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abdicatedarchive · 3 years ago

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rudimentary || landon x bella

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍: throwback // 2017.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: landon x bella.

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒: rudeness.

𝐃𝐄��𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒: a throwback look into landon and bella’s relationship.

After a long time of schmoozing with Bella's parents, they were finally able to head upstairs. Honestly, it was killing him how long she was making him wait. It sounded like everyone was having sex but him, and sure ... he was doing some stuff on the side. But he wasn't having sex sex, not yet anyways. If she didn't put out today, it was honestly as if she had given him no choice but to cheat. She was babbling again as they got upstairs, and he just laid down on her bed and pulled out his book. He put on his horned rimmed glasses and started to read, patting his chest so she would know to lay down near him. The biggest thing about Bella was that she was beautiful, if only she would ever just shut up. She'd be one of the most popular girls in school if she just wasn't so vocal about things, but while he was in this indie phase she was a nice alternative to the plastic and perfect girls that infected Hastings. But at the same time, those were the girls who were actually hooking up with him ... so they weren't really that bad. They really knew how to keep quiet. "Abs" said Landon as he played with her hair as he pretended to focus on his book, he knew that the more he focused on his book the more she would be willing to do anything to get his attention, "quiet down, I'm trying to read".

Bella enjoyed how much her parents liked Landon, it seemed like she had finally got something right with them, but she still felt like she was on the outside somehow. She didn't add too much to these conversations, but maybe she needed to try a bit harder. When she was alone with Landon however, she couldn't stop talking. She just wanted to share everything with him that she usually kept away in her heart. Bella never really figured out if he kept quiet because he was actually listening or if he was tuning her out. All she ever wanted was for someone to truly hear her and care. Once they got to her room and he pulled out his book, Bella took a pause on what she was previously talking about so she could bring up the book she bought. She had recently read up on some of his favorite authors' work. His interests meant a lot to her, it was a part of who he was as a person. "How is your book going?" she smiled as she laid her head down on his chest. "I saw something from that author last week and it reminded me of you so I got it. If you haven't read it yet, you could always borrow mine. I think you'd really like it-" Hearing the nickname always threw her off a little. She never liked her full name, but if Landon did, she'd try to get over it. "I'm sorry." she mumbled, it was pretty rude to talk to someone while they were reading, she should've been more considerate. Bella moved up a bit to place a soft kiss on his jawline, "Maybe after you're done reading, you could tell me about it?" she suggested. "Or we could talk about your day, whatever you want. If you don't wanna talk that's fine too, I just enjoy being with you." she unintentionally kept rambling. Bella wanted Landon to know that he was loved.

Landon put his finger into his book to hold his place when she asked about his day, "It was boring. Everyone at school is so ... rudimentary." He began to complain, "I have no idea how they let some people into honors English when they can't even comprehend Animal Farm. Like that giant oaf Summers. Not a thought in his whole head, I'd be surprised if the blood makes it all the way up there." Landon couldn't stand most of the people in Hastings, they just needed to educate themselves so they could be on his intellectual level. "I'm just glad there's us. You might not be pretty in the way that the other girls are, but at least you're closer to being able to keep up with my poetry" he meant it as a compliment, but he liked to keep her in her place. While he was speaking, he moved his free hand down her jaw line and pulled her in for a kiss.

There was something slightly draining in Landon's negativity, but Bella never allowed herself to put two and two together. She tried to think that her boyfriend saw a lot of potential in others, and they just weren't at his standard yet. But he was with her, and he wanted to be with her which made her feel better about herself. He must have saw something so special in Bella, something she wasn't able to see just yet. She made an effort to not talk so rudely about others, there had to be some kind of good in everyone, but when it came to the Summers ... let's just say she had to put in the extra effort to find the good for most of them. "I think his strengths lie in sports." She was trying to stay positive, even if the boy wasn't around to hear Landon's comments. Bella made sure not to give any attention to his comment on the boy's height. She didn't like talking about height, and she felt like Landon was a bit bothered by the one inch she had over him. Maybe she was just paranoid about it. Bella couldn't smile any wider when hearing that he was glad that it was the two of them, she felt the same exact way. But of course, those happy moments never lasted too long. "Other girls?" she asked quietly. It felt like a punch to the gut. His lips were already pressed against hers but his comment was still ringing in her head. She needed to try better for him, there was clearly something she was lacking in, so she moved over a bit to get more comfortable and deepened the kiss. It was some kind of attempt to make him more attracted to her.

He was admittedly very jealous of one quality that Cody Summers had, his height. Landon was more of a short king, as his father liked to say. They were a short family, and Landon viewed it as a humbling mechanism from whatever God was out there. It honestly made him very insecure, and was the main reason he switched from sports to the arts. That way he could be the center of attention, the peak sensitive brooding boy. Bella was unnervingly positive, "Abs, that guy is so rude to you. I would never treat a female like that. I can't believe my sister dates him" said Landon. Why his dear sister had to date someone in his grade was beyond him, let alone why she wouldn't just date a college guy when the men of standard were all taken in her grade. "What other girls? Babe you're being insecure, that's not hot. You should be more confident in yourself, that's what's sexy" said the boy as he dropped his book on the floor and moved his hands to her hips. It was odd that he could say that he respected women and then in almost the same breath dish up such deep respect for the one he was spending time with, but that was Landon.

Bella bit down on her bottom lip, she definitely could start standing up for herself more, but Cody's crowd was too intimidating. They seemed like the kind of people that would laugh in her face if she tried defending herself. "I know, but I'm sure there's a lot to him if your sister likes him. She has great judgement in people." she tried talking Alexandra up. She never wanted to get on that girl's bad side. Bella held back the need to comment on Landon's choice of words. It made her deeply uncomfortable, but she didn't want to start any potential fight. "You just mentioned other girls-" she stopped herself, the more she pushed it, the more paranoid she'd look. "Sorry, I think I misunderstood. Really." she forced smile a smile and continued to kiss him. She needed to be confident, that's what he found sexy. Bella pulled away from the kiss and sat up to straddle Landon. That's being confident, right? "Forget what I said. My brain, she's a little slow." she tried laughing off her joke before kissing him again. "If I'm doing anything wrong, let me know please." she added in between her kisses. It may have sounded dumb out loud, but she wanted to make sure she was making Landon happy.

He was happy that Bella liked Alexandra, Alex took some convincing about Bella. But she was of good breeding, and she was definitely the peak of the indie crowd. There were definite advantages to dating Bella: having a date to everything, the prowess of having a girlfriend, someone who was completely devoted to him. She rambled on and on, so Landon put a stop to it in his special way, "my sweet simple girl" said Landon as he tucked hair behind her ear. He pulled her back in for a kiss, moving his hands down from her waist to her ass. He wondered if she was finally going to let him sleep with her, "don't worry, you're doing great. I'm not that much more experienced than you" he said, emphasizing the that. It was important to him to be the most experienced one, especially because with the other girls it wasn't the case.

A side smile appeared on Bella's face as Landon called her his sweet simple girl. There was something bittersweet about it, to be called his sweet girl, but to also be referred to as simple. He always had high standards ... which was a nice way of saying that he thought everyone around him was pretty much stupid or below him. That's how it would come across to Bella sometimes, and she was scared that he saw her like that as well. She wanted to be good enough for him, and she'd do pretty much anything to show him that she was. "Right." she responded awkwardly. Anything she had done, she had done with Landon. Sharing those kind of moments with him was really special to her, so she didn't like to think about the fact that he's been with other people before her. Bella wasn't too much of a jealous person, and whenever those feelings kicked it, she usually tried to keep them hidden for the most part. "I love you." she said as she cupped the sides of his face. "Thank you for always being so patient with me. I just want you to know that I appreciate it and you. A lot."

When she said I love you, Landon replied as he always did "ditto." He had only said he loved her seriously once. Sometimes he slid them in when she did him favors or things, or when they were in front of people. Little love yous in public, but in private? It was just ditto. And he also never said it first. "I am pretty good, aren't I? Not like the other guys at school. I actually understand women" he said with a cocky smile. He liked to remind her how much better he was than the average guy at school. Landon was a sensitive young man in his opinion.

Bella had gotten used to his usual response. Though she would love to hear it back, it wasn't necessary. He had said he loved her before and that was enough to know that she was loved. Him not saying it often just meant that it was even more special to her when he did. "You're the best." she replied with a single nod, taking his conceited comments as confidence. "You're one of the only people that really understands me. Sometimes I feel so alone and out of place, but not when I'm with you." she started to ramble again. When Bella was around her family, she barely spoke. She kept her comments and her feelings to herself, so when she found someone that made her feel as loved as Landon did, she wanted to pour her whole heart out to him. "It's like my life is a Kandinsky painting, full of color."

"That's great Abs" said Landon with a soft smile as he snuck his hands under her shirt. Yeah she was talking about her feelings, and she was being vulnerable ... but whose to say she couldn't be vulnerable in other ways. She was just going on and on, and he had things to do later. Other girls. Bella was always rambling on about how he made her feel, but she never showed him. She took so long to wear down on the whole sex thing, it was obvious that he was going to have to get that from someone else. He wanted to sleep with her, but honestly this was becoming too much. There were plenty of pros to dating her, and his family was a part of that, but the pros were starting to be outweighed by the cons if she wasn't going to put out. His friends said she was going to be easy, that she was so desperate for someone to like her like that. But she had been the most difficult.

Bella wished Landon opened up more to her sometimes, they had been together for so long now, but part of her understood where he was coming from. She wasn't like this with anyone else. There was no point in talking when no one would care about what you had to say. There was also the possibility that her boyfriend's love language was physical touch, and he had been so considerate with her all this time. At this point, it was hard to keep track of how many times she told him she wasn't ready for sex, but she started to realize that there was nothing to be scared of. She would be sharing this moment with the person she loved the most, it would only take their relationship to a higher level. Bella got goosebumps as she felt his hands under her shirt, "Do you have to go soon?" she asked, already feeling her face warm up as she was preparing to tell Landon. "Because I'm ready. For sex." she stupidly specified. "If you're ready, of course. Sorry if this is out of nowhere. I could wait until the time is right."

Landon was more than ready, "I have no where to be" he lied, "I can make time." -Fade to black, he didn't really do anything for her at all. It was just about him- "Fuck, I'm spent" said Landon, "you came, right?" he said as he passed her her clothes. It wasn't that he wanted her to cover up, but he wanted to make sure that he still had the upper hand. It was happening quickly, him losing interest in her. Not that there was that much to begin with, but god, her denying him made him want her. Now he had her, like a baby bird in the palm of his hand.

Bella looked over at Landon and nodded slowly, "Yeah." she lied, forcing a smile as she spoke. She had heard of some people's first times not being as incredible as they imagined, but she didn't think it would be this underwhelming. It felt rude even thinking like that though. It would only get better from here on out, and her boyfriend seemed to enjoy it, so that was good enough for her. She reluctantly grabbed her clothes and put them on, he seemed pretty quick to give them back to her, but maybe she was overthinking that. What would she know? "You could spend the night if you want, my parents won't even notice. We could watch a movie, your pick." she suggested cheerfully.

"Sorry babe, I should probably get out of here. I have plans with my friends" said Landon, emphasizing the fact that they were his friends ... not hers. He didn't want her embarrassing him. She was greatish around the halls, when she didn't speak and it was just a passing situation. She couldn't say anything then, nothing that could be annoying. In the hallway she was just a beautiful girl like all the others, not the prettiest of the Langstons ... but a Langston none the less. Landon got dressed pretty quickly, "Later" he said as he ducked out. Landon whipped out his phone before he was even down the stairs, texting his friends that he had totally gotten her v card.

"Oh. Okay." Bella couldn't hold the smile on her face, she had hoped Landon would at least want to lay with her for a little bit. This was such a big deal for her, and it didn't seem like that for him at all. If he had plans, she of course didn't want to be that girlfriend that makes him cancel just for her, he probably wouldn't cancel anyways, but she thought this would all turn out a lot better. "Bye, I lo-" Something prevented her from finishing her sentence, but he was already gone before she could finish it anyways. She sat there in her bed for a moment, there was an uncomfortable sensation in the pit of her stomach, almost as if she were nauseous, but she did nothing about it. What was there to be done? All she did was get under her comforter and lay down for the rest of the night, she could feel her eyes watering, but tried her best to keep it in. She was all alone and she still felt the need to hide how she was feeling. [ END ]

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