#three hours for this crap please murder me

[yelenasdiary]

When The Time Comes

Pairing: Military! Yelena Belova x Fem! Nurse! Reader

Summary: After a traumatic experience, Yelena worries about your well-being. 

Warnings: Dark Themes, Mentions of War, Kidnapping, Details of Torture, PTSD, Depression, Details of Murder, Gore, Mentions of Blood, Scaring, Medical Talk | 3.3K

Translations:lyubov' (love), detka (baby), 

AC:Some of you may have already seen a dot point of this fic so here’s the full fic!

October Special Masterlist

4:03am your wife was woken by a long-awaited phone call, quickly turning over and picking up the phone, "Belova" she answers without a hint of lack of sleep in her voice. The voice on the other end of the line wastes no time in informing the highly skilled sniper that after two long, stressful, and worrying months, her wife has been found. 

"Is she okay? Can I talk to her? I'll get the first flight over!" Yelena's mind is racing. She knows the stress and worry isn't over, but her commanding officer assures her that you were treated with the best of care and should be landing in the states within a few short hours. Little information was shared with the blonde who didn't take notice of the time when she called Natasha. 

"Lena, it's 4am, is everything okay?" Natasha's low, raspy, and tired voice travels through the phone. Yelena once again not caring to take notice of the time, "They found her!" She replies while she gets out of bed and slides on her slippers. She can tell by the shift in Natasha's voice that the red head has shot up from her laying position, "are you sure?!" 

"Positive, they said she'll be landing in New York in a few hours. Can you watch Natalia for me? Please?" Yelena asks as she walks down the hall to your daughter's bedroom, peaking her head through the crack of the door to check on the three-year-old who was asleep peacefully snuggling her favorite plushie. 

"Of course, I'll be over soon" Natasha replies before hanging up the line. 

Hours passed as Yelena waited patiently alone in the hospital's waiting room, 9:28am and they were still checking you out and not a single word on your wellbeing was mentioned to your wife. Small cups of coffee filled the bin as Yelena's mind ran over scenario after scenario, her right knee bouncing uncontrollably as other patients' family members came and went. Some leaving in tears of grief while others left with sighs of relief. 

Lost in her thoughts, Yelena didn't even notice Natasha taking a seat beside her and placing her hand on her sister's knee. It wasn't until Natasha's thumb stroked Yelena's knee that the blonde's eyes turned to meet her sister. 

"Wands has Natalia" Natasha spoke softly reading the look on her sister's face. Yelena nodded as she leant back in her chair, "any news?" Nat asked. 

"Nothing" Yelena replied while she tried to fight back her tears, wanting to stay as strong as she possibly could for you. 

"Mrs Belova?" a doctor asked as they entered the waiting room, Yelena's eyes shot up to meet the eyes of a tired woman as she took off her surgical cap. 

"That's me" Yelena replied, standing from her chair before she could even blink. Natasha was standing beside her, both looking at the doctor for answers. Her eyes scanned the waiting room, "come with me please, somewhere more private" she replied. Her words made Yelena's stomach drop, her mind now filling with her biggest fear as she and Natasha followed the woman in scrubs with a white coat down the hall, taking a left and into a room with soldiers standing guard outside. 

"Please just cut the crap, is she okay?" Yelena's eyes looked deeply into the doctor's in hopes of finding answers. The woman took a deep breath, her own eyes looking at Natasha before back at Yelena, "she's my sister, please!" Yelena added. 

"Mrs Belova, your wife okay. We would like to keep her in for a week before sending home, she's malnourished and some of her injuries we are going to keep an eye on in case of an infection. She's extremely weak at the moment but physically, she will make a full recovery. I have requested that our psychiatrist comes down to speak to you, they will be able to inform you of your wife's mental health" the doctor who forgot to introduce herself explained, her name tag reading "Dr Katherine Campbell".

"I'd rather see my wife first, please" Yelena pleaded just wanting to see you for herself. 

"I'm sorry but I think it's best you wait" Dr Campbell's eyes shifted to Natasha in hopes she'd help make the stressed blonde understand. Natasha looked at Yelena, placing a hand on her forearm, "let's just wait for the psychiatrist, you'll want to know everything there is" Nat agrees with the doctor just as another woman knocks and enters the room. 

"Here she is" Doctor Campbell smiled softly at the other woman. 

"Hi, Mrs Belova, is it?" the woman smiled, reaching her hand out to shake Yelena's, "I'm Dr Jenna Hemmings, please take a seat" she added before also shaking Natasha's hand. The four women took a seat at the large, rounded table, Yelena's knee bouncing once again as she watched the psychiatrist open up a file of documents that had your name on them. 

"I'm very sorry for what you've been through over the last three months, I don't have a lot to discuss in terms of where your wife is at mentally, but, I have seen her and I from what I have seem I can give you a rough idea on what to expect" Dr Hemmings began as she looked between the two sisters. 

"It's my understanding that your wife has suffered from serious and extreme torture during her captivity. I have seen many cases unfortunately and I just want to let you know that it's not going to be easy. Y/n may become distant and feel disconnected from what she knows. Who she was before the kidnapping may take some time to return, I'm going to give you a list of other psychiatrists for you to make an appointment with then Y/n feels ready to talk about the events. It's important that you do not push her to talk, if she wants too, listen. 

Do you share any children together?" She goes on. Yelena nodded, "A three year old, Natalia" 

"As hard as this will be on your daughter, it'll be best if she has somewhere else to stay with the first week that Y/n is home"

"You want me to keep my daughter from seeing her mother?" Yelena frowned in confusion. 

"This is just until you and Y/n's psychiatrist have a better understanding of her PTSD" Dr Hemmings replied. Natasha assured Yelena that the little girl could stay with her, Wanda and the boys for as long as needed. "Can I just see my wife now? Please? whatever else you need to discuss, I'm sure we can do later" Yelena begs once more. 

Dr Hemmings nodded lightly, "I'll let Dr Campbell explain your wife's injuries" 

-A Week Later-

Since being home, Yelena has cared for you day in, day out. She tended to the wounds that covered your back, changing the bandages and cleaning them. She did the same for the grazes and cuts on your face, arms, legs and thighs. She showered you, clothed you and fed you, all while you could barely bring yourself to say a single word. 

The bedroom was kept dark, anytime Yelena opened the blinds to let some sunlight in, you got up and closed them before getting back in to bed to sleep the day away. A psychiatrist had stopped by twice since you came home, but even she couldn't get you to speak. She suggested to Yelena that it would be in your best interest to start antidepressants which you took without a fight. 

"Good morning lyubov'" Yelena spoke softly as she got on her knees in your view, your eyes glued to the dark gray wall behind her. Looking into your eyes, Yelena only saw the ghost of the woman she loved. She gently stroked your face with her left thumb, "Natalia is coming home this morning, do you feel up to seeing her?" she asked. Your eyes shifted and connected with the worried eyes of your wife's, the first time you really looked at her since the hospital. You shook her head before turning to your other side, giving Yelena the view of your clothed back. 

"Okay lyubov', we'll try again tomorrow. I'll go get you some breakfast" Yelena said in defeat. She hoped that the idea of seeing your daughter would bring something new out of you, that you'd get out of bed and come downstairs for the first time. 

Yelena returned 20 minutes later with toast, orange juice, your medication and some vitamins placing them on your bedside table. She kissed your cheek and whispered how much she loved you before letting you fall back asleep in the darkness. 

"I miss mommy" Natalia pouted as she picked up another slice of apple from her plastic plate. "I know dorogoy, mommy isn't feeling well at the moment but she's getting better, she's getting plenty of sleep so she can play with you again" Yelena assures the little girl before placing a kiss on her forehead, "how about mac n cheese for dinner?" She asks. Natalia perks up instantly, nodding with excitement, "Mac n cheese!!!!" She claps with a mouth full of apple. 

Night time came, Natalia was bathed, fed and tucked in bed fast asleep after Yelena read her a bedtime story. She can't stop her mind from remembering when you and her would read a fairytale together for the growing child, switching voices, giggles full of life filling the room before the angel drifts off to sleep. Not only did Yelena miss you, but so did Natalia. A drawing of the three of you in crayons sat on the toddlers drawing table, mommy in bed just like her mama said. 

When Yelena came to bed, it was the only time you felt safe again. You instantly felt her arms wrap around you, pulling you close as she knew you'd been waiting all day for her to come back to bed. "How are you feeling detka?" She asks in a soft tone, you wanted to answer her, to give her a form of words but nothing left your lips. Tears filled your eyes as you brought her hand to your lips, kissing the top of her hand to let her know you were here, you heard her, you loved her.

-1 Month Later-

As time went on, Yelena was doing her best to give you everything you needed but her growing thoughts were becoming darker by the day. She wasn't going to push you to talk about what happened, but she couldn't help but picture just how you got the wounds on your back. She was positive they would turn into scars and she worried for when the time would come and you'd notice them never fading away. She wanted to know if you were tortured into not speaking of the events that happened, she hasn't heard your voice since you woke up in the hospital. "Just tired" were the last words she heard you speak.

The meditation didn't seem like it was working in Yelena's eyes, you still didn't have the energy to get out of bed, to talk, to eat or even shower. Natalia hounded her mama daily for when she could see her mommy and on the one chance you nodded at Yelena's request for the young girl to see you, it broke her. Natalia of course, didn't entirely understand what was wrong with you and she didn't take your actions to heart, but deep down, Yelena did. Natalia had tried to show you a drawing she did at day care, you took one look at the colorful drawing before you looked back at Yelena who was standing behind your daughter, you shook your head at her than turned to lay with your back facing them. 

It wasn't until one night when Yelena had gotten into bed with you rather early, she mentioned Natalia was staying at Natasha and Wanda's for the night. She held you in silence for hours until you turned and looked at her. Tears pooled at your eyes before slowly making their way down your cheeks, your wife wiping them away gently with the touch of her thumb as she placed a loving kiss on your forehead before looking into your broken eyes once more. 

"What do you need detka? How can I help you get through this?" Yelena asked and for the first time since everything, you weren't looking through her. You could see how tired she was, the stress and worry of everything creeping in on her. Slowly you sat up and took a deep breath, Yelena sat up with you keeping a close eye on your body language. 

"Can I make us a hot coco?" you asked. Yelena couldn't help but smile softly as she nodded. Happy she finally heard your voice since you were at the hospital, no longer having to repeat the last words you spoke to her, "just tired" running through her head. 

You returned to the bedroom with two mugs of hot coco and a large yellow envelope, placing it on the end of the bed before handing Yelena her drink. "If I tell you everything, c-can you write it down for the report, please?" you asked, sipping your drink and placing it on your bedside table. Yelena nodded without a second thought, "of course detka, are you sure you're up for this?" she asked, just to be sure. 

"Are you sure you want to hear it?" you asked her in reply, worried that the details you had to share for the report would upset her. "If I am the only person you feel safe enough to tell, I am here to listen detka. I've got your back like you've got mine" she reminded you as she placed her mug on her bedside table and grabbed the envelope and pen. You took another deep breath and closed your eyes for a moment, remembering the moment you were taken captive. 

"I just finished my shift, Lisa, Jasmine and I were walking back to our rooms when 3 masked men ambushed us, one grabbed Lisa and dragged her towards the bush, he had large knife to her neck. Another put a bag over Jasmine's head, they told us to keep quiet or they'd kill us. I screamed for help, but one guy hit me over the head with his gun and I blacked out. When I woke up, I had a shackle on my left ankle, my hands tied behind my back and a bag over my head. 

I could hear the girls screaming and crying for help, the place smelt unbearable…like death. I tried to keep the girls calm, I told them we'd be safe soon, to keep quiet or they'd hurt us but we were all so scared. 

They kept us like that for hours, days maybe. I wasn't sure, it was too dark with the bag over my head. When they came back, one guy removed the bag, he was wearing a mask and had his gun pointed directly at me. There was a small cup of water and a bread roll on the floor, he told me to eat, or he'd shoot me. I was so hungry, that when he cut me free, I don't think I even swallowed much of the roll, the water was dirty but I didn't care. I asked him about the girls, but he just kneed me in the face to shut me up. 

It was like that for days until the ringleader came, he had an interpreter with him, he didn't speak one word of English. He said that if our country cared enough about us, they'd stop the war and go home and leave us behind to become slaves." You spoke slowly so Yelena could write but halfway through, she decided that typing it up would be a lot faster. 

"Things got worse, every time we did something wrong, we got less food and water, a beating and placed in this room that felt like it was on fire. It was so hot in there, sometimes they threw me in there just because I didn't eat fast enough. Lisa tried to escape but they caught her, they dragged me into this room with her and ha-" you paused as tears streamed down your face. 

"Detka, we can take a break, it's okay" Yelena's hands reached for yours but you shook your head, "I don't want never want to speak about this ever again, I have to do this now" you replied, wiping your tears before taking a mouthful of your hot coco. 

"He handed me a gun and told me to shoot her but I couldn't. I tried to plead with him, saying she won't do it again but that just gave me a beating. He beat me with a rusty pipe wrapped with barbed wire, that's that the marks on my back are from. I've never felt so much pain…I was crying so much that eventually he grabbed me by my hair and made me watch" you paused once more, your body shaking with fear as you recalled the details of what happened to your friend. Your wife was quick to put the laptop aside and instantly wrapped you in her arms, pulling you close into her as you broke down.

Through your sobs, you continued to explain the events you endured. "T…T-they beheaded her like it was nothing! There was blood very where, I was c-crying! Screaming! They tossed her h-he…to me and told me if I didn't shut u-up that w-would be me" You gripped onto your wife for life, she held you tightly as she cried with you. Kissing the top of your head for comfort. 

----

3:38am, you were passed out asleep, tired from the crying and recalling. Yelena watched over you, her arms wrapped around you. She knew it was going to be a long road of recovery ahead, but she had every faith in you. 

By morning, you woke up to an empty bed, but you felt differently. You sat up, stretched and slipped into your robe before making your way downstairs to see Yelena making waffles with your daughter. You smiled softly to yourself before making yourself known to your girls. 

"Mommy!!!" Natalia came running into your arms. You hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek, "you feel better?" she asked. You nodded, "a little bit my love" you replied before putting her down on her feet. Yelena turned around and smiled lovingly at you, "Natalia, can you please get your sippy cup?" she asked the little girl to distract her for a moment so she could talk to you. 

"I sent your report this morning" Yelena informed you with a kiss on your cheek. "Thank you, darling" you wrapped your arms around her, "what's on your mind?" you asked her, seeing she'd been thinking. 

"He's still out there" she replied, her jaw clenching at the thought of the man who tortured you for months walking free in his own country. You knew instantly from her tone what she was thinking, and you knew there would be no way to stop her, in fact, you didn't even want to stop her.

"I know and if the time comes, I don't want you to think twice" You cupped her face, "let him suffer…he's already taken enough from me, take everything from him" you added looking into her eyes. "Here mama!" Natalia's voice broke the silent agreement between you two. 

It would be a year until Yelena returned to war, she wanted to stay with you until you knew well enough to look after yourself once more. Now with a four year old and your wife off finding the man who covered you in scars, physically and mentally, you made the decision to never return to the warzone but would continue your work at the veterans clinic.

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[writing-and-rebloging]

Macbeth, Jellal and parallels.

Quick preface, I'm taking the Anime add ons in the Oracion Seis arc and the Starry Sky filler as canon, because they give a lot more substance and treat the Seis nicely enough (and much better than the manga), respectively.

Acknowledgement

In a way. It's what all of this hinges upon. In a turn of events, Macbeth recognizes the darkness and cruelty simmering in Jellal's head, compares them to his own, and says that due to that, Jellal would fit perfectly in Oracion Seis. Morally corrupt, cruel and powerful... Jellal is just like them, isn't he? In the anime, the vibes of condescendingly saying "can't you see you're just like me? No matter how much you deny it. No matter how much you say you're disgusted by my actions, you're just as bad." are simply immaculate.

Past

While they share this with other characters, they were both enslaved children in the tower of Heaven. A past neither of them like to talk about. They were weak, helpless, and it fucked them up (Jellal was tortured to insanity, Macbeth has night terrors and several dealer's choice sleep issues thanks to the tower) majorly. Jellal barely talks about the tower in general unless it's to make a point of his atonement, and Macbeth only mentions it three time, two while throwing what he did to Jellal's face and one while lashing out at Erza for not going back to save anyone from her boyfriend's cruelty.

The fact that they couldn't do anything to defend themselves while other people kicked them around eats at them, and while we know they were kids, it's not something they consider in the equation at all. They're ashamed of it, unlike Erza or Milliana, and it leads to the second and third points.

Manipulation.

After being tortured for hours, "Zeref" (who was just Ultear. Who interestingly enough also gets tortured within an inch of her life by Brain, but that's for another post) reaches out to Jellal and gives him the power to take over the Tower of Heaven, while weeks or months later Brain "adopts" Macbeth and the other four members of Oracion Seis, and teaches them how to use a wide variety of magic.

They both end up on positions of power. Jellal as the ruler of the Tower of Heaven. Macbeth as the favorite son, with all that implies. And while they gain something (safety, for starters) out of it, they're also at someone else's mercy. Jellal is being manipulated by "Zeref" into completing the Tower to bring him back, while Macbeth is in turn groomed by Brain into being the perfect soldier to maintain the magic link keeping Zero at bay, and carry out his plans so that he can hide away.

Drunk on power.

They embody this more than any of the other Tower kids that became villains. They're given power, both raw in the form of incredible magical abilities and over other people (albeit in different ways). And they get drunk on it.

Jellal runs the tower like a tyrant, ordering and bullying people around. He threatens his friends, murders one of them, and even almost sacrifices Erza, who he held dear above anyone else.

Macbeth on the other hand, we can assume is encouraged to hurt people as much as he pleases, as long as he gets the job done. We see that when he tortures Eve, and when he says he wants to see Erza and Jellal in pain. 

Both of them use that power to inflict pain, and that pain to soothe the wound of having been taken advantage of when they were vulnerable. It makes them feel safe, being above other people.

Magic

While this is anime only, as we never see him use it again, Macbeth ends up using the same dark magic as Brain, and, if we look at some spells that Jellal uses back in the tower... The resemblance is enough to assume it's the same kind of magic. And while not immensely relevant, it sure is fun that they would use the same magic, all things considered.

Extending a hand to each other in the worst way possible (while mocking Jellal's worst insecurity vs after beating the crap out of Macbeth) should also be listed, tbh. But this is long enough.

These similarities, however, would make them want to throw up if pointed out rather than bring them closer.

Anyways. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 91

A long episode with an ominous title ... yeah, this can't bode well at all ...

Sam's a cat again. Great ... oh, Taliesin's a mouse? Of course he is. This is more like it ... Travis is loving this already ... ah, short but sweet, definitely ... oh yeah, I totally agree with Ashley, massive Donnie Darko vibes ... XD

Liam: "I want Sam and Tal to reenact that scene from The Shining." Um ... okay? O.O

So, picking up right where we left off, then ... chaos, and LOTS of craziness, with VERY heavy implications ...

Oh, so Liliana is HUNTING, now? For them in particular? Or just ... ANYTHING? Hmmm ...

Yes, SHUSH, Pate! You're REALLY loud right now ...

Chetney-wolf: "Hold onto my tail! Tighter!" Stop it, Travis ... XD

This is going to be a complicated getaway, clearly ...

PANIC!!! Great ... how long is it gonna be before they get spotted? CAN THEY get away from this?

Mystics? Crap ... "a Murder of Mystics" ... yeah ...

A little on-the-run healing and repair work ...

Balls, good point ... yeah, they have NO IDEA where they are or where they're going ... and now Ashley's cocking dice all over the place ... O.O

Oh, this can't be good ...mystical shenanigans ... FUCK!!! Invisibility is now GONE!!! Shit! Oh this is SO FUCKING BAD ...

PLEASE don't tell me they just lost their Telepathic Bond too ... oh for the love of the GODS, Matthew, you cruel bastard ... NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOO!!!

Hide! Just fucking HIDE, people!

Wow ... Taliesin rolled amazing, but Sam and Ashley rolled BALLS on Stealth ... that's so bad ... oh shit, and now they've got GLoamglut RIGHT ABOVE THEM!!! Ouch ... does it see them? Oh no, Fearne, PLEASE do not try to PET the fucking thing!

Marisha: "There are no dumb ideas in D&D!" Are you SERIOUS? OF COURSE there are!

AAAAAAAAAND now they're blown ... good one, Fearne! Now they're coming down ...

Ashton, WHAT THE FUCK are you doing? Oh, that's right, HE IS still in his powered state ... 32 points of damage on the wall? Holy fuck ... oh yeah, that's just a FANTASTIC distraction/escape ... nice! Just run. RUN!!!

Another wall? Oh yeah ... BOOM!!! Ashton's just a demolition MACHINE right now ...

NOW he's knocking down a building they're not even going into ... bit overly much for cover, isn't it? Jeeze, Ashton ... STOP ENCOURAGING THIS, Matthew!

Oh yeah, they're TOTALLY broadcasting their location now ...

Seriously, just HIDE while you got cover, seriously ...

Crap, Dex saves for the three of them? O.O ... oh hell, what's that fucking Fay dragon gonna do? Darkfire? Oh hell ... whoa, 16 points is HALF damage? Ow ...

Oh, NOW Imogen's casting Invisibility? Yes, do that ...

Evoroa gives directions ... yes, good move ... do that now!

Quart mile away? No, HALF of that? Hmmm ...

Back to the panicked chase ... RUN RUN RUN!!!

Can they fit through that? Ashton's going under, apparently ... just SQUEEZE guys ... yeah, shquish in those fantastic tits and that luscious butt, Fearne! Crap, it's coming again! I hate that fucking dragon!

Oh wow, the Sorrowlord speaks! He knows she's here! Crap!

Pass Without a Trace! Finally!

Fearne: "Do we need to cut off your wheels?" FCG: "127 hours!" Cue sawblade startup whir ...

Wow, Zathuda is actually MONOLOGUING ... Fearne: "Can you say all that again?" LOL ...

Fungus? Great ... Annihilation? Cool ...

"Pussy in Bio"? Nice flask nonsense this time, Samuel ...

PEG IT!!! Once it's clear, anyway ...

Polymorph, yes ... a "moon thing"? Hmmmm ... so she turns FCG into a Slither ... okay ... and then she Wildshapes into one too ... okay, get tunneling guys!

Ah, yes ... where ARE THEY going?

A Survival roll? Oh boy ... 28? Nice one, Ashley! Heading back towards their exit, then ...

And so back to the others ...

A Wisdom save IMMEDIATELY? Fuck, Matthew ... 15? Hmm ... wait, THAT'S not good enough? Shit! O.O

Laudna: "You're not like a sleeper agent, are you?" No, really, please don't even put that karma OUT THERE!

The Sprawl Grotto? Cool ...

Yeah, they don't know WHERE they're going right now ...

Bronze fountain! OKay ... oh hell, what's THIS shit?

And now they're very effectively TRAPPED. Great ... is this them SPECIFICALLY, or just general? Oh, it's DEFINITELY for them ... not good ...

SHIT!!! LIliana is now RIGHT ABOVE THEM ... "Did ... you ... KNOW?!!!"

Is Imogen REALLY gonna try and bluff this? Wow ...

Oh, so she has been THROUGH IT ...

The locket? Oooooh ... O.O

Can she talk her down? Get through to her somehow? COME ON ... Persuasion roll? Oh boy ... 16? Whoa ... um ... is that enough?

Wait ... DID THAT just work?

Yeah, just RUN ...

Oh, for fuck's sake ... NOW what? Damn it, more mystics? Crap ... oh yeah, they're proper BUSTED ... crap, this is the ACTUAL Weave Mind?

Oh, so this MIGHT be an illusion? Hmmm ...

Hold on, are they doing something to Chet? Crazy werewolf shit? Crap ... and Travis totally fails that save ... O.O ... bollocks, this is so bad ... Sam: "Quick! Distract them with a toy!"

Liam: "If we keep making these jokes for 30 minutes we won't have to deal with this problem!" LOL

Orym is choosing NOW to invoke Nana Morri ... oh boy ...

What just happened?

Nothing immediately around, but they're in the area ... just GO. Right now, just FUCKING GO. RIGHT NOW.

Back to the Burrowers ...

It's oh so quiet ... that CANNOT be good ... yeah, just BOOK IT ... nuts, more mystics ...

Oh, they FOUND THEM? Okay ... yeah, just FOLLOW THEM!!! Quick!

Going up? Yes, seems the smart way to go.

Yeah, they DO NOT speak Slither ... aaaaand they're finally back together ... in the most ridiculous way possible ... XD

Yeah, sending a merssage to the Volition would probably be the smart move right now ... maybe they could send somebody to find you ...

So, where to go now?

Imogen Sends to Rashinna ... so the safehouse is out ... hmmm ... so they're just going to have to find alternative digs ...

OOh ... yeah, do that! A giant mole sounds so cool ... like that one in City of Ember! O.O That'd be sweet ...

FCG's still a Slither? Oh boy ...

Crap! What's this? Oh no, what the fuck ... PLEASE don't be fucking Otohan! No ... NO!!! Fuck ... that bitch is SO FUCKING CLOSE now ... hell ... JUST RUN, guys!

Ashton pops up out the ground and SMACKS THE ROOF OF THE TUNNEL with his hammer once they're through ... smart and sweet ... oh fuck ... you mean he COULD collapse the whole thing? Thankfully not ... phew!

Bollocks, Otohan is COMING!!! Fuck ...

RUN!!! JUST FUCKING RUN!!!

Crap ... SHE'S FOUND THEM!!! They're in deep shit ... AND NOW he chooses to call a break? Seriously? Matthew!

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ... and now he's producing a Battlemap ... AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! Cut Wizzkids plug! Also FUCK!!!

Fuck me ... is the rest of this episode JUST gonna be combat? Gods no ... I'm not ready for this ...

ROLL INITIATIVE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

So ... Orym's up first ... he slips between her leags and turns round to attack her fancy backpack ... OKAY!!! A Crit! Go, wee man! 38 points of damage! Yeah! Another hit! Yeah! ANOTHER Crit! Sweet! 25 points ... anmd she's Hexed too ... nice ...

Legendry Action? Crap ... Telekinetic Control? Fuck ... and even with Indomitable Orym can't resist it ... she flings him like a ragdoll! Ouch!

Laudna unleashes her Hellhoud because she is FURIOUS right now! Yeah ... FCG names the pooch Caviar? Cute ... now she Banes Otohan ... goody!

Otohan dashes off ... giving the Hellhound an attack of opportunity ... which fails ... crap! She attacks Chetney ... oof ... 27 points of slashing damage! Ow! Plus the Psionic knocks him prone ... another 16 points with additional Force? Argh ... and another 13 plus 9 more ... AND another hit? 13 plus 10! Fuck ... he is BARELY alive now ... O.O

fuck, and she has ANOTHER attack with an offhand weapon? Fuck ... ACTION SURGE?!!! Matthew NO!!! PLEASE don't do this! Silvery Barbs from Laudna ... which fails? Shit! Fuck ... and now he's OUT!!! She keeps hitting him, 2 IMMEDIATE Death Saves ... argh ...

Fuyck ... she just straight MURDERED him ... LAST WORDS? What the fuck?

Sweet fuck ... CHETNEY'S FUCKING DEAD?!!! Are you serious, Matt?

Now she's going after Fearne? FUCK!!! No ... and now SHE'S on the ground too ... fuck!

Ashton pops up out of the ground RIGHT IN FRONT of Fearne to block the coming attack ... he swings at her with the hammer ... "Gosh, you got a punchable fucking face!" 23 points of damage and he knocks her back HARD ... Density Well? OKay ... he batters a nearby platform and knockd it RIGHT ONTO HER ... YES!!! She sort of dodges so it's just a glancing hit ... he's monochrome now ...

Otohan rushes Imogen ...

Fearne is FURIOUS about Chetney as she flames on like the Human Torch! Nice! Oh, nice fiery Fearne mini, Matt! O.O She comes in right behind the bitch ...

Oh, so Otohan's like doing MONK SHIT? Fuck ...

FCG goes to Chetney's corpse and casts Revivify at 7th Level ... please ... please please PLEASE let this work ... come on, Changebringer! Come thorugh in clutch ... please ... YES!!! THE WOLFMAN IS ALIVE AGAIN!!! Thank fuck ...

Caviar! Attack! Kill this bitch, you wonderful Hellhoud! 19 MISSES? Seriously? Fuck ...

Otohan attacks Imogen ... 14 points of Force damage ... she gets knocked BACK but not down, at least ...

Imogen Telkinetically grabs the backpack and tries to tear it right off her ... oh wow ... and it WORKS!!! Oh yes! Let's go! She pounds it into the ceiling and smashes it to fuck! BEAUTIFUL!!! She grabs her hand and casdts Shocking Grasp ... go go go ... 14 points of damage! Yes!

Orym Misty Steps to her and pulls a Bat & Switch with Imogen, then takes a swing ... NAT20!!! YEAH!!! 23 points of slashing damage! Then 14 points! A Crit! 28 points! VENGEANCE!!! YES!!! Go wee man!

Laudna drops a 5th Level Blight on the bitch ... oh fuck, Legendary RESISTANCE? Damn it ... whoa ... 51 damage? Even halved that is SWEET ... Eldritch Blast! Yeah! Hit! Hit! And another hit! SWEET!!! 13 damage, then 15, then another 15! YEAH!!!

Now Otohan goes for Imogen again? Oh for fuck's sake ... thankfully she fails miserably ... second hits though ... ouch ... Orym to the rescue! Nice defence! And Silvery Barbs from Laudna! Yes ...

She keeps going for Imogen ... she is just POURING the hurt on ... and now she's going for Orym? Hmmm ...

Three way attack of opportunity? Fearne CRITS IT!!! Nice! 16 damage! Yeah ... Orym gbets another 22 on her ...

Now she goes for Laudna ... just hits her Mirror instead ... and the second ... and the third ... but then gets her with a CRIT!!! Oof ... 14 slashing and 12 Force damage ... ow ... and she's knocked down ...

Chetney shakes off the rust ... as he flanks he Misty Steps to Imogen and pours a healt potion into her for 12 points back, then slopes back away to safety ...

Ashton powers up as close as he can to Otohan, then holds until she gets into range ...

Otohan uses anothe Legendary Action to attack Laudna ... 10 points of slahsing damage and 18 of Force ... ow ...

Fearne casts 6th Level Blight on her ... gah, only half? 39, down to 18 ... fuck's sake ... it's STARTING to take a toll, but still ...

She's going for Laudna AGAIN?!!! Fuck ...

FCG rolls towards Orym, then pulls a mass Cure Wounds on everyone. ALL OF THEM get 23 points back except himself ...

Caviar attacks again and it's another miss ... crap!

Imogen gets up AGAIN and hurls a Psychic Lance at her ... a Nat20 on her save? Are you FUCKING KIDDING? Argh ... 30 points halved to 15 ... nuts ... so so tries to Telekinetically Push her towards Ashton ... but it fails ... crap ...

Orym tries to jump on top of her and slash down into her ... it hits! Yeah! 9 points, then a Crit ... 18! Third misses, though ... then he backs off to give Ashton room to attack ... she gets an attack of opportunity ... OUCH!!! 16 slashing and 10 Force damage ... shit ...

Why does she KEEP attacking Laudna?

Destroy this bitch, Laudna! HUnger of the Shadow Shard? Oh sweet ... wait ... WHAT? That doesn't work? COME ON, Matthew! Argh ... so she Quickens a 5th Level Hunger ... which HITS ... 48 damage on this bitch! Yeah ...

Oh, she's FLARING? Fuck ... Exultant's Fury? Double fuck ...

But now she's been pulled into Ashton's Gravity Well and he attacks ... 23 plus 2 of fire damage! POW!!!

But now it's HER turn ... she goes for Ashton ... and hits him ... ow ... twice ... AND ANOTHER? Fucking hell ... I can't believe he's still up ... wait, he has Erratic Defence? Okay ... so he slams her right into the wall! Nice ...

She retreats ... and attack Imogen while she does it? Fuck ... Imogens's knocked down ... AND she gets an Action Surge? What? FCG takes half of the damage, BARELY saving her from going out right there ... second hit takes her out, though ... FUCK!!! Now she's going for Chetney instead ...

FUCK ME, CHetney's out AGAIN?!!! Un-fucking-FAIR!!!

Now she's going for FCG ...

Top of the round ... come on Ashton ... he charges her flat out while charging up ... Nat20 on the first hit! Yes! Chaos Burst ... 64 points of damage in a single hit? Wow ... how is she STILL UP?

Otohan goes for FCG ...

Fearne pulls Scorching Rays on her ... fuck ... that doesn't work out HALF as well as we'd expect ... wait, she's FIRE RESISTANT? FUCK!!!

She attacks Letters ... and he's OUT!!! Fuck! Death save ... 19 ... oh thank fuck ...

Wow ... Caviar is just COMPLETELY BALLS on this fight, isn't he?

Imogen Crits her Death Save ... SHE'S AWAKE again! Oh thank fuck ...

Orym picks himself up and draws Seedling, using it to pull himself to Ashton, bouncing off him to attack her ... first attack misses ... second hits ... 12 slashing damage ... next hits ... eight damage ...

Laudna casts Wither & Bloom at 3rd Level to get FCG up again ... spends a sorcery point to quicken qnd pours 12 Necrotic damage points into Otohan ... quckens again, pours an Eldritch Blast into her ... two hits one miss ... 16 damage altogether, halved to 8 ... oof ...

Otohan goes for Orym ... fuck, she is just KILLING It tonight and I hate it ... Orym is BARELY UP right now ... wait ... where the fuck ... she just DRANK A SUPERIOR HEALING POTION?!!! Son of a bitch! 66 POINTS BACK?!!! Fucking hell ...

Chetney succeeds his second Death save ...

Legendary attack on Fearne ... gods fucking DAMN IT ...

Ashton attacks ... first hit is a CRIT!!! 46 points of damage! Yeah ... next hit is a miss? Fuck ... what, is that ALL he can do? Shit ...

She hits him right back ... FUCK!!!

Fearne casts Aura of Life ... it helps, i guess ... zand there's NOTHING ELSE she can do ... O.O

Otohan hits HER ... nasty hit ... but she's got Armour of Agathys, so she burns her right back ... but Aura of Life is GONE ... fuck ... as if she NEVER cast it ...

FCG flips his coin and asks "Run or fight?" Hmmmm ... it lands on its side? Interesting ... so he casts a mass Cure Wounds ... 23 points back to everybody but Fearne ... and now his mood has turned RED?!!! Fucking hell ... so he's gone berserk again ...

Caviar tanks YET ANOTHER FUCKING ATTACK ... oh my GODS why is the Hellhound even OUT?

Imogen casts Sending to her mother ... REALLY?!!! Fucking hell ... and she's COMING?!!! Wow ... mothering instinct is STRONG. Otherwise there is NOTHING she can do right now ... so she's just gonna continue to play dead? Nuts ...

Orym is in shitty condition but pushes through ... makes an attack, small hit ... he's barely hanging in on this fight ... fuck ... so he downs a potion on the bonus action? Okay ...

Laudna casts Phantasmal Force to make Otohan see Liliana coming in to FUCK HER UP?!!! Wow ... and the bitch RESISTS IT ... shit ... that was almost so cool ... so she just Eldritch Blasts her instead ... a hit and a Crit ... 7 on the hit ... she Empowers the Crit ... 11 altogether ... not spectacular but it chips away at her ...

She attacks Orym ... and he's DOWN ... FUCK!!! Next on Fearne ... Shield protects her! Yes! So she goes for Ashton instead ... now an Action Surge on him too? Fucking hell ... and he's ALMOST down except that he's RAGING so he keeps 1 hit point ... fuck ... but her next takes HIM down too ... FUCKING HELL!!!

She attacks Imogen while she's down ... Deception Check? OMG ... barely makes it through ...

Is there ANYTHING Chetney can do? He pulls out Turmoil and casts Shatter ... 19 points of Thunder damage ... and that's all he wrote ... fuck ...

Now she attacks FCG ...

Fearne cuts her off and inflicts 48 points of damage on her ...

She attacks FCG again ... he is BARELY alive at this point and completely insane right now ...

FCG casts Guiding Bolt ... on HIMSELF?!!! Fucking hell ... what the fuck is he DOING? He's self-destructing? What the hell, Sam? Oh, this sounds SO BAD ... is this genuinely going to DESTROY him if he does this?

Oh my gods he is genuinely making a fucking MEAL out of this self-sacrifice ...

Fuck me ... is Matt CRYING? Wow ... whoa ... EVERYBODY IS LENDING HIM DICE to do this ... O.O ... what the epic FUCK, Sam? Oh my fuck that is A LOT of rolls ...

79 damage ...

Sam's description of FCG's death is BEAUTIFUL in the most heartbreaking way possible ... his eyes go white again? Oh my fucking gods ...

Otohan is RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ... holy fuck, she is DEAD ... and so is Letters ... oh my fucking gods I don't believe it ... what the fuck, Samuel?

Holy shit, the whole table is just IN SHOCK right now ...

Just like the rest of the party ... slowly they start to pick themselves and each other up ... those who are down are nursedc back enough to get them on their feet ...

IS THERE anything left of FCG? Ashton finds the coin ... Chetney collects Otohan's backpack ...

They throw what's left of Otohan in the Hole.

Ashton POUNDS an exit into the wall with his fists. They're on the surface again ... and here comes Liliana ... she can already tell they just lost someone ...

So is she with THEM now?

That's it for the night ...

Fuck ... we're all exhausted and completely devastated and SO FUCKING SAD ... oh my gods ... seriously though, NOW what?

[silver-rings-and-rabbits]

Open Heart - Chapter 3

Hanging in the Balance

Matthew had another uncomfortable night, probably getting – at most – three hours of sleep and waking up with a crick in his neck. At least the house kitchen had been empty for a peaceful bowl of cereal and coffee. He felt a little nervous when he remembered Sienna’s suggestion that they all live together. It sounded perfect, but how would he bring it up if she didn’t remember it?

Nonetheless, he felt optimistic as he crossed the parking lot to the hospital and headed straight for the locker room. Jackie was already in there and she gave him a tired nod.

“Happy Tuesday!” Sienna sang as she entered the room a minute later. “I baked cookies!” She placed a large box of chocolate cookies on the bench.

“Firstly, way too loud for 6am on Tuesday morning,” Jackie winced. “Secondly, how did you find time to bake these?” She grabbed a cookie and bit into it, moaning with delight. Matthew helped himself too and had the same reaction. Sienna had to be at least a semi-professional baker.

Meanwhile, Sienna was giggling at them as she changed into scrubs. “My boyfriend snores like a lawnmower so I baked whilst searching for apartments online. The sugar really helps combat the sleep-deprivation!”

Matthew perked up. “So, no morning-after regrets about us drunkenly agreeing to live together?”

“Are you kidding?” Jackie groaned. “The salsa club was going until 4am last night.” She grabbed another cookie.

“Well, look at this!” Sienna showed them some pictures of a rather fancy penthouse, all bright lights and floor-to-ceiling windows. “Wheelchair accessible, five bedrooms, round the corner from Edenbrook, and it’s within our budget!”

“Sounds too good to be true,” Jackie dismissed immediately.

“I’m with Jackie. I don’t know if I feel like getting murdered today,” Matthew said. Sienna rolled her eyes.

“You guys are so dramatic. We’re not going to get murdered. At least, not all five of us,” she added, tapping on her phone. “I’m going to message the landlord that we’re interested in viewing and we’ll go from there.”

Once they were dressed and ready, the three of them joined Landry, Elijah and the rest of the interns in the atrium. Sienna told Elijah and Landry about the listing she had found and they were cautiously optimistic. Meanwhile, Jackie turned to Matthew.

“Moment of truth, meeting our senior residents.”

“I just hope they’re nice.”

Two people hurried down the stairs and joined them. The woman had tightly curled hair and Matthew smiled a little as he recognised her as the kind doctor who had made his ID yesterday. And the man next to her was…

“Oh crap…”

“Greeaaat…”

They had recognised him at the same time. He was the stern-faced doctor who had walked in on them making out in the supply closet. Sure enough, when he spotted the two of them he narrowed his eyes. Matthew gulped.

“What’s wrong?” Sienna had noticed.

“That guy walked in on me and Jackie,” Matthew explained in a low voice. He hadn’t realised Landry and Elijah had got closer.

“Wait, the two of you…?”

“Niiiice. Getting on that Edenbrook tradition fast!”

“Just spilling our business, huh?” Jackie rolled her eyes but was having trouble hiding her laughter.

A few minutes later, Matthew found himself in front of the kind woman. She beamed at him.

“Dr Valentine! Remember me?”

“Of course I do!”

“My name’s Dr Delarosa, but to you I’m just Ines! My colleague over there is Dr Zaid Mirani. We’ll be your senior residents so any problems, questions, anything at all, please ask.”

“I will,” Matthew nodded. “Thanks Ines.”

“How was your first day? Did you make any friends?”

“I did actually.”

“Don’t sound so surprised!” Ines handed him his charts and winked at him. “I’ll be your friend too.”

Matthew was still smiling when he met up with Jackie, who had spoken to Zaid.

“Well, Mirani’s an ass. What’s Delarosa like?”

“Bubblegum rainbows incarnate.”

“Gross. I’ll take the ass. And by the way, he told both of us to keep it in our pants until we’re off the premises.”

The interns were given thirty minutes to go through their charts and make a start on their cases – Matthew had an intriguing one with Landry – before they were paged by Ines to meet at the first floor nurses station.

“I hope you’re all excited! We’re going to begin rounds! And today we have a very special guest…Dr Ramsey!”

“Ohhh my god, this is amazing! But I’m also gonna puke!” Landry whispered excitedly, grabbing Matthew’s arm. Matthew smiled down at him, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to round with Ramsey.

“Let’s see who the interns are going to kill today, shall we,” Ramsey said dryly, as he walked up to the group. His comment didn’t make Matthew feel any better.

“Why does he have to act like such a jerk?” he muttered to Sienna.

Ramsey’s eyes scanned the group but then someone else called his name. A sharp-faced woman with shiny black hair was walking towards him. She smiled at the interns with a grin worthy of a toothpaste commercial and Elijah seemed a little dazed.

“Sorry to interrupt but I require Dr Ramsey’s opinion for a short second.”

Ramsey nodded and they exchanged a few quick, quiet whispers. Matthew couldn’t help being impressed at the new doctor’s confidant command of the room. If only he could hold their attention in the palm of his hand…

The new doctor then walked away, with a wink at Ines. Matthew turned his attention back to Dr Ramsey, who lead them a few meters down the hall before stopping suddenly.

“Let’s start with Dr Valentine’s patient.” He had heard Matthew’s comment.

Matthew tried to keep his head up and walk with purpose to his nearest patient’s room: Mike Knoblauch. His son sat in the corner of the room, loudly playing with action figures.

“Sorry about Matthew. His school’s out for the summer and I’d usually take him to work with me. He has ADHD, I think being in the hospital has him a little overexcited.” He frowned at the group of interns. “Are my eyes going or are they multiplying?”

“Good morning Mr Knoblauch,” Ramsey said smoothly. “They multiply. It’s horrible.”

Matthew didn’t dare react to that one and greeted Mike before selecting his chart and facing the group.

“This is Mike Knoblauch, forty-three. He’s my patient with Dr Olsen.”

Landry gulped and stepped forward nervously. Dr Ramsey indicated for them to go on.

“This is Mike Knoblauch, forty-three…sorry, Dr Valentine already said that…he suffered…um…”

“He’ll be forty-four by the time you’re done,” Ramsey interrupted. Matthew winced as Landry went red. A few of the interns stifled giggles.

“Come on, you’ve got this,” Matthew whispered to him, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Landry nodded, but his chart was shaking in his hands.

“As I was saying, Dr Ramsey, he was in a single car accident…”

“I don’t remember anything about it,” Mike spoke up from his bed. Landry nodded before continuing.

“After stitching his lacerations, internal bleeding was found via ultrasound.”

“And how will you treat it?”

“Uh…rest and symptom control?”

Landry phrased it like a question, but Ethan nodded, apparently satisfied. Landry relaxed and gave Matthew a small smile.

“Don’t you think you should take the bleeding more seriously?”

That was Aurora. Matthew frowned slightly as he answered.

“We considered surgery but the bleeding isn’t severe enough for such an invasive procedure. Of course, if anything changes, we’ll reassess.”

“Doctor, how long will I have to stay in this godforsaken place?” Mr Knoblauch sounded tired.

“A week. Maybe more,” Landry answered immediately. Matthew looked at him as panic rose in Mr Knoblauch’s eyes.

“A week? You just said it wasn’t severe! I can’t stay off work that long, I have a kid and a mortgage…Christ knows how much this stay is costing me!” He turned on Matthew. “I’ve read about hospitals keeping patients just to turn a profit!”

Matthew spoke with measured calm, trying to sound reassuring and professional.

“Mike, the bleeding isn’t severe enough for surgery and we need to keep you on bedrest to monitor the bleeding without it getting worse. I promise you, we’re trying to get you heathy. There’s people counting on you after all.” They both glanced over at Mike’s son who had continued playing throughout the consult. Mike sighed in defeat.

“Fine,” he consented. “Just do what you gotta do.”

Matthew tried not to look too surprised that he had successfully calmed Mike down and that their presentation had been more or less successful as the group moved on to Elijah’s patient.

The next hour passed in a similar fashion as Matthew’s fellow interns presented their various patients and initial findings, fielding questions. Matthew was very impressed at how Jackie’s patient vomited and she neatly side-stepped it just in time, never once breaking stride in her speech. He hoped he might be able to do that someday.

Ines congratulated them on completing their first morning rounds. Ethan took a more direct approach: “Please note, every single one of your patients was alive when I first saw them. If they are not in the same state tomorrow, do not bother showing your face here again.” The interns were then dismissed.

“Thanks for pushing me to get it together earlier,” Landry said to Matthew. “The nerves got to me.”

“No problem, I’ve got your back.”

“Rookie.”

Matthew glanced over his shoulder, hesitantly. Dr Ramsey beckoned him over.

“You’ve got one more to present.” He started leading Matthew down the corridors until they reached a room with a young woman sitting up in bed. Her eyes lit up when she saw Matthew.

“Please tell me you’re my new doctor!”

“Wait, I am?”

“Her usual doctor decided to go golfing instead of doing his job, so I booted him off. She’s yours now, Dr Valentine. Present her case.”

Matthew felt like he was being tested as he picked up the woman’s chart.

“OK, let’s see…patient is Kyra Santana – hi Kyra – twenty-eight years old. She has a fractured arm in need of casting.”

“That’s it?” Ramsey asked, in a tone of voice hinting that was not it. Matthew gulped as he flipped the page on the chart, but nothing else jumped out at him.

“Yes? This feels like a trick question…”

“Kyra, tell Dr Valentine what’s actually wrong with you.”

“I’m afraid it’s cancer, doc.” Kyra was calmly accepting. Matthew’s stomach twisted. Cancer had taken his sister’s life. He wasn’t naïve enough to think he would never deal with a cancer case, but he hadn’t thought it would be his second day on the job.

Ramsey brought Matthew’s attention to Kyra’s chart, pointing to a small text box on the last page.

“That cell count. Indicative of…?”

“Large-cell neuroendocrine carcinoma!” Matthew gasped. Now that the number was staring at him in the face, he wondered how he could have missed it.

“Yeah, it’s my left lung,” Kyra nodded.

“The real problem isn’t always obvious,” Ramsey warned Matthew. “If it was, they’d let any idiot become a doctor.”

“Wait, I don’t understand. If you’re in for cancer treatment, how did you break your arm?”

Kyra broke into a grin, clearly excited to tell this story.

“I was on my way here for another CT. I was going to take the subway, but then I saw this bike abandoned on the side of the street. I had always wanted to ride a bike but never got the chance to learn and this felt like a sign…except I fell off on the first corner because apparently I’m garbage at riding a bike.” She sniggered at her own joke.

“Kyra,” Matthew said, a little shakily. “That was dangerous. With your cancer so advanced, anything could compromise your health.”

“With all due respect, very attractive doctor—” Matthew wasn’t used to compliments and did a double-take. Ethan had heard it all before and hid a smirk behind his hand. “—but my health is already pretty compromised.”

Matthew bit his lip. Ethan cleared his throat.

“Dr Valentine, what is your treatment plan for Ms Santana?”

“Well, I was going to say we need to cast her arm, but now…”

“Good. Do that.” And Ramsey left the room.

Kyra smiled ruefully at Matthew. “Don’t worry, doc. I’m supposed to schedule a surgery after my scan today. My oncologist has a treatment plan.”

“Ok, that’s good. So I’ll cast your arm and send you for that scan. How does that sound?”

“Tragic…for a first date.”

Matthew hesitated, giving Kyra a searching look.

“Are you trying to flirt with me?”

“Trying? I thought it was pretty smooth! I’ll stop if you want.”

Matthew was faintly amused by her forwardness, and slightly flattered. Kyra was objectively very pretty, with a head full of dark curls, full lips and big dark eyes, but she was his patient. That was much more important than anything else.

“You should focus on your treatment. Concentrate on getting better.” He gave her a gentle smile, which she returned…but Matthew caught the sadness behind it, even though Kyra tried to hide it.

He ordered gas and air for Kyra to manage her pain as he set and cast her fracture, asking questions throughout. She had been born and raised in Boston, then studied in Texas, where she got her accounting degree. She had planned to stay in Texas but had been diagnosed with cancer at twenty-four and moved back to Boston to be treated at Edenbrook, living in Beacon Hill with her parents.

“I don’t know where that is.”

“Beacon Hill College campus?”

“Nope,” Matthew laughed. “I’ve been in Boston less than 48 hours and most of those have been spent in Edenbrook!”

“Ooh, let me show you around someday! I’ll take you on the Magical Kyra History Tour! The Freedom Trail has nothing on this!”

“That sounds amazing. You’ve got a deal!”

Kyra whooped and held up her good arm for a high-five.

“Dr Valentine…”

“Call me Matthew.”

“Ok, Matthew. Will you be the first to sign my cast?”

Matthew scrawled get well soon! alongside his signature on the cast. Kyra peered at it.

“What the hell does that say?”

“Get well soon! You can’t read it?”

“All you doctors write in chicken scratch! Do you have to hit a certain level of illegibility before you pass your boards?”

Matthew rolled his eyes good-naturedly as called for a wheelchair to get Kyra to her scan.

“Just get well soon, ok? And stay away from bicycles!”

A little while later, Matthew caught sight of Bryce snapping a picture of the surgical schedule.

“Hey Bryce, how’s your day—”

“Out of the way, Valentine!”

Matthew jumped as Dr Ramsey – accompanied by the dark-haired woman from earlier – rushed past, pushing a seizing patient on a gurney. An older doctor glided over, calm as a quiet tide.

“What do we have here, Ethan?”

“This is the guy Mass Kenmore choppered over: sustained seizures and they can’t identify the cause. His vitals tanked en route…damn it, none of these beds are open!”

“The OR is free, we’ll examine him in there. Has Baz been paged?” The older doctor said as they moved on. It was admirable how he could stay so calm in the face of the seizing patient. Meanwhile, Dr Ramsey was barking at a group of interns clamouring to get a look.

Bryce gave a low whistle.

“You know who that was, right? That was Naveen Banerji!”

“Oh my god, Dr Ramsey’s mentor! He runs the most elite diagnostic unit in the country!”

Matthew gaped down the hallway. He could only imagine what it was like on the team, dealing with the most challenging cases. Who knew what kind of breakthroughs were made on a team like that…

“Had a feeling you’d fanboy out if you knew,” Bryce chuckled. Then his eyes grew mysterious. “You know…I could get you in, if you want.” He whipped out his surgical key card and waggled his eyebrows. “Wanna sneak into the observation deck? Keep the lights off and they’ll never know.”

Matthew hesitated. The offer was tantalising…on the other hand, he actually seemed to be making a better impression on Dr Ramsey today and was not about to mess that up.

“I can’t. Ramsey has it out for me. If we got caught, it would be a perfect excuse for him to kick me out the program.”

“Suit yourself.” Bryce tucked his key card back into his pocket and winked at Matthew. “Bet you wouldn’t be kicked out the program though.”

Matthew’s second day was much better than his first. He diagnosed most of his cases and set up treatment plans, dropping by Kyra’s room after her scan and finding her cheerful as ever, despite the results. Her cast had accumulated more signatures, even one from Dr Ramsey: behave yourself.

Mr Knoblauch’s case was tricky. It turned out he was suffering from migraines on top of everything else, which meant more tests. The tox screen came out clear but then Matthew had a brain wave: what if the migraines had caused the accident. Landry relished the mystery, and an interview with Mr Knoblauch that evening led them to their answer: he had taken some of his son’s ADHD medication on the sly to focus at work and was now suffering withdrawal symptoms, including the migraines that caused him to crash while driving.

Matthew offered Landry a high-five when they left Mr Knoblauch’s room, chuckling as he awkwardly met it with a fist-bump, when their phones buzzed with a text from Sienna: the landlord had agreed to an apartment viewing and the apartment would be theirs if they could make the best offer. Landry stayed to work on Mr Knoblauch’s treatment plan and Matthew rushed to meet Sienna and Elijah.

He could hardly pick his jaw off the floor as he gazed around the penthouse of an apartment block that was two T stops away. The pictures hadn’t been exaggerating. It was as good as promised with new furniture and the city sparkling beneath them, a sea of lights as the night fell.

“How much, Farley?” Sienna asked the landlord, eagerly. He had curly, blond hair, a little like Landry’s, and a beer gut. His clothes and body language suggested a lazy lifestyle, but if his income came from managing an apartment block like this, Matthew didn’t blame him. Although, announcing the listed rental price had now doubled to $10,000 was a dick move.

“Sorry,” Farley said, with a smile that wasn’t sorry at all. “But my other offer’s way above asking. Bunch of tech bros want to put a start-up in here.”

Matthew gritted his teeth. Of course, no matter how casual your landlord appeared, if they were told to jump for more money, they would ask how high.

However, the garden-level apartment in the block was also available (not, as Sienna hoped, in a pretty garden but it was surrounded by a pathway lined with shrubbery). Farley was willing to offer it for less than the original listing on the penthouse. Elijah had to admit it was much more convenient for wheelchair access, and still good for five people though the lighting was dim and the ceiling was low. Matthew reached up and – avoiding the dubious stain – placed his palm flat on the ceiling.

“If anyone’s over seven feet they won’t be able to come in,” he joked.

Still the living room was decent, with a kitchenette to one side and a gaudy couch straight out of the seventies.

“Part of me has always wanted to live in a fallout shelter,” Elijah quipped. “Hey, do you guys mind if I take the biggest bedroom at the end of the hall? I’ll need the extra space.”

“You go for it.”

Sienna had discovered that a door straight off the living area led to a bedroom equipped with a small dresser and double-sized bed.

“This room might get noisy especially if we have people over, but I’ll take it if no one else wants it. The bed is big enough for Wayne to stay as well.”

Matthew looked down the hallway. On his left were two small rooms with single beds and a tiny bathroom nestled between them. On his right, between Sienna and Elijah’s rooms, was another decently sized room with a double bed. Matthew thought of his cupboard under the stairs and immediately stretched across the bed. It was heavenly.

“I’ll take this room!” He called.

“We can make it work,” Sienna said as they regrouped. “We just need some happy-coloured cushions, and lamps…lots of lamps…”

“It is super close to the hospital,” Matthew said. “Let’s face it, we will be spending more time at work than home.”

“Farley, we’ll take it!” Elijah announced.

“Great. Welcome to your new home.” Farley presented them with two sets of keys. “That’s all I got for now but I’ll get some copies made tomorrow.”

Sienna texted Jackie and Landry about the change of plans as they rushed back to the hospital. Jackie was unsurprised but neither of them minded as long as they could have a quiet place to sleep. Meanwhile, Matthew texted his current landlord that he had found a new place and would be moving his belongings immediately.

He wasted no time at the end of his shift, taking the T back to the house to retrieve his still-unpacked suitcase and taking a cab to the new apartment. He let out a big breath as he stood in the living room just enjoying the quiet, empty space before dragging everything into his new bedroom to unpack. A text then came through from his landlord telling him the rent he had paid for the month would not be refunded, but Matthew didn’t care. Even the landlord insisting on calling him Mason was funny.

Once he was unpacked and his clothes neatly hung and folded in the closet, he set up his laptop on the small desk and emailed him mom, going into detail about the apartment and his first two days, until he heard a scuffle at the door and found Sienna dragging two suitcases. She was sweating, but beamed up at him.

“Phase one of the move begins now!”

“You’re not too upset about leaving your boyfriend, are you?” Matthew asked as he helped her with the suitcases.

“Oh no, he understood, and we’ll still have date nights. He’s really busy at the moment, he couldn’t help me move because he’s working late tonight.”

“Don’t worry, I can help you unpack.”

They chatted amicably as they unpacked Sienna’s clothes, shoes and make-up under her instruction.  She had brought strings of fairy lights to hang and had a stack of polaroid photos to decorate her room: shots of her and Wayne, friends and family back home, and a couple from the previous night at Donahue’s. Matthew looked closely at one of the pictures.

“What’s that you’re holding?”

“It’s a chinchilla! My dad breeds them. He puts them in shows and then sells them as pets. They’re so cute.”

Matthew peered at the ball of black fluff in the photo. It was very sweet, with round ears and beady eyes. The closest thing Matthew had had for a pet were the horses his uncle raised, but they weren’t quite the same.

Putting the photo down, he noticed a very old teddy bear wearing a blue scarf round its neck.

“That’s Tedward,” Sienna giggled, flushing a little. “I’ve had him since I was one. My granny knitted him that scarf.”

“That’s adorable. Does your granny knit anything else?”

“She did, but she died when I was twenty. So that scarf isn’t coming off.” She tweaked the scarf and turned back to Matthew. “Can I help you unpack?”

“I finished before you got here, but you can have a look if you want.”

Sienna admired Matthew’s collection of books, but he didn’t have the amount of pictures and decorations she did. He had a couple of photos on his desk including his graduation picture. He had graduated at the top of his class by quite a margin and was looking a little bashful but smiling wide. His mom looked small standing next to him in the photo, but her pride practically burst out the frame. They had the same wavy brown hair, but his eyes were blue and her eyes were green. His sister had had green eyes too, and Sienna was just now moving to the picture Matthew had placed on his bedside table.

“Who’s this?”

“My twin sister.”

“I didn’t know you have—”

“She died of cancer when we were twelve.”

“Oh. Oh, Matthew, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok.” It was always an awkward topic to bring up, and then no one ever knew how to respond. “It was acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. Started when we were ten…but she lost the fight.”

“What was her name?”

“Casey.”

The photo had been taken the summer before they turned ten, the last time Matthew remembered things as ‘normal’. Casey was paddling in a stream, laughing at someone off-camera. Sunlight was shining on her red hair; she had their father’s colour. After Casey had died, Matthew’s father had worked longer and longer hours, sometimes not coming home until the middle of the night. Amidst the grief of losing his sister, his parents marriage had crumbled around him, and then he and Holly had moved out of Denver, Colorado to live with her brother in Carbondale. Matthew’s father had never appeared interested in retaining their relationship. It was almost as if he wanted to forget completely and start over. It was when Matthew was seventeen and came out to him as bisexual when his father had no interest in hearing any more that Matthew finally gave up trying.

“Is that why you became a doctor?” Sienna asked, gently. She was sitting next to him on the bed, lightly resting a hand on his arm.

“No,” Matthew said. “I’ve always wanted to be a doctor, I don’t remember wanting to be anything else. But I think now I know a bit more about what patients might need beyond medical care.”

He still fondly remembered the nurse who had apologised to Casey when she cried about the painful treatments, and had then painted her nails and given her a little make-up to perk her up. She hadn’t tried to hide anything from Matthew when he asked questions, during a time when a lot of people assumed he wasn’t old enough to know they were lying about how bad the situation was.

He swallowed and looked away. He didn’t cry about it much these days but thinking about her always left him feeling empty, that something was missing. Sienna patted his hand.

“You know where I am if you ever want to talk,” she said kindly.

“Thanks.” Matthew cleared his throat. “And same to you, if there’s anything on your mind.” They shared a smile, and then Sienna nodded to the sketchbook beside his bed.

“So do you draw a lot?”

“A fair bit. For stress relief.”

He nodded for her to have a look and she gasped.

“These are so good! How do you do it?” She looked through pages of art. Matthew had sketched his family from photos. There was a page of horse heads from Uncle Tony’s stables. A small town overlooked by a mountain. A pond, a sunset, a field of flowers. Sienna reckoned he had to be semi-professional.

Matthew was blushing. “It’s just something I’ve always been able to do. My teacher was a bit disappointed that I chose medicine over art.”

“Do you think you’d be able to do a group drawing of all of us or something? That we could frame for the living room?”

“Maybe…just don’t rush me or I won’t be able to do it.”

Sienna promised Matthew she wouldn’t as she closed the sketch book. The two of them stayed up for a while longer, drinking tea and speculating about their future at Edenbrook, and when Matthew realised Holly had replied to his email, Sienna said ‘tell her I said hi!’ as if she had been family friends for years.

Over the next two nights, the other three slowly moved in. Sienna had already ordered six small sunlamps: one for each bedroom, and the living room. Elijah was taking charge of setting up TV and audio equipment. Landry was thrilled that no one was having sex in his room.

“Even you?” Jackie laughed.

“Well…probably not…”

“Hey Matthew, do you want anything from the store?” Sienna poked her head in Matthew’s room to find him turning his bag inside out. “What’s wrong?”

“I think I left my ID badge at the hospital and if I don’t find it, Ramsey will chew me out again.” Matthew sighed and grabbed his key (Farley had been surprisingly prompt at getting the copies made). “I’ll have to go back and get it. I’ll be back before you know it!”

Ten minutes later, Matthew was in the Edenbrook atrium searching through the lost and found box behind the desk. There was a hell of a lot of pens in there, a few key rings, even something that looked like a wedding ring, but he finally found his face and sighed in relief as he clipped it to his shirt.

“”You can’t do this, Naveen!”

Matthew jumped. That was Dr Ramsey and he was angry, on a vastly different level than even Matthew had seen. Moving very cautiously, he peeked over the top of the desk to see Ramsey storming into the atrium with Naveen gliding behind him.

“I’m afraid it must be done, Ethan. Not everything is in your control and it’s time you finally realised that.” Only years of experience could bring that swan-like calm in the face of Ramsey’s wrath.

“You are not my teacher anymore.”

“I am always your teacher.”

Ethan suddenly punched a wall. Naveen winced and Matthew hastily ducked back down behind the desk.

“Dammit Naveen!” He stormed back down the corridor. Dr Banerji sighed before going in the opposite direction.

Matthew waited a few minutes before breaking for the exit.

[ofwoodsandwaves]

but what do they know of love? — Linn D

[honeybeewhereartthee]

IMAGINE one night when your sleeping late. It could be because of work, homework, or playing late or your mourning your friendless life through the dark. You look through the window, to the apartment next building. You saw four pink haired that seems to share the same face or sort of relative to one another that only differ because of heights, dragging a body bag. All of it look sus.

MC: wow. A murder in front of my salad.

You joked as you eat some candies (you did wave your hand to one of them, the smaller one when they saw you across the building and is shock to move) and move on your life, to finally sleep as you admit your too weak without one. It's not like you don't care there's a probably a murder next to the building you live. Or the fact you remember clearly there faces from every details if you see them the next morning or the days later. It could be a wrong occasion and your blaming people for no reason. And it's none of your business. Humans walk pass murderers and crime scene without knowing they did till years later, as a daily basis anyway.

MC: The more you involve the more your life become complicated and dangerous anyway.

As you went to bed, dead asleep as you lay your head to your beloved pillow. You don't notice four pink haired people enter your house and stared at your sleeping as if you don't see murder. You even dare to wave at one.

[ A/N: they all speaking in dialect. I'm too lazy to write them one by one in a dialect ]

Oldest pink haired: is this the one who saw us?

Cute youngest pink haired: yes, big sister

Second oldest pink haired: they don't look like they seen murder.

Cute youngest pink haired: are we going to eliminate them?

Third oldest pink haired: we can't. They have done nothing yet to be involved other than waving at Haku.

Haku (?): Can... I do the spy job and watch over them to see if they rat us out?

Haku: please, please. Let me out of the house! Hopefully this person is the key out of my prison called home!

The other three thought about it as they look at your sleeping form and around your work place, realize your working in ES. It's where the current main family heir is working and living at.

Oldest pink haired: we need to leave this place first. Well talk back home.

Other three: yes sister.

[ A/N: end of dialect change]

Soon the four left and you open your eyes, your waken by the chitchat of those four that don't even hide that they are speaking out loud. Since your a pro of faking sleep after those years of hiding from your guardian your not sleeping every night to do your hobby. Your quite a pro at pretending without your heart racing to be caught on the act.

MC: ...

MC who then turn to sleep in another position and ignore the scene: don't they know they should shut the fuck up when they chitchat in front of someone sleeping. Talk about being rude.

As you sleep through the night and days passes by, a person who look like that cute pink haired assassin come to your work place to apply to be an idol. As you remember their voice and face from A to a Z. You know it's him when he start speaking that dialect.

Kohaku: hello my name is Kohaku Oukawa. I'm here to apply as an idol. Can I work as the one under ya too? Sorry Is that a bad request? I don't know much how people work in the outside my family works. But I promise I'll do my job very well --(bluh bluh bluh)

MC: holy-- he talk too much...

MC, who act professional and don't effect your personal matter in work hours quickly act like a pro: did you passes your form yet? I don't see it.

Kohaku: yes I sent it through the (old email site, no one uses now)

MC: holy crap. Is he from old age or something. Nevermind that other kid (hiiro) is much worse than him. He question what is a computer that time.

MC: do you have it printed ?

Kohaku, who pull out a printed copy: yes. MC-han.

MC: I don't remember telling you my name. But I would rather not question it.

MC: anyway you could wait---

The door slam open and revealing the knight unit leader who have a sparkling eyes staring at kohaku.

Rude person who broke the door (Tsukasa): YOUR HIRED.

MC: I don't remember him apply under your company. Ibara call dibs on the new idols applying before you. You clearly state as a gentleman you would not take one yet.

(A/N: I don't know how they apply in different agency. So this is a joke. Lmao)

Tsukasa in tears while pleading to change your mind; i-i... But kohaku... 😭 Can I take my words back?

MC: sorry I work under the emperor(eichi) command not under a knight.

The sad boy left the room looking still at you with teary eyes as if you bullied him. You then turn to look at the bewailed silent kohaku who watch the whole scene in amazement.

MC: --anyway. You will receive a text once your unit is form. Good day.

Kohaku: oh... Thanks again. See you soon. MC-han.

You stared at him leaving and thinking that soon probably a no way, but it turn out it's only a couple of days as you watch the unit form under your eyes and debut in the most crazy way. You live your job quite like it's normal routine, minus being stared or felt being watch by some eyes a few times in a day and days passes in peace. You somewhat become close to kohaku to hang out and which made you open up to him through, not much yet but slowly it improve enough to spill the beans.

That being said there's a day when your out of it. Probably cause you drink some alcohol chocolate given by wataru. Your in your office that time.

MC who's seeing triple kohaku from drunken state: you know, I remember seeing you sometime ago. Your with your siblings. Your called Haku. what a cute nickname.

Kohaku:!!!

MC: I would like to complain to shut the fuck up when your talking beside a sleeping person. If your going to murder me, do it quick. Life with suspense is hard.

MC who remember kohaku saying his lock up in his house almost all his life till recently: and somehow you made that a reason to go out of your house. Good for you.

Kohaku is conflicted to kill you at the spot since you and him are close buddies and he forget about the matter till you reminded him: I...

MC somehow remember that you have some braincells : if you kill me. Won't that mean you'll be back to your house?

Kohaku:..

Kohaku; thats right, my sister's only let me out to keep MC from speaking of the event. I don't know what I reason to leave again if I kill them. plus it won't feel right to kill them. They are close to me now after all... Sigh I think I failed my job, I shouldn't be close to my target.

Kohaku: you aren't scared ?your working beside that kind of person.

MC: I don't have the right to judge you. Nor I care about it. Not because I'm a saint. It's because i really think it's none of my business. Anyway are you killing me or not.

Kohaku: no. I would continue to watch you so you won't tell out the secret.

MC, disappointment 1000%: sadge.

Kohaku; what? Why are you disappointed? How do people brain work outside home? Aish. My brain hurts.

MC, already lying in the couch and dead asleep: zzzz

Kohaku stared at you asleep, remembering the same scene from sometime ago. He smiled thinking that day change his life. He thought days would be better as his out of his cage, which is. With his crazy odd ball kind of unit and his target--you. So there's no way he can end the fun when it's just getting started.

Context: reader is known as MC. Your a producer but not anzu. Your working under specifically under eichi but help out ES as a side job. This is a crack fiction. You should probably report crime if you see one in real life. The edit above is supposed to be long haired kohaku, not fem kohaku. But think what you like. Idrc

Kohaku Oukawa speaking

Kohaku Oukawa thinking

Tsukasa Suou speaking

Words of the unknown and people

Thoughts of the unknown

[stickynotestoletters]

ugggh so I am a dirty little slut for sal fisher and I had a thought about it sooooo,,,,

Sal Fisher x GN (masc body) headcanons of what he's like with you

this is gonna be very heavily influenced by the fact I am sleepy and really wanna write this rn!

Warnings: Non-canon-compliant (Sal lives, Larry lives, Todd doesn't go crazy, no murder), some NSFW stuff, switch-bottom leaning Sal, Service Top Sal

Highschool

When he first meets you he's, hands down, the most flustered he's ever been before

Like, he's really into you

He just sees you in the hall and immediately blushes

he goes around his days as usual and stuff still but now he's eyeing you whenever you come into view

it's cute, he looks like a little kitten peering at you from around the corner because he’s too shy to say something

Larry makes little jokes about it and always tells him to talk to you

"wow, what a stalker" is his usual line when he finds Sal looking at you from somewhere

he musters up the courage to talk to you in his junior year when you wear a Sanity's Fall's shirt to class one day

from then on you two talk together whenever you have class and stuff

your parents move into the apartments in your senior year because of a demotion and you and Sal start hanging out outside of school

He finally asks you out on the last day of senior year

You and the gang go out to the football field the night after graduation

after they clean up all of the equipment for the stage

You guys end up smoking a blunt because Larry brought some of his stash and, hey, what's the harm?

You and Sal end up laying in the middle of the field while Larry chases Ash and Todd around on the bleachers

They're laughing and howling at the moon so you two just listen

Sal takes his mask off cause he feels more comfortable laying with it off

He takes out his pigtails and you comb through his hair for a bit

You look him in the eyes and just stop brushing your fingers through his hair long enough for him to look up at you

your eyes both meet and you two just stare

You see the stars in his eyes

Sal just thinks "You're the prettiest person I've ever seen"

"what?" "uhhhh....nothing"

"It's okay Sal!" You giggle at him and he giggles too

you both start giggling at each other and you two hug each other

still, just facing each other, heads tucked into shoulders, chests pressed so tightly together, legs intertwined

It's calm

He feels safe

So safe and warm

It's wonderful

So he sighs and says" I think I'm in love with you"

And it's an accident

He doesn't regret it, not processing it until you say "I'm in love with you too silly"

And you stay like that

no panic or guilt

just tucked away into each other

The gang goes to 7/11 that night-morning really it is 3 am-and get slushies

all of them are teasing you guys as you hold hands on the way there

it's cute

He's cute

You're cute

You both feel warm in the jackets you switch from each other

it's cute

"God the stalker finally got the victim in their clasps, another tragically happy ending" "Shut it Larry Face"

College

You both end up staying in different places after high school

You take a year off college and stay with your parents at Addison Apartments and Sal moves into the gang's house

It's nice, you see each other regularly for dates and ghost hunts

it's blissful

Then Sal starts having his nightmares again and you come over regularly for sleepovers

it's months into this routine of going home, getting new clothes from the apartments, go out with Sal, come and sleep at his place to help with nightmares, repeat that Larry has the most brilliant idea

"Why don't you just move in with Sal? You practically live with him anyway."

This is in front of you two, you're both at the gang's house and drinking some morning coffee

Sal not really jokes and agrees

And then you genuinely agree

It's a big moment for you two

Sal wanted you to move in right away but was scared his nightmares would affect you or you two wouldn't end up working out

So you two complied and stayed where you were

But this is gonna be an actual conversation where he is up for it and knows you two are stable

So you talk about it

You two agree

And you end up moving in that day

it's not that hard since most of your clothes are over there already

It's basically just moving your bed, knick-knacks, and bookshelf in so that's just the big things since you have a queen

It's bliss from there

you both settle into a nice routine and after you start college Sal decides to focus on his music for rn and take a break

You get a job and the dynamic is just... so pure

you guys are finally, finally, okay and the best thing is that you're together

He's still adorable and you're still sweet

You guys end up getting your own apartment outside of Nockfell and Addison Apartments

The gang stays around

Larry ends up moving in with you two for a little bit until he can afford his own place

Sal gets a lot more gigs out there in the city than he would have gotten in Nockfell and you get a job at a little club

Sal ends up playing there often because of you

NSFW headcanons

Okay so Sal is a hopeless romantic

before he moved to Nockfell he never really had anybody else who was interested in him

so he was super hopeless in planning your first time together

once you had slept over with each other a couple of times he makes this grand layout and waits for you to walk in to see him spred on the bed, clad in some cute underwear and nothing else

turns out though you were sick and sent Larry to tell Sal you couldn’t come over cause your phone was dead and you didn’t wanna get him sick

So Larry ends up walking in on a naked Sal and scarying the everloving crap out of him

He makes fun of y'all after that about it

So your first time is honestly uneventful after that whole fiasco

Deciding to just causally hook up at his place instead

Sal is a switch but he leans for bottoming

he can top, he's really good at being a service top

He’s not insecure about himself, he’s pretty big for his height *cough* (9.7) *cough*

but he prefers being spoiled and called pretty

loves being called feminine nicknames like "pretty baby" even if he is topping

stuff that's gender-neutral but is more feminine in origin

He likes it when you do it doggy-style if you're topping just cause if you press him into the mattress he can feel you better inside of him

Whines so much when you go faster

really likes getting fucked stupid, he wants his throat to be sore and his ass to be bed-ridden

Loves topping you when you're in his lap straddling him

He really likes to make you do work for a while, guides you and everything until you're breaking

when you eventually end up asking for him to "just fuck me already Sal...please?" He wants tears down your face, crying and desperate for him or else it’s not gonna happen

He ends up fucking into you like a monster from there if you are

loves when you lay on your back and he's on his knees sitting and thrusting into you, pulling you onto his lap

very vocal either way but he laughs and giggles more with you, his moans are less fucked out and more "oh god, yes!" in nature

His sex drive is really high, he could go for hours

If you end up getting tired when he's bottoming he's gonna bounce on your pretty cock and ride you so pathetically

It's so pathetically adorable

but if he's topping and you get tired he usually asks you if he can fuck you to sleep

You end up agreeing only if he cleans you up after

He doesn't have any severe kinks or whatnot

He's really into being breed though

Tie him up too while you do it

he likes gags as well

when you breed him he'll end up feeling bad after you finish and he can't feel it anymore once it's out

So you end up giving him a buttplug after to compromise

Sometimes if he's being a brat you'll tie him up, gag him, and leave him with a vibrator over stimming him

You'll leave him in the room and come back to a crying Sal, salivating and so fucked out without having even cum once

If you're ever being the brat he does the exact opposite

He'll tie you up but make it so you can't close your mouth

You have to be quiet though, he doesn’t want to hear anything louder than breathing and your pathetic whimpers

you're over stimmed to hell and orgasm so much it's difficult to keep awake

but do not fall asleep cause if you don't get through it to the end it won't end (Consensually of course)

He and Larry definitely hooked up once or twice before meeting you so I think he'd ask you to let him in on it

It becomes a regular occurrence until Larry moves out

But when you do have a threesome and he is feeling dominant get ready to not move for the next three weeks

It's nice though and doesn't end up changing the relationship between you three

That's it, I gotta stop before I cream myself into dirtier shit cause I am his slut. I have Sal Fisher brain rot syndrome so I'll definitely make another one eventually. Request some stuff and I'll be happy to write!

Continuation for Threesome hcs here by request

-Laika

[tom-holland-parker]

Lets get Married

Summary: On a class trip to Vegas, Peter is determined to make this trip a memorable one, even if it means doing something crazy. 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Word count: 2911

Masterlist

Note: If you’ve never heard Lets get married by bleachers you are missing out.

Taking a bunch of 17/18 year olds to vegas probably wasn't the best idea. Between Flash's constant suggestions on going to a strip club and being stuck on a crowded bus in 90 degree weather, it was already turning out to be terrible.

"Well someone doesn't look too happy" Peter joked as you rested your head on his shoulder. You could feel a headache forming in your head and the heat was only making things worse. "If Flash doesn't stop talking I'm going to stab him" you groaned trying to block out his loud voice.

Peter chuckled, giving you a kiss on your forehead, "sorry to burst your bubble but it's my job as Spiderman to make sure you don't do that"

You rolled your eyes, "but it's your job as Peter AKA my boyfriend to let me get away with it"

"You do realize you're joking about murder" Mj interrupt as she poked her head above her seat in front of you. "I know you're thinking the same thing Mj". She shrugged before returning to the book.

"I’m very glad we finally got a peaceful field trip I don’t think I can handle another Europe or Washington" You joked looking up at Peter. He chuckled, “Don’t jinx it. I don’t want any sort of trouble to happen”

"Well we could always cause some trouble" you smirked, "I've been researching some casinos"

"Since when do you know how to gamble" He laughed. "I'm Tony Stark's daughter doing risky stuff is in my blood. Plus my dad left me with his credit card" you opened your wallet showing Peter the shiny black amex that was tucked in the pocket.

“I don’t know about this,” He said nervously. You scoffed, “You’re telling me that I made all of us get fake IDs and you’re not even going to let me gamble” 

Peter rolled his eyes, remembering the exact day you were talking about. It was almost a month ago when you tricked him and your friends into taking photos that they thought were for the yearbook but turned out to be fake IDs that you needed to get into a party. “I never wanted that fake ID” 

“Yeah but you’re beautiful girlfriend got you one anyway” You leaned over placing a soft kiss on his neck, “Please baby let have some fun. You know what they say What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”

"If you guys are planning on sneaking out, count me in" Mj interrupted, not bothering to wait for a reply before ducking her head back over the seat.

Peter sighed as he shook his head, "Fine but only because Ned has been studying the art of poker for weeks". He pointed to the row next to you where Ned sat reading The Poker Players Bible

“He’s learning poker from a book?” You shook your head in amusement, “He’s gonna lose” 

Peter chuckled, “Have some faith in him. I think he’d make an excellent poker player”. You rolled your eyes, glancing at Ned again before looking back at Peter. 

"Wanna make a bet?" You smirked sitting up from your slouched position. Peter smiled and nodded. "We'll let Ned play three games of poker. If he wins at least twice I'll do whatever you want but is he loses twice then you have to do whatever I want"

He hesitated trying to figure out whether or not you were joking. He rolled his eyes when he realized you were serious, "deal". He shook your hand, "I need to talk to Ned''. You rolled your eyes and put on your headphones as Peter got up and walked to the row besides you.

You didn't notice but Peter had been nervous ever since the plane had landed in Vegas. He knew you'd always wanted to come here and he wanted to make your first trip here a memorable one. "Hey Ned" he whispered, glancing towards you to make sure you weren't paying attention, "I need your help"

"I thought you said you wouldn't have to do Spiderman things on this trip" he replied in a worried tone.

Peter shook his head, "no it's not that" he reassured, "Y/N and Mj are going to come with us tonight to the Casino, but I've made a bet with Y/N and I need you to win two of three poker games tonight"

Ned smiled, "don't worry I've got this I spent the whole plane ride playing in small online competitions and I've won a few games so I'm pretty much a pro"

"great" Peter chuckled nervously, "I'm just nervous. I still don't know what I'm going to do to make this trip memorable for her" he glanced at you watching as you stared out the window.

"Why don't you just cross out number 4 on her bucket list" Ned said as he looked at his book again.

"What are you talking about?" Peter questioned. Ned sighed putting down his book again, "do you remember last summer when we all hung out at her place and she stole a bottle of her dads tequila and she started talking about her bucket list"

Peter nodded waiting for Ned to explain, "well number 4 was get married in Vegas even if it's just a joke"

A burst of laughter exploded from Peter, "are you insane? I can't do that. Her father will kill me" he whispered trying to avoid the strange looks he was getting from his sudden outburst.

"Oh come on I'm sure he'll find it funny" Ned smiled.

Peter nodded, “Ok yeah I’m gonna do it. I'm gonna marry her”. Ned chuckled, "Great. Now I need to study or else you’re going to lose this bet” He returned back to his book as Peter, who was now lost in his thoughts returned back to his seat, letting you rest your head on his shoulder for the rest of the bus ride. 

///

“Ned if you don’t quiet down we’re going to get caught” You whispered as you and your friend piled out the hotel room. It was nearing 11 and all the teachers had forced the students to stay in the rooms for the rest of the night. “Your heels are making more noise than me” Ned joked as you all entered the elevator. 

You rolled your eyes grabbing Peter wrist to look at the time on his watch, “Alright we all need to be back by 4:30” 

To your surprise the casino wasn’t crowded, then again who is going to a casino on a Monday night. “Ok babe, me and Mj are gonna play craps. I'll leave Ned to practice before you lose this bet” You kissed his cheek before grabbing Mj’s hand and guiding her to the dice table. 

“Don’t you think your father is going to question why there are charges to a Vegas casino on his credit card?” Mj asked as you took money out of the ATM. You shrugged, “That’s a problem for another day”. She chuckled as you moved to the table and placed your bets on the game. The dealer handed you your chips as well as the dice signaling to you that the game had started.

It was only an hour later when Peter met up with you and Mj. He wrapped his arms around your waist as you placed your betting chips in their spots, “Are you winning?” He whispered as you grabbed the dice from the table. 

“I’ve done pretty good so far. I need a 7” You shook the dice in your hand before turning to him, “Kiss for good luck?”

He chuckled and gave you a quick kiss, watching as you threw the dice. He could sense your nervousness as the dice moved down the table hitting the wall before landing on the lucky number 7. 

Everyone at the table shouted cheerfully, happy that they had won the round. You gather your chips from the dealer, “Alright Jerry it's been nice playing with you I hope to do it again sometime” you waved goodbye as you all walked to the poker table where Ned sat waiting for the group to join him before he started another game. 

“Alright Ned three games I betting on two loses but Peter thinks differently” You teased as he rolled his eyes, “Prove me right”

If you were being honest you didn’t exactly know what was going on. You’d seen you father and the other avengers play poker before but they never let you in on the game so you hardly knew anything about it, but so far you could tell that you were losing the bet. 

Ned was in the middle of the second game and according to Mj, who didn’t have a biased opinion on this bet, things were looking good for Peter. Ned had won the first game and it looked like he was going to win this one. You sighed in annoyance, hating that you had to admit you were wrong. 

Peter smiled, wrapping his arms around you, “Don’t worry babe I think you’ll actually like that i have planned”. You rolled your eyes watching as Ned cheered clearly happy that he won the game. You sighed, “Ok what do you want” 

“Give me 3 minutes. Stay here” He smiled, grabbing Mj’s arm, leaving you alone at the table with Ned. 

“Ned what does he have planned?” You smirked hoping to wean out whatever Peter was going to do. He shook his head, “Y/N I love you but Peter’s my best friend and I can’t just give away the surprise” You rolled your eyes, turning around at watch as Peter talked to Mj. 

“Please Mj” Peter begged, “I want to make this trip memorable and i'm only asking you because her father doesn’t know” 

“You’re insane” her eyes widened at the thought of you and Peter getting married this young, “You guys are 18 do you seriously think getting married is the best idea” 

“It’s been on her bucket list for years” He pointed out trying to justify his plans. “Please Mj if not for me then do it for the happiness of your best friend” 

She took a deep breath, “Fine I will walk Y/N down the aisle”. Peter smiled pulling Mj into a tight hug. “You’re the best” 

///

“Guys I don’t appreciate surprises” You joked as Ned guided you through the crowded sidewalk. “Don’t worry we’re almost there” He reassured you. You sighed and kept walking as all your friends laughed. 

You came to a sudden stop as Peter grabbed your hand, “Ok Ned you can uncover her eyes” he chuckled. Ned took his hands off your eyes stepping back as you looked around in confusion. Peter was on one knee with a nervous smile plastered on his face. “Y/N I love you”

“Peter what are you doing?” You looked up noticing the small chapel you all stood in front of, “Please don’t tell me-”

“I love you and I know this is on your bucket list so” he kissed you hand, “Will you marry me?”

You stood silent for a moment, shock taking over your body, “Peter-” His face dropping, thinking maybe this was completely ridiculous. You smiled through as sigh, “Yes I will marry you” 

He stood up quickly, pulling you into a hug. “Alright well we better hurry because it’s already 3 and we need to be back at the hotel soon” 

You nodded your head as everyone walked into the small chapel, “Hi I made an appointment online” Peter said nervously as you walked to the front desk hand in hand, Mj and Ned trailing close behind you.

“Peter?” The short lady said. He nodded, grabbing his ID and handing it to her. You did the same as she typed the information in the computer. “Ok boys you can go through there and stand at the altar, girls you can come with me” 

She smiled guiding you and Mj into a separate room, “Ok so we have different dress and veil options for you to pick from but you don’t seem like an extremely flashy girl so I'm going to suggest the little white dress option” 

She handed you a hanger that held a body con white dress with glitter details, it actually looked like something you had in your closet at home. You nodded your head moving to the dressing room to put in on. You locked the door behind you taking this time as a moment for you to take everything in. You were about to get married. Even if it was just a joke it was still a crazy thing to do. You weren’t nervous that you’d regret it, you loved Peter with all your heart, but you were nervous about everyone else's reactions. I can do this, You whispered to yourself putting the dress on before walking out the small room.

“Alright here goes nothing” You smiled nervously and you grabbed Mj’s arm. The song over the speaker began to play as you slowly walked down the aisle. Peter turned to look at you, shocked at how good you looked in all white, a color you rarely ever wore. 

"Wow" he muttered as you stood in front of him, handing your bouquet of fake flowers to Mj as she stood behind you. "You look amazing" You smiled grabbing his hand. 

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Peter Benjamin Parker and Y/N Y/M/N Stark, in marriage. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife" the short lady read from the thin book in her hands. "Do you Peter Parker, take Y/N Stark to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

Peter smiled, looking you in the eyes, "I do"

"Do you Y/N Stark take Peter Parker to be you lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part"

You nodded your head enthusiastically, "I do"

"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife you may now kiss the bride" the room filled the applause as you pulled Peter into a quick passionate kiss. Only pulling apart when you realized your empty fingers, "wait we don't have rings"

"Oh i got that covered" Ned said cheerfully as he pulled out two contained of rings, the ones you usually get from the quarter machines, "they were the only ones I could find on short notice"

"they're perfect Ned", you chuckled, pulling out the pink and purple rings, "Dibs on pink"

Peter rolled his eyes forcing the small ring onto his finger, "I don't think I'll ever be able to take this off" he joked

"That's the point of a wedding ring" you grabbed his hand, "you can't get rid of me that easily"

"Alright time for pictures and then certificate" the short lady appeared with a Polaroid Camera snapping pictures of you and Peter.

"Are you happy?" You looked up and smiled. "I'm married to my favorite girl in the whole world. Why wouldn't I be happy?" Peter smirked before giving you a quick kiss.

Time flew by so fast. After the certificate was signed, a bottle of champagne was popped leading you to get extremely tipsy. By the time you all got back to the hotel it was already 5. Peter carried you up the stair bridal style watching as you moved sleepily in his arms.

"What the hell" Flash said loudly startling everyone. You all turned around watching as Flash stood in the hallway in his bathrobe surrounded by two girls who definitely weren't students. "Go to bed Flash" you mumbled, cuddling further into Peter's arms.

"You guys snuck out?" He said in a shocked voice, "Oh I can't wait until you guys to get caught"

Mj chuckled opening the door to the hotel room you shared with her, "Flash do those girls know that you're 16" she lied. The girls gasped quickly walking away from the angered boy. He took a deep breath before stomping back into his room. "Gosh I hate that dude" Ned said as you all walked into the hotel room.

Peter placed you in bed, taking off your shoes before tucking you in, "I'll see you tomorrow morning Mrs. Parker"

You smile tiredly, "I love you Mr. Parker"

///

"Well well well if it isn't the newly weds" Your father said angrily as you walked through the elevator doors. You kept your composure not wanting to give you and peter away

"What are you talking about?" You said through a smile

"Don't act dumb" you father said as he pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, "I'm the one who gave Peter the emergency credit card I can see everything he buys"

Your eyes widened, Peter took a deep breath, "Mr. Stark-"

"Im gonna give you ten seconds to run" Your father said as he threw down the paper. 

"I'll talk to you later babe" Peter quickly kissed your cheek before rushing out the room. You father quickly trailing behind

[marauderundercover]

Taking Chances Ch. 23: Stealing the Batmobile (Alt Prompt Driving)

AO3

Prev

Marinette looks at her little brother with an amused expression before asking:

“He really stole the Batmobile?” 

“Yup. Claimed he was a better driver than me.” Dick says with a snort. Marinette winces. 

“To be fair, he’s probably right. You’re kind of an awful driver.” She says with an apologetic smile. Dick clutches his heart and sniffles loudly. 

“My own flesh and blood!” He cries dramatically. Damian scoffs. 

“Tt. She is on my side, Grayson. As she should be since she is <i>my<i> flesh and blood.” He says with a scowl. 

“The pain!” Dick cries, throwing himself off the couch and onto the ground. Jason just sighs and shakes his head, while Tim looks on tiredly. The five of them had decided to hang out at the manor together earlier, which had somehow shifted into telling stories about each other and funny things that had happened. Marinette loved hearing stories about her brothers from when they were younger. 

“Out of all of us, I am likely the most competent driver.” Damian says, glancing at Marinette before nodding once. “And I assume Marinette would be the second most competent.” He adds. Marinette’s face instantly turns red- she’d never driven before. Her little brother (who was two years younger) was already a great driver. And she…..was not. 

“Oh, uh, I’ve actually never driven before.” She admits. Damian frowns. 

“Wait, you’re almost fifteen and you’ve never driven before?” Jason asks, leaning forward. “Like, ever” 

“Well, no. You can’t get a license in France until you’re eighteen. So no one in their right mind is going to let a fourteen year old drive around the city.” She explains. She watches as a thoughtful look crosses Damian’s face before settling back into a neutral mask. 

“I require your assistance with something. Follow me.” He says, standing and walking out of the room. 

“Er, okay.” She says, furrowing her eyebrows. “We’ll be right back.” She reassures her other brothers. She walks quicker, trying to catch up with Damian who was practically running at this point. He glances at her and raises an eyebrow. 

“Did the others act as if they would follow?” He asks. She frowns, but shakes her head. “Excellent.” He says, opening one of the entrances to the Batcave. She follows him, but freezes as they walk in and she sees where he’s heading. 

“Damian, we’d get into so much trouble.” She says, planting her feet and freezing in place. 

“Not if we aren’t caught. Which we will be if we don’t leave soon.” He says, rushing into the changing room. She stays where she is, glancing down at Tikki peeking out of her purse. 

“Marinette, your father would not like this.” She warns. Marinette bites her lip. 

“I know, but Damian seemed so excited.” She counters, with a small smile. Tikki gives her an unimpressed look. Marinette watches as her little brother walks back out, dressed in his uniform. He nods at her once and then climbs into the driver’s side. She hesitates, weighing her options. She could go with and attempt to drive the Batmobile, or she could watch her little brother drive away and know that no one knew where he was. Crap. Pushing away every instinct telling her this is a horrible idea, she rushes after Damian and hops into the car, calling her transformation as she does. She grins at her brother, her Ladybird suit had started giving her more confidence than her Ladybug suit. It was odd, but she loved it. He immediately slams on the gas, driving out of the cave and into Gotham.

“Ukht, will you be driving as well?” He asks and she hesitates before nodding. It was the Batmobile, what could go wrong?

---

Okay apparently a lot could go wrong, she thinks, watching as the Batmobile slides into the Gotham river. 

“How the fuck did you guys manage that?” A voice asks. She whirls around, wincing when she sees Jason, as Red Hood. She can’t see his face but she can just imagine the look he’s giving them. 

“In my defense, we were left unsupervised.” She says. He scoffs. 

“You little shits left us!” He reminds her. 

“Ladybird had never had the chance to drive before. It made sense to make sure that she could drive and to train her in case she ever needs to utilize a vehicle on patrol.” Damian reasons. And yeah, the reasons are sound. But the Batmobile slowly sinking into the river kind of makes his reasons weak. Just a bit. 

“And driving into the river was, what, to see if she could drive a boat?” Jason asks, crossing his arms. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Hood. That’s a car.” She says, the words tumbling out of her mouth. She regrets it, but only for a second because then she hears Damian snort. Score! Every time she was able to make her angriest brother laugh, she gave herself a point. She was so close to double digits.

“Well B’s gonna be ready to go on patrol in less than an hour. Either of you two geniuses have any ideas on how to get the car out of the river and back to the cave?” Jason asks, pulling Marinette from her silent celebration. 

“We could call a tow truck.” She suggests. 

“Tt. That is unwise. The Batmobile is not a regular car.” Damian argues and she huffs. 

“Okay well, last I checked you didn’t have any bright ideas either.” She quips, annoyed with him again. They were good at that. Laughing one minute, then annoying each other the next. She figured it just meant they were doing something right as siblings. 

“Ladybird might actually have a good idea, Robin. Unless you want to call Superman here and have him rat you out to B.” Jason says. A devious smirk stretches onto Damian’s face and Marinette suppresses a shudder. She was definitely glad the kid was on her side. Most of the time, anyway. 

“Excellent point, Hood.” He says, clearing his throat slightly before yelling. Well, not really yelling. Just talking slightly louder than normal. “Jon. I require your assistance.” A few moments later a boy flies down and lands in front of Damian. If she didn’t know any better, Marinette would assume the boy was another of her dad’s kids. Dark hair, blue eyes. But this kid had a huge smile stretched across his face. So maybe not. 

“Hey Robin! I haven’t seen you in ages!” The boy says cheerfully before waving at Red Hood. He turns to her and his smile falters slightly before it’s back full blast. He sticks out his hand. “Nice to meet you! I’m Superboy.” He says. Marinette grins, shaking his hand back. 

“Ladybird, and likewise.” She says. 

“So what-” Jon (Superboy?) starts, glancing at the river, eyes widening at the car. “Did you steal the Batmobile again!?” He yelps, obviously shocked. And concerned. Which she understood. It’s not everyday you see the Batmobile slowly sinking into the Gotham river. 

“Er, temporarily misappropriated.” Marinette says, glaring at Jason who snorts at her response. 

“No, they definitely stole it. And Ladybird here decided she’d try to drive for the first time. What I’m not understanding is why you knuckleheads thought it’d be smart to drive so close to the river?” He says. 

“Obviously I wasn’t thinking clearly, Hood. Can we please just focus on getting the car out of the river before I’m murdered by Batman?” Marinette rambles, looking pleadingly at Jon. It was odd, begging a little kid to drag her superhero dad’s super car out of a river, but it had to be done. 

“Oh, yeah, of course!” Jon says, his earlier shock replaced with a wide smile once again. He flies over and grabs the car, gently pulling it up and placing it back on the road. Marinette winces at the water pouring out of the car. She was so grounded. 

---

Walking into the Batcave, Bruce frowns at the lack of Batmobile. He’d passed Tim and Dick on his way to the Cave, so he knew they didn’t have it. Which left his two most mischievous sons and the daughter they had so easily corrupted. Hopefully they were just getting fast food or something again. Hopefully nothing bad was happening. He winces. That was unlikely with his children. He rushes over to the computer, tracking the Batmobile and accessing the cameras near the car. The image in front of him makes him pinch the bridge of his nose and grit his teeth. 

“Just one day, one day is all I ask.” He mumbles under his breath. Because of course traffic cameras would catch Superboy lifting the Batmobile out of the river. Of course. He sits in his chair and watches as the kids argue for a few minutes before getting in the car and driving off. He tracks them all the way until they’re past cameras, and then he waits. Knowing it’ll only be moments until they’re in the Cave. He sits, silent as they get out of the car. 

“No, seriously, he’s gonna know.” Marinette is saying, obviously looking nervous. 

“Then beg Tikki to take all the water out or something. It’ll be fine, Pix.” Jason says. 

“She’s gonna be so mad at me though. She warned me that it was a bad idea.” Marinette says, and Bruce decides to speak up. 

“She was right.” He says, turning his chair to face them. 

“SHIT! Goddamn you Bruce, why the hell would you sneak up on us like that?” Jason huffs out, glaring at him. 

“Perhaps it’s the same reason that you three thought it was a good idea to steal the Batmobile.” Bruce says, crossing his arms. 

“Uh, fuck that. I wasn’t in on it. I went out to try and find the little shits when I realized they were gone.” Jason argues, crossing his arms too. 

“Ukht had never driven before. I believed it was a useful skill that she could utilize on future missions or patrols.” Damian says simply, his calm demeanor the complete opposite of Marinette’s current demeanor. She’s obviously panicked and anxious, avoiding looking at him. He feels his former resolve soften slightly. No one was hurt, they obviously felt bad. And Marinette obviously felt bad about it. But still….

“You’re benched for the night. Both of you.” He instructs. Damian grits his teeth but nods, while Marinette looks confused. 

“But I’m not even-” She starts to say, stopping as Jason throws a hand over her mouth. “Well, well, look at the time. I’ll take them upstairs and tuck ‘em in before patrol.” Jason says, rushing away with Marinette and leaving Damian behind. Damian turns to Bruce and frowns. 

“It did not go unnoticed by me, Father, that you benched the one child you do not allow to patrol. You may have done this in an attempt to not punish Marinette, but make no mistake she will remember this. And she will be on patrol later this week. After all, you only benched her for tonight.” Damian says, nodding at his father before walking away. Bruce sighs. He hadn’t thought this one through.

---

“What was that for?” Marinette asks, frowning at her brother as he drags her to the house. She drops her transformation as they walk, wincing slightly at the ‘we’ll talk later’ look from Tikki. Oh yeah, she was definitely getting lectured. 

“He just benched you for tonight, right?” Jason asks, a smirk on his face. Marinette huffs. 

“Yeah, but I’m not even technically allowed on patrols.” She reminds him. 

“Except now, you’re technically allowed to come tomorrow. He said you were ‘benched for the night’.” Jason points out. Marinette opens her mouth to argue, then closes it. She blinks before a wide smile stretches across her face. Was she really gonna get to go back on patrol on a technicality? Suddenly, she no longer regretted driving the Batmobile into the river.

Next

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[sirenascales]

-> double black [part two] 18+

-> Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai

-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?

-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing

A failed friend date turns into a day of fun and laughs with a rather odd coworker. [Dazai x 1stPOV!F!Reader]

3,274 words

Warning: suicide ideation (like, it's Dazai, c'mon now.)

note: I'm glad some of ya'll seemed to enjoy chuuya's chapter! I decided to just upload Dazai's and then we can move on to the story. Please enjoy! Tags in the replies.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || masterlist

"Keiko-- Keiko, it's two PM!" I said into the phone, sending an apologetic look to my coworkers. "And I'm at work. You can't be calling me, especially when you're drunk so early in the day."

"Uggghhhh, you're so mean!" I sighed softly at Keiko's response, the office phone on my desk beginning to ring.

"Keiko, I have to go now, I'm sorry! Call Taichi and tell him to bring you home."

"Wait-"

I ended the call, rubbing my eyebrows as I picked up the other phone. "Armed Detective Agency, how may I help you?"

It's been around three months since I've started working at the Agency, and I have to say, it was a pretty great job. It paid well, kept me on my toes with the many different cases we took on, and my coworkers were great... despite how weird they were.

"That's like the seventh time your friend called you this week," Ranpo spoke up from his desk, the man literally surrounded by snack wrappers.

I sighed deeply, rubbing my eyebrows. "I know, I'm sorry everyone. She's not usually like this... I know she likes to drink, but... never to this extent."

"Maybe there is something going on?" the cute Atsushi suggested and I frowned. "Maybe you can try to find out?"

"It wouldn’t be wise to just push yourself into someone's private life like that," Kunikida added and I nodded in agreement.

Of course I couldn't. Not with who her boyfriend was. I was her best friend, but even I knew not to step in. "Besides, she always says she's okay when I ask..." I said thoughtfully, too distracted to continue my work. I could believe her, right? Besides, she had Taichi. He loved her, and always made sure that she was protected and taken care of. He always made sure to be around her when he wasn't away, keeping her to his side at all times. I thought maybe he was being a bit too protective, but I also understood because of his... profession.

"Alright, alright, we have a schedule, people. Let's not get too distracted here," Kunikida exclaimed and I laughed softly. The only one with a schedule was the super punctual man himself, but I still went on to do my work.

"Speaking of work..." I started, unimpressed as I Iooked to the empty desk across the office. "Where the hell is Dazai?"

Atsushi just hung his head and sighed, Kunikida gritting his teeth at his desk. "I tried calling him but he wouldn't pick up," Atsushi sighed again and I huffed, standing up from my desk. "I'll take my 30 now. I'll be in the cafe and I'll try to get Dazai to bring his scrawny ass to work."

The Agency was on the fourth floor of the building while the cafe was down on the first, very convenient for me. I was lazy and the coffee and food was good. I dialed up Dazai's number as I descended the four flights of stairs, pressing my phone to my ear.

At the top of one flight, I stopped when I heard a familiar ring tone blare out, and when I looked down to the bottom of the stairs, I saw the man of the hour. His brown hair was wavy as ever, his signature tanned jacket looking immaculate. I watched as he just looked at his phone, watching it ring before he put his phone in his pocket.

I hated him. "So you were just gonna ignore me?!" I shouted down the stairs. Dazai whipped his head up, eyes going comically wide.

"Bella!" he exclaimed, practically running up the stairs right towards me. I gasped and back away quickly, back hitting the wall as Dazai caged me between his bandaged arms. His forehead pressed against mine and I will my face not to burn as he looked at me with those pretty brown eyes of his. "I missed you."

My heart skipped a beat, my mouth going dry. Still, I glared up at the man. "We just saw each other yesterday," I gritted my teeth, trying to ignore the feeling of his soft breath against my face. I was thankful my voice didn't crack. "And you have plenty of paperwork to do still on your desk."

"Ehhh, I'm tired and I'm busy," Dazai nonchalantly waved that off, now standing away from me and waving his hand dismissively. "Got better things to do."

I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest. "Yeah? Like what?"

With that, Dazai took my hands in his, a hopeful look on his face. Here we go again. "Double suicide."

"No." I immediately declined him. "My answer is still the same as it was last week."

Dazai visibly deflated, covering his eyes dramatically. "Sweet death... she evades me yet again..."

"Yeah," I deadpanned, brushing past Dazai and heading down the stairs. "Anyway. I'm heading to the cafe to get something to eat."

"Oh!" Dazai exclaimed, hooking my arm with his as he quickly came up to my side. "I'll go with you!"

"You have work to do!" I yelled at him, trying to push him back up the stairs. "Go before Kunikida has an aneurysm."

"But I don't wanna!" Dazai whined, quickly turning the tables on me. Now he was behind me, his arms wrapped around me and pinning my arms to my chest. I felt his breath against my left ear and I shivered deeply. "I wanna spend time with you..." he whispered softly, his voice dropping. I bit my bottom lip, looking over at him over my shoulder. I shivered again, the usual brightness in his eyes gone. I've only seen that look on his face a handful of times, and it never failed to make me feel completely on edge. Like I was in danger.

I liked it.

"Ugh," I sneered, rolling my eyes and shaking myself out of his arms. "Fine, fine. I'll treat today, okay?"

"Yay!" Dazai's jovial nature returned as he followed me to the cafe. I shake my head at the strange duality of the man. We sat across from each other, the redheaded waitress named Lucy that obviously had a crush on Atsushi giving us some menus.

As I looked over the menu, I looked over at Dazai, the man humming as he mulled over his choices. I bit the inside of my cheek, just feeling that maybe there was more to Dazai than he let on.

The weekend soon arrived and I was in a bit of a sour mood. I was at the boardwalk, sitting on an empty bench after getting off the phone with Keiko. We were supposed to spend the day together, but she had called me thirty-minutes late, all of a sudden saying that she couldn't make it.

Her tone of voice worried me, she sounded rushed and breathless, totally unlike her. "I'm okay. I'm sorry for flaking out so suddenly," she said before she ended the call. I blinked at the screen, a bit put off by the entire thing. Just what was up with her?

Though I couldn't dwell on it, for there was a presence behind me. "Well, well, look what we have here," a teasing voice whispered into my ear before blowing into it. I shrieked, jumping off the bench before spinning around.

"Dazai!" I hissed at the laughing man standing on the other side of the bench. "You scared the crap out of me!"

"Bet it got your heart pumping, huh," Dazai hummed happily, skipping around the bench and right over to me. "Bella, I missed you~" he hugged me tightly in his arms. I sighed deeply, half-heartedly wrapping my arms around him in return and giving him a pat on the back.

"We saw each other yesterday."

"Eighteen hours is too long, bella."

I rolled my eyes, pulling away from the huge and giving Dazai a look. "You're so dramatic, dude," I say with a laugh, shaking my head. "What are you doing here?"

"Hmm, well I thought this would be a great place to think about how to commit suicide," Dazai began and I gave him another look. "But, I saw my bella looking so sad and lonely! I just had to rush to comfort her!"

Dazai hugged me again, squeezing me tight. I let out a struggling breath, writhing a bit in his hold. "You're killing me!"

"Oh! Let's commit do-"

"No, oh my God!"

I turned and stormed away from the suicidal man, shaking my head when I heard him call out for me. "Bella, wait!" He latched onto my arm, pressing his cheek against mine. "Tell me what's wrong. I am your trusted friend and coworker~"

"More like trusted pain in my ass," I mumbled before sighing, walking over to the boardwalk railing and staring out into the ocean. "It's Keiko. She was supposed to be with me today, but she just called and canceled..." I frowned deeply, eyebrows pinched in worry.

"What else did she say?" Dazai asked quietly, having gone serious once he saw the look in my face. "How did she seem?"

"Off..." I answered immediately before I looked over at my companion. "Or am I just imagining things? Yeah, I'm disappointed she flaked out but...." I hung my head. "I don't know..."

"Well, it could be nothing," Dazai suggested. "Or it could be something. There's no way for you to know."

I made a face at his vague ass answer before sighing again. "I can only trust her. She was the first friend I made when I moved to Japan, and I was excited to see her today. I've been having a rough time lately."

"Is something bothering you?" Dazai asked, and I shivered feeling his gaze on me.

"Eh... just depressed," I answered offhandedly. "Lonely. Normal sad girl shit, ya know."

That made Dazai snicker under his breath. "Yeah, I know. But luckily for you," Dazai started, arm draping around my shoulders and pulling me to him. "I'm here to save the day!"

I couldn't help it, I laughed before I wrapped my arm around his middle, letting him hold me against him. "You'll hang out with me today?"

Dazai grinned. "It would be my pleasure."

Time flew by so quickly, that I was surprised to look at my phone and see that it was damn near seven in the evening. Gaping, I looked up, seeing that the sky was slowly turning dark. "Holy crap, Dazai. Did we really spend the whole day out here?" I asked in shock, looking over at him. "What the hell did we do?!"

"What didn't we do," Dazai whined, slumping against me. "I'm tired... and you still wanna ride the stupid ferris wheel!"

"It's not stupid," I said with a pout. "Besides... we're already in line."

"Meh," Dazai grumbled, still keeping his body pressed against me as we waited in line. He was behind me, his chin pressed on my shoulder. I tried not to shiver as I felt his breath along my neck.

Soon enough, we were in our carriage and slowly riding up to the top. I took a few pictures as we did so, Dazai looking over in amazement.

"You think the drop from up here would kill me?"

"Yeah, and would scar everyone here."

"Oh yeah... can't have that."

I rolled my eyes, glancing over at him and pausing for a bit. Dazai was still looking out over Yokohama, an expression I've never seen before on his face. He almost looked... sad. Very handsome, his side profile absolutely perfect. But he still looked sad. I took a quick picture, smiling as I looked over it on my phone.

The carriage stopped and I couldn't help but grin as we just swayed softly up in the air. "Thanks for spending the day with me, Dazai. It would have sucked if I had spent it alone."

"Ahh, don't sweat it, bella. I couldn't possibly leave you out here alone," Dazai answered dramatically and I laughed and rolled my eyes. 

I felt a vibration in my pocket and I grabbed my phone, smiling at the cute selfie that Keiko sent to me.

'I'm so sorry for bailing! I'll make it up to you, I promise! ❤ mwuah'

"Is that Keiko?" Dazai asked and I nodded, sending her a quick reply.

"Yeah. She seems to be doing okay," I said, feeling a bit relieved.

"That's great!" Dazai exclaimed, getting up from his spot and carefully making his way to sit beside me, much to my horror.

"Dazai! We're not supposed to move around!"

"We're fine!" he waved me off dismissively. "Now you can stop worrying about Keiko and focus on what's important. Me."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "You?"

Dazai hummed. "Yes, me. And how I'm taking you home tonight."

My jaw drops, face heating up at his words. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Dazai answered, his voice dropping a bit as his gaze and entire mood changed. His gaze was darker now, his lips curled up in an almost dangerous smirk. "I think it's time we stop tiptoeing around each other and just take what we really want."

My mouth went dry and I quickly became flustered, turning my head away. Immediately, a hand is grabbing my face, Dazai digging his fingers into my cheeks as he forces me to look back at him.

"Nuh uh, you look at me when I'm speaking."

His authoritative tone makes me freeze, heart pounding in my chest as I stared at Dazai, completely bewildered. I knew there was something more about him than he had let on, and whatever it was, had me in fight or flight mode.

"Now, when we're done here, we're gonna leave and head back to my place, okay?" he asked me, but his tone made it seem like it wasn't a request, and it sure as hell didn't match the seemingly innocent smile on his face; not when it didn't reach his eyes.

I nodded, Dazai removing his hand from my face. His smile sent shivers down my spine.

"Good."

"Mmn... fuck, Dazai..." I moaned and gasped softly, the man on top of me littering my neck with angry red and purple marks, two of his fingers working inside my pussy. I was completely naked on his bed, Dazai only in his underwear-- and his bandages still wrapped around his arms and chest.

"Hey, what did I tell you?" Dazai whispered against my neck, curling his fingers and smirking when I cried out. "Call me Osamu. Don't make me tell you again."

I frantically nodded my head, crying out again as he sped up the pace of his fingers, his mouth moving down to my chest. "F-fuck, Osamu!"

"That's it," he whispered, taking one of my hardened nipples into his mouth. My fingers curled into his soft brown hair, head tilting back and eyes screwing shut as Dazai continued to pleasure my body.

It wasn't long until he pushed his hard cock into my wet pussy, the both of us groaning at the feeling of us finally connecting. I was on my knees and elbows, pillow placed under my hips. Dazai started out slowly, biting his lip as he watched his dick disappear inside of me.

"Fuck... I'm gonna burn this sight into my memory," Dazai groaned, making me whine as I shook my head.

"D-don't stare like that..."

Dazai chuckled softly, his hands grabbing my hips as he started to move faster, thrusting harder. I moaned and whined, it seemed to be the only thing I could do while Dazai fucked the shit outta me. "Osamu... please..."

My whining made the man above me grin widely, his thrusts becoming rougher, almost wild as he suddenly reached out and grabbed a handful off my hair. I yelped when he yanked me up, my back now pressed against his chest and his other hand wrapped around my throat.

"What is it, bella?" he hissed into my ear, pounding away at my pussy and making me cry out again. God, it was too much all at once. "What does my pretty little subordinate want?"

I whined. "I want to cum... please Osamu..."

He cackled, pushing me back on the bed, grabbing my hips so hard, I knew I was gonna bruise. "Cum then," he hissed down at me, pushing my face into the mattress. He fucked me relentlessly, fingers finding my clit and rubbing harsh circles. That made my vision go white, my scream muffled as I came hard, body going rigid as pleasure overtook my body.

"Shit, you're squeezing me so tight," Dazai grunted. He pulled out, ignoring my whines as he stepped off the bed. "Get on your back."

I barely rolled over halfway until there was a strong grip on my ankle, my body being pulled down the length of the bed. Dazai stood at the end, wasting no time in pushing my legs back by the back of my knees, and plunging his cock back into me.

I looked up at him through teary eyes, and I knew I should have been afraid of the mad look that was in his eyes, the way his lips were curled up in a snarl. But it just made my pussy clench around him in arousal, eyes rolling to the back of my head.

I came a second time as he did his first, and much to my ultimate pleasure, we weren't finished there. We pleasured each other through the night, until we wore each other out and fell asleep entangled in the sheets.

I woke up the next morning, groaning in pain as I felt my body ache. I forced myself to sit up, looking around blearily and humming softly when I found Dazai sitting on the edge of the bed, his bare back to me.

"Good morning," he sang to me and I giggled softly, carefully moving to kneel behind him. The blankets fell from around me and I pressed my bare chest against his back. "Hm, that's nice."

"Morning," I said softly, peeking over his shoulder. "What are you do-"

I stop, staring as Dazai wrapped seemingly clean bandages on his heavily scarred left arm. I swallowed thickly, my mind running at what could have possibly been the cause of those scars.

But deep down, I knew that the cause was Dazai himself.

"Do... Do you have enough?" I asked softly, not knowing what else to even say. I didn't want to pry or seem insensitive, just having to get over this metaphorical punch in the gut myself.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" Dazai answered, turning to face me with a cheery smile on his face. In a matter of seconds, I was flat on my back, Dazai on top of me with his lips pressed against mine. It was easy for him to make me forget about what I saw, his kisses stealing my breath away.

"I have to go," he said softly, pushing himself off me after a moment.

I nodded solemnly, watching him continue to get dressed. "Alright. See you at work tomorrow?"

He smirked at me. "You know the answer to that."

I rolled my eyes again, just as my phone started to ring. I grabbed it, sending Dazai a quick smile before answering the call.

"Hey Keiko, guess who got fucking laid." That made Dazai snort while I grinned, though my grin fell as I didn't hear Keiko go off like I thought she would. "Keiko?" I shared a look with Dazai.

"Hey... I need you. Can I come over?"

[naoyas90dayfiance]

In which reality TV shows could the JJK characters be in?

Warning: this is canon, gege told me.

Characters: all I think

Author's note: this is messy.

Naoya Zenin: 90 day fiance.

• Naoya is reality TV gold.

•He's going to ask his "s/o" to walk three steps behind him on international TV.

•His s/o is an actress he hired because he wanted to be on TV and show how superior the Zenin clan is.

•Appears on every spin off.

•Eventually is the new face of Sister Wives.

Gojo Satoru: Love after Lockup

• In real life this man has been to prison CHANGE MY MIND.

• He spent his teenage years in prison for plotting and succeding on stealing money from big banks worldwide.

• Has been to Alcatraz twice.

• Ofc he got a s/o while being in prison. He put on his photo online and people went WILD.

• When he got out he met up with his s/o, acted all nice, charming and cute.

• Fan favorite because he's so wholesome and people wonder why he is on the show. He seems like a regular or even above average guy.

•In the final episode he disappeared and his s/o got swatted. The reason was that Satoru actually stole info and money from the Pentagon using his s/o's IP address.

• Satoru is on the run, please contact authorities if seen.

Geto Suguru: Love after Lockup

• It's canon basically, but i will explain for u.

• Terrorism. Mass murder. And a DIU for good measure.

• Sentence longer and thicker than his D- hair.

• Alpha male in Alcatraz.

• He's not allowed to leave the prison. You two only exchange letters.

• Add hearts when he signs his letters.

• Man so alpha he sends YOU money.

• You two got married somehow.

• Has a tatto on his lip (that says Satoru).

Fushiguro Toji: Gypsy Sisters

• yes, he's the main star.

• He likes the job. He beats up the crap out of his brothers, his uncles, his little cousins, his servants, other clans and even Satoru when he crossed paths with him.

• If you tune TLC at 2AM on Saturdays you can see the episode where he beats the shit out of Naoya.

• His show gets 12 seasons and it's still on-going.

• Sometimes you can see Megumi in the background chilling with his phone.

• Idk why but he got into a fist fight with Yuuji. Sukuna had to step in. The twins got beaten and sent to the hospital.

Mei Mei: Owner

• Owns TLC.

Shoko Ieri: My Strange Addiction

• She collects Furbies.

• One looks very much like Satoru.

• She's on the FBI Suspect list.

• She might have helped Satoru, idk, i'm not a snitch.

Nanami Kento: Beat Bobby Flay

• The challenge was to make the best sanwhich.

• He didn't beat Bobby Flay.

• Also on FBI Suspect list.

• They think he helped Gojo rob the Pentagon.

• he did.

• shhh.

Fushiguro Megumi: Ghosted

• He ghosted Yuuji.

• But Yuuji wants to know why.

• In the reunion, Megumi tells Yuuji he ghosted him because he was snapchatting him too much

• They ended up together again.

• Barely speaks. Doesn't want to be there. Still think the extra cash is nice but he's now worried he might not get a job because he humillated himself publicly.

Yuuji Itadori: Ninja Warrior.

• He won.

Ryomen Sukuna: Catfish.

• He used Uraume's photos.

• He catfished Ijichi.

• He got money from Ijichi.

• He got gifts from Ijichi.

• He got money from Jogo.

• He got gifts from Jogo.

• Nev and Max first thought it was Hanami who was doing the catfish.

• Never got caught.

Kugasaki Nobara: 90 day fiance.

• She met someone overseas.

• Only interested in tourism and doesn't plan to follow through the 90 days.

• Only there for IG followers.

• She's already dating Maki behind the scenes.

• High key the cutest participant on the show ever

Zenin Maki: Ninja Warrior

• She won c:

Panda: NatGeo's Wild Life.

• I saw him there last week.

Inumaki Toge: The Bachelorette.

• He pranks everybody.

• The lady thinks he's the sweetest and funniest.

• The dudes hate him.

• He doesn't get the final rose.

• He gets a bunch of attention after the show and becomes more famous than the lady.

• fuck her. Now he's rich.

Aoi Todou: My Strange Addiction.

• For collecting way too much of Takada-chan's merch.

• He needed another HOUSE to fix so much sh1t.

Kamo Noritoshi, Choso, Miwa, Momo: an educational channel for kids.

• They have an educational channel together.

• Noritoshi hosts a show teaching about science.

• Choso's show is about values and the importance of family and friendship.

• Miwa has numerous shorts about physical education.

• Momo has a show about crafting.

• Comfort channel c':

Mai Zenin: Married by Mom and Dad.

• They stepped in so Naoya won't take her as a wife xd.

• They married her to a wealthy man overseas.

• Proceeds to become part of Housewives of Beverly Hills.

• Living her best life.

Yoshino Junpei: True Crime Show Host.

• He enjoys to report the weird shit that happened to his bullies afterwards.

• Good for him. Good for him.

Mahito: Investigation Discovery Special

• They made a whole 4 hour documentary about this bitch.

Okkotsu Yuuta: Love after Lockup

•He's dating Rika.

• She was convicting for 10 accounts of first degree murder, vandalism, armed robbery, selling illegal substances, exotic animal trafficking, and car theft.

• He says she's the love of his life.

[noodyl-blasstal]

@blupjeansweek day 3: Moon/Sun

Read on A03 or below: 

Lup stared into the over-bright light of her phone as the clock ticked over to 00:00. It was officially the final day of their site trip to monitor the biodiversity of the McElroy River, and Lup was exhausted. Not because of the extensive hiking, the added difficulty of wading up-stream with heavy gear to check the river traps, or the crap rations the University had packed them off with, no, because of Barold. J. Bluejeans.

Lup hadn’t been sleeping. Barry had made sure of that. He was an evil genius. Sure, she had been the one to suggest that really they only needed one tent, that bringing two was a waste of space and carrying capacity. Sure, she had absolutely done that with the intention of getting to spend more time with him. Sure, she had anticipated maybe sleeping slightly less, wink wink. But not like this. Barry absolutely had to know what he did to her, there was no way he was over there in his stupid denim effect sleep shorts with his stupid shapely forearms and his stupid perfect arse not knowing what he was doing.

She had obviously made a move. Proposing to share a tent for practical reasons on a work trip was obviously a move. There was no way anyone could interpret it any differently. Lup let out a small noise of frustration and flopped herself round so she didn’t have to look at his beautiful face any more. It was stupidly hot, which was part of why she was in this mess in the first place - if Barold could just keep his ridiculous body inside the sleeping bag maybe she wouldn’t want to stare at it so much?

Lup had no idea how things had gotten to this point. She’d been after this guy for years, YEARS. They worked together, they spent most of their free time together, he was invited to all the family events, they were LupandBarry, BarryandLup, but they just couldn’t seem to take the step into getting to kiss about it. How much more blatant could she be? She’d dressed nicely for him, invited him to events, sometimes she even put her hand close to his so he’d barely have to move his fingers at all to be touching hers. What more could a girl do? Lup had to talk to someone about this, she was fully out of ideas, and she was absolutely going to explode.

Lup: 00:03

Taako, I know you’re up, you have to help me. I’m going to die

Ko: 00:03

Is this an actual emergency or is this Barold related again?

Lup: 00:04

It’s an actual emergency… it’s just also Barold related.

The three dots flashed indicating that Taako was typing. Then stopped. They appeared again. Then stopped once more.

Ko: 00:07

Fine. Go on.

Lup: 00:07

I don’t know what more I can do to show him I like him?

Ko: 00:08

I’m going to murder you Lulu. Fully to death.

00:09

You are both nightmare people. I need you to know that.

00:10

But I’m going to give you this one anyway. I know you think you’re being obvious but Lulu, you are not. Please, I am begging you, literally begging you, just tell him. Use your actual words, and actually tell Barold that you are in love with him, and then you can get on with being somehow both more and less disgusting than you currently are.

Lup: 00:11

Ko! I absolutely cannot do that. What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if it completely ruins everything? We work together! We’re writing a paper together! I absolutely need that publication to meet my quota with the university.

00:12

Wait! What do you mean both nightmare people?

00:13

Ko?

00:18

Taako! I know you’re there. What do you mean? Has Barold said something?

00:19

Look, we can’t all get literally picked up by the perfect man at the circus.

00:22

Taako! You have to tell me. You legally have to, it’s twin rules, the sibling police are on their way.

00:24

I hate you.

Ko: 00:25

No you don’t, you love me and I love you too. The only reason Krav and I got together was because I used my words. Now stop messaging me and tell him about how much you want to bone him instead!

Lup spent the next two hours staring resolutely at the canvas of the tent wall and refusing to think about the soft breathing behind her and how nice it would feel if those arms were draped over her waist, that breathing in her ear, her hands in his hair, running up his back. NOPE. Just normal professional thoughts about a friend and colleague. VERY NORMAL THOUGHTS.

________________________________________________________

Barry woke up early in the morning. He was surprised he’d slept at all to be honest, but really he was absolutely exhausted from the extensive hiking, wading up-stream with heavy gear to check river traps, and the crap rations the University had packed them off with. But now he was awake and he was so close to Lup. Why on earth did he agree to share a tent? Well. He knew why he agreed to share a tent. Because he was absolutely incapable of logical thinking when it came to spending time with Lup, and he was obviously never going to pass up a chance to spend the night next to her. But logically, he knew it would be torture.

So now it was, he checked his watch, 3am. He sighed, and lowered his wrist. Lup’s elbow was, for some reason, resting on his head and he wasn’t even grumpy about it, just grateful for the contact. Gods he had it bad. He turned carefully onto his back, trying not to wake her, but accidentally jostling her slightly. Lup muttered something and, to his absolute delight, fully extended her arm around the back of his head.

Lup had her arm round him. Lup’s arm was round him and they were sleeping next to each other and this was definitely probably a crime. Could someone arrest him for this? He didn’t make her do it! …But he was enjoying it. Fuck. HR were going to get involved weren’t they?

The moonlight filtering into the tent softly illuminated Lup, he glanced sideways. She was splayed out, limbs everywhere, taking up the majority of the floor space. He couldn’t even pretend to be angry about it. She looked adorable and her tiny sleepy grumbles weren’t doing anything to detract from that, but he couldn’t stay here. All he wanted to do was stay here and put his arms around her in return, and maybe stroke her hair while she slept, but he absolutely wouldn’t cross a line like that.

Barry had decided this trip was the perfect time to finally tell her how he felt, just get it out there and start looking for another job if he needed to. Lup had been so quick to suggest they shared a tent, and as good as she usually was at lying to University administration, the excuse about saving space didn’t really make any sense because they were parked next to the tent and had a big van for the equipment. Barry had dared hope that maybe, just maybe, it meant something. He’d been giving out signs left right and centre though, and she hadn’t made a single move. He’d worn these denim print cotton pyjamas because he’d thought that maybe she’d been checking him out once when he had them on. He’d packed her favourite snacks for her on the drive up. Heck, on the first night he’d laid out a blanket under the stars and spent a good chunk of the evening star gazing with her. He didn’t know if he could be any more clear short of doing something ridiculous like actually just telling her he thought she was the best person in the world and he was in love with her.

Barry slowly eased open the zip of the tent, grabbing his sleeping bag and sidling out to ensure he didn’t disturb Lup further. He couldn’t resist a look back before he closed the door again, her hair was everywhere and she’d somehow already claimed his pillow. He wondered how on earth she’d managed to stay so contained the last few nights, maybe the sleeping bag had kept her in one place. He chuckled to himself and smiled fondly before closing the door and finding a spot to gaze at the sky and wait for morning. Barry doubted he’d be getting any more sleep tonight.

____________________________________________

Lup woke up confused, she’d definitely been facing the other way when she fell asleep, resolutely avoiding looking longingly at Barry’s sleeping form, but she couldn’t see him. She sat up, realising with a groan that she’d been drooling all over her pillow… actually, scratch that, Barry’s pillow. Fuck! She’d starfished, stolen the entire tent somehow, and he’d had to flee to get away from her. How had she screwed this up so monumentally?

The sleeping bag curled round her foot, so she half fell half ran into the tent door, still a bit dazed from the restless night. Lup took a deep breath, trying to steady herself mentally as well as physically, before unzipping the tent and peering out. Barry wasn’t far away, he was wearing his sleeping bag like a cape and she could see his head nodding now and again as if he was fighting off sleep. He looked beautiful, but she absolutely couldn’t think about that now. Poor Barry was stuck outside terrified because sleeping Lup couldn’t keep her hands to herself. Fuck! Was this going to lead to a meeting with HR?

Lup dived out of the tent and jogged towards him

“Barry? Gods, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realise I was taking up so much space! Are you okay? Please come back into the tent, I can sit outside. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m so sor…”

Barry cut her off, looking blearily up at her

“Lup, I’m tired”

Her face flashed with guilt

“Oh Barry, I’m sorry. I should never have suggested we shared”

He shook his head

“No, Lup, I’m tired.” He reached up and took her hand, and tugged gently at it. Lup opened her mouth, then closed it again. He looked so sleepy and tousled and she wanted to run her fingers through his hair and pepper his face with little kisses. He smiled up at her, tugged again, and she folded herself down next to him, her leg brushing against his thigh.

Barry looked at her through bleary eyes, smiling to see her at eye level. He didn’t look upset or angry, he looked like a sleepy boy, a sleepy boy who was absolutely not letting go of her hand.

__________________________________________

Barry rarely did anything without panicking about it. There were at least two conversations happening in his head at all times, and most of them were about how he was making terrible mistakes. He was too tired for that right now though. Instead, he smiled happily at the beautiful elf next to him, slung his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in next to him, swooping his sleeping bag cape round them both.

“Lup?”

“Yeah Bear?”

“Let’s just watch the sun rise”

When Lup smiles back at him and lays her head on his shoulder, Barry just grins, resting his head on top of hers to watch the pinks and oranges begin to boil up on the horizon.

[equestrianwritingsstuff]

Ooh! I just discovered you from the Bad Things Happen Bingo and I love your writing already! Could I potentially request the Bleeding Out prompt as a prequel for the Soup for the Sick story you wrote?

Thank you for the ask! I had to look up prequel to make sure that you meant before the events of Personalized Caretaker Part 1, and not after 😂. Here you go! In reference to this post.

So, with that note, this piece happened before Part 1 of Personalized Caretaker.

Personalized Caretaker Part 2

Part 1

Warnings: blood, vomit, losing consciousness, faking an injury, drugged whumpee, fear, implied touch starvation

*not edited*

~

Civilian hopped onto her couch, legs resting on the armrest and flicked on the television, going straight for Netflix.

It was a normal day, serene and tranquil with the perfect amount of work that made Civilian feel good inside.

She lazily gnawed on a piece of beef jerky and selected The Kissing Booth for personal enjoyment. Something cheesy and romantic to vibe to as she decompressed- even the best days required a period of relaxation.

But, her period of relaxation was very rudely interrupted by a thud. Right outside her door.

Civilian froze, heart racing, as her mind involuntarily replayed every known horror movie. She was the victim, the bad guy was going to break in and slash her throat as she unceremoniously says, "Who's there?"

Civilian shuddered, turning off the television, and slowly standing up. She grabbed her remote control as a weapon and very, very slowly, like a ninja, stalked stealthily up to the door.

"Who's there?" Civilian asked. Crap, her fatal flaw. Now the bad guy was going to rush out and murder her, then the police would come and there would be ten more killings and then there would be a ghost that was a moaning lady with pale skin and black hair that was hung in the woods seventy-some years ago and then it is reincarnated to be a doll that haunts children and-

Civilian drew in a deep breath. Don't freak out, don't freak out. It was probably a bird that weighed the size of a man- a bad man- that crashed into the window and died. And died. And died. And died. It was gone. Instead of using a remote, she should be using a plastic bag.

"Stop it Civilian, you paranoid freak," she yelled at herself, very loudly, her voive taut with utter fear as she peered through the shades.

The first thing she saw was blood.

Smeared blood in the direction of downwards, leading directly to...

A body.

Civilian felt nausea rise in her throat as literally the blood drained from her face. She wasn't the first victim, the poor human in opening credits, she was the next victim and her house was the killer's stash.

Probably to blame her for the death. To redirect the suspicion.

She had to hide the body and burn it before the cops came. Oh boy, the killer probably already called them. Crap crap crap.

Civilian whisked the door open, tossing her grand weapon of plastic and onto a nearby table, and prepared to wrap the body in a black bag.

The body moved.

Civilian screamed.

The body was not a body, it was a living man.

"Oh my gosh sir? Sir! Are you okay? Sir! Sir!" Civilian grabbed her hair and started to paced. "This can't be happening. This can't be happening. There is a bleeding man on my fricking doorstep." She started to ramble, muttering nonsensical curses and words that weren't going to help the dying man.

She was panicking, completely hyperventilating, by the time the man moved more than a shaky, uneven breath.

His eyes opened, revealing a drop-dead gorgeous icy blue. Eyelashes fluttered in the most enearding way as the man struggled to keep his consciousness to himself. Lips quivered as he whole face bunched together in an expression of pain.

Civilian didn't know if she could handle it.

"Are you doing to die?" She asked, rushed and abruptly. The man looked his clouded gaze on her. It took a moment, but he spoke,

"Heroes. Heroes, they are coming. Run, get outta here. Get outta here!"

Civilian shrieked, glancing hurriedly around. An insane plot twist, the good guys were the bad guys and...

Wait, this wasn't a movie.

And why was this man so scared of the heroes? Unless, of course, he was...

A villain.

Civilian covered her mouth and dropped to her knees. A v-v-villain? Was at her door? Civilian pinched herself to see if she was sleeping, but the nightmare didn't vanish. She was stuck in reality. Someone go get her a soda...

Villain's eyelids drooped as he weakly extended his arm. "Please," he begged. "I need help." Then his arm went slack.

Civilian was close to hysterics.

But nonetheless, out of fear, she grabbed the man's arm and attempted to pull him inside. She silently cursed. Her twigs for limbs could barely carry a box of mason jars; what made her think she could drag a two hundred pound full-grown adult male?

It was a taxing project that left Civilian in tangled limps, just begging for sleep. The man didn't stir at all, not even when Civilian's fist went into the gaping wound in his stomach.

Aw man, that was disgusting. Civilian vomited into a nearby trashcan before returning to figure out WHAT THE HECK TO DO!!!

"Can you wake up?" Civilian asked. "Please? I-i... how do I... how do I do this?"

Civilian was on the verge of tears, but then she reminded herself. This isn't a movie, he won't be miraculously healed after a good night's sleep.

With a quick reference to Google, Civilian finally felt prepared. She ran to get a pillow and slipped it under Villain's head. His eyelids fluttered as his eyes cracked open, but then they slipped close again.

Next she removed his shirt and was quite awestruck at the sight. Other than the painted crimson, his abdomen really was the definition of ab-domen. Hard muscles were lined perfectly.

Okay Civilian, someone is dying, don't admire it.

She placed one hand above and the other in the wound to staunch the bleeding. After the blood flow slowed, she lifted his legs to rest on the armrests in a similar position that she was in earlier.

Next, she jumped some hydrogen peroxide in and bandaged the wound. The villain never awoke.

Once the looming danger was gone, Civilian just stood there awkwardly. Dried blood crusted on his skin, but at least it wasn't wet.

So she stood there, arms crossed as meaningless thoughts rushed through her head.

What do call a male ladybug?

Is grass the earth's hair?

Do pineapples come from pine trees?

Why is a villain on my couch?

Civilian sat down, keeping a good three feet distance from the assumed murderer, and turned on the TV to resume her movie.

She leaned her head back, exhaustion tugging at her eyelids, but she refused sleep. Especially when a villain was slumbering next to her with one arm over his face.

He looked like a monkey.

One of those pale faced, brown haired primates from Curious George.

Not that his ears were splayed out or anything, the monkey had very tiny, collected ears that hid under his fluffy brown hair. His nose also held that itty-bitty appearance, perfectly formed to his face with the faintest trace of freckles.

He was cute.

Like a monkey.

Or not, as Civilian found monkeys utterly disgusting.

So cute, like a kitten.

Civilian smiled, looking down at her lap. Another thing Wikihow said that Civilian scowled at and ignored before. Put the victim's head in your lap to calm and keep them comfortable.

It wouldn't hurt, right? The villain wasn't even conscious, and he lost so much blood that he probably wouldn't remember anything if he did wake up.

She just met him.

Stress can increase heart rate which may be detrimental. Civilian scrunched her forehead. Was that even true?

Who cares. Civilian scotted her skinny self over and laid the villain's head in her lap. Then, temptation started its charismatic monologue.

Stroke his head. Be nice, clean his chin. Wipe the dirt off his eye.

Civilian hesitantly put her hand on his grimey hair- ew, he needed a shower ASAP- and gingerly patted it. Patted it, like petting a dog.

It was embarrassingly awkward.

For the next few hours, Villain slept. Civilian also dozed off between getting yummy smelling candles to fend off the revolting scent od blood and crackers to aimlessly gnaw on.

She watched through the first Kissing Booth and the second one when a thought struck her.

Pain.

The villain would be in pain when he woke up.

And the only thing Civilian had was Ibuprofen.

Like those barely took the edge off a headache, much less a gash the size of a baseball.

She reached for her phone to call her friend at the local drug store. Putting on a squeaky voice, Civilian said,

"Can you, uh, get me something for pain?"

"Slow down, Civilian. What?"

"I don't know benadryl or a very strong pain reliever," Civilian bit her lip, squeezing her eyes shut. Stupid stupid stupid...

"What did you do?"

"I, uh, sprained my ankle."

"You sprained your ankle?"

"Mhm hurts like-"

"Okay! I don't need your swear word dictionary. I'll bring you something after work."

"Thanks, oh owowowowowowo."

"Goodbye Civilian."

The line clicked.

Civilian smiled to herself and popped another cracker in her mouth. Problem solved.

The blood on the door.

Crap.

Civilian set Villain's head back on a pillow and ran to the frontdoor.

Great, just great.

Civilian flipped the middle finger at Villain's sleeping figure and walked out the door. She would meet her friend before she saw the splatters of blood.

Civilian sat herself on the curb, throwing her newly "spraind" leg out, letting out an insanely loud groan, and leaned back on her elbows.

"Oh my goodness! Civilian," her friend leaped from her black car and ran over. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," Civilian waved it off. "Just wanted some air and the house is a mess, so."

Civilian, you are dumb.

"You sure? You asked to be hospitalized once because you stubbed your toe and the fact that a sprained ankle isn't bugging you... I am wholeheartedly worried."

"Don't be," Civilian chuckled. "How was work?"

Friend gave her a skeptical look. "Fine," she drawled.

"Good," Civilian nodded slowly, tapping the ground with her fingers. "So thank you for the painkillers."

"Mhm," Friend handed Civilian the plastic bag slowly. "How did you sprain it?"

"Uhhh fell out of the shower."

Friend looked genuinely concerned.

"Tripped and fell," Civilian repeated herself awkwardly. "On the ground?" Why did she have to say it as a question?

She was awkward and sounded hilariously awkward as well.

"Klutz," Friend joked, but her face was still taut with worry. "Need help getting inside?"

"No no!" Civilian exclaimed. Friend stepped back, so Civilian laughed to alleviate the tension. "I should walk it out."

"Ooookay," Friend said, nodding. "Good for you. I'm gonna go. I have a dinner date with this dude from Tinder."

"Oooo good luck," Civilian said, faking a wince as she stood up. Friend rushed in to help.

"Don't," Civilian cautioned, raising her "hurt" leg up. Friend looked at it and scowled.

"Dang leg huh? Well bye-bye. Don't fall out of the shower anymore. Got it?"

"Yup," Civilian said and fake limped back to her house as Friend sped away.

Missiom accomplished.

Villain was stirring when Civilian sat back down.

Perfect timing also.

She rummaged through the bag and grabbed a bottle of valium. She popped the recommended dosage out and approached Villain.

He was still too dazed and disoriented to stop Civilian from helping him swallow, but the second the water touched his tongue, he woke up fully.

"What are you doing? Don't touch me!" He yelled, pulling away. Civilian also backed away, a frown forming on her face.

"Me? I saved your life."

Villain was silent. "How much did you touch me?"

"Enough to save your life."

Villain jerked, looking around as if somone was in the shadows. Paranoid, Civilian copied him.

"What's wrong with you?" Civilian asked.

"You touched me?"

Civilian didn't say anything. She crossed her arms and shifted her weight to one leg, examining the villain.

Villain jerked to his feet, swaying madly. Civilian's heart jumped. He was so unsteady...

He fell, but Civilian swooped in to catch him.

For a moment, the villain melted into her half-embrace, head resting gently on her shoulder, before pulling away. He bit his cheeks, seemingly trying to keep tears back.

"What... are you? Are, are you scared of getting a hug? Sheesh."

"Mmm no," Villain shook his head quickly, then sat down as if the feat made him dizzy.

"Mmm yes," Civilian sat down next to him. The villain looked confused, but that may be the drugs kicking in.

Soon Villain's eyes starting to droop and he swayed in his sitting position.

"Whatdya give me?" He slurred, a faraway look in his eyes. "Mm tired." He collapsed forward.

Civilian steadied him and helped him lay back down. He groaned pathetically and grappled at Civilian's hand, desperate to hold it.

He held her hand until he fell asleep.

[cheelduh]

How to strike your way into someone’s heart (Highschool AU)

Part 2 to this. Can be read alone!

Pairing: Childe x fem!reader

Warnings: A lot of swearing I mean what do you expect they’re all teenagers. Lots of brick slapping. Childe clowns Scaramouche. OH YES this isn’t edited at all lmfao have fun.

Synopsis: It’s your big date with Childe after you lost the bet miserably. You decide to pay the occult club a visit in hopes of finding something that can...ease your concerns. Childe on the other hand has Signora give him a friendly piece of advice, believe it or not. 

Note: SRY THIS TOOK ME LIKE A MONTH

For as long as you can remember, you've never believed in ghosts, demons, or souls that lose their way in the endless void, forced to roam the earth in repentance.

Believing in the unknown takes creativity, adventure, maybe even a little sense of fear. Scratch that—a shitton of fear, because humans love to weave in their insecurities and inability to explain something into something of a phenomenon.

Bad luck lies in this category. Bad luck is simply a way to justify the catastrophe that one cannot admit they have fabricated themselves. Everyone wants a reason as to why shit hits the fan, and it can be anything but their own fault.

Bad luck is nothing but a load of bull to you. That's totally why you're standing outside the calculus classroom during lunch break, which happens to be the official meet spot for the occult club.

You raise a fist to knock, but then falter, thinking over your options once again. Is this what it has come to? Putting your faith into the weird kids that once tried to summon Schrödinger's cat for the physics final.

Fischl kicks the door wide open, a smirk playing at her lips once she spots you. "One cannot refrain from the song of your cogitation. The feline for which thou dwell on—"

A squeak leaves your throat and you flinch back, cutting her off. "You can read my mind?"

"Fischl," An icy eyed boy shows up from behind her and points a thumb back. "Mona needs your help."

Fischl squints at you for a brief moment, and then spins onto her heel to go back into the room.

The blue haired lower class man, Chongyun you guess, narrows his eyes at you. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Finally you manage to speak, palms all sweaty. "Yeah uh, I need your help. You know, with occulty things." You use your hands to articulate your thoughts, but ultimately give up.

You're not sure if it's pity towards your pathetic explanation or simply annoyance, but Chongyun widens the opening. He silently gestures for you to follow.

Stumbling on your feet and putting on your big girl pants, you hurry inside of the room, hoping you aren't seen by Beidou. She wouldn't let you hear the end of this.

The temperature instantly drops, and you have to adjust your sight to navigate. There's heavy incense in the air as well as a a few lighted candles from the dollar store, you guess.

Sitting smack dab in the middle of all the demonic markings is Mona, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Chongyun has made his way next to her, crossing his arms with a sigh, and Fischl is busy cooing at her bird.

"Well well well..." Mona's amused, eyes almost twinkling as she gets up from the poor desk that had to suffer the wrath of her ass. "If it isn't Y/N."

Mona is a glorified dick wiper in your books. One time, she partnered up with you in chemistry last year and refused to do any work because apparently her "star sign" said she was incompatible with science. You haven't forgiven her since.

"I need your help." You barely manage to choke out the words, reigning yourself in by clenching your fists instead. It'll be unethical to claw her face, especially since you're the one who's come to her.

"Oh?" She smiles wickedly, revelling in every moment of this no doubt. "Why would the high and mighty Y/N need help from the 'Whoroscope whore'?"

Fischl nearly slips out a laugh, trying with her upmost ability to refrain from rolling all over the floor.

You blink away your tears of almost-laughter, casually sliding in twenty mora across the table dividing you two. If she's a whoroscope whore like you say she is, she'll definitely put it in her bra.

Mona raises a brow, but her eyes linger on the bill for a second too much. "What makes you think I'll do it for money?"

"That's simple," You say, rolling your eyes. "When you see mora, you cling to it like a baby clings to a tit. Now just take it and solve my issues."

She fumes a litany of curses but snatches the money up anyways.

"What do you want?"

You breathe in, then out. "I need a talisman."

Mona raises a brow, hand on her hip. "I'm sorry. Did I get that right?"

How dare she. You will your eye into not twitching, the beginnings of fire thrumming through your veins, scalding hot. How dare she make me repeat myself.

"You know, the thing to fend off evil spirits," Your statement hangs heavy in the air as the cogs in their brains click into place. "I need one that can remove the most evilest thing times ten to the power of twenty five on this planet."

Everyone immediately thinks of Hu Tao.

Chongyun is the first to speak from an area of expertise, seemingly shocked at your words. "Are you sure you want a talisman that powerful? How bad is the evil spirit you've come across?"

You glance out the window, through the semi-open blinds. The apprehension curls in your stomach once you spot Childe chasing Aether with safety scissors, and you've never been more sure of than anything in your life.

Gulping, you turn back to the exorcist. "I'm 110% sure."

He doesn't ask any more questions and goes to fetch the talisman.

Mona clears her throat. "So I hear you have a date with Childe today. Quite the character you've taken to."

"Oh please," You hiss through your teeth, your blood pressure going up tenfold, "you're the one that told him our star signs were intertwined and that we're fated lovers."

She shrugs innocently, stance casual unlike your own that is ready to lunge an attack.

"Here you are," Chongyun hands you a talisman, a colourful mix of some charms, some kind of liquid in a bottle, and about a shitton of other things. "You'll need these if you're going to face the most demonic of all evils."

You think of Childe's stupidly handsome smirk, the playful life of his eyes, and how gentle and considerate he is with you. You think about how cruel he is to others, but how loving he can be to you.

"Oh, I will be."

—

Childe is getting his ass handed to him by Scaramouche on the switch. It's just that he can't seem to focus, not with the forthcoming date all over his mind.

He hasn't experienced these kind of jitters in a long time. Has to endure that foolish smile that's about to plaster all over his face.

Scaramouche may be a son of a bitch with an agenda, but he doesn't appreciate his acquaintances safeguarding their personal crap when it starts to leak onto him. Especially when it comes to video games.

"Okay," The short boy sighs, stretching over the staff room sofa to drop his controller on the cushions. "Let's hear it." He can't even properly enjoy his victories when Childe isn't giving it his all.

"Hear what?" Childe lays his head back, relaxing from all the strain of endless gaming during the lunch hour. He seems too relaxed for someone who's broken into the teacher's lounge.

"Why you're so distracted." Scaramouche points out. "Not that I care—hey! I'm serious here!"

Childe's cracking up for absolutely no reason, rudely cutting him off. "I'm sorry—sorry it's just so hard to take you seriously when you're wearing that stupid fucking hat."

"Don't question the drip." The older moves his head to glare at him, but the thin stripe of silk on his hat swooshes with him, and it's enough to have Childe clutching his stomach in pain as he barks out in laughter.

"Grow the fuck up." Scaramouche says, no doubt exasperated from the constant shit he gets.

"Ok—ok I'm sorry."

There's a knock on the door before Scaramouche gets the chance to intimidate him again.

"Fuck shit fuck who is that? Wasn't there a staff meeting?" Childe whisper yells, panic clear in the ocean of his eyes.

Scaramouche shrugs and downs a can of soda with no care in the world.

Childe would be nonchalant too. If it were a normal day, he wouldn't give two shits about getting caught.

However, he's looking forward to that date he has with you today. Detention is going foil all his lecherous plans.

"It's me." The feminine sound of a threat calls out from the other side. "Open the door." The clicks and clacks of her toes tapping the floor indicating her impatience.

The two sigh in relief, Childe getting up to open the door. It's way too early in the afternoon to deal with this crap.

"Surprised to see me?" Signora greets sweetly, and if not for the murderous glint in her eyes, he would smile back.

"Yeah, I didn't say Bloody Mary three times." The ginger replies, keeping a steady eye on the upperclassman in case she pulls a fast one.

The blonde shoves him aside in offence, and prances in like she owns the goddamn place. Scaramouche greets her with the bird.

"There's this rumour going around—I'm sure you've heard..."

"Oh?" Childe pockets his keys, ready for an attack, not even remotely interested in the topic.

"Something about how Y/N gave Mona a visit today" Signora muses, elegantly taking a seat on the arm of the couch, "with your date and all, I just thought you should know."

"Hah!" Scaramouche bursts out in laughter, tears in the corner of his eyes. "I can't believe she went to get a horoscope reading on how shitty your date's gonna be."

"Get castrated." Childe growls, flipping him off on both hands.

"Now now boys," Signora's lips curl, and she clasps both manicured hands together, prepared to break the fight if it ever reaches its peak. "Settle down. You two are comrades."

"As if I'm comrades with this SIMP!" Scaramouche has to wheeze out the words.

The youngest clenches his fists, unclenches, and then lets a smirk grow. "Oh? I'm the simp? What about that time Mona pantsed you in-front of all the freshmen and you fell in love with her."

Scaramouche glares at him, a glare strong enough to have anyone shaking in their shoes. "I'm attracted at her sheer audacity of trying to fuck I, Scaramouche, the 8th harbinger, over. It takes balls."

"Mad respect." Signora leans forward to place her phone on the coffee table, then approaches Childe. "Moving on, the reason I've decided to bestow my precious intel on you is because I have a favour to ask of you."

"What?" He says blankly, confused that she has a request for him out of all people.

"I need you to let me get you ready for this date of yours." She gives him a gaze that is enough to wither away any arguments.

Childe shares a look with Scaramouche as if to say "am I fucking deaf because I sure as shit didn't just hear that."

"You sure as hell did, boys." Signora intercepts the connection of their two brainwaves with a dreaded sigh. "I hate Y/N. This is the only way I can get back at her."

"Hey!" Childe exclaims loudly, waving his hands in the air incessantly. "What makes you think I'll let you shit on my future girlfriend."

"I'll be doing nothing of the sorts." She points out, giving him a sly smile. "I just know she's terrified of what's coming. The better the date is, the more she's gonna hate herself. What more do I need but to sprinkle some inner conflict within her airtight resolve?"

As favorable as the proposal is, Childe  contemplates for a second. Signora...helping him? This could work to his advantage if he plays his cards right.

His inner turmoil takes him into the future, where you two are happily married with eight and a half kids. If you ever managed to find out Signora was the culprit that was finally able to set you two up, you'd never forgive him.

"Nah I'll take a hard pass." He doesn't want to think about divorce and custody battles this early on. He'd rather face the brunt of Signora's wrath.

Scaramouche chooses right then to make a tactical withdrawal out through the window since he doesn't want to be a witness to a murder he hasn't caused.

Surprisingly— "Fine then." Signora shrugs, unbothered when summoning out a minty juul from no where. She's disappointed nonetheless.

Childe tilts his head, perplexed, but decides against mulling over it for too long. Instead, he strides off to the door, wanting to get the last two periods over with so he can run home and freshen up for this date.

"Oh and Childe?" Signora calls out to him, but he barely acknowledges her, only pausing momentarily without looking back. "A piece of friendly advice. A diligent student like Y/N, there's no way she'd be into rash things like fighting. So try and control yourself, hmm?"

He flashes the senior a sheepish smile, the front row tickets to the illegal underground fight-club burning in the back pocket of his pants.

—

Childe conceals near the bushes by the gate, expertly hiding his shaking hands by pretending to look for something in his back. His goal isn't to seem desperate, even though he's raced out here at the speed of light after Havria's dismissal.

It's not like he's trying to eavesdrop or anything. He just wants a little insight on how you're feeling about this, in case the rumors of you visiting the occult club wasn't a farce.

From his peripheral, he spots you and a familiar figure that is Lisa, leisurely walking side by side as you approach the main side walk.

"Ready for your date, Y/N? You've been daydreaming all afternoon." Lisa winks, and dodges the shove you send her way with experience like no other.

"Yes, daydreaming about punching you in the face." Your left eye twitches in annoyance as you fix your hold on your skateboard.

"Well then, I'll be off—ah!"

The gorilla grip you have on her sleeve takes away all the time she has to get on the last bus she's about to miss.

Your utter strength is enough to make Childe's knees weak. How pathetic he thinks.

"Oh no you don't," You say in a sing-song voice, "you got me into this, so you're going to help."

"Help with what?" Lisa fakes a hard pout as she bats her lashes, trying to collect pity points.

"I—" You inhale, loosening your grip on her and averting your eyes nervously to see if anyone's watching. "Don't make me say it."

The older girl motions for you to continue, and you're sure you've suffered more for less at this point.

"I've never...been on a..." The sentence ends in a trailed murmur.

Childe doesn't think he's ever seen you so flustered. He's about to snap a picture for later, but decides against it. They'll be plenty of moments later on to see your cute expressions.

Lisa's grin is both seductive and terrifying, Childe notices. "You've never been on a date?"

"Shut up!" You hiss, dropping your board so you can cover her lips with your palm, eyes darting around your surroundings frantically. "Not so loud."

He has to bite at his fist to hide his amusement.

As if she has a sixth sense, Lisa's eyes somehow find Childe's through the abundance of leaves, and there's a glint in her eyes that nearly makes him shart his pants.

"Of course Y/N," She replies sweetly to you, who is currently unaware of the staring match going on. "I'll teach you everything you need to know...and more."

Childe doesn't know if that's a good or bad thing. Nor does he want to find out.

—

You ponder on what's taking him so long, more on edge than you usually are. Thankfully, Lisa basically pried your hair down from its usual up-do. Said something about how you can hide your lack of shits given as to not offend him.

Except you think you're giving more shits that you expected to. Why else would your heart be pounding so hard?

"What took you so long?" You sense him creeping up on you, ceasing his chance to pounce.

Childe groans playfully and slaps a hand over his face as he comes into view. "How'd you know?"

"You have a douche-styled gait." You reply as you remove your gaze off your phone to approach him.

He's prepared to shoot a witty reply, but it dies halfway through his throat when he procures a good look at you. Your hair frames your face elegantly, eyes shining despite the tiredness that's so clear, all complete with a cooling spring dress that hugs you just right.

Mouth going dry, he forgets how to speak the common tongue, unable to tear his gaze off your form.

You shift in place awkwardly. "Uh are you okay? Looking a little...blank."

"Sorry—sorry just thinking." Childe stumbles over his words like the complete idiot and a half he is, berating himself countlessly on the inside. He regains his confidence once he spots the light dust on your cheeks. "You ready for the best date ever?"

"The best date huh?" It's the first time you smile today, and he swears his heart leaps in his rib cage. You're the prettiest thing he's ever laid his eyes on. "I'm ready. I better not be disappointed."

"I wouldn't dare disappoint, girlie." He feigns mock offence as dramatically as possible. "I'll show you how to have some real fun. Cool keychain by the way, for good luck?"

It's one of the charms Chongyun urged you to carry with you at all times to keep all forms of evil away.

"Yeah...something like that."

The two of you ease into the walk in a relatively comfortable fashion, contributing with lively chatter and a few jabs here and there. It's not awkward at all, not like you thought it would be. Your nerves loosen up, mind diverting from the roots of the stress of high school.

"—And you won't believe what Kaeya did the other day. I'm telling you there's something wrong with him because that SoundCloud rapper wannabe Venti goaded him into birdboxing through the hallways at lunch."

"And the son of a bitch did it?"

"The son of a bitch did it." Childe confirmed, gasping through his laughs as the two of you converse in psychobabble. "And guess who he bumped into?"

You're choking in laughter, tears in your eyes as you hunch over and shake. "He didn't. Childe—no he didn't."

"Straightttt into Diluc. And he had the balls to feel him up because he thought he bumped into a hot bab—"

Childe crashes into a sturdy chest and stumbles backwards towards you, but manages to catch his balance midway. Both of you freeze when faced with a buff guy from another school, bandages on his fist and a crooked smirk on his face.

Fuck. You think. Classic high school cliché.

Realizing he can't risk the remainder of this date when it hasn't even begun, Childe raises a hand in apology, aiming to be the bigger person instead of socking the kid in the face.

"Sorry. I wasn't looking." He offers to the guy, but you can tell he isn't buying any of it. There are about four more kids who group, a setup that isn't going to end in your favour.

"Hey punk. You don't remember me?" The upperclassmen barks out, glaring holes into your date.

You deadpan towards Childe, but he's too is racking his brain to remember. Ends up shrugging with no recollection.

"I have a list of names but they're in my other pants." Shit, what an a-grade reply. Now you know you're done for. "Listen dude, I'm kind of on a date and the vibe is going great. Don't ruin it."

"It's a good thing she's here to watch then!" The guy yells, stomping so that he's right in-front of Childe, ready to pounce. "You humiliated me in front of my gang last week. I'm here to rip you a new one."

Childe blinks, tries to remember, and when he doesn't, he grabs a wad full of cash from the his Fanny pack and throws it at the guy's feet.

Everyone's eyes bulge out of their sockets, including yours at the amount of money placed there casually on the crack of the dirty sidewalk.

"Hopefully this is enough for the damages." Childe offers, aiming to not further escalate the situation albeit how pissed he is right now. If you weren't here...well that would be another, much more violent story.

With a soft tug, Childe brings you close and begins to pass the guy, until he's abruptly stopped by a hand gripping his shoulder tightly.

"I don't think so!" The guys barks, and his lackeys move to surround you two. "You gotta pay taxes too buddy." Oh he's getting way too comfortable now.

A feral smile grows on Childe's face as he looks over his shoulder. "Oh?"

"Yeah shithead." The guy seethes, puffing out his chest to size him up.

Childe itches for a fight. He can no longer keep in the urge and is just about ready to raise a heavy fist, but is beaten by the sound of a loud thwack, and then a painful groan following.

There you are, standing in front of the trembling asshole, spinning your crossbody bag in circles like it's a nunchuck in all it's glory. There's a deadly glint in your eyes, pure, unadulterated vexation in your features.

If Childe could fall for you any harder, it's probably happening now. In that exact moment, his heart beats in his ears uncontrollably, and there's nothing but raw adoration that piles up all at once.

You're an angel of destruction, a force not to be reckoned with, and shit, you're the eye of the fucking storm.

Fire courses through your veins as you pulverize the guy with your bag, swinging with such expertise it has Childe in awe. "He may be an absolute idiot for not remembering—"

"Hey girlie you're killing me here!" Your date snaps out of his astonishment temporarily.

"—but you don't get to call him a shithead, you asshole!" You snarl angrily, gripping the handle of your bag tightly, decking everyone that lunges at you, letting out strings of curses with every hit. Every hit sends a flock of them either stumbling back in pain, or knocked out completely.

Childe doesn't even get a chance to lift a finger by the time you're done violating them with your heavy ass pink bag. Stands there like an absolute loser.

"Apologize." You pant, prepared to send another flurry of attacks at the leader, who is crawling away with a battered face. "Apologize or I'll—I'll fucking Russian neck tie your ass."

"S-sorry!" The guy whimpers out and tries not to piss his pants at the threat.

Childe is still in too much shock at the whole ordeal to reply, short circuiting.

Another thirty seconds pass until he registers the smaller hand waving in front of his face. He catches your cold hand through his haze, brings it closer.

Running a free hand through his locks, he doesn't hide his astonishment. "You're fucking gorgeous, girlie." He whistles lowly, eyeing you with a new kind of regard.

"I-I uh." Your face is all shades of red by now, the adrenaline from kicking ass wearing down. "Let's go."

"How is that bag so heavy?" One of the fallen gasps out in pain, clutching his ribs as he trembles on the floor. "Like a buh-brick."

A part of your zipper in open, and Childe briefly peeks out of morbid curiosity. His jaw slackens. "Is that a...no, it can't be."

"It's a brick." You murmur guiltily, gnawing at your bottom lip. "Just in case." Fingers tentatively play with the straps.

Childe is head over heels by now, all smitten as a foreign warmth bubbles up in his throat, and he's just about sure he'll puke his heart out.

His next words are picked out carefully. "There's an underground fight club going on—"

You lock and aim for his right kidney.

Worth a try, Childe thinks.

"SIKE. Joking—joking. Just a joke." He insists, gloved hands raised by his ears in defence.

Clicking your tongue, you scowl and rush past him.

It hasn't even been an hour and it's been the most exciting date Childe's ever experienced. When he sees your lips twitch, he knows it's the same for you as well.

"Are we going or not?" You mumble, avoiding eye contact, a tinge of red still decorating your cheeks.

Childe crumbles into his hands at your deadly duality. One that comes for his enemies and one that comes straight for his heart.

[starshipsofstarlord]

The Sheriff and the Murderer

Part Three

Previous Parts | Part One | Part Two

Series Masterlist

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

Summary | one of the many things that you had never had the chance of doing was disposing of a body; luckily for you, you know just the right person who can tend to your aid.

Warnings | mentions of death, disposing of a body, mentions and aftermath of murder, mentions of rape, mentions of sex, swearing, mention of suicide

The smell of the carcass had your nose turning up, and the sight wasn’t much better. There was blood staining your lovely dress, that Lee had taken off hours prior. Now it was ruined, with the red digress of your husband; he always had to taint everything, and it still appeared to apply despite him being deceased.

Your eyes wallowed with water, as you thought of the mistakes you had made. There were so many, and marrying Simon had been of the greatest, considering that his treatment of you had been beyond disgraceful. And now, the red of his departed insides was sticking beneath his nails, causing you to gag.

This part, the slashing and ripping apart of his limbs, using your trusty shovel, had been worse than actually committing the initial crime. Killing him had been bliss, but this, reminded you of the possible consequences that you would be forced to partake in.

“Oh no.” You heaved, feeling nauseous from the pungent aroma, grasping at the top of your chest in sickness. You dropped his hand, that felt ironically lighter now that he was dead, letting it fall with the other parts of his distorted, and broken, body.

The worst part of all was, now that you had control of where his palms were permitted to go, and the power had you feeling complete. It had you basking in your own glory, but now, you were lost, grieving the path that you had lost regarding the man that you truly were infatuated with.

Walking backwards, and closing the shed door, you abandoned the sections of Simon, hurrying back into your empty home, and going towards your lined phone. Without caring about the prints of blood that you were padding onto the numerical keys, you dialled a woman that you knew to be in the business of cold body abandon.

For a minute, the line rang, leaving you antsy and picking at your stained nails, chipping away at the surrounding skin. All you could smell was the reminder of blood, that smothered you in a hermit of remembrance.

A remembrance of the times that he would splatter your body with his self, claiming that you were his wife, and even bragging about it to the fellas that he worked closely with. But you were nothing more than a shadow in his eyes, a prize that followed him around the house, flaunting her terrified doe eyes at his silhouette.

His greatest flaw was, aside from his poisonous and lingering touch, that smothered you in the cruelest of ways, was that he thought he was aware of everything that went on around him. It was as though he thought he were the sheriff...

But behind his turned back, your shadow would dance with the image of Lee Bodecker, in a private and disclosed matter. He was the true sheriff of the town, the wine who could order you to do anything, and you would wilfully comply.

Lee had, and never would hurt you. That was the definite difference between the polar pair. He was a lovely gentleman, and Simon, well, he was more like a rat swimming out of the sewer.

All these thoughts and actions of adultery were fair play, you slept with Lee behind the now scathed and chopped up back of your husband, whilst he bedded as many women that were actually willing to slumber with.

You were not dumb to his pattern, each night when he went out, he was pursuing a dame, but that never bothered you, because while he was out, the sheriff would make a stop, and check you over, in more ways than one.

Finally, you running with your thoughts was disrupted, for the ringing ceased. A upbeat and facade of a ‘hello’ rang though your ears, making you breathe a much deserved intake of relief.

“Hey Sandy.” You replied, holding the phone aggressively against your ear. Anything she had to say, you were willing to listen to, after all, she was a master in the ways of murder, as you knew and were trusted peculiarly with that detail of secrecy. “I need your help.”

The sound of Simon’s body parts beating around the trunk as sandy surpassed over a bump in the road reverberated through the entire vehicle. It soothed the initial silence that was exhibited in it, and nervously, you licked your thin lips, hoping that you would reach the ‘middle of nowhere’ soon.

It wasn’t that you and Sandy didn’t get along, in fact, you got along great, which was one of the reasons that she insisted to husband Carl that they leave you alive. But it was the fact that there was an unspoken gesture that waded through the air, like a muting toxin.

“Does Lee know?” She asked, finally breaking the silence like ice. It was a relief to hear voice, deep down, you were insecure that she was silently judging you for the entire ride, or at least, how far you had gone so far.

“No, and I intend for it to have a cap kept on it.” You slunk your shoulders, whilst thinking of Sandy’s sibling. He was far too good for you, he was the sheriff, and now, you deemed yourself as nothing more than a murderer.

The fact that you were a survivor of all sorts of horrid extremes wouldn’t matter to the boys in blue, they would not see you past your crime, and you feared that sheriff Bodecker would not either.

“Son of a bitch had it coming to him anyways.” Stated Sandy, being heartless to her admission. “The sight of you and that prick drove my brother insane. We all knew what he was doing to you, yet, they wouldn’t charge him, all because you were simply married to him.”

“What would you have done if Carl had dared lay his hands on you in an in-consensual manner?” You asked, plucking away at the trim of your clean skirt. Before you had left to go on this joyous trip with Sandy, you had changed, all in favour of the neighbours, and anyone else you happened to pass.

“I’d have done the same darling.” She comforted you, looking away from the road for a moment, to send you a quick and sincere smile. Things within the car were falling into their previous rhythm, it being apparent that the two of you were good and well adversed friends. “I wanted to kill Simon too, you know? But with the threats I have made in the past, it would have been far too suspicious.”

“Yeah.” You agreed, suddenly feeling guilty that if it were found to be known that Simon was butchered, Sandy would be interrogated, most likely from her own brother. “How is Carl?” You changed the subject, shifting under the grip of the seat belt.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you how my lovesick brother is?” She replied, laughing lightly at your warm face. “He’s still head over heels for you girl, and yet, the other man won your heart.”

“I wouldn’t say won it, I’d say he manipulated it.” You retorted, crossing your arms over your chest to pave down the swell of tension inside. “I’d always told myself, and you, that I’d choose Lee Lee, but high school was a long time ago, and I can’t go back to sneaking kisses with him under the bleachers when your back was turned.”

“Trust me, I knew all along.” She smiled, thinking back to the simpler times. “And though, I know when he was training to be a deputy, he’d told you he had no time for a relationship, and he didn’t exactly expect you to wait for him. But you may as well have, considering the two of you continued to fornicate like wild rabbits.”

“Please stop.” You groaned at her words, covering your face with your clear and evidence free hands. “And we did not fornicate like-“

“My bedroom was right beside yours when we got that apartment, and before then, well it was against Lee’s. Trust me, when I say that I know off by heart how you sound in bed sweetie. And god, did I grimace as I heard you mewling my brother’s name.”

Breathily you laughed, thinking back to the times that were spoke of. “Sandy.” You spoke her name, earning a radical hum in reply. “I love Lee.”

“Trust me darling, I am well aware of that. The two of you are like Romeo and Juliet, except you’ve killed someone else rather than taken your own life. And then, there’s never been anything holding the two of you apart-“

“Okay, you’re trying to make a point here Sand. Nothing like Romeo and Juliet, I got it.” You nodded your head, before leaning it back into the plumpness of the head rest. “And then there’s you and Carl, Bonnie and Clyde.”

“Sweetie, you’re a killer too now, so I wouldn’t make comparisons. You’re just lucky that the first suspect for Simon’s disappearance will be a man, and then we’ll see where I am on that list. And you know me, I will always protect you, it’s what we do.”

“It is what we do.” You repeated, watching the road ahead, and tapping your feet in tune with the floundering of Simon’s own rolling feet.

Tags;

@charmed-asylum @brynthebulldozer @tcc-gizmachine @stucky-my-ship @acciosiriusblack

[inkdemonapologist]

Tfw it’s like 6am and your penpal shows up at your hotel room but he’s like partially a demon and also won’t stop smiling????

Hi again Allison we’re all Very Normal

[BatIM Call of Cthulhu Masterpost]

ANYWAY HAVE SOME, OUT-OF-CONTEXT QUOTES for Session 6!!

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[GM] You said you were there for... inSPECTION?? [Jack] In hindsight, that must've been a HECK of a Fast Talk considering half the group is in pyjamas.

[Henry] It wouldn't be the first time someone tried to sacrifice Henry.

[GM] *about Sammy's sacrifice attempts* He was very polite about it. [Sammy] Yeah, he was! [Henry] He was very polite, he gets points for politeness. [GM] And then he got yelled at, so unfairly! By someone. [Sammy] And then melted! So everyone was on the whole very rude about it. It's your own fault he's like this now.

[GM] We'll say it's ajar, how about that? [Joey] Oh, I thought it was a door.

[Sammy] You can spend Luck!! [Jack] Do I want to use Luck points, though? Here's the problem, I'm the person who finishes the JRPG with twelve thousand healing items, and has used TWO. [Sammy] Here's my counterargument: if your Luck gets really low, you start failing Luck checks, and bad things happen to your character. [Jack] ...that's a perfect counterargument, I'm going to do it.

[GM] You both spot the hat with the press card! Lying on the floor, over by one corner of the sliding doors. [Jack] Oh that's BETTER than taking sanity damage! [Sammy] EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!

[Joey] There's another jug of space juice. [Sammy] I don't want space juice!! I WANT PAINT.

[Henry] *tired* Hey, Sam. [Sammy] What providence, my little sheep! [Henry] ...Good to see you too.

[Sammy] Go into the other room and introduce yourself! [Joey] With two hats on. [Sammy] ASSERT DOMINANCE!

[Jack] Jack is going to take the hat. He's going to have, uh, at least one emotion. [Jack] Maybe more [Jack] Imagine

[Joey] Joey is immediately going to clamp his hand onto Sammy's shoulder, and ask him if he can feel it. [Sammy] UHHH? His... hand...? [Joey] Not-- No, the stone. [Sammy] OH

[Jack] Jack, how are you going to communicate this if one of your hands is taken up by a hat? [Joey] Interpretative dance! [Sammy] Put hat in elbow while writing, you can juggle stuff, [Henry] Put the hat on. Over your other hat.

[Sammy] Sammy will scurry with or without the sheep, but they are his navigation system, so,

[Joey] That is a place we are known to be by the people who tried to... murder us?? Or something. Snake us??????? [Jack] (Snurder.) [Joey] Snurder us.

[Henry] We're just gonna grab our stuff and head out and... let you finish dealing with the sNAKE, I guess!! [Jack] (the snake has already been dealt with!) [Henry] Okay, but the aftermath of the snake! The snaftermath.

[Sammy] In case we get grabbed by an Angel [Sammy] the much less well-liked sequel to Touched by an Angel,

[Sammy] You traitorous sheep, this is not what I asked you for! [Joey] Do you want to die. Is that what you’re interested in?! Just, sacrificing yourself, without doing the proper rituals, not getting anything done--?! [Sammy] What do you know of proper rituals?! [GM] (....quite a lot, actually,) [Joey] Yeah! Much more than you do! And I will make an intimidation roll! [Jack] Boys,... you’re both pretty,... it’s okay....

[Joey] We’re pretty sure there’s Angels.... does she know how to kill them. [Jack] What a first thing to—! No pleasantries, no “please excuse the fact that I’m grinning and have weird eyes and also Sammy has weird eyes and also I have a tail,”

[GM, speaking for Allison] She would like to know what all this is about! [Joey] We’re having problems— [Sammy] He tried to contain something that should not be contained!! [Joey] Shut up, Sammy! We’re having problems!

[Joey] Joey is just going to quickly explain that he.................... [Joey] *mumbling to himself* how do you explain this???

[Joey] Um... I guess he’s going to mentally ping Bendy and ask him how he would describe himself? Like... what was his job, I guess?? Security??? [GM] Bendy says that he’s an eldritch construct that was defending a cult... and now he is something else! That he doesn’t have a word for. [Jack] !! He’s a FRIEND now!!! [GM] He’s friend-shaped! But not at the moment. [Joey] No, right now he’s Joey-shaped.

[Sammy] I mean the whole body is garbage but you apparently want Sammy to wear clothes, so whatever.

[GM] Allison adds that she thinks she might have a connection to get you guys in to the party, if you need that -- [Joey] Wouldn't hurt! [GM] -- so long as you don't mind pretending to be the help! [Joey] ...hm,,,

[Joey] Admittedly, having two angles would be better than one. [GM] Two angels, what? [Sammy] There's an "I can be your angle or yuor devil" joke somewhere in this campaign...

[Sammy] Well, we've learned how to bind an angel, [Jack] Gotta teach the angel proper binding techniques!

[Sammy] Sammy will thank Allison for her help. [Joey] Oh god, there IS something wrong with him!

[Joey] Let's go get Norman tied up in this more! So we can hire him later!!

[Sammy] Jack over there like "I hope it doesn't taste bad" meanwhile Sammy's been grimacing as he swallows paint for the last two hours, [GM] Ink is much better, didn't you know! [Sammy] Ink is better... this tastes wrong... [Joey] I just really love the idea of Sammy longingly looking at Joey's flask like, "aw, you have the good medicine, mine tastes like the terrible cherry crap!"

[GM] So you all have shots with Allison! Space juice shots. [Jack] What a way to start the morning!

[Jack] These boys are gonna heckin' pass out! [GM] They got, what, maybe 3 hours of sleep? [Jack] And all of Jack's sleep last night was sat upright in bed, with his glasses on, surrounded by notes, [Henry] sounds like college [Jack] You're exactly right, Jack's sleep was exactly like college! He was stressed, he didn't sleep for very long, he was surrounded by notes, Pete was there,

[Joey] *saying farewell to Allison* Keep yourself safe; don't go out where we're going. [Joey] Unless we don't return, then pLEASE COME OUT AND FIND US,

[GM] Norman says, "Oh, I see you're back with your friends, Smiley." [Jack] I love the concept of Norman calling Sammy "Smiley," and then Prophet Sammy, in response to this, smiles, and Norman has no idea if this is like, weird? or some kind of strange power move to assert dominance.

[GM, as Norman] When I said I saw things happening on the 2nd, you're the one that went pale! [Joey] How's Prophet Sammy's cONCEPT OF TIME, [Sammy] Not great!!!! [Sammy] I don't think he... knows when the 2nd was.

[Sammy] Forgive my memory. That doesn’t ring a bell! [Joey] He's... a little affected right now. [Norman] ...you don't say...

[Joey] Listen. I have $75 here for you, to take us out to the lake, as soon as possible. [a couple minutes of googling later] [Jack] That's equivalent to $1,464. Joey. [Sammy] CAN YOU IMAGINE?? "We need you to take us to the lake please" "Alright, but explain to me what's going on?" "SORRY, the guy who said that is clearly HIGH OUT OF HIS MIND, here's A THOUSAND DOLLARS, take us to the lake please!" [Jack] its a trip to the lake, what could it cost, $75 [Joey] *laughing* I should've looked up how much money I was saying before I was saying it, [Sammy] No, no, I think this is accurate to JOEY DREW

[Henry] Henry is just watching everything happening... [Sammy] Henry is waiting for the next video game breadcrumb trail to show up. [Henry] YEAH, [Jack] “Oh! Looks like I need to put three gears in this thing!”

[Sammy] I'm so angry on Sammy's behalf that you've made him meet two different people like this.

[Joey] If he does ask for money later, Joey's going to give it to him, because he has no concept of.... money.... [Sammy] No concept of GIVING OUT ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS [Jack] Can Joey Drew meet me, in real life, please? [Joey] I don't know if you want that to happen,, that might be more of a curse,,, [Jack] I'll take a curse! Gimme money! [Sammy] vOICE OF EVERY JDS EMPLOYEE

[GM] And you've got suits, and dress shoes...... [Sammy] We are not dressed for this. [Sammy] ...We are more dressed for it than we were earlier. I promise you, Norman, this is a step up, believe it or not.

[Sammy] Probably making a face because it tastes bad. [Henry] Tastes like paint! [GM] The cab driver might just wonder if that's a new drink this year. [Sammy] If nobody jumped on top of Sammy to stop him from using his mouth, he would probably say something with vibes of "this is beyond your comprehension" [Joey] Joey might try to stop that, and instead just be like, “Yes. It is.” [Henry] He's high. Don't worry about it. [Jack] Driver's just like "oh, I should try some of that when I get off work, seems like a good time!" [Sammy] You should! It'll open your eyes! [Sammy] (I'll stop evangelising the cab driver now.)

[Henry] Henry is: Sims Tense Moodlet.

[Joey] Joey instantly does not like this, and it is apparent on his face, if Sammy can see it in the mist. [Sammy] Probably not! [Jack] You could say he mist it!

[Henry] We need to hurry—! [Sammy] *screaming* THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING!!!!!!

[Sammy] Sammy will be, sort of... whispering reassurance? I don't know how reassuring it actually is, [Henry] I'm sorry Sam, nothing about you is reassuring right now. [Sammy] Just kind of like, hush hush, come my sheep, that sort of thing, [Joey] Prophet ASMR Channel! [Jack] I'm sure Jack would appreciate this actually, it's a shame he's not the one getting this, [Joey] No, he's getting whatever comfort Joey can offer, which, uh, [Sammy] Well, and I will say, he's not like, whispering it in Henry's ear, like-- [Jack] I don't think Sammy in any form is capable of whispering. [Sammy] ...y'know [Sammy] that's fair

[Sammy] Well everyone's doing alright! We're doing great, it's going great! [Jack] Nooooo! No going great! I want more insanities! [Jack] ...I can stop at any time, I swear.

[Sammy] We can hold Norman's hand if you want, like, that's up to you. [Joey] Roll for gay, Norman! [Henry] Take him to dinner first,

[Sammy] This is such a bad idea that we're having.

[Joey] Joey is probably at this point holding onto someone else to guide him, and more in his head than not. [Sammy] Sammy's out of hands at this point, Joey, so you'll just have to figure this out. [Sammy] Got his hands full of sheep.

[Joey] Did Norman drink the juice. [GM] Did he...? Did he...... I think he was convinced enough by “this drink will save your life” that he does take a drink! [Joey] I'll roll intimidation if that helps! [GM] Yeah, you can roll to see how quickly he does it, or if he drinks enough of it. [Joey] *rolls* That's an EXTREME SUCCESS. [GM] Well, there we go; there's a preview, Norman, of your work environment!