‘I’m gonna give Poe some space for tonight, but do me a favour...don’t tell him about what we found out. It’s better if it comes from me.’

‘Of course.’ He nodded with a smile. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

‘See ya, Finn.’

Him and Threepio headed for the door, leaving you alone with nothing but your thoughts and a few broken jets. The wound on your forehead had stopped bleeding enough, so you could leave it for a few hours. It wasn’t exactly wise, but it felt a little too late in the day for that. You’d been looking at wise in the rear view mirror a long, long time ago. 

Sighing to yourself, you shrugged off your orange flight suit, tossing it in the cupboard and exchanging it for your tool box. It was coming up to midnight, so you’d been gone the entire day. Tired was simply the tip of the iceberg, and yet the idea of sleeping alluded you completely. You were used to working like this, and it would at least keep your mind off of Poe for a few hours. 

He just needed time, right? That’s what you kept telling yourself, even though there was a feeling of dread in your gut that told you otherwise, that you’d fucked it up completely. You weren’t sure you could even handle that idea. Poe had become so important to you in such a short period of time that your brain - and your heart - couldn’t quite handle it. It was rare that you found somebody so special. 

Tossing a rag over your shoulder, you pulled open the fuse box, barely masking a sigh at how fried they were. Maybe it was karmic punishment for what you’d done. Yeah, that was definitely it. You’d lied, and now the universe was coming back to bite you in the ass. On the bright side, Winslow’s days at the Resistance were limited now, which meant the same applied to the restrictions she’d placed on you. That was a nice thought; working with Finn, working with Rey, working with Poe.

Y’know, if he ever spoke to you again. 

‘Caff?’

You glanced up from the fuse box, turning around to see the pilot, two cups of coffee in hand. Speak of the Dameron and thou shall appear. 

‘Hey.’ You quietly greeted him. 

‘How long have you been back?’ He asked, taking a seat on an upturned crate. 

‘Couple hours, maybe.’ You took the cup from his hand. ‘I wanted to give you a couple hours to...stew.’ 

‘There’s nothing to stew about. You lied to me.’

‘I didn’t want to.’ You stressed, taking a seat beside him. ‘Can I at least try to explain?’

‘I...I don’t know if I want to hear it.’ His brown eyes moved up from the floor, holding you in a strangling gaze. ‘You broke my trust. You went behind my back with my best friend-’

‘- maker, Poe!’ You cut him off. ‘You’re making it sound like I slept with him!’ 

He grimaced, before dusting off his legs and standing up. ‘It’s the fact you lied to me with such fucking ease. About the meeting, about being busy-’

‘- if you would let me explain-’

‘- there’s nothing to explain.’ He snapped. ‘Lies are lies.’

‘Don’t act so high and mighty!’ You shot back. ‘It’s not like you’ve never lied before!’

‘Not to people I love!’

‘I - you fucking what?’

You both froze. 

Had Poe just confessed his love for you? It sure sounded like it, but...it wasn’t a big deal, right? You were fine. He was fine. This was fine. Well, not really, because neither of you were sure if you were exchanging heartfelt feelings right now or y’know, breaking up, but...he loved you. Poe Dameron loved you. 

On second thoughts, maybe you weren’t fine.

‘Winslow is dirty.’ You suddenly blurted. ‘That’s why Finn and I followed her. We wanted to be sure it was certain before we told anyone and now we have solid evidence on her.’

‘Winslow is dirty?’

‘Yeah. Selling secrets to the First Order.’ You nodded breathlessly. ‘Also, I love you too.’

‘You do?’

‘I do.’

‘Cool.’

‘Cool.’  

Before you could say anything else, Poe grabbed you by the arm and yanked you towards him, knocking your caff to the ground. With an arm around your waist and the other on the back of your neck, he crashed his lips onto yours in a breathless kiss. You tangled a hand in his hair, smiling at the feel of the soft curls and the taste of peppermint and coffee. It was a little hard not to be obsessed with him. 

‘I’m sorry I lied.’ You murmured, resting your forehead against his. 

‘Just..promise me you’ll drag me along on all illegal expeditions in future?’ He whispered, breath tickling your lips. 

‘Absolutely.’ You smiled. ‘I promise.’

He didn’t normally let go of things like that so easily - being lied to, in his book, was one of the worst things a person could do. But, now he knew the context, he was a little more inclined to understand your reasoning. And your declaration of love probably had something to do with it too, because with it had come the realisation that nothing else in the world mattered. There wasn’t a single thing more important than you. 

‘Finn and I are meeting here in the morning to talk about what we’re gonna do.’ You said. ‘You’ll come, right?’

‘I think I need to be mad at Finn a little longer-’

‘- Poe.’ You groaned. ‘We’re good, right?’

‘We are.’

‘So you two should be as well!’

‘You just declared your love for me, followed by one of the greatest kisses of my life.’ He reminded you. ‘How could we not be good?’

‘I’ll get Finn to do the same!’ You grinned. 

‘He did it long before you did.’ Poe teased. ‘But fine. I understand where you’re coming from, and I guess he’s in the same place.’

‘Exactly.’ You beamed. 

‘I just have one condition.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Say it again.’

You bit your lip, before smiling wider. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’

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[angstandhappiness]

GE HEH HEH, SIBLINGS

More Skywalker Sibling time! Now with a sequel

Part 3