#thr bad guy? that doesnt sound very nice-

[mobblespsycho100]

that reminds me. ive been playing around w/ some other characters in Pastex who I can multilate to finally give Day a break. I've got the inklings of two or three characters rn, people who Day works with. He's organ seller, but really he's part of a TEAM of organ sellers and all he does is take them out of the bidy and store them properly. There's gotta be other people for handling the actual selling, yk? It's a very formal business.

So. Firstly we have Marty's brother. I'm considering making his name Robbin and choosing a new last name for the both of them because. funnies. Anyway. he doesnt actually help Day at all they're just pals. He's Marty's yojnger brother by about eight years, making him just a bit younger than Day. He works together with Marty in thr clinic and keeps the social guards off their scent- he's a really popular guy, one of those people who gets along with everyone, so he's got a lot of connections.

He's the one that designed Day's prosthetic btw!! + had the connectiond to get ppl to make it. They met either when Marty introduced him to Day for that specific purpose (Day had been using a makeshift one until that point) OR when he had a longer stay in the clinic after a particularly bad injury. Either way, he's probably Day's closest friend- if you can really call them that, he keeps everyone at an arms length.

The other characters are way less developed. I'm thinking both how they can relate to Day and organ selling, but also their role in the larger story of the coup. I've mostly been thinking abt a sorta strategist? Before Yoki joins and kickstarts the events they'd probably have been the one actually selling the stuff/finding buyers. If im so fr I've been so busy trying to thubk of a short hairstyle for them (I have too many long haired characters .....) that I havent thought much abt their personality or backstory. I'm thinking they might be like... Day's motivatuon for stagung a coup is basically exclusjvely to destroy Koro through any means, but this character might be motivated by curiousness abt it? How it functions? That could be a good way to introduce the fact that Koro compiles human brains to "think" .

Alternatively, I also like the idea of a really optimistic character who I can later break? I'm a huge fan of that trope, and we can't really see it played out with Ico or Billy since one dies too soon and the other is already accustomed to the harshness of the world. Maybe I can change around Ico's personality a bit and still use that....

organ seller team sounds so fun...

marty and robbin the brothers . so glad u gave day a #friend thats #silly yaaay

strategist chatacter should be a short haired girlboy pls ... if u want .

also optimistic chatacter u can break is GREAT thatd be so nice . im guessing theyre also part of the organ seller team which is funky. guy whos very into organ selling until they get a breakdown over it

[mamusings]

Supernatural Season 1 Thoughts

So I'm rewatching mainly to distract myself from the dogs breakfast the show has descended into. But also because my feelings about the show as a whole are decidedly mixed. I come to it as a buffy fan. I've always been curious about spn as a successor show to buffy, but only watched thr first 13 seasons in 2020. Blame lockdown.

Anyway s1. Blinding start, blinding finish. But the middle is just too many MOTW episodes without enough season arc development. I keep wondering who the show is for. It feels aesthetically very male. Lots of blood, guns and violence. Well-realised horror feel - although I think it's hard to really feel fear when you dont particularly care about who might die. It's only when you threaten a major character death that things hit harder. Also the genuflecting to realism by drawing on urban myths feels like something for stereotypically 'male' rather than 'female'. Probably reflects my preferences that I was never to into the MOTW format some buffy fans loved and that I was always more interested in the story telling than realism or even consistency. Monsters as metaphors works better for me. But Spn is a much more cloistered universe. Two guys and their absent father is what s1 is about. But it dits weirdly between being comfort viewing and needing attention. There's much that starts to feel formulaic with MOTW episodes: Impala on the road scene, some rock music, an opener that gives you a new mystery and people to go with it blah blah. You can practically set your watch by the final denouement happening in the final 8 mins. It feels like the show is diligently checking off every myth and monster going which gets tedious. I found the need for setting up yet another family in danger was something that gets hard to care about. "Oh look a couple, someone's gonna die, shall I fast forward until sam and dean show up." And yet there are some interesting undercutting of the white working class vibe the show has. Two that stand out to me are: the 'female gazing' of the camera work off Sam and Dean. There's a lot of panning - are we getting in the boys with the guns and hardware and then offering up the handsome male bodies for women? I felt a little cheap, but they they are v cute. The other is having a black/bi racial woman play Dean's only serious love interest. The ghost truck thing is terrible but putting attitudes to race at the centre of this particular storyline was intriguing. Perhaps a counter balance to the overall wwc feel of things. (Full disclosure I am a black woman and I enjoyed seeing this - even tho I did have several moments of wondering was the predominant female look so uniform back then. All the girls have the same build (and did we all wear such low rise jeans?) plus long, wavy/curly hair...except Meg who basically has Sam's hairstyle ha ha)

What's impressive? The first few episodes give us a cluster of core lines: bitch/jerk, no chick flick moments, and the sibling dynamic This show hits its stride right in the pilot and wendigo is still one of the scarier episodes. Thats a really good opening shot imo.

It's no surprise that what's really riveting is Sam and Dean. But on rewatching I saw a lot more on why this is so interesting. Basically when the characters are introduced you first get Sam. He's your archetypal nice guy whis hot everything though for him. Stanford, girlfriend, friends, great test score but also and crucially hes likeable. Then you get Dean and hes introduced as a dick. Breaks in, wrestles Sam, comes on to/is sleazy with Sams gf. So cocky bad boy: check.

In the pilot dean is the annoying big brother to a t. So they set up two contrasting personalities. Dean is disrespectful to cops, Sam is embarrassed by it. Dean is into hunting, Sam is unwillingly persuaded. Dean is insensitive, Sam kinder and sweet. Dean plays dumb, Sam's the academic achiever. But what we witness over the course of the season essentially reverses this. Sam's the real rebel defying his father, Dean the obedient son. Dean gets a lot of scenes showing him make swift emotional connections esp with children or people in caretaker roles. Dean's very adult 'I'm 26 of course I go on hunts alone' is unmasked by the fact he gets Sam to help him because hes lonely. And Dean (often clumsily) tries to help Sam move on about Jess and open up about his nightmares. While the explicit dialogue casts Sam as the geeky loser brother what we see in this season is that the loser is actually Dean. Sam has friends, Sam has a relationship, Sam has a life he wants to get back to. Dean has no one and some of the hardest emotional hits this season are when his mask is lifted to show us just that. For instance shape shifter Dean voices his jealousy in Skin. Also Azazel taunts Dean about how he needs Sam and John in a way that they dont need him.

The closing episodes really bring some of these contrasts home. Dead Mans Blood gives us a great bonding scene between Sam and John, for me that's a moment where it falls into place that they so much in common that it leaves Dean on the outside. They both loved women they lost to a demon. For both of them (at this stage) the mission, as in killing this demon, matters more than family. Its Dean who constantly prioritises family, even while his family deprioritise him. Both Sam in Salvation and John in Devils Trap put sacrificing themselves to kill the demon as their first priority. Whereas Dean consistently argues for family, first persuading John that they are stronger together, then telling Sam that the three of us 'is all I have' in Salvation. The point gets hammered home in Devils Trap where Dean says (in case the stupid viewer missed it "you and Dad are a lot more alike..cant wait to sacrifice yourselves, but I'm going to be the one to bury you").

Much of the rest of the relationship development is about showing us the partnership Sam and Dean are developing. You see increasing ease in working together - maybe most cliched in how they toss weapons back and forth in Hell House. Plus that interesting sibling dynamic when you love someone and find them intensely annoying that feels enjoyable even if your own sibling relationship is nothing like it.

But what's interesting is that while Dean's character is revealed throughout the season. You see through the episodes the difference between his Dean presents himself and hiw he is, but dean doesn't change. Hes immature and emotionally driven I'd also savvy and brave. Its Sam who changes. Not in how he is, but in his priorities. Sam realises the good bit about Dean among the stuff that irritates him. But most importantly the final episode shows us Sam moving from thinking the mission is what matters just like John. To thinking his family matters more. He doesnt shoot Azazel inside John and when John berates him for it his look at the bloodied-up Dean in the rearview mirror speaks volumes.

It's all the more striking because thus argument has been the core dilemma for the last 3 episodes. It's also the crux of how Dean, for all his obedience, sees himself as falling short of who his father wants him to be. He cant turn his heart off. Its Dean who calls his dad sounding like a tearful little boy in Home. It's when John approves of him making the heart choice and using the colt to save Sam, that Dean realises it's not his father but Azazel speaking. I find that painful to watch it's been so well set up. You get lots of preview of Dean really wanting approval and when it finally comes and you're all ahh fsmily bonding, Dean puts it together and goes you're not my father. Ouch.

Absent fathers and eventually I guess an absent God is a big spn theme. So there is something to say for looking at it in this season. John's absence is the driver of the whole season. But it's also the foundation stone of both Sam and Dean's character. What we get most of in s1 is a sense of the impact of his fathers absence on Dean. The childhood neglect, but also the absence of approval. My European background always makes it jarring when children address their father as sir so I hope I'm not over reading this. When John gets back the way it emasculates Dean is jarring. The jumping to attention with the yessirs and the following orders is such a distance from the cocky law breaker. Its interesting that the first scenes in which I recall the boys speaking in unison are these yessirs. But the scene I remember most is a trivial one, Dean offers John a machete out of Babys messy looking trunk - hes already been pulled up by dad for inadequate car maintenance. But John pulls a bigger, better, cleaner machete out of his high spec truck - Dead Mans Blood. Sums it up for me. Dean is so eager for approval, his father withholds it so casually. Sam is less like this, because he had Dean to parent him however ineptly. Sam did not have a hoid parent in Dean, but Dean showed up. Sam starts to make that realisation in season 1 and there are a few thank you moments. Contrast Dean's only outburst against his father when hes admonished to call when in trouble. He takes a leaf out of Sam's book and notes that they did call in Lawrence and they called when Dean was dying in Faith, hes angry and rightly so. John didn't show. But its interesting that Dean's fight with John sounds like a child fighting with a parent. It even ends with 'I dont care for your tone' from John even as he accepts Dean's point. Constrast Sam and John who have a much deeper ongoing disagreement. But Sam fights his father from an adult position. He's not looking for approval or acceptance, Sam claims his ground, argues his point. Dean still just needs to be loved.

But as well as the impact of the absent parent there is also having grown beyond the parent. I feel like the final few episodes show us that 'the boys' have surpassed their father. John's fake colt idea is lame and Dean calls it. By contrast the devils trap at Bobby's to catch Meg feels like a moment of brilliance particularly as the trap is sprung on the viewer so we feel surprised too.. Sure they call in help from Bobby, but what they do is well planned and they pull it off. And calling in helo when you need it us grown up.

Theres an element of fate vs character exploration when it comes to Sam and Dean. What happens to Sam is fate. It's not related to how he is or how he behaves. We find that out more fully soon. Whereas what happend to Dean relates to his character. IMO Dean actually has the option of walking away from hunting that Sam tried to exercise. Unlike Sam, hunting wouldn't have pursued Dean by killing his girlfriend. But Dean's character means he doesnt chose to walk away because family is important to him, in a way that it isn't for Sam until the end of this season. Its interesting that Sam perceives of himself as having choices he doesn't have. Whereas Dean sees himself as having no choice, when in fact he does. But I guess we don't know that yet so maybe the argument doesn't work?

#supernatural #sam #dean #winchester

[labetalol]

ok so finished bioshock 1, 2, and minerva's den, so quick thoughts

*i never ever interacted wit the series before besides watching a playthru of bioshock infinite back in 2012, so this is all new to me! never had it spoiled or whatnot so

bioshock 1: the plot twist was surprising! i mean sure, this rando who i never end up meeting turns out to be the big bad wolf, good plot twist but to he expected- but the whole brainwashing, being born an adult, andrew ryan my own father who ends up forcing me to kill him!! whoa!

bioshock 2: okkkk i loved this one bc like. ok so i didnt mention but when i first was given the op to spare/harvest the little sisters in 1, i spared but promised myself i will harvest the next one cuz atlas was like ya gotta! but i looked at the little gremlin girls and couldnt! spared every single one! same with bioshock 2, and i liked this a bit more because of how sweet the animation is, and the scene when im controlling the little sister at the end thru adam's properties- seeing rapture in their eyes, seeing how they see monuments praising me and how i spared grace and hhh that greasy guy whats his name... (i didnt spare gil because he told me to kill him...) anyway idk i liked eleanor and her at the end helping me, and since i took a pacifist route, i liked how eleanor learned from me, choosing to spare sofia lamb as well. i got the ending where she injects herself with my adam so im living with her all the time, but to me.. doesnt that sound kinda funky lol, seems kinda weird... anyway...

minervas den: tee hee i of course didnt expect any of it until the moment reed wahl was like. "(something something) backstab *you*!" and then i was like... ME? WAIT... AM I.... I WAS IN PERSEPHONE.. WAIT A MINUTE! IM THE BIG DADDY? period! ok but ultimately, this story being a love story between pearl and milton, him accepting her death and letting go, very cute and sad

bioshock infinite: ok just started this one earlier today... already saw some cool moments with the mark of thr beast on his hand and hes like the fuck. also the raffle scene was disgusting and at first in columbia im like, wow everyone is so nice and whatnot, is this really a shooter? am i going have to kill these ppl? but as soon as i saw that im like ok. goodbye. but ya the thing im strugglign with most is progressing the game because i stop every time i hear a passing conversation. OH also ok this one random guy was like hey buddy you look fit. i can tell youre into the greco-roman culture as well... but i can always teach you some more ;)-- this is him flirting right im..