#threads. / jacob & zain

[thirtecnth]

Jacob set his hand on Zain's shoulder and shook his head. "The maybes will only drive you insane," he said, letting out a sigh. "And thinking of the maybes now won't bring her back to you." It felt harsh to say out loud, but he needed Zain to know that. He was just at the beginning of his journey through the labyrinth of grief... It was going to take time.

"Not in body, no." He wouldn't budge on his beliefs and his words. Right now, Jacob just understood that the other would understand someday. His chest welled up with grief and he turned to him. "Zain, she has gone from us... I know it must hurt more than anything and I am so sorry for your loss— Know if I could take this on this pain for you, I would. In an instant— but you have the support of myself and friends that love you to keep you strong as you take this on this chapter. There is no shame in asking for help when your world is crumbling."

zain wasn't a religious man but he'd pray to any god that would hear him if it meant he could see her again or at least know she was at peace. he huffed a curt laugh at father jacob's attempt at a joke. he appreciated the effort. "i could've saved her, i had her in my grasp. maybe if i had stretched further or i wasn't pulled back i could've saved her." the guilt was eating him alive.

"but she's not here, not really" he knew what jacob was trying to say and while his words were kind and thoughtful given the situation, zain wasn't at the acceptance stage yet "i need to clean out her place, but i can't do it. if i do it then she's really gone."

[thirtecnth]

Jacob had been making his rounds to many who had lost loved ones. He typically tried to avoid the gossip columns, but when more than one person had come to him with what had been written revolving around the saving of someone versus the failure of it-- he couldn't avoid his frustration any longer.

He found himself sitting beside the other, two coffees in hand, and letting out a deep breath as he offered one to the other.

"It's cold out. I figured you might like a bit of coffee and company this morning."

where: main street (by the void) who: open to all

she was there. she was right there. he had her in his grasp and then she was gone.

it had been two weeks since she'd gone and every day he had sat by the void, hoping that this was some joke and she'd crawl out. that she would laugh saying she was fine and then roast his ass for being emotional, but it had been two weeks since she'd gone.

day fifteen and he was back sitting at his usual spot, staring blankly into the darkness. he should've held on tighter, he should've broke free and dived in after her. the people that pulled him back thought they had saved him, but they killed him when she fell.

[thirtecnth]

"You're welcome." Times like these were the hardest for Jacob. No amount of prayers or worship could bring a person back. He wasn't a fool. He knew that. Especially when it came to someone you loved deeply. That person was irreplaceable. "What else would you have me do? Paperwork? No," he let out one small laugh, gently patting the other on the back. "I'd much rather keep you company."

"I know. I don't blame you," he shrugged, then turned his glance to him. "She's never left you, however. In every word you utter, every decision, every breath... In the lessons she's taught you and the love you shared. She's here. And always will be."

he figured it was only a matter of time before one of the priests would come check on him. by his own admission, he was displaying some telltale signs of a breakdown. zain looked up from his space and took the coffee, thanking him for the gesture.

"thanks father." he mumbled, thankful for the heat from the coffee cup. "you must have better things to do than sit here"

"i can't bring myself to leave her"