#threats of self-harm

[howtowhumpyourhiccup]

Death - Chapter 9

The Glaring Truth

Summary: Post Httyd 3, the dragons never left. When Hiccup and Toothless disappear after responding to a distress message, Astrid and the Dragon Riders give chase.

Warnings: Violence, Threats of Self-harm

Rating: Explicit

Words: 3 127

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Characters: Hiccup, Toothless, Astrid, Stormfly, Snotlout, Hookfang, Fishlegs, Meatlug, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, Barf and Belch, Valka, Cloudjumper, Eret, Skullcrusher, Httyd ocs (Rufflegs twins)

Pairing: Hiccstrid, Rufflegs

Author's Notes: It's Death Day! I've been looking forward to posting this chapter! Chapter 10 has already been finished, 11 is just about halfway done! :)

Enjoy!

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Guys I’ve officially been told to off myself for “being racist” because I’m not a fan of a lot of rap music lmao

(Also someone tagged like 30 of my posts with #aro ace safe place for all (white only) which is a level of petty and stupidly that made me cackle lmao)

[autumnteawithfriends]

WARNING: This post contains grooming, guilt tripping, suicide attempts, talks of Self Harm, threats of SA to a minor, and mentions of animal death

Hello, if any of you are reading this, then I’m here to say that I highly recommend blocking this cunt on Twitter

To those who are wondering, this deplorable bitch has groomed my friend @cagneyblooms (Vriska is 18 and Cagney is 15) and Vriska has guilt tripped Cagney by threatening to send her cutting pictures

(The pink/purple text is my friend Cagney)

Vriska has also encouraged her to commit suicide by listing methods Cagney could do

Vriska has also threatened to kill her own perfectly healthy animals and told Cagney it

Vriska has also talked about murdering her on one of her many termed Tumblr accounts

However, me and some of Cagney’s friends weren’t going to let this bitch keep doing this to Cagney, so we sent her anonymous hate mail (I couldn’t screenshot theirs, but here’s one of mine)

(Also I do not give a shit if you give me smack for this, Vriska is a fucking terrible person)

Cagney has also informed me that after this, Vriska had tried to threaten me with SA before her account got termed

All I have to say is that how fucking pathetic are you to the point of threatening to send one of your “friends” after me. Keep in mind, I am a minor and I’m the same age as Cagney (15)

Vriska is also extremely racist because look at this shit she made

This speaks for itself, and something that also makes it worse is the shade of color she specifically used for the skin

It’s fucking dark muddy orange/yellow

So to conclude this, fuck Vriska, I hope she gets terminated and eventually sent to jail. If you or any of your friends see any account of hers. Block and report it

As a bonus, here’s my response to her on her brand new Twitter account before I blocked her

(EDIT: I made a continuation post right here)

[3-2-whump]

Adjusting Well: A Parallel

<prev next>

By all accounts we weren't going to even have this chapter, but my beta readers convinced me to make this drabble canon. So, here it is. Everyone say thank you to @whumped-by-glitter and @generic-whumperz for letting Tom live one more chapter and prolonging Khaled's misery

A parallel to Adjusting Well

TW/CW: noncon nudity, multiple whumpers, degradation, emotional manipulation, degrading speech, threat of castration (not followed through), humiliation, noncon oral, self-harming behaviors

“How’s he adjusting?”

Thomas sighed. “Fine, I guess?” He threw a backward glance at a shirtless Khaled from where he sat on the sofa. The slave was engrossed with buffing out the scratches on the granite countertop. “He doesn’t talk much anymore-”

“When did he ever talk much?” Luca shrugged.

“Well, it’s worse now,” Thomas explained. “He just sulks all the time, shambling like a zombie from one room to the next!” He leaned in close to his oldest and most trusted friend. “When I took his cock cage off yesterday, he barely even reacted! Barely remembered to thank me, too,” he grumbled.

“I don’t understand,” Luca said as he furrowed his brow. “This is what you wanted, right? A living fuck doll to keep you warm at night?”

“No, that’s more of what you want, man!” Thomas shook his head, then leaned back onto the couch with a sigh. “I wanted at least a little bit of liveliness, maybe even some enthusiasm, if that wasn’t too much to ask for! I don’t know how to break him out of this slump, or if I even can!” he groaned.

Luca pursed his lips, looked over the side of the couch back at Khaled, and then back at Tom. “Bring him over here, I want to talk to him,” he said.

His friend obviously had an idea, though what exactly this idea was remained to be seen. Thomas craned his head over his shoulder once again to look back at the slave behind them. “Khaled, come here,” he ordered.

The boy looked up from the countertop as his hand holding the cleaning rag stopped buffing. He looked back down at the counter, then sighed, putting the rag down and stepping out from behind the counter. Without the granite and hardwood in the way, it was plain to see Khaled was completely naked. Luca gave an appreciative whistle. Thomas shot him an exasperated look. It was nothing the man hadn’t already seen at this point, but he always leered at Khaled’s nakedness as if it were the first time Tom got the idea to pass him around.

Khaled finally stood before the two men, waiting silently until he was commanded to kneel in the presence of his master.

“So, I heard you’re feeling kind of down,” Luca said as the boy settled onto his knees.

Khaled glanced toward his master, then back at Luca, and nodded somberly.

“Not sure why you’re so upset, though. I mean, really –did you not think your actions would have consequences?” Luca asked rhetorically. Thomas recognized this speech from those few times he’d interacted with Luca and his family before. This was the speech Luca used to use on his sons, with some obvious modifications to fit this specific situation. Never had he ever thought the man would rehash the ‘own up to your mistakes’ monologue onto his slave.

“Here my buddy is, just trying to protect you from your baser instincts –the same instincts that got you infected –and you think you have the right to be upset about it?” He tutted and shook his head in disapproval. “You stupid little slut! You still don’t know how good you have it, do you?” Luca admonished.

Khaled hesitantly shook his head, a flicker of uncertainty crossing those dark, lifeless eyes.

“If you were mine, I never would’ve tolerated this shit! I would’ve had you fixed like the horny little bitch you are the moment I suspected you spreading your legs for someone else!”

Khaled flinched, bringing his hands to his front to shield himself the moment the word ‘fixed’ was uttered. “Khaled,” Thomas warned. The boy nodded his head and reluctantly placed his hands at his sides, exposing himself again.

“You would never have left my sight for even a moment,” Luca continued, “but noooo, Tom felt bad for you and allowed you to ‘make friends’ or some shit! At least it was with Nico, at first –did you screw him to be your friend, too?”

Khaled’s face burned bright red at the invasive question. “What? No, I-”

“Quiet!”

On the other end of the couch, Thomas rolled his eyes. “See, of course now he talks, to defend what little honor he thinks he has left!” he scoffed.

“Honor?” Luca let out a snide laugh. “These slaves don’t have honor!” He leaned back onto the couch and gestured to Khaled as he explained. “No, no, what you think of as honor, I see as favor. Slaves are granted favor at the discretion of their owners, and that favor can be lost just as easily as it can be given. And this one lost favor due to his own actions alone.” He cast a smug look back at Khaled and asked, “So, what do you have to say for yourself?”

“Um, I’m sorry?” Khaled murmured.

“Tom, do you accept that apology?”

The boss shook his head as his lips quirked into a wry smile. “No, I don’t think I do. It didn’t feel…genuine enough.”

“Yeah, come on, Khaled,” Luca jeered. “Let’s try that again! What do you have to say to the man who raised you, who waited for you to become legal all those years before laying his hands on you, who gave you everything?”

Khaled gave a shuddering sigh before lowering his eyes respectfully. “I’m sorry,” he answered, voice full of conviction. He effortlessly folded himself over into a bow, planting his forehead onto the carpet in front of their feet. “Forgive me, Master,” he said loud and clear.

“Forgive you for what?” Thomas asked, fully leaning into this game now.

“Forgive me for sleeping around, for taking you for granted, for-for not loving you like you want me to!” Khaled answered.

“How sorry are you?”

“So sorry!”

“Would you like to show us? Go on, boy, show us how sorry you are!”

This reminded Tom of when he and his friends were younger, when they would bully the freshmen at St. Drogo’s and rob them blind of pocket change. Khaled begged and screamed repeated apologies over and over, bashing his face into the carpet repeatedly each time as Luca goaded him on. “Okay, okay, stop, stop, stop!” Thomas commanded, intervening before Khaled could truly hurt himself. “Goddamn, Luca, you’re gonna give him brain damage!” He softened his tone as he redirected his tone to Khaled. “Get up here, sweetheart.”

Khaled raised his head slowly, sporting a deep red, carpet-patterned imprint on his forehead and tears falling from his inky dark eyes. He crawled on all fours until his body was between his master’s legs, his cheek leaning against his master’s thigh. Thomas stroked his face gently, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Show me how sorry you are,” he ordered softly. His hand left Khaled’s face to tug down the fly of his pants. Without a word, his slave pulled his hardening member out of his pants and popped it into the warm, velvety cavern of his mouth, lightly sucking on it and brushing it along his tongue to stiffen it to full mast.

“See? That’s better,” Thomas cooed.

“You’re welcome, by the way,” Luca chimed in. “He’s out of his slump and onto your cock where he belongs.”

“God, how do you not have one of your own to boss around already?” Thomas asked, completely ignoring Khaled’s efforts to please him.

“Not all of us have $30k to throw away; some of us gotta put our sons through college,” Luca griped.

Thomas rubbed the back of Khaled’s head, brushing the boy’s shaved undercut against the grain as he hummed contemplatively. “Well, I know it’s kind of gross for me to be offering my used sex toy like this, but you’ve always seemed to take an interest in him.” His hand traveled up to the longer hair on top of Khaled’s head, fisting into it as he pulled the boy’s face further into his lap. “What if I left him to you, if something should happen to me?”

Khaled made a small choking sound, which Thomas shushed away as he continued face-fucking him.

Luca smirked. “If it was anyone else’s used sex toy, I would say they were crazy. But him, I like him. He’s still young, and handsome too. And god forbid anything should happen to you, of course-”

“It’s already happened, Estrada shot me-”

“-I would be happy to take him,” Luca said.

Thomas sighed in relief. That was one less thing to worry about if Julio or anyone else ever succeeded in killing him. They shook on it, with Tom promising to contact his executor on the next business day as he came down his slave’s throat.

Le Tag List: @kabie-whump @rainydaywhump @whumped-by-glitter @skittles-the-whumpee @generic-whumperz @bamber344 @there-will-always-be-blood @morning-star-whump @a-la-whump @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @defire

[donkeybro]

What the actual fuck is going on

(Hey, I’m not in the best fucking mood right now so I’m gonna make this nice, short and sweet.)

(There’s an anon going around pretending to be @/minusgangtime and @/brooke2valley, sending irl self harm photos, saying racial fucking slurs like the hard r, n word!! “Reporting” people for the dumbest shit and telling my friends that they deserve to be fucking raped!! There also encouraging suicide, are trans phobic and are threatening to find out where people fucking live!!!)

(IM NOT EVEN FUCKING EXAGGERATING, HERES THE PROOF!!:

(ALSO!!! APPARENTLY THEYRE DOING THIS SHIT FOR A FUCKING FACE REVEAL!!!)

(IM DONE!! IM ACTUALLY FUCKING DONE WITH THIS ABSOLUTELY BULLSHIT!! GET A FUCKING LIFE YOU BITCH MADE COWARD OF AN ANON!! GO OUTSIDE AND LEARN SOME FUCKING DECENCY INSTEAD OF LURKING IN YOUR MOTHERS BASEMENT LIKE THE FUCKING WASTE OF SPACE YOU ARE!!!)

(GET OUT OF ME AND MY FRIENDS LIVES FOR GOOD YOU INHUMANE, MAIDENLESS, TRANSPHOBIC, BASEMENT DWELLING, DISGRACE OF WHATEVER FAMILY YOUR APART OF!!!)

[moeblob]

Druas and Eva

[iw2kms]

CREATING PAIN so my current pain doesn’t feel so bad >>>>>>>>

[writinggremlin]

Red Dead Redemption: Bound and/or gagged for the Coffee shop pals???

Helloooooo anon! Everybody give it up for the one who prompted this entire series!!! Wooooo!!!!!!

Sorry it took me so long to respond! If this is your first time hearing of this series, then you might want to check out the masterlist (linked above the CW) so that you may have all of the context.

I am answering this with part 3 because this is the main juice. This is the part that contains the main premise of this ask. Then part 4 will contain the execution, actually going through with the binding, gagging, and killing(¿).

I hope you enjoy!

(Disclaimer: There is a character mentioned in here (Damien), who is not one of my characters. He belongs to a friend of mine that I rp with. They don't have a Tumblr, but they go by ducks._.andcoffee on the platform I know them on. Their character is only used in a passing mention here, but I just thought I should give credit anyway lol.)

Masterlist

CW (above cut): (Hypothetical) Murder Mention

CW (under cut): More Murder Mentions, Suicide Mention, Self Harm Mention, Threats To Harm Others, Manipulation/Coercion, Torture Mention, Restraints, Knife, Implied Drugging Mention, Brainwashing/Mind Control

(If I missed anything, feel free to let me know!)

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Bind... Gag... Kill? (Pt. 3)

The Choice

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"WHAT?!" Kage snapped, temper boiling over.

"You just need to assign one per person," August calmly explained, "So, for example, let's say: bind Jacky, gag Sunni, and kill Mars!"

Mars objected, "HEY!! I get that I'm annoying sometimes but COME ON!!!"

August continued her explanation as if he didn't exist, "Whoever you choose to bind will be bound into a stress position, whoever you choose to gag will be made to wear that muzzle, and whoever you choose to kill will be, well, killed!"

Sunni objected too, "What the hell-- You can't just do that to us!!"

August smiled up at her, a look Jacky thought was too innocent for somebody so shamelessly unethical, "I can, and I will!" She turned back to Kage, gesturing to the three behind her, "So who will it be? Who will you choose to get what?"

Kage seemed to contemplate it, and for a moment, Jacky grew concerned.

"I choose to kill... myself."

"Hey now, you know that's not how--"

"Well FUCK that and FUCK you!! I am NOT gonna just-- choose one of them to die, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! What-- What happened to 'I'm not gonna hurt them', HUH?!"

Her smile seemed to stretch just a little too wide, "I'm not. I won't lay a single finger on any of them! Promise!"

It went silent for a few seconds, and Jacky almost felt like she was going to puke at the idea of what she was implying.

"What. The fuck," Kage finally said, "No, seriously, WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, AUGUST?! YOU SICK, TWISTED-- FUCK-- NO!!! NO!!!! FUCK YOU, I'M NOT KILLING ANYONE YOU FUCKING-- NO!!!! FUCK YOU!! FUCK YOU!!!"

August stood there while he had his outburst, silently taking the screaming and the insults without taking even the slightest trace of offence. Or at least, that's what it looked like-- her demeanor and expression didn't change even the slightest bit. She merely just waited. Waited patiently for Kage to calm back down.

"Well..." She finally said, taking a step back. Then another, "You're either going to have to choose..." She turned and walked behind Jacky, whose heart started to beat frantically as August rested the knife she was holding right against her neck, "Or I'll have to choose for you."

Jacky raised her chin and tried to pull her neck away as much as the restraints would allow. She silently glared up at August, though no amount of that could hide the tremble in her body.

Sunni audibly thrashed against her restraints, "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE, BITCH!!!"

Mars' eyes widened, and he looked over to Kage, "You're not actually going to kill any of us... right?"

Kage immediately shook his head, "No!! Fuck no!!! And none of ya are gonna die here. Because if any of you do and Damien finds out, he'll--"

"Ooo!!~" The sudden sound of August's voice made Jacky flinch. A dangerous thing to do in this situation, "So these three are under his protection too, hmm? Now that's interesting... I never would've guessed!"

"All of my friends are under my fiancé's protection, dipshit."

"Hm... That does throw a wrench in my plans though..." Jacky breathed a sigh of relief as the knife was lowered away from her neck. August stepped out in front of her and folded the blade back up, "Hm. Well, ok. Maybe not kill, but what about harm? I'll even let you pick the method! Is that better?"

Jacky caught the sight of Kage glaring daggers at August once again, as she stepped down and returned by his side. He clenched his jaw, his hands clenched the armrests on the chair, knuckles growing white.

"Well?"

The silence stretched on for a few more seconds, before he finally took a breath, his head dropping in defeat, "...Fine."

August clapped a few times, grinning excitedly, "Yay! Alright, then you may start whenever you're ready! Oh, and feel free to take your time with it. It's not like anyone is going to be going anywhere anytime soon."

Mars rolled his eyes, "Gee, I wonder why that is!"

She laughed, turning to face him, "Y'know, I really like you! Mars, right?"

He froze in place, stiffening like a statue, "Wait, how did you know my--"

"I have my methods!"

"Like torturing our friend?"

"Well, others may call it "torture", but I call it interrogation. I would never wish to inflict any more pain than what is absolutely necessary! Just the pin prick of a needle is all it takes-- if even that!" She laughed, turning back to Kage, "Isn't that right?"

He grumbled, "Shut up."

She put her hands up, "Ok, alright Mr. Grumpy Pants, I will. Sorry! I did get a little off track for a second there, didn't I?" She laughed, then cleared her throat, "Anyway, it's time for you to finally answer my question..."

She gestured to the others, "Who do you choose?"

Jacky's breathing picked up it's pace, becoming quicker and sharper, as the air grew still and quiet. She watched Kage as he silently looked over the three of them, his eyes slowly scanning across them one by one, his solemn expression weighing heavily on his features.

It was something that he had to do; there wasn't really a better option. She knew that, and she knew that he knew that too. But still, some part of her was still daring to hope that he wouldn't actually--

Tipping his head back, Kage let out a frustrated groan, "Bind... Mars."

Jacky's eyes widened as she watched August take the rope she presented earlier, and bring it to the metal plate in front of Mars, who looked utterly stunned.

"You're still young," Kage explained, raising his head back up to look at the other, "Probably still got some flexibility in ya. With any luck, it won't do too much damage; hopefully won't take ya too long to recover. And 'ey," He showed a half-smile that Jacky assumed was meant to be reassuring, "At least you'll have your mouth free so you can sass back and use all the sarcasm you'd like. That's gotta be somethin', right?"

Mars only gave a half-hearted chuckle and somber nod in response.

Kage's gaze seemed to linger for a moment, before dropping down to his lap, "I'm sorry, man..." he muttered.

Jacky couldn't help the tears that started pricking her eyes as the reality of the situation sank in. He was actually going through with this. And Mars getting bound meant that it was either going to be her or Sunni getting the worst option. Secretly, she hoped that he would choose Sunni for the muzzle, sparing her from the harm. Jacky looked over to the right, and found that Sunni was looking back.

Please just let her be safe. Please.

She'd gladly take the beating if it meant Sunni's safety. She wondered if she might've been feeling the same way; thinking the same thing. Maybe. It's possible. ...She looked back to Kage.

He was smart, she knew he was. He was great at thinking on his feet and strategizing. He was also great at making judgements about others, observing them and evaluating their behavior; picking apart every last detail about them until he knew them. Jacky knew that she wouldn't take it personally if he chose to hurt her.

But... did he know that?

Kage finally looked back up at August, "Gag... Sunni."

Jacky met Kage's eyes as August went to go place the muzzle in front of Sunni. A somber smile couldn't help but to cross her lips. Of course he would.

August turned back to Kage, "And that means..."

And that means...

"Harm..." He hesitated, drawing in a slow breath, before looking August dead in the eye, "...myself. I'm not hurting any of them. Fuck no."

A quiet breath of laughter escaped Jacky as she smiled further. Of course he would.

August got a dangerous glint in her eye, "Is that so?" She slowly stalked over to Kage, who kept his gaze level with hers. He didn't shrink back as she got closer, firmly holding his ground, a flame of determination alight in his eyes.

His voice was low and steady, "You aren't gonna make me. You can't make me." Jacky had to admit, it was a little eerie to hear him speak like that.

"I can't make you, hm?~" August crouched down behind him, getting close to his ear. She sounded unbothered, a little smug, even, and she wore a smirk to match, "You wanna bet?"

She placed a hand on his shoulder. Jacky could've sworn that just for a moment, just for the smallest fraction of a second, she saw him start to smile. But when she blinked, his expression only held confusion.

"What the hell are y--"

Snap.

His breath hitched.

"Sleep."

Jacky's eyes widened, and she helplessly watched as the determination, the spite, and even his very will seemed to drain from his face. She watched as the tension melted out of his muscles; as his eyes fluttered shut, and his head dropped forward. It was only a matter of seconds before he was completely limp in his seat, only being help up by the hand on his shoulder.

Snap.

August didn't even need to command him to wake, he just did so on his own. His head gradually rose, looking back up at-- no, through Jacky with glassy eyes and a blank expression. He looked empty... hollow...

A shiver ran down Jacky's spine.

August placed the knife from before into Kage's hand, "You've made your choice. Now follow through."

The restraints on his chair opened, and slowly, he stood.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Ahaha... Whoops!! There he goes! Whoopsies!!

Turns out that you can't beat August at her own game.

Tune in next time to witness the carnage.

Prev | Masterlist | Next

Taglist: @whumperofworlds, @3-2-whump (:000!! Lookit that! A second person on the taglist!! Hello!! Hi!!! Thanks for reading, you two! :D!!)

If anyone would like to be added or removed from the taglist, please feel free to let me know!

(Holy shit I hit the tag limit. Wow.)

[just-antithings]

Antis: "Ew proshippers are SO harmful by writing icky fanfics and drawing gross art" even when everything has warnings in place so you can avoid it to the best extent the site allows you to avoid it.

Also antis: proudly posts untagged gore or badly censored 'proship art' for callouts, glamourising ED's, self harm or murder. Harasses people, doxxes people, sends death threats and suicide baits frequently.

Obviously not all antis but I've noticed a bit too many like that on twitter

[autistic-katara]

there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)

[murachinchi]

Do you know that Tanjiro is 13 and the clones are 20?

get mad

[spinchip]

Turn You to a Colder Summer

(a/n: I wrote and edited this during my breaks at work, don't judge my grammar mistakes too harshly hehe)

(Warnings: frostbite (descriptions of numbness), violence, blood, injury, torture, mentions of past self harm, mouth trauma, threat of potential death. Kai does not have a good time, but he lives. The Ice Emperor is a Bad Guy)

(Wordcount: 2600)

Cold fingers drag along Kai's cheek in painful friction, ice crystals cracking and cutting into his skin like nettles as the hand arcs up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind his ear. The Ice Emperor's eyes are uncanny where they piece Kais gaze- black sclera where there should be white, burning electric blue where there should be warm sky, little flecks of gold that shift in and out of existence in the glow of the ice spires around them. No love. His expression is blank but not in the way Zanes usually is. It's cruel, clinical, and coldly detached.

Kai is bound in the floor, laid sideways to avoid the throbbing agony of brushing his frostbitten shoulder along the too-cold stone beneath him. That mark is hand-shaped, pressed brutally into his skin with a purposeful touch because Zane's ice couldn't get past the fire in his blood normally, not without excessive force or access to unlimited power. The ice blocks binding his arms behind his back and his ankles together don't sink frost as deep as when the Ice Emperor had torn him from his friends with an iron grip around his bicep. Their ambush failed. They were trying to escape, back through the tunnels Krag had shown them but he hesitated to follow, a part of him wanting to try and succeed where Lloyd had failed and draw Zane from the tyrant wearing his face. Kai knew better, he knew he couldn't get caught.

But he did, and now the Emperor is crouched over him with strange eyes and snowflakes trickling from his palm.

"He's not himself." Lloyd had said after stumbling back into the village- he’d left to look for the land bounty and had stayed gone three days, "If he catches you, he'll kill you." He promised, the sash from his ninja suit rewrapped tight over his belly and stained with his blood. The Staff of forbidden spinjitzu had a blade, after all. The Emperor was not afraid to use it. It was pure luck Lloyd had avoided the thick of the blade and hadn’t dropped his guts on the throne room floor.

To further prove his point and to save a life, he'd been dragging behind him a girl with each of her limbs encased in ice and delirious from blood loss, her mouth smeared with red where she'd coughed up bits of her lungs. He’d tapped her- just a tap against her sternum, the barest of hits that she’d nearly dodged, and he’d pushed ice into the delicate capillaries lining her lungs and frozen her blood half solid. The first breath she’d taken after had been agony, the second had torn. Akita. Lloyd had to tell them her name because she had passed out not long after arriving in the village- and when she tries to speak she was too out of it to form the right words. The blood flooding in her mouth wasn’t any help, either. Her body gave out once they began to chip her limbs free of ice, exhaustion claiming her. She was holding on to her life by a thread. Zane had done that.

No, the Ice Emperor had done that. It was an important distinction.

Kai, who'd just gotten his power back- the weak flicker that it was- had gone and gotten himself caught by the man.

The Ice Emperors eyes cut paths along his face, searching for something he knows is there but can't quite place. He'd been pacing around Kai for a long while, agitated and upset as he stared daggers at his prisoner. The frost on the edge of Kais cold and chapped lips reminds him not to speak. The Emperor has no qualms about forcing his silence. At first he’d thought the man was guarding him, too worried about the threat his powers might impose to regulate him to a typical cell under the palace. He was wrong. The Ice Emperor has no fear of him at all. Now he's so close Kai can smell oil, tracing burning cold lines into his skin as if finding the right path across his face will reveal what he's looking for.

Kai prepares for the eventual question. He also prepares for the scenario where the Emperor asks no questions and freezes his heart in his chest, but he hopes it doesn't come to that. He imagines what the Ice Emperor might ask- what the part of Zane still alive in him might push him to ask. There's no doubt that Zane still lives, because if he didn't the Emperor would have no reason to take any interest I'm him at all. He'd have been dead ten times over. Maybe he'll ask who are you? Or how do I know you? Or how do you know me? And Kai can explain to him that he loves him, he loves him, he loves him and that will make everything okay. It will. It has to.

Another long moment passes where the Emperor is crouched over him searching. Kai searches him too. Looks at everything in hope of finding the piece of the puzzle he can use to slot everything back into place. He's wearing completely different robes than he was before he was struck by the staff, white and gray and hand embroidered with diamonds made to glitter everytime he moved. His armor is growing fractals of ice in a messy, unkempt way. There's a patch where the icicles have been meticulously chipped away, but that chore was dropped and now they've been left to grow rampant. His face is dented and there's a patch of ice that's holding his jaw in place- an ugly crack from the corner of his mouth, a gap, and Kai can see where the connection between his mandible and skull has been snapped. The lopsided frown makes the break even more apparent.

The hand on his face is covered by a pure white glove. The hand on the staff is bare other than a thick case of ice, and Kai can see clear through it to the mess underneath. The titanium casing on his hand has been split apart to reveal his skeletal structure below. Kai has spent enough time in Jay and Nyas' mechanic lair under the monastery to have at least somewhat of a grasp on the basics of Zanes parts, so he knows what he's looking at. More specifically, he knows what he's not looking at. Wire- important wires, the ones Nya complains about because they have to special order them and they take ages to come- are missing. Not torn out, but neatly trimmed down near his wrist. The structure boning for his pinkie is gone, removed in the same clean fashion. There's more- Kai only knows so much, but he can tell the machinery underneath looks far more barren than a few wires and bone. Lloyd told them about the message in that cave, where he'd tried to fix the mech.

Kai can see it clearly in his mind. Zane, desperate and alone, taking the edge of a ninja star and sliding it along the near Invisible seam holding the casing of his hand together and shoving, cracking the connection points until it pops clean off. He and the mechs used the same type of wiring, after all.

The Emperor's voice is quiet when he speaks, the unfamiliar deep grit softening in the question meant just for the space between them, "Why do I hate you so much?"

Kais heartbreak over what might have happened in the cave stalls, every part of his mind thrown off rhythm with a question he never would have guessed he'd be asked. He can't articulate a response because he can't understand why Zane would hate him, and why that emotion would be leaking out into the Ice Emperor now.

"Zane-" He starts before his mouth is sealed shut with a layer of ice. Brain freeze hits first, sharp and cruel and like an icepick up through the roof of his mouth. Frost invades his mouth and glues his teeth together, crawling halfway down his throat. It hurts all the way to the roots of his teeth and he thrashes on instinct, bouncing his head off hard stone before he can control his reaction. Every part of his face hurts. There's a terrifying moment where the ice spreads over the back of his throat and seals off his sinuses and he's certain the Emperor has finally decided to kill him by suffocating him to death.

But the ice recedes almost as quickly as it came, though the Emperor keeps his hand over Kais mouth as a reminder not to slip up again. That was worse than the first time he'd done it, Kai doesn't want to know how bad it might be next.

The Ice Emperor's face is terrifyingly blank, a mask that gives absolutely nothing to Kai, so empty it scares him more than anything he's done so far. The interest in his eyes has fractured, and underneath is a hatred that makes the black of his pupils seem darker.

"You and your friends," his voice is still gentle, chillingly calm, "I hate all of you so much. I do not know why, but I do. I want to punish you."

Kai’s heart is jack rabbiting in his chest, beating at his ribs as adrenaline floods his system with nowhere to go. Fight or flight and he can't do either.

He takes his hand off Kai's mouth, "Speak." He orders.

Kai is woefully unprepared, stumbling over himself to try and come up with some way to remind Zane who he is. Lloyd told him that Zane said he loved them in his goodbye video. Why did that change? Was it the staff corrupting his mind? But the staff can only feed feelings that were already there. Did some part of Zane, some small part, really hate him?

"You're sick," he tries, his tongue darting out to try and wet chapped lips but its been hours since he's had a drink and his mouth is dry, "The staff is altering your mind, Zane. This isn't you. We're all friends! We love you!" He isn't above pleading and he pours desperation into each word, "You have to remember! I love you!"

The Emperor tilts his head inquisitively to the side as his expression flickers along the edges. Kai still knows Zane well enough to pick up on the minute changes- not a hint of it is kind. Whatever Kai said picked something loose, but not enough. Not enough. The light In his eyes changes but not in any way Kai can understand. He presses his finger to Kais mouth and seals it with another layer of ice, stopping his words. The air is thick, fraught with a tension so strong Kai can barely breathe through it. The Emperor looks at him. His eyes are so dark. He can still see Zane in everything the man does.

"I waited for you," the Ice Emperor speaks slowly, sounding out the sentence as if reaffirming its truth. A piece of Zane, just a sliver- a curiosity for the man crouched before him. It's a feeling, a certainty of a grievous crime, "And you never came."

It's bone chilling hatred.

It's betrayal.

Kais heart drops through his stomach and cracks to pieces on the icy floor. No no no-! He can't wrench his jaw free of his muzzle but he tries desperately to. He tries to scream, to howl and pour heat into his mouth- fire reacts to his devotion to his family, rushing through his body but again Kai is not enough.

We didn't know! We couldn't have known! We came as soon as we could! He thrashes on the floor, tries to bash his jaw down to shatter ice. He wants to grab the Emperor by the shoulders and shake shake shake him until his head pops off. I would have torn apart the sixteen realms to get to you! He's crying and the tears sting where they drip down his face. I would do anything!

He slumps, boneless and sore where his skin bruises on stone. He's thirsty, he's starving, and he's so so cold. The fire flickers out of him back down to an ember, faint and comforting if not much else. He blinks the wet from his eyes and sees the Emperors white white robes are stained with blood at the bottom. Above him, the tyrant moves.

Kai pushes himself back, the reality really sinking in. He was going to die here. No! he couldn't! He couldn't let Zane do this because when they got him back- and they would get him back, Kai has to believe that- he would never forgive himself. His back hits a pillar of ice and he looks around wildly, trying to figure out some way to get out of this, a smoking gun, a dues ex machina- anything! To stop what's coming.

He can do nothing. He squeezes his eyes shut as the Ice Emperor cups his cheek gently- but there's no ice stabbing into his brain, no agony of a literal ice pick lobotomy. The Emperors thumb wipes away an errant tear. A heartbeat passes before Kai hesitantly looks up at him.

The Emperor's face is still and serene, "I am not going to kill you, Kai." There is a moment of relief, even an inkling of hope before the chill comes.

It seeps into his skin from the Emperor's hand, down down through his face- It pours like slush through fat and muscle, cutting through his cheek to burn his gums and freeze the nerves in his teeth. It gets colder. Kai tries to dislodge his hand but the Emperor jerks forward and slams him down, holding his head against the stone floor as he pours ice into his blood faster, more brutal. Kai can't scream, his jaw locking against the bite of frost. It gets colder. It burns like the road rash he’d gotten the first time he’d wrecked his motorcycle, but a million times worse. Pain overwhelms all of his senses until he forgets how to breathe, hyperventilating and trying miserably to suck in enough air through his nose. His mouth is still sealed shut, he can't get enough air- he can't- His vision flickers with black spots.

It gets colder.

Feeling stops, numbness spreading like a balm over dying nerves. He stops struggling, taking advantage of the respite to catch his breath. His chest hurts with how hard his heart beats. His head is spinning. He looks up at the Ice Emperor with exhausted eyes and finds no pity, and especially no mercy. As Kai had struggled and sobbed in agony, he’d watched it all happen. He’d just watched. Kai is aware of the hand in his face by pressure alone, feeling blissfully gone.

The Ice Emperor takes his hand away.

He lays there and breathes, a tingling feeling spreading over his cheek. Pins and needles that turn sharper and sharper. With the loss of cold, feeling creeps back in and Kai is slowly aware of every inch of dying skin the frostbite has decimated. It hurts- it hurts like nothing he's ever experienced. He can't comprehend the pain, his mind blanking out as the blood roars in his ear. His vision goes gray at the edges as he struggles to stay awake. He can't pass out- he has to bring Zane back. He has to. He can't let him hurt the others. He can’t fail him like he did with the fight against Aspheera. Kai has to be enough. Please let him be enough.

The Emperor cards a hand through Kai's bangs, deceptively gentle as he wipes sweat slick hair off his forehead.

"I want you to suffer."

[softgrungeprophet]

something something the frequency with which peter parker angrily wishes death upon people in his inner thoughts, a la "diebullseyediebullseyediebullseyediebullseye" (asm#596)

(he's pretending to be venom with a suit made of unstable molecules)

"Kill Johnny Storm! Dispose of the body!! Collect insurance!!!" (ff#17) etc...

this of course is only two (mostly) humorous examples but there are definitely more lmao

[introspectivememories]

in my head and my heart, they had to keep sedating sabo after he saw the news headline that ace was executed. he kept on waking up during the fever and someone (read: dragon) had the bright idea to tell him that ace was dead and sabo fucking loses it. delirious and half out of his mind, he kept trying to escape, muttering about saving ace. when his fever finally broke, sabo laid in that bed, eyes vacant and unseeing for weeks. it's koala, desperate and afraid for her partner, who tells him about luffy hoping that it'll be enough for sabo gain back that spark in his eyes. except no one knows where luffy is and the last time anyone had seen him, he was grievously injured. somebody accidently leaves a newspaper in his room and the first page is just full of speculation about whether or not luffy is dead and sabo... well sabo just fucking breaks. if sabo had lost something when ace's death had first sunk in, there is nothing left but the hollow husk of a man at the thought of luffy's supposed "death". they had put that man on suicide watch. i'm talking someone with him at all times and the worst part of it all is that no matter how much they beg, sabo keeps trying to join his brother.

[alexysmugg]

pondering about writing full ass fics about the most problematic and concerning kink i have...